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Comments that warrant a thread => Wrestling => Topic started by: The Valeyard on December 15, 2017, 11:43:12 AM

Title: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on December 15, 2017, 11:43:12 AM
So I've been sick for some time now, and I just need to distract myself. My attention span is shot, so I went and made a random playlist of old matches and things, mostly things not on the network (or on yet). Old territorial stuff, a lot of old puro, some TNA, some ROH...just random shit. Figured I would start a sporadically updated thread.

Take Five With Barbara Clary (David Von Erich vs Sweet Brown Sugar TV Title controversy, Florida 1982): David Von Erich heelin' it up is just so right, somehow. The "controversy" is that David is a fucking cheater and Tommy Young is fucking blind, and that's all I need. The main thing is that the NWA doesn't have an instant replay rule, and Jim Crockett makes a rematch. Not much to it. Wrestling Stuff. Barbara Clary is kinda dreamy.

Jastin Taylor vs Cheeseburger (ROH, 2017): I haven't watched ROH in ten years, and it's weird seeing it in HD. Taylor reminds me of Johnny Rodz, and I legitimately fucking love Johnny Rodz. Fuck's the deal with Cheeseburger? It seems like he has a cult following everywhere, for some reason. Guy moves well, I guess, but it looks like a cancer patient. Taylor could wind up being someone of note, not unlike the great Vordell Walker. Just MOVEZ. Seen worse, seen better.

Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, and Iron Mike Sharpe vs Antonio Inoki, Kengo Kimura, and Akira Maeda (New Japan, 2-17-84): I'm so down. Everyone but Bret's got black trunks, and Hogan in black trunks is weird. Always liked Mike Sharpe. Hogan is over as FUCK. The Hogan/Inoki interactions have the crowd flipping the fuck out. They ever have a singles match? Maeda kicks out of the legdrop early on, which makes sense in Japan but still, I like it. Hogan's got the workin' boots on, too. This is a fucking sprint and a half. Everyone's getting something in, everyone is able to hang. Inoki pins Bret after the insiguri. I don't care what anyone says, that was top titties.

Jos LeDuc vs Genechiro Tenryu (Uh...the NWA, 1978): Sportatorium, but not listed as a Dallas show and Solie is announcing, so pick one. Tenryu, for the first time ever, looks young, and it's weird. His mustache is .2 Hase. LeDuc is a guy I've read about but seen little of, like a lot of guys on this list. LeDuc no-sells a chop and starts stalking Tenryu like Jason Voorhees. LeDuc kills him with a legdrop. I'm all about LeDuc so far. Crazy monster lumberjack? That's what it's all about.

More later, maybe.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 15, 2017, 06:23:09 PM
Fuck sick, fuck doctors, fuck King's Landing, fuck the King.

Anyway, distractions. Right.

Hiroshi Hase vs Super Medico (WWC Puerto Rico, 2/86). Hase is a guy I can always count on. I don't that I personally have been let down by a Hase match, because he's Hase. I know nothing about Super Medico, but there were probably ten of them anyway so who cares. I am unsure, though, why he's a heel. Ohhh, he's a heal. This is being held in a baseball stadium, and the tape quality makes the crowd on the hard camera look like a matte painting. Sounds like there's Japanese commentary dubbed rather quickly over the Spanish commentary, which is good because I didn't want to make my headaches justified. However whatever they did removed crowd noise, so it's playing to a void. Hase's kinda punching below his weight limit, here. Medico sucks bear butt. A really ugly flying headbutt to a stanting Hase gives Medico the win. The Puerto Rico section will be fun.

Hiroshi Hase/Fumihiro Niikura vs Ricky Sexton/Tully Blanch(WWC, March 1986): Not Blanchard, just Tully Blanch. I don't feel like betting on Blanch is the right decision. Somewhere in time and space is a dimension where Hase and Niikura were the Orient Express and having awesome matches with the Rockers. Commentary is again hastily redubbed and kills crowd noise. I wanna invest in this plodding murder. I want that pop that at least makes me feel like the end of Homeward Bound is coming, then death by chop. Hase/Niikura win. Finally.

Jimmy Snuka vs Ricky Steamboat (AJPW, 1981(?)): This is pre-murder Snuka, in red boots. Steamboat is gaining his main event weight. I make tea during a long headlock sequence.  I drink it, and literally leave to come back to another headlock sequence. Oh, so we're doing that shit. When they stop that and things happen, I'm immediately reminded that Steamboat is one of the GOATs and I'd watch him wrestle basically anyone/thing. Which goes back immediately to the headlock. Joe Higuchi is the best part of the match. Top three referee. Snuka's Mahal-esque in physique. Headlocks, I check the mail. Christmas cards are a weird level of friendship. Like, you like someone enough to devote the time, but ultimately what's it worth? Oh shit the match is a match now. I think the motherfucking DESTROYER is at ringside and this would, were I using stars, just gain one.Steamboat's been headbutted and bitten bloody, triggering Snuka's hunting instincts. Evil Snuka never got a fair shake in the WWF (rightly so) but he looks like an exploitation movie poster. I wonder if I, or you, or anyone in the business ever saw Snuka lucid. This picked up FAST. Some neat near falls, Evil Snuka grinning like a psychopath, and Steamboat fighting and fighting until he gets himself disqualified for beating too much fuck outta Snuka. Fun little match, just slow as balls. They're now fighting down the aisle, where Snuka cracks Ricky with a table and it all goes awesome. Angry Steamboat rules.

Next time, whatever. Someone blowing up or Lou Thesz or whatever I put up during a period of rough.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Super Leather on December 15, 2017, 07:02:01 PM
JOE LeDUC VERSUS TENRYU?!?!?! Gonna get on YouTube and watch that right now.

Angry Steamboat vs. Evil Snuka is fun once it gets going; there's a few matches between them that I have on a bootleg tape somewhere.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 16, 2017, 09:44:49 AM
LeDuc/Tenryu is kind of a product-of-its-time squash, but dude, that's still really cool, you know? Even cooler at the Sportatorium.

So hey.

Big Van Vader vs El Giante/Giant Gonzalez (Japan, some time when Gigante was in WCW or otherwise alive): Ohhh shit. I love a good freak show. I feel like bad things await Gonzalez. Gonzalez, being Gonzalez, works light, while Vader does not, and beats the FUCK out of him in the corner as he is wont to do. Vader just casually beats him to the ground and I kinda feel bad for Gonzalez. He only learned to work a certain way, and is in no position to get fucked up by a Vader. Crowd don't give a shit about him, even when he gets to throw Vader around. Double count out. Oh fuck off. I wanted a kaiju powerbomb. Vader attacks him with the steam from his helmet like a super villain. Ugly match, but you can gauge how much Gonzalez gets legit hurt by how he does his dopey (and unnecessary) selling.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 17, 2017, 03:10:06 PM
Andre the Giant/Giant Baba vs "Land of Giants" (AJPW, 1992): I have no idea who the the other Land Giant is, but one is Tyler Mane doing the Nitron thing. Andre looks in pain just standing, which sucks to see, but isn't shocking. What was Baba's reputation as a worker in his prime? I was always under the impression he was one of the better big men but age hit him hard and sudden. The Land of Giants are working so light that it's like Andre and Baba are wrestling no one. It's not a good match, as you't expect, but for two monsters who had nothing in the tank, that "whip into the big boot, drop the big elbow" finish was pretty slick.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: JHawk on December 18, 2017, 02:46:35 AM
Andre the Giant/Giant Baba vs "Land of Giants" (AJPW, 1992): I have no idea who the the other Land Giant is, but one is Tyler Mane doing the Nitron thing. Andre looks in pain just standing, which sucks to see, but isn't shocking. What was Baba's reputation as a worker in his prime? I was always under the impression he was one of the better big men but age hit him hard and sudden. The Land of Giants are working so light that it's like Andre and Baba are wrestling no one. It's not a good match, as you't expect, but for two monsters who had nothing in the tank, that "whip into the big boot, drop the big elbow" finish was pretty slick.
Baba's reputation in his prime was that he was actually a pretty solid worker.  However, there is at least one Baba vs. Destroyer match on Youtube which is really good but it's literally the only good Baba match I've seen.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 18, 2017, 01:10:36 PM
I watched some more Baba last night/early this morning, and I agree, he was solid. Baba vs the Original Sheik might be the best Sheik singles match I've ever seen, which you can take as you will. I'm on that Destroyer match, though. Destroyer is a personal favorite I've not watched in years.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 18, 2017, 01:38:27 PM
Ayako Hamada vs Ray (FMW/Hayabusa Tribute Show, 12/22/15): I actually knew Ray. We met on some Twitch gaming chat and I had no idea who she was. Talked sporadically, but it was interesting talking to someone who worked all over and just was a cool person. Fell out of touch, and am very sad to hear she's in such a bad way. She was a groundbreaking worker, for reasons that may or may not be known (but I won't say because I don't know, but she would've been one of the more significant names of our time), and it sucks. Hamada is best known for TNA fucking her up despite being good. Hamada also just obliterates Ray in pretty quick fashion, making me kinda sad I found this of all matches popping up.

It had to be right after this she was being checked out for a concussion and then they discovered a brain tumor. Looking her up, it doesn't look good at all. Fuck.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 18, 2017, 05:32:15 PM
I need cheering up and the I haven't been able to get the meds I need. Fun road ahead on my end, but now

Ox Baker vs MAN EATING BEAST w/Sheik Abdullah the Great (Poffo's ICW, 1984): Man Eating Motherfucking Beast (or MEB) is just some big bleach blonde guy in black-and-white face paint. Best jobber. Ox Baker was fucking terrible but so entertaining I can't hate him. Guys like him are exactly what I want when it gets down to it, I guess. Easy to please. At any rate this is the longest five minutes in wrestling history. Ox can only really hit the heart punch, but is otherwise immobile. But fuck it, it's Ox Baker. His finish killed people.

Hayabusa and Jinsei Shinzaki vs Holy Demon Army (AJPW Real World Tag League, 11/23/97): I'm not sure I like my bros HakAbusa's chances. The Army started this rabbit hole I'm enjoying going down. I might actually have this on a goodhelmet comp somewhere. I'm just more chillin' to watch this. I love much they want to WIN, though. No one here cares if they win anymore. Happy endings are devalued. I say as Kawada kicks Hayabusa's face in, only to stop and kick Shinzaki's in, and then kick Hayabusa some more. Kawada and Taue are a fucking perfect tag team. Perfect. The crowd is NUTS for everything. It's been nonstop action from both sides. Speed vs Power done right. Kawada destroys Shinzaki with the powerbomb to finish a fucking awesome match, and one I'd say is very accessible. Watching that made me legit happy. The match had a weight to it I just feel like I at least never see anymore.

Tatsuo Nakano vs Bad News Allen (UWFi, 1995): I'm a Bad News mark and that's because he's fucking awesome. Never seen UWFi, by the way, but have always wanted to, so forgive any dumbness. Bad News looking like he's in his fifties, toned dad bod but eyes of hate. Nakano looks like a guy I once knew who gave me a bump of coke in a bar bathroom. I have never heard a crowd get SO quiet, be SO focused on what was happening in the ring. It was just some awkward proto-MMA but they were fucking ON it. I get what they're trying to do, but in this case it isn't working. Nakano wins with a half-crab into a kneebar. I'm not sure I know the right way to watch this stuff, with MMA brain or wrestling brain or what. Really looking forward to finding out. My attention is piqued.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 19, 2017, 11:03:55 AM
Giant Haystacks & Fit Finlay vs. Big Daddy & Drew McDonald (World of Sport, 1984: So I know one of these guys is good, one is Loch Ness, Drew McDonald in a kilt (therefore good also), and the other is Big Daddy. I've seen Big Daddy's name brought up and how he's kind of a British icon, and he might just be the most hideous looking human being I have ever seen. Young Finlay with brown hair and a beard is kinda cool. I have no idea if he's able to carry two like 500lbs guys and McDonald, but maybe I'm selling McDonald short. Finlay's all fast and spry and kinda super-stiff-proto-Owen Hart. McDonald himself is a 300lbs guy, but is moving well enough and seems like a fine big dude. He and Finlay are carrying this. Haystacks is every bit as good as he'd be in '96. But he's all afraid of Big Daddy because heel and it looks fucking stupid. Two big fat dudes should never be afraid of just bashing into each other until one of them dies.

Finlay works like a fucking star. Haystacks just falls on McDonald for a fall. Last night I watched the Holy Demon Army. That was cool. Big Daddy looks like a giant elderly baby. Somehow Daddy and McDonald win by count out. I guess. Haystacks and Finlay ran away and they got their hands raised. Ugly as sin, but Finlay was the shit and McDonald seemed fine. We never even got two fat dudes running into each other for more than a second, too, which is bullshit. If I'm hossin' I want fucking hoss behavior.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 23, 2017, 03:52:15 PM
Abdullah the Butcher had this awesome match where he stabbed a dude with a fork. Can't remember who though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on December 24, 2017, 06:14:29 AM
Big Daddy, if I'm recalling what I've read correctly, was a massive star in the UK for the 70s and 80s, but he continued to put himself over at the expense of others well into retirement age and practically killed the scene until the brief FWA flurry in the early 00s (which then killed the scene until ICW/Progress/RevPro came along).
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 24, 2017, 11:05:12 AM
That's my understanding as well. I've been curious about the British/World of Sport scene forever, and what I've been seeing is either a fat guy going over in hilarious fashion or guys like Finlay/Regal/Owen cutting their teeth in the business. Big Daddy is every negative comment anyone has ever had about Hogan or Cena or basically any top face. I don't think I've seen the guy even leave his feet yet.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 24, 2017, 11:24:17 AM
Suggestions of anything from anywhere/when are welcome. It would appear I have the time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Sabre on December 24, 2017, 12:54:21 PM
That's my understanding as well. I've been curious about the British/World of Sport scene forever, and what I've been seeing is either a fat guy going over in hilarious fashion or guys like Finlay/Regal/Owen cutting their teeth in the business. Big Daddy is every negative comment anyone has ever had about Hogan or Cena or basically any top face. I don't think I've seen the guy even leave his feet yet.

He was the British version of hogan.  He occasionally bumped when fighting giant haystacks.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 26, 2017, 06:39:07 AM
How the fuck did he become the British Hogan of all people? Just always booking himself as the top guy? Did he always look like the world's largest uncooked pie?

I'm shocked Vince never brought Haystacks in. Seven-foot, 500+lbs guy in the '80s would've been perfect to feed Hogan and/or superteam with Andre.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on December 26, 2017, 07:06:26 AM
He was always a big guy, yeah. I can't quite explain the appeal since I was neither alive at his peak nor British, but it seems like he was a dominant heel who turned face at the right time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 26, 2017, 02:58:37 PM
I hear you. These British matches are fun as fuck when you're in the right mood, though. Whole new appreciation for Fit Finlay.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 27, 2017, 02:18:22 PM
Giant Baba vs Fritz Von Erich (AJPW, July 25,1975): Submission or failure to answer a ten count. They beat the everloving fuck out of each other. Fritz gets busted open early on. He's always going for the claw in one form or another, which is fine by me. It's the third most effective killshot in a Von Erich's arsenal, so by all means, fuck him up. He keeps trying, and Baba keeps fighting for his life to either defend or break it.

Ending is bullshit with Baba keeping him out of the ring and just kicking and chopping over and over. It's basically a super rewarding video game brawl. Goes by fast, too.  https://youtu.be/gu9hhBDzO8k (https://youtu.be/gu9hhBDzO8k)
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 27, 2017, 02:32:55 PM
The Pepper Gomez: Man With the Cast Iron Stomach angle is some good shit. Can't find the rest of it (where Ray Stevens jumps on his throat and Pepper gets revenge), but my heart's there.

I also have yet to tire of Inoki kicking Great Antonio half to death. I love Inoki.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 30, 2017, 04:40:10 AM
One of the aspects of TV I miss is the cool home base small arenas. Sportatorium, Center Stage, ECW Arena, wherever Stampede and Florida taped. Even the Manhattan Center Raws. It just feels oddly special, in a sense.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on December 31, 2017, 03:48:01 PM
Never get random migraines and black out and shit alongside pseudo-flu. It makes for a kinda sad new year. But a new year with some Stampede! Stampede had Dr. D working face and feuding with Bad News. It's the best, or would be if every Stampede match wasn't hacked down to ten or so minutes. Nevertheless, Schultz was cutting Stone Cold promos, Bad News Allen called Schultz a faggot and a retard, and the fans chanted "Go home Paki!" at the Great Gama. Wrestling.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 01, 2018, 05:11:25 PM
Anyone else have a severe, virulent, Benoit-esque hatred of the Dynamite Kid?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: JHawk on January 01, 2018, 08:08:17 PM
Anyone else have a severe, virulent, Benoit-esque hatred of the Dynamite Kid?
Based on what he did outside the ring?  Of course.  Inside the ring?  Both were so fucking good that I hate the fact they were so hateable outside the ring.  Makes me feel guilty to enjoy their matches.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 02, 2018, 09:03:17 AM
I have kind of --kind of-- an easier time with Benoit to a point. I think that's because Dynamite was just before my time, but it's a scale of evil thing. Both are evil human beings, but for some reason I can't justify it's much harder for me to watch Dynamite than Benoit, to a point. Benoit after that Angle match at the Rumble is more or less where I stop, and it never really gets that far anyway.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Gert on January 02, 2018, 02:35:25 PM
My Dynamite Kid dislike is more based on the fact that he treated people beneath him in wrestling like shit and hurt people.

Benoit is a little different. He was my favorite. Loved him since Clash XXI when he faced Brad Armstrong. That said homicide is pretty disgusting. I am grateful that WWE did not totally scrub him from their history, but more so that it isn't fair to HHH & HBK for WM 20, Sullivan for GAB 96 and the variety of Kurt Angle matches.

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 02, 2018, 03:26:58 PM
I didn't "get" Benoit until I saw him in ECW with Malenko on some comp. Like I liked him, but nowhere near as much as the IWC of the time. Then I got the J Cup stuff and various other things and it all coincided with him coming back from neck surgery so I was huge on the guy until I probably saw how Eddie's death fucked him up and how his work sorta changed. If he pops up, he pops up, but I won't ever seek him out again. So basically I'm kinda in the WWE's position on the matter.

I really hate watching Bulldogs matches after hearing about how they tortured Matilda. That's really what it comes down to with him, I think. Anyone who married into the Hart family was kinda horrible in their own ways, it feels like.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 02, 2018, 03:28:19 PM
Anyway I watched this a few days ago and novelty aside, it's a trash fire.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD3U6LRkEsY&t=1s
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 03, 2018, 11:38:53 AM
Ernie Ladd is the only guy I truly think could be a huge star in literally any era.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 03, 2018, 01:33:27 PM
Roddy Piper, too.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 03, 2018, 01:55:40 PM
Agreed. We were Twitter Bros. :(
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 04, 2018, 08:42:03 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DSro4l_0cE

This is the worst match I have ever seen.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 04, 2018, 01:32:04 PM
The bump on the finish makes it better than most Giant Gonzalez matches.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 04, 2018, 02:34:18 PM
Haystacks is by far the worst worker I have ever seen so far. Big Daddy is fucking terrible, but he fascinates me at least for somehow being British Hulk Rhodes. I legit think Haystacks might have peaked as a worker in WCW with that Giant match.

Vader changed my opinion on Gonzalez, somehow. Not sure how but it has.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQJTiakNVFg

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 04, 2018, 02:35:22 PM
To redeem England:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CX17KxAfmA
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 04, 2018, 11:25:08 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-d8y373eUY

This is fucking cool.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 06, 2018, 11:43:24 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPxRfCcBIQU&t=144s

Green Sabu gives me mixed emotions. Didn't the Maivia's run Polynesian, too?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 07, 2018, 10:07:23 AM
The Styles/Lynn/Low Ki combination could do no wrong. Doesn't necessarily hold up, but regardless is fun as fuck to watch. TNA felt so special once.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 08, 2018, 11:19:20 AM
FMW is as close to a guilty pleasure promotion as I have. But what the fuck is this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Rd3ggs5oE

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: JHawk on January 09, 2018, 12:05:50 AM
Tolos actually looked in pretty good shape there, all things considered.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 09, 2018, 09:28:12 AM
They both looked infinitely better than I'd expected. I just don't get it. Were either reasonably big names in Japan? Also, that mat looks fucking gross.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 09, 2018, 12:09:23 PM
Never saw the Hase/Muta: Invention of the Muta Scale match before. Fucking Christ, dude. It looks like Hase is wearing a red t-shirt at one point.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: JHawk on January 09, 2018, 09:49:09 PM
They both looked infinitely better than I'd expected. I just don't get it. Were either reasonably big names in Japan? Also, that mat looks fucking gross.
Tolos worked the LA territory for years when they essentially traded talent with JWA (and later NJPW) so he would have been a big name for sure.  Can't answer the same question about Kowalski
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 10, 2018, 12:18:12 PM
Okay, that makes sense. The most I knew about Tolos was his work in the WWF and the run with Blassie. It's just the idea that FMW of all places had that match. What I do appreciate is that these two old timers crammed a lot of a 30 minute match from the '60s-70s into four minutes.

Kowalski is a fun watch. He looked like a serial killer. RIP Yukon Eric's Ear.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 11, 2018, 03:49:59 PM
Kudo/Toyoda is still a hardcore masterpiece. Megumi Kudo might quietly be my favorite female performer.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 12, 2018, 10:35:04 AM
Terry Funk is the legitimate GOAT.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 12, 2018, 11:10:48 AM
Agree on the last two posts. Kudo/Toyoda is one of a handful of deathmatches I'd give the full 5. I watched the 1977 Open Tag League finals last week and Terry was brilliant.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 12, 2018, 12:49:18 PM
I first saw Kudo/Toyoda on one of those fucking horrible TokyoPop tapes with the baaaad announcing. Seeing it as it was meant to be seen makes it so much better, like if you're a star-rating person it gets an extra one.

Terry did everything right except retiring. I still don't feel like I've even scratched the surface, and I loved the guy already. I've been running through his run with Lawler, and he's the master.

And

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-ua5unUUIc

about 4:25-30 you get a perfect slow-burn heel promo.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 12, 2018, 12:56:43 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyEUk1lYJIY
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 12, 2018, 03:01:37 PM
Ah, TokyoPop, back when indies and foreign companies still had US retail distribution. FWIW, Kudo/Toyoda is so good that even the shyte commentary couldn't hurt it for me. There's also a really fun Cactus Jack/W*ING Kanemura match on that same card.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 12, 2018, 03:21:09 PM
I got my very first wrestling snob reaction when I told goodhelmet I had it. Gave to my sister who wanted to be a fan, but the late '90s weren't great for female characters or workers, and she loved Kudo/Toyoda so much. Watched the Cactus/Kanemura match the other night, and it didn't age nearly as well. I love Kudo/Toyoda because that was the biggest match feel I think a deathmatch can have. But that said Foley doing stupid shit and Kanemura just being able to get juice by looking into the wind is about as FMW as it gets.

The Hayabusa/Masato Tanaka vs Mr Pogo/Terry Funk I remember liking once, but that might be rose-colored glasses given how much I like three if those for in general.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 13, 2018, 10:32:45 AM
As a person currently having spinal/headache issues, watching a lot of the Kawada/Misawa/Kobashi matches isn't as fun. Fucking awesome, sure, but not as fun.

Stan Hansen and Carlos Colon beating the shit out of each other, though, is a blast.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 13, 2018, 03:11:15 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeGTuwsTMxg

This is a little unfair.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 14, 2018, 10:39:08 AM
In an effort to find a worse match than Big Daddy/Giant Haystacks, I found clips of Inoki in a handicap match against the McGuire Twins (aka those morbidly obese twins best known for the photo of them riding motorcycles). It wins.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 16, 2018, 01:07:51 PM
So much of the Stampede stuff reminds me of ECW, in a good way, but everything is ridiculously clipped. "We join you twenty minutes in" is bullshit.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 18, 2018, 11:04:26 AM
Ultimo Dragon never really did it for me. I know he's amazing, but I never got excited to see him unless his opponent was someone I dug.

Speaking of, I forgot how much I enjoy Otani. He still going?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 20, 2018, 07:25:47 AM
One of the major things I've found myself loving in regards to the NWA and WCW shows is that they had matches end out of nowhere with a non-finishing move. The idea that someone could lose at any time to anything is a big part of what's missing nowadays.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 20, 2018, 12:16:07 PM
Agreed on that last post. Part of the reason I love ICW so much (and why Defiant is growing on me) is that finishes aren't always built around move exchanges. I feel like an entire generation of talent saw Bryan doing suplexes and dives and forget that one of his biggest moves was an inside cradle.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 20, 2018, 12:34:04 PM
I frankly watched this on various meds the other night and remember nothing, so I went back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-cQFalUVHI&index=37&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

1.) Backlund looks incredibly in shape. If the date (11/23/98) is right, I wouldn't have minded Corporate Crazy Bob Backlund fighting Austin somewhere.

2.) This is weird and I don't know what to think beyond Sasuke not giving a fuck and being exposed.

3.) BattleArts worth investigating further? I feel like this isn't the best introduction, but I've thought that about a LOT of stuff.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 20, 2018, 12:37:37 PM
Agreed on that last post. Part of the reason I love ICW so much (and why Defiant is growing on me) is that finishes aren't always built around move exchanges. I feel like an entire generation of talent saw Bryan doing suplexes and dives and forget that one of his biggest moves was an inside cradle.

I haven't gotten to much modern stuff, not yet anyway. Got a good match for some introduction?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 20, 2018, 03:11:51 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJsdiuLXEUc

Comments, just because I loved TNA back in the day and might've seen this:

--This is the sort of random shit I loved/hated about TNA back in the day. Hawk looks at death's door, as you'd expect. Animal is wearing the "hide my gut" tights and it looks so depressing. Dusty looks like Dusty. Jarrett looks like Jarrett.

--Jarrett's like Orton, in my mind, where he's more entertaining as a heel but a better worker as a face. Together it leads to total mediocrity.

--Based solely on them being LOD, they sell anything from anyone on the other side, it's all over. As I write that Elix Skipper and Low Ki take out Animal. Best shit. Then Hawk sells for Elix! What the hell. Bounces back, but they shouldn't be leaving their feet, especially in 2003.

--If Russo were six or so inches smaller, he'd have been a decent manager. Him trying to second a Low Ki or Daniels makes everyone look weird.

--I watched Omega/Okada right before this. Maybe I should let that settle instead. Those dudes didn't have spikes and crippling addiction problems, though.

--Some stip about SEX booking their next show for every title but whatever. Put everything on Triple X just on principle.

--I could watch Christopher Daniels do anything. He, along with Joey Ryan and the Bucks and several others, are good friends of a friend of mine. Hung out after PWG shows. It's totally unfair.

--Hot tag to Dusty and everyone runs into his elbow except Russo who hasn't done anything.

--OHHHH this is the Random Guys Dressed As Mr. Wrestling and/or The Bullet angle. Who we got this time? NIKITA KOLOFF?!? I don't remember that! Retroactively got me, Vinny.

The TNA matches are going to be fun.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 21, 2018, 06:47:18 AM
Agreed on that last post. Part of the reason I love ICW so much (and why Defiant is growing on me) is that finishes aren't always built around move exchanges. I feel like an entire generation of talent saw Bryan doing suplexes and dives and forget that one of his biggest moves was an inside cradle.

I haven't gotten to much modern stuff, not yet anyway. Got a good match for some introduction?
Ehhhh...I won't lie and say that ICW puts on great matches. They don't. I'd say half their core roster is pretty lousy, actually. The booking and overall feel, though, makes up for it.

Here's a promo package for one of the main matches at Fear & Loathing (their biggest show) a couple years back. It's what made me check more of their stuff out and then subscribe to their VOD service.
https://youtu.be/-sDQZ8j3w0g
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Baby Shoes on January 21, 2018, 07:54:15 AM
--Jarrett's like Orton, in my mind, where he's more entertaining as a heel but a better worker as a face. Together it leads to total mediocrity.

That's an excellent point that I never thought of until you said it
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 21, 2018, 09:11:42 AM
They're weird bookends the more I think about it. Second/third generation "chosen ones" who got pushed past their abilities a lot of the time but eventually hit a groove of Just Okay.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 21, 2018, 09:14:02 AM
Agreed on that last post. Part of the reason I love ICW so much (and why Defiant is growing on me) is that finishes aren't always built around move exchanges. I feel like an entire generation of talent saw Bryan doing suplexes and dives and forget that one of his biggest moves was an inside cradle.

I haven't gotten to much modern stuff, not yet anyway. Got a good match for some introduction?
Ehhhh...I won't lie and say that ICW puts on great matches. They don't. I'd say half their core roster is pretty lousy, actually. The booking and overall feel, though, makes up for it.

Here's a promo package for one of the main matches at Fear & Loathing (their biggest show) a couple years back. It's what made me check more of their stuff out and then subscribe to their VOD service.
https://youtu.be/-sDQZ8j3w0g

I'll give it a look, probably. To be honest I just gotta be in the right mood for a lot of that stuff.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 21, 2018, 11:06:42 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNSAfYmhMiU

So I had YouTube on in the background while I was doing stuff (it's usually music), and caught enough of this to be interested. Zero-One MAX was a promotion I remember hearing some decent buzz about years and years ago, and a lot of guys I really liked (Otani, Masato Tanaka, Corino, etc) worked it.

--I like Kensuke Sasaki. I really do, as unpopular as it might be. That being said, I don't think he's the flaw in this match.

