Smues Plays 960 Arcade Games

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
52. Game #864 - Super Breakout,1978


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes!

Have I played the game before?
I'm not sure if I've played this version but it's very possible.

What is it?
Breakout. You have a paddle and you bounce a ball up at tiles that disappear when you hit them.

How much did I play?
One game, maybe took out 20 tiles.

Thoughts?
I'm thinking this was designed for a paddle or trackball because it's basically unplayable with my joystick, hence why I didn't play very much. It would be fun with the proper controller though. We had some breakout type game on our PC when I was a kid that I used to love, so I'm down with these games. I love the classic bleeps and bloops.

The only other thing to note is for some reason the game plays in black and white, despite the video for the game that plays on the main menu being in color.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
53. Game #699 - Atomic Point, 1990


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
Tetris. Like literally just Tetris with different music.

How much did I play?
I played one game, got to level 10, then the doorbell rang and I died. I didn't see a need to keep playing.

Thoughts?
Tetris is cool and all but most Tetris clones add something new. The only thing I noticed here was a couple of pieces had one block on them glowing, but it was only maybe 3 pieces the whole game I played, and they stopped glowing when they landed. The music isn't very good either. I don't see myself ever playing this one again, especially when there's an actual Tetris game on this machine.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
54. Game #207 - Shinobi: FZ-2006,2006


Have I heard of the game before?
Not this version of it.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
Shinobi. As far as I can tell it's literally just the original Shinobi arcade game.

How much did I play?
I beat the first mission including the boss because I wanted to get the bonus stage.

Thoughts?
Oh man this game. Again I have no idea what makes this version different, so I'm just going to talk about it like it's the original Shinobi. My favorite local restaurant when I was a kid had a copy of this for a couple of years and I would be able to get a quarter from my mom to play it while we waited to get seated. It's a one hit and you die and start over game, and not an easy one, so I never got very good at it. But I played it every damn time we went there and at least got to where I could beat the first mission or two and man is playing this again giving me pleasant feels. I honestly completely forgot about this game because I played a bunch of the console and handheld Shinobis which are different than this game. It's probably been 25 years or more since I played this but it all came flooding back, especially when I saw that fucking bonus stage. When I was a kid it took me forever to be able to beat the first boss so I could never get to that stage but it would show it while in demo mode and damn it it looked so cool.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
55. Game #848 - Battlantis,1987


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
Space Invaders with goblins and ogres instead of aliens.

How much did I play?
A couple of stages.

Thoughts?
I don't see the point. It's space invaders with a better graphical scene. Ok. Why? When I loaded the game up and saw the Konami logo I was surprised I hadn't heard of the game or hadn't seen a home port, but once I realized it was just space invaders I understood why.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
56. Game #2 - The King of Fighters 98,1998


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A fighting game, one of the billion King of Fighters games. Specifically it's 3 on 3, and once a fighter falls the next one steps up. As far as I know you can't tag in the next guy.

How much did I play?
A handful of matches. I even won one!

Thoughts?
Well, I knew eventually I'd get to this series. Not that I have anything against it, I've just literally never played any of this series and there's a LOT of them on this machine. My plan was to go in blind to the first one that popped up just to try it and then maybe look up move lists before playing the next one, and I think I'll stick to that. I button mashed my way to a victory so that's possible at least. I'm no good at fighting games but I usually enjoy them, the good ones anyway. I assume these are good given how many they made and how popular they are. It seemed fine to me while playing, didn't see anything super cheap. I do assume the button layout is supposed to either be four in a row or two rows of two, so I'm at a disadvantage there going three on top and one of bottom. There's another one of these coming up soon so before that one I'll do a minor amount of research.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
57. Game #309 - Liquid Kids,1990


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A platformer. It kind of makes me think of a bubble bobble knock off if the goal was to reach the end of the stage instead of to kill all the enemies. Your weapon in this one is ice, and when you freeze enemies you can knock them into other enemies.

How much did I play?
Half a dozen stages.

