909 Watches TV: Lost, Deadwood

909

909
Staff member
TURNING ON EACH OTHER

While there are some inconsistencies as a result of this recut, the last five episodes here are all really funny and felt like how Arrested Development is supposed to be. Tobias now has the capability to free Lucille from prison, as he's finally taken another job as a therapist. It also turns out now that Tony Wonder wants to continue to fake being gay in order to pry George Michael's phone number out of Gob, then hack his phone, steal Fakeblock, and make tons of money. All the scenes with Gob in this episode are hilarious, and Michael is best when fighting with Gob.

FAST COMPANY

I laughed harder at Gob trying to forcefeed George Michael a roofie than I did anything else in this season. It's also hilarious that Michael's development properties are completely filled with sex offenders. George Michael moved in and seems to not realize that the guys in the neighborhood like him because he looks young. Anyway, his relationship with Rebel falls apart here. Maeby has also taken the Fakeblock thing way too far and George Michael fires her as a result. Everything here is at least reasonably funny.

CINCO DE CUATRO I

These last three episodes are the culmination of the whole season. We've already seen that Lucille 2 winds up dead. But how did we get to that point? Well, we still don't have any answer about what happened to her, but we seem to know what happened to everyone else. This episode wasn't all that great because it was focused largely on two characters who haven't done all that much, Lindsay and Buster. Buster and Tobias had a particularly good interaction here. Maeby getting arrested was a great way to end this too.

CINCO DE CUATRO II

Tobias is such an idiot. This episode would have completely floundered without him though. Lucille's character has been stuck with one of the worst storylines, one that ties her to one of the worst characters (George Sr.) and has ruined most of her appearances in this season. For the episode to be about George Sr., Oscar, Lucille, and then separately Tobias? It's not exactly easy to make something like this worth watching. I felt like they did a good job though. I don't know how anyone could come up with a character like Tobias, and performing the character certainly seems like it would be even more difficult.

CINCO DE CUATRO III

What we have here is another episode where Michael is featured and it is actually good, as he fully completes his heel turn and replaces the rest of his family members as the most detestable Bluth. Apparently Ann has a child with Tony Wonder, and this makes Gob really made, and this leads to Gob and Tony Wonder having gay sex with each other. That's how we get brought back to the start of this season where Gob is feeding Michael a forget me now. Obviously he doesn't want Michael to have seen that. We also get the news that Rebel prefers George Michael to his dad, and George Michael punches Michael in the face. I loved this.

All in all, this season was probably a disappointment, but the last couple episodes really turned things around from my perspective.
 

909

909
Staff member
FAMILY LEAVE

Alright, so this is the last season and from what David Cross said, it really will be the last season as nothing is planned whatsoever. Plus, after what Jeffrey Tambor did, I don't see how they could do another season anyway. It's funny how George Michael and Michael were a terrible pairing for at least two seasons, but in these four episodes that was just not the case. I don't really know how to describe what happened, but it seems like Maeby will be a larger part of this season. Gob and George Sr. are also now paired up in a really pathetic manner. All in all, Michael deciding that he needs to bring the family back together is a good thing, and should lead to a lot of fun in the following episodes.

SELF-DEPORTATION

George Sr. and Gob were so bad in this episode, such wastes of life, that I really enjoyed watching their scenes together. It was a good crack up how all the Bluths decided they needed to flee to Mexico, all independent of each other without consulting with any of their family members. It's in the genes. None of this was bad, except I don't know where the Mr. F references were coming from or what they will lead to. I do hope that when we see Oscar in this episode, that's the only time all season. The reunion at the end was classic too.

EVERYONE GETS ATROPHY

The whole family, as well as some actors Tobias hired, now is in Lucille 2's apartment. So, one of the Bluths definitely killed her. I think. This whole scene was so hilarious, and it was such a good reminder of the first two seasons of this show. While this whole reunion is going on, Gob introduces a new girlfriend who was once the wife of John Beard. Speaking of Gob, he's looking quite leathery now. Also, over in Lucille's apartment, George Michael and Maeby are talking about Maeby being Lindsay's campaign manager, and trying to sabotage said campaign. This acting partner Tobias keeps bringing around is also hilarious. Also, George Michael and Michael finally interact with each other, and it doesn't go all that great.

