King Kamala's NXT Redemption Live Blog

King Kamala

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Dirty Curdy interrupts Maxine reading a bridal magazine. He doesn't want things to be awkward. He wants them the way they used to be. Maxine says that you can't manipulate her. He informs her that Derrick Bateman just lost an impromptu match. Even the castmembers of the show can't be bothered to pay attention. Maxine slaps Dirty Curdy and storms off. He smiles! He loves it when women play hard to get.

Tonight's fact: RAW was higher rated than any show on NBC that night. Let me look at the NBC schedule for '11-'12 season and it was The Sing Off (a cappella show hosted by Nick Lachey) and Rock Center with Brian Williams against RAW. Not exactly beating WCW in '98!

Yoshi Tatsu (who interestingly isn't identified with RAW or Smackdown. Just as a WWE Pro) Vs JTG is next.

Josh Matthews: Do you follow Yoshi Tatsu on Twitter?
Regal: No!
That exchange cracked me up for some reason.

Yoshi still has the weird mask but not the facepaint. Matthews talks about all of the great pictures of Yoshi Tatsu's action figures on his Twitter.

JTG wins a weirdly non competitve match after a Tamina distraction and rollup. Poor Yoshi.
 

King Kamala

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We don't get a dog bark but we get Regal shouting out Flo Rida for letting "Good Feelin" the theme for Survivor Series 2011.

"Good Feelin" and Trapt's "Headstrong" are two of the only songs that weren't made in house to be the theme for multiple WWE PPVs, I'm guessing.

We get a replay of The Rock's return to RAW in Boston. Ah yes. This was when he was trying to get BOOTS 2 ASSES a thing. Does anyone have a list of Rock's less successful catchphrases?

R-Truth and a ridiculously tanned Miz interrupt. I turned down a chance to go to this RAW. Think I made the right decision. Shoulda seen NXT in Bridgeport tho.

Rock threatens to kick John Cena in the mangina. The Rock talking about which parts of his promo are trending.

Cena threatens to bitchslap Rock. How Attitude era.

The Miz is pissed that him and Truth afterthoughts. And Rock and Cena immediately kick Awesome Truth's asses.

Kind of dumb that WWE spent months building up Awesome Truth as a huge heel force only to feed them to Cena/Rock and immediately disband them afterward. Just one of those things that kind of punishes the fans that watch during doldrum periods. As if nothing between SummerSlam and Royal Rumble matters that much. Which is kind of the case but you don't need to make it obvious.

JTG and Tamina brush past a very dorky looking Usos in suits and sunglasses. Derrick Bateman wants to know if anyone has seen Maxine. Dirty Curdy talks about how Maxine got touchy feely with him. Derrick Bateman wants to know where she was when he was defending her honor. Maxine says she was planning the wedding and storms out. Dirty Curdy tells Derrick Bateman to ask Maxine to give him his number.

Derrick Bateman gets on the horn with Teddy Long.
 

King Kamala

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It already happened and I was trying to forget about it. Thanks for bringing it up, you dickweed!

I watched but didn't note that T. Reks and Titus O'Neil had a very boring main event that ended with T. Reks awkwardly missing a move off the top and just standing there for a second before Titus O'Neil grabbed him and hit him with the Clash of the Titus.

Then Darren Young returned and beat down Titus and said that NXT this season was about RETRIBUTION NOT REDEMPTION! I guess he wanted to bring their series this season to 2-127.
 

King Kamala

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Putting on 11/23/2011

Amazing that they still bother with the opening credits at this point. Guess they're too lazy to make new ones. RIP (eventually) Jacob Novak.

Matt Striker promises a passion filled evening! Oooh la la! We are in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. A very passionate city tbh.

Severely awful music brings out Darren Young.

https://youtu.be/LzHsKPOZXEg
jfc. who thought it's be a good idea to combine "futuristic sounding" 60s keyboards with nu metal? Go to Hell, Jim Johnston.

Darren Young says NXT might as well be called the Darren Young Show. He has main evented PPVs! He wrestled John Cena.

Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins interrupt. Very blase sounding Regal: The surprises never end.

They're not impressed by Darren Young but they are willing to work together cause they both hate everybody. Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks hype up Darren Young's charisma...which really underscores how he really doesn't have that much charisma.

They're interrupted by Percy Watson and Titus O'Neil (The Daytime Players?). To drive my point home, they talk about how little charisma Tyler Reks and Darren Young have. Probably shouldn't make fun of someone's lack of charisma when they actually have no charisma. I mean Titus looks like the 2nd coming of Ric Flair in this group.

Titus was eliminated from Season 2 of NXT in Wilkes Barre and he told everyone that night, he'd come back to get a win.

A brawl ensues. Matt Striker stand up "I'm Matt Striker and I'm still the host of NXT" Great. Darren Young and Tyler Reks Vs The Daytime Players is our main event.

Matt Striker: What do you think of that, Master Regal?
Regal: I want to know why you have all of this power on NXT!

