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What's the worst piece of music related journalism you've ever read?

Incandenza

Integral Poster
YPOV, I think Czech was more getting at bands with any sort of hype. If Pitchfork frequently made the editorial decision to piss on the big or would-be big bands that all the other blogs and Websites are talking about, Ryan Schreiber & Co. run the risk of alienating their readers (which would lead to a loss in advertising dollars), as well as the numerous bands and labels that play at Pitchfork-related events, which in turn has its own share of potential loss in advertising revenue. That's why they have to take the Ain't New Music Great stance.
 

Byron The Bulb

Byron the bulb
They're also far too visible to get away with posting mp3s that aren't label approved, so they have to keep artists and A&Rs happy in order to ensure a steady flow of content for the Forkcast/pitchfork.tv/etc.
 

Incandenza

Integral Poster
They're just doing what they have to do to play the game, which fine, whatever. Ryan Schreiber makes more money off his site and all related ventures than most of the bands that serve as its bread and butter, so good for him. But his site's success is a big reason why so much "big-name" contemporary indie rock is so homogeneous. Indie labels are just as guilty as major labels at signing acts the follow a proven-successful sound; Pitchork et al give these bands positive coverage; lather, rinse, repeat.
 
Byron The Bulp said:
Thankfully, the internet archive exists and allows us to circumvent P4K's laughable attempts to whitewash its own history

http://web.archive.org/web/20021006020024/www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/b/byrds/notorious-byrd-brothers.shtml

Ever have a secret shame? Something you're really into, but it's just too embarrasing to admit? Like listening to your parents have sex through your bedroom wall? That's how I feel about The Byrds. They're my secret shame. And I didn't even know it until now.

bonus beat: http://web.archive.org/web/20020420025928/www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/b/beach-boys/pet-sounds.shtml

See, at the time of its original release a mere 33 years ago, this was a historic recording, a classic. Brian Wilson's complex vocal arrangements, elaborate recording techniques, and orchestral flourishes were groundbreaking enough to permanantly alter the course of music. On the other hand, a lot has happened for music since Pet Sounds. For instance, compare Pet Sounds to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, My Bloody Valentine's Loveless or Radiohead's OK Computer. To these young ears, Brian Wilson's masterpiece just doesn't stand up.

Sure, the genius of songs like "Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder)," "God Only Knows," and "Caroline No" is undeniable-- to this day, few people have come close to penning sweeter melodies. But this style of straight- forward pop music, despite its appeal on an instinctual level, has become passe and cliched. If this were not the Beach Boys, but some indie pop outfit on Parasol Records, it might make a few critics' Top 10 lists, if it didn't just vanish into obscurity.

I've been listening to Pet Sounds recently and really liking it. So you can imagine my reaction to finding this when searching for takes on the board SMH
 

Byron The Bulb

Byron the bulb
On the subject of deleted pitchfork reviews, don't know how I forgot this one: http://web.archive.org/web/20040810064854/www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/c/coltrane_john/live-at-the-village-vanguard.shtml

John Coltrane
Live at the Village Vanguard: The Master Takes
[Impulse!]
Rating: 8.5
The Village Vanguard. New York City. 1961.

We was sittin' there watchin' the stage. Waitin' for the man they called Coltrane to come out and do his thing. It was me and my four droogs. Them bein' Peter, Georgio and Dim; Dim being really Dim.

'Round an hour'd passed and the place was packed straight through to the back. I'd just dropped some dollars for 'Trane's Giant Steps six months back. Now was the time, this was the place. The Village Vanguard. New York City. 1961.

I was only there for the first night, see, but them cats at Impulse! just made my life complete. They put out four CDs of all that sound 'Trane put out those nights. But you know my type, man. Can't afford to eat, let alone spend some heavy cash on music. So I only got the essential. Live at the Village Vanguard: The Master Takes is one disc, makin' it one-fourth the cost of the box set. And you only get the best stuff.

Man, the opening beauty of "Spiritual..." It's like a dream I had: I floated on the River Nile, smokin' some fresh weed, relaxin'. But I ain't ever gonna see the Nile anyhow. This track's as close as I come, and it's close enough. Best of the best, though, has gotta be "India." It's only when you listen to a perfect old jazz tune like this that you realize how much drum-n-bass is derived from this music. 'Trane takes it to heaven and back with some style, man. Some richness, daddy. It's a sad thing his life was cut short by them jaws o' death.

Shit, cat. It don't make a difference. The man produced enough good music to last me a lifetime. This Village Vanguard thing's just another example of the genius of Coltrane.

-Ryan Schreiber
 

Smartly Pretty

PujolJunkie
Speaking of crappy music journalism: I started a blog where I review records that people hate. Here's the first one, it's about Lulu, an album that is pretty much (but not quite) as bad as everyone said it was. If any of you guys can think of some really terrible records you'd like to see covered feel free to suggest some.
 
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