Random Comic Recall: Wonder Woman #73

I picked up a good amount of new comics recently.  I haven’t gotten around to reading many because I felt I wanted to take the time to do another Random Comic Recall.  I went through some of the boxes of comics I collected during my childhood.  I found a few books I feel could make great entries but they center around holidays or a time of year, so I guess those entries are best saved for another day.

When I found this issue, I felt it was timeless.

wonderwoman-73

Diana’s New Job?!  She is working at the Taco Whiz.  I do appreciate her boss allows her superhero outfit to be the bulk of her uniform for her shift.  I just hope we get a scene where the lasso of truth decides a customer’s super sizing.

To me, I love the ads from these 1990s comics as much as the comic itself.  I anticipate that first ad and it doesn’t let down.  On March 12, 1993, go see Fire in the Sky.  Based on a true story of Alien Abduction in Arizona in 1975.

I’m sure I don’t need to promote D.B. Sweeney movies to any of you though…

openonrock

Try to soak that opening page in.  Something seems off.  Wonder Woman stands on a rock, just big enough to fit her, in the middle of what appears to be a large body of water, while what appears to be a toy airplane floats in the background.

Turns out Diana is out here having a full on existential crisis.  It appears the rock is the remnants of Themyscira, her home. She thinks and sheds some tears that her friends and her mother all vanished like ghosts.  I can see where this will quickly lead into her getting into the fast-food industry.  You just got to be proud of her for being a strong enough woman to not get on the pole.

Diana is waiting for the plane’s owner, whom is scuba diving to find answers.  She jumps in the ocean to find him and I start to wonder why she has this schmuck looking instead of, I don’t know, Aquaman.  This guy needs an oxygen tank, so he is only good for so long, and we all know he cannot question dolphins.

Oh wait, he takes off that mask.  You can see why she asked him. He’s dreamy…

creep steve

In that super rapey kinda way.

We get a break in the action to find out we can enter to have our face drawn into an upcoming DC comic book.  If you don’t want to cut up this classic comic to enter, get additional entry forms in your Batman: Revenge of the Joker and Superman 16-bit video games from Sunsoft!

Welp, turns out our scuba friend is long-time Wonder Woman love interest Steve Trevor but he’s still hella creepy.

awkhug

In the next panel, Wonder Woman flies him onto his plane and I really begin to question why he is even there.

uselesssteve

Can’t handle being under water, when she knows the King of Atlantis.  She has to carry him onto his airplane, when she flies herself.  I hope when they get on board she opens a can of soda for him and cuts up his hot dog into easily chewable pieces.

Steve lets us know he has white man’s burden, for bringing the Amazons into whatever situation led them to disappearing.  Just give reparations, bro.  Wonder Woman needs a mule.

Apparently Steve’s guilt works, as Diana calls the search off and flies to her friend’s home to go sleep on a couch.

wondercouch

Now that her magical island is gone, she has to find a job.  Now I get it.  She looks at the help wanted ads and doubts her abilities, as she doesn’t find herself having the talents and experience needed for most of these job listings.  In what I can only call a strong writer’s choice, the job highlighted is MASTER PIPE FITTER.

Really?

Way to empower your strong female lead by talking about fitting pipe.  I guess they couldn’t find a good way to work in Beaver Inspector or some job related to carpet.

Diana, clearly lost, gets help from two upstanding gentlemen.

strangerkindness

I’m hoping if they finally do a Wonder Woman movie, these guys get put in.  I got a couple casting ideas…

tyroneEMILIO

The two guys can’t keep straight where the All-Night Employment Office is because so many places here are bankrupt.  Once again, Wonder Woman hangs out with a millionaire in Batman on a regular basis.  Think he could help?  Nope.  She is trolling the slums for minimum wage work.

She hits all kinds of job sites in her 90s power suit and tiara.

interview tiara

I don’t know how she doesn’t have a job.  I have hired 100% of the people who have interviewed with me while wearing a tiara.

Discouraged by the job hunt, Diana heads back where she gets a pep talk from her friend, KD Lang.

kd roommate

After another restless night on the couch, Diana finds herself being told the Taco Whiz is always hiring and has a uniform within minutes.  Her co-worker lets her know that Taco Whiz is the biggest employer in the country behind the Japanese!  Oh, 1993!

Those familiar with the Spider-Man franchise know the legendary advice he gets, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”  I think we get the Wonder Woman equivalent here: “An’ always measure, measure, measure!  If we make them tacos with too much meat or somethin’, we hear about it from HQ.”

That has to be the power line, although I will respect the argument of supporters of the follow up bit of dialogue where Diana learns that the largest profit margin for Taco Whiz comes from cola.

Diana gets to learn the ropes of working customer service because apparently Taco Whiz only attracts the most socially dysfunctional clients.  Some short guy just grabs his tray when she is being friendly. Local sex offender orders in the style of Rain Man:

“Food.  Tacos.  Lotsa Tacos.  Seven. An’ 2 Burritos.  Wet.”

Wet my burrito you master pipe fitter.

Creep guy devours his lunch at the counter.

gluttoncustomer

Diana leaves and sees the greaser selling roses.  He asks her about the job search and she starts talking about needing an apartment.  She asks him where to look but he tells her that he is homeless.  Nice move, Diana.

She meets up with some old lady, who tries to have us pity her for being stuck owning property in a bad neighborhood.  I get a feeling she is a secret slumlord.

slumlady

Keep in mind this look is her exiting the room telling Taco Whiz Woman that she is renting a former bathroom with no bed.

As Diana walks to work, she passes a shady guy walking with what looks to be a Chucky doll.

chuckydollkid

He gets served papers saying the wife has custody of the doll, so his immediate response is kill the guy serving the papers.  Too bad a superhero was walking by! But as Diana strips down to her costume, this guy has, “his own costume.”  He puts on a head piece and turns into a demon.  Naturally.

magicheadpiece

Scuffle begins and the kid that looks like a Chucky doll shows he is an early adapter to internet lingo.

demontransformed

After a page-long air battle, Wonder Woman removes the headpiece to allow for heart boxers and butt crack moments.  Sweet.

boxers

Process Server is too cool to remove his shades or change his pose this whole time and he tells Wonder Woman what she did was, “Pretty Slick… For a Chick,” and gives her a job.

I hope they have tacos.

Written by B. Patrick

Currently residing in Phoenix, Arizona, B. Patrick's interests include comedy, basketball, wrestling, comic books and can change as quickly as a butterfly flaps its wings.

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