In Which I Review Movies Part II


Staff member

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020), directed by Patty Jenkins

Reason for Watching: I don't really need to fill this section out for once. It's obvious why.

Alright, so everyone was talking about how disappointing Wonder Woman 1984 was, and I do agree even though at the same time I don't think it's a bad movie. It's just not very good. Wonder Woman 1984 is obviously the story of Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), who is living in 1984 for the duration of this film. No shit, right. She now works at the Smithsonian, with her friend Barbara (Kristen Wiig). At some point, the museum is asked by the FBI to identify some stolen artifiacts, one of which is called the Dreamstone. The Dreamstone, as it turns out, actually does grant wishes. Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) is wished into being, and it also turns out that Barbara wishes some things of her own into being. One day, a failing businessman named Max Lord (Pedro Pascal) goes into the museum and sees the stone. Through Barbara, he is able to steal the stone and make it part of himself. His goal, basically, is to control the world through the powers given to him by this artifact. The thing is, these wishes have a cost. Or, you know, something.

This movie goes on for what seems like literally forever, which is probably the largest problem I have with it. In addition, that first act with minimal action stretches on for about an hour. It's not good viewing. But, man, how could a movie with Wonder Woman have such superficial use of the character and an inability to show anything that the character is actually good at doing. I understand why WB rushed to premiere this now. Word of mouth might have killed the fucking thing from jump. In some ways it already has. Movies like these usually come out and I usually hear about them for a long time, but because this went straight to streaming, or perhaps because of the quality or lack thereof, I've heard little.

This is of course not even close to as good as the first movie, and most of its strengths lie in Pedro Pascal's Trump-like character, who is on screen too much even though he's pretty good. It isn't that there aren't good things about this movie. They just aren't cohesively woven together with Wonder Woman herself. The third act is good in the sense that they did a pretty good job pulling everything together that they did a bad job of writing. Also, the overarching story of the film actually does work. It is bad to lie, bad to steal, and sends a message to some people that the gratification of all your wishes may not turn out all that well. There is a good script to be written around those tenets in the constraints of a superhero movie. This is just not one of those scripts.

I almost don't feel like saying anything about how stupid the whole rape controversy is, but I guess I have to because the internet went crazy about it and it would be weird not to say anything. It's dumb. This is supposed to be an 80s homage movie in some respect. The body swap is one of those homages. I don't remotely see this the same way that other people do, and I'm gonna leave it at that. At the end of the day, that's just something people talk about and focus on when they know a movie isn't that good. The fact is, a Wonder Woman movie should have been about Wonder Woman, she should have been in the film more, and she should have kicked more ass. Simple as that, no further analysis needed.


2020 Films Ranked

1. Bad Education
2. The Invisible Man
3. Bad Boys for Life
4. The Banker
5. The Gentlemen
6. Birds of Prey
7. Uncorked
8. Extraction
9. Big Time Adolescence
10. Sergio
11. The Lovebirds
12. Sonic the Hedgehog
13. The Call of the Wild
14. 7500
15. Come to Daddy
16. An American Pickle
17. Wonder Woman 1984
18. Lost Girls
19. Underwater
20. The Rhythm Section
21. The Last Full Measure
22. Spenser Confidential
23. Like a Boss
24. The Grudge
25. Dolittle
26. Fantasy Island