Thoughts?
I feel happy right now. It's not a great game, but it's kind of relaxing. It's very colorful and cutesy visually, and the music is fairly relaxing and soothing. The game play is fine but this one is all about the atmosphere. When you land on water your character, who is cute enough, floats on a little raft and it's just adorable. YES I AM SEVEN YEARS OLD. I see myself playing this one again when I need to chill out.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
"I've gone over mountains and accrossed valleys"
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
58. Game #878 - Twin Brats,1995


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A Pac-Man knockoff. You're a baby, I think, and you collect all the dots and avoid mushrooms and other shit. There are other things to collect but fuck if I could figure out if they did anything.

How much did I play?
Seven or eight stages.

Thoughts?
It's got a neat idea in it. There are walls that you can move and they'll block the enemies. So a smart person could really plan out levels and you can save yourself in a pinch by flipping a wall, but it's not enough to make me care about it. As far as I can tell there's no power-up to kill the enemies like in Pac-Man. Also, when you die it starts you right back, meaning the enemies can still be right there. You have your few seconds of invulnerability but it's not always enough. And then we get to the real horror of this game, the public domain soundtrack. God did this drill into my skull fast. I would much rather play Pac-Man and just hear WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA over and over then this torture. Pass.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
59. Game #26 - The Kind of Fighters 98 Ultra Leona, 1998


Have I heard of the game before?
Not this version, but yes.

Have I played the game before?
Yeah, because as far as noob Smues can tell it's the exact same game as the version I just played a few games ago.

What is it?
King of Fighters.

How much did I play?
One fight.

Thoughts?
I'm sure a King of Fighters vet could spot the differences but to me it's the exact same game, so I don't see the need to go any further. At least with the Street Fighter II's I can tell hey you couldn't shoot 8 hadokens at once in the regular one. I'm wondering if this is an official release or if it's a hack/bootleg, but I really don't care either.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
60. Game #394 - Forgotten Worlds,1988


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
I thought it was going to be a Contra knock-off, but it's just a generic side-scrolling shooters where you play as what looks like a guy from Contra.

How much did I play?
The first two stages.

Thoughts?
Meh. I found this one really boring. It felt weird being a Contra guy but only being able to shoot straight. And unlike most of these games there was no secondary weapon and you don't collect power-ups as you go along. You can only buy them from the shop which appears to appear once a level. Really the most enjoyment I got out of the game was from the first quote below.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
"If you are playing this game outside of the country of the United States of America and Canada you are committing a crime. Stop."
I feel like that's not accurate. Like maybe the owner of the machine is but if this is in a Mexican 7-11 I don't think it's a crime to put a quarter in.

"The God of war hates to be attacked on shoulders."
 

Kahran Ramsus

Integral Poster
I always liked the Shinobi series better than the Ninja Gaiden series, although I never personally had a Genesis (until recently when I got an AtGames version).
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
Smues said:
Smues said:
Update on Golden Par Golf: I played it today for the first time in a few weeks and managed to go +4 on both games, and not only did I get two eagles in the first game, I got a hole-in-one on a par 4 in my second game. Someday I'll hit par, someday. Also, I think the laughing at you on double bogey putts happens when you're at or under par, as I heard it three or four times while I was under par.

Played 36 holes last night while intoxicated. I think I was +6 on the first course, but finished -4 on the second course. WOOT WOOT WOOTIN PALLY.
-6 on the last course and I've now broken par on all three courses. Suck it, golf game!
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
61. Game #33 - The King of Fighters 2002 Magic Plus,2002


Have I heard of the game before?
Not this version specifically but the series as a whole yes.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
The King of Fighters. Apparently this version is a bootleg of some kind but I don't know the series enough to know what makes it different than regular King of Fighters 2002.

How much did I play?
Four or five fights. I won one legit, the others I won were thanks to boosts you can get when you continue.

Thoughts?
Well this sure is a King of Fighters game, which means I suck at it. I tried to do some research on how to play these games but after watching a tutorial on like 3 different kinds of jumps I gave up. I did figure out how to change characters mid fight, but unlike a Capcom game they don't come in with their own health bar they keep the original fighter's. I did find it neat that when you lose and continue you can choose a bonus, like difficulty down or enemies have 1/3 health, to make it easier to win the match. I'm thinking I'm never going to get the hang of these though so it's gonna be a long slog through this series. Which is not to say it sucks or anything, it's just not a game I ever played so I didn't learn the flow of it and I'm not likely to learn it now.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
62. Game #702 - The Newzealand Story, 1988


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A platformer. A walrus steals a bunch of...baby birds? And one escapes and has to go after the others.