AN OLD START

This episode is so weird that I don't know where to start. Maeby is now pretending to be an old woman so that she has somewhere to live, and Tobias wants to be part of the Bluth family so bad that he's sleeping in George Michael's old bed. I don't know how to describe the rest of this. It was funny even though it was unbelievably convoluted. George Sr. is also now more fucked up mentally than ever before. I don't know where all this is going, but it's pretty funny. Buster being jailed is a good usage of him too.
 

909

909
Staff member
SINKING FEELINGS

As good as this season started, it began to go downhill a little bit and this episode was the first example of that. George Sr. tries to kill himself, which is one of the good things here, but Gob has become a parody. It's getting to be too much. George Michael and Michael are still the right level of awkward, but it now seems like Lindsay is gone. Maeby has also now become what George Michael was in the first season of the show. She has been a large part of this season and is carrying the show. This Murphybrown thing is totally ridiculous too. I also liked the ending of the episode.

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

It seemed like a lot of the inspiration that went into the first few episodes of Season 5 simply just couldn't hold up as more episodes were produced. Gob's bit with Kitty was good, but it feels like this show has delved too far into the realm of ridiculous. The BBQ at the Howard's house was a bridge too far. It was all decidedly unfunny and took up a massive chunk of the episode. You know what one of the main problems is? They introduced all these characters for way too many episodes and most of them just take up attention and aren't as good as the actual cast.

ROM-TRAUM

The Mexican Romney's thing is undoubtedly, unquestionably my least favorite scene in the entire run of this show. And it was just one of the bad scenes in this show, there were quite a few that were awful, and all of them took place when these guys traveled to Mexico. That being said, once again, Maeby saves this episode to some extent. There's only so much it can be saved though. The way this season revolves around Mexico and the border wall is just pulling everything else down.

PREMATURE INDEPENDENCE

Is the Gob-Tony Wonder trick where this show jumps the shark? I dunno. Maybe. Maeby is the best part of this half-season and is hardly even in this episode, so I think you can tell from that how I felt about this episode. The DeBrie bits have also completely lost it and are no longer even remotely entertaining to me. I guess I would say that I'm glad there's only eight episodes left? To be fair, writing comedy is very hard. It's even harder when some members of the cast are only giving half an effort. Alia Shawkat tried to drag this season to greatness and it just isn't achievable. Hardly any of this was funny.



What it feels like is that they have enough material for about five or six episodes, but they know that fans want more, so they do it anyway and it means that a lot of shit just bombs.
 

909

909
Staff member
UNEXPECTED COMPANY

I don't know if they actually took a break between filming or if the episodes were just released this way. Anyway, the show takes a weird turn here. Things focused a lot on Oscar and Buster over the next few episodes. Gob is also trying not to be gay after his trick, but that's easier said than done. George Michael also now realizes that Anonymous has a problem with him, but this has taken so long to come up that I doubt it will turn into anything. Tobias is also becoming harder to watch because he has two hanger-ons with him. Michael is back working with his family too. This episode is a huge nothing and felt like a waste of time.

TASTE MAKERS

Little surprised that we got the Gay Mafia up in here. They want something from Gob that he must give, and it's commitment to the cause. This is sorta offensive and not very funny either. The Tobias stuff is also getting worse. I'm starting to get glad that this show is coming to an end. Maeby as the older lady is always funny though. Unfortunately, that's just about it. The rest of this show just isn't very funny anymore. I'm not good at explaining why it isn't, but it just isn't. There are too many characters who don't belong in the show at all who get time to speak. The only good thing in this besides Maeby's character was when Tobias said he put Jeff in his mouth.

CHAIN MIGRATION

Now that Tobias has brought back the Mrs. Doubtfire character, it seems that Maeby will hardly be able to pretend to be an old lady anymore. And that's not good for the remaining episodes in this series. It feels like we're getting way too far away from the important stuff, which is what happened to Lucille 2. I just don't care about almost everything else except for that.
 

909

909
Staff member
CHECK MATES

Man, it is actually depressing what this show has turned into. This show is supposed to be a comedy but they've put the characters in such ridiculous situations that the resolution of them just isn't funny. I will say though that this episode brought one of the most cringe worthy moments this show had in a really long time. Michael is such a damn idiot, and I enjoy that his son unwittingly screwed him over. Gob made me laugh a little bit at the end too.

