King Kamala's NXT Redemption Live Blog

[King Kamala]

Next is Trent Vs Curt Hawkins.

Tyler Reks is managing with the X Box controller stuck to his hands.

It is funny that WWE is kind of portraying video games as "HAH! Nerd Stuff" in 2012 but then again it kind of does in 2019 too.

Josh Matthews and William Regal wish JR a Happy Birthday and make some old age jokes. Josh Matthews then congratulates Regal for being voted Best Announcer of 2011 by WWE.com reader. Regal: It's like being voted the Best Looking Man in 2011.

Trent wins with a Tornado DDT. Even in 2012, Curt Hawkins couldn't get a win. Ya know I wonder where Curt ranks in comparison to Barry Hrowitz and Iron Mike Sharpe for lowest all time winning percentages in WWE history.

 

[King Kamala]

We recap the neverending Darren Young-Titus O'Neil feud.

Darren Young gets on the mic. He says Titus O'Neil is probably at home, hanging out with his kids. The big baby.

Derrick Bateman seems to show a much more adventurous moveset than his later days.

Maxine and Dirty Curdy interrupt the match to announcs that they are getting married on the 100th Episode of NXT

Darren Young wins with the Gut Check.

William Regal doesn't understand how the love of your love marrying a weirdo can distract you from getting the victory over Darren Young.

 

[King Kamala]

1/11/2012

99th episode. Maybe we'll get Eli Cottonwood returning this week.

HEY! We actually get new credits with the C teamers that are actually on the show replacing the eliminated Season 5 contestants.

Goodbye Lucky Cannon

Matt Striker welcomes us to the show. Middle aged fan in CM Punk shirt with a #Bazinga sign. Which TSM poster is it?

Matt Striker welcomes Alicia Fox back to the show. Almost as good as Eli Cottonwood.

Maxine interrupts. She says Alicia Fox was no use to her the first time she was on NXT. Alicia Fox was an NXT Coach!?

Matt Striker: Hey settle down ladies.
Maxine: Can it, Seacrest.

Maxine and Alicia Fox get into an Attitude era esque catfight.

We are in Laredo, Texas this week. Which seems like type of place where people would bring Big Bang Theory related signs to WWE events. Regal and Striker are the announce team this week. I will take a sip of White Claw everytime Striker says "Master Regal".

Again Regal adds a lot to this without even trying talking about all of the time Alicia Fox being upset at all of the time she wasted on mentoring Maxine, only see her to engage in such tomfoolery this season.

Alicia Fox wins with a reverse rollup. Maxine was too distracted by her wedding next week.

Up next. The prankster Trent Barreta takes on Tyler Reks.

 

[King Kamala]

Regal hypes up the 12 to Watch in 2012 article on WWE.com, featuring Sheamus, Zack Ryder, Kane, Eve, Cody Rhodes, and Chris Jericho. Idk if any of those guys had particularly awesome 2012s. 2012 was the year where they made that crappy attempt at making Sheamus a superhero babyface. I think Jericho's 2012 was disappointing more than anything. And Zack Ryder in 2012 might've been worst year a major wrestler has ever had in a promotion. Cody had an IC Title run when it didn't really mean much. Also LOL at 15 year vet Kane being ONE TO WATCH

I am having a hard time thinking of who was the big star of 2012 in WWE. I guess Punk again but he was just rolling momentum from 2011. Maybe Ryback would be up there?

2019 AEW Breakout Star Trent Barreta is taking on Tyler Reks. Tyler Reks is embarassed at getting his hand glued to the XBox controller last week. Regal would have bashed TRENT's skull open with the XBox Controller.

I feel like TRENT would've had a lot better WWE career if he'd shown up a few years later. But you know we wouldn't have gotten his wonderful antics with Chuck Taylor in that case.

Regal talks about how impressive Tyler Reks looks walking through the airport. What is it with old WCW Wrestlers trying to put over guys by talking about how great guys look walking through the airport? NASH always talks in shoots about how certain guys do and don't look impressive/imposing in the airport (during this era, I remember a Grantland profile on NASH where he talked about how regular CM Punk looked in the airport).

Why are all these 90s wrestlers sizing up people in the airport?

Trent gets the upset with a fluke backslide. After the match, Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks attack Trent until Yoshi Tatsu runs in to make the save.