Angry, unimpressed Regal rules.
 

King Kamala

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Bate-A-Max are with Regal and Striker. Derrick Bateman kisses up to both of them.

Yoshi Tatsu is in his battle gear for the opener. He is opposing Westbrook, Maine's Johnny Curtis. Ah here comes the passion.
Bateman has signed a temporary contract with Smackdown.

Regal advises Bate-A-Max to avoid marriage. He has been married 16 times.

Both Regal and Striker want to sling the D at Maxine's Mom before the wedding.

Curtis points his butt on the apron at the commentary booth. Bateman is agog. Maxine storms off.

Derrick Bateman talks about trending on Twitter (Striker: That is huge!).

Yoshi Tatsu wins with the Diving Spinning Heel Kick. Bateman and Maxine both let themselves get distracted too much by that damn Maxine!
 

King Kamala

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Regal and Striker are pumped by The Rock's comeback match last Sunday at Survivor Series.

But wait. There is a commotion backstage.

Bate-A-Max are arguing! He has way too much to worry about Johnny Curtis creeping around. Maxine is pissed cause Derrick Bateman isn't helping with Thanksgiving dinner. He is debuting on Smackdown on Friday! Maxine says Teddy Long asked for both of them. He can't hack it on his own. Maxine says playtime is over.

Johnny Curtis: Is it me or was Maxine giving a serious look at my caboose?

Dirty Curdy says Maxine stared a hole through his heart and soul. Now there's that passion Striker was talking about. He gives us an early version of the Fandango hip swivel.

Bateman tells Dirty Curdy to stay away from Maxine. Curtis has got the point but he's gonna get Maxine and gives a lascivious look at the camera.
 

King Kamala

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The Usos are on the entrance ramp and do the siva tau. Regal LOVES IT when people show off their heritage. He's a man! He's a multicultural loving man!

The Usos get promo time. They represent all of the great Samoans wrestling past. The late, great Yokozuna (He's not Japanese!?), The Wild Samoans, "The Samoan Bulldozer" UMAGA, and their dear old dad Rikishi.

Uce is short for brother! That's why they picked that name! WWE has been great to the Samoan bruddas over the year. They start the Uso chant. Striker chants along.

JTG and Tamina interrupt. Tamina isn't gonna be their friends just cause of their family history. She is a strong woman and she got a sexy man in JTG.

Jimmy Uso Vs JTG is on. Regal says if his daughter dated JTG he would set all of his reptiles on him. Oh man why did Regal never carry a reptile to the ring?

Regal gets randy about Tamina's lovely calves. Striker was right about this being a PASSIONATE SHOW!

Striker talks about how Usos are next in line for Polynesian greatness. Tonga Kid, Haku, Rocky Maivia. Not many Tonga Kid shoutouts on WWE TV past 1985.

Regal wants to see Rikish bring their dad out to do the Too Cool dance.

Regal claims JTG stands for "Jimmy The Gimmick" Cagematch Database claims it stands for Just Too Good.

Regal: The good thing about JTG is that is he's always trying.

I love Master Regal half assedly trying but not really trying to put these guys over.

Jimmy wins with a Superfly Splash.

Lord Steven wants Tamina to dump JTG for him.
 

King Kamala

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Main event time. Daytime Players Vs Tyler Reks and Darren Young

Regal: Is Tyler Reks as dirty as he looks? He's a dirty little git!

Regal tells Curt Hawkins to bugger off when he tries to grab a headset.

Regal hypes up WWE 2k12 and how ripped he is in the game.

Regal is actually great talking about psychology and precision of moves but it is wasted on jabrones like the Season 5 cast of NXT. Raw's commentary team was at its all time low I think in 2011 and I don't even friggin know who commentated on Smackdown during this era.

Striker and Regal talk about these guys' WrestleMania prospects. like these guys will make the WrestleMania card.

Actually, maybe PTP were in that preshow four corners tag titles match at WrestleMania XXVIII but no one really counts those.

(Wikipedia tells me they weren't anyway but it did include multiple castmembers of this season).

Darren Young gets pin on Titus O'Neil with the Gut Check and we hear his awful theme music again.

Striker talks about how Titus is having difficulty breathing but the pain of the disappointment will linger longer.

Less boring proto PTP beefing and more Dirty Curdy and Regal being thirsty for Tamina Snuka next episode, please.
 

King Kamala

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Putting on 11/30 before beddy bye.

Show opens with Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. Josh Matthews talks about them looking to make a name for themselves in NXT. Our main event tonight will be a Triple Threat where the winner gets a match on Smackdown. Presumably to get squashed by Ted DiBiase Jr or something.

Percy Watson's new intro music startles Josh Matthews and Matt Striker a bit. Percy Watson Vs T. Reks is our opener.

Matt Striker sounds way absurd talking about how Percy Watson chose WWE over the NFL cause the athleticism and pay are WAY BETTER. Curt Hawkins thankfully calls him an idiot.