THE UNTETHERED SOLE

The bits with the Bluths back in the past were slightly amusing, I will say that. Once again though, the best part is when George Michael fucks his dad over. To be honest I'm looking forward to finishing this tonight. I have basically nothing left to say because there's nothing left to talk about. The show is boring at this point and is not funny.
 

909

909
Staff member
SAVING FOR ARRAIGNMENT DAY

My reaction while I was watching this was one where my brain felt numb like I couldn't take this very much anymore. I'm being serious. I'm also serious in that I think everyone forgot this was supposed to be a comedy. In addition, other than Lucille and Maeby? It seems like nobody else gives a fuck about their performances whatsoever. I saw a thing the other day from David Cross that explains why this season turned out this way, and you sure can tell that the actors thought it was fucked up too.

COURTING DISASTERS

Finally here's an episode with a couple good laughs. Most of them are caused by Lucille's reaction to things. I also liked that Murphybrown knew how to write some code, possibly giving George Michael a way out of his bullshit FakeBlock lie. It was also good how these flashbacks were revealed to be part of a movie production, which helps ease away how bad the acting was. Buster being a murderer is certainly a thing though. I agree with that decision.

THE FALLOUT

This Dusty storyline was atrocious, but it did lead to one interesting thing in that Tobias knew the Bluths a very long time ago. Problem is, you can't just throw that out there without an explanation. Gob's testimony was good, and so was Lucille's. At the end of the day, what mattered in these seasons was what happened to Lucille 2. The rest doesn't really matter that much. Right here, they resolved all the bad plot threads, and we found out that Buster definitely killed Lucille 2. The Gay Mafia stuff is still really bad, bad enough that I have to note it. But this is a good way for the show to end, and it definitely is the end.

I will work on a summarization post similar to the ones for these other shows, and I'll post it tonight or tomorrow.
 

909

909
Staff member
Favorite Episodes: Afternoon Delight, Good Grief, Amigos
Least Favorites: Everything in season 5, basically.

Favorite Characters:
Maeby. I'm gonna do my best to explain why. I'm not the kind of person who judges things when they're at their best or at their worst, I judge based on the whole body of work. Maeby's character wasn't the best in the first three seasons, but at no point did the character have the low points of the last two seasons. Also, Lucille is in the same category, except her character was better than Maeby's in the original run.
Least Favorites: Michael is namely worse than all the rest. Oscar and Buster are probably next on the list in that order. I could never tolerate Michael at any point.

Favorite Guest Character: Tony Wonder. They almost ruined him but that character could never not be funny. Bob Einstein as the surrogate was another favorite.
Least Favorite Guest Character: Debrie is one of, if not the biggest factor in the show being ruined. The original run worked because bad guests would be shuffled off after a few episodes. In this case we were subjected to far more. Marky Bark was bad too.
Best Scenes: When Tobias thinks he's Mary Poppins and dives through a table, for one. Tobias trying to rob Maggie. Gob's coffin trick as well.
Worst Scenes: Pretty much everything Tobias was in during the last season. There are also lots of Oscar scenes that fit, as do those flashbacks at the end of season 5.

Season Ranking

2
1
3
4
5

Overall Rating

Like I said, I judge things as a whole, and the last two seasons had a LOT of bad episodes. 6.5/10.
 

909

909
Staff member
Deadwood-cast.jpg


DEADWOOD

This show has a reputation for having a lot of cursing, and in this first episode they certainly lived up to the expectations that I had. The first episode seems at first to have had a more self contained story than I expect the rest of the show will have. I also have to say that I don't really know anything about Western lore and history other than merely that some of these people existed. As such I don't know who will kill who or any of that, which should make Deadwood a hell of a lot more interesting. In any case, so much happened here. Calamity Jane was my favorite character in this first episode. Talk about a nutjob. Another thing I enjoyed was that this wasn't a hand holding kind of show. There are reasons that dead guys get fed to the pigs. There's reason to worry about Indians because the Americans are camping out on land that doesn't belong to them. But they don't straight out tell you that there's reasons for these problems, and that's something that a good TV show does. Can't wait to see where all this is going.
 