Backstage, Derrick Bateman bonds with Justin Gabriel. Bateman can't believe he was ever so into Maxine. He doesn't care that she's marrying Johnny Curtis next week. Gabriel brings up the e-mail that Bateman sent to Teddy Long. Derrick Bateman never sent an e-mail. Justin Gabriel tells him to stop leaving his phone at the bar or change his password. Was Derrick Bateman's e-mail hacked? "CURTIS!?" The future EC3 bellows at the top of his lungs.

Up next.The Usos Vs Tyler Kidd & JTG. Hey that might actually be good.

 

[King Kamala]

It is p. great to see Tyson Kidd walk out to the Cryme Tyme theme. He does not look thrilled.

Regal talks about stingers as Tyson Kidd kicks Jey Uso in the back. P. awkward

Usos get the win with a superkick as JTG is coming off the top rope. Another bit of unintentional foreshadowing.

Regal thanks Switchfoot for providing the theme to the 2012 Royal Rumble. Early 2010s WWE had a habit of picking bands 5 to 10 years past their prime to provide their PPV themes. I think Limp Bizkit did a PPV theme again around this time. Will Stampede of the Disco Elephants ever be released?

RAW Rebound...John Cena brawls with Kane backstage. Zack Ryder asked Eve on a date then Kane terrorizes them like a horror movie villain. This was garbage. I guess I have EMBRACED THE HATE!

Aksana consoles Maxine backstage. Derrick Bateman tries to tell her his e-mails were hacked but she won't hear any of it and pulls his beanie over his eyes.

Next week...Johnny Curtis will be married but tonight he has to face the charismatic upstart Alex Riley. It's A-Ry V Jo Cu (shaddup Striker)

 

[King Kamala]

SAY IT TO MY FACE.

I don't know if anyone has sounded more insincere than Regal saying that Alex Riley is a major player in WWE.

A-Ry was the first NXTer to make an appearance in a WrestleMania main event though (albeit tangentially).

Johnny Curtis gets surprisingly quick win. OVER A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE WWE.

Derrick Bateman storms out to say that this ends next week.

Up next... a face to face with Darren Young and Titus O'Neil.

 

[King Kamala]

Darren Young's theme music during this season is strikingly awful

https://youtu.be/GW3wn7b7IK4
I'm posting it again so you have to suffer through it now

William Regal likes Darren Young now. He's very proud of him coming into his own this year.

All of this talk about Tom Magee the past few days makes me realize that Darren Young is kind of another flawed CAW come to life.

There's the guy with the "#Bazinga" sign again.

Titus shows up in a shirt that looks like it was stolen from Glenn Gilbertti's closet.

Titus brings up how everyone has given up the points and challenges. Titus wants to fight right now.

Darren Young talks about Titus being unable to beat him. I think Darren has won maybe twice in their gazillion matches.

Darren Young insults Titus O'Neil's STUPID KIDS and Titus has had it. He can call the fans losers all he wants but he is not gonna insult Titus' kids!

They get into a pull apart. Striker says him and Regal want to see a fight. Next week is the 100th episode of NXT and they will have a No DQ match between Darren Young and Titus O'Neil. This feud will end next week. IT BETTER! Regal just wants them to fight now.

 

[King Kamala]

EPISODE 100

We open with an overly dramatic video package highlighting Derrick Bateman, Johnny Curtis, and Maxine's love triangle. A WEDDING IN VEGAS TONIGHT

Lillian Garcia introduces a special surprise for the 100th Episode...the original voice of NXT Michael Cole.

crowd booing
Michael Cole: I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE EITHER!

Josh Matthews implies that Cole is here as result of a lost bet.

A serious Titus O'Neil enters for the No DQ match.

Michael Cole: Titus O'Neil is still here!?

Funny to think Titus is still on the roster 7 years.

Cole likes Darren Young. He'll make the main roster one of these days. I think Darren already was on the main roster.

Cole compares Titus O'Neil's bark to a dying seal.

Pissed off Cole ragging on everything is actually pretty good. WHY ARE WE CELEBRATING THE 100th EPISODE OF THIS SHOW!? IT IS NOT EVEN ON TV?

These guys seem to be showing more fire than normal.

Ya know...a WWE Untold on the competition seasons of NXT like the one they did on WWECW could be dope.

Cole and Matthews recall Goldust and Aksana's wedding on Season 3. Maybe I will watch Season 3 if this season ever ends.

Titus wins with the Clash of the Titus.