Percy Watson wins with a dropkick as T Reks is coming off the top. Just a regular ass dropkick. Must be the last time a dropkick won a match. Not even a very good dropkick.

We see that the Triple Threat is between Titus O'Neil, Derrick Bateman, and Darren Young. If Darren Young has main evented PPVs and WRESTLED JOHN CENA! Why is he jacked up to get squashed on the B show?
 

King Kamala

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Johnny Curtis hits on Kaitlyn and invites her on his tour bus. Maxine walks in and CAN'T BELIEVE Johnny Curtis would settle for little girls like Kaitlyn. He doesn't know how to treat a real woman. Dirty Curdy tells her that Kaitlyn is the best that he could do and sticks his fingers in Maxine's mouth before walking away. Derrick Bateman walks in and immediately makes out with her fiancee. BUT WAIT! Derrick Bateman's Mom is there. Bateman lets the ladies in his life know he's gotta prepare for the main event.

Mama Bateman says if Maxine harms one curly hair on her son's head, she will pay. I wonder if this is Derrick Bateman's legit mom. I don't see WWE hiring an extra for this show but who knows?

Yoshi Tatsu and Trent Barreta are no friends apparently. Striker and Matthews talk about them being a fun loving team. They're just happy to still be getting a paycheck at this point getting a chance to compete in WWE. They're facing the odd duo of Tyson Kidd and Johnny Curtis.

Heels get mild upset win when Curtis hits Falcon Arrow on Yoshi Tatsu.

We see a replay of a Piper's Pit With John Cena in full. Piper encourages Cena to turn heel. Cena knows he can't please everyone. He's just gonna be the best person he can be. He's met with 3 Make A Wish kids today and invited a bunch of troops to the show. Old Man Piper says Cena is in denial and needs to be honest with the fans. He slaps Cena and Cena sulks off. I guess this was part of the aborted John Cena heel turn that was supposed to happen before WrestleMania XXVIII.
 

King Kamala

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Maxine is actually in in ring action this week against Smackdown's Alicia Fox. I thought "WWE actually pays better than NFL and they are much better athletes" was dumbest thing Striker would say this episode but he tops it by claiming that he think Alicia Fox looks NOTHING like Rihanna.

Also Alicia Fox has been with WWE for almost 10 years? Damn.

Wait. Wikipedia tells me she actually debuted 3 and a half years before this. So Alicia Fox has been with WWE for OVER 10 years!? She might be up there for least notable 10+ year run in WWE history.

Alicia Fox gets the win after Derrick Bateman and Mama Bateman walk out and distract Maxine.
 

King Kamala

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Main event time. Darren Young's theme music is really jarringly bad. I cannot emphasize this now.

Matt Striker compares Darren Young to LeBron James. Cripes. He is on fire this episode with bad takes.

Another match portraying Titus O'Neil as the Hulk Hogan/John Cena of NXT. Josh Matthews calls him Titus Young at one point.

Although just as I typed that Derrick Bateman gets cheap win after Darren Young hits Titus O'Neil with neckbreaker on the apron. Were apron moves already a big thing in 2011?

Derrick Bateman wants to bring out his fiancee Maxine. They're going back to Smackdown!

JTG and Tamina interrupt for some reason to tell Bateman that Maxine is on a date with Johnny Curtis. DUH DUH DUH

Show ends with Bateman seething. Pretty blah episode. Would've rather seen more antics with Derrick Bateman and his Mom then replay that entire Piper's Pit with Cena.

Cagematch Database tells me that Bateman didn't get a Smackdown match until two and a half months after this when he was cannon fodder in random battle royal. Makes perfect sense considering this entire season of the show.
 

King Kamala

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12/7.

Preview says that Johnny Curtis and Derrick Bateman are settling the score in the main event so this should be a winner.

Show opens with Usos doing their entrance and Josh Matthews explaining the Siva Tau. The lovely Eden Stiles is our ring announcer. I don't remember her seeing in NXT before this.

Speaking of the future Mrs. Cody Rhodes, we are in Jacksonville for this week's episode.

The Usos trying to rev up the crowd but are interrupted by Derrick Bateman. It is no time for fun and games. Last week, Maxine left the arena with Johnny Curtis. (Possible future AEW stars) Jimmy & Jey Uso tell Bateman to calm down. They're not sure why their cousin Tamina and her thug ass boyfriend JTG would lie to him but The Usos saw Maxine leave by herself.

Derrick Bateman sulks backstage as Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins enter. Curt Hawkins has been cleared for competition thank god.

Josh Matthews points out you can tell the difference between the Usos cause Jey has a tattoo on his chest

Matt Striker brings up coming up in the wrestling biz with Curt Hawkins. He was a humble man in their hungry years but now he is a doofus who screams out his name during the middle of matches.

Matt Striker and Josh Matthews talk about the University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors football team for some reason. Josh declares Colt Brennan the greatest player to ever play for University of Hawaii.

Striker says that the Usos influence is breaking through to the mainstream. Last week a San Francisco 49er did the Siva Tau.

