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America's Least Essential Restaurant

King Kamala

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The state of Sbarro's

Just read this semi-interesting article calling Sbarro, America's least essential restaurant. Writer makes a decent enough case but it's hard to argue Sbarro being any more or less inessential than say Au Bon Pain or Arby's---all of three of which are staples of the Maine Mall food court.
 

Precious Roy

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Arbys is mad essential dawg. I think that was the first place I ever had curly fries. F'n beef & cheddar with hot sauce.......gooooood shit

I'd say "Roy Rogers" is probably the right answer here. It's everything you love about a fast food burger joint only way crappier
 

Mazto

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I'd agree with the author. Sbarro's is pretty useless, the taste is middle of the road at best, and since I've only ever seen them in shopping malls their prices are inflated.
 

King Kamala

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dead man said:
Arbys is mad essential dawg. I think that was the first place I ever had curly fries. F'n beef & cheddar with hot sauce.......gooooood shit

I'd say "Roy Rogers" is probably the right answer here. It's everything you love about a fast food burger joint only way crappier
I'll second that. And not just because on my way back to Maine from Pennsylvania, I stopped at a highway rest stop where the only restaurants were Roy Rogers and Sbarro and they were both closed at 9:15 P.M. Ugh. WHO THE FUCK CLOSES AT 9 P.M.? The Slim Jim and Sprite I had at the little convenience store there probably ended providing more sustenance anyways.

I kind of like Arby's but I don't think it's very good outside the curly fries and Jamocha shakes and you can get those at other fast food joints.
 

Star Ocean 2

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Panda Express is a regular restaurant now, with locations outside of malls. The Mongolian BBQ places have taken over inside malls.
 

AA484

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Any place that has a salad bar is straight up with me. Ruby Tuesday's gets a pass.
 

tonyjaymz03

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RAJON "THE REAL BICK DICK" RONDO said:
Any place that has a salad bar is straight up with me. Ruby Tuesday's gets a pass.

A good salad bar is pretty killer. Just reading that made me want a nice salad now...
 

AA484

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Anyone here remember Quincy's steak house? Salad bar, hot bar, soft serve ice cream. When I was a young 'un I used to beg my parents to take me there at least once a week. I haven't had it in years (most, if not all, of them have closed) so my advanced palate would probably reject it, but I wouldn't mind having a meal there for old time's sake.
 

Mattdotcom

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"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!" is the funniest thing Sherri ever said on The Simpsons. Or was it Terri?
 

Edwin

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RAJON "THE REAL BICK DICK" RONDO said:
Any place that has a salad bar is straight up with me. Ruby Tuesday's gets a pass.
The Ruby Tuesday salad bar is like an unholy butt garden. That shit is disgusting.
 

Red Baron

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If including Canadian chains, Kelsey's is the least essential Restaurant.

Fact. I have never been to a TGIFridays or an Applebees.
 

Edwin

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I would call Ruby Tuesday's and Olive Garden two sides of the same miserable, tearful coin. Sbarro is the result of their bloodcum Willem Dafoe Antichrist hammer-smashed cock union.
 

Red Baron

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I mean for chain Italian restaurants, The Old Spaghetti Factory is miles ahead of the Olive Garden here in Canada. Though I see commercials for East Side Mario's, I have seen maybe 10 or so locations across Canada.
 

King Kamala

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redbaron51 said:
If including Canadian chains, Kelsey's is the least essential Restaurant.

Fact. I have never been to a TGIFridays or an Applebees.
Me neither. Ditto with Red Lobster and Chilli's. I used to be able to say the same thing about Chilli's until 3 or 4 years ago when my friend's girlfriend got to make the lunch spot pick when we were all being indecisive.

My aversion to shitty sit down chains is weird considering how much I love shitty fast food chains but I guess if I'm going to shove mediocre food down my gullet, I don't want to pay $10-15 plus tip for it.
 

Vitamin X

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Red Lobster is cool for when they do Lobster or Shrimpfest. Wife and I went a while back and they had some deal for like $15-20 they just keep bringing out different shrimp dishes until you tell them to stop. This along with Cheddar Bay biscuits also being unlimited made it one of the best gluttonfests I've ever had, high or otherwise, but especially high.

I'm not big on chain restaurants in general (duh, I live in Portland, why bother?) but sometimes there's a time and place for them. I can't find any local place that does crab legs, for instance. I know I can just go to the store and boil em myself, but why? I like scarfing them down.
 

Mattdotcom

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FUN FACT: If you ate at the Olive Garden in Tuscaloosa between 2003 and 2006, you probably have an STD.
 

tonyjaymz03

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olive garden is pure shit. I had a friend who worked there, their meals come in frozen portions, and they essentially just heat it up when you order it. gross.

fridays can be decent, but never order a steak there, ugh.
 

Mazto

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I think the steak advice holds true for most cookie cutter chains, barring the occasional chef who actually knows what they are doing or is working some kind of voodoo back there.

I don't mind Chili's (the one here is actually really, really good) or Applebee's as kind of a tweener place to eat. They serve their purpose, they are nicer than McD's for a date, but not so fancy that you feel the need to go all out for. Sizzler can eat a bag of dicks though.
 
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