--Super Face Otani is weird and wrong somehow. It's like a totally different guy, and I know ten years is a long time, but the difference feels vast compared to Low-Key Expressionless Dismantler Otani of the old days. That guy at least could sell a fucking leg for 15 goddamn minutes. That kind of thing usually never bugs me unless it's crazy blatant, like this is.

--I LOVE the look of the show. Bright colors and flashbulbs and fans who seem to enjoy being there instead of being there to try and get people to enjoy them.

I gotta say, as ridiculous as wrestling is, it's fun going through the years and locations and all that stuff.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 22, 2018, 12:39:14 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_QCvynojtc

More specifically BG James/Syxx Pac/Hennig vs Jarrett/Truth/Brian Lawler. Main event anywhere in the world.

--Truth was the fucking man for a while. It's forgotten after all these years but Truth was literally seen as the future. First guy in forever to deserve the NWA title and give it a little credibility.

--Hennig would be dead in like three months. Maybe it's my failing memory but he looked much better during his last WWF run than here, and it'd been less than six months. His face has a gut. He's game, but man, the spirit's willing but the flesh is weak. All that said I can't say he wasn't a get for TNA in the early days, and his tights rule here.

--Waltman still had it. Weird seeing a crowd into him, but then I'm not sure how much of the crowd is legit. My memories of the Asylum crowd, though, was when Jingus or whoever would go every week and bring TSM-related signs. Anyone else remember that?

--Fucking Brian Lawler is the weakest guy there, or at least neck-and-neck with fat Road Dogg. Him being in the main event is literally a case of taking someone's spot. I have no idea who could've filled that spot, but their roster had to have someone they could elevate or at least rely on enough to not be fucking Brian Lawler.

--Road Dog looks awful, yeah, but I'm more annoyed at the stupid bleached hair and stupid goatee thing. Dude can be a bowling-pin looking rider of the past all he wants, but was 2002 still doing that shit?

--And more Mr. Wrestling Hooded Gimmick. I just always assume people in masks are Jack Victory so hey.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 22, 2018, 01:04:05 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqC0Ni5QmTw&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=71

GREATEST THING TNA EVER DID.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 22, 2018, 03:18:13 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAeMNScjpyw

The Nigerian Legend himself, Power Uti. I remember him from Foley's first book and from (I think) a Cliff Compton interview. Wanted to see him for years, just because. I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at. It isn't the shitty quality but how it's shot. The hard camera feels on the wrong side, to put it lightly. I'll also say the ring looks CRAZY unsafe.

So basically Uti just says "fuck it" and won't sell anything while Gallows winds up selling everything like a shotgun blast (and tripping on a stomp, which I'm blaming on the ring). But Uti, old and smaller, won't give Gallows ANYTHING. He won't even get thrown out of the ring; best stop is Gallows trying to toss him through the ropes but Uti just slowly and calmly crawling out and standing up, waiting for the next spot.

I get the feeling this Uti is kind of a douchebag.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 22, 2018, 03:25:34 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vG44yROKKX8

There's some ugly. I won't say Uti wasn't talented, or at least state-of-the-art.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 22, 2018, 03:54:22 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxDAsqgtEjM&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1805

Poffo's ICW. Opens with backstage interviewer Elizabeth. I have never heard her say so much.

I am expecting this to be the best thing ever. And just as I say that Savage makes tons of gay jokes. A Savage/Street match might mostly my alley, maybe, but I'm a big fan of both guys and have unrealistic expectations.

Savage responds to Street's stalling by jumping into the front row, stealing a seat and a guy's hat and camera to troll Street. This is already my shit. Adrian Street deserves to be in the Hall of Fame more than most. He changed the business and also is the worst Facebook friend one could have. And motherfucker was in Pasolini's Canterbury Tales and no one else can say that.

Miss Linda was a great heel manager. Sherri but with less mercy.

Double count out? Fuck off with that.

Can't stress enough how scary fast Savage was, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 23, 2018, 10:57:21 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRolJEzOgDg&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1&t=14s

It looks and sounds like a shitty indie match, but I'm kind of amazed it's a thing more than anything.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 23, 2018, 11:31:50 AM
(http://middlekingdomwrestling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/mkw-2107-1024x1024.jpg)

KING OF MAN
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 23, 2018, 11:46:34 AM
If there's a weird timestamp it's a misnomer. I've watched this a couple times. Everything before the actual match starts is the best.

King of Man is NXT bound. Just wait.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 23, 2018, 01:40:09 PM
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4629de

I only got the first show because I didn't think there'd be a second. Gauntlet for the Gold.

This will be a long, tedious wall of text.

--Starts with a Toby Keith music video, followed immediately by Toby Keith wanting to put his boot in some terrorist ass. Looks embarrassed to be there, for some reason. This was in, what, Alabama? I have to fuck with the TV volume because I feel like a goddamn choad having this being played. I'm actually sorry he's still alive. I really am. That might be the drugs talking, though.

--Daddy Jeff interrupts and becomes the best man in the world. He's number one in this, so go fake Rumble. Buff Bagwell is second! This is a dream come true. So Jarrett eliminates him immediately after taking the Blockbuster. Aw. Bagwell was the PERFECT early TNA guy and it's a shame he never came back.

--Lash LeRoux is #3! Fucking YES. Ginger muffin top and all, I love the guy. One of those I figured would succeed a little bit after WCW, not have his highlight be Jarrett eliminating him in this stupid thing. Not a LOT but a solid regional guy who would, like, put over Jimmy Rave all the time.

--The timing is all over the place. Like every elimination skips the clock ahead to the next guy. It's like old SNES WWF games.

--#4 is Norman Smiley. Jarrett is kicking this Thunder taping's ass. Big Wiggle is the most over thing so far, so of course he's out. Norman never got his due.

--#5 is Apolo, that roided up dude from Puerto Rico they brought in a few times to fail and cost himself a WWE deal by, I think, getting arrested for something or another. He's actually sicking around, and looks as good as I remember him. He's just A Big Guy.

--#6 is Truth. Truth beats the fuck out of Apolo and Don West is all "Welcome to America, Apolo!" and man, they were totally a hick promotion. Also Ed Ferrara is in the booth. Ha. So near as I can tell, Jarrett's Dibiase and Truth is Savage. If they legit had Piper and Roberts next, that would be cool.

--#7 is Slash, one of the most underrated guys of the early days. Satanic heels are always good, honestly, but the New Church was awesome. James Mitchell is with him. I miss Slash.

--#7 is Del Rios, and he's dressed EXACTLY like Scott Steiner to troll the crowd. Phantasio's lamest trick. No eliminations for a while. Fuck's Apolo still doing in there? Or Del Rios, even? Del Rios immediately just joins the clogging. I turn to find my headphones because I'm now paranoid about the TV volume.

--#8 is Justice, the future Abyss, looking like Rhino and somehow shorter than he is now. Never would've thought this doughy goon would be, technically, the longest tenured guy in the company. Some average power stuff while the announcers put him over. The crowd only knows two guys of the six, and they kinda check out a little until

--#9: Konnan. If they'd been able, or wanted to, or whatever, they had a decent main event scene. Yeah it's WCW castoffs, but they're the guys my friends always liked and never saw again at the time. TNA's biggest problem throughout their existence has been having no idea how to actually promote things in a large fashion. The fans at my school would've bought the shit outta this. Once.

--#10 is...Joel Gertner?! Wait. Ohhh right, they had him managing the Rainbow Express (Lenny Lane and Bruce aka Kwee Wee). Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? I mean Gertner managing the gay stereotypes has a level of potential, I guess, but Russo. Bruce is the guy going in to join the castaways and the default CAWs. Wikipedia says he got his face basically caved in by Sonny Siaki. Talk about a cursed guy, that Siaki.

--Anyway #11 is Rick Steiner. He kills everyone with Steinerlines, including Del Rios lol. He takes out Slash and Justice and is inexplicably looking like a star, in the sense that he's doing stuff. Wrestling in a shirt, too.

--#12 is Malice, or the Wall, or dead, whichever. Looks TOTALLY different from the Wall. Chokeslams anything that moves, and clears the ring save for Jarrett and goddamn Apolo. Malice never looked all that healthy. I mean he was a really good monster but he looked like a monster with problems. Wikipedia lists his death as just a heart attack with nothing in his system, like seven months after this. Didn't know it was that soon.

--#13 is Scott Hall. Hall and Jarrett always had good chemistry. "Recently left the WWF by mutual agreement," says Tenay. Oh my sweet summer child. He's horrible here, and it breaks my heart because I've always loved Hall. Jarrett gets the Razor's Edge, though.

--Toby Keith comes out, gives Jarrett the safest suplex I've ever seen, and Jarrett gets tossed by Hall. Keith then follows Jarrett to the back. I don't get Jarrett being a heel on this one. He got fucking robbed by a cheating musician of dubious quality.

--Chris Harris makes his debut, and right after is Gangrel with no regard to the clock. Harris had something about him, he really did, but he was destined for Braden Walker. Such is life. Gangrel again is another guy they should've hung onto. Couldn't hurt. Guy was consistent, for whatever that's worth.

--#16 is Devon Storm. Fuck that guy. Last thing I want is an anti-vax, goth-looking Doug Walker hanging around. He and Harris have an okay sequence in the corner, but fuck him. Hall chills in another corner like anyone smart would.

--#17: Steve Corino. I honestly thought Corino would at least be an upper-card heel for them. Former NWA Champion, toured Japan, had become a very consistent guy, just seemed natural. I think he only came back one other time to get murdered by a Harris brother or something.

--#18 is Ken Shamrock, with the Wolverine sideburns and juiced to the gills. The result feels kind of obvious at this point. They should've had the balls to put the belt on the Iron Man Apolo.

--#19 is Brian Christopher. That's lovely. He's in his Grandmaster Sexxaay gear and promptly dumps Harris, Storm, and Gangrel. The fuck, man? Then he gets Corino out! The FUCK, man? Now they all surround Brian and Apolo eliminates him. I can't think of anyone who is less of a threat than Brian Christopher, especially in there with guys like Malice, Hall, and Shamrock.

--Apolo is gone. Second largest tragedy in Puerto Rico history.

--Oh so Toby Keith was an entry, and now it's a one on one match between Shamrock and Malice with Ricky Steamboat as the ref. Malice should've gotten the belt. He's been kind of a star and busted his ass. This final part with Shamrock makes him look awesome. Takes Shamrock's best shots and submissions...right before a belly-to-belly to end it.

Some shit goes down with Jarrett and Keith and Hall and Jackie Fargo, but whatever. I'm bolting.

TLDR: it's the first TNA show's main event, crowns a new NWA champion, has heavy Toby Keith involvment, and I made a sandwich around the time Del Rios got tossed.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Epic Reine on January 23, 2018, 01:53:47 PM
The New Church didn't click for me until they got Brian Lee. Killdozer is an underrated ring moniker.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 23, 2018, 02:47:32 PM
It is. Lee was fire during that run, too. Wish he'd stuck around.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on January 23, 2018, 02:58:02 PM
Killdozer was an accidental moniker, too. He was "Bulldozer" Brian Lee when he joined and Don West screwed up a line. He was trying to say something like "'Bulldozer' Brian Lee is killing this guy," but it came out along "'Killdozer' Brian Lee...he's killing him." Then fans caught on and he was officially KILLDOZER within a couple weeks.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 24, 2018, 01:30:57 PM
Doctors shouldn't make you worry. That's the ultimate pokerface job. Fuck.

Speaking of making me worry, welcome to Korea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiJaNAKgyDY&index=17&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

You got the guy in the trunks who at least went to one class for half an hour, but watched a lot of shit. You got the guy in the shirt who has zero training. You got the ref who is A Heel. Shirt Guy shouldn't have been there, or at least been told how to jump for power moves. There's a kick right to the back of the head and a butterfly suplex/Pedigree move --the lift by the arms thing-- where he forces, accidental or not, to have the other guy try to deadlift him. That kinda shit freaks me out, as a person with bone problems.
Title: Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: The Valeyard on January 25, 2018, 06:16:57 AM
Crusher Blackwell might be the best super fat dude in history.

Also if some mod just change the title to Sick Guy Watches Random Shit or something, I'd appreciate it. Sporadic died when I got less to do.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit on YouTube
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on January 25, 2018, 07:44:03 AM
I don't know who is telling you Kensuke is unpopular but he's fucking awesome and a lot of people love his work at least in the later part of his career. If you want to have a blast find anything involving Kensuke and the Florida Brothers in Toryumon. Fantastic comedy.

Backlund/Sasuke is for sure out of the ordinary for BattleArts. It's generally more wrestling as mma type stuff.

if you're watching AJPW stuff then I hope you're checking out the 6 man tags and not just the big singles/tags because you need to see the wonder that is Kikuchi babyface-in-peril.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 25, 2018, 01:53:35 PM
Lotta just residual hate from his WCW run in a lot of people, I guess. I think goodhelment or one of the old old dudes ragged on him enough to where it felt like popular opinion. Dude's great, though, and unlike a lot of guys just has that presence to him. Easy to see why he was a fake Road Warrior, you know? But I've liked the guy since tapes of the long past. Some guys are just fun to watch.

The wrestling-as-MMA "shoot" promotions interest me, but so far they all just make me want to watch MMA. Wasn't that basically what killed them off in the mid-90s?

The AJPW stuff is pretty much be fucking around. Started as me jonesing for some Kawada and remembering some stuff I hadn't seen in years, then has been going everywhere since. There's been a couple, but I need to see more six man stuff. I LOVE six man tags as a general rule. Frankly there's no excuse why I haven't yet  beyond just rabbit-holing into other international stuff.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 25, 2018, 03:00:04 PM
if you're watching AJPW stuff then I hope you're checking out the 6 man tags and not just the big singles/tags because you need to see the wonder that is Kikuchi babyface-in-peril.

Is this a good example? Because I dug literally everything in this match.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry-RAjlWvbc

Everyone was on fire and I could watch Fuchi just beat the shit outta Kobashi all the time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on January 25, 2018, 11:16:49 PM
yeah that's a really good one. Jumbo is probably my favourite wrestler. Fuchi as the nasty old vet is beautiful. The reason the Worked-shoot companies died off in the mid-90's was more internal issues I think because the worked shoot stuff was still really big into the 00's. I'm not really an expert on them though by any means because I'm not a big fan of worked-shoot with a few exceptions.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 26, 2018, 03:31:10 PM
I just remember I stopped hearing about a lot of the "shoot" promotions when they went all-in on Pride. I don't think I get it, but it looks like a gateway to freakshows. Guess you just had to be there.

I'm just going to go on a mad tear of random six-mans now. I'm curious do see how things are/were done through history and location and all that.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 27, 2018, 02:44:37 AM
Alright, so that said, I went in the opposite direction last night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pKKKu7E6LM&t=477s

This put me to sleep around 2 this morning. Inner Child always wondered why a Diesel/Yoko program never happened. Outer Adult is happy this did the long-needed job of being every bit as bad as I worried it would be. The cage actively handicapped everything, although that in mind I don't know if I'd rather watch two big dudes lay down for 15+ minutes or see Diesel in a nerve hold for 15+ minutes.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 28, 2018, 03:08:57 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF-xCVdSNc8&index=10&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

This is good fun.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 29, 2018, 02:02:01 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asVZypCp0Sw

The first two and a half minutes sees a pretty bloated looking Vader coming out to less-bloated-somehow Dusty's generic redneck theme and Dusty threatening Desire (valet of Sonny Siaki) with an "ass pounding" after the match. This also runs longer than the "five minutes of stalling with a bullshit finish) I was expecting (it goes maybe six), however it's an interesting thesis on Hicks vs Nazis as well as Hicks Rubbing the Ass of Attractive Young Women Before He Spanks Them With a Belt.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 01, 2018, 11:45:12 AM
Edouard Carpentier was the shit. Talk about a guy before his time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on February 01, 2018, 11:54:36 AM
Edouard Carpentier was the shit. Talk about a guy before his time.

I remember learning about him on here when we were in one of those draft frenzies years ago and someone put him in their promotion.  Any specific recommendations to check out?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 01, 2018, 12:23:36 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0-mrUgkiJA

About an hour and 27 minutes in. It isn't a great match, but it's where I started. Joe Nova is a fat stall machine black hole, but Carpentier don't give a fuck and bounces around while working snug and selling like a Road Warrior. Even at this point in his career, he feels ten years early.

This whole show is a fucking blast. The 70s MSG shows are so much fun. I've become a bit of a Bruno guy.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on February 01, 2018, 12:40:53 PM
cool, thanks

I haven't seen too much Bruno myself so I may just have to find time to watch this whole show
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 01, 2018, 12:45:27 PM
Bruno/Sprios Arion is right before this. I like both guys. Bruno is just a "I'm going to maul you and kick your ass" guy, and that's my kinda guy. The cage match with Hansen is awesome.

I think this is on the Network. Or it was. The 70s MSG shows feel so different to the 80s ones. I much prefer the atmosphere of the 70s shows than the 80s and beyond ones.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 02, 2018, 10:37:41 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upmlCT4gKNE&t=1859s

Masato Tanaka looks like a goddamn junior. Kojima is an old favorite, as is Tenzan, but the latter seems off. There's some ugly with Tenzan and Otani. Solid match, though. Tanaka and Otani work well together, but again, Super Face Otani is weird.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 02, 2018, 02:18:17 PM
Masato Tanaka is a freak of goddamn nature. After all the deathmatches and huuuuuge bumps? STILL going strong.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 03, 2018, 04:07:53 AM
He's in the Jerry Lynn Hall of Under Appreciated Workers.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 04, 2018, 05:05:35 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5nhXj-PQLQ

Yeah, green-as-grass Nash and Liger teaming up. Norton can do everything Nash can do, just way better. The Liger/Norton sequences are great, it's just Nash sucking the decent out of things when he's in there that's the problem. Saito feels like a warm body, designed to just take the fall. That said it ends just as it feels like it gets going, and that's bittersweet to me because I wanted to see Nash at least break a sweat. Scott Norton is a GOAT big man, though. Best part is Liger going to the second rope to tag Nash in.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 04, 2018, 05:33:03 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeTRePr3Ci8

That's what's up.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 04, 2018, 05:53:35 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujLycJB-Bbg

Precious little Freddie Blassie is out there, but in this ten minutes, everything is awesome. Every hold matters, which makes every rope break matter. One guy could give up at any time. No one really kicks out of a pin so much as just fighting to get a shoulder up. Red gets the heel thing, and it takes so little to make it work. The pacing is pitch perfect for the time. There's even a botch they cover up pretty well. I feel like a lot of people today could learn from ten minutes like this. It's a really good little sliver of a match.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 04, 2018, 02:40:00 PM
Due to not being able to watch the Soup like a real American, I watched some Herb Abrams' UWF. Fuck that show.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 05, 2018, 11:44:49 AM
TNA's best forgotten moment is totally Mike Sanders vs Jonah the Tough Enough Runner Up.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 05, 2018, 03:45:43 PM
After bouncing around the years with him, I can say Owen is my favorite Hart.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 06, 2018, 10:03:28 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULMTDt8U4XY

I have nothing beyond love for Alexis "Mickie James" Laree during the Not Flock period. Julio Dinero is way worse than I remember him, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 06, 2018, 03:15:11 PM
Why is it people don't like Alex Wright again? Just bad timing with the Eddies and Deans and Benoits all coming in at once?

Also in case I forgot to before, major shoutout to Monsoon Classic. Most fun wrestling channel there is.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on February 07, 2018, 02:22:35 AM
Who hates Alex Wright??? I enjoyed the majority of his WCW run up until his run as Berlyn. By the time that gimmick failed and he shaved his head in the company's dying days, that's when I lost interest. I still think the Berlyn debut was pretty badass, though.

The Dancing Fools tag team with Disco in '98 was perfect mid-card comedy fodder. Especially when Tokyo Magnum joined!
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 07, 2018, 08:48:03 AM
Dude gets shit from people, somehow, pre-Berlyn. I really liked the guy during his "I am a young German guy" phase, but it feels like he gets weird undue grief or apathy. He and Disco were by far one of the best things about the dying days. But Wright just seems like he never gets his due, and I think a lot of that is just being lost in the cruiserweight shuffle, no matter how awesome he got or how much better a dancer than he was than the Nitro Girls.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on February 07, 2018, 08:54:49 AM
He also disappeared right after WCW went under. He saved his money and pretty much retired, opening a wrestling school back in Germany. Had he still competed, I bet he'd be held in a higher regard. He was in a WWE video a few years ago, visiting the performance center:

http://www.wwe.com/videos/catching-up-with-alex-wright-at-the-wwe-performance-center
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 07, 2018, 09:14:13 AM
NXT needs an evil German stable.

Fake edit: I'll never feel the quite the same disappointment as I did when Beryn or the Wall wasn't Ludvig Borga. Fuck Finland, wrestling knows no borders.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 07, 2018, 01:59:31 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN3MopWUFxU

Destiny.

It wasn't that Jarrett won, it was that he didn't put Raven over. I thought going in that this would be first in a series leading to a cage match, because that made sense. Made more than Jeff Jarrett, of all people, beating roughly eight other people after taking a hilarious shit-kicking. You can arguably trace every horrible decision TNA made back to this. The one time they knew exactly what everyone wanted, and told the fans to fuck themselves. The build was awesome, the match (before the bullshit schmozz) was good, but Raven got killed dead and never recovered. Jarrett dropped the belt a few weeks later to AJ Styles in a triple threat with Raven (who got fucked again, but I can't remember who did it). If Jarrett had just made Raven SEEM like the ultimate threat, the ONE guy willing to sacrifice everything, the ONE guy who would do whatever it took to have the belt he came into the company for, Jarrett winning --in a competitive, no/minimal bullshit match-- setting up something would've been fine. But he straight cut Raven off at the knees, made him look like a joke, and the Asylum years never recovered. He didn't have to win, he just had to put him over.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 07, 2018, 02:23:03 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsN4IPSBYgU

Anyway, here's my homegirl Barbara Clary promoting the impending Florida debut of the Great Kabuki. The video package has Bruiser Brody getting one of the first mistings in the US (I assume) and actually losing by pinfall. That's basically it, but I just like Barbara Clary a lot so it was all a bonus.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 07, 2018, 03:48:33 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc1aHl7rFno&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=26


Haku murdering "Rapid Delivery" Rory Fox just felt like a nice space-filler.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 08, 2018, 12:05:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhWGt-wuuYE

I know fuck all about Danny Boy Collins, but dude can take a beating. Finlay's kinda settled into full Fit Finlay mode, just faster. Finish is lame, but I really liked a lot of it. Finlay beating the shit outta dudes and fairly well-timed comebacks are what it's all about. The cage is way too loose, though, to where I had a little concern for them both. Made for some okay spots, yeah, but it looked like it was just way too wobbly.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 08, 2018, 03:25:03 PM
Is this 90-minute Aries/Bryan ROH match actually good or is it two really good guys just jerking each other off for 90 minutes?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 11, 2018, 11:55:52 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pjW_Lnb59I

How the fuck does XPW have the balls to do a Dusty Finish? I'm happy Shane was mobile, and I never cared one way or another for Justin Credible, but what the fuck? Match was odd, anyway. Felt much more like a WCW hardcore match, right down to the lack of blood. I'm sure, like always, I'm missing storyline and context and things of that nature, but it's the lamest XPW match I've ever seen. I went in expecting either bad or pleasant surprise, but this is just lame.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 11, 2018, 12:01:19 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOFryWbYLH0

Waltman was ten years before his time. He's incredible. Seeing this makes me wonder how Chaz didn't get in the WWF and how Waltman didn't get in WCW, just because it seems like the way the world worked. All I even know about Chaz Taylor is that he was in that skydiving match, and I'm pleasantly surprised to see he's a fun watch. Waltman was next-level, though. My pre-123 Kid Waltman experience is very limited, so maybe I'm overstating, but he was fun stuff. That's gotta be Raven in the booth, too, and he's a blast.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 11, 2018, 02:42:50 PM
Was Takeshi Rikio like Misawa's nephew or something? I admit he's being surrounded by a dream roster, but he has no business being out there with some of these guys. Maybe I'm missing the goof. Does he get better or even interesting?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on February 11, 2018, 02:46:51 PM
no he doesn;t. He was a traditional heavyweight and that was about all he had going for him. And by the time they put the belt on him it was too late as well. NOAH had no skill at all with building talent up. Akiyama was never as big as he should have been either. They tried several times to make him the new ace but he wasn't accepted as above Kobashi/Misawa.

That said Noah up to  late 2005ish is one of the best runs of a company I've watched. Lots of great matches and Kobashi's giant title run is the ace run to end all ace runs. Once the wheels started to come off though it wasn't pretty and it's only the last two years or so they've started to really build it up again into a fun company.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 12, 2018, 06:35:06 AM
I'm really digging the NOAH I've found. It felt really special. Rikio is the fist guy I've seen so far who just totally put me off. Was there really no one else at all to put the belt on? Akiyama's become my homie and it's a shame he didn't click as should've, but World Champion Rikio is bullshit in any context.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on February 12, 2018, 06:43:41 AM
Rikio was the chosen one. The only other home grown young heavy at the time was Morishima and he was just returning from injury (I think on the show Rikio won the title). KENTA and Marufuji were juniors and it would take Rikio failing and the older generations bodies totally falling apart for them to even get a whiff at the main event.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 12, 2018, 11:24:54 AM
So what happened? Did he hang onto it until one of the old guard got it, or Morishima, and is it a reign worth looking into?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 12, 2018, 11:30:08 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44EDO65cP8c&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=2

I know Flair was a big Alex Wright supporter, and he makes him look really good here. Wright wasn't ready for much beyond this at the time, but he looks as good as a green guy can look.But it's the fact Flair made him look like a threat, maybe not the BIGGEST threat, but he made a cruiserweight dude look like he could possibly beat a heavyweight. It's no HHH/Taka, but it's a really fun little match. Heenan on commentary is gold, too. Flair always brought the best out of Heenan.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on February 12, 2018, 11:41:12 AM
So what happened? Did he hang onto it until one of the old guard got it, or Morishima, and is it a reign worth looking into?

Nothing really interesting. They went back to the old guys for the next 3 years except for a 3 month Marufuji reign.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 13, 2018, 12:54:14 PM
Yeah, I remember peripherally keep up in NOAH and the Marufuji win was treated like a big deal, if I remember right.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 13, 2018, 01:16:13 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puvoFQ3afg0&index=131&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

They had WCW matches on Heat during the Invasion? I mean I'm not shocked or anything, but it didn't occur to me the b-shows got involved in this experiment. I was trying to listen to the canned heat, and as someone with bad hearing it just sounded all over the place. All the guys bust their ass to their expected ability, but it certainly came off like O'Haire and Kanyon were the stars. Kanyon and Stasiak didn't look too bad as a team, either, all things considered. Palumbo and O'Haire, though, were fine, but damn I miss Jindrak and O'Haire.  Scott Hudson is a really good announcer, too. Arn Anderson is a really shitty color guy. But holy fuck, man, O'Haire had It more than pretty much anyone at the time. Finish to the match is a fucking F-5! This was pretty fun and a total time piece.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on February 13, 2018, 02:06:41 PM
Yeah, I remember peripherally keep up in NOAH and the Marufuji win was treated like a big deal, if I remember right.

Marufuji was also the company VP, so it's good to have power.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 14, 2018, 06:33:48 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBhvYTYL0d8

Now this is my shit. Whole show is on the Network somewhere, but I thought this was a fever dream. Vince calling a Brody vs babyface Sullivan match in MSG is surreal as it gets to me. I'll always feel bad we never got Brody/Hogan with Brody just destroying him and everyone flipping out.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 15, 2018, 03:38:33 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuBnxXyExo0&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=52

Some dude on the old board, and I'm sure others elsewhere, were 100% convinced Punk/Doane would main event a Wrestlemania. One OVW's bigger success stories taking on Punk, who was on his way to being Punk. Hell of an ECW title match, I guess. But this is a match I look at more as a period of change. Heyman ran OVW, Vince deciding he wanted evil male cheerleaders, Punk being all bloated and ready for the big leagues-- a lot was going down. I'm not even 100% sure Eddie was dead or not. Punk acted pretty embarrassed to being in the same arena as the Squad, but the Squad were awesome. Why they didn't just them become hardcore asshole frat jocks led by Doane and his natural Billy Zabka charisma seemed couldn't miss. Doane looked quite good, but a lot of that is probably because Punk seemed just like he hated every minute being out there with that circus. Have no idea what that ending is all about, but it got Mikey Batts namedropped and that's all that matters.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: God King Emperor Kamala on February 15, 2018, 04:18:33 PM
I think Spirit Squad, in concept, was actually a good idea. A stable of deadeyed loud mouth, sociopathic frat boys is a great idea and there were moments where it almost seemed like they were going for that.

Most of the time though their character arcs seemed to be "HAH! GAYYYY! GET 'EM DX!"
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 16, 2018, 08:58:40 AM
Them being the McMahon's meat-shield always confused me. Kenny could've been something, maybe not a top guy, but absolutely hit the same ceiling as Dolph. They could've been one of the better stables of the era if they were just evil fratboy male cheerleaders, hazing the Colin Delaney's of the world until they snap.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 16, 2018, 09:13:13 AM
"Wrestling frat boy douchebags" is so great a concept that it's a shame we've gotten so few of them.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 16, 2018, 09:13:53 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gk6l1_wgvU&t=289s

Based on the Coliseum Video thread, here's some youngish Judo Alfred Hayes. Guy could bring it, but I bet he had the Valentine "takes him an hour to get warmed up" thing going. Match gets more and more fun as it goes. I've really gotten to like watching the crowds at these World of Sport/classic English shows. Suits and ties, women dressed like they're going to the theatre, the politest cheers and boos there is. It's very comforting and classy. All I need is a Blackadder gimmick and I'll never watch anything else again.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 16, 2018, 09:18:32 AM
"Wrestling frat boy douchebags" is so great a concept that it's a shame we've gotten so few of them.