909

909
Staff member
DEEP WATER

Alright, so unfortunately I have now seen Nick Offerman's penis. Yep, that's the main takeaway here. I have been scarred. Anyway, the conflict between Swearengen and Bullock here is exactly what I watch these kinds of TV shows in hopes for. It has been too long since I've seen a scene like the one at the Gem Saloon. Lot of intensity. I don't know where all this is going, but this is a hell of a situation. The camp is effectively controlled by one guy even though there's a few hundred people there who didn't elect him, and ostensibly do not wish to be controlled given the time period in which this show takes place. I cracked up good when Swearengen made the calculation that he had to knife that guy to keep everything quiet, completely to that guy's surprise even though they're both morally corrupt individuals. Swearengen is just...more corrupted. Also, these scenes with the Doc, particularly the one with the whores...woof.


Now hopefully I can watch more than one of these every night.
 
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About halfway through Deadwood S1 is when it gets truly great, and S2 is when Timothy Olyphant really starts holding his own with the rest of the cast. This was when Olyphant was transitioning from "wild dickhead" character actor (Scream 2, The Girl Next Door) and into his trademark "good ol' sheriff" persona that carried him through everything up to Santa Clarita Diet (which was a riff on that persona anyway).

Calamity Jane just gets better. Her closing lines of S1 are some of the best in the series.
 

909

909
Staff member
RECONNOITERING THE RIM

I was initially going to say this episode was absurd, but the one before it was much more so. This show starts off with Swearengen killing a whole lot of people, in one episode after another. How long can this possibly continue? In this case, Brom has no work ethic and talks himself into getting murdered. Unlike the other murders, this one seems to be very poorly considered and there are too many trails to easily get away with this. We get into that in the next episode. But for now, most of this episode focuses on the murder itself, Bullock buying the lot, and the new saloon group from Chicago. Wild Bill was also quite a fucked up guy. I have quite a bit more to offer in the review below.

HERE WAS A MAN

There's a lot to talk about here. Most importantly is the murder of Wild Bill. I didn't see that shit coming at all even though there were plenty of indicators. I'm reasonably sure that the next few episodes will be all about hanging Jack. Of course this show is a drama and there might be some fudged details along the way. And that's all cool. One thing's for sure though. A man like that could never live long in this place, at least as the TV show presents it. It's also interesting how some people work. In the case of Alma Garrett you have someone who obviously feels like she married less of a man. That was my reasoning for why she was addicted to laudanum. And now, with the lesser man dead? It's time to find out why. Most likely this is due to her feeling like she's trapped in a hellhole such as this. She ain't wrong. I also loved how at the very fucking end someone finally killed an Indian. That doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean. Now natives are going to come into play too. I think.
 

Spaceman Spiff

Integral Poster
Cy Tolliver is, let's just say, quite the fucked up character.


If you think Al is ruthless, wait until you get a load of Cy. Definitely the most loathsome of the main characters.
 
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909

909
Staff member
THE TRIAL OF JACK MCCALL

Its been a fucked up week and fucked up weeks fuck up my entertainment viewing. This episode has a predictably fucked up conclusion, and overall it's a pretty dark effort. I believe it's this episode where we learn that Al and Cy Tolliver desperately want the United States to annex Deadwood. I have to admit I was confused as to why but the most obvious reason is that then all of Al's fucked up activities would have some amount of protection. This wasn't an amazing episode by any stretch but we learn a whole lot more about the characters. Bullock just can't help but try to be the sheriff everywhere. Trixie can't bring herself to keep someone addicted to drugs and would prefer to have a normal life. The reverend has seizures for some reason. Calamity Jane also can't help but try to help, and now she's rudderless. Not knowing anything about her life it seems this could be a problem. The introduction of smallpox seems like a big deal though. I laughed precisely because I didn't expect it.
 

909

909
Staff member
PLAGUE

Smallpox has fully arrived in Deadwood, as it is now no longer just one person to carry the disease. I cracked up at the position this leaves all the characters in. Now they're all working with each other, pushing towards one common goal, trying to eliminate smallpox at the camp. Effectively this leaves Al in charge as everyone basically lets him take control of the situation in the way he desires to. The newspaper stuff was pretty funny as it's anything but an actual journalistic story. Of course this takes up almost the entirety of the episode. In other stories, Bullock continues to look for Jack McCall and gets attacked by an Indian who he manages to kill. Also, I should mention my usage of Indian. It turns out that many American Indians prefer to be called exactly that. Not Native Americans. Native American is what the oppressors came up with to call them and is not a term I will use again. I'm not surprised that we saw our first living Indian in this way, but it's still weird. In any case, Charlie shows back up. Also, Alma Garrett pretending to be high was p. hot.