Um. I'm pretty sure the Usos didn't popularize the Siva Tau, Striker, ya dingus.

Really have no idea why Usos didn't get a tag team titles run for another 2 years after this show. They were already pretty good and roster of tags was even more depleted than it is now.

Anyway, this perfectly solid tag team wrestling as Usos are good and Curt Hawkins is rock solid tag wrestler and T Reks isn't enough of an oaf to ruin this. Usos win with Superfly Splash.

Striker talks about the importance of familial bonds. He also wants the Siva Tau on ITunes.
 

King Kamala

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Backstage, Bateman interrupts Tyson Kidd taking a selfie and asks if he has seen Maxine. Tyson hates her and has no idea where she is!

Bateman walks up to Trent Beretta and Justin Gabriel and they haven't seen her either.

He thinks he sees Maxine but it is Mrs. Perez, his future Mother in Law. Mrs. Perez thinks her daughter doesn't know what to do with a man like Derrick Bateman. Dirty Curdy walks in and Mrs. Perez slaps her future son in law. Dirty Curdy doesn't get it but wants Bateman to calm down. He wasn't with Maxine last week...cause he slept with Derrick Bateman's Mom :eek:. Bateman charges at Dirty Curdy but Beretta and Justin Gabriel pull them apart.

Striker wonders if Curdy really is romantically linked to Mrs. Bateman then says Johnny Curtis Vs Derrick Bateman is our main event.

The Daytime Players come out for tag action. They're facing JTG and Darren Young.

Matt Striker thinks Maxine's mom is INCREDIBLY alluring. He compares her to Jackie Stallone of GLOW and Josh Matthews tells him to can it.

JTG does a PRETTY GOOD neckbreaker tbh.

Heels win after a Tamina distraction.

A bummed Titus O'Neil grabs the mic. He has been on this show for 39 weeks. I've watched 39 episodes of this garbage!?

https://youtu.be/KcKJE6aYamc?t=13

Titus O'Neil has never worked harder in his life only to lose to a selfish jerk like Darren Young. Titus O'Neil has two kids like everybody in the crowd (uh, not everyone in the WWE Universe has kids, Titus. I don't...er, at least as far as I know). Next week, he wants Darren Young to face him like a man. Titus O'Neil wants to show that he is true breakout star this season.

I love how Titus still kind of thinks this is a competition months after WWE dropped that aspect.
 

King Kamala

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Josh Matthews thanks Kasabian for providing the theme to TLC 2011, "Days Are Forgotten", featuring LL Cool J. I forgot about Kasabian. They did a song with LL Cool J? LL Cool J was still recording music in 2011!?

Announcers are kind of treating Derrick Bateman as a babyface. They compare Dirty Curdy to a character on How I Met Your Mother. 2011!

Striker doesn't want to see any arm drags from Bateman. Curdy talked about fucking his mom. Punch him in the face or throw an elbow! He wants to see reckless abandon.

We actually get a commercial break during the match which seems like semi-rarity. DUring the break, Derrick Bateman pushed away some medics.

Matt Striker and Josh Matthews talk about how WWE needs a resident therapist. Foreshadowing Dr. Selby a year or two after this!

Creepy Dirty Curdy is in Derrick Bateman's head. Striker ponders Mrs. Perez watching this with Maxine and counseling which one her daughter should pick.

Crowd just seems like they're arbitrarily booing. These guys are no Hangman Page.

(Hangman Page Vs Dirty Curdy is lowkey a dream match)

Bateman wins with the move that would become the One Percenter. Matthews buries the move as a lackadaisical finisher.

Maxine storms out and yells at Derrick for trying to fuck her mom. THE ENGAGEMENT IS OVER!

Striker wants a date with her. Josh Matthews doesn't understand how Matt can joke at a time for this. Poor Derrick Bateman. The saga rolls on next week. Dirty Curdy flashes a creepy smile.


***** episode.
 

King Kamala

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Firing up 12/14. Preview says we're getting a Dirty Curdy- Percy Watson main event. EPIC.

We're in Raleigh, NC. Middle aged guy sticking his tongue out at the camera. Guy in Hatchetman hoodie. THIS IS HARDY COUNTRY!

Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins open the show. Every week the show opens with some rookies but this week, they are letting the pros do it. Matt Striker hems and haws at them miss pronouncing North Carolinians.

They are interrupted by Trent Berretta and Yoshi Tatsu. Trent has a mic. He calls them out for being grumpy pants. Nobody is watching their web cartoon.

Yoshi Tatsu tells Tyler Reks to wash his hair.

A brief "Wash Your Hair" chant breaks out and that is most lively crowd has been in months.

Weve got ourselves a match. Trent and Yoshi Vs Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. This actually could be pretty good.

Arena is super dark and it barely looks like anyone is there. Must be because the Hardys weren't in WWE during this period.

Wonder what Tyler Reks is up to these days.

He is on Twitter and I guess he is riding motorcycles.


Good for him. Although problematic for him to still be rocking the dreads in 2019 tbh.