That they had Swagger, Ryder, and Dolph all at once and didn't make them Greek Freebirds is a shame.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 16, 2018, 03:52:39 PM
I don't think I get lucha libre and that makes me kinda sad, to tell you the truth. Matches here and there I like a lot, but the rest is just candy-colored mediocrity (except for any and all midgets because dude).
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: God King Emperor Kamala on February 17, 2018, 01:31:20 PM
"Wrestling frat boy douchebags" is so great a concept that it's a shame we've gotten so few of them.

That they had Swagger, Ryder, and Dolph all at once and didn't make them Greek Freebirds is a shame.
Ryback would've been great as the Ogre of the stable. And oh shit, EC3 was on the roster at the same time as those guys at one point too. damn. Huge missed opportunity.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on February 17, 2018, 01:43:53 PM
I said for a long time that they should have done a frat douche stable with Ryback and Axel and someone else back in that whole time period. You could probably still do a gimmick along those lines but not as naturally.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 17, 2018, 03:29:18 PM
Ryback Ogre = new boom period.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 18, 2018, 01:21:48 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugald9uvNww&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

I know it wasn't common practice to make a light weight look like he can hang with the big dudes, but holy shit. Benoit's solely there because he's good enough to buy as a threat and willing to take the scariest movie there is. He and Norton didn't have a lot in the way of chemistry, but this wouldn't be a fair match to judge such things. How Norton didn't make it big as a monster badass here, I'll never know, but what I do know is my love/hate Rick Steiner relationship has for now swung back to love based on his facial expressions and shit talking. I liked this, but at the same time it felt more like simming a Fire Pro match than watching an actual match.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 20, 2018, 01:32:28 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Jrl-i-FVM&t=532s

I tapped early, however:

Shane cuts what amounts to a family-friendly promo on Flair.
A mummified Bobby Fulton coming out to "Eye of the Tiger," then stumbling over a promo.
Road Warrior Animal is seconding Fulton, but is announced as Road Runner Animal, which visibly angers him and causes him to announce himself.
Audience rules.

It was very sad seeing this, but whatever, I'm not in the best of moods. How terrifying to think that 25 years ago, this would probably have been pretty decent. Now I'm old.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 21, 2018, 02:48:05 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L03LrZdRsI

What cool babyface story that would never work today. See, Bob Backlund is "The People's Champ," so he carries around title belts made by kids because he's such a good guy. That could only work with Angle in 2000, or Bayley in 2015. I love it.

I also fucking LOVE the Unpredictable Johnny Rodz. He was the perfect low-card guy, heel version of SD Jones, but more unpredictable.

The announcing is also really good. Guy puts everything over exactly the right way, from Backlund's loss to the Sheik (and how he should face Hogan) to just important and prestigious wrestling in ICW was.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 28, 2018, 01:48:31 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfpTylKeHsM&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=255&t=0s

Always thought they'd bring Quake back, just for a bit, in 2001. He looked in great shape and had fire here. Crowd knew who he was. Could've had a resurgence like Boss Man did, been the b-show bulldozer during the Invasion for whatever side. He had, what, five more years?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on February 28, 2018, 01:52:15 PM
I remember being pumped when I heard Earthquake was working dark matches.  I thought there was something that derailed him coming back but I can't find anything.  Had just read the other day about a Regal-Golga match that went unaired in Fall of 98 because Regal smacked him so hard the mask came off and the crowd kept chanting for Earthquake.

Also, never saw the post-MSP Joe Abs.  Can't help but laugh at the Bushwackers look.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 28, 2018, 01:59:54 PM
They probably were just touchy about nostalgia acts then. Maybe? But he could've absolutely fit somewhere. He looked really good there, though. Thinking now there's all kinds of shit I didn't even think about that I really want. HurriQuake would've been a fine midcard act, for one.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 01, 2018, 12:52:42 PM
It's funny. The more you just jump around the history or the modern stuff you miss or what have you, you really begin to appreciate what an art this wrestling thing is. Like, you watch even some squash with two guys, you really can put in perspective just how fucking hard they work. Sabu is spotty in every sense of the word, yeah, but man he works hard at it. Guys like Misawa who break their chopping guys and still going 30+ minutes. I dunno. I've gained a new respect for the sheer effort these guys in general put into what they do. It makes me like this silly sport all the more.

Now I can see what Ted Arcidi matches are out there.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: A FUCKIN' TEN on March 01, 2018, 01:16:05 PM
I remember being pumped when I heard Earthquake was working dark matches.  I thought there was something that derailed him coming back but I can't find anything.  Had just read the other day about a Regal-Golga match that went unaired in Fall of 98 because Regal smacked him so hard the mask came off and the crowd kept chanting for Earthquake.

Also, never saw the post-MSP Joe Abs.  Can't help but laugh at the Bushwackers look.

Have you been following the Observer Rewind posts on reddit, by any chance?  Because I also just read about the incident with Regal there within the last few days.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 02, 2018, 02:45:43 PM
I might need to rewatch the gimmick battle royal again solely because I want to see who was trying to get a job. I remember a lot of those guys, Quake included, being in really good shape.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2018, 09:52:30 AM
Whatever, fuck it. The TNA Twitch channel is showing some ancient Impacts. Hype ads for Turning Point! Kings of Wrestling! Savage! DDP! That fucking awesome XXX/AMW cage match!

Basically the match I've caught, though, is Jeff Jarrett/Monty Brown, another decision that ruined many choices. Monty spent forever going for the belt, finally got a shot at Jarrett, and got on one their Fox Sports show. Match quality in itself is secondary, honestly, like a lot of these Jarrett main events. It's good though. Not great, but for a TV match that aired at like noon on a Friday, it isn't like you need to be Shawn Michaels to satisfy people like me.

The whole point was Monty going over. That's it. Dude was the right guy at the right time, and was arguably their best chance to be a breakout star. He had It. The entire build was, like all the other times, a foregone conclusion that he'd go over and defend the title against (apparently) Abyss at the PPV-- a show where Jarrett was in a tag match and didn't need the title whatsoever. So naturally Jarrett wins with the help of Scott Hall (the Kings of Wrestling period was fucking awesome though because Hall, Nash, and Jarrett dressed as Elvis is money).

Monty just got damaged beyond repair and became a really over afterthought. World should've gotten him and Scott Steiner for months, man. Never got why they didn't at least pretend to go back to him more. Guy had, what, three more years? Bullshit.

I forgot how much I miss the POUNCE.

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on March 03, 2018, 10:01:30 AM
I remember reading all the Monty Brown hype without ever really getting to see it at the time.  I remember trying to follow TNA but mostly hearing complaints about Truth or Monty not being pushed as they should.  I remember getting my first opportunity to get TNA DVDs around Fall 2005, then sealing my fandom with them when Christian showed up and was pushed as I was a big Christian mark and pissed he didn't get the main event rub in WWE.

I always enjoyed Monty when I saw the matches retroactively and rooted for him in WWE until he decided to leave.  Probably one of the biggest "What Ifs" in wrestling for that 2000s decade.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2018, 10:14:05 AM
I didn't get it at the time, really. I didn't think he had much to offer, especially on what was really a stacked roster. I figured all the praise people had for him was kind of as a process of elimination thing because they had Jarrett, Hall, Nash, DDP, ghost of Randy Savage, shitty Jeff Hardy, etc. on top and internet never liked nostalgia acts and I was internet. At some point I got it, and was just as mad as everyone. Total shame he didn't get at least some kind of belt from somewhere. He was something different, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 05, 2018, 05:52:59 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkYkeQ_yYfY

Homegirl Barbara Clary and Gordon Solie talk to Hulk Hogan about his feud with Jerry Lawler in Florida. Hearing Hogan talk about the NWA board is weirder than hearing the classic early "stilted half-Thunderlips" promo before he got it.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 06, 2018, 09:47:00 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mii12XhmZMM&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Vietcong Express #1 is Hiroshi Hase. It's hard go wrong. Johnny Smith seems to be trying to be both Bulldogs at once at times, but mostly feels like a lightweight Davey Boy. Regardless, this is a pretty solid little match. Stampede is really easy to watch. That said, why does a promotion based out of Calgary have red, white, and blue ropes?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 06, 2018, 10:37:21 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68grGOlVDHw&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

RVD looks like a goof and Sabu was Sabu (or Samu...), and the match is by 1991 standards pretty cool. If I'd seen it as a kid, I'd be pissed not having these guys around when the Iron Sheik was back on TV and getting a push. But this has to be the first televised match with them, and they didn't look too bad. I always thought they had chemistry (HUGE soft spot for their stretcher match in ECW talking, though). Also, I have no idea who the guy doing color is, but he sounds exactly like what I'd imagine a southern David Letterman would sound like.

There's also a bonus recap of a cage match between Jeff Jarrett and Robert Fuller against Sabu and his partner Judge Dredd (who just looks like Some Guy). Young Jarrett was fucking spry and actually looked like a star. He also gives both Sabu and Dredd some cringe-worthy chairshots to the head. Weird seeing Col. Parker all buffed out, too.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Super Leather on March 06, 2018, 10:56:02 AM
Announcers sound like Dave Brown and Corey Maclin to me, but I've been wrong before.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 06, 2018, 11:18:59 AM
Gotcha. This time period is really weird for me just because it was the end of everything. Gets very jumbled in my mind and it's weird after seeing the older stuff how the territories just got strangled.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 06, 2018, 02:25:57 PM
It makes sense that RVD and Sabu had good chemistry. They're close friends and both were trained by Sabu's uncle, the Sheik.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 06, 2018, 03:58:38 PM
Very true. It just always surprises me they work so well together, somehow. They're two guys I just enjoy watching. RVD gets a little slept on as a worker, when he gave a shit. When he was feeling it, he could have decent matches with almost anyone. Almost. I don't remember seeing an actively boring pre-2002 RVD match. It's funny seeing him there without much charisma, doing a Lanny Poffo impression, though.

WCW should've snapped them both up, though. Pillman/Sabu would've been fun.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 06, 2018, 04:51:59 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zw71NDBt1Q

So when I was a kid, there was this video store liquidating all their stuff. I picked up many, many a wrestling tape there. The tape this was on was put in the wrong box, so instead of something like SuperTape '92 or whatever was this. Tape had like four matches, and all I remember is this and a pretty dull Ken Patera vs Jose Lothario match. But this is the match I remembered, and after I got the proper SuperTape I traded this back. Didn't like the old school stuff, you know? Never saw it again, but this has been a match I've thought about off and on over the years because not only was it the first(?) casket match but because I'd never seen Dusty that young. So seeing this now is the first time since I was probably twelve that I've seen this match.

It's good. The Texas Death aspect is pretty much useless and done solely to make the match longer, though. Both Dusty and Ivan look quite good. It was their respective peaks, I say. They also do what sure look like some of the safest chairshots I've ever seen: use an open chair and hit a guy with the now lightened seat. No headshot is safe, of course, but it was safe looking while not completely absurd. It's a slower pace than I remembered, but that's just the times. They had their shit down. Finish is perfect, and they wrap it up before it gets too ridiculous. Good brawl by masters at it.

Did Dusty invent the casket match too?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on March 07, 2018, 07:51:38 AM
I remember being pumped when I heard Earthquake was working dark matches.  I thought there was something that derailed him coming back but I can't find anything.  Had just read the other day about a Regal-Golga match that went unaired in Fall of 98 because Regal smacked him so hard the mask came off and the crowd kept chanting for Earthquake.

Also, never saw the post-MSP Joe Abs.  Can't help but laugh at the Bushwackers look.

Have you been following the Observer Rewind posts on reddit, by any chance?  Because I also just read about the incident with Regal there within the last few days.

Just catching that I hadn't seen this from a few days back but yeah, I casually lurk on Reddit and do try to read those Observer rewinds.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 08, 2018, 03:02:27 PM
You got a link to that reddit? I'm very curious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deVl82Pn6uo

Billy Jerk is just outclassed. By a lot. But that's some crazy in that ring (said in jest in case Billy Jack tries to assassinate me). Inoki's become one of my favorites because dude takes no shit and always looks like he'll kill you if you fuck with him. This is probably a good example of the difference between where the US was and whee Japan was, stylistically, but I never know what I'm talking about. Who were the guys with Billy Jack, though? I feel like I should know them.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 10, 2018, 02:06:19 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39QVnDuq5Iw

Whoa. Bad News is fucking awesome, as per usual. Luger is green as grass, and has trouble keeping up. But the match is nonstop brawling and played to Luger's strengths. I never knew these guys were at the same place at the same time, let alone had a match. The pre-match video is of a six-man which has young Ron Simmons but more importantly showing that, at least once, Bad News and Bruiser Brody were on a team someplace. That's the shit dreams are made of.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 10, 2018, 02:50:15 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFUL6icYuM0

Midgets interest me. Black and white old time midgets moreso.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Super Leather on March 10, 2018, 09:34:05 PM
Bad News Allan's brief Florida run was covered in some of the magazines I read back then, so I knew who he was when he debuted with the WWF. That said, I had no idea that he had ever wrestled for Stampede until many years later; possibly when I first read a review of his shoot interview on the 2003 incarnation of this very board.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 11, 2018, 08:28:35 AM
See I thought he was a Stampede guy they eventually brought in. I had no idea he was awesome everywhere he went.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 12, 2018, 03:05:42 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTndTO1tqVk&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Gotta be one of the top five most important moments in history, right? Definitely mandatory viewing at some point. They beat the FUCK out of each other and everyone is confused about what to do. It's the kinda thing I love about wrestling. Lance Russell is also far and away my favorite announcer. He took it just seriously enough.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 12, 2018, 03:38:18 PM
Oh hell yes I'm so watching that later.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 12, 2018, 03:38:42 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9D5gGFbXXM&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Valentine's a guy I didn't appreciate for a long time, but suddenly "got." Since this is joined in progress I'm assuming he had that hour just to warm up. There are moments where, had Colon been wearing his hammer jammer, the match might have ended quickly. Just two talented guys beating each other bloody, tying to get out of a cage. Colon takes great beatings, I love watching him against guys like Hansen and Valentine. Just guys who beat the fuck out of him. His comebacks work so well, and he's absolutely not afraid to get his hands dirty. He should've gotten Pedro Morales' push.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 14, 2018, 03:34:45 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ILpoJzDg8c

Tupelo 2: Where Onita Got The Idea For FMW.

This one's fucking insane. I can't do justice to the chaos. The crowd is flipping out like I've never really heard a crowd do before; they're not rooting for Gilbert and Morton as much as they are scared for everyone's life. The highlight, if you wanna call it that, is Tojo Yamamoto slapping some poor lady around who accidentally got into the concession stand. The first one was the important one, but personally I like this one better.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 16, 2018, 02:14:13 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH2xGRHoGDI&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=4

Two guys who respect each other, trying to be just better enough to win. Everything matters, not a wasted motion. What would be stalling now is legitimately sizing up and trying to think of a strategy. When a punch happens, or a power move, it fucking matters and the crowd flip out. Thesz gets his arm worked on for several minutes in a hammerlock, and sells it by trying to smack it and move it to get feeling back because he's a goddamn badass. I couldn't watch this stuff all day, really, but it's a blast if you're in the right kind of mood for watching Wrestling When It Was Real.

If you have no interest in the match, at least watch the first four or five minutes for the amazing video package on Rikidozan. It makes him look like a larger than life hero, which he was. The ultimate of ultimate good guys.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 17, 2018, 06:34:40 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0guBKutD6M&t=0s&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=8

Again a shoutout to TSM's own Monsoon Classic.

Vader was dead in the water already, but he still is enough of a prick to bust Mark open a little hardway. Stupid non-due-payin' youngster. Henry looks pretty good when Vader feels like it. One of the few times early on when you could see flashes of good in Henry, I think. Finish is the most bullshit one I can recall, though.

Shane's on commentary. He is bad, however him yelling to Henry "I feel you, dawg!" is appreciated.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 17, 2018, 06:56:43 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kclptDd9cQw&index=149&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Sean O'Haire in 2003 is everything I wish Baron Corbin was. For real, O'Haire had in-ring charisma and some good power stuff, looked like Brendan Fraser and Satan had a child, and just carried himself like a star even though he never would be. Fine little big guy vs little guy match for a b-show. I've always been lukewarm to Ultimo for some reason (despite me knowing how good he is/was), but man did they fuck that whole deal up.

Bill DeMott and Josh Matthews (looking like the biggest douchebag of the time) are a dark horse for worst announce team, I say.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 17, 2018, 05:05:41 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfFhv9TYKk4

I'm such a Ludvig Borga mark. Ever since I was a kid, I've dug that guy. Wanted him to smash Luger and get my personal dream match of Borga/Bret. But here he is a mere Viking. He looks laughably bad through a lot of this, but still, he got the Skyrim Cosplayer entrance down. No idea or interest in who the Patriot is. Isn't Del Wilkes. I'm just going to make up my own story and say it's, like, Frankie Williams.

Following that is an episode of UWF:Herb's wackiest most controversial talk show, the Captain Lou Corner. You just get Ivan Koloff cutting an old school promo on his stupid turncoat nephew Nikita.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 17, 2018, 05:18:53 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycKSeu3RWpM&t=304s

Bret and Owen didn't get a long enough run to just mow through people. If only Heenan had stayed on one more year, just to call everything Hart related.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on March 18, 2018, 08:39:23 AM
Oh wow, I don't remember the Bret-Owen team-up stuff with Owen in his blue gear but curious in this match.  Well Dunn was one of those teams when I was little because they had a name and a manager, I thought they were a bigger deal than they really were.

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 18, 2018, 09:06:32 AM
Well Dunn were dead in the water to me because of the thong tights. I couldn't take them seriously. They could've had staying power, though. 1996 needed more teams.

I love how Bret just fucking destroys them. It isn't often Bret's the dude running through people.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 18, 2018, 10:05:52 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0zgOIB7H4g

On one hand, we get cheated out of a Flair/Sid team. On the other, we get a full on fucking lost classic with four of the best ever. I'm no star rating person, so take this with whatever you want, but if this isn't ****+ I don't know what is. It's a total war from beginning to end (which I'm not even too mad about). They just keep going, beating the fuck out of each other with some HATE. Angry Flair is something else. Arn and Vader beat the shit out of each other. This should have been the BattleBowl main event. Ending notwithstanding, this is incredible.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: strummer on March 18, 2018, 11:21:40 AM
Interesting note on that match is that the Sid/Arn stabbing had already happened but they had this in the can.  The ending didn't air because it featured Sid returning to beat up the heels.

Wonder what Sid would have done at Battlebowl? My guess is he gets paired with Vader and they start the dissention to build to the Starrcade match.  Sid is also probably in the Sting spot of being last eliminated in the battle royal
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Super Leather on March 18, 2018, 11:37:31 AM
Fiery babyface Ric Flair was a thing that should have lasted a lot longer in this period.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 18, 2018, 12:12:29 PM
Interesting note on that match is that the Sid/Arn stabbing had already happened but they had this in the can.  The ending didn't air because it featured Sid returning to beat up the heels.

Wonder what Sid would have done at Battlebowl? My guess is he gets paired with Vader and they start the dissention to build to the Starrcade match.  Sid is also probably in the Sting spot of being last eliminated in the battle royal

That's what I was wondering. I figured this was the end of Sid's run. I did like Tony and Jesse trying to remember if Sid had been in a match this long, though.

Flair going off the top to hit Austin outside the ring is surreal. I'm sure I've seen it before in some context, but it's so un-Flair.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 20, 2018, 02:50:56 PM
I hate my body, I really do. As Warren Zevon said, my shit's fucked up. But it leads to finding shit like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJsab4EO38A

I randomly picked Gene Kiniski out of thin air because I've heard him mentioned my whole life and never really looked at his stuff. Trivial note: when I got into wrestling hardcore as a kid, I found out that a lot of my older relatives watched it all the time back in the early TV days. My grandfather loved Lou Thesz, my grandmother loved Verne Gagne, and my great aunt was all about Gene Kiniski. She met him in a bank during his peak, and to this day constantly tells the story of being in line behind the awesome Gene Kiniski. Kinda cool.

As I'm not in the mood for wrestling both in color and with sound, here's one from Stampede from sometime when he was alive. No date I can find, but it's later in his career. I love the crusty old guys and how they fought for every move. It's hard for me to say if he's being an asshole at times when it comes to selling or stiffness because that's just how it was in his day. Watching a guy like him, from his era, working a "modern" TV match (in the modern timing sense) is interesting.

Who was Ho Chi Lao?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 23, 2018, 05:06:48 AM
I keep trying off and on to watch Inoki/Ali, just because, and it won't end. It just won't. I feel bad because it seems like I should give a shit, but it just never stops. Maybe I'm watching it wrong.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: snuffbox on March 23, 2018, 09:26:18 AM
You wont find a worse match (as it were?) than Ali-Inoki.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 23, 2018, 02:47:02 PM
I don't even know what to qualify it as. I mean it feels like it lasts four days. It's like Heaven's Gate.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 23, 2018, 02:51:02 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Lw8_AKZW6I

Fuck that, here's Inoki slapping everyone.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on March 23, 2018, 03:55:49 PM
ever need cheering up do a google image search for アントニオ猪木ビンタ

Should work on youtube too.

(http://www.igf.jp/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/24f158ac3039a612762adfbadee4fc05.jpg)
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 23, 2018, 04:06:51 PM
That was well worth it.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 24, 2018, 02:19:22 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb69OTXsJoE&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=2

Replace the Rougeaus with the Von Erichs and this is straight up Dallas, just with more announcer emphasis on it being cool to hit Precious.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 27, 2018, 02:15:29 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvi6rvTMdXw

All the talk about the mid-90s WWF made me nostalgic. 1993 is one of my favorite years in wrestling, and I think a lot of that is sentimental as a WWF guy who watched Superstars with his brothers every Saturday morning (and then finding out WCW was pretty fucking stacked years later). I don't know what it is. The production just warms my heart, somehow.

That said, Bastion Booger. I really only had interest in this match because, having seen Owen and Mike Shaw have some good stuff in Stampede, I wanted to see what translated, which wasn't much. I mean five years and like 50lbs make a difference, yeah, but it's a very good example of the famed WWF Style. All the high impact and electricity they somehow had in Stampede becomes slow and plodding, with Owen doing the bare minimum and Booger just standing, waiting for Owen to run into him so he can take some awkward bumps. It's just very evident that it was laid out to be a hare vs tortoise thing, despite Owen looking pretty good.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 31, 2018, 01:28:30 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCv1lM7iL88

I never know what I think of Shane Douglas. I think he's a good tag guy, for sure, but I can't think of a really good singles match he had. Best I can do is when he and Cactus had that match with Cactus in a tux. He's pedestrian here, like Billy Gunn pedestrian, and takes a few moves from Curt Hennig (I actually associate the Dean Douglas run with being a super-diet caffeine free Curt Hennig having matches I don't really remember beyond using the Perfectplex). But man, he was dead in the water anyway, but those tights and being from "the college of higher education" or whatever it was just yanked the plug out. Dude got so exposed it wasn't funny. However, you take out that nails on a chalkboard part of his entrance music, and it's kind of awesome.

Waltman was at least in the top three or four guys in the company at this point. I get the angle involved, but his weird last six or seven months feel like such a waste (Corporate Kid/Shawn having an IC title feud was a dream of mine). He was pretty game here, considering it was Douglas. Match is so 1995 my inner nine or ten year old is flipping out, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 01, 2018, 03:23:31 AM
I stand by Douglas/Taz having a pair of really good matches toward the end of his ECW tenure. Everything Shane lacked in extravagance or overt showmanship in-ring he made up for with a wonderful grasp of the fundamentals and genuine understanding of what makes pro wrestling work.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 01, 2018, 09:00:17 AM
Shane became ECW's Flair. So many of his in-ring promos have that kind of energy to them, but not as well or as focused, and he always made sure to surround himself with better guys (I loved the Douglas/Bigelow/Candido Triple Threat). But he got exposed real easy when out of his comfort zone. His WWF run would've been a wreck no matter what. He literally should've come in as a Bodydonna with Candido and Sunny.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 01, 2018, 09:16:23 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmFHS0ud_2I

TNA (and later WWE) were all "Kenzo Suzuki! Star in Japan!" and the collective annoyance about how out of all the guys from Japan they signed, it was fucking Kenzo, because he was big. Kenzo was so fucking bad, you guys. Isn't like we're dealing with prime Saturn, either, but he at least needs a guy to be in position for his typical Saturn shit. Both guys look awful, but Kenzo just killed whater Saturn had left. But Kenzo never came back, and Saturn did, so that speaks volumes.

Believe it or not, though, those Jerry Lynn and Justin Credible kids had good matches.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Super Leather on April 01, 2018, 09:25:47 AM
Kenzo Suzuki was the worst.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 01, 2018, 09:38:56 AM
When your best work involves teaming up with Rene Dupree, it says something. Also keep in mind that TNA had and was pushing, Erik Watts (who fair being fair was pretty awesome at everything not wrestling at the time).

Show also had, for what it's worth, the second appearance of Abyss (when he just kinda lived in a cage backstage) and Kid Kash saying "Yoo hoo, Big Scary Dude? Did you get the cookies I left you?" Kash was the man.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 01, 2018, 11:10:41 AM
There's a reason I used to say KID KASH IS YOUR NEW FAVORITE WRESTLER in every TNA review I wrote. The guy was probably the hottest heel in the entire company from the Trinity break to his departure.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 01, 2018, 01:19:40 PM
I think I bought more shows to see what Kash would do than anything for a while there. Like I could always rely on a good Styles, AMW, XXX, etc match, but Kash was the best heel on television at the time and had fun matches. The Kash/Goldie/Watts/Trinity arc was everything Russo was great at, imo.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 01, 2018, 03:33:48 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p2LZdV9iK4&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Brody and Hansen were SMART workers. Everyone knew, and wanted, those two guys to tangle and break each other, but they never quite got what they wanted. They spend the first few minutes playing with the idea of fighting, and when they finally do fight it's either broken up or with one guy already beat up. Is it fair to call Hansen and Brody, but mostly Brody, one of the three or so most influential workers of the modern era?

Terry Gordy so natural, too. You can see how he held a lot together just by his years as a Freebird and teaming with everyone. He and Hansen complimented each other pretty well. Pretty, pretty well. Snuka does some good work, but could really be replaced by someone better. He throws some nasty-ass chops, though. He kept up, so anything else is nitpicking. Why was Snuka wearing boots?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 01, 2018, 03:56:29 PM
There's a reason I used to say KID KASH IS YOUR NEW FAVORITE WRESTLER in every TNA review I wrote. The guy was probably the hottest heel in the entire company from the Trinity break to his departure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7DhVKPaFmo

Vid's choppy and you have a hard time with the announcers, but Kash is totally keeping up with Styles and has the crowd in the palm of his hand. Perfect kind of guy for AJ too. Kash was amazing for at least four to six months of the year. Never held anything whatsoever back, Didn't give a shit about the rules, Arial Misogynist Kid Kash --the Notorious KID dawg--was the best villain TNA has had. Styles still all super-face and found himself feuding with the best non-Daniels foil he had for a long time. But the best part of Kash is that he actually got his in the end. I mean sure it had Erik Watts and Lance Hoyt involved but he got the good ending for a great villain.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 02, 2018, 12:37:26 AM
If you travel to other boards and praise Hansen? You'll be in good company.

My favorite Kash moment in TNA was actually him at ringside. I want to say it was during a Planet Jarrett (if that was the group's name that early?) tag match, and Kash was handcuffed to somebody on the floor (Watts?) so he wouldn't interfere. Of course, he kept trying, and each time Watts (?) would rip him away. Kash bumped his ass off on the floor.

I'm saying it outright: Kid Kash is one of the most underrated cruisers in US wrestling.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on April 02, 2018, 05:17:48 AM
Don't gotta go anywhere to praise Stan Hansen bro. He's one of my favourite all-time workers. Absolute GOAT. There's nothing like watching Stan lariating the fuck outta Kobashi.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Spaceman Spiff 🚀 on April 02, 2018, 07:36:27 AM
(https://i.redd.it/mmdkfmy1nzh01.gif)

(stolen from DVDVR)
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 02, 2018, 11:59:44 AM
I've not really gone to a non-TSM board in years. Once DVDR banned me for no actual reason, I just kinda stuck around here.

Hansen is someone, based on watching a great deal of watching him lately, doesn't seem to have much in the way of bad matches. It seems like he was one of the few to retire at exactly the right time, too, but I could be off. Not much else to say, really. Top five of all time, for me anyway. But I've been on a huge tag team kick for what amounts to puro in general, and his runs with Brody and Dibiase are fantastic, and I can't think of a more perfect partner than Gordy for him.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 02, 2018, 12:07:16 PM
If you travel to other boards and praise Hansen? You'll be in good company.

My favorite Kash moment in TNA was actually him at ringside. I want to say it was during a Planet Jarrett (if that was the group's name that early?) tag match, and Kash was handcuffed to somebody on the floor (Watts?) so he wouldn't interfere. Of course, he kept trying, and each time Watts (?) would rip him away. Kash bumped his ass off on the floor.