BULLOCK RETURNS TO THE CAMP

Bullock and Alma are gonna bang, right? Maybe I'm way off here. In any case, I presume we aren't going to see the death of Jack McCall, who was captured by Bullock and taken to Yankton. Regardless of the pox, Al is still trying to fuck Alma out of her gold claim, but she and Bullock will absolutely not acquiesce as they believe there's got to be some money in it at this stage. It also seems that our new arrivals are nowhere near as innocent as I'd initially believed. That was a hell of a surprise. Kristen Bell already has Dan Dority killing people for her. Charlie and Jane at Wild Bill's grave is a hell of a scene as well. This was the first time I glaringly noticed that these episodes don't end like they do in a conventional television show. More often than not it seems that they end very abruptly on a note you wouldn't think to be the end of the hour. I still didn't expect that Alma and Trixie's budding friendship would implode the way it did.
 

909

909
Staff member
SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN

This got delayed by a day because my internet went out the other night. Anyway, I watched this in halves so it didn't feel like a cohesive episode even though I'm sure it was. Trixie and Joanie appear to be in some trouble, having their own distinct but similar problems in that they're forced to depend on one person for everything even though they don't much care for them. This stuff with the two younger characters was big though. It serves its purpose on a lot of levels. Now we know Cy is definitely a very bad guy. At the same time we learn that the people in the camp are too grizzled to get fooled by these kinds of schemes, and that for young people to think they have the experience to take them on is really fucking stupid. Being experienced in this life carries positives and negatives, the vast majority of which are exhibited in this hour of television.

NO OTHER SONS OR DAUGHTERS

It now seems that Deadwood is on the verge of being annexed, and with being annexed comes a new set of issues. Namely they have to form something like a government that isn't actually a government. Al cannot be the head of this government for his own reasons, chiefly among them that he's a murderer wanted in Illinois. Bribes must be paid in order to do all of these things, and positions must be given out as well. At some point, there will be an election too. I legitimately forgot Bullock had a wife and child but this episode was keen to remind me of that. It was thrown in as a random line in a previous episode, but this pours water all over Alma and Bullock's budding(?) lust towards one another. Farnum as the mayor is a pretty good twist though. Cy accusing Eddie of being a pedophile is a whole other thing, but perhaps of most pertinence towards future episodes, Sol and Trixie have a potential thing going on. I bet Al will deal with that harshly.

MISTER WU

COCKSUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

These scenes with Al and Wu are all so funny, a true highlight of the show to this point. We have the introduction of a new character as well. Silas seems to be a representative of Al's lawyer, and maybe he'll stick around and maybe he won't. In any case Al feels like he needs to teach the guy the ropes and dammit that's exactly what he's going to do. Maybe, in the end, Silas will jump ship and work for Al. The scenes here with the reverend are all genuinely touching, and a point at which it seems like Deadwood is firing on all cylinders. He's losing his mind, as well as control of his body, and even though there's a feeling that he might do something heinous because of that, all I can do is feel sorry for the character. This might be the best episode of the show though. Jimmy throwing himself over Al's balcony after having shit himself was hilarious. Deadwood is also becoming a very crowded camp, as we're shown in this episode especially. This could go many different ways. In the end, I'm hoping that this season has an explosive finish.
 

909

909
Staff member
JEWEL'S BOOT IS MADE FOR WALKING

Neat title. This episode can best be described as one where Al downspirals into a bottomless pit of anguish and despair. I can't believe they gave the sheriff's badge to this fat goofball though. Al did not necessarily want this. He would rather have had Bullock do it because they have some level of understanding and Al would know his boundaries. This other goof, as we see in the next episode, has no morality or much of any intelligence at all. Hard to know where you stand with someone like that. Trixie having sex with Sol also helped push Al into this tailspin. Cy also wants rid of the Chinese, and then we have a scene where Al gives a monologue while getting blown. The kind of thing you can only find on HBO.