Wait...why was this a No DQ match? Only vaguely No DQ thing they did was throwing each other into the ringside barriers.


Titus O'Neil cuts a promo after and turns heel for no reason. HE WANTS TO THANK THE FANS...FOR NOTHING! He has competed on this stupid show for 46 weeks. He has to censor himself from calling Hornswoggle a midget.

Titus: I'm the star of this show and every other show in WWE!
Michael Cole: You're not on any other shows in WWE!

Cole shitting on Titus' forced heel turn is gold.

 

[King Kamala]

Johnny Curtis puts on a tuxedo t-shirt.Michael Cole loves Dirty Curdy! He's creepy and he's eerie and he's getting married tonight! The Dexter like (holy 2012) Johnny Curtis.

Up next, it is an NXT alumni match between Heath Slater and Percy Watson.

Michael Cole: I couldn't be less interested in this match.

Cole and Matthews rag on the lost competition aspects. Matthews tries to claim that the final three are Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, and Percy Watson before Cole brings up Derrick Bateman.

Cole talks about the Drive By Truckers and going to a Skynyrd concert with Josh on New Year's Eve in Nashville.

Percy Watson gets upset win as much as a win over a guy feuding with Hornswoggle can be considered an upset.

Backstage...one of the Usos sneezes on Maxine's wedding dress and Cole laughs like he's watching Curb Your Enthusiasm

 

[King Kamala]

Maxine yells at the seamstress backstage. Johnny Curtis' leather motorcycle jacket and tuxedo t-shirt is dope af. Might jack that look for my own wedding. Maxine storms off. Johnny Curtis asks Kaitlyn if she wants to get weird before the wedding.

Michael Cole: This guy is awesome! Everyone should want to be like Johnny Curtis.

Cole and Matthews rag on Tony Chimel.

Trent Barreta & Yoshi Tatsu Vs Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks is next.

Cole takes credit for Daniel Bryan's World Title run. He made Daniel Bryan famous.

Cole wonders what any of these guys have to do with NXT. Josh Matthews thinks Yoshi was a pro (he was) and he also says Michael Cole was a pro during one season.

If there was a Season 6 of NXT, Cole probably would've been a pro.

Hawkins and Reks actually get a win after Hawkins uses his walking stick and Hawkins hits burning hammer.

Michael Cole thinks it's good for them.

An actual Curt Hawkins win. What a historic episode. The epic wedding of Johnny Curtis and Maxine is next.

Cole: Epic? This'll be a disaster!

 

[King Kamala]

RAW Rebound...Mick Foley teamed up with CM Punk against Dolph Ziggler and David Otunga. Talk about a matches you didn't know existed candidate. John Laurinitis reverses the decision since Foley isn't an active WWE competitor, Punk chews out Johnny Laryngitis. Foley gives the thumbs up then tells Johnny to HAVE THE GUTS to admit he's gonna screw CM Punk at the Rumble. Johnny Ace decks Mick Foley. HOW WILL THIS EFFECT THE WWE TITLE MATCH AT ROYAL RUMBLE 2012!?

Spoiler

It won't

It's time for the most important wedding in WWE history.

Matt Striker shows up dressed as Elvis.

Michael Cole: Hey Striker! Why don't you make like Elvis and die on a toilet?

Holy shit. This is Cole's finest hour

Johnny Curtis comes out with a rando super dirtbag dude.

Cole wants to know why he didn't get his gong for the 100th episode.

Striker: Let's bring out the bride. Giggity giggity.
Cole: YOU ARE HORRIBLE

Cole wonders if Maxine got the snot cleaned off her dress.

Dirty Curdy claims that the guy is Chris the rando dirtbag from last night.

Chris wants to meet Hillbilly Jim.

Striker tries to sing and Cole boos loudly.

Striker tries to reveal himself as if it's a huge surprise and the crowd boos. LOL

Derrick Bateman: WAAAAAIIIIITTTT THIS MUST END!

Bateman at least showed up to crash this wedding in a suit.

Curtis: You're embarrassing yourself! You're embarrassing my wife! You're embarrassing Elvis!

Bateman reveals that three weeks ago, Johnny Curtis stole his IPad and wrote an (incredibly short) e-mail to Teddy Long.

Maxine slaps Dirty Curdy. Bateman yells "That cat's got clawed"

Bateman and Dirty Curdy brawl. Cole: This is like Mayweather-Pacquiao before it even happens.