Trent gets the win with a fluke rollup! How are Hawkins and Reks gonna explain this one?

Next we've got an EXPLOSIVE EDITION of Percy Watson's Showtime.
 

King Kamala

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Percy Watson awkwardly shimmies down the aisle in business casual wear.

We get a video recap of Bate-A-Max and Dirty Curdy's Love Triangle.

Percy is FINALLY GONNA get to the bottom of this. Josh Matthews likes that Percy Watson guy.

Derrick Bateman is out first and him and Percy share very unenthusiastic fistbump. Percy says HE HAS GOT TO KNOW HE HAS GOT TO KNOW! IT ISN'T SO! Bateman didn't hook up with Mrs. Perez. Anyone who would think that is insane.

Dirty Curdy is appalled by Bateman calling that insane. DIRTY DEREK LEFT THE SHOW WITH MRS. PEREZ! Derrick Bateman can't believe everything JTG says...

WAITAMINUTE JTG IS RIGHT HERE! Why did JTG tell Bateman that Maxine left with Johnny Curtis? JTG says Dirty Curdy paid him off to say that and then sulks off.

Maxine storms out and says she is tired of both of them. Those guys are too outspoken and too insane. She wants both Bateman and Dirty Curdy to shove it where the sun don't shine.

Bateman says Maxine is so crazy that he can't see why he WOULDN'T want to make her his wife.

Dirty Curdy tells Bateman he blew it and it's over with Maxine. Bateman punches him in the mush.

Percy laughs at him and Curdy tries to deck him but Percy kicks his ass.

Matt Striker lackadaisically stands up and reminds us he hosts NXT. If he these two want to fight, they will do it in the main event. The seriousness of this announcement is undercut by Josh Matthews openly laughing at Striker's announcement. He doesn't get why Striker is in charge.

Possibly the most iconic segment in WWE history.
 

King Kamala

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Boy, me wondering how the Usos would fare as singles wrestlers a few episodes ago has really paid off as it seems like I've gotten a lot of Usos singles matches since I asked that. Jey Uso Vs JTG is next.

Matt Striker says rational women are like unicorns. Shaddup Striker.

Then he talks about etymology of Jimmy & Jey saying "uce". It means brother or bro. Shaddup Striker x2.

Jey Uso wins with a superkick (Hmmm).

Really says a lot about the state of JTG's career at this point that he has lost multiple matches to third tier tag wrestlers.

Tamina consoles him by mouth kissing him. Jey dry heaves.

Matt Striker plays guitar in his office. There's a framed photo of Ronald Reagan next to him. CAN THIS GUY GET ANY WORSE!?

A sad Titus O'Neil walks in and apologizes to Matt Striker for letting his emotions get the best of him. He's supposed to be an example for the youths of today. Matt Striker asks him if he wants to be excused from tonight's challenge but Titus says he needs to do this.

Wait. Why are we doing a challenge again?

This week Future WWE Title #1 Contender :'( Kofi Kingston visited the troops.

RAW Rebound. A Recap of the 2011 Slammys. Featuring CM Punk showing a tribute to John Laryngitis set to Stan Bush's "The Touch". Cena blathers about his match with The Rock at WrestleMania XXVIII. But Cena had to get past The Rock's former stablemate Mark Henry on Slammy Night. He might get inducted to the Hall of Pain before he wrestles The Rock. But wait THEDEMONKANE showed up and attacked Cena. HOW WILL THIS CHANGE THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA!?

It didn't but somehow Zack Ryder's career was ruined in process

Backstage, Bateman confronts Maxine. LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD BUT HE IS WILLING TO GO TO WAR! HE WILL MARRY HER BEFORE THE END OF THIS EPISODE!

Dirty Curdy wants her to stop playing mind games and plants one on her. Maxine freaks.
 

King Kamala

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Our main event is up. Johnny Curtis Vs Percy Watson . Striker talks about Curtis just getting a good luck kiss (SHADDUP) and toiling on the New England indy circuit.

WRESTLING AT THE STEVENS AVENUE ARMORY IN FRONT OF A PUBESCENT KING KAMALA IS NOT TOILING!

Striker brags about the pictures of Ronald Reagan, Neil Pert, and Mark Messier in his office. Name a more iconic trio...

Dirty Curdy wins with the Falcon Arrow.

I guess our Challenge is going to be the actual main event.

Titus O'Neil wants to apologize to his sons for last week. He is trying to be a role model and good example for the WWE Universe.

Darren Young thinks Titus O'Neil is just a phony ex football star. Titus says Ron Simmons, Ted DiBiase Sr, and The Rock were ex football players who did PRETTY GOOD in wrestling. He's not gonna let Darren push his buttons.

Darren calls him a failure and Titus tackles him and throws him out of the ring. He has forced Titus to change his beliefs and question his morals.
 

