Has poor Sid ever been in a good movie? Ready 2 Rumble, River of Darkness, Death from Above, the infamous Beach Blast mini-movie... all crap.King Kamala said:SETH ROGAN & JAMES FRANCO SHOULD HAVE CALLED SID AND THEN MAYBE WE WOULD ALL BE ABLE TO GO SEE THE INTERVIEW ON CHRISTMAS DAY
Not in a world where Into the Woods is coming out on Christmas, we fuckin' don't. Ironically, this movie stars the girl who played Annie in a recent Broadway revival... but Stephen Sondheim's musicals are much less about chirpy kids singing and much more about fucking and killing. So instead of singing about hard-knock lives, the cutesy little girl spends more time fending off Johnny Depp as a pedophile werewolf who gleefully chortles about his desire to eat her alive. Also, Tracey Ullman gets clubbed to death while the Full Metal Bitch from Edge of Tomorrow has a one-night stand with Captain Kirk from the new Star Trek movies and Meryl Streep runs around shooting people in the crotch with magic lightning, and how can you not buy a ticket for all that?BUT INSTEAD WE HAVE TO GO SEE THE HIP HOP "ANNIE" REMAKE WITH OUR MOMS!
The man who rules the world.
Look, you get someone like the Honky Tonk Man who took one bad bump off of a backdrop in 1978 and decided he was never going to go up for anyone ever again. You get someone like Nash who has a bum knee from the get go and isn't going to push it without a damn good reason. You get someone like Disco Inferno who actually loves a lot of different styles of wrestling but realizes that he looks like a moron when he tries to utilize them.
And then you get SID. Sid is someone who is from an alternate reality where wrestling is just slightly different. It's just slightly skewed. At no point in his entire career did Sid think he was doing the wrong thing in the ring. He didn't second guess himself. He didn't have doubts. So much as he didn't have to sell too much for a little guy, everything was perfect. He went out there. He did his thing. He thought that the match was great and he left. Earnest, honest, and it shows in his movements. I don't know if he's from a world where the gravity was a little different, or maybe a world where the rings were made out of stay puft marshmallow, or a word where EVERY match was against a bear. On Sid's world, though? Five Star Matches every time out. He's not one of those guys who you don't believe in the ring. He's not pretending to be a pro wrestler. He is the most unnatural natural person in the history of wrestling.
For our hobby, he is a fucking national treasure. It's hard to get bored watching a Sid match. Bewildered. Confused. Horrified. But not bored.
He's a mad genius and someday I hope that we develop the skill to come to understand him and the cornucopia of work that he left us.
Okay, so here's my theory on Sid: He has these terrible matches on purpose. Since it's not humanly possible for one person to be that useless, I figure that it must be deliberate, and maybe even some sort of sick artform in Sid's mind. Some have Dadaism, we get Sidism. He's painting a picture with his terrible wrestling, giving a profound and painful lecture on the current state of wrestling, whereby he's saying "Any promotion that would push ME is severely messed up". It's sad and beautiful at the same time that someone would suffer for their art so, indeed martyring themselves for the cause of bring awareness to the essential suckiness that surrounds him. It's a cry for help, you see. Every time he puts on his idiotic rear chinlock, he's crying "Stop me before I suck again!" and yet he continues to be pushed. I think the current rambling interviews are just a further sign of his current surrealistic art being taken to yet another, even sicker level. Have you ever heard the shoot interview he did with Rob Feinstein where he basically claimed that his run as WWF champion did houses 5 times larger than Shawn Michaels' run? I can't touch that kind of delusional genius. Picasso was a hack -- SID is truly the greatest artist of our generation. (I think that much like the great tragedies that have befallen mankind, we search for meaning in the chaos, some sort of greater purpose to justify the pain we must suffer through. Hence, Sid fans.)