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America's Least Essential Restaurant

Gert

Integral Poster
Real shame that Michael's Scott's favorite New York pizza place is closing.

I still have a hard time fathoming how any generic restaurants survive at Times Square.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
It's all stressed out tourists and poor service industry workers eating in Times Square. Makes perfect sense to me.

Thing is rents are so insane now that even GUY FIERI'S RESTAURANT CLOSED a few years back.
 

Precious Roy

hashtag trashbag
they should all close and die in a fire

If anyone ever reads this, if you go to NYC ever, go off the beaten path and wander into a strange place. I beg of you
 

SFH

Integral Poster
Man....I live in a culinary paradise. Imagine my shock and anger when out of state guests went to the touristy spots and ate at Krystal Burger instead of any of the 100s independently owned local cajun places.
 

tekcop

TSM's Finest
Staff member
Our old roommate left a Carrabba's gift card at our house over the summer. Ate there for the first time last week. I think it deserves a spot on this list. Who's out there asking for a more expensive Olive Garden?
 

SFH

Integral Poster
Have you seen the varying versions of the meme, "It's not my mouth, it's my face that needs deliverance."


This applies to me anytime someone suggests Olive Garden. I will make you regret it by ordering a bottle of cheap ass Pinot Grigio and not share it. Note: It's generally fringe friends/relatives that live in more undeveloped areas and don't get out to "town" much and want to reconnect.

I almost bear hugged a 3rd cousin when he suggested we bail on his grandma's birthday and go get hammered at a locally owned Mexican joint and NOT one of the chains (one of the insufferable aunts was starting shit and it'd been two hours).
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
https://twitter.com/MeWeFree_/status/1248298133337055233
In these divisive times, I think we can all agree on one thing. That anyone who answers anything other than Panda Express to this question is a god damn cop.
 

Baby Shoes

Baby Shoes
In the past I would've said Panda but the past handful of times I've had it, I've been sick for hours after. sbarro is not actively good but whenever I had it last, I don't think it was actively bad... just kinda there.
 

SFH

Integral Poster
/not a cop


I'd go Panda Express but I would defend Auntie Anne's had Anne not sold her stake in the company.

When I worked there 1998-2004 that was without fail the cleanest food establishment, corporate wide. The mission statement was very strict about cleanliness, it was stressed as important as customer satisfaction. We gave away so much free shit by protocol if someone had the slightest complaint.
Economically it worked as the unit cost of a single pretzel 98-04 was $0.30-$0.39 and then sold in the $2 price range. One batch of dough yielded 42 pretzels, and cost $1.79-$2.25 in that span. The profit was mind blowing for me at that age.

Auntie Anne sold the rights in 2010 and I've observed so many changes that have affected product quality, customer experience, and cleanliness. The franchises that my old boss still owns are clean. But when traveling, I do observe a decline at other locations.

But yeah, Panda Express is the right answer for me.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
I reread that poll again and it specified quick bite which IMO kind of implies snack. An Auntie Anne's might be a reasonable choice then. so I'm not going to flip you off if I see you next time I'm visiting my aging hipster brother in Brooklyn.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Restaurant I'm surprised is doing carryout/delivery only (and is available on GrubHub and Doordash)...Chuck E. Cheese.


Is anybody craving Chuck E. Cheese's mediocre pizza during these trying times!? It seems like it'd lose a lot of luster, eating it not surrounded by animatronic rats and arcade games.

Edit: JESUS CHRIST the new redesigned Chuck E Cheese is even more terrifying than the original.
https://twitter.com/ChuckECheese/status/1253701031625662468
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Souplantation is closing permanently, due to the Coronavirus.

I thought all of the references to all you can eat soup restaurants on Party Down were a joke but they did exist. Why? I'm not sure but they don't exist anymore, I guess.
 

Baby Shoes

Baby Shoes
There used to be a Soup Plantation about five miles from the house where I spent most of my formative years. I do not believe I ever went.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
The concept of a soup buffet sends a shiver down my spine.

Rows and rows of soups with the weird skin forming on top. I have a lot of sensory issues so smell of soup on its own can be disgusting but dozens of different kinds of soup all in one room.

*shudder*
 

Baby Shoes

Baby Shoes
For some reason I feel, at least at one point, those two were the same company. I remember Soup Plantationcbeing near the lower income mall in one direction and Souper Salad being in the Toys R Us lot near the more upscale mall on that side of town.
 

Brocklock

Integral Poster
Baby Shoes said:
For some reason I feel, at least at one point, those two were the same company. I remember Soup Plantationcbeing near the lower income mall in one direction and Souper Salad being in the Toys R Us lot near the more upscale mall on that side of town.

Did you ever do both on the same day and take the Souper Soaker challenge?
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Fact that Thrasher felt the need Souplantation closing deserved its own thread might solidify its status as America's Least Essential Restaurant.
 

SFH

Integral Poster
I'm throwing Copeland's under the bus since I found out they're in more states than just this one. At the risk of being the "I'm a vegan" or "I'm gluten free" loud person, I have a legitimate medical intolerance to dairy products that turns my stomach into liquid nightmares and lactaid pills aren't cutting it anymore. I can still front load with 4-5 Imodium tablets, but damn if that fails I can be in trouble.

Asked what would be dairy safe on the menu. The answer was, "Yeah...all of our dishes start with a butter base" (I'm assuming at this point dairy butter and not like vegetable oil margarine) so you're going to either have to order a salad and have them hold the croutons and cheese or order a steak and have them not butter it before cooking it. So, a salad or the most expensive thing on the menu, got it. Ordered the seafood platter and just swallowed 5 imodium (I always have some either in my pocket for accidental contact) and just dealt with not having to go for 3 days.

So any friends with lactose intolerance or outright anaphylactic allergy, they need to avoid Copelands.

As eye roll inducing as Texas Roadhouse's theme can be, they were above and beyond accommodating and worked with me carefully to ensure nothing went wrong in the kitchen and it was so delicious.
 

SFH

Integral Poster
My college town's Sizzler is the home to many memories for college aged me. Most are good. At the top would be the time the head basketball coach bought dinner for the entire basketball pep band and rented out the banquet room for us. He had his personal friend cook a giant pot of jambalaya for us. He rented the Sizzler banquet room and did not serve us Sizzler food. But fuck we had a great time with that guy, being a real dude and not the cup of coffee in the NBA guy that the school hired. (same dude would frequently find us in the Catholic student union for Thursday lunches and sit with us instead of other faculty/coaches. fucking grade A guy).

But to point of the post about the bankruptcy, the joint burnt down in the late 00s and no effort was made to rebuild it so honestly unless someone mentions Sizzler or that particular college coach, I forget it was a thing.
 

Laz

0101100101
My only attachment to the chain is the "barbecue rib night" quip from Ghostbusters II. That is my contribution to this discussion.
 
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