How much did I play?
The first two worlds giving up at the second boss.

Thoughts?
It's not bad. Early on I was thinking wow this is requiring some crazy tightly controlled jumps for this early in the game, but then I realized you could steal enemy balloons to float around. In fact that's a required mechanic in certain places, and I ran into a situation where I had killed the enemies and couldn't continue or go back, and I just had to sit there until time ran out. If this had been a console game without a timer it would have been a reset situation, but anyway the game does actually require a lot of tight platforming skill, and I kind of dug it. Another game where if I had save states I would come back to it more.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
63. Game #427 - Andro Dunos,1992


Have I heard of the game before?
Nope.

Have I played the game before?
Nyet.

What is it?
Horizontal scrolling space shooter. The gimmick here is you have four different weapon layouts and you can switch between them at will.

How much did I play?
I beat the game, which was eight boring ass stages.

Thoughts?
Yawn. I'm running out of things to say about these games. The gimmick is kind of neat but doesn't really add anything as I spent most of the game just using one weapon that worked best for me. The game is perfectly serviceable but also fairly boring. One weird thing I noticed is when I hit the quarter button when it register the coin for a brief moment you wouldn't be able to move. Odd. Also, that originally said I played the first two stages but I kept playing while writing this, but I was diffenentally bored enough to quit after two. I think I just wanted to beat it and never have to play it again but I also didn't think it would go on as long as it did. Yawn.

..."Please try the next stage" Oh god damnit. I don't know if that means this has a second quest or it was an Engrish way of saying you can keep playing as the game then started over but no I will NOT try the next stage.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
64. Game #918 - Diver Boy,1992


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A single screen puzzle game where you dive underwater to collect oysters while avoiding turtles and fish and other creatures of the deep. You hit the button to dive and then automatically float back up.

How much did I play?
The first two levels, which was a dozen or so stages I think and two boss battles.

Thoughts?
Well damn did the boss battles surprise me. Not because they were awesome or anything but because they were so different than the rest of the game. You're just diving and resurfacing, then all of a sudden it's a boss battle and you'd in a wooden sub shooting harpoons or something at a giant submarine that is just blasting giant missiles at you. It's really bizarre. Outside of that, it's an adequate single screen puzzler, but the music gets old fast. Not much else to say about it.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
65. Game #704 - Puzzle Bobble 2,1995


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A Puzzle Bobble game.

How much did I play?
Four or five matches.

Thoughts?
See whatever I said about the last one, it still applies. It's fun and cutesy, and I suck at it.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
66. Game #180 - Sonic the Hedgehog,1991


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes.

Have I played the game before?
Not in the arcade, but yes.

What is it?
The original Sonic the Hedgehog, with less levels and a stricter time limit.

How much did I play?
I've played a ton on Genesis, today on the arcade I played to world 4 Act 2. Fuck whatever that level is called.

Thoughts?
It's the original Sonic the Hedgehog, I don't think there's much to add. I didn't know it was ported to arcade, but there's no modifications I noticed besides the removal of some levels and the addition of a pretty strict time limit. Oh and there's a high score list. The time limit at first I thought was going to be too much, but it's reasonable. It's different for each stage, so you just gotta go fast. GOTTA GO REAL FAST. YEAH SUCK MY DICK!

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
67. Game #884- Vs. Ice Climber,1984


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes.

Have I played the game before?
Not the arcade version but yes.

What is it?
Ice Climbers. The Nintendo game no one remembered until they showed up in Smash Bros. and no one played until it was hidden in Animal Crossing. You climb mountains.

How much did I play?
Two mountains. I've never been a big fan of Ice Climbers.