SOLD UNDER SIN

This was a fitting, and quite encompassing season finale. Bullock beats up the guy from Boy Meets World and goes off to bang his daughter shortly after. Silas kills the magistrate at Al's behest. Al puts the Reverend out of his misery. Bullock takes the badge of sheriff and starts the previously mentioned affair even though his wife is on the way. This is a wife he seems not to love. In the midst of all these things, we see Cy circling around Bullock like he knows Bullock is going to be a problem for him, like his gamble for that Chinese real estate has completely blown up in his face. The General here is also hilarious in continuing to tell Cy to fuck off when he tries to get a garrison to help him do the same thing. While there is a lot that happens here I feel like I'm at somewhat of a loss for words. Deadwood is an oddly optimistic show and the ending of this episode is intent on showing you that, but there's so much bad shit in this episode that these two things seem like they should be too at odds with each other. Except, of course, they are not. Where could this affair be going though? Given that this show isn't entirely historically accurate, I guess it could go anywhere.
 

909

909
Staff member
A LIE AGREED UPON

This is one episode that was split into two parts. Obviously, the reason it's split in two is because we have some characters that need to be introduced as well as our own need to see what was going on with the characters while the show was between seasons. This episode is both extremely funny and tensely dramatic. Al's position as the effective leader of the camp is dwindling. There are forces both present and not present yet that are slowly eating away at his power. This is not something he can handle. I found all of the events in this episode to be strong creative decisions. It also seems that Cy is going to be made into an even bigger piece of shit. But who knows. Bullock is more interested in fucking Alma than doing his job. Then his wife shows up and it's Skyler White. I laughed for a while over this.

Of course, Bullock's wife shows up while Bullock and Al are trying to kill each other after Al has insulted Bullock, but of course there are really other frustrations that have caused this argument. This leads to Sol and Charlie getting shot, and at the same time we notice that Charlie is Bullock's deputy. Man, I can't see him lasting long doing that. The hardware store scene is rough. Jane's introduction to this season is rough, funny, pretty much everything you'd want. All of this episode is rough. You know you fucked up your life when you think you're better off forcing Al Swearengen to kill you after he gets butt fingered by some whore. It seems like all the characters arrive at the exact right time to bolster the episode and make it into something special. At the end we're left with the question of whether or not Bullock actually loves his wife. It remains unanswered. This was the absolute best episode I could have asked for.
 

909

909
Staff member
NEW MONEY

It turns out that our newcomers to Deadwood, some of them anyway, have their own plans for getting rich. Garret Dillahunt is back and he's playing a new character dispatched to Deadwood by George Hearst. He seems to have nefarious plans, but Joanie's friend has an even better idea to milk him out of that money. She doesn't seem to care what happens in the process either. Most importantly is that Al is now entirely disabled. Whatever's wrong with his prick has affected his whole body to the point he can't function, and everyone's so scared of him that they don't break down the door until it's almost too late. He might die. His prick might fall off. Experimental surgery may be attempted. All these things are bad. Farnum scamming George Hearst out of money, and Wolcott using that in order to screw Farnum over worse, is a great use of the long con. The main thing in this episode is that Al is near death and that all this other stuff doesn't actually matter all that much. Al's storyline is suspenseful, interesting, important, and tense. It's what matters.

REQUIEM FOR A GLEET

Al is near death. Nothing much else in these two episodes actually matters. Sure, Wolcott is trying to fuck the camp all up and steal everyone's money, but Al is sick. Maybe Bullock doesn't have secret hate towards his wife after all though. There ain't a whole lot to say about this episode. Eventually they fix him, and the status quo is different. Mr. Wu might have a new rival from San Francisco. Ellsworth does a good turn warning Wolcott off Alma's claim. But really, most of this is Al screaming and people trying to find ways to keep him from dying. Good episode.
 

909

909
Staff member
COMPLICATIONS

Al is no longer near death, but he's not doing so great and he may have also had a stroke. Due to what's happened to him, he is now way behind on what's going on in camp and is no longer holding much of any power. Tolliver, this Wolcott guy, and the new county commissioner have taken over. At least, until this episode when one of them has their power entirely neutralized at the realization their power only exists when someone allows them to have it. Bullock is also brought back to Al by the realization the same applies to him. Alma is also pregnant by Bullock, unsure if she can carry to term, but the Doc believes she can. There's also the uh, the general. I ain't gonna say his name as they called it. But it's easy to see from the start that he was going to be woven into the episode and that his role would actually matter. What I didn't realize is that he'd still be in the show after this episode.