I'm saying it outright: Kid Kash is one of the most underrated cruisers in US wrestling.

The second they gave him a mic, he became incredible. TNA had so many just generic and faceless X Division guys rotating in and out, but then they let Kash talk, and he became must-watch. He was the evil Jerry Lynn. He had good matches, developed a great character, and made Erik fucking Watts into a player for a while (and I'm just going to outright say he made Abyss a top guy). When life forced me to stop watching in late October '03, he was the one dude I missed seeing. Styles was awesome, AMW were awesome, but Kash was must-see TV. He was the perfect heel.

He's also one of WWE's biggest missed shots solely because they had been gifted with the ultimate white trash tag team in Kash and Noble but made them pitbulls instead. That actually made me angry.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on April 02, 2018, 12:07:45 PM
dvdvr bans everyone willy-nilly it seems. It's almost impossible to get banned here!

Hansen's tag team work seems to get ignored now it feels like because of just how great his matches with Jumbo and the pillars are but I totally agree they're fantastic.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 02, 2018, 12:16:12 PM
DVDR banned me for a post I made in the legendary sleaze thread of all places. It's almost an achievement.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 02, 2018, 12:49:49 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPNP5PM2YLY

I'd only heard stories about this, but I'm glad some footage exists. When WCW died, Bischoff and Jason Hervey founded Matrats with the idea being roughly "let's hire a bunch of minors to wrestle!" Camera even zooms in on Bisch at one point. But we got teenage Harry Smith and teenage Jack Evans in a bad match, called by Mauro Ranallo, and (if that YouTube comment is right because my vision is terrible) Nattie as the hip hot ring announcer. The corners appear to have launchpads or something on top of the post for super endangering of a minor, and that Mark Star dude takes a fucking STUPID bump off one, hitting the sign right under Mauro's announcing balcony.

I would also like to add that calling your home arena the Rat's Nest is fucking terrible.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Super Leather on April 02, 2018, 01:06:55 PM
I would read DVDVR threads until the first use of the phrase "stuffing instead of potatoes" took place and then I was out of there.

PWO is a good board with some TSM crossover. Wrestling Classics and Kayfabe Memories are great for historical info at first; then you realize that those threads are years old and what's left is a boring, curmudgeonly vibe.

Stan Hansen and Bruiser Brody are tag team gold.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 02, 2018, 05:17:53 PM
The TSM wrestling folder split happened when I gone for months, or was just about to go. Skimmed PWO after goodhelmet mentioned it to me once, but it just was too serious. First thread I saw there was a multipage thread on Jim Ross being a horrible human being. The best thing about TSM is was how it wasn't Pro Wrestling Only. It had wrestling and music and sports and Jingus losing his teeth from cough syrup and gnomes an all kinds of shit.

Best part of this board, especially as time went on, is that it applies to practically anything somewhere.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on April 02, 2018, 08:21:15 PM
they closed that thread because of an argument about bix shitting on jr for not getting over his wife dying fast enough so yeah... PWO is very serious. The wrestling rape culture thread alone...

Our site has the right mix for me especially with the chat and the fantasy leagues thrown in. Only board I really miss is WDI and most of the people on there were on here.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Super Leather on April 02, 2018, 09:52:18 PM
Compared to the other boards I've perused, TSM is by far the most chill. People used to be more snarky here, but I think most of those posters have either moved on or calmed down with the attitude.

Back to Stan Hansen: He's one of the guys who has been my personification of professional wrestling for virtually my entire life. Definitely would be on my top ten list if I ever sat down and made one. I've always been a fan, but he reached all-time great status when I finally saw more of his All Japan work outside of the Hogan bout and the interpromotional matches with Vader. Didn't matter who his opponent was, I don't think I saw anything less than maximum effort from Stan in the bunch. I don't say this often, but I feel like you're not a real fan and should stop watching altogether if you are unable to appreciate the goodness that is the Bad Man from Borger, Texas.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 03, 2018, 11:04:18 AM
they closed that thread because of an argument about bix shitting on jr for not getting over his wife dying fast enough so yeah... PWO is very serious. The wrestling rape culture thread alone...

Our site has the right mix for me especially with the chat and the fantasy leagues thrown in. Only board I really miss is WDI and most of the people on there were on here.


The last thing I read at PWO was Loss (I think) putting up old Observers. Here was much better because it felt like there was more crossover and no one was really only posting in one place all the time, and there was just a measure of freedom to say shit. First board I ever saw where no one gave (or gives) a shit about who or what you like unless it's hilariously wrong and you piss of the Hive Mind.

We do need both more dumbasses and degenerates, though. Before all's said and done we need the frog ending, you know?

Quote
Back to Stan Hansen: He's one of the guys who has been my personification of professional wrestling for virtually my entire life. Definitely would be on my top ten list if I ever sat down and made one. I've always been a fan, but he reached all-time great status when I finally saw more of his All Japan work outside of the Hogan bout and the interpromotional matches with Vader. Didn't matter who his opponent was, I don't think I saw anything less than maximum effort from Stan in the bunch. I don't say this often, but I feel like you're not a real fan and should stop watching altogether if you are unable to appreciate the goodness that is the Bad Man from Borger, Texas.

Hansen just looked like a wrestler. The first I really saw of him was that WCW run with Luger, years after the fact and knowing the legend of the guy. He was impossible to root against. Chasing Missy Hyatt out of dressing rooms was awesome. I'm just now through these various matches getting into the work he's best known for, and it's been fun. The only match I've seen him in that really didn't care for was him beating Martel for the AWA title. Didn't click, plus who the fuck would cheer Martel over Hansen? Related: the promo about making money to support his big fat wife and nine kids is the shit.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 03, 2018, 11:48:23 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaE8CZe83BU

Holy shit.

EDIT: Hansen and Hogan vs Backlund and Rhodes. I mean dude. Hogan even has a proto-Hollywood beard!
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 03, 2018, 01:27:36 PM
I really enjoy PWO, but I'm also one of the few here who loves to go off on massive tangents about wrestling. That board's weakness comes from how incredibly nerdy the discussions can turn, but there's been less of those after finishing the various "greatest ever" projects.

It's sad that the closest we've gotten to a Stan Hansen type in WWE has been Bradshaw. I know the WWE style has always been more about overt "for the cheap seats" moments over raw believability, but there's no reason we couldn't have had Bray Wyatt or Braun or even fucking Brodus Clay filling the "hoss who can hustle" brawler trope.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 03, 2018, 02:14:57 PM
Sheamus kinda did, but they 50/50'd him too bad.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 03, 2018, 02:57:00 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkghv6A6snw&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

My knowledge of Nick Mondo is basically stupid bumps and taking a weedwhacker to the stomach, so it's weird seeing him in a regular match and showing some real potential without the gore. Raw as fuck, though, as is Punk. But you can tell Punk had something, but nowhere near what he became. He saves the match (mostly) after Mondo botches a big move, but is too limited to save all of it. The announcing, for some reason, amused the hell out of me.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 03, 2018, 03:57:13 PM
Sheamus kinda did, but they 50/50'd him too bad.
Yeah, but Sheamus is boring AF...

Mondo was always worth a decent match. His stuff with Trent Acid is an underappreciated highlight of early CZW.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 03, 2018, 04:52:04 PM
This is more or less my first Mondo match, so I wasn't sure what to expect. His reputation proceeded him Punk had something but it gets lost in all the douchechills he gave off at the time.

I've been very hesitant to look up a lot on the super garbage matches, with light tubes and razor wire and shit. But my love for FMW and ECW makes me feel like a complete hypocrite.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 13, 2018, 09:51:06 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekt-m1LNWIM&t=308s

Is this still technically a lost classic? Bret/Perfect is the only match other than Bret/Savage that should've happened at Mania. You basically do this match as a Mania main event, it's one of the best ever. Regardless, Zack Ryder bullshit aside, this is exactly what I needed right now, to be honest. KOTR '93 might be Bret's best showing, period.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 15, 2018, 05:59:26 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSQ1m52Yl0A

Kid Kash was the best heel in the country in 2003. He just was in a groove like no other. This entire setup and match was laid out absolutely beautifully for what they were going for, despite the finish. It's so unfortunate Trinity's basically a footnote, and that's for everything but the Kash feud, because she had something special for the time. If a system like NXT were around, she'd have developed really well, I think. But they both bust their asses and Kash is the best. He could've started a riot if he wanted to at this point.

Mike Tenay starts it, though, because he's an instigating prick.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 15, 2018, 09:51:17 AM
Part of me wonders if I can make an argument for Trinity inspriing more young female talent than Trish.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Sabre on April 15, 2018, 10:09:38 AM
Damn I forgot about how amazing trinity was back in the day. Such a shame her WWECW run was terrible.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on April 15, 2018, 10:36:19 AM
She was fairly natural at spotty stuff, too. Gymnastics and stunt work in her background definitely helped, as did being trained by Mikey Whipreck and his crew.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 15, 2018, 11:28:10 AM
Trinity was a blast. She was pretty raw and limited, but I honestly think she hit everything better than Lita ever did, in addition to being a way better promo. Never got why they didn't really try a women's division then, exactly the way they ran the X Division with people coming in and out to see who fit. Russo was going to be out by the end of the year, so it isn't like they'd build it around, like, Lollipop (for long). I might be wrong, but they had Traci Brooks and Simply Luscious/Nurse Veronica (Team Bitch Slap!), and by 2003 standards they weren't the worst. Worth a few months to find a division.

Good example of a heel turn totally killing someone, too. I think she turned almost right after the Kash feud and wound up with Siaki or someone. All I even remember about her WWECW run is her wearing Caution tape, which I will not complain about. But she deserves much, much more recognition than history gives her.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 25, 2018, 01:35:59 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0lXpKCk7Fg&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=514

Match sucks balls but it has Mark Henry in the best shape of his career. Totally miscast as the sort of face who makes comebacks. Awesome looks dreadful, and there's a couple times (both press slams) he's clearly not trusting Henry to not fuck up his knee. That's probably fair. This could've been a fun power match, too.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 25, 2018, 03:03:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUZq0R7Qi6k

Best promo.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 27, 2018, 05:29:07 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwbFjyGy61E&list=PLE5D2B504693D94D0

The first thing I ever got into on YouTube was this weird avant-agarde thing on the Von Erichs. There's like seven parts, or should be if any of them are for sure up, but this was captivating to me as a Von Erich obsessive.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 30, 2018, 08:30:39 AM
(https://i.embed.ly/1/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fthumbs.gfycat.com%2FWeeklyFondDogwoodtwigborer-size_restricted.gif&key=522baf40bd3911e08d854040d3dc5c07)

There's no need for a match to post. You see everything you need, after watching a few Arcidi matches. I do like how this gif clearly has Tony Garea being all "fuck you, I'm not taking that" to that shot to the back.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on April 30, 2018, 09:18:53 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z-gfmH4RhA

So clipped, they show it twice in the same video. You can see the Rockers come out to "Crazy Train" twice.

SWS couldn't hold a candle to anyone. This was Tenryu trying to be the WWF, was it not? Whatever crowd was there was having none of the Rockers' shit. No one took them seriously against Haku and Yatsu to where it feels, from someone who was a kid when this happened, really weird. Haku and Yatsu are a perfect powerhouse team who would've been way, way better literally anywhere else. Interesting little match.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 03, 2018, 01:10:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVlb_obfwbg

Time makes this better. I hated them all so, so much.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 03, 2018, 01:24:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGX3ZKdBR_c

This is what I was really after! I hated Flair so much. This, though, might be my very favorite Flair promo ever. It's so matter of fact and obnoxious while not being over the top. I wanted Savage to fucking kill him. I've also never forgotten how, even at seven or however old I was, that it seemed funny bad guy Ric Flair is drinking alcohol but good wholesome announcer Vince McMahon had a big glass of milk.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 07, 2018, 10:56:29 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOtHIU5NP2w&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1585

Small recap of the Jerry Lawler/Jos LeDuc feud in Memphis. This is fucking amazing. Starts with LeDuc cutting his arm open with a goddamn axe.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 07, 2018, 11:20:33 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIk0s8TLj74&index=2757&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Japan Dibiase is fucking awesome, but I'll never get used to post-WWF Japan Dibiase. It's so weird, as someone who thought he retired months before this. But there he is, busting his ass against another guy I really like watching in Akiyama. Finish is great, wish he busted it out in the WWF. As a WWF kid, realizing that his in-ring work there (as opposed to his amazing character work and promos, etc.) was half as good as it was in both Japan and Mid South is jarring. And he was still awesome!
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: snuffbox on May 08, 2018, 01:50:22 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOtHIU5NP2w&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1585

Small recap of the Jerry Lawler/Jos LeDuc feud in Memphis. This is fucking amazing. Starts with LeDuc cutting his arm open with a goddamn axe.

I wonder what time this aired. Without looking it up I would guess a weekend morning.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 08, 2018, 12:29:30 PM
I was thinking about that too. Figured either a Saturday morning or mid-afternoon.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 08, 2018, 12:54:45 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSGGmCkH1kQ&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=685

It says this was from a Don Muraco-promoted show called "Rockamania: Say No To Dope!" Too easy. This match is weird, though. It feels like there's at least three different double turns, mostly after the bell, and these are clearly not the best Samoans working at the time (Farmer Boy Ipo is the best name, though). Young Konnan might change my opinion on the guy, though. Surreal seeing him being so mobile and flashy. Mando is totally the second best Guerrero, I say.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 08, 2018, 01:11:15 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPmYtfApc78&index=869&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Randy Savage comes off as a sane person while being Randy Savage. Dr. D, meanwhile, wears a swastika and tells Jerry Lawler no one wants to tag with him because he has AIDS. Fucking Christ, Memphis.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 08, 2018, 02:01:38 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEuXwxhyg4o&index=2427&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

This is fucking hatred. It's nonstop brutality and crazy, with the corners trying to interfere and throwing weapons in and some disgustingly violent shit happening everywhere. Nakano is a goddamn warrior (that legdrop!) and Kong is just essentially Vadering the living fuck out of her. I don't know what all goes down at the end because I don't speak Japanese, but it was pretty heated, and Bison Kimura is too loud. But this goes right up to, if not past, Toyoda/Kudo as a personal favorite women's match.

I can't hate a match with nunchucks in it, more or less.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 11, 2018, 03:15:39 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVvMIDTKXtc&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=2352

The feeder fed era of Stampede is fucking deadly. So not the same promotion, to the point of distraction. Blackman, despite the mullet, is EXACTLY the same. Little less mass, little less hair, and he's taking Shamrock to school in the Iron Circle. Albright has flashes, but isn't there yet; he's got the Dr. Death Starter Kit, but this wasn't the place to do any of the stuff he could show off or a style he could mesh with, really. That said he and Blackman are a fun little tag team and it's a shame Blackman had that "almost kills you" virus that retired him for ten years. He has "misguided martial arts WWF midcard babyface" air to him.

Match isn't good. Feels like an opener for one of the major WWF house shows where it just never ends and the crowd doesn't completely care. Also, the "the ref didn't see the tag!" spot is fucking stupid when it's being done on a twin team.

Gotta mention, too, Ed Whalen buries EVERYONE at various points for no discernible reason (at least as someone watching without much in the way of context). I'm not a Whalen guy.

Stu Hart (chiming in on commentary when he remembers he's still alive) calls Albright a "Super Dreadnaught Heavyweight." That's badass.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 12, 2018, 12:02:42 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udl-CxzntUc&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=706

Fuckin' little baby Hot Rod getting his bearings in LA. He's getting there. Had no idea how much I loved watching him until he was gone.

Chavo Classic, however, in this case, was not a good promo. I'd want to see The Unpredictable Java Ruuk kick his ass.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 13, 2018, 08:34:30 AM
Not going to bother linking it because everyone's seen it enough times, but after seeing Mick Foley the other day, I had to rewatch the Cell match with Taker. The show, for the record, was literally him telling the story from his book with pauses for laughs (still fun, though).

Anyway, I fucking love it. I was one of those who for a long time thought "two fucked up bumps, the rest is garbage," but man, time has made me love it. For an extreme example, I love it the same way I love Hogan/Andre: I know it isn't a masterpiece of a match, but it has such an air to it that I'll always call it one of the best. Also like Hogan/Andre, it isn't even close to the best of its kind, though. That bump through the cell is disgusting, though. It just looks like Foley's dead. That they managed to have any kind of structured match after that is a miracle, and they somehow made it work. I'm good watching it once every, like, ten years.

I'll probably find some wacky, ancient, or Japanese thing later.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 20, 2018, 03:06:01 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR5XgFOV8eo

I was a little let down by this, to be honest. The work is solid, as you'd expect, but it feels like a whole lot of nothing happens. I'm blaming Hogan because of how obviously out of his league he is. At some point he straight up nopes the fuck away from Backlund. It got distracting and funny, just because. Finishing sequence is so unthinkable as a fan in the States.

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 22, 2018, 03:13:19 PM
WHAT?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00JPVQkuECs

It's a Prime Time match, so expect accordingly, but what the fuck. I don't understand why Vince never picked up Leduc. A big dude who could cut a promo, had great facial expressions, and who already was a psychotic heel lumberjack. That's exactly the kind of guy you throw on a loop against Hogan. Still, I like Tito and he looked really good here. But this is weird.

Credit and shoutout goes to fellow TSMer Monsoon Classic and his awesome channel.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 22, 2018, 03:47:48 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS23Osbg7g0

Oh man I wish this had another ten minutes. Another five. It seemed like it took Steamboat a minute to adjust early on, but by the end he was perfectly comfortable. Seeing what was certainly the state-of-the-art American style of the time and the state-of-the-art junior (what was Misawa classified as at this point?) is really cool, and once they meshed it made it all work. Needed more fucking time, and probably a little less beating on Steamboat, but these are/would be two of the greatest of all time (and a case could be made for either being the best, thinking about it).

Gotta say, too, that my favorite refs have become Joe Higuchi and Red Shoes.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on May 23, 2018, 03:09:53 AM
Misawa is so overrated it hurts
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 23, 2018, 06:52:59 AM
Doesn't mean he wasn't great, although I like him in tags much more than singles, for some reason. I'm on Team Kawada forever, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on May 23, 2018, 09:33:57 AM
I like Kobashi and Kawada more than Misawa but he's still probably a top 25 all-time worker or very close personally. I'm never offended by anyone who has him higher than that. He had a very difficult job being the Ace all those years. He had to show enough vulnerability for people to believe he could lose but still come across as the indisputable top dawg.

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 23, 2018, 12:04:38 PM
I'd put him behind Kobashi and Kawada, easily. A case can be made for him being of the greatest ever, but I don't think he'd have that at all without those two. Misawa just daunting for me because it seems like I know what I'm getting as opposed to the others. I'd never seen his Tiger Mask II work, and I much prefer it. I think it's the idea of fighting to get to the top instead of being the Ace.

I've been having much more fun checking out various other names I've heard for years than the same AJPW guys. Except for trios stuff and just the Holy Demon Army in general who I could watch do anything.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 25, 2018, 04:51:29 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L_FHs_TPlE

Kanemura is a fucking nutjob and Sullivan is...Sullivan, I guess. But what the hell is this doing on SMW? Cornette booked this, and while I admit I'm viewing it out of context I must say that seems to be highly un-Corny. You can hear women screaming as he just straight up slices Kanemura's arm open. Mass hysteria. I feel like not as much of a shit was given for Brian Lee's save as it was the feeling the audience watched a guy get maimed for no reason. This was either pointless or there's a Sullivan/Kanemura brawl somewhere I should find at some point.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on May 27, 2018, 03:07:09 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG7aCcoxU4Q

I'm not sure how to feel. As much as the Von Erichs fascinate me to no end --like I've written papers on them for psych classes-- I always just assumed they had at least better taste in pizza. That looks gross.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 06, 2018, 10:21:17 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMGEnX0L_d4&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

This is the best I have ever seen Randy Savage look. He was fucking FAST and more mobile than he would be even a couple years later, which is something. Guy was special. Rude hadn't gotten there yet, not even close, but he was chickenshitting alright. It's a shame and borderline unfair we never got a Savage/Rude feud in the WWF. Rude going after Liz would be money, and Jesse Ventura wouldn't know what to do with himself. But dude, Savage.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 07, 2018, 11:05:14 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWAXamNqcYo

I saw this years ago and thought it was a total mess. Seeing it again, it's just weird. I think they clicked okay, but the booking was just the Savage formula of gets his ass beat, elbow outta nowhere. Liger is fucking timeless, though. I wish this match happened five years earlier, was five times as competitive, and was five minutes longer. I think it could've worked.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 07, 2018, 02:14:38 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIE67Gh3C-U

Blue Bloods Explode.

I love seeing the various styles and how they made an impact. It's so cool watching this and seeing where the Bryans and Cesaros and McGuinness' took a lot of it. Overall it's two badass wrestlers trying to out-wrestle one another. No more, no less. Everything is crisp, snug, and stiff, like a handjob by moonlight only with Englishmen uppercutting one another. Had to be just before Regal came to the states, like within a year.

Welsh is a butt-ugly language, though. Hope they paid the poor bastard who had to chip the phlegm off the mics.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 07, 2018, 02:35:48 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqLTfIZHoVA

Now, the ladies of Reslo.

I know Princess Paula was/is the wife of Fit Finlay, and that Kate was the monster heel for some time. Just is a two out of three falls tag match, but with the theme becoming --as all these bouts do-- saying fuck it and beating the shit outta people. Paula and Kate were a fine heel team, too. Makes me a little sad the WWF Women's Tag division died out so fast, because if they'd looked around a little more, they might've made it work. Not forever, but at least get a few years out of it.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 09, 2018, 07:44:07 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqWxmKWZQHo&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1813

I can be a fan of whoever I want, but I objectively believe that Kenta Kobashi is the greatest babyface of all time. He's one of the most fun, most enjoyable people I've ever watched. I'm overstating, I'm sure, but I always forget how fucking good he was until I see him again.

What I want to know about is Bison Smith. I know he's dead, and I know he wasn't poorly thought of at the time, but what was the popular opinion? Six or so months before this he worked an indy a town away from me, Mike Modest's Pro Wrestling Iron (or the show that had Scorpio no show and actually be replaced by Juventud Guerrera). I've seen so little of his runs in Japan. Seem him compared to Vader, but this is some Road Warrior Mike Awesome work in this match. Could he work longer than the 12 or so minute sprint? Any suggestions on what to seek out?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 09, 2018, 08:14:09 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q9UcpmrZew&index=1718&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

It's somehow exactly what I expected and I wasn't sure what to expect.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 09, 2018, 08:26:08 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQCb-4VCSLU&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=174

GOAT.

It's just so simple sometimes.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: cobainwasmurdered on June 10, 2018, 03:28:40 AM
Bison Smith could be fun yeah. There's some Bison on Ditch's site. I don't know if the links all still work but just for the reccomendations and descriptions, Ditch is almost never wrong http://theditch.com/chron.html
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 15, 2018, 11:20:11 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4nHjQT76O8

So, hey. I have no idea how or what to make of this. It defies rating. The novelty wore off REAL fast, though. You can throw all the naked Japanese women you want at me (match is NSFW, of course) but that can't save whatever this goddamn thing was. It felt like a really bad exploitation movie, but not really. It felt like satire, which it better have been. But I was outright asking politely for it to please stop. I simply have no idea how to feel anymore. LU should steal this immediately.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on June 15, 2018, 01:48:11 PM
Ah, good ol' FMW...
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 15, 2018, 01:59:35 PM
That broke my wrestling-brain. I think it was just too long. Maybe? It defies my personal suspension of disbelief or something.

That said, the added punching and impact sounds were just perfect. But what the fuck.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 20, 2018, 02:15:15 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzCc-fqQ5Qo

I gotta Vader. Stumbled on this fun little thing with fucking EVERYONE in it. I love that Team Vader is basically the mid-90s WWF. More of a curiosity than a classic, I think, but look at that lineup!
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 26, 2018, 04:02:51 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti1KQrAYqzo&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1284

Ultimate in old school tag work, the stuff Cornette probably sees every night before he goes to sleep. I actually didn't expect Cornette managing the Fabs, but it makes perfect sense, and he's on fire throughout as one would expect. I've been thinking about Corny since Vader died (and with him all the in-ring Camp Cornette guys), and I'm glad I stumbled on this; it reminded me why it makes people kinda sad to see what he's just...not changed. Like this is where he would stop time: top heel manager in a southern territory feuding with Jerry Lawler, yelling at fat people. But I see him and Stan Lane together, I'm not entirely against it.

Anyway, I love Stan Lane. He's one of my favorites. I love pseudo-judo, the smarm, the douche-chills. In another world, somewhere, he and Art Barr are the greatest heel team to ever happen. But the Fabs! Heard about their battles with LOD all the time growing up, so seeing them in 1991 is almost anachronistic. They're fucking ON, too. I love little things like Lane tagging in Keirn just so Keirn can do an arrogant heel pin attempt. Lynn looked really good, which surprised me. I thought that he'd look alright, that "this kid could be something" kind of thing, but he was able to hang quite well. Yet another reason it's a shame he couldn't talk.

Real story, for the tl;dr folk, is Jerry Lawler taking the STUPIDEST thing I think I've seen: a Fabs spike piledriver from the apron to the floor. That's a godkiller move, I'm sorry. But it does make me smile that if it happened in today's indies, Cornette would flip out about it.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 26, 2018, 04:22:10 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InwOF28M5nk&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1946

I was very in and out of wrestling during this time, and vaguely remember the Haas/Rico team. They sure did Vince the fuck outta the Exotic Adrian Street gimmick, which is frustrating, but there was a measure of chemistry with Haas and Jackie. I feel like Haas is a guy you'd be able to look back on and appreciate much more. Rico, much less so. I actually was expecting London and Kidman to go over, but that must've come later. They looked good, yet still like dopes, as losers shall.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 26, 2018, 04:54:11 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSrHemR5EkA&index=1783&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D

Match is secondary. Archie Gouldie's promo is the stuff of legend. Mandatory viewing, just for that. Wrestling's never had enough silent, calm, "I am going to kill you"-type promos.

Match was probably quite fun if it weren't hacked up anyway, and then had the ending cut off to Whalen in the studio just saying "No contest."
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 27, 2018, 04:33:24 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsQqWTD7_lA

Let's go to Africa.

The announcers treat it like a sport, which is a very nice change of pace. The opening promos recap most of the story to this point (we also see the "What" chants made it to South Africa). Match is an extended squash, but it put the right guy over hard, I think. Kilimanjaro reminds me of a Nigerian Scott Norton. But I really liked the announcing, especially since you don't hear many male/female teams, and they put everything over, made a lot seem really important regardless of if it was. It was called like a real sport would be called.

It also needs to be said that a 2009 show from South Africa has awesome production, and THAT only needs to be said because it looks better than anything TNA has done in three or four years.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on June 27, 2018, 05:07:27 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfxRVQH43xs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjN1X50hLW0

I despise the multi-part match posts, but dude. Scott Steiner (with Midajah!) against Nathan Jones, with Disco on commentary, and key involvement from WWA Commissioner Sid Vicious. That's the wrestling folder's bat signal.

This is fucking atrocious, if you were wonder, because FUCK Jones was bad.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on July 02, 2018, 03:06:52 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0TzKixsmO8&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=305.

Look at goddamn beanpole Dynamite Kid trying to hang with the English Dad Bods. Seriously, Dynamite is unrecognizable, and thin to where he might break in half. But I like bad things happening to Dynamite, so hey. Also in this is Black Jack Mulligan, the fake Blackjack Mulligan. Match-wise, it's all pretty proper British action and goes by fast. Great example of them days when wrestling was real.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on July 02, 2018, 04:16:14 PM
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6csjb8

I feel like I've been using an NES when the world has a PS4. Fuck.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Firmino of the 909 on July 02, 2018, 05:07:02 PM
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6csjb8

I feel like I've been using an NES when the world has a PS4. Fuck.

That's how I felt too. The fourth match is even better.

The crowd heat for every IWGP title match these days is off the charts.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on July 03, 2018, 05:36:50 AM
I'll check it out for sure. I'll be spacing them out as best I can, though.

I feel like I get the stupid 7-star argument now, though. I didn't clock it or anything so forgive the general times, but it seemed like the first half was already an incredible match, and then the crowd started going fucking NUTS. Then it just got unreal. I honestly went in expecting to really like it but think it was overrated, you know? But fuck.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on July 05, 2018, 02:13:26 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9aOox1D8uE&list=PLvn8j3qqS7TDyMDTepmy9qJz4XUHVtK9D&index=1567

Archie Gouldie ruled. Just a match, but Stomper's really fun. Mainly, though, that ring is LOW to the ground. Archie's practically at eye-level with the top rope when he's outside. Zero give.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on August 07, 2018, 05:54:14 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnLAh-JC9Ug&t=25s

This had to be one of, if not the, first triple threat in the WWF, right? I heard rumors of Shawn/Bret/Diesel and Shawn/Bret/Taker, but never Sid. What makes it work is the fact no one has quite worked the kinks out; you see these guys, two of which the greatest ever plus Bret Hart, learning a style that would just be commonplace even six months later. Totally solid work all around, but the no one knew what quite to do. I actually give Sid a lot of credit because he held it together, or maybe that's the illusion they wanted. He looks great and is super protected, as you'd probably expect. Bret's in dark match mode with the switch slightly tilting up because Canada. He just...not sleepwalks, but more like hangover walks through things. Shawn, though, is just being a dick. Lotta oversells and Flair impressions while still not at the highest gear.

The finish is pretty nice, though, and one I'm surprised didn't get done more.