Thoughts?
The best thing about Ice Climbers is the music...as produced in Smash Bros. The original game really doesn't have anything for me. Other than laughing because they appear to be scaling mountains because Ridley stole an eggplant.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
68. Game #849 - Donkey Kong, 1981


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes.

Have I played the game before?
Yes.

What is it?
Donkey Kong! You play as Mario, known as Jump Man (Jump Man Jump Man them Kong is up to somethin) and you jump over barrels while trying to rescue the girl.

How much did I play?
Just to level 2, but I've played much Donkey Kong in my life. I had the NES version that had Donkey Kong Jr. on it as well and played the crap out of both of them.

Thoughts?
It's Donkey Kong. It's one of the earlier arcade games I remember playing as they had it at Chuck E Cheese when I was really little. I've never been great at it but I'm ok and can at least beat a couple of levels. I do prefer Donkey Kong Jr though, which I don't think is on my machine sadly.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
69. Game #418 - Aero Fighters 2,1994


Have I heard of the game before?
Yes. I don't know where from, but I'm thinking there was an Aero Fighters 2 machine at some place I went to a lot because I am certain I have heard of this.

Have I played the game before?
Don't think so.

What is it?
Another vertical scrolling plane shooter.

How much did I play?
Up to level 10, which I think is the last level because all of a sudden instead of continuing where you died in that level when you run out of lives you start back at the beginning of the stage. I got to some weird ass monkey boss before I died.

Thoughts?
It's ok. There's no real gimmick to this one like most games have but it's a solid enough shooter. Oddly unlike most other scrolling shooters when you get the maximum level of power-up it doesn't last until you die, it lasts a certain amount of time or shots then drops you down a level, which was annoying. There were multiple characters to play as but I only played as Robo Keaten so I don't know if they play differently.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
Here I come to save the day. Robo Keaten is on his way.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
70. Game #897 - Space Invaders DX,1994


Have I heard of the game before?
Not this version.

Have I played the game before?
Not this version.

What is it?
Space Invaders. There's some new skins on it but it plays exactly the same. Shoot aliens before they make it down to your base.

How much did I play?
I tried a couple of the various different options. So a couple of levels.

Thoughts?
It's Space Invaders. It doesn't add anything but visuals to the game. You can play the original in a couple of different visual styles and that's about it. The only mode of note is 'parody mode' which replaces everything with what I assume are various other Taito game things, because your guy becomes the bird thing from the Newzealand game I played earlier, and I think I recognized one of the alien replacements from that game as well.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.

Gonna take a break from this for awhile, and I need to rest up before the next game but I wanted to note that the next game on the list is likely to be very popular around here. What is it? TUNE INTO NITRO TO FIND OUT.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
You can set how to do it in the settings menu. I have it set so you do it by hitting coin and start at the same time. Doesn't always work on the first try but it mostly works. Also, and I don't remember if this is a setting or a default, but like 3 minutes of np activity at a title screen automatically goes back to the main screen.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
71. Game #85 - WWF Wrestlefest, 1991


Have I heard of the game before?
Fuck yes.

Have I played the game before?
They had a Wrestlefest machine in the cafeteria of a college I did summer camp stuff at and we played it most every day at lunch, then in the summer of 1999 they had it at this arcade I went to routinely to play Gauntlet Legends and I played the crap out of it there as well.

What is it?
Button mashing hell. You either pick one wrestler and enter the Royal Rumble and two and chase for the WWF tag titles.

How much did I play?
This time I completed one Royal Rumble and won the Tag Titles once, but overall I've sunk scores of hours into this game.

Thoughts?
OW MY HAND. I don't remember having the problem when I played the game as a kid, but as a teenager in 1999 I remember how much pain it was to play all the way to the tag titles, and that's certainly still the case because this is button mash city. Also how expensive it is to play to the titles, since you can buy health and you pretty much need to to not get pinned. I still love it though. Whilst Googling for an image I discovered that they remade the game for iOS in 2012? How the FUCK did I miss that? I had an iPhone until June 2012 so I feel like I would have been all over that. Weird.

