Dreamt up an edition of RAW that I felt I had to share:
So, there's this big ceremony for John Cena. I think he was supposed to be announcing his retirement or something. There's a sign that says "CENA INVENTED WRESTLING" that is misspelled, though I forget where. Anyway, Cena comes to the ring, all solemn, and then says that the rumours of him retiring are false. He says something like, "I'LL RETIRE WHEN MICHAEL COLE IS BLACK AND THE ROCK IS WHITE! I AIN'T GOING ANYWHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!" R-Truth comes out and they do a back and forth. Typical stuff from Cena. You know the drill. I think AJ from NXT is shown watching the promo along with some goth girl who I completely made up.
Main event is an 8-Man Wildcard Match ala Survivor Series 1995. It's John Cena, CM Punk, someone I don't remember and R-Truth vs. Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Pat Tanaka and CRUSH. I mention in my dream that Crush is dead, but no one else seems to realize this. The match is pretty good, honestly. Anyway, towards the end of the match, The Great Khali comes out and attacks Rikishi, who literally appears out of nowhere for some reason. Khali gives Rikishi the Tree Slam and then just disappears. Next thing I know, Sin Cara is about to attack Cena, but then has a change of heart: He springboards off of the top rope, defies physics by twisting back onto the top rope from mid-air, and gives Pat Tanaka a 6-1-9. Cena then wins the match for his team.
*Then*, Bret Hart's entrance music hits. Only it's a SWERVE~!, as it's not Bret, but rather Chris Jericho making his return with his new apprentice: M.C. Andrew Punisher, who looks a lot like if Test and Luke from Tough Enough had a baby. And was slightly taller than Jericho. Not sure what the M.C. stood for, unless he was supposed to be a rapper from Canada too. Anyway, they're all giddy on how they fooled everyone. Jericho applies The Walls Of Jericho on Cena while Andrew Punisher cheers him on with greenish-yellowish spotlights shining down on them. But then, Cena is saved by something. All of a sudden, AJ appears in the ring and begins making out with Cena. Then the goth girl comes into the ring and *she* starts making out with Cena. Thus, a catfight begins with the two girls ending with AJ getting her hands raised by Cena as some unidentifiable music plays and gold spotlights shine down on her. Everyone cheers and RAW comes to a close.
I wake up and realize that I had been asleep for 10 hours up to that point.