I should just randomly do a whole show. Suggestions? Network preferred, but I can scrounge. Feel like writing about something, and wrestling would be fun.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Firmino of the 909 on August 07, 2018, 05:56:49 PM
That or a house show match from that tour is the first one.

There is another on Raw with Owen, Goldust, and HHH. It was the first TV one.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on August 07, 2018, 06:00:25 PM
The Owen/Goldust/HHH was the first one I remember, and really enjoyed how different it was.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: JHawk on August 07, 2018, 10:38:08 PM
The original triple threat concept was scheduled to be Bret Hart vs. Diesel vs. The Undertaker and was announced as a round robin format, but didn't happen due to a Diesel injury.

I went to a house show just to see it and ended up with Bret vs. Taker instead, which was still good but I was pissed.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on August 08, 2018, 07:25:29 AM
Really? That would've been interesting, especially with those guys being as protected as they were. It's kinda sad how special triple threats, just as a concept, have become such a regular thing. They should be much more special.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 23, 2019, 07:06:47 AM
My body and mind continue to fall apart in the most obnoxious ways, and all I can think of to do periodically is watch various things. In lieu of YT, I'll just write about a show for no good reason other than to write about a show. Good? Good.

Using a randomizer, it landed on WCW World War 3 1996. I don't remember anything about this, but I know the main event will suck.

--WCW Heenan just never is right, although every time the fans chant "Weasel!" behind him and he looks over his shoulder in disgust is fun.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs Ultimo Dragon.

--Ultimo just covered head to toe in title belts is such an incredible visual. Rey's got his Spiderman gear on, so shit will get real.

--This is going to go way too fast for my typing to keep up with, and I frankly am good with that.

--They're actually bringing up Heenan trying to sell Sonny Oono WCW from the last year. That was pretty great. Heenan: "They had a yen for me!"

--Sonny Oono was a missed opportunity. If they let the guy just, like, not be a villain from a Bugs Bunny propaganda cartoon, he'd be a solid manager. Not GREAT, but he'd be fine. His regular voice was good manager voice.

--The three rings are fucking distracting. But then Ultimo just murdered Rey with a Tombstone on the outside so by all means, continue.

--I've never been the biggest Ultimo Dragon fan, even though I know how good he is. Just never clicked with me, somehow. Rey was fucking FIRE and I wish I'd watched WCW for him alone. I lost my shitty train of thought but this match is everywhere and it's amazing.

--Ultimo wins with a powerbomb like a goddamn star. Roku tells me that went 19 minutes, but it felt like 10. Jesus. And I love how much Heenan marks for the cruisers.

Stars suck but this was like *********4/9
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 23, 2019, 07:25:07 AM
Mean Gene is in the back, waiting on DDP and wanting me bad to go to their new website. I'm okay. 8000 slots are available though.

Shit, so now with Gene, we're up to four dead people already in Dusty, Brain, and Mark Curtis. Aw. But DDP don't care, he's making sure not to address the Eric Bischoff situation. He also busts out a "GOOD GOD!" which still annoys me. But the transition from scumbag to scumbag of the people was good stuff.

Chris Jericho vs Nick Patrick:

--Jericho with HORRIBLE music and manager Teddy Long rules. Looks like such a twat. Teddy Long is one of those guys who looks much healthier when he was fat than when he slimmed.

--So Jericho's got the one hand tied behind his back, and Nick Patrick is a corrupt ref in a neckbrace. Who was Patrick's dad? The Assassin?

--This should be at Double Or Nothing. Full circle. Right down to Patrick stalling like no tomorrow and Jericho actually selling for him.

--The announcers bickering about Heenan being on the take from the nWo is much better than this match, which is assholes. The only thing better than nWo Heenan would've been WWF Corporate Heenan. Possibilities are endless, just like this fucking match.

--Jericho finally fucking pins him. See, this one felt like 19 minutes.

They're hyping the Hogan/Piper contract signing. Ohhhh okay, I did see this once ages ago.

I'll do more later, maybe. Rey/Ultimo got me very pumped and Jericho/Patrick just took all of it away. At least the WWF was having the decency to flatline most of the time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Gert on January 24, 2019, 11:31:32 AM
It's funny when I read your Rey/Dragon recap, my first thought was "can't wait until Jericho/Patrick".

Your Teddy Long comment may literally may make me look at all of my co-workers differently tomorrow...good stuff!

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 24, 2019, 12:39:28 PM
Teddy just looked so much healthier, even though he probably wasn't. Penn Jillette is the same way. Some guys just look really weird when they drop weight.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 24, 2019, 01:09:41 PM
Gene brings out Flair, who's arm is in a sling but still with a Rolex. Flair looks so young, almost unrecognizable. I miss this reprobate, the guy who isn't even wrestling but selling me with a promo for ostensibly the show I'm watching. He was so great.

Jeff Jarrett vs The Giant: This can only go one shitty way. I've gained a whole new appreciation for Jeff Jarrett, total turnaround. He'd have gotten much more over during this run if he didn't have the shitty suspender tights. You can't root for a guy with douchebag suspender tights.

--So many years of Big Show always makes the Giant surreal. The mobility, the speed. We need another Giant, a guy who (as Tony just reminded me) can get a starring role in Jingle All The Way.

--Sting's on his way down from the rafters, and by just existing makes the match meaningless. Fuck wants this when you have Sting? Death Drop on Jarrett, who took the best Death Drops, then he's leaving down the aisle. C'mon, man. Kayfabe.

--Giant chokeslams Jarrett, it's over. They actually had a good rhythm going before Sting's stuff started.

And now, the contract signing for Hogan and Piper.

The Bischoff turn, as good as he is, killed the whole thing. The Giant turning killed the whole thing. It went from being an invasion to a heel stable, which really caused me to tune out as a casual WCW fan. Also made Dibiase totally useless, which is a shame and a waste.

Piper pushing Vincent away and tells him he taught him how to fight is awesome. I love Piper. He can ramble and throw off people and just be Piper, and I'm fine with it. They should've put the belt on him, just for a bit. It isn't like it would kill the money train.

So Hogan and everyone is out. Was this when Liz was basically a hostage? Regardless this is a completely different world than it was when she and Flair were spending all Savage's money like six months before, which makes my theory of Liz's legs being the key to boom periods slightly more valid. Still, this version of the nWo, without Vincent, is fucking cool.

Piper's got a fake hip, Hogan mocks him, beatdown. The hip psychology is goofy. Like, just by wrestling physics, there is literally nothing you can do. An Irish whip would kill you. The whole silly concept is pretty hip-based. But we get Piper's hip and leg spraypainted and trash in the ring. It feels more like a burial to just get knocked over and painted and have the nWo just leave you alive than just a regular beatdown, you know? It's that feeling you get where you watch football (or the sport of your choice) and instead of having the decency to just get blown out, the shitty team just HAS to get a safety and make it pathetic.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 24, 2019, 01:27:45 PM
The Amazing French Canadians vs Harlem Heat: I'm so happy PCO came back and is awesome again. Carl was always a favorite of mine. I'll always marvel at how just stupid "The Amazing French Canadians" is. That's some laziness, but then it isn't like the Quebecers is genius either.

--Sherri's mullet thing is a boner-killer. Fucking why did SHE get put in the nWo? The Outsiders with Sherri just seems so right to me. Get her out of this Colonel Parker bullshit, which feels so fucking dated already.

--I wanted Harlem Heat in the WWF so bad as a kid. They looked like stars, and there were like three teams, and Heat could just smash them some New Rockers. Say whatever you want about Stevie Ray but they were a hell of a team.

--No one really gives a shit about any of this, and the match is no great shakes or anything, but I kinda feel bad these are the guys in the death slot. Sherri's cleavage can only go so far. They had to have had a decent match somewhere, with people caring at least slightly.

--A ref bump, but then the Canadians spike piledrive Stevie so I will not complain. Surprised Stevie just went for that. Inexplicably they build this Public Enemy stairs-and-table bullshit in the corner for Carl to hit the cannonball off of (or whatever their finish was called), miss, and lose to a Harlem Hangover.

--Now it's Sherri vs Parker, and Dusty's all "Go get em, girlfriend!" which is hilarious. She couldn't have been around much longer than this, which is a travesty. We get a non-finish in the bonus match, but I just saw Sherri Martel bust her ass for no good reason.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 24, 2019, 02:09:02 PM
This Starrcade promo makes no goddamn sense, with a guy who I thought was a midget tearing up Christmas stuff. But who cares because Gene says someone else is coming into WCW and you gotta call the hotline. Never used the hotlines. Even as a kid, I just don't think I gave that much of a shit.

Luger's here, talkin' Sting and WW3 and being humble. What a difference a year makes.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs Psychosis: Well this is ***7/2 and Psychosis hasn't gotten into the ring yet.

--The low-to-midcard was such a cool thing. The nWo became the least interesting part of the show, you know? This show is giving me pangs of regret for the WWF loyalty. I missed on Dean killing Power Rangers by the week.

--Everything Dead does is so calculated. Thinks five moves ahead when he dismantles his luchadores. I think I just caught Tony talking up Brad Armstrong for the battle royal, a winner that would have been awesome. Hogan vs Brad. Rocky/Apollo shit. Dean is still just dismantling Psychosis with furor.

--The thing I like best about Dean matches are those points where he gets slowly more annoyed at his opponent not being a pile of bloody bones that he just starts with the fightin'. 1000 holds are equal to one Deano Machino "fuck you I'm tired of this shit" kick.

--It's been a while, but Dean still hasn't quite warmed up. That's .8 Hammer.

--Tombstones must've been the lungblowers of the time with the juniors. Regardless Dean rolls him up and that's it. But man, bless Dean Malenko.

WCW Tag Titles: Hall and Nash vs Faces of Fear vs Nasty Boys: This depends very heavily on whether Meng can kill anyone.

--I hate the Nasty Boys so fucking much. They always seemed like a joke, the kind of act that only comes on TV when a non-fan pops their head in. That they look like the scariest lesbians of the 1980s didn't do them favors. But the FoF are gonna de-slop them up.

--Outsiders are just chilling outside, which is the right move. Barbarian being the...I don't know, anyone in peril is some stupid booking. He's the Barbarian for fuck's sake.

--Nash blind tags Meng, which takes balls, so now he and Hall stiff them some Nasties. Or, in Nash's case, make contact. Hall still has the best punches of all time. But I can't help but notice that, in a match with six big dudes, Nash has done precious little. Unlike him.

--It's been pretty much all action, I gotta say. I've been in this match more than Nash has, but he took better bumps. The Nasties suck the most at action. Hall and the FoF are pretty on point, but it's the rest. Nash must be resting his brain.

--Like every Nash joke is happening in this match. He tears a quad, the retro-cum from the folks over at Scoops will enter our universe.

--This match has officially worn out its welcome. It did a while ago, but hope springs eternal. Crowd checked out for the non-Outsiders ages ago. Woke up when the Outsiders both get tagged in and failed to pin each other. Should've been the finish. Hall using the megaphone on Knobbs into a Jackknife ends it. That was dumb. It was like watching geese fight but getting distracted and the ducks taking their unhealthy breadcrumbs right there in the Norfolk Scope.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 24, 2019, 02:49:59 PM
Battle royal imminent. Heenan predicts Malenko because he just flat out loves Dean. Dusty rambles about Piper/Hogan and leaves.

So Ring Two has Tony and Bobby calling it. Ring Three has Lee Marshall and Larry Z. Ring One has Dusty and Tenay. This is going to fucking suck harder than life itself. They recap all the stories happening within the battle royal, which could be interesting but c'mon.

The awkward entrances ensue. Go Renegade.

Oh fuck Renegade go Jimmy Gaffiti.

This is sad, kind of. Lotta missed chances. The ensuing Horsemen/Dungeon brawl makes me sadder.

Konnan looks like a jacked, badass version of Dave Lister from Red Dwarf. Just hit me.

Three cameras, can't see shit. Three announce teams, can't hear shit. Oh wait I do hear Tenay putting over Big Ron Studd.

Lee Marshall got knocked down, I guess. Good. He looks hurt, maybe. Grrrrrreat.

Tony Rumble just got tossed! Fuck. Ciclope too?! FUCK.

I wonder if someone ever went through this or another WW3 and did the math to find out which ring cost the most. I know there's clearly stars and scrub tiers, but WCW math makes me really curious. How much was Pez Watley making for this show?

My dream for this concept when I first heard about it was an entire show that was just one long Rumble. Show starts, one and two come out, and by the end all sixty numbers have been out. You could pace it pretty well, I think, with that roster. Instead it's just a total disaster. At least make it easy to follow the guys who actually have a shot. Fucking Joe Gomez deserves less than Luger.

Ooh a Giant vs Roadblock hoss fight. That was cool. I should go back to some old British stuff with fat dudes lightly touching each other, and maybe some of the old wrestling shows as well.

A Villano is gone. I think the AMERICAN MALES are too. Oh shit Male spat.

Mike Rotundo had no business being in this thing so long, and I'll add personally that I don't think he should've been an on-air performer at this point because he was fucking awful.

Jack Boot was real? Awesome.

Now three cameras are looking at one ring and it's nauseating.

I think Regal's been quietly putting on lost classics with like 23 different people.

Dude Regal should've won this. How cool would Hogan/Regal have been? It'd be hilarious.

Down to nWo vs Luger. Luger puts Nash in the Rack like a fucking idiot and Giant pushes them both out.

This show was midweek bar-sex. Starts really well, but it just doesn't keep up in any sense for anything to feel rewarding and you and your partner fall asleep drunk and sad, realizing you have work in the morning. You wake up, they're gone, and next thing you know you're peeling a defeated condom off in the bathroom and rushing out to catch the train once you realize what time it is. But it started so well, you might have to find each other again.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 25, 2019, 02:05:52 PM
I'm just going to go through the World War 3 shows because it doesn't matter too much. If I could measure how I feel, it would absolutely be a three-ring battle royal. That or whatever the physical version of Pink Floyd's The Final Cut is.

So it's 1995 and the title is vacant so the winner of this bullshit gets the title. But this was around my peak as a WCW fan, so I'm probably going to like most of the rest of the card.

Hogan, sans mustache, is with Sting and Savage, with Gene. Oh man, the Darkside Of Hulkamania. But the gist is they are all best friends again and Hogan burns the Observer rag sheet because it lies and the internet is the future. Hogan makes sure we know the black is gone. That's kinda offputting.

World Television Title: Johnny B Badd vs DDP. Winner also gets Kimberly, as well. DDP's fake Nirvana music being cut sucks, but we get Badd's. Life sucks.

--Jim Cornette deserves all the shit he gets, I think, but I heard him once say the problem with Marc Mero was that he was trained to be Johnny B. Badd first and a wrestler second, so he never had a shot. I've always wanted to find fault in that, but he isn't 100% wrong. Mero was really in the zone around this time, though. He was one of my favorites for a while.

--DDP was fucking bad, however. Progressing, but it's a far cry from who he'd be even six months later. He's got the old school heel thing down, though. Very Jimmy Garvin. Kimberly, as always, is beautiful.

--Crowd is way more into this than I'd think, but it's a total old school story and pretty old school kinda match.

--DDP is busting out backbreakers and powerbombs and shit, so I might eat my words a little. There's been a few very clear botches, but overall I'm a little surprised at the chemistry they have.

--Badd wins, saving Kimberly from Diamond Dolldom. She had good facial expressions.

Gene talks about how WE HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF THE WWF STEROID SCANDAL so we should call the hotline. Oh fuck. Gene then talks to both Badd and Kimberly. She's taller than he is. That's all I have.

Taped Fist Match: Jim Duggan vs Big Bubba. It felt like they feuded forever over this taped fist bullshit.

--They go from one ring to another! Oh shit they're using it right. Duggan wedges Bubba's head in between the posts of ring one and two. I popped for that. WCW Duggan is death, but I popped for that.

--So we slow down. I was going to say Bubber had some of the best punches, but the camera catches the worst one of his career as he whiffs that cross-eyed prick's face. Goddamn it, Ray. Wait, fuck the hell are the rules? Last man standing, I guess.

--Bubba adds more tape, because more tape = more goddamn pain. Punching happens and more tape is wound around things and Wallstreet comes out to toss a chain to Bubba. We're 1991 as fuck.

--Bubba wins. This was alternately really solid and total garbage. Kind of like WCW itself.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Baby Shoes on January 25, 2019, 02:45:58 PM
World War 3 95 was the first WCW pay per view I saw.  Someone at my dad's work gave him a tape of it a few days after the event because they knew I was a wrestling fan.  I knew WWF up and down but my mind was blown by the three rings.  That event will always have a special place for me.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 25, 2019, 03:01:56 PM
Gene interviews Flair, who is Flair. We got Flair/Sting tonight, so that's pretty cool. He goes Flair on everyone.

Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto: Oh shit. This might be pretty good. Tenay's out to make it special. I have high hopes.

--I don't care what you say, these are some pretty ladies, and the heels are fucking scary. I've only seen a very, very small amount of joshi from the era, but it's amazing stuff. I'll watch more eventually.

--The crowd is fucking into this. How can you not cheer Cutie and boo Akira, though? Unless you're Kensuke Sasaki. But seriously, they are busting their asses and the crowd is psyched. Signs of cruiserweights to come.

--If Cutie were in Kairi Sane's Anime Navy, they might be doing better, but nah she's in WCW in 1995 like a sucker getting wrecked by Bull Nakano.

--I don't want to come off as underselling it, because I have been to this point, but they are fucking destroying themselves with stiff shots and scary bumps you just didn't see in the States.

--Bull and Akira win. That was a fucking sprint and should've lead to better things for not only their bullshit division but women's wrestling in the states period.

But back to Mean Gene and his hotli--fuck YES Tweener Luger. Luger's pre-nWo days were some of the best. Going from tweener asshole to WCW Front Line guy is just slightly behind Narcissist into Lex Express. Luger will win WW3.

US Title: Kensuke Sasaki vs Chris Benoit: This could be good. Even the Hooters girls are enthralled.

--So Heenan has slowly been selling WCW to Sonny Onoo and NJPW, which was good times, and lead to the world cup thing at Starrcade. Heenan was multi-use and he never got to show it.

--So I admit to being distracted by all kinds of stuff but this feels slow as fuck. Tombstone on Sasaki and flying idiot headbutt doesn't finish.

--I think I'm just only able to watch Benoit before Eddie died. That said taking brainbusters and going for those fucked off headbutts...eh.

--Sasaki wins. This was as disappointing as your third child.

Gene is with the Dungeon who will kill all the Hulkabros in WW3. The Giant really should've just kept the title. Fucker fell off a building, give him the belt. But then the Giant literally says "ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT TO KALIMAZOO!" Holy shit. Give him the belt and book him on Leno, you pussies.

I'm calling it here for now. More eventually, likely soon since Savage/Luger looks to be next.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 30, 2019, 03:02:10 PM
I'm just going to interrupt this silly World War 3 thing briefly for a return to Britain and a trainwreck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNLoEjM43MY

I'm sorry, but I see no way this ends well for anyone. Fingers crossed.

Fucking Haystacks flipping off the crowd is pretty good. Worst worker I have ever seen, but I can be annoyingly easy to please. How did Vince not bring him in, though? Dude just is 500lbs of Hogan fodder.

It's an extended squash, and I can't believe Maeda let that go. He landed some nice chops, but dude was just put out there to get that fat monster to not sell for him and then beat him soundly. Good novelty, though, seeing Maeda. I was just hoping it'd end poorly. Maybe it's the fact I always assume Maeda will wreck people, maybe it was a psychological trigger seeing Haystacks in some Great Antonio tights, but hopes got dashed. Have missed the barely mobile fat dude matches, though, and I don't know why. I've become a backwards mark for dudes like Haystacks.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 30, 2019, 03:23:30 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8m7eMcoqoo

It told me about more fatty matches, it don't get no more fatty than Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks teaming up.

The intro is incredible.

How was Big Daddy the British Hogan? Just HOW? I mean fucking hell, man. But it doesn't matter, since the fat dudes are heels, it looks like. I have a totally minimal knowledge of British wrestling, but I never thought Daddy went heel.

Big Daddy being the workhorse is just fucked up. He just has two moves: hit someone with his gut or a shitty backbreaker. He's willing to bump around for the other guys, though. Know nothing about them, so I'm just thinking of them as the British Killer Bees. Haystacks does nothing, but he actually DOES sell for these guys! Even bumps kinda! This is actually, to my surprise, a fun little match. Big Daddy sucks, but he put these dudes over HARD. Anyone named Tibor should be put over. Just the rules. But I have never seen him bust ass like that, although that isn't saying much. Haystacks wasn't even the legal man two minutes, which is bullshit because I wanted to see him actually do stuff.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 30, 2019, 03:47:32 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psRTMoBiuqg

This speaks for itself. Get one of the greatest wrestlers there is, and put him on Xplosion. TNA, dude. This can be eight or nine years old all it wants, but that's some bullshit.

Doug Williams was awesome, let's not get that twisted. He was a must-watch X Division guy, and the British Invasion were a top act and he hit Shannon Moore with a goddamn brick just because. Give him and Okada 15+ minutes, and you have a dope little match. But you can also have a totally forgettable five minute match on an internet B-show, so whatever, man. But given the roster TNA had at the time, it's fucking irritating to think of all the potential classics (forgotten or otherwise) that could be had.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 31, 2019, 09:39:53 AM
WW3 will probably happen later, if things continue to go as the day is going. Better days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb2NLt1J1ug

So fuck watching a bunch of 2003. I hated it. But I don't remember this, really.

I do remember that this Nash run led to at best adequate matches with HHH, but more importantly him getting minimal promo time. No wonder he's getting Diesel-level reactions. Everyone but HHH and Nash are really over. Flair is in that window where he still LOOKS like Ric Flair, but is rapidly aging. Coach and Lawler are announcing, so yeah. Totally forgot just how much HHH was trying to be Flair, just more bloated and half as interesting, and I say that in comparison to the active 2002 to, say 2005 Flair. Nash puts in some pretty okay effort because his buddies are there, which is always nice to see. I won't lie, I was just in the mood for Nash. He'll land a forearm one day and it'll be fucking sick.

It's so 2003. I don't know how else to describe it. Stuff happened, but nothing mattered because HHH was there and everyone else was secondary. Only guy who looked bad, from a booking standpoint, was Booker. Dude was in the ring what felt like maybe two minutes, three if you count the spinaroonie, and a total nonfactor despite still being over.

Miss the big gold belt. Don't know what you got til it's gone.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 31, 2019, 12:48:39 PM
Back to World War 3 1995.

Lex Luger vs Randy Savage: Preview video has shots of Halloween Havoc and the Yet-ay so that's a star.

--I was SO psyched for this because Savage is my all time favorite and Luger was on the run of a lifetime as tweener. I had no idea Luger was a former WCW guy.

--Savage was 43, I believe, but still was really quick. Him losing a year in the WWF was such a tragic missed opportunity, because this match a year and a half earlier would've been better, workrate-wise. Savage destroying Luger with reckless abandon, though, is awesome regardless.

--The fake arm injury is real, of course, so them rag sheets were telling the truth. I mean unless the story is Luger working the arm because he's an idiot. Also Randy Anderson is an idiot if he's ending the match because of Savage's inability to continue with a fake arm injury. But what to do I know? They've had much better matches that weren't booked like something out of a video game, with the finishers that meant nothing and the submission bullshit from an armbar.

Sting vs Ric Flair: Now Sting, he's fucking stupid. I remember this being ridiculous at the time because I couldn't believe how stupid Sting was. My first "Sting is stupid" moment. But it was a really fun angle and an awesome beatdown, and I like how the whole point was just to fuck with Sting because that's just what Flair does.

--The Pillman-era Horsemen were amazing. It was an absolutely perfect group. Needed more Heenan.

--Flair, especially around this time, did have something I always found distracting. On his lower back, he has this lump. I always wondered what that was. Cyst? Place where they injected shit into his back? I don't know. It was to me what Dusty's splotch is to everyone.

--Sherri and Col. Parker are out here for some reason as Flair and Sting do the usual "***1/2 on a bad day" match. Flair's only got one kneepad so shit might get serious.

--They're being intense and still working the same kind of match they always work, so I feel like only so much can be said. They look like they're enjoying themselves, like it's just a night off working with each other. The only difference is Flair running from ring to ring because he's a chickenshit Ric Flair.

--Sting wins with the Scorpion Shooter, and the crowd goes nuts. Good crowd. But where's my Horsemen beatdown? I need to be uplifted and demand a beatdown because it's right. Fuck.

So video package about the vacant title and a Hogan promo. He'll eliminate Sting and Savage if he has to, but fuck the Dungeon of Doom. Swear he got a bigger pop when he was still wearing black, or maybe because people liked Sting and Savage WAY more. Either way, who cares.

Broadcasts teams are Tony and Bobby, Dusty and Bischoff, and Chris Cruise and Larry. Chris Cruise was so disingenuous. He acted so above everything and took nothing with a measure of seriousness.

The intros reveal not only many other potential matches I'd rather watch, but that the Yeti is now a giant ninja and not a mummy so fuck this shit. Road Warrior Hawk got a giant pop, too. Man, Hawk joining the Dungeon and just stealing the match would've been nice.

Buffer does his shit and it finally starts.

This is a stacked, stacked roster. What the hell were they doing? What a waste of talent, up and down the card. But Hogan is there so cool.

Cobra is wearing neon green tights with black cobras going up the legs. Farmer just ripped Sting off period.

Getting a weird nostalgia for the b-show American Males/Barrio Brothers feud. That's one I don't think I've thought about in a long time.

Guys fighting. Heenan calls Bubba the Bossman. Kurasawa and Craig Pittman are twisting arms off and I'd watch that match. As I write that the dreams of Black Bart end.

If they waited a few years, when TVs had the ability to switch angles or do picture-in-picture and you could SAP to the broadcast team of your choice, this would've worked way better. What if I only care what Brian Pillman and JL are doing? I wish WCW lived just a few years longer.

I don't think the Zodiac has left the same corner during this whole mess. Just find that funny.

A stretcher just got wheeled out but no one has said anything. What happened? I can't see shit.

If this were Battle Bowl rules, where the winner of one ring gets to chill until the winners of the other rings, uh, win, then they throw down, it'd be easier to watch.

Fucking Joey Maggs made it to the last ring. Bobby Eaton didn't, Norton didn't, the Males didn't, but Maggs did. Weird match. There's 29 fucking dudes in one ring and it's a total disaster.

Oh, stretcher was for Scott Armstrong. Sucks. Sucks Hogan and Regal have an exchange and never had a real match, too. Also sucks that Hugh Morrus is just being called Humorous because fuck subtlety. I miss the Man Of Question personally.

Luger and Savage have been beating the shit out of each other all around the ring most of the time, which steals the match anyway because goddamn.

Meng/Kurasawa (Nakinishi, yes?) leads to the latter getting tossed and me wanting yet another match. Fuck.

Stuff happens but even though there's visibility it's just there. Eddie taking an Arn spinebuster is pretty cool. One Man Gang is still there, somehow.

Flair's gone, then Arn's gone. Down to Hogan, Gang, Savage, Luger, Sting, and Giant. Then Hogan dumps Sting, Giant, and Luger like an asshole. Savage wins, Hogan bitches. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

I don't really care how old they are, or where they are, but Savage and Hogan interacting is one of my favorite things in wrestling. It takes me back to being a kid, and even when it's stupid, it can be nice being a kid for a little while.


Shit's over. I'm so, so sorry.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on January 31, 2019, 03:13:29 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XfRRtcVPDA

I am still so, so sorry. But I bring Solie trying to call a woman's midget match, with one of the midgets being the one who lived with Moolah her whole life, ideally in a kennel.

Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 02, 2019, 05:59:15 PM
My mind brain won't let me watch WW3 '97 at the moment because I hated writing about '95 and I frankly don't give that much of a shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMKxYoFzAjg

ALL about this, though. Not seen it since it aired. Shawn at the peak of his second career and Shelton almost ready to break out (but not really). Shawn gives Shelton a lot; he really listened to any and all ideas Shelton had to have had beforehand. I don't think anyone expected them to click SO well. Not even World Champion/pimp Batista. Shelton had never looked better. This was a match I never even knew I wanted when it happened. They are bringing the very best out of each other, and this was probably the first time Shawn ever got to make a guy, and I think he did exactly that. They go move for move with each other, and Shawn made Shelton look like a star.

It's a great example, too, of how to put someone over without having them actually win the match. That finish is still AWESOME, and it only went down because of Shelton's inexperience and Shawn being savvy. They packed more into the 10 or so minutes they had than the last half of the most recent Takeover did in the last half of the card. I don't know how this measures up now, but I have no problem giving it a 2005 ****1/2, if you're the star type.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 02, 2019, 06:11:46 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrKo7KRXgmE

WSX should've worked. I mean it shouldn't have, but it should've made an impact beyond a curiosity. I hope the people who suck Lucha Underground's dick remember they're tickling the balls grown by Wrestling Society X.

So anyway, Kriss Kloss and other dudes are announcing and the fans are 2/3 plants, if I remember. This is edited really weird. Did they do multiple takes, too? It's also falls count anywhere because there's NO RULES IN WSX. Waltman's game, and Vampiro seems more game than he'd been in at least three years. Game enough to Tombstone Waltman into an exploding coffin and win the title.

This shit had another season in it. They at least had a WSX vs CKY Wargames in them.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 02, 2019, 06:17:22 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w700tQuromw

Boni Blackstone and her husband (somehow) Joe Pedicino use their time to run down the show for really creepy banter and a gag I don't get. Boni should've blinked her way to the WWF. Hot damn.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 02, 2019, 06:33:53 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33k7aO1s2Oo

If I did this one already, I can deal. I mark for both guys so hard I'll watch it again. Vader and Borga is a dream match. These were my dudes when I needed a big heavyweight team in EWR.