King Kamala

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12/21/2011. 2nd to last episode of the year. And we still have about six months or so of this show left.

was 12/21/2011 the day everyone thought the world was gonna end or was the 12/21/2012? Either way, assuming it might get referenced on the show.

except this show was internet only so it might've been in a time void. Did anyone here actually watch these things live? If so, please write a six paragraph below, explaining how this series changed your life.

We open with a sulking Derrick Bateman entering for our opener.

Josh Matthews: In the search for an NXT rookie, a love triangle has emerged.

We see footage from last week of Maxine telling Dirty Curdy and Derrick to scram then Dirty Curdy getting his ass kicked by Bateman and Percy Watson.

Derrick Bateman has a microphone. It's been 127 weeks since he has been on NXT Redemption. He hasn't won yet but he has been on Smackdown twice and found love. Soon, he will get the Max to his Bate-a back.

Dirty Curdy comes out and he says Matt Striker has a sick and twisted mind like him. So Dirty Curdy and Bateman are gonna have a tag team match together.

Striker says he isn't anything like Johnny Curtis but he wants the rookies to learn how to work together.

Curtis shows pictures of him smooching Maxine and say they should put that all behind them in the spirit of Christmas. He offers Derrick Bateman a handshake but Bateman just glowers.

They're facing The Usos. Striker says this season is all out by redemption and Johnny Curtis and Derrick Bateman are going to have to learn to overcome their differences if they want to get a shot from John Laurinitis and Teddy Long.

Matt Striker reminds us that Maxine DID NOT kiss Johnny Curtis consensually. He forced himself on her. Thanks for the clarification. Progressive.

He also says he does the Siva Tau before his rec league hockey games. NOT progressive.

Derrick Bateman does not want to team with DIrty Curdy and walks out on him.

The Usos win with the diving splash.

Backstage, Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins attack Yoshi Tatsu and lock him in a storage closet. HOW DARE HE SUGGEST TYLER REKS WASH HIS HAIR!?

Curt Hawkins Vs Trent Berretta is next!
 

King Kamala

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Josh Matthews tells us to go to WWE.com to get all of info on Daniel Bryan becoming new World Champion.

Pffft. That guy will be back in ROH in a year.

Trent Barreta Vs Curt Hawkins might actually be good. Matt Striker talks about their long storied history. Were they the Dudebusters together?

No, Curt Hawkins was in the Gatecrashers and I guess them and Dudebusters had feud on Superstars a year or two before this. Someone please a write a six paragraph essay on the Gatecrashers-Dudebusters feud.

Striker is LIVID that Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins have badmouthed Arn Anderson on their webseries. HOW DARE THEY!? Arn Anderson should be in the Hall of Fame. Striker wishes that Arn, Goldust, and Jamie Noble would teach these damn ingrates a lesson.

I'm willing to bet Goldust sqaushed Curt Hawkins in several Main Event matches in last 2 or 3 years.

Trent has caught on with the WWE Universe. He regrets picking Trentylocks as his Twitter name but he will keep it anyway. The WWE Universe loves this exciting high flyer who is willing to put his body on the line.

CURT HAWKINS ACTUALLY WINS! With a modified swinging neckbreaker that Matt Striker thinks he'll have a dumb name for next week. I wonder how many matches Curt Hawkins has won culmulatively in all of his WWE runs.

Next week. Kaitlyn returns to take on the lovelorn Maxine.
 

King Kamala

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Matt Striker has unsuccessfully asked Kaitlyn out three times. She's his favorite diva.

Striker and Matthews talk about how much skill Maxine has "between the yellow ropes". *eyeroll*

Maxine is in Lucha Underground!? Shows how much I pay attention to LU and Maxine's career.

Derrick Bateman comes down to try and talk sense to Maxine and Maxine gets distracted and rolled up.

Bateman tries to reason with Maxine. He's a guy and guys do dumb stuff. Dirty Curdy wallops Bateman out of nowhere.
 

King Kamala

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Percy Watson is out next. He is getting a big opportunity as he is facing WWE Superstar Tyson Kidd.

I'm guessing Tyson Kidd appeared way more on NXT Redemption than he did on Smackdown! during the past nine months. He even had the storyline where he broke Yoshi Tatsu's action figure!

We will see if Tyson Kidd can channel his mentor Bret Hart and get a decent match out of an athletic but uncoordinated goof.

This is actually probably the best singles match of Percy Watson's career. I'm not going to watch every Percy Watson match to find out though for sure.

Tyson Kidd wins with a flying elbow drive.

Our main event tonight is Titus O'Neil Vs JTG

Striker & Matthews talk about how Holidays are about kindness and generosity. There is nothing like that on NXT Redemption.

They are pretty generous in the amount of episodes this is taking.

We get John Cena talking to the troops at Fort Bragg. The Tribute to the Troops lost their luster when they just started doing military bases in the US. Going to Fayetteville, North Carolina is harrowing but not like going to Iraq levels harrowing.

Oh boy. A Nickelback performance. Hadn't the troops suffered enough?
 