SOMETHING VERY EXPENSIVE

I shouldn't have laughed, and clearly I wasn't supposed to laugh, but the scene where Wolcott kills the madam who'd been stupidly setting him up for this the whole time was quite amusing. How could anyone possibly think that would work? But that's the point. Cy thinking he could blackmail Wolcott and it all turning out this way is probably not such a good thing. We also get treated to Bullock being extremely angry once again. I don't understand why in this case. This Isringhausen chick is also very shady. Al holds court with her and she makes a proposition that almost sounds like blackmail, and then Al gets to talk to my man Mister Wu once again. Of course, the way this episode ends, with Joanie sending all the whores out of the camp instead of having Wolcott dealt with, speaks volumes about her lack of power in relation to many of the other characters. At the time, I feel like the scene with Wolcott would have been some of the grossest television made to that point. But now, no big deal.
 
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909

909
Staff member
EB WAS LEFT OUT

So, this is where we're at after Wolcott has slaughtered most of the hookers at Chez Ami. All of them are now gone and Joanie is left with nothing to do. But this episode does feature a couple great scenes that deal with the Wolcott issue. Charlie beats the absolute fuck out of him. This leads to a showdown where it is then clear that nobody in the camp agrees with Cy Tolliver. EB is a useless mayor who doesn't get invited to this meeting, and he is highly irate. Because of how scummy EB is, these slights are always funny when included in any given episode. Bullock and Alma's scenes are still very awkward. The scene with Con and Leon pumping up the merits of Chinese hookers is gross. Al and Alma's big meeting for the first time was a huge highlight, something I've been waiting for. They held off for 19 damn episodes.

CHILDISH THINGS

It turns out Al and Alma wasn't the only big meeting I'd watch last night. Martha Bullock finally comes to call on Alma because the teacher fled the camp, and they have a very tense meeting where it is all clear at once that both involved know what's going on. Bullock is a coward and talks about leaving with Martha. Then, he gets told to just do whatever it he wants to do and he feels so shamed I believe I didn't see him the whole rest of the episode. It is also now clear Miss Isringhausen is a Pinkerton and that Al wants to set her up. We'll see how that goes! At the end of all this, Ellsworth has been asked to marry Alma and she hasn't accepted yet even though seemingly she will. Having a child out of wedlock in those days? Lol. Eventually Wolcott comes to kill Joanie and is beaten with a bottle. I get the feeling that won't be the last time this dude gets attacked. Everything I didn't mention was also awesome. Almost every actor gets their chance to shine here. Might be the best episode so far too. I could go on and on about this one.
 

909

909
Staff member
AMALGAMATION AND CAPITAL

This is a duo of episodes that takes place over one day. Of course, there's one big event in this episode. William gets stampeded by the horse and is almost certain to perish although we don't know that until the following episode. I don't know how to address anything else that happened because this was so surprising. Of course, Hostetler and the general immediately leave camp in fear they'll be lynched for their mistake. It's crazy how much this whole thing shakes the camp. All Tom Nuttall wanted to do was show the kid how he could ride the unicycle, and it ended like that. Prior to that, Bullock was about to be pulled in every which direction as he had too many things to deal with. Like the fat guy getting shot. Or Miss Isringhausen, the opening of the back, etc.

ADVANCES, NONE MIRACULOUS

Alright, so with what happened in the first episode, in this one we have continuations and resolutions to those things. Miss Isringhausen signed her leave from the camp, taking $5000 with her from Al as a payoff to leave him alone. Bullock and his wife are brought to the child's sick bed as he dies. Andy Cramed surprisingly returns as a minister. Charlie wants to leave camp. Jane is drunker than ever, and yet able to help with the fat guy whose been shot through the guts. Everyone else is rather paralyzed by the events that ended the previous episode, and tend to do much of nothing throughout the hour.
 

909

909
Staff member
THE WHORES CAN COME

This is the funeral episode. The funeral is what it is, I mean, I don't know what someone can say about a thing like that. It's pretty scummy how things work in relation to the event, though. Al still has to do his business. He has to keep Mister Wu and the San Francisco Cocksucker from killing each other. At the end, we see Alma except Ellsworth's marriage proposal. I assume that Mrs. Bullock is also not going to leave the camp at any point going forward. That being said I did laugh at the service because Andy was such a novice that he chose the worst possible Psalm to read. Cy also entirely disbelieving Andy's work is pretty good too, and it has a great payoff in the season finale.

