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TV/Film & Literature / Re: In Which I Review Movies
« Last post by Saddam of the 909 on Today at 06:43:46 PM »
A little surprised you've never been into musicals, 909, considering how many great ones there have been just from Rocky Horror Picture Show to Little Shop of Horrors even going back to stuff like Grease.

Grease is a terrible movie. Other than uh...Willy Wonka and Hairspray, I haven't seen any other musicals. I used to make it five minutes and turn them off.
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TV/Film & Literature / Re: In Which I Review Movies
« Last post by Saddam of the 909 on Today at 06:41:13 PM »
From greatness to uh...worstness.



The Ridiculous 6 (2015), directed by Frank Coraci

I said that I was going to review Netflix exclusives, and I certainly meant that. Not all of them, of course. Some demand my attention though, and I'm thinking specifically of Adam Sandler's. Why his? Netflix made a big deal about creating a film division, and my recollection is that Adam Sandler was the first big name that they signed. I probably should have put quotes around "big name," but anyway, I'm sure his fans were absolutely elated by this news. They didn't have to leave the trailer park to watch his movies anymore! I don't really know if trailer parks have internet required to watch streaming movies, so perhaps that's inaccurate, but in any case it's not like someone has to pay a premium to watch this guy anymore. I remember reading that there was a controversy about this film's depiction of Native Americans, and it's an indisputable fact that there's a real problem here. I am shocked that Netflix would make something with this many problems, but perhaps I shouldn't be. It's not like they've shown that they care and they're out to make money just like anyone else. As for the movie itself, well...

This is probably the worst movie that I've ever seen in my whole life, and it's extremely unlikely that I ever see something worse. I'm going to test that with some of these other Netflix efforts, but anyway, this is a western. Tommy/White Knife (Adam Sandler) is a man who was raised by Native Americans after his mother was murdered. He wants to get married to Smoking Fox (Julia Jones), who some guys want to kidnap. You know what, fuck this. I can't do it. I can't write about this movie this way, I've done it so many times but I've never had to write like this about something this bad. Nothing about the plot makes sense anyway and I don't see the point. Here's what I know. This movie is dumb as fuck. I know that this has to be the worst of the Sandler movies on Netflix, there can't be anything worse than this. I have never seen something that I wanted to shut off more than this, I barely made it through this film. It is supposed to be a satire, and I can see how that works, but what about that stuff just not being funny?

What about the cast, some of whom drag the movie down further than I'd expected? I knew Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider would, but Taylor Lautner plays the worst character that I've ever seen in my life. I cannot believe that someone wrote a script with this character in it. There are countless bad scenes that this character makes worse, it's just horrendous. I don't even want to go over the whole cast, I simply can't do it. It's so bad that Steve Buscemi went from being the lead of an HBO prestige drama to doing this kind of movie once again. I am extremely annoyed and angered by this. It should never happen! Harvey Keitel is in this too. That should never happen! Nick Nolte has taken such a fall that I'm not really surprised, but man. That's sad. Steve Zahn is always in these kinds of movies too, but he's done better work, particularly in Captain Fantastic. It's weird the things some actors will do in order to get paid, but you gotta get paid. I am not faulting that in anyone's case, except for one. Taylor Lautner, man, what did you do? Why would you do this stuff? This is the biggest career killing role that I've ever seen. Will Smith has done things to wreck his career, but never to this level. I don't know who told this guy to play this part.

I need to talk about a few of the really bad scenes just because I have to get them out of my head. If I saw it, you must read it. I feel an intense compulsion to mention these, and I had no intention of doing so. I'd even finished the review before going back to this. A standout as far as bad ones go is one where a donkey sprays shit out of its ass, and it's repeated a few times in fact. There's another where Taylor Lautner's character (I don't even know this motherfucker name, that's how tough this was) motorboats a sheriff's wife and is sent to be lynched. While hanging, he swings back and forth from side to side. There's also a musical scene that's massively out of place and features Terry Crews talking about the six brothers touching dicks.  I'm surprised this made the movie in the sense that there were actors who obviously did not want to be filming that scene. Crews also plays the piano with his BBC at some point, and I'm almost wanting to list that in the following category because it's kinda funny. I didn't even notice Vanilla Ice playing Mark Twain, but I do have something for you guys.



THAT'S ADAM SANDLER DISGUISED AS A TUMBLEWEED.