King Kamala

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Backstage, Derrick Bateman, Dirty Curdy, and Maxine fight in Matt Striker's office. Matt Striker wants to know why the hell they are fighting in his office. He is a grown man and he wants Derrick Bateman and Johnny Curtis to settle it like men. Next week, they are fighting one on one.

Darren Young in a sling is here to guest commentate. We see footage of Titus pummeling him at the end of last week's show. Darren Young thinks TITUS SHOULD BE IN JAIL but he knows Titus is a single father so he didn't press charges. Darren is wearing a leather jacket and shirt that makes him look like he should have a supporting role in Dolemite. He has the acting ability of somebody in a Rudy Ray Moore movie too.

Josh Matthews wonders how someone can hate someone as charitable and smart as Titus O'Neil.

Striker reminds us that no one is legally responsible for anything that happens in a WWE ring. Tell that to Chuck Austin.

Titus wins with the Clash of the Titus. Poor JTG can't catch a break.

Darren Young attacks Titus O'Neil. He never had a broken arm. Sonuvabitch.
 

King Kamala

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12/28/2011. Final episode of the year. Preview promises a Nexus battle between Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel. I AM THERE>

I forgot twinkly eyed Conor O'Brien in opening credits.

We are from Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis. Baby Shoes, what member of the 2011-12 Pacers do you think would most likely be in attendance at a WWE taping? Roy Hibbert? Born Ready?

Matt Striker starts off the episode. In 3 weeks, we'll be celebrating the 100th Episode of NXT! 78 of them have been this season. Matt Striker reminds us that current World Champion Daniel Bryan started off on NXT! Then some super fake applause noise comes on. Striker wants to welcome back a beloved NXT alum Justin Gabriel.

Striker asks him about life on Smackdown. I'M JUST A ONE MAN BAND! Heath Gabriel saunters out and says he hasn't done JACK since he left this dang show. Heath Slater says he has carried Justin Gabriel the whole time. He dragged Justin Gabriel home after he drank too many appletinis. He is the one man Southern rock band. Gabriel wants to know how Heath can be a one man band if he doesn't play any instruments. Heath will play some instruments on his head. Striker says in the spirit of the holiday season and with the 100th episode coming up, he wants to see two season 1 stars go at it!

Josh Matthews reminds us that Heath and Justin Gabriel are Former Tag Team champions. I couldn't have identified which NXT members were tag team champs if you offered me $100. Heath and Justin were THREE TIME Tag Team Champions. Also their last title run ended eight months before this show but it basically may have felt like eight years. 2011 felt like one of the longest years in WWE history. Not just cause of this show.

Matt Striker does a where are they now on various ex NXT castmembers. Remember Jamie from NXT Season 3? Runs a smoothie shop and has a line of premium rice cakes available at Whole Foods.

Matt Striker: Remember Eli Cottonwood?

Josh cuts him off before Striker can tell us what Eli Cottonwood is up to these days.

Striker says Justin Gabriel was the only person who accepted his invite to this episode.

Matt Striker: Do you have a favorite season of NXT, Josh?
Josh Matthews: NO!

This show is wrestling purgatory haha

These guys are working a house show opening match pace.

Striker attempts a Christopher Walken impression. Forget purgatory, this is wrestling hell.

Gabriel wins with the 450 off the ropes instead of the turnbuckle. Heath Slater knew that Gabriel stood on the turnbuckle all contemplative when he tried to do that move. He scouted it well so Gabriel had to change his game plan.

RAW Rewind has Johnny Laryngitis dressing up as CM Punk in CHicago. He made Punk fight Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, and Mark Henry in a gauntlet match. If any of the guys pinned Punk, they'd get a title shot next week but if Punk won, he got to fight Johnny Laryngitis. Ziggler got the pin halfway through the gauntlet. That doesn't seem very dramatic. But then again neither was this Punk-Ziggler-Johnny Laryngitis feud.
 

King Kamala

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Backstage, Derrick Bateman confronts Maxine. He misses their sweet sweet love. Maxine says their relationship consisted of pillow fights and repeated viewings of Titanic. Tonight, Derrick Bateman faces Johnny Curtis in the main event and after, he will get their love life on track. He plants one on Maxine then she slaps him as Dirty Curdy creeps in the background.

Darren Young is at the commentary booth for Percy Watson Vs Tyson Kidd.

Darren Young hates guys who have accomplishments outside of wrestling. This is all about Darren Young. 2012 is gonna be his year.

It'll be his year if having his manager get fired for making a rape joke live on air counts as it being your year.

Darren Young jumps up on the apron and causes Percy to get distracted and get pinned by Tyson Kidd.

After the match, Darren beats down Percy Watson! Hey that's Titus' Best Friend! Titus is gonna be upset when he hears about this at the tailgate for whatever third rate bowl game the 2011 Florida Gators were in!

Backstage, Aksana confronts Maxine. She found an e-mail Derrick Bateman sent to Teddy Long talking about how Maxine was riding his coattails and dragging him down. DAMN RUSSIAN HACKERS
 

King Kamala

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Josh Matthews makes a joke about Matt Striker's dick pics.