BOY-THE-EARTH-TALKS-TO

I don't know the significance of the title in this case. We go from a funeral to a wedding, sham as it may be, Ellsworth being a good man as he seems to be. At least that is if you think he's a good man. He did ignore the murder of Alma's husband after all. This is not something lost on me. In any case, a lot of stuff happens here. The San Francisco Cocksucker is dead. Deadwood will be annexed to the Dakota Territory, which Al believes will make him tons of money. George Hearst arrives to camp. Knowing that he's fucked things up for good, Wolcott decides to hang himself. Hearst also buys EB Farnum out, and EB cannot tell him no. You don't tell George Hearst no. This is something I think will need to be remembered later when he comes for Alma's claim. Because he's gonna. Cy getting stabbed and that being left on a cliffhanger was something that would drive me crazy if watching the show at the time. For once, I think I do have a clue about where the show is going from here. George Hearst is gonna wreck shop.
 

Spaceman Spiff

Integral Poster
The title refers to George Hearst. From his Wiki article: "Hearst acquired the reputation of being the most expert prospector and judge of mining property on the Pacific coast."
 

909

909
Staff member
TELL YOUR GOD TO READY FOR BLOOD

I thought Al was just going to passively accept George Hearst's bullshit, but I was clearly very wrong. The break between seasons only lasted a few days or weeks, but certainly not very long. Elections are coming and Sol Star is running against Farnum for Mayor, while Bullock is running against some random for sheriff. Martha Bullock is still mourning her son, so it definitely hasn't been a long time. Now she's teaching school too. Bullock's meeting with Hearst goes so badly that he pummels Farnum in the middle of the hotel, and Al knows that both this isn't good and that Hearst is just not going to be as agreeable as previously expected. Much of the rest of the show is the same, but Hearst is setting up murders in Al's place and Al doesn't like it at all, and this leads to...

I AM NOT THE FINE MAN YOU TAKE ME FOR

If you thought that this season wouldn't be Swearengen vs. Hearst, this episode goes a long way towards correcting that. Al seems to think Hearst sent him a letter telling him he could kill someone. This ends with Al's hand being bashed into a pulp by Hearst and his henchman. This is the second time we've seen Al thoroughly bested by someone and it isn't pretty. While that's going on, everyone is giving their election speeches and it's clear who the people of the camp do and do not care for. That bit with Al and Hearst wasn't the worst thing in the episode though. At least I wouldn't say it was. The part where Alma completely buries her husband in favor of her former lover is much worse. The end of the episode is also very clear. Hearst will have that claim no matter what it takes. Another great moment in this episode is when Jane tells her story to the school kids. She's been isolated from the main story for the simple matter that it would be fictionalization, but they're fictionalizing George Hearst. I hope they bring her back into that fold somehow, but I doubt it.
 

AboveAverage484

Integral Poster
I just watched the season 3 premiere and I think it was said at some point that six weeks had passed since the events of the finale.
 

909

909
Staff member
TRUE COLORS

Hearst is a fucking scum. What else is there to say? The episode revolves around him and he does worse and worse things throughout. At the end, Cy has to become his bitch. And that's that. I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that this guy is going to kill Ellsworth or have him killed. The first meeting with Alma was interesting though in that Hearst could hardly control himself at that moment and thought he would actually be able to bully Alma the second time. I suppose he will have to do...other things. I also liked the ending where Aunt Lou was shitting all over this guy, but she still has to work for him and that's just how things are. Wu also comes back to camp and has another good scene with Swedgin. I also dig that this show introduced Brian Cox as a theatre guy.

FULL FAITH AND CREDIT

For whatever reason we transition to matters of property in this episode, matters which don't really have relevance to Hearst at first glance. Brian Cox's character wants to buy the former Chez Ami and build a different schoolhouse. Steve and Hostetler end the episode at a stalemate over the livery Hostetler left when he thought Bullock and others would lynch him. I hate Steve. He is a racist fuck. The episode features a lot of racist shit as a result. Not a big fan of this one. One thing I did like was how mad Dan got when Al said that he preferred Adams as his go-between with Hearst because he can no longer be around Hearst. But again, not that good.
 
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