Borga just straight up boxes, lotta shots to Vader's gut like he's King Hippo or some shit. Vader just Vaders the shit out of him. I'm liking this. Vader being better in almost every possible way is just going to make this match. Borga, who I will defend as a worker, had some good power stuff. All three of his moves look sweet. But the more you hurt Vader, the more you hurt yourself. When Vader his the "Get up you fucking toughguy!" point on someone who worked stiff with him, it's a special moment. Borga sure looks a lot like Brock, by the way.

Whoa! Vader went for a butt splash, and Borga reversed it into a pin! Tony Ludwig Borga Halme beat Big Van Vader CLEAN in Japan. If I'd known about this then, hell yes I'd think he'd rip Luger limb from limb.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 02, 2019, 06:52:14 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh4VCdLew9E

I've never seen the Malenko Brothers, to my knowledge. I can already hear a "boring" chant. GWA, how dare you?

Never expected I'd see the Malenkos as a high energy babyface team. It's a pleasant surprise, I guess, but I just thought of them more as Ice Men.But small faces against fat crusty guys, that's always a winner. especially taking into account Dean only knew maybe 385 holds at the time, and no one knows what Joe really knew. Baby Dean, though, at least doesn't look like your friend's cool dad. Malenko win with some TWIN MAGIC bullshit. Then we get Boris and his victory cigar, which Dean ends up getting put in his eye because heels. He flails around like Frank Dux before his training montage. This feud gotta continue.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 03, 2019, 01:02:04 AM
Plunge through WW3 97, man. There's a solid Ultimo/Nagata match and one of my favorite Raven matches from WCW. I think Saturn and Disco have a pretty solid bout, too, and there's an Eddie/Rey rematch.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 03, 2019, 09:24:39 AM
I might at least start today at some point, because no cable means no Super Bowl and I just need to do something today for my own sanity.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 03, 2019, 12:23:18 PM
After several embarrassing failures to dubiously watch the Super Bowl, I'm just going to watch WW3 '97 for a while.

The opening video is the WCW Fallout mod I've always wanted. Their production definitely did pick up over the years.

Auburn Hills, not Norfolk. Expansion. The one thing that hasn't moved is Bobby Heenan who looks just defeated. Mike Tenay, though, looks enthusiastic as fuck. But the gist is winner goes to SuperBrawl to take on the WCW Champion.

Glacier and Ernest Miller vs Faces of Fear: Ohhhh shit. Faces of Fear are one of my favorite power teams of all time, and Glacier always pissed me off.

--Meng and the Barbarian selling this goofy, super-light karate shit is wrong. I mean, dude.

--Miller has no character beyond Karate Man, and it feels so weird. It's even weirder when he's teaming with Fake Sub-Zero. That Glacier gimmick really was at least two years too late.

--A sign says "Ivan's A Homo," so good for Ivan. Go big or go home.

--FoF work Glacier over as the announcers ignore the match, but it isn't like I'm being super attentive despite watching and typing at the same time. I'll just say Barbarian was my guy in WCW/nWo Revenge. Meng too, somewhat, but for some reason Barbarian was my best guy.

--Glacier works so light. He's the exact opposite of Steve Blackman, really. Blackman would kill people. Hell Miller is picking up the stiffness. But Meng death grips him right in the Tonga and it's over. As I write that I notice the South Park sign with Stan saying "Oh my god! They killed the nWo!" That's 1997 and I love it.

World TV Title: Saturn vs Disco Inferno. Saturn should just kill him.

--Saturn's another guy I've always liked, and a guy I can't believe was the least successful Radical. I have never liked Disco, never will like Disco, and find it hard to watch Disco.

--I remember a shoot, maybe with Raven, that said Disco always jerked off before matches because he wanted to "glow" on camera. I think that ruined my perception. Like I watch this and I just hope Saturn isn't taking punches and shit from someone who I hope has clean hands. That's just one of those things I could've gone my life without knowing, you know? Too far behind the curtain.

--Something isn't clicking. it's like Saturn is is taking a while to get warmed up. But it picks up huge in the last few minutes. Disco having the stunner as a finish is hilarious, though. Hitting it on the Flock near the end was kind of amazing.

Mean Gene has a hotline update on stuff. I wonder what that number is now. The Giant, the winner of last year's clusterfuck, has a busted thumb. He's noticeably bigger, too. When did he get the de-gigantism surgery? Anyway, he's going to fuck Scott Hall up for breaking his thumb.

Yuji Nataga vs Ultimo Dragon. ***********2/9 already.

--Camera keeps looking for hot girls, and I think I just saw future TNA cage dancer Lollipop.

--Nagata is the shit, and my other Revenge guy. I'm already into this. Just watching Ultimo do martial arts stuff vs seeing Glacier do it makes this match for me.

--Sonny Oono was around way longer than I remember. Guy had Harvey Wippleman longevity.

--It's like these guys just want to fight it out to see who's best. That's cool. Crowd couldn't care less, it seems like, but Nagata destroying Ultimo with kicks and piledrivers is what it's all about. This probably should've opened and the Glacier match probably should've been on Main Event.

--This match is awesome, but the crowd is alternately distracted or dead. I'm going to blame this twat in the Korn shirt right in my eyeline.

--So much talk of tapping out. I didn't know it became THE thing that fast. Surreal hearing Bobby Heenan talk about tapping out.

--Nagata wins with Onooference. They got the crowd back by the end and I'm really happy because that was really good stuff. I think people were probably just so conditioned to masks = highspots, and Ultimo being able to pretty much work any style, got them thrown off.

WCW Tag Team Titles: The Steiner Brothers vs the Blue Bloods. Oh fuck it's Dibiase-era Steiners.

--No fan in their right mind thought Dibiase with the Steiners would work. It was a swerve that never, ever delivered. But then Dibiase was pointless once Bischoff turned a year before anyway, so...I dunno. He'd have been better with the Bloods, quite frankly.

--The UK stuff I watch sometimes has given me a new appreciation for Dave Taylor. He was really good, but I definitely see the transition to the States being a hard one. Regal and Eaton were probably a better team, but Regal and Taylor were more interesting, if that makes sense. In another era, or another country, they would've been the top team they always should've been.

--Regal is bloated and high as fuck. He keeps smiling like a crazy person and has tried to awkwardly strut for no reason several times. This seems like a post-Goldberg "fuck you here's the Steiners" match.

--Scott Steiner's evolution into Big Poppa Pump has started. He's getting bigger and rocking a goatee. Kinda marking for the future.

--Steiner bulldog ends it, but it isn't like the Bloods had a chance. This has to be one of the last times "Steinerized" was used. That was the holdout theme.

Gene has JJ Dillon, one of the most underrated authority figures, trying to get Raven to sign a contract. If he doesn't sign, he's not allowed on WCW TV. Dude's sitting ringside at shows and you're the one who lets him book himself in Raven's Rules matches. Raven should actually sue WCW for back pay.

Raven vs Scotty Riggs.

--Eyepatch Riggs, clean-shaven with the Sean Bean ponytail, just doesn't work. Riggs period wasn't much, but he looks goofy. But he is wearing those fucking cool Shawn Michaels boots.

--I didn't watch ECW so I had no idea who Raven was or why they were talking him up. It only dawned on me later that he was Johnny Polo. I also had the mixed blessing of only catching WCW TV when he was cutting a promo and never wrestling for quite some time. I did like that there was a guy named Raven hanging out with guys named Saturn and Hammer, because that sounded fucking badass. Raven has since become a personal favorite, and seeing how WCW actually pushed him is pretty neat. For the nWo/Goldberg era, he got as much of a rocket push as a heel could get.

--This is a less-is-more kind of hardcore brawl, which Raven did very well. He's cutting a promo on Riggs, blaming and trying to convert Riggs at the same time. Evenflows and a win by knockout. There's maybe five US wrestlers who I feel like hit DDTs properly, and Raven's one of them. The Flock carry him off to the Flock Reeducation Center. Big shoutout to Sick Boy, too, for not waiting on Kane for revenge.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 03, 2019, 01:44:56 PM
Mongo vs Goldberg. I like Mongo's chances.

--Mongo was really Jeff Jarrett's charisma in a hulking, slow body. He cuts very Jarrett promos, and when him and Jarrett were beefin' it felt weird. But regardless, Goldberg is knocked out backstage, so Debra drags Alex Wright out as a replacement. I forgot that weird stable happened.

--Why is Alex Wright afraid of Mongo? He moves slower than a sloth on Xanax. Although it looks more like a Klonopin night since Mongo's all spry and not tuckered out yet. But Wright is motherfucking Das Wunderkind.

--Sign says "Debra Must DIE!!" which is a little harsh. She has enough problems. Dicks.

--For real, this needed to be Goldberg. I know Goldberg wrecks him eventually, but come on. Something must have happened. Mongo wins with a really good looking Tombstone.

They are breezing through this card. Show is already the best one so far. It's night and day.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio Jr.: This can only be good and I refuse to be wrong.

--Slimy Scumbag Eddie was his best work. I miss that music, too. Seeing just his mannerisms makes me really see where CM Punk got a lot of inspiration.

--So these dudes are arguably at their peak as workers and going fast, move for move. I'm pretty much just going to hang back and watch most of this.

--Yeah, this was awesome. Ridiculous chemistry. Just a gear below Halloween Havoc.

I'll do more in a bit.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 04, 2019, 12:03:18 PM
The finish for Raven/Riggs remains one of my all-time favorites. If nothing else, it totally summarizes the Raven character.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 04, 2019, 01:14:06 PM
I've been shocked going back and seeing that somehow WCW actually got the character, at least for a while. Either they got it or just let Raven do whatever he wanted while they tunnel-visioned the nWo. Him getting on the Revenge cover blew my mind when it came out and instantly made him feel huge and special. I still think his big TNA run where he didn't win the title was his best in ring work, however.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 04, 2019, 01:49:35 PM
It was the latter: Bischoff was willing to let Raven do what he wanted until the DDP feud, pretty much, and his drop not long after was partially due to the Revenge cover. He was popular, easily the most over heel who wasn't in the nWo, and when he brought it up? Bye bye push. I totally agree that his reinvigorated indies/TNA/ROH run in 2003 is definitely his best from a ringwork standpoint, but nothing tops that first ECW run or the first year in WCW for pure quality storytelling and character.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on February 04, 2019, 02:06:31 PM
Everybody shits on them but some of my favorite Raven work character wise were those "depressed Raven" skits at his home with Kanyon. I mean, you had Sandman throwing Kanyon in a pool. How do you not love that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LTnd0BdgtU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96stndsnkH0
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 04, 2019, 03:58:28 PM
I have really fond memories of those because it really made me get the character in a way. I could appreciate that, as stupid as those skits were, what the character originally was, if that makes sense. Like how it ruined a lot of character rules you wouldn't think were established.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on February 05, 2019, 03:37:21 AM
I'll admit that a big part of why I love those skits is Kanyon's comedic timing. There was another vignette that had Raven uncovering a picture of Roddy Piper in his closet which was supposed to set up a feud between the two but it was quickly scrapped.

I still believe that Kanyon is one of the more underappreciated talents of the late 90s/early 2000s. He made almost everything he was given work.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Spaceman Spiff 🚀 on February 05, 2019, 04:29:08 AM
Kanyon was the best, from new-move-every-week Mortis to Positively Kanyon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64_Ne-k6WX0
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 05, 2019, 04:43:26 AM
Positively Kanyon was incredible
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 05, 2019, 02:13:05 PM
Kanyon deserved so much better. I wish WWE had just fired him when he was injured. He'd have been a perfect fit for TNA's first few years, at the very least.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 05, 2019, 03:12:32 PM
I think I tried writing about WW3 last night and just gave up, because I don't remember being at the Flair/Hennig match.

US Title: Curt Hennig vs Ric Flair, already in progress.

--Heenan comes to life! These are pretty much the biggest Heenan guys that aren't Andre. Andre would've been an awesome Horseman.

--Hennig visually deteriorated so much when he got to WCW, but he's looking a lot like the Curt Hennig I like to remember: ramen-haired and kickin' ass. Them out-heeling one another, both working each other's legs for their finishers, capturing the crowd with it. Hennig selling leg kicks like shotgun blasts is exactly what I wanted today.

--I'm really liking this, and I'm very surprised because I wrote Hennig off as being done. These guys needed more years to fight and team and fight again. The chemistry they have is so much fun. I actually am liking this as much as Eddie/Rey, but for completely different reasons. It's a totally different match, but it's just as fun. Might not be a better match, but man.

--Flair fucks Hennig's leg up with a chair in some masterful fashion, but Hennig hits him with the belt when he gets the Figure Four on. Belts hurt more than chairs so Hennig wins. That was great. US Title came a long way from '95. ************** just for Heenan praising Hennig waffling Flair with the belt, but another *********for the match.

Michael Buffer. Guy's like $10k a word. Impressive. My favorite useless WCW expense was just getting him so often for no real reason. He's no Fink.

They march everyone out for the three-ring clusterfuck. They do such a good job of making everyone feel equally not special. Luger and the Giant coming out alongside Bobby Blaze and shit.

nWo get their own entrance. We got Bagwell, Hall, Savage, Vincent, Hennig, and Rick Rude with them. Rude had just debuted, apparently, which means I knew exactly when I didn't watch this show.

Just Tony, Heenan, and Tenay calling it and be confused as such. Better than the whole gang.

Kendall Windham looks almost identical to Luke Gallows.

Tony repeatedly explaining variations on the "every man for himself" aspect is grating. I fucking know Silver King and Ernest Miller wouldn't team up anywhere else. Everyone does.

Renegade. Aw. Now that dude should've been in the nWo. nWo Fake Warrior would've been some good heat. I just always feel bad for Renegade, though.

Benoit's only fighting people he's worked with before, like Eddie and Regal. Pussy.

It took like five guys to take out Greg Valentine. That's awesome.

Wait why is John Nord still in? Shit. Even John Nord is more important than an Armstrong.

Ray Traylor is moving well. That's a real surprise. Good showing, looks like his old Bossman self.

John Nord has outlasted Fit Finlay, Chris Benoit, Dave Taylor, and Dean Malenko. What the hell, man? Only two of those guys are vanilla midgets.

I'm guessing Nash not being out there, and the announcers repeatedly telling me about it, means something stupid happens.

Wright and Mortis are trying to clothesline Giant out. Works as expected. A Kanyon and Wright team would've had some real potential. Now Meng is going HAM on Giant as only Meng can, then Giant dropkicks him out. Fucking awesome. I can't believe this is the same guy as Big Show.

Five WCW guys vs five nWo Guys. Booker getting a rub by association is nice. I gotta say, though, that Savage should never have been in the nWo. THAT was bullshit.

Final four are DDP, Savage, Giant, and Hall. I actually don't know how this will go. I'm saying Hall just because at the time it seems like'd make the most sense.

So Savage takes a chokeslam, gets rolled under the bottom rope, and is eliminated. The fuck? We under Iron Sheik rules?

Hall runs away, does the double finger point thing I thought was so cool as a kid, and is waiting on someone. And suddenly here comes Hogan. That's really fucking awesome. Guaranteeing himself a rematch no matter what makes sense for the glory hog. Fans erupt with "We Want Sting!"

Hogan slamming the Giant is the best. My favorite Hollywood Hogan moments were when he'd use his Hulkamania powers for evil, and being in Detroit makes it all the better.

A seven-foot Sting appears, scares Hogan out and bats the Giant out. The announcers can't tell what the fans already know. Outsiders swerve everyone, Hall wins. Hall vs Hogan does kinda interest me. This had to be leading to Outsiders/Mega Powers, which means we got cheated out of WCW Liz taking her skirt off as a distraction.

"Starrcade will have the REAL Sting! Not an imposter!" Tony really makes it sound like he's lying every time he says anything Sting-related.

----

Best one of these yet. The clusterfuck didn't matter until the very end, as it goes, but it all breezed by and had some really good matches. Sort of sums up WCW, really.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 05, 2019, 04:36:39 PM
And onto 1998, now featuring Bret Hart and Scott Putski.

Goldberg arrives, with an entourage of goofs led by Doug Dillinger. At least Goldberg looks like a legit fighter getting out of a limo. He had Beats By Dre headphones, I'd know for sure.

Tony, Heenan, and Tenay. Heenan wants out.

Tony calls Mean Gene "the man with the stick." Ugh. On all levels. But Heenan is going on the hotline later to talk about the show. I'd be interested in that, especially if he's just drunk. Actually no because it wouldn't be fun drunk, it'd be sad pathetic drunk. I don't want that.

Glacier vs Wrath: This must've been Wrath being over before Nash got him. Fans are into it.

--Bryan Clarke was a good enough worker with a great look who got crazy unlucky most of his career. He had upper-card all over him.

--They aren't talking about their mysterious pitfighter ninja history. Why can't announcers just have some continuity?

--Hollywood Hogan is NOT here, I assume because he's either still trying to light that paper on fire or is going to say the show tanked without him and get a raise tomorrow night.

--Fans are noticeably quieter than '97, but still very into it. Good times, those Monday Night Wars. Crushed by options.

--Glacier goes for the Icepick (Asiatic Spike), can't do shit, Meltdown. HUGE reaction. An evil Bizarro Goldberg would've lead to some awful matches but made some good money.

Bret gets a promo video that's him just being him, which makes him a heel. Bret vs DDP later, which will be better than it should be.

Stevie Ray vs Konnan: Fuck.

--Wolfpac vs Black and White and it's bowdy bowdy. Stevie Ray is in over his head with this single push and Konnan blows. Stevie should be in the booth where he belongs.

--And we slow down. We slow down hard. They're now saying the winner of WW3 gets a title shot at Starrcade, so that spoils that.

--The announcers, ignoring the match, reminded me of Bam Bam Bigelow: Goldberg Hunter. Somehow Bam Bam felt like the best foil for Goldberg to me. If I remember right they even had a couple okay matches.

--Oh so Konnan gets DQ'd for pushing the ref. Well. Booker comes out to help Stevie, they have tension. I really don't care.

Sonny Oono and the Cat vs Kaz Hayashi and Saturn: The fuck is this Lethal Lottery shit? Alright, cool.

--The Cat now has charisma and is entertaining now. He suddenly got how wrestling works. Onoo is still around and still doing nothing. He's in this match, in a comedy gi, but no one cares.

--Kaz and Saturn feel like an EWR tag team that gets over immediately. More random teams have to happen in this day and age. Saturn and Cat don't have terrible chemistry, either.

--Sonny Onoo is trying to be Jimmy Hart, Cornette, and Danny Davis all at once, but the problem is people CARED and WANTED to see them get their shit pushed in with babyface fury. Sonny's whole "I am Japanese!" Chinpokomon gimmick is so bad.

--Saturn set up this whole time to be the monster. Suplexes and submissions beat kickboxing. He could've ripped Sonny's arms off in the first ten seconds and saved this whole match.

--Just as I say that, Cat knocks him out with a Badr Hari to the face and Sonny gets the pin. Kaz is in the corner not making the save like an idiot.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs Kidman. Gene immediately runs out to expose Juvy as a member of the LWO. Oh man, the lWo. Really wonder how this would go over today.

--Kidman was HUGE at my school. People loved him as much as they did Goldberg or Konnan (those were the big three of WCW). Kidman's development got stunted somewhere. I'm not saying he'd change the business or anything like that, but he had a little Owen Hart in him that never came out. I'm just going to blame Hogan for it.

--So Juvy, being a very unattractive man, is able to move faster because the air in front of him is running in terror. Mask is missed. But these dudes be flyin' around and breathing a little heavy. That must mean it's time for movez.

--You can tell the influence the cruisers had just the modern style, period, but there's still a lot of stuff you just don't see anymore. I guess if this match was worked now in NXT, for instance, I wonder if people would love it or hate it. I dunno, I just find it interesting. Spotfests Suck vs Spotfests Rule people aren't as loud as they once were. To me, anyway.

--Juvy Wiseau is really showing how limited Kidman is. He's doing moves without doing highspots, Kidman does Rey but half as well. That ugly fuck can strategize.

--Juvy Driver, but both guys are out. Juvy tries a 450, Kidman reverses to a pin, and gets a near fall. Lil Naitch was out of position, there.

--Shooting Star wins it for Kidman after some Rey interference. Kidman's Shooting Star is ghastly. Mero was the best.

Eddie wants to know if Rey is in or out of the lWo. Rey says no. Eddie and company chase him.

I'm done for the moment.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 06, 2019, 02:34:30 PM
Recap of the Outsiders/nWo breakup tease. Time makes this all seem so stupid.

Scott Steiner vs Rick Steiner. This is a lie.

--Poppa Fucking Pump. Bless that fucking guy. He feels like a top guy already.

--So no match, nWo beatdown on Rick backstage until the Giant drags him out. Why is the Giant in the nWo again? I never got WCW. I would've really been down to see even this era of the Steiners fight. They had a classic them somewhere, where one stiffs the other and the other goes apeshit and they just throw down. Even busted-ass Rick Steiner at this point could've had his only good match with Scott, I'm sure of it, because Scott wouldn't let him look bad. But, hey, we get a mini-match.

--Goldberg is out to save Rick from Scott and Buff, and the fans are fucking nuts. Seriously, Goldberg had another six months left in his reign at least. They're even building to a Scott Steiner match. The "Goldberg just destroys the nWo one by one" thing writes itself. But Steiner had such fucking presence, like Batista did before he broke out.

Scott Hall vs Kevin Nash.

--So Bischoff somes out before Nash does, and gets the nWo to turn on Hall. Okay. Nash makes the save. Okay. Big "OUTSIDERS" chant. They just pissed all kinds of money away, didn't they? Nash leaves Hall hanging with the clique sign.

I seriously underestimated how much Nash and Hogan really did fuck up. All these directions feel like they'd draw, even if it's a reshuffling of dudes, and it might've still been a war. It's remarkable. It's so funny it goes all the way back around to disappointing.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs Bobby Duncum Jr.: RALPHUS.

--They cut out Jericho's music and dub in his WWE theme, and it doesn't not work but it isn't right. I can't believe Jericho is still going at a high level. He looks just SO young that it's hard to think the same guy is one of the all time names and still extremely relevant.

--I have more of a chance than Duncum does. He had a good look to him, though. Jerry Lynn and Barry Windham put together. I mostly remember him teaming with Kendall Windham, and even that's really vague. Seems like one of those guys who was alright and had some potential before he died, but that makes up literally every person ever, really, so forget it.

--The fans VASTLY prefer Jericho, of course, so the dynamic is all weird. They both take turns heeling it up, which seems like Duncum not able to be a face more than anything. Total clash. Jericho would've been much better off if Goldberg killed him and Ralphus in five minutes.

--Ralphus might be the ugliest guy I have ever seen on a wrestling show. If only he lived long enough to get a picture taken in a Selena Gomez shirt.

--This match sucks. Jericho is trying, Duncum is trying something else, and the announcers are talking about the condition Wrath and Glacier will be for the battle royal. You know it's bad when people would rather talk about Glacier's chances in WW3 than a title match.

--Tony is sniping at Heenan hard for no reason. My theory always was Tenay got the consistent gig was because both guys liked him and he could keep the bullshit to a minimum.

--Jericho wins by Ralphus and beltshot. That was pretty ugly and very below what Jericho should've been doing.

Wait the battle royal is now? Bret and DDP get the main event? I'm not sure how I feel about this. I kinda wanted to see Bret in the clusterfuck match, to tell you the truth.

Hole in One Barry Darsow can take this. The announcing of guys this time is much better. It makes them seem like they matter slightly more than just filing out.

Riggs is twice the size he was last year. So's Benoit. Tony calls Bobby Eaton a "wild card." I want to be in that world. I want Bobby Eaton vs Goldberg main eventing Starrcade.

Konnan still looks like Lister from Red Dwarf. But fuck that the Renegade was STILL around? He came out looking so sad.

TOKYO MAGNUM and hippie Van Hammer. What a weird roster. La Parka got a great reaction, though. And why are they still talking up Glacier having a shot at anything? Glacier is the only guy winning that wouldn't be awesome. But man the roster isn't what it was the year before.

Nash is Dieselin' the fuck outta his ring. Poor Johnny Swinger.

So the rules are really just not being able to leave the ring anymore? I gotta say, kayfabe-wise, that makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't want to see Mike Enos robbed.

Nash cleared his ring, but fuck that, I'm for Wild Card Bobby Eaton. I mean, he's in the same ring as Hall and Rey and Booker and Giant but he's the goddamn Wild Card. They haven't covered Ring 3 at all, just Ring 2 and shots of Nash breathing heavy.

I don't see Bobby Eaton anymore. Fuck that. Push new talent.

Giant is dominating his ring, but he looks miserable. I'm really glad they stopped the split screen but they're doing a terrible job of explaining who is where, and to be fair it isn't like it matters. There's like six guys who have a chance.

It's weird that Scott Hall was in WW3s, and even won one, but never was in a Royal Rumble. It's like how it's weird to me that Jesse Ventura called only one Undertaker match.

Rey's out, we're down to one ring. Rey? Really? Jeez. I don't want to sound like I don't love the guy, but Rey is more important than Scott Norton.

Forget the murders and Chris Benoit is still a classic example of toxic Horsemanality.

Bigelow is out for some reason, but gets held off by nWos. Goldberg is out and we got a brawl. They just pissed so much good stuff away.

Where's Sting at? I'm going to guess rehabbing something or other. Flair was being sued. Hennig, though? What about Raven?

They all band together to get rid of the "550+lbs" Giant. Come on, man. Says a lot when the WWF was more honest.

Down to Nash, Luger, and Hall. Something different, finally. I'll just enjoy Hall's awesome punches.

Nash wins, somehow both being lazy and not.

US Title: DDP vs Bret Hart.

--Seeing Bret is a total breath of fresh air. Fuck Doug Dillinger for letting that jacket get stolen. I have faith in this match, though.

--WCW had a LOT of female crew members and photographers. I've noticed that the last couple shows. I want to think that's really cool for the time period and not just assume wrestling sleaze is involved, but I don't know. Really fucked up I have to second guess that.

--Bret's not coasting, but his heart isn't in it. The only things I think are keeping him going is that it's a main event and DDP, who works hard every time. I think when the jacket got stolen, so did any and all passion. I feel almost like I can prove that.

--DDP goes for the Sharpshooter and it's the worst Sharpshooter I've ever seen. Wrestling needs more dudes getting beat by their own finishers, though. I'm going to complain about the last 20 years all at once.

--Ringpost figure four, the move that embodies evil Bret. He's not in the zone, but there's flashes of past Bret. But as I say this I feel like I just saw Bret hit cruise control. Like a switch got hit and all of a sudden it feels VERY clear he's relying on DDP's script. That was weird.

--Ref bump. Foreign object. nWo Silly Ref calls it for Bret. "That's as lame as it can go!"-Tony Schiavone.

--Ah, but Lil Naitch is up as DDP hits the Diamond Cutter, so it's over. This started fine, but it took way too long for where they were going, and at some point Bret turned into IRS. Like, if you're a star person, **1/2.

So they ran a big show without their World Champion having a match, no Sting, no Flair, no Raven, no Hennig, no Savage, and two final matches should 100% have been swapped. Lotta ominous things hanging over this show.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 06, 2019, 04:01:33 PM
I thought there was at least one more WW3, but then it just became Mayhem, and I don't wanna Mayhem. I can barely move, but I gotta write about something. WWE Network Randomizer Site sayyyyyys...WCW SuperBrawl 5. Was very much hoping it wouldn't be WCW, but I will follow the rules. Maybe actually figure out a format for any of this shit that makes it suck less for those who read it.

Baltimore Arena! Rasslin'! Presented in the most complete form possible due to technical difficulties!

1.) Alex Wright vs Paul Roma (JIP): Oh THIS match, okay. Roma's got the job face on, but more of a "JOB face?!"

--Orndorff is coming out to cheer on Roma. Had WCW just reunited Power and Glory, they'd still be in business. Roma's having none of this "selling" business. Wright is such a deer in the headlights.

--Some indie had to have gotten Roma and Tom Zenk to team up. Like just some asshole promotion thinking they were clever.
i bet they'd have gotten along.

--Heenan is ON in the early days. It's great. I can deal with Heenan gleefully bashing Das Wunderpunk.

--Snug work from Roma. So snug it warms up the briefly cooled "Boring" chants. Orndorff seems to be out here to occasionally cheat but mostly keep an eye on Roma being unprofessional.  Wonderful Troubleshooter.

--Roma hits a Savage elbow, and pulls Wright up at 2. I think the German beanpole is annoyed. Roma decides to fuck up a hiptoss and a spinning heel kick. Then he kicks out of the finish, but the ref counts anyway. So ends Paul Roma.

Gene's with Harlem Heat and Sister Sherri. Oh my goooood Sherri. Sherri's crazy hot here, to the point I can't even think of something worth saying about Gene mixing up Booker T and Stevie Ray. Sherri's attractiveness never ceases to surprise me.

Bunkhouse Buck vs Jim Duggan. I got a bad feeling about this, man.

--WCW Duggan is so fucking weird because he just doesn't want to do anything. He spent his whole pre-cancer run just not wanting to work with people, but just to be this big wall of no-selling and immobility. I don't know how to put it.