Speaking of filth flarn, time for Derrick Bateman Vs Dirty Curdy.

Curdy is wearing some skeleton trunk. Perhaps inspired by La Parka.

Maxine comes out and brushes off Striker and Matthews.

Bateman gets win with roll through with fistful of trunks but is it enough to win back Maxine's love?

Maxine just sulks off. Striker flips out WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS!? THEY NEVER TELL YOU WHAT TO DO!

Maxine slaps Dirty Curdy then kisses him.

Striker: WHY DOES THE JERK ALWAYS GET THE GIRL!? M(R)att Striker

And with the possibility of true love being dead, that concludes 2011 in NXT!
 

King Kamala

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1/4/2012

The first NXT Redemption of 2012. Who'll be NXT's breakout star this year?

We didn't have a winner in 2011!

We are in Little Rock, Arkansas. Matt Striker is in the ring. He announces tonight's main event will be Darren Young Vs Derrick Bateman. But first, with the 100th Episode of NXT coming up in two weeks, we're reintroducing some of our favorite NXT Stars of the past. Striker introduces the man who he believes will be THE next breakout star in WWE..Season 2's Michael McGillicutty.

The preview of this episode mentions him as Curtis Axel, for some reason. IS WWE TRYING TO RETCON THE NAME MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY? Did someone at the Network have a bad experience with Dr. McGilllicuddy Mentholmint Liquor. I used to do a comedy show at a dive bar where the owner insisted on doing shots of Dr. McGillicuddy Root Beer Schnapps after shows.

Anyway, I digress. REGAL IS BACK ON COMMENTARY. He was selling being Brogue Kicked by Sheamus.

Michael McGillicutty's backwards hat with wrestling trunks look is dumb as hell.

McGillicutty: NXT? This show sucks!

Great way to start the year tbh.

NXT did squat for his career. He jumped John Cena, he became a member of the Nexus, and won the Tag Team Titles because no one expected him to do it!

SAY IT TO MY FACE!

Alex Riley is here.

Regal: (dripping with insincerity) What a great first night back! First Michael McGillicutty and now Alex Riley.

Alex Riley can't believe Michael McGillicutty is badmouthing the show that made him famous.

A-Ry says joining a group of people and beating up John Cena doesn't make you a superstar. He already knows it doesn't! The only way to earn respect is with your BARE HANDS!

McGillicutty interrupts the Say It To My Face catchphrase and we have a match.

Oh boy. A-Ry Vs McGillicutty. What a way to start 2012.

Alex Riley seems like a fiery '80s-early '90s midcard babyface trapped in the 2010s. It seems like he should be teaming with Johnny Gunn.

Regal says his New Year's Resolution is to get his toes amputated so he can be another inch closer to the bar.

Did he hear that line on a Dean Martin Celebrity Roast?

Regal actually does a good job putting over the rookies saying that he had ten years of experience before he made his debut in WCW and 15 years before he made his WWE debut. These rookies are debuting right away on WWE (sort of) television.

Riley wins with Fireman Carry Cutter then attempts to bond with a booing fan in a CM Punk t-shirt
 

King Kamala

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Josh Matthews recaps the Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis feud for Regal. Regal says he watches the product. Like to imagine Regal watching these segments and doing the Regal Face.

Bateman is talking to Kaitlyn. No more crying about Maxine or writing in his dream journal. Maxine and Johnny Curtis interrupt. Maxine knows Derrick is boning Aksana. Maxine says Bateman will rue the day he crossed her. Kaitlyn Vs Maxine is next.

Regal's take on the Bateman/Curtis/Maxine love triangle: Eh these things happen in life.

Maxine wins a quick match with standing dragon sleeper.

John Cena has more followers on Facebook than J Lo, LBron James, Madonna, Oprah Winfrey, and the Dalai Lama. How many WrestleManias did the Dalai Lama main event?

RAW Rebound: John Cena thought he was going to have to wrestle Kane but instead David Otunga comes out. David Otunga walking out with the coffee mug and business casual outfit while Kane's pyro goes off is indelible image. So it'll be handicap elimination match between Cena, Big SHow, and Zack Ryder Vs Mark Henry and Jack Swagger. Mark Henry and Big Show get Double DQ'd. Cena eliminates Swagger to get the win. ane pops out from underneath the ring to beat up a hobbled Zack Ryder.

Idk if this Embrace the Hate/Rise Above Hate feud would've been better if Cena had actually eventually turned heel or not. Would the Dungeon of Doom/Hogan feud have been dumber if Hogan had never turned heel? Probably!

Trent! and Yoshi Tatsu play WWE 2k12. T Reks and Curt Hawkins mock them for being nerds. Trent challenges them to a game but the controller they hand Tyler Reks has super glue on it. D'ohhhhh!

We get a look back at the first Royal Rumble. Regal waxes nostalgic about watching it on SkyTV. Who knew 12 years later he'd feud with the winner Jim Duggan over a title found in a trash can?
 
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