I laughed for good reasons three times throughout the movie, and many times because of how bad the scenes were and I couldn't believe I was watching them. I'll talk about the good reasons. There's a scene where John Turturro is introduced as Abner Doubleday, and he demonstrates a game of baseball. First, I laughed seeing him. Second, I laughed at the reaction of the Chinese immigrants he was teaching the game to. It was funny because I could imagine somebody reacting like that if taught baseball in some random field. Another scene, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, is one where Buscemi's character rubs some stuff he took off Jorge Garcia's dick and puts it into Taylor Lautner's mouth. Lautner says that it tastes good. THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT THIS MOVIE, IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT I'M SAYING ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

1/10
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The women thing is gross. Making them wear head-to-toe ringwear in Dubai? That's an acceptable "their culture is different" exception. Going to a country where women are treated like garbage and not even allowed to work? That's just fucking slimy.

I mean, I get that it's hard to turn down the kind of money that's being thrown around and it's their choice but it's still gross. And is Finn gonna come out in his gay pride shirt?

Okay, I'm gonna go counter to that.

1. This is the 9th show they've run there. People are only paying attention now cause, well, I don't know why.

2. Women and children are able to attend for the first time.

3. Do you think people there will change their minds through ignoring them?

If you're gonna bring up the gay pride stuff then they shouldn't run here either the way the police in this country execute black people without trial.

1. Because those shows weren't heavily advertised and shown on the network???
2. Yes, the country is changing. Congrats, a portion of the roster still can't work the show though. They're missing out on a pay day because they have a vagina. Cool cool
3. Who said anything about changing their mind? I hardly think wrestling is going to be paramount to religion either way. "Wow I loved that Asuka match, women deserve equal rights!" wouldn't be on their mind.

Part of their TV deal in Saudi Arabia is to do a big show there. Getting that TV deal means people there will see how Westerners are. If people don't see how that matters and what kind of impact that's already had in the Middle East I'm actually genuinely stunned. Not doing things like that, even if they seem like a problem in terms of being contradictory, inaction caters to religious nutjobs because they would prefer their countries to remain closed to Westerners. Egypt is practically worshiping a soccer player who plays in England, I think things like that can only be good in terms of opening people's minds to the world around them.

As for the part about women getting a pay day, that's an assumption nobody is privy to. It's incredibly likely everyone will be paid more as the company makes more profit because that's how it works, but I'm not going to defend that. As I said I don't know, but I think WWE is savvy enough to know it would be negatively reported on were female workers not given a bonus.
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Wrestling / Re: TWIW 4/23-4/29: Countdown to the GREATEST RUMBLE!
« Last post by CookieMueller on Today at 05:13:39 PM »
The women thing is gross. Making them wear head-to-toe ringwear in Dubai? That's an acceptable "their culture is different" exception. Going to a country where women are treated like garbage and not even allowed to work? That's just fucking slimy.

I mean, I get that it's hard to turn down the kind of money that's being thrown around and it's their choice but it's still gross. And is Finn gonna come out in his gay pride shirt?

Okay, I'm gonna go counter to that.

1. This is the 9th show they've run there. People are only paying attention now cause, well, I don't know why.

2. Women and children are able to attend for the first time.

3. Do you think people there will change their minds through ignoring them?

If you're gonna bring up the gay pride stuff then they shouldn't run here either the way the police in this country execute black people without trial.

1. Because those shows weren't heavily advertised and shown on the network???
2. Yes, the country is changing. Congrats, a portion of the roster still can't work the show though. They're missing out on a pay day because they have a vagina. Cool cool
3. Who said anything about changing their mind? I hardly think wrestling is going to be paramount to religion either way. "Wow I loved that Asuka match, women deserve equal rights!" wouldn't be on their mind.
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Adding lyrics was definitely one way to get the crowd to stop singing along to the tune.
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Sports / Re: NBA Playoffs 2018
« Last post by Mr. S£im Citrus on Today at 04:06:04 PM »
Gotta respect the hell out of San Antonio fighting until their last breath. Going out on their shields.
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Can we not have divisions this year? I kind of felt last year the vast majority of the higher point scoring teams by chance ended up in one and only a few playoff caliber teams in the other. With two divisions you dont end up playing every team in the league at least once, which kinda sucks.
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Seems like a lot so far prefer the elimination of the keeper draft round value system.


--Harley's in favor of a 1 round random rookie draft.

Not sure I like that at all paired with the elimination of the value based keeper system. It would make the talent pool in the first round be even further watered down. It works in Option 2 as an interesting feature. Paired with Option 1 I think it would make the draft kind of dreadful.