--Buck is great, though. What was the obsession with bunkhouses in the NWA/WCW? Bunkhouse Brawls, Bunkhouse Stampedes, Bunkhouse rules...I can see it as a regional thing, I suppose, but some dude named Bunkhouse Buck who LOOKS like Bunkhouse Buck seems like he'll just hogtie you and have his way with you before the sun comes up. But the idea of Bunkhouse anything in a mainstream promotion just stinks.

--Sloooooooow. Headlocks and chinlocks for all. At least Col. Parker and Meng are at ringside. Dusty loved his bodyguards with suits and sunglasses.

--Why is this match still fucking happening? Fans are at least responding to Duggan when HOOOOOs. I bet certain cities liked Duggan far more than Hogan around this time. WCW fans seemed to embrace all these guys BUT Hogan.

--Three Point Stance wins, finally, and then Meng uses the Spike on Duggan. All that meant nothing. Even Meng looked bad.

Heenan is drunk and still ruling. If he isn't drunk, he owns a TARDIS and got his early 1994 self out for the night.

Gene has the Nasty Boys. I fucking despise the Nasty Boys. They are everything embarrassing about pro wrestling. They're the guys the non-fans walk in and see. Brian Knobbs is the worst at everything. The only thing they have going for them is looking like the scariest lesbian couple on the face of the earth.

Kevin Sullivan vs Dave Sullivan. NO. I don't care if the Butcher is out there to make me laugh bitterly.

--Kevin made sure Dave can't be a Hulkamaniac because he destroyed the magic slippers and cut his hair. Thanks, Kev. I really mean that. Trying to pick what kind of mental retardation Dave has and thus knowing how disgusted to feel became easier because of you, man. He don't got the bunny yet, though.

--Dave is twice as good as a face than he was as a heel. Interpret that however you want.

--How in the name of god is Dave Sullivan vs Kevin Sullivan way better than Duggan vs Buck? It should be equal suck. I'd put Kevin above all three, but it isn't like he's the second coming of the inventor of pro wrestling, President Abe Lincoln.

--I can't believe Vince never made a play for Evad. He and the bunny could've been icons of the new generation.

--The Butcher's screwface is hurt. Kev helps him up the aisle a ways, then dumps him, thus butchering a friendship.

Big Bubba and Avalanche are with Mean Gene. Just like the good days. Tenta and Vader never interacting is a lame.


And the Nasties/Heat match will have to wait because it'll suck rocks and I just don't want to watch wrestling anymore.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 10, 2019, 01:08:34 PM
Fuck it. It's snowing and fucking cold and it isn't like I can go anywhere.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs Nasty Boys. Shit.

--Automatic star for Sherri. Heenan was right: she's a dreamboat.

--WCW's tag team division being so much better than the WWF's was is wild. I wonder what chance Well Dunn would've had where the big boys play.

--I hate the Nasties so much. Deep, deep hate. Unless they're getting murdered by Steiners or murdering Cactus Jack, they're useless. They're working over Stevie Ray's legs, and I say legs because Knobbs is working the right and Sags is working the left, and I don't think Stevie is sure what to do.

--Sags was the superior Nasty Boy. Come at me.

--Sherri-ference. She was so good, one of the most underappreciated managers ever. Anyone who can still interfere in both heels and a skin-tight pleather dress is a GOAT-tier.

--Sherri accidentally hits Stevie Ray with her shoe and the Nasties win...until we get the Dusty finish because Knobbs through Booker over the top rope. WCW. That top rope thing was always bullshit, in my opinion.

That was terrible. But Heenan is lit. Good fun.

Gene has Savage and Sting to hype the tag match with Bubba and Avalanche. Savage is just pacing back and force hitting things and yelling "I'M NOT TALKING!" because he's fucking awesome. Sting and Savage felt on the same level to me, which is great, but it shows how terrible Hogan was. Savage and Sting feel like top guys, but Hogan didn't. I don't know how to explain it. Hogan was just a red and yellow cloud lingering over everything.

Gene: Back to you, Tony! And, uh, how is your partner the weasel doing?
Tony: I think you know how he's doing.

Tony and Bobby hype the Dustin vs Blacktop Bully feud, and drunk Heenan is on fire.

Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes. Just before anything happens, Nick Bockwinkel forces Meng to the back. Goddamn it, Bock.

--Barry Darsow is an unsung hero who got given all kinds of stupid gimmicks, but threw himself into them and made them as entertaining as possible. Him being an angry trucker is probably the best gimmick he had not named Smash. Blacktop Bully was a SUCH a fucking dumb name, though. That sounds like something a teacher calls an asshole eight year old during a parent teacher conference.

--This feud should be rekindled in AEW within the next couple years. Then it leads to the fight on the truck, filmed with drones in HD and shit.

--The fans chant "KFC" at Col. Parker. Is that wittier or stupider than the "Burger King" chants? Both make me feel a kind of shame only wrestling fans can feel.

--Solid, shocking speedy match with these guys. Dustin was always reliable, Darsow was always putting in effort, and it's clicking. The pacing is much faster than I'd have thought. Dustin is trying to wrestle and not get into a straight up fight, Darsow is trying to fight because fuck that shit. Darsow was a really good big man when the characters let him.

--I can't believe Dustin will be Goldust by the end of the year. That's mindblowing.

--Heenan is annoying Tony in the best possible way. This is some good work by the Brain, trashed though he may be. Makes me want to track down his best WCW work: calling that Duggan match and hearing about his college career.

--Bulldog, but the Col. puts Darsow's foot on the rope. My inner Monsoon said he'd never pin him with a lateral press.

--Darsow wins, Col. interference. I'm kind of annoyed at that, to be honest. These guys went move for move and Darsow just cheating like a man without interference would've been much better, but I'm not WCW in 1995.

They're hyping Hogan vs Vader as the epic showdown is should be. Gene is hyping an interview with Vader and a chair goes flying past his head. Awesome. Vader cuts the Vader promo. He was fucking scary.

And now, an interview with Flair. Some story about Vader maybe smuggling Flair in his limo has been going on, but who cares. Flair hypes Savage and the new signings, which is pretty cool, but I would much rather him talk shit. But I get a drunk Heenan "WHOOO!" as Flair makes his way down to his front row seat.

Avalanche and Big Bubba vs Sting and Randy Savage. Fuck yeah.

--Savage isn't coming out the electric guitar version of "Pomp and Circumstance." That had to have been a pretty brief thing. He and Sting are stupid over, as one would expect. This better be as fun as i hope.

--Not only is Flair in the audience, but so is Muta. I wouldn't have minded even a shitty Muta mixing it up with all these guys. He and Hogan had a fun match in Japan.

--Savage invites Flair into the ring, and I can't wait. Perfect natural enemies. But Flair is all retired. Now he's just slapping Avalanche around. Heenan is shouting "Spit on him!" This is all I wanted.

--Savage is going fucking HAM on everyone, like he's taking 1994 out on people. Flair fucking with him makes it better. This is the WCW I remember liking.

--Sting pins Avalanche despite Sting not being the legal man. Total sprint. Fun as fuck and I wish it went a little longer. Savage and Sting had some pretty okay chemistry.

Drunk Heenan is the only Heenan who works well with Tony. I was actually going to stop here because I'm burned out and walls of texts suck, but facepalming Tony while Heenan rants against Hogan is the epitome of everything.

Gene is with Hogan and Jimmy Hart. Hogan was a total pussy for ducking Vader the whole time. This should've been the Starrcade match. Hogan's promo is so dated and kinda grating.

WCW Title: Hulk Hogan vs Vader.

--No helmet? Vader, man, no. That stupid cape might be made out of jobber skin but you need the helmet.

--Hogan weighs in at 274. That's dangerously realistic. I've never heard him announced as below 300. Michael Buffer gonna get an earful.

--Hogan with an arm scissors. Oh man is this going to be vaguely Japan Hogan? That'd make all the difference. Vader's no sold everything. The fans really like Vader. He gets Hogan in the corner and beats his ass as only Vader can. Heenan: "He's going to hit him so hard he's going to grow hair!"

--Vader vs Brock is the best match I never got.

--Dude how did I miss the Harlem Heat and Meng cosplayers in the front row? Holy shit. That's what it's all about. Unlike Vader selling this Hogan bullshit, or Hogan seeming like he isn't sure how to sell for Vader at times. Vader working light (for Vader) is the opposite of what this needs.

--Hogan kicks out of the Vader Bomb. I don't mind that, just because he didn't Hulk Up. He dodged the moonsault, and rolled out of the ring. He's trying to do something different. Vader even took a Hogan chairshot like a champ. This is fun.

--Now we get the Hulk Up. Vader should crush his skull for this. The fans are now 100% behind Hogan. These guys are putting in work. Vader kicks out of the legdrop at ONE. Oh shit. Ref bump, Hogan gets powerbombed. Flair tries to wake him up, but shit goes down. Hogan wins by DQ, and I gotta say Flair getting the brunt of the Hulk Up and acting pissed is great.

--Sting and Savage in for the save. This was great. Zero slow spots, both made the other look like a threat, the Hogan shit was kept to a shocking minimum, and it builds to a rematch that while a foregone conclusion could be really fun. However as the kid who rented Bash At The Beach and saw their cage match, this is false hopes all over the place.

The good on this was good, the bad was horrific. WCW.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 20, 2019, 03:35:53 PM
I have fallen down two different sets of steps in three days. My knee is a mess, my hips are a joke, and there's various other things popping up as a result. So, hey, I figure I'll entertain myself somewhat with some professional wrestling shows on the award winning WWE Network.

The randomizer I used landed on WCW Starrcade 2000. Why wouldn't it?

I have almost no knowledge of the last gasp days of WCW. I think the last thing I ever remember of actively watching WCW was Booker T turning into the Rock, The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea, and Daffney. I want one of those things on the show more than others.

--------

Oh fuck, Mark Madden.This is going to suck no matter what. I miss Scott Hudson, though. I liked him.

Ladder Match: 3 Count vs Evan Karagias and Jamie Noble vs Jung Dragons. This is starting as a straight up threeway tag, some reason. They need Kimona Cam.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 20, 2019, 04:21:13 PM
--So the winner of this gets a contract for a title shot at Cruiserweight Champion Chavo, so, like...fine. Karagias is fucking TRASH. Poor Noble.

--This is so soulless. Maybe I'm just feeling cynical, but this feels every bit as transparent as the WWF Light Heavyweight division did. Way, way, way better workers, of course, but it just rings hollow. Evan and Shannon are going to botch themselves to death and it'll be funny, so there's that.

--Helms looks like a star. It's so weird how wrestling goes, you know? Shane Helms could've been a player in an alternate world.

--Kimona should be in the Hall of Fame.

--So there's five ladders set up for some elaborate spot that might not quite be worth it. There's no room to move in the ring, really, and it's just "climb up, kick dude off" over and over. Shannon skins the cat up the side of a ladder, though, which is kinda badass.

Helms and Moore win, Chavo complains because there can't be two winners. What a stupid way to do things. But, like, WCW.

In the back, Lance Storm gives Duggan shit. I don't know what is happening. Next thing I know, it's Jarrett and Mike Sanders and a Harris. But THAT leads to Kronik in a sauna I assume they have hotboxed, so it's only slightly less gay.

Team Canada, in the form of Lance Storm, Major Guns, and Elix Skipper, comes out. Lance Storm was such a beacon of hope at the time. I do remember that. His rocket push was just an unfair tease. Now the Cat comes out, with Ms. Jones, and rants about Canada and then the Cat dances. Where'd Ms. Jones go?

The Cat vs Lance Storm.

--Kinda cool seeing the Cat with personality. But honestly, Mark Madden is a cancer on this show already. Tony and Scott, they're fine, but Madden is a black hole like no other. If Madden and Mauro called a show, the arena would just look like those aerial shots of Jonestown.

--Stalling, annoyance. The Cat sucks but is fun, Storm rules but isn't fun. The girls fought briefly. Ref bump. What a dark arena. Oh, hey, Duggan is coming out. Who will he turn on? The Cat, but didn't go FULL heel because he clotheslined him and didn't hit him with the board. Now Team Canada turns on Duggan. And the Cat saves Duggan.

This is one of these shows, isn't it? I'm going to fucking hate this.

Mike Awesome drives an ambulance to the arena for his match with Bigelow. Oh. Then cut to Buff interviewing the Filthy Animals. What the hell is going on? Now the Natural Born Thrillers are giving Reno and Big Vito (and a woman I don't recognize) shit. And NOW Crowbar is arguing with Daffney on his way to the hardcore title match...which I guess is now because Terry Funk comes out of nowhere with a fire extinguisher. Oh, I'm going to fucking hate this show.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs Terry Funk

--I was literally ready to wrap up writing about this for the night but I got outpaced. What the fuck is this show? I mean maybe I'm remembering my 1999 WWF wrong, but I don't remember it ever being this rapid fire. This is a parody of a 90s wrestling company.

--Fuck Crowbar. Daffney deserved better. But honestly she can shut up, because she can hit this note that sounds like the battery in my smoke alarm is about to die. All with the lovely voice of Mark Madden covering it all.

--Funk has Crowbar handcuffed and hits him in the head with stuff. It's been done. I can't even appreciate that it's a random detached car door. But some nice unprotected chairshots, back when men were fucking men. The camera either needs to stay on Daff or shut off.

--Funk goes after Daffney like an asshole and Crowbar hits him in the back, like an asshole. Crowbar is the least intimidating hardcore dude there ever was. It was the kneepads over the jeans, man. But Devon Storm being an anti-vax piece of shit might also cloud my opinion. It might be because he's getting his brains bashed in with these chairshots.

--Funk wins, and thank god because that was horrible. Terry isn't selling as much as he looks inconvenienced.

It cut to Gene with Team Canada but I'm stopping because I can't do this right now. I got thrown too far into the deep end.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 21, 2019, 12:32:27 AM
If it's any consolation, the last 3 PPVs are actually very solid where even the garbage stuff at least has entertaining personalities involved. It's why Johnny Ace got a job in New York since he booked the final days.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 21, 2019, 01:35:38 PM
Team Canada is with Gene. Duggan is an American and they're bad. Gene's so timeless. As I say that he pretty much straight up tells Major Guns to leave or he'll fuck her, but for some reason it coming from Mean Gene isn't quite AS terrible. He always got portrayed as a lech, now he's just an older, much more direct lech. I want to stress as well that Tylene Buck is gross. Looked her up to back this up, and I feel proven right. Because the top tweet as of now made me laugh, here is her very not work safe Twitter: https://twitter.com/thetylenebuck?lang=en (https://twitter.com/thetylenebuck?lang=en)

Now we whipash to Luger unpacking his bag and talking to himself in the mirror as he puts on brass knux. I get that they're going for the WWF invisible cameraman thing, but they're doing it hilariously wrong, and doing a fucked dumb thing wrong is the legacy of WCW.

Big Vito and Reno come out with Marie. Fuck is Marie? She's got something going for her. Hey. Anyway now it's

Big Vito and Reno vs Kronik. So Adams botches his, like, one line promo to imply Marie paid them to beat up Reno and Vito. I don't know what's happening.

--Kronik were an awesome team that happened years too late. Crush and Adam Bomb being the omg new demolition would've made me so happy as a kid. I like both guys a lot, despite knowing no one else does, but Kronik suck. 84% chance that's because they're both named Brian/Bryan and using their real names and not cool names.

--Vito's the best guy out there, and is doing his very best, but Kronik look so sloppy (Adams in particular). They're moving almost way too fast for Vito to keep up with, which I can't believe I said. All I know about Reno is seeing him and Vito hit each other with shit every time I channel surfed passed Thunder.

--The Thrillers are out, and Reno's all emotional. They can do so much better. Kwee Wee, motherfuckers. But nah, the obvious turn on on Vito happens and...Reno pins him to win the match...or something? Reno was the one who paid them off to take out Vito! "Why Reno?!" says Hudson. I'm watching this WAY out of context, and am okay with it.

Marie's rack was nice. ****
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 21, 2019, 02:00:54 PM
Gene is with 3 Count, Helms and Moore. Who gets Chavo? Helms' shitty promo is interrupted by Chavo's shitty promo. Chavo then just beats the shit out of them. Chavo shouldn't beat the shit out of anyone.

Now to Buff with the MIA. Oh god General Rection, right. Pastor LeRoux is mean muggin' the camera hard. So, right, DeMott hates Shane Douglas. There's a choice. Shane's at least got the evil horse-laugh and Deep Purple. DeMott is a hero of Corey Graves. Who'd he ever beat?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs Mike Awesome. Ambulance Match. The Roku says it's been an hour and eight minutes.

--Bigelow looks like he's about to drop dead. ECW might've let him live longer. Awesome, though? That '70s Guy. I thought that shit was long over by now and he was just generic Mike Awesome, heading for Team Canada. I will say he does look good with the feathered hair. Old school heel shit.

--I thought I invented the ambulance match when I was a kid with my action figures, then it turned out it was real my matches between Wolverine and the Joker were always better.

--For real Bigelow is wearing a shirt over his shirt. Awesome just doesn't care. These are the matches that break my heart, to an extent, and they happened a lot in WCW: two years earlier, this is at least a *** brawl before the entrances are done. ECW Awesome vs ECW Bigelow would've been a war. WCW Bigelow vs WCW Awesome kinda run into things for, like, $7k a punch.

--I promise I'll stop harping on it but if Bigelow is too fat for his outfit, he should go away for a while. Not, you know, as long as its been, but somewhere. It just looks Awesome is beating up just some fat dude from the bar furthest away.

--The finish is literally fat fuck Bigelow falling through the roof of the ambulance. Awesome barely broke a sweat. I mean, yeah, it isn't Rikishi getting thrown off the Cell into the back of a truck, but that's the way of things.

Thrillers are in the back with Gene. Look at all these missed opportunities. Perfect Event cut a fucking awful promo on DDP and Nash. You have Mike Sanders there deliberately to not let things like this happen. They fuck with Gene a little as they leave, and toughguy Okerlund starts talking about how he was going to beat one guy's ass. Look, uber-lech Gene I can make a little sense of, silly though it is. Shit-talker Gene is just out of character.

Fucking hate this show, you guys.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 21, 2019, 02:19:22 PM
US Title: General Hugh G. MorrMott vs Shane Douglas. Wait no Torrie? Fuck off. You gotta give me something.

--DeMott has always been a super solid big man, so that's alright, but Douglas was deteriorating by the hour.

--To the announce table, where Scott Hudson is clearly the designated driver. Madden is in the back, in a Hawaiian shirt, eating a small child.

--Prolonged bearhug spots. The three old guys on the hard camera are nonplussed as they should be.

--I forgot Mark Madden based his entire commentary style on Mallrats. Fucking Christ.

--Scott and Tony are battling over who the head announcer is, which winds up giving Madden more shit to respond to. I'm just going to take in the brief period in WCW history where the announcers talked about the match that was actually happening.

--Shane's bleeding, which has aged him ten years.Stuff happens. Now fucking Chavo is out again, tosses a chain to Shane, then tells the ref Shane has a chain, so Shane beats the fuck out of DeMott anyway. Then he hits Chavo. Were people THAT invested in MIA or Douglas or any of this?

This must've been what it was like for a relative or grandparent to walk in when I was watching Raw and have no idea what was happening, and me being embarrassed as only a real fan can.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 21, 2019, 02:51:57 PM
Gene's got SCOTT STEINER and Midajah. I can't understand a goddamn thing that he's saying, but it's about Sid and Flair's name came up. Steiner vs Sid is fucking my shit though.

BLOOD RUNS COLDER...AGAIN. Get the fuck outta here. This was real? I thought it was some stupid IWC meme from the before time in the long long ago. Of all the sheer panic moves, you pick Glacier? Alright, I feel a little better now.

Buff is with the Insiders, DDP and Nash. They call the Thrillers jagoffs, and cut a promo way too shitty for those involved. But man they look old compared to pretty much not Terry Funk.

Jeff Jarrett (w/SLAPNUTS headband) comes out to shit talk the Filthy Animals. Tell em, Jeff. Tell those DC Slapasses where the power lies. So this is a bunkhouse streetfight...

Okay so, wait. I never got the term "bunkhouse" for brawls, and still don't. Fighting to get in? Out? Either way, why? But whatever, it's a Dusty thing. But the notion of a bunkhouse streetfight is actually making me much angrier than it should. And it's literally just a fake barfight set up, like APA style.

Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Boys vs Filthy Animals.

--I think they're playing off some racial stereotype where white people are not sure how to deal with those wild wacky Mexican weapons and that those goofy Mexicans can't fight with those weird Southern good ol' boy weapons. And it takes Mark Madden, of ALL PEOPLE, of ask how you win this match.

--Is it Mexico or the bumpkins who specialize in kendo sticks?

--I didn't catch the woman's name who's with the Animals, but she's on commentary and is better than Mark Madden, and her output is more or less "AWW YEAH! OW OW!" That god Starrcade hadn't meant anything in like six years by this point.

--Maskless Rey just isn't half as fun. You suddenly realize how punchable that little dude is. Must've hurt the Harris Boys, selling for Mexicans and a Jew.

--Anyway, Rey's dead in a dumpster. Now the ref is trying to enforce tags. WHAT the fuck is this match? "I guess when you break all these gimmicks it's what you do!" Tony, stop.

--This is just a regular match now. No reason given beyond Tony trying to sound clever. Sleepers and hot tags don't belong in a streetbunk brawlfight. And Rey is still fucking dead in a dumpster!

--Nashville World Order? Oh goddamn it.

--But now we're street fighting again, and Rey goes through a table after being dead. Kidman hits an Unprettier, then takes a liquor bottle to the head. Stroke, three count. What in Christfuck was any of this?

I'm actually mad now. This was fucking horrible.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 21, 2019, 03:34:44 PM
WCW Sin, next month. Eat a dick.

Buff is with Sarge, who wants Goldberg to beat Lex. Then Lex attacks him. What the hell. Fuck Sarge.

Scott looks kind of annoyed, Tony looks like he is SO embarrassed to be there, and Mark Madden looks like a pile of cottage cheese with Down's syndrome.

Tag Titles: The Insiders vs Perfect Event. I so don't care.

--Palumbo and Stasiak are the two worst guys. Jindrak and O'Haire, those were the guys.

--Ric Flair is out, also looking like he hates it. If Sanders does anything, they lose the titles. I mean, Flair vs Sanders would've made this show kinda better, so why not just do that? Or something.

--Between DDP, Nash, and Flair showing their faces, the audience is actually really woken up. It's just a shame it's a match with Meat on a show that has gone far too long. 39 minutes left. Oh god Lex/Goldberg and Sid/Steiner will get time.

--The young guys are game, but only Palumbo is any good. DDP is doing the exact same things DDP always does. Nash pretending to be a hot-tag-in-waiting. Tony calls it "human drama." Oh you just go fuck yourself.

--All kinds of overbooking happens with the Thrillers and DDP Diamond Cutting people on the outside. Jackknife on Palumbo, old guys win. That was atrocious. Palumbo takes a good Jackknife, though.

--

The forced streak thing with Goldberg is every bit as stupid as it is accidentally compelling. This is me saying this as someone who isn't going to delve deeper than the storyline itself for my own already hurting brain. The idea that not only does the whole roster know Goldberg is fallible, but there's a whole group of young and hungry guys who have watched Goldberg while training (under Goldberg's very trainer) and could maybe find all his flaws, forcing Goldberg to change his style to save his career...I mean that's what I'd have done. It's no Lex Luger.

And Michael Buffer is here. Ugh.

Luger looks awful. His mobility is gone and he has roided wrassler jowls happening.

I'm stopping after this is over and doing Steiner/Sid by itself.

Lex Luger vs Goldberg. The more Goldberg I watch, or the more years I watch him, I think that him having a security team makes this supposed badass look like a total pussy. Dude breathes fire but needs Doug Dillenger and other dudes? I bet. I fucking bet.

--Goldberg slams Luger into everything outside the ring. Please spear.

--Short clotheslines. Please spear.

--I wish Goldberg let himself become the fucking awesome power wrestler he could've been, not just the pretty cool power wrestler he was when he felt like it.

--And because god fucking forbid a real match happen, Buff and Sarge are on their way out. Weren't they Battlebowl opponents? Who cares.

--I can't tell if Buff turned on Goldberg or Luger turned on Buff. Sarge is off dead until it's convenient. The fans are still hot for Goldberg. WCW.

--Spear, Jackhammer, over. Buff cracks Goldberg with a chair, poses, and carries Lex out. I won't lie, Buff's been a highlight.


I'm done for now. What the fuck, man.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on February 22, 2019, 12:37:43 AM
I know it sounds stupid but Glacier's return in 2001 was awesome. He was basically a delusional cartoon super hero. It played perfectly into the evolution of the character at a time when wrestling pretty much phased those types of characters out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSVjGRmbbNw
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on February 22, 2019, 03:37:31 AM
Seconding Epic on this. That brief 2001 run is what gave him some cred when Chikara brought him in.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Fan of Sports with Integrity on February 22, 2019, 09:18:53 AM
Misawa is so overrated it hurts

Luger had a better running forearm, that's for sure.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 22, 2019, 02:03:39 PM
Delusional Glacier is perfect. That's way more like it.

Luger's forearm was pretty nice.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 22, 2019, 02:22:53 PM
I'm going to finish this and find something else because I'm SO in for Sid/Steiner right now.

Why weren't Booker or Sting on this show?

Tony's reciting past main events for Starrcade and he sounds sadder and sadder as it leads to Sid entering the ring. There really is no bigger departure from Flair vs Race to Sid vs Poppa Pump. Midajah is here! I only remember her from those early IWC days when every site had a Babe Of The Day.

WCW Title: Scott Steiner vs Sid.

--Scott Steiner looks pretty much exactly the same, just faster and without that fucking stupid chest piece. Sid doesn't look too bad, either, surprisingly. But they're moving fast and Steiner's a great heel.

--They do some test of strength shit, then Midajah hits Sid with a pipe. Steiner tells random fans "Fuck you!" This is meeting every expectation and is a total relief. I'm really digging Sid in the long tights, for some reason.

--Recliner, rope break. Sid's not a good face in peril guy, but at least Steiner can just throw him around like he's nothing. And for some reason Midajah just climbs the ropes during the Recliner, causing Steiner to break the hold, so she can accidentally crossbody him. What the fuck was that?

--Ref bump. Pipe shots. Now Jarrett is out and accidentally hits Steiner with the guitar in front of the replacement ref Lil Naitch, who counts anyway. Well all that goodwill just went away, didn't it? Recliner, Sid's out, Steiner wins. End of show.

I don't know anymore. I flew much too close to the sun on this one.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 22, 2019, 02:37:54 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TflX_LRpq4

I needed to just watch Shamrock take out jobber entrance-era Vader in a nothing match. Shane McMahon was a better color guy than Madden.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: God King Emperor Kamala on February 23, 2019, 02:00:24 PM
Why weren't Booker or Sting on this show?
Both guys were selling kayfabe injuries from Scott Steiner. Booker T suffered it in main event for Mayhem previous month, Sting on some rando Thunder a week or two before Mayhem '00.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 24, 2019, 03:26:58 AM
I don't even remember them getting mentioned on the show. Double ripoff. The running trend of dudes just vanishing from a lot of these WCW shows is pretty funny, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: God King Emperor Kamala on February 24, 2019, 09:37:32 AM
Long term storytelling they were going for in late '00/early '01 was Scott Steiner and Totally Buff running all of the major babyfaces off of TV but WCW went out of business before the faces could get their revenge. That encapsulates WCW really, doesn't it?"
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 25, 2019, 05:15:38 AM
So what you're saying is Jason Jett truly was the #2 or 3 face during the dying days and could've gotten the title shot he deserved.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: God King Emperor Kamala on February 25, 2019, 08:21:00 AM
Yeah, after the last WCW PPV (but before the last Nitro), he probably legit was the #3 or #4 babyface. Booker T was #1 but after that it gets cloudy as to who even #2 was? Super washed Dustin Rhodes (who somehow got awesome and unwashed a decade and a half later)? Sean O'Haire? Jason Jett being a Top 3 babyface in March 2001 WCW might not be that much of a joke.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 25, 2019, 02:45:02 PM
The feet of snow is now feet of slush, until it snows again in the very near future (if it isn't now). My knee is wrecked, life sucks, and the best I can do is offer myself at least a little respite through here. I gotta diversify. At any rate, the randomizer thing landed on

WWE Unforgiven 2002

I know I got this show live but only remember Angle vs Benoit, lesbians, and RVD losing. I can already feel the 2002 stank.

------------------------

The opening video is SO WCW. It establishes the big gold belt still having all the lineage, even if it was the HHH vanity plate for at least another...three years? Video has a lot of old NWA and WCW footage, and it seriously feels like something they'd do.

Oh shit, is this the Brock/Taker "I'm not feeling it" show? Nice. I feel like time proved Taker right, personally.

The set is just scaffolds. That's mostly it. But holy shit all the signs in the crowd and big reactions and all kinds of shit.

Also apologies for my format always sucking, if that matters. Informal but legible is hard, man.

1.) The Un-Americans vs BookDust/Bubba Ray Dudley/Kane: Oh shit, son.

--This is when Kane was in the best shape of his life. Looked lean as FUCK, moved faster than ever, and basically was a red Mortis. This guy, he'd have drawn, when was doing that "We're all freaks! Be proud!" thing.

--Bubba and Goldust did stereo bionic elbow spots and it was fucking cool. Bubba's all ready for that aborted singles run, but he's really over. All the faces are. This is an actual hot LA crowd. Let's get Test in there right now. Oh shit they did, haha.