I almost bought an actual Wrestlefest arcade PCB, but wanted something with a little less button mashing. Still a really fun game though and the roster is pretty decent. I played as Big Bossman for my Royal Rumble win, and Big Bossman and Sgt. Slaughter for my tag title run.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
"USE COMBINATION PLAY AND KEEP BEATING SOME GAMES."
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
72. Game #568 - Kageki,1988


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A really shitty fighting game.

How much did I play?
A couple of fights.

Thoughts?
This one sucks. You're fighting a motorcycle gang or something 1 at a time. I only know that much because it flashed descriptions of members of a motorcycle gang by WAY too fast to read any of it. Like there's 4 or 5 lines of text for each guy and they're on the screen for a second or less. It's stupid.

Anyway, it's a fighting game but not just a move left and right one. You can move around in all directions so you spend a lot of time going in circles with your opponent and then just mashing the button when you get close because fuck if I could figure out anything else to do. And other people, probably motorcycle gang members, are around the ring watching and maybe sometimes they're throw molotov cocktails into the ring.

This one sucks.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
73. Game #872 - Phoenix,1980


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A space invaders knock-off. The enemies can move down apart from the group though and also can move back up. You also have a shield you can use when enemies get down to you or behind you.

How much did I play?
Two quarters. Only cleared one wave the first time, cleared 8 or 9 the second time and beat a boss.

Thoughts?
Not bad for a Space Invaders clone. The shield certainly helps. Not something I'll actively seek out again but I could see myself playing it again when I see it on the list of games.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
74. Game #867 - Jr. Pac-Man,1983


Have I heard of the game before?
I don't think so but there have been so many Pac-Mans it is possible.

Have I played the game before?
Don't think so.

What is it?
Pac-Man, with double the maze size. You have to scroll the screen left or right to see the whole maze. Also the item in each stage turns regular pellets into larger ones that slow you down when you eat them.

How much did I play?
I beat two stages!

Thoughts?
It's fine. It's Pac-Man. I've never been that good at Pac-Man but I like it. My favorite version is Baby Pac-Man, which is an evil blight on humanity, but it's great. Anyway this one is just fine and plays like you would expect it to. What I did notice was how quickly the power pellets stop helping. By level 3 they were turning the ghosts blue for 2-3 seconds tops.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
No.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
76. Game #267 - Crime City,1989


Have I heard of the game before?
No.

Have I played the game before?
No.

What is it?
A side-scrolling run and jump, or maybe walk and jump, shooter.

How much did I play?
The first two or three stages. Would have kept playing but lunch was here.

Thoughts?
Not bad. For some reason it reminded me a lot of the NES Robocop, except you never put your gun away and you can jump. The second stage boss even held a hostage in front of him just like Robocop. It's one hit death if you get shot but you have a health bar and can take multiple hits of other damage. This is a perfectly acceptable later 1980's action game. Also, Engrish.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
"Round 1 PRISON BREAKING" and there were other instances I saw but don't remember. I suspect if I played the full game there would be a lot of it. I look forward to that the next time I play.
 

Smues

Smuesicide
Staff member
77. Game #263 - Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles


Have I heard of the game before?
Jesus Christ yes.

Have I played the game before?
Ditto.

What is it?
Possibly the quintessential side-scrolling arcade beat'em up. You play as one of the four Ninja Turtles (fuck you England) and beat up a billion disposable ninjas.

How much did I play?
This time I played it to completion, and I spent sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many quarters on this at Chuck E Cheese as a kid.

Thoughts?
It's TMNT arcade. If you were a young boy in the late 1980s or early 1990s you probably played this, a lot. Pretty much every piece of this game is still etched in my brain. Even before replaying it I could remember all the stages and bosses and most of the music. The NES version was fun but the arcade was where it was at. Still holds up. The only other thing to note is that despite it saying Hero Turtles the title theme still sings Ninja Turtles. Oh and in the opening they say FIRE! HANG ON APRIL! but here only HANG ON APRIL! is voice acted. I suspect more censorship.

Any Engrish? Or any memorable quotes?
Engrish no, memorable quotes? All day. FIRE! HANG ON APRIL! SAY YOUR PRAYERS TOITLES! TONIGHT I DINE ON TURTLE SOUP!
 
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