--In Flik's post, I'm not real sure I see the point of the rookie contracts if we don't have a keeper draft value system. To me 8 keepers is just too much. We have 7 starting offensive spots. Generally most teams keep almost all offensive players or only 1 idp. Keeping 8 would just make the draft become picking bench players and idps. That sounds kind of awful to me and nothing I want a part of.

I don't like either option really. It ensures that people who have good teams and players are able to keep them in perpetuity and it prevents teams from improving through trades of players with higher round values, because those teams wouldn't have to trade them.

Completely the opposite. We already do keep players for perpetuity. Elite players get kept at round 1 cost regardless right. No one is not keeping the Rodgers, Bradys, or Brees because they get too expensive. In Option 1, you actually would be able to trade an elite player for a motherload of picks, what they actually should be worth. Right now, if you want to trade an expensive player for a Round 1 pick it isnt even possible to do unless its for the Consolation Pick. Its flawed badly.



The point of destroying my team was to ensure that I could draft those rookies with high draft picks. I didn't get anything of value from the contraction draft last year either, so it turned out to be a wise decision to demolish my team. I made my plans around this system remaining in place.
In Option 1 rookies are not being removed as they are in Option 2. Honestly there really only were a quarter of the teams that gained a keeper quality player in that Jimmy Graham draft. Only reason we did that was we got fucked over by 4 people that flaked out after we already started drafting.

Right now I am really just taking a straw poll on what the league would prefer. Stay with what we got, option 1, option 2, or something else. None of the proposed Options are set in stone exactly how they would be implememted. They're going to get tweaked if it is selected.
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Wrestling / Re: TWIW 4/23-4/29: Countdown to the GREATEST RUMBLE!
« Last post by KingPK on Today at 01:47:59 PM »


This is...kinda badass.  They had to do this to solidify his heel character.
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I thought there was no way he was going to lose at Mania and I feel the same way now. I'll be shocked if he loses Friday.

I feel like either way he's just a transitional champ to make way for the era of Braun, who has gotten over in the way they wish Roman would have.

Braun got over in much the same way Roman initially did - by looking like an unstoppable machine. Remember that Roman took out like four guys by himself in a SurSer match and didn't eat a pin for a over a year or some shit. The problem was that every time it looked like they were going to pull the trigger on him, something would get in the way and it made him look bad. With Braun, even when he took that one pin against Brock, he came back out and just went right back to being a raging monster. Sure the Shield beat him down, but given their teamwork push, that was bound to happen - then he got put into a garbage truck and came back like two weeks later basically unfazed.

Roman, on the other hand, looks poised to beat Brock at WM31 and they give it to Seth instead. Then he gets it later and is beat by Sheamus in five minutes, then he gets it AGAIN and they do their dumb Authority vs Face shit and have HHH of all people take the belt and after he wins it back loses it to Seth because of a wellness violation. Him beating Brock at 31, even if he got cashed in on by Seth within a few weeks, would have been a thousand times better. Instead, he went on to feud with BIG SHOW (fucking hell) and eventually Bray Wyatt (again a pretty shit move because they could have gotten some mileage out of Seth with the belt very paranoid after he cashed in and ruined Reigns' moment and now oh shit Reigns has the case).

No other guy they pushed to a top guy spot in the last twenty years has gone through this much garbage - maybe Daniel Bryan, but Bryan was so far and away above everyone else in sheer overness that I'm pretty sure they could have maintained whatever ratings they had at the time by just showing nothing but Bryan sitting in a chair eating never-ending salad from Olive Garden every Monday and Thursday.

I think part of it was that the fans knew they were waiting to shove Roman down our throats and as soon as the Shield broke up they proceeded to try exactly that and the fans weren't down with it. I still think Roman should've had a midcard run rather than going straight into a 4-way for the WWE title when the Shield split. Then maybe when he won the Rumble he would've gotten a better reaction because it was obvious they were biding time until the Rumble. Plus he just talked too damn much when the Shield first broke up. The silent killer thing worked so well.

I know people will say you can't be the champion without cutting promos and being a good talker, etc. but why not try it? Have they tried it anytime recently? No.

I still remember the time Big Show was talking trash and Roman simply said "Big Show if you keep talking I'm going to come down there and punch you in the face." and Show kept blabbing so Roman said "Okay" dropped the mic and headed to the ring. That's about the extent of what I feel he should've been doing on the mic when the Shield split up.

There's also the fact that post-Shield split it was painfully obvious the money was in Dean (and/or Roman) murdering Seth but Roman basically was like "eh, fuck it" and got an immediate title shot and mostly ignored Seth until after Mania while Dean was literally bouncing off the walls trying to cut Seth's face off and wear it.
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