This wedding is way better than Mayweather-Pacquiao turned out to be tbh.

Derrick Bateman and Maxine are back together.

Michael Cole: This is the worst writing of any soap opera I have seen in my life!

 

[King Kamala]

Time to revive the slowest crawl through NXT's most forgettable period.

1/25/2012

Opening credits have been changed, I think to not even reflect that this is a competition.

We are in Tucson, Arizona this week. We open with recap Titus O'Neil turning heel last week.

A dapper Titus O'Neil comes out and wants the fans to apologize. They respond with a faint "You Suck" chant. Titus O'Neil says all of the fans smell like garbage juice.

Titus O'Neil: You all smell like a bunch of mungy, jungy crunchies.

HUH!?

Percy Watson interrupts and wants to know what the hell is going on. He wants an explanation from his boy.

Titus O'Neil says he's the Ike Turner of their relationship. He wants Percy to turn heel with him. Percy thinks he sounds like Darren Young.

Percy: You gonna ultimatum me, man?

Ultimatum is not a verb. How did this man get a color commentator job?

The Not Ready for Primetime Players get into a shoving match. Matt Striker storms out and reminds everyone that he still hosts the show and says these two will fight in the main event.

Backstage, Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks bully Matt Striker. He doesn't have time for this. They're facing The Usos next.

 

[King Kamala]

Josh Matthews: Jimmy Uso does a Pop & Lock as the kids call it.

What kid was talking about popping and locking in 2012? Unless washed up breakdancers count as kids.

Royal Rumble is the Sunday after this show and Regal talks about how even though he'd been in WWE for 12 years, he'd never been in a Royal Rumble match. That is mind boggling. I'm assuming he didn't get one after this. I doubt there's anyone who had as long of a WWE run as Regal without a Royal Rumble appearance.

Usos win a perfectly fine tag team match with a superkick after dodging a Curt Hawkins cane shot.

Backstage, a joyous Derrick Bateman in a Matthew McConaughey t-shirt waves to backstage workers and clicks his heels. Kaitlyn lets Bateman know that Johnny Curtis was seen backstage on the bearskin rug in his dressing room.

 

[King Kamala]

Trent Barreta Vs Heath Slater is next. These guys kick ass.

Josh Matthews says Regal won WWE Magazine's "Announcer of the Year" Award for 2011. Regal talks about Cole, Lawler, and all of the A show announcers glaring at him in the cafeteria. It is cool and random WWE Magazine gave that award to Regal since he was a D show announcer but he was objectively probably best announcer in 2011 and no one was still reading WWE Magazine by then.

Heath Slater wins a fun sprint with a flying neckbreaker. Weird to see Heath Slater get a clean win but I guess he was the name in this match.

We recap last week's "wedding". Johnny Curtis speaks out tonight. He is being interviewed by Matt Striker.

Curtis tells Matt Striker how much he loves dirty fingernails in his mouth.

Maxine and Derrick Bateman interrupt. Matt Striker says they'll all all have to get along.

This uneasy truce ends with Dirty Curdy getting kicked in the dick.

Josh Matthews: "This means we're all stuck here and we have to work together and Matt Striker is running the show?"

NXT Season 5 is Hell.

 

[King Kamala]

Alex Riley wishes Percy Watson luck.

Percy Watson never thought he'd have to fight his best friend.

Percy is in the ring when we get back. Regal talks about how doing all of these challenges for 46 weeks may have caused Titus to snap.

Titus O'Neil is laser focused on beating the man that his kids call "Uncle Percy"

Titus wins decisively with Clash of the Titus then beats down Percy.

Alex Riley runs into make the save (getting an audible "HEY! We know this guy!" pop from the kids in the audience) and rips off his dress shirt.

SAY IT TO MY FACE closes out this episode. I have already forgot 99% of what I just watched.

 

[Baby Shoes]

Hey @King Kamala - I was going down a rabbit hole tonight and wondered “What’s Lucky Cannon up to?”. One of the top results when I found his real name was his LinkedIn page https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathon-emminger-829636aa

 

[Baby Shoes]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/50915618538520576

 

[King Kamala]

Should I pick this up and see how many I can do before the Network goes off the air, @Baby Shoes ?

 

[Baby Shoes]

Should I pick this up and see how many I can do before the Network goes off the air, @Baby Shoes ?

1000x times yes

 

[King Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1408526889808019478