--"Test has got unlimited potential, but we've said that on a number of occasions!" Jesus, JR. I hated it when he did that to guys.

--Lance Storm and Christian were a missed shot and I only even say that because I totally forgot they were a team, let alone champions. They seem like they'd be PERFECT, at least on paper. Canadian Brain Busters. Jericho needed Horsemen.

--Regal's wrestling in a shirt, tucked into his trunks, which is both proper as well as hiding whatever floppy bits are presenting themselves. He doesn't look good. When did he get that parasite?

--This got clusterfucky and awesome real fast. Kane looked fucking incredible, I can't stress that enough. Seeing this Kane is like seeing a completely different person. Then he became a necrophiliac and I stopped watching with any regularity.

Roku says it's been 17 minutes?! Holy shit that flew by.

Steph is motivating Billy and Chuck for their match against 3 Minute Warning, where if the fake gay dudes lose Stephanie has to make out with lesbians. What a unique time all this was. I wonder what the people who bought those HLA shirts are doing now.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 25, 2019, 03:17:22 PM
2.) WWE Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs Ric Flair.

--Flair beat Jericho clean at the Summerslam with the figure four but fuck all that, we got the 1992 Flair music. Score.

--This Ric Flair is unrecognizable to who he'd be even a year later. He looks great here, to tell you the truth. Jericho, meanwhile, looks like he was having so much fun that I should go back in time to remind him he was berrried.

--Flair's not exactly setting the world on fire, but he's still looking really good. Zero business being an actual member of the roster, yes, but he's busting his ass.

--Jericho fakes an injury, ref calls for the trainer, and Jericho makes him tap to the Walls. I'm fine with that. Jericho's character post-dog walker was just insecure but arrogant scum, and cheating to beat old ass Flair just seems right in that sense.

Bischoff is with 3 Minute Warning. RIP. Rico, to Bischoff: "Just sit back, grab some vaseline, and watch Stephanie perform some Hot. Lesbian. Action!" Regret. Instant regret.

Shaq's here with his kid. Man, Shaq should go to AEW.

Anyway, to Smackdown.

3.) Edge vs Eddie Guerrero:

--Juuust before the Smackdown Six. We cut Flair's music but keep that shitty Rob Zombie one for Edge. Kinda dicks, there.

--Ohhhh yeah, it's a Summerslam rematch. I remember now. Eddie worked Edge's arm the whole time and Edge just kinda forgot about it in visibly annoying fashion by the end. Eddie was all about the dismantling dudes once he came back.

--Oddly these are the guys who slow it all down, but also have the fans seriously invested. It's like they're good at wrestling.

--This is a really good little match. Great crowd work. Lotta back and forth, lotta great near falls. Shame these guys never got a shot at the top of the card a couple years later. Rated R Edge vs Eddie would've been something special.

--Eddie wins with a sunset flip powerbomb thing that probably has a cool name off the top rope, with the help of the exposed turnbuckle. So not only did these guys actually build up a match, they made everything make sense, and didn't rely on multiple finishers or pretty much any of the shit that drives me up the wall now. Eddie even won without his finisher. To think, we'd be on Frog Splash #4 if this happened now.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 25, 2019, 03:37:48 PM
HHH barges into the locker room to tell RVD he's got no passion and no desire and isn't a champion. Ha. Points out Flair used to have passion, but now he's old and it's sad but appropriate they're hanging out. Pffff.

So recap for 3MW/Billy and Chuck, where they ruin the fake gay wedding and beat up Steph. Now Bisch is calling a group of female protesters lesbians, but Steph is in disguise! Billy and Chuck come out to kill him! What the hell was happening in 2002? I was there, I watched it, but I can't believe this was an actual thing.

Billy and Chuck vs 3 Minute Warning:

--Cole keeps calling Rico a turncoat like we're supposed to actually give a shit. What an asset to the careers of Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo. I'm sure he had some bad to middling matches.

--"Both guys are from the 'hood,' so to speak. Sunnyvale, CA!" Cole reading off old school Vince lines was better. I'd have gone with, like, Palo Alto or maybe Stockton or something, but Sunnyvale is keeping it real.

--Fans chant "Rico's Gay!" which just makes it look like no one was watching the shows at the time. But then this match is fucking stupid. Billy and Chuck had been strangling the life out of the tag division all year, despite being horrible, and you're expecting people to root for them against two big fucking Samoan guys who have literally destroyed everything they've come into contact with. Further, if Billy and Chuck lose, Steph is supposed to make out with some hot chick. Now, I mean, I'm sorry but I can promise you I know where my heart was in 2002. 3MW win, of course, because COME ON.

Eric Bischoff is cackling with glee, next to three strippers (I'd say lined up right to left in terns of attractiveness). This isn't even funny anymore. I mean it never was actually, ha-ha funny, but there was at least a little bit of amusement as a time piece. But now it seems like you need to watch like 17(!) years after to find the joke moderately funny. It's like WCW is Fast Times At Ridgmont High, and WWE's 2002-2003 is The Wild Life.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on February 26, 2019, 01:07:25 AM
Rico was actually a pretty decent worker. He was never main event tier or anything but he was solid and could get heat instantly. He just came by a few years too late. I remember having my mind blown when I read that he was already 40 when he joined the main roster. The match he had with pre-Yes Daniel Bryan remains one of my favorite Sunday Night Heat matches to this day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkkRxEYe18c
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 26, 2019, 04:05:24 AM
I followed Rico's stuff in OVW and never got it. He just didn't have whatever he was supposed to have, and the Billy and Chuck thing plus the Raw jump killed him. But he was certainly a Tom Brandi-level guy.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Spaceman Spiff 🚀 on February 26, 2019, 04:28:50 AM
I will not sit still and let you disparage Chuck Palumbo!  I mean, I need to sit still to read your thread, but the point remains.  Chuck Palumbo was p. awesome.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 26, 2019, 05:42:23 AM
Palumbo deserved way better than he got. Dude was the New Total Package for like a month and a half, if I remember. But for real, Billy and Chuck tainted him a lot for me.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 26, 2019, 12:31:30 PM
I turn this back on to have the strippers (and Lawler, of course) chanting "HLA!" I know the jokes make themselves, but Lawler perving on Steph feels especially gross.

Video for HHH/RVD. "Grrr I spit water! Grr I'm Mr. Muscle And Fitness!" RVD is always going to be a favorite, even though they just showed how his push got killed for four years.

5.) World Heavyweight Title: HHH vs RVD.

--RVD was so hot for so long that it's a total miracle of modern burial he didn't get the title until 2006, and even then the idiot ruined it. Fans are behind him, of course.

--HHH looks small compared to even now. It might be an optical illusion or something, like not having the beard or it not being in HD, but he looks so much smaller than he'd be. I'm also going into this with what might be unjust HHH standards in mind. As I say that RVD literally spits water and grunts, and the fans go crazy. I haven't this since it happened but man, I'm surprised Hunter stood for that.

--RVD goes for a somersault plancha to the outside, but HHH just straight moves and RVD fucking eats it. Jesus.

--Hunter's already breathing heavy, although I'm liking how he's working the match. Slows RVD down, frequent pin attempts, not wasting any moment he's got. Good stuff. I think this would get a pretty okay reception today, especially compared to lazy awful HHH the next year would bring.

--RVD, meanwhile, is quietly doing a really good job at making himself look good. I mean, no one expected him to win. Right? I didn't. But he's doing his best to make himself look like a main event player, limited as he might be, but he's trying to live up to being one of the only top guys Raw had.

--So Hebner gets bumped and nothing matters until the screwjob. Except that guy with the Blue Pepsi Sucks sign. I can't remember if he was right or not. This match died fucking HARD when Hebner went down. Crowd stopped giving any sort of shit. Flair comes out, turns on RVD, and Evolution is born. I cannot express enough how young Flair looks, at least in Flair years. He looks better here than he did at Starrcade 2000.

D-Lo and Kidman are all watching upset when Eric Braeden from The Young And The Restless shows up out of nowhere and then goes off to bang Dawn Marie. What an odd segment.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 26, 2019, 12:53:28 PM
6.) Women's Title: Molly Holly vs Trish Stratus.

--Bitchy dark haired Molly is the best version. But for real, she looks exactly the same as she does now. Thank god they're burying her with the "lol virgin" story, though. 2002 fucking blows sometimes.

--These two had a match at King of the Ring that was, for a long time, my favorite women's match since the division came back. Trish got so good so fast. It's legit angering me seeing how the women were booked then vs how they're booked now, by the way. Lawler is wrecking this match, and JR isn't helping.

--Trish wins with a bulldog. Another fast paced, fun match. Not the best either of them have ever had, but they were totally handicapped by the times treating them and the division like a fucking joke. I sincerely forget how bad Lawler could get, and it isn't even peak Lawler time yet.

Coach comes out, and Trish gives a very genuine and emotional little promo about how much it all means to her. That was pretty cool. I was expecting Jazz or someone to come out and murder her, but it didn't happen.

Meanwhile, in Bischoff's office, there's skanky ladies everywhere. Rico, 3 Minute Warning, and Bisch have these ladies hanging off them. I don't even know what to say beyond wishing Jamal was Umaga and making it wacky. Eric pulls two of them aside for the HLA segment, and now Michael Cole and Taz explain the story. Taz questions Cole's manhood for not being into it and actually looks down to see if he has a dick. I bought this show in 2002. I paid my allowance for this. Could've gotten records, could've gotten movies, could've done all sorts of things. Why did I get this?

I got it for Angle/Benoit. Hindsight all over says I should've just got weed or something. The hype video is pretty much both of them laughing at the other for getting stinkfaced.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 26, 2019, 01:14:42 PM
7.) Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit.

--Look at fucking human Kurt Angle. Dude's a Lego Man now. This is actually the first time I've really felt uncomfortable watching Benoit in a long time, though. I paid specifically to watch the guy and that's fucking with me a little bit.

--I can't deny the chemistry, though. I have zero investment, but fucking hell were they good together. The fans are into everything they do.

--Two of the best in the world, and arguably of all time, feuding over being stuck in Rikishi's ass. That's the most WWE thing ever. It's no Japanese shampoo commercial, though. Banner year, 2002.

--Rolling German fight. Angle takes it on his neck and upper back, Benoit takes it on his neck and head. Yuck. This match is fucking awesome, don't get me wrong, but damn, man.

--That flying headbutt is the worst thing to see. I'll joke about chairshots and all the straight up fucking stupid things people did (and do), but that headbutt is the ultimate symbol to me of just so many dark things.

--Benoit cheats to win. Like I said, this was fucking awesome and no matter how you feel about it, it's a lost classic. I usually am not one who has a level of problem with watching Benoit, necessarily (although there are things i just refuse to watch), but this time right now it felt really gross.

Speaking of gross, Mark Lloyd is with Brock and Heyman. This is just a lower tempo version of everything today. Brock's voice is way higher, which is pretty funny. And that old Undisputed belt was beautiful.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on February 26, 2019, 01:29:23 PM
I'm just going to finish this HLA bullshit.

"Please welcome, accompanied by THE LESBIANS, Eric Bischoff!" Oh, Fink, no.

Is that future Miller Lite Catfight Girl Kitana Baker? Doesn't matter, the Lesbians are named Peaches and Cream. Fuck off. This is the most embarrassed I think I've been as a wrestling fan, at least retroactively. Fucking Christ. However I will admit Stephanie looks really, really good here.

Bisch wants to humiliate Steph by finding the "biggest, ugliest lesbo I could find!" Jesus, you guys literally just pissed GLAAD off like two weeks ago.

The big joke is, of course, that it's Rikishi in blackface. What the FUCK is this? This is top ten bad. Like on every fucking level, this is hideous.

Fuck.I need a break now.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 02, 2019, 02:30:55 PM
Alright.

So the lesbian shit happens, and Taz and Cole fist-bump.

The video package for Brock vs Taker shows how they changed over a decade. Taker went from being a zombie to a biker, Brock just mutated into Brock. Ohhh this is when he fucked with Sara Undertaker when she was pregnant. Badass.

8.) WWE Title: Brock Lesnar vs the Undertaker.

--Brock is not over. He's legit, but not over. I'm shocked at how little the crowd doesn't care about him. Fuck. Taker looked broken down then.

--But the crowd loves Taker. He's Taker. They do some okay power stuff, but then it hits that WWE wall where cool power stuff leads to fighting in the corner and it slows down.

--The bandana comes off, and Taker ages five years. That Hogan thing. Taker's trying harder than he got credit for at the time. Maybe thats almost 20 years of these dudes fighting each other talking, though.

--They're working real basic, though. Punchin' and kickin' and just not all pretty. I keep waiting for Brock to actually hit a German suplex, but maybe Angle being around and Benoit being alive kept him from doing that.

--Heyman distracts the ref, Brock gets a beltshot on the outside. Taker's bleeding. I will say that during this era, when actual burials and blading were commonplace, that I never got why guys like HHH would bleed when he'd bury people.

--Ref bump. Matt Hardy(?!) runs in and gets a Last Ride, and we get a near fall. What the fuck was that? That feud would've been really fun at the time. Taker feuded with the FBI for a while, least he can do is dignify Mattitude. But, yeah, ref's down. Heyman tosses Brock a chair. Boot from Taker. Gettin' fucky.

--Taker fucking DESTROYS Brock with an unprotected chairshot. Jesus Christ, dude. Then he does it again because it's 2002 and fuck your brains. They replay the shots and fuck. Taker throw's Brock's bleeding corpse in the ring and just beats the shit out of him when he could just pin the fucking guy, but he doesn't. That's the shit I hate. But he just can't keep the rookie down. Brock's over now.

--Some DQ happens because Brian Hebner is a pussy. Fight goes on, however. The fans chant "Bullshit." These dudes have called each other motherfuckers at least ten times in as many seconds. Taker throws Brock through the shitty set, which is what I only remembered about this match, to be honest. It looked way better in my memory. It's like American Pie 2.

Show has more crust on it than the corner of an unkempt old man's mouth, but that old man was Jack Palance.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 02, 2019, 02:54:17 PM
It's still amazing that, later, those two would have one of the best, and arguably the most vicious, HIAC matches ever.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 02, 2019, 03:29:10 PM
The randomizer thing has landed on ECW Guilty As Charged 2001. Now this will be interesting. I'll at least start it.

Opening video makes me really miss ECW. You know what else I miss? The fucking ECW theme which is dubbed out with some generic ill-fitting bullshit. Opposite of pumped.

Joey Styles and Joel Gertner are out to open the show. Gertner does his thing, and man, I forgot how fucking ugly that dude was. But he eventually introduces the hot new tag team, Christian York and Joey Matthews, who promptly get jumped by Da Baldies. Well. Then they take out Gertner. ECW! ECW! ECW! Now Cyrus is on his way out. Oh god no. I don't even know if this is a match yet. Cyrus had some GORGEOUS hair, though. Like wo.

Now Jerry Lynn is here, and tags in Cyrus, who pins Matthews. What the fuck was that? Cyrus gives the Baldies cigars. Matthews bladed for no reason and it looks pretty gory.

So now it's Jerry Lynn promo time. Oh lord. Lynn's all "I'm the whole fucking show!" and is refuses to wrestle in ECW again unless it's the main event. We get the Jerry Lynn Metal Voice, and that's all well and good, but this is all WCW-tier shit with blood and people cursing. This took fifteen minutes.

NOW the opening starts, with the theme. What was the other theme then? This is going to be a show and a half.

1.) ECW Tag Title: Doring and Roadkill vs Julio Dinero and EZ Money.

--Oh man Dinero looks like such a fucking GOOB. When Danny Doring looks like a bigger star, you suck. EZ Money comes in, and he's in these bright neon yellow see through tights that look like he's wearing a garter belt. What a bad luck year for that dude, opening for the last ECW PPV and the last WCW PPV. At least he was the third biggest face in WCW.

--Matthews bled EVERYWHERE and it looks disgusting. The outside mats are covered and these dudes are just going like there's no problem with it. Speaking of disgusting, Elektra is at ringside. So's Chris Hamrick, looking like peak-era Jackie the Jokeman.

--This suuuucks. Money's the best worker out there, but looks like a complete idiot. Doring is a job guy. Dinero is embarrassing. Roadkill is actually over, and thank god because the hot tag to finish just happened.

--I'll say this a lot too, but fuck Joey Styles and Cyrus.

So the heels all beat down Doring and Roadkill. Then some more dubbed music happens and Nova is out for the save. Nova was dope. He has the vibe to him. But then like

2.) Nova vs Chris Hamrick.

--Cyrus calls them "highspot guys." That just bugs me, but I couldn't tell you why.

--I need to mention too that the camera work is low-budget Kevin Dunn shaky-cam in the worst possible way. It's real sloppy. You know what else is sloppy? The GIANT bloodstain Joey Matthews left in the ring.

--A top-rope rana gets a holy shit chant. Times have changed. This isn't a bad match at all, by the way. Nova's over as FUCK, Hamrick's game, and it's the opposite of the first 20ish minutes. Nova then kicks Electra in the arm, and then Hamrick gets the pin when Chris Chetti (now a ref, says Joey) does the evil ref thing. Now Sign Guy Dudley is Lou E. Dangerously and hits the other ref with a phone. STOP.

--And now Spike Dudley is out. I swear to god if this leads to Spike vs Chetti or Lou E. or Hamrick or anyone, I'm out. Spike hits the Acid Drop, Nova hits a swanton, probably another couple things happen, and then Spike counts the fall.

-----

I'm stopping now before something else that just doesn't work for a variety of reasons happens, and will get back to it later. This is some death-rattle booking. Heyman didn't care whatsoever.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 03, 2019, 03:42:02 AM
IIRC, the first opener is set to RATM's "Renegades of Funk" cover, or maybe that's the final closing video. Either way, it was clear Heyman knew this was the end, and this show is as close to a "Greatest Hits" as ECW could do at the time.

In hindsight, the funniest thing is...
Spoiler: show
The Network won. The whole angle was that they were looking to not just cancel ECW on TNN, but also to kill ECW. Who walked away with all the singles gold? Rhino. Of the Network.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2019, 07:14:08 AM
I hate that I missed so much ECW at the time. I knew most of what was going on at the time, but somewhere between the return of Raven and the rise of Rhino I tuned out. I blame Friday nights on TNN and by association ROOOOLLLLLERRRRJAMMMM.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2019, 09:15:16 AM
Got bailed on for lunch. That "I'll be there in an hour, no two hours, no I can't make it" thing. It's 26 degrees with mountains of snow, and I've fallen on the bad knee three times in the last two weeks alone, so I think I can cope with a heated apartment and a wrestling show. But still, very gouache.

-------

Steve Corino cuts a promo. You can clearly see a lotta where Kevin Owens got much of his inflection and style. I LOVED Corino for a long time, those post-ECW years. A lot of the ECW guys carried a level of mystique, as someone who lost what minimal touch I had with them, especially towards the end when the biggest names had left.

3.) CW Anderson vs Tommy Dreamer.

--We cut right to the ring introductions, and that puddle of Matthews blood is still on the mat, and on the concrete outside. No one has touched it unless some dude bumps on it.

--Tommy f'n Dreamer hits a slingshot cross-body from the apron into the ring. Spry bowling pin, that Dreamer. I'm a total mark for Tommy Dreamer. He just has something, even now, that makes it hard for me not to root for the guy.

--I guess this is an I Quit match. Now I'm really interested.

--CW Anderson is kind of a throwback to the guys who'd probably be a top ECW guy in the early days. He's like a Tommy Cairo, but always solid and with one of the dumbest hand signs of all time. As I say that Dreamer fucks his arm up with a chair, into a chair, on the ringpost. That's the most Dreamer spot there is. But as I say THAT, Dreamer puts the ring bell on his head and rings it. Innovator Of Violence.

--Now both guys are bleeding everywhere, and CW goes for an Indian Deathlock like a goddamn boss. What was his kayfabe relation to the Andersons? Dreamer does his "it's not the years, it's the mileage" selling, and CW cracks him with a chair to the back, and it looks like it really hurt. He swung it at an angle, and lead with the side/top of the chair, if that makes sense. Then he just bashes Dreamer's brains into chowder.

--This is nonstop brutality. Dreamer just opened a Christmas present that has goddamn razor wire in it. For some reason the kid ringside attendant (Towel Boy?) interferes, and he gets his ass beat because he is a SHITTY towel boy. Dreamer is bleeding all over the place and he just took a spinebuster onto razor wire. He's an idiot. That mat is giving me a staph infection just by looking at it.

--Cyrus is a way better color guy than Don Callis, but is way better evil authority figure than a color guy.

--Spicoli Driver from the top through a table, then a crossface with the plastic around the table makes CW quit. That Cena/Umaga finish. This was everything people love about ECW love and what people who hate ECW hate. These matches just don't hold up, given all we know about the medical things and concussions and all that, but this was nonstop action the whole time. Match had HATE.

We go backstage where Francine is trying to be suggestive while attempting to eat a six-foot sub. Corino comes in and just kinda asks her to suck his dick, to which she replies "Normally I would, but I don't see a belt around your waist." He's now begging that he has the TITLE, not the physical belt, so she should blow him. Now that's a character. This is actually pretty funny for no reason. Francine says Justin Credible is in the other room banging Missy Hyatt. Fair play. Corino bangs on his door as he leaves, so Justin comes out with Missy (in a towel) who begs Francine to "just fuck him already." As she walks away, she walks by Corino and Jack Victory and isn't sure if she fucked Victory or not. I just want to say this was all it sounds like and much more.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2019, 09:33:21 AM
4.) Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck vs Kid Kash and Super Crazy vs The FBI.

If this isn't the best match to this point, I'll be sad.

--I've been very vocal about my love of Kid Kash, and he seriously feels like the biggest star in there. The real sad thing about this show is that you can just see all that might've been if ECW hadn't sunk. I have no doubt Kash and Tajiri would've been top guys, and I like the idea where that could be a PPV main event.

--Mikey and Tajiri are a totally cool evil team with James Mitchell managing them. That just seems oddly right. Big Sal (or Val) splats Kash and he and Crazy get eliminated. That's lame.

--Guido and Mamaluke were a really fun team that deserved more than they got. Guido was great, but Mamaluke is just one of those guys who takes beatings really well. That Paul London gene where it looks like he just dies. He also just sold the Whippersnapper in the most comical fashion.

--I miss Tajiri so much. I didn't realize how bad I missed seeing him kick dudes in the head. He and Mikey win, and are the new number one contenders for the tag titles. Should be getting their shot any day now.

Sandman is backstage, being the Sandman. I never noticed his gross-ass hands before, but seriously it's the Sandman. He's going to win, because he is the Sandman.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on March 03, 2019, 09:53:38 AM
Kid Kash was my dude in the early 2000s. The Kid Rock wannabe gimmick hasn't aged well but he was so exciting to watch. I really liked the EZ Money matches. If ECW had held on a little longer, I have no doubt he would have been world champ by the end of 2001.

I remember being stunned when he randomly showed in WCW for one match (I think he worked a Thunder right before they closed shop) and was hoping they would stick around to just see more of Kash.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2019, 10:40:16 AM
Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger are out with Dawn Marie. Dawn Marie is more than enough. She is spilling out of that top, too. Swinger introduces his manager for the night: The Blue Boy (Meanie) with Jasmine St. Claire (tunnel). I'm glad they just straight up said the match won't matter and there's going to be a catfight.

5.) Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger vs Balls Mahoney and Chilly Willy.

--Chilly Willy takes a Problem Solver and Rhino just runs out to kill everyone he can get his hands on. Sweet. Sadly this is includes Dawn Marie. Fucking Chilly Willy then gets offense in on Rhino for a minute. Jasmine takes a piledriver off the second rope, and she is dead. Like, they're all dead.

Rhino is backstage ranting about how he loves violence. I love me some Rhino.

6.) ECW Title: Sandman vs Steve Corino vs Justin Credible.

--So what's been happening is practically every match cuts directly to the ring introductions so they don't have to replace as much copyrighted music. Makes perfect sense, I can't blame WWE or the original DVD company or whoever because it's a pain in the ass, irritating though it may be. But the Sandman without his entrance is fucked up. That shitty WWECW music he had notwithstanding, he still had the entrance, coming through the crowd and just having a weird aura to him. What's worse here, and I'm just going to assume other ECW PPVs on the network, is that it cuts juuuust enough to hear the crowd singing "Enter Sandman" against a generic rock riff. That pisses me off. You want to use Dreamer's fake "Man In The Box," I don't much care, but there's rules.

--This is a ladder match, and I have high expectations. Corino was good, Sandman is a reckless drunk, and Justin --despite killing business and being seen as a shark-jumper for the company-- was perfectly fine. Besides it has those Home Depot ladders with the paint trays, and those are just my real life favorite ladders.

--They're busting out some fun tribute spots amidst all the chaos, like the Terry Funk windmill and the Raven drop toehold onto a chair. The rest is just ECW being ECW. Weapons and ill-advised bumps and blood, all of which just mean nothing given how every match has had all those things already, but who cares?

--I don't like Joey Styles. He's just unlikable. I would be remiss, however, if I didn't say he is better than Mauro.

--There is a VERY visible discrepancy in terms of workers, like way more than I expected. Corino is so far above Credible, who in turn is above Sandman, and it's not even close. Francine's stake in all this is just wanting to fuck whoever has the title, which means she's probably carrying everything.

--Sandman gets the belt. This was assholes. The fans are singing "Enter Sandman" again and it's really fucking distracting.

They all shake hands, and are promptly jumped by the Baldies. What the fuck are with the Baldies being a factor in anything? Roster must've been just that thin.

Although at least it winds up with

7.) ECW Title: Sandman vs Rhino.

Rhino's all "Why should I be TV Champion when this company doesn't have TV?" which is pretty harsh. Rhino just is on the mic, talking shit. He threatens to kill Sandman's family if he doesn't sanction the match. Jesus Christ dude.

--Rhino just kills the Sandman instead.

I love pre-neck surgery Rhino so much. Cyrus says no one has the guts to challenge Rhino and here comes RVD...who gets jumped by Jerry Lynn and Rhino dips out. That's either some very optimistic build to a future money match or a final goodbye from Heyman.

8.) Rob Van Dam vs Jerry Lynn.

--RVD is posing and basking in the "Welcome back!" and "RVD!" chants, and Lynn just lets him. I know you need to suspend disbelief but that's one of those things I never liked. RVD is in the tiger striped "here are my genitals" tights he'd wear at Invasion six months later.

--This is just an RVD love fest. Match is secondary. I loved RVD in 2001, and he's totally reminding me why when he can be bothered; he's much more interested in Hammerstein sucking his dick than the match. Lynn's playing his part as well as he always does.

--The fans are now marking for themselves and more interested in chants than the match. RVD and Lynn have amazing chemistry but the fans have just thrown the whole thing off. Lynn especially his fucking up some of the things he shouldn't be fucking up.

--John Finnegan is one of my favorite refs. I'd rather mention him than RVD grinning at the crowd while trying to sell things.

--Now Joel Gertner interferes to attack Cyrus. I feel like that needing to happen in an RVD vs Jerry Lynn match, no matter how you feel about either guy, is a shame. Gertner aids in the Van Terminator, and that's it. ECW ends with RVD high fiving Joel Gertner.

Actually it ends with Francine saying she's going to bang Credible, Corino, and Victory. They're all an Eskimo Alliance now.

--------

Nothing on this show felt right, and I get it. This was the end. That dark cloud just killed the show, no matter what.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 03, 2019, 11:42:40 AM
Kash, Crazy, Tajiri, and (oddly enough) Balls Mahoney probably would've had turns in the ME had the company stuck around. Mahoney was very underrated when he could still move, before the injuries and drugs took their toll. If he could've cut a promo there's no doubt in my mind he'd have been a bigger deal.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2019, 01:33:24 PM
Balls would've been a guy floating around the upper card, I think. With the right guy (RVD and Tanaka come to mind) he got to show how good he could be. Even WWECW run was solid.

Speaking totally hypothetically, if they had just one more year, I believe the following would've happened:
-RVD would've bolted to the WWF first chance he got, with Rhino not too far behind.
-Main event scene would be Kash, Tajiri, Nova, and Corino (with Sandman, Dreamer, etc, as always).
-The end of the year would see the rise of CM Punk, AJ Styles, and Christopher Daniels.
-Eddie Guerrero would've worked a few dates and made some stars.
-Heyman would try to make Mike Sanders the new Shane Douglas, and you'd get a rotation of former lower card former WCW guys
-Bagwell.
-They get TV deal, at least briefly. At best a WSX-like MTV thing, at worst...whatever the 2001-02 version of TNA's current deal is.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Spaceman Spiff 🚀 on March 03, 2019, 01:43:23 PM
--Ref bump. Matt Hardy(?!) runs in and gets a Last Ride, and we get a near fall. What the fuck was that? That feud would've been really fun at the time. Taker feuded with the FBI for a while, least he can do is dignify Mattitude. But, yeah, ref's down. Heyman tosses Brock a chair. Boot from Taker. Gettin' fucky.

Was this around the time Matt had heat because he bailed from the ring the 1 time all the jobbers rushed the ring and got beat up / took Last Rides from Taker?
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 03, 2019, 02:03:50 PM
I have no idea. It would make sense. That run in was hilarious.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Harley Quinn on March 04, 2019, 12:28:58 AM
I definitely feel like ECW would've ridden the tag teams of Balls/Spike and Tajiri/Whipwreck much in the vein of a lot of their classic tag team tandems. Heyman and by extension, ECW, always had a solid tag division going at all times for the most part and The Impact Players breaking up would've aided in another team getting a big push to the top spot.

With the folding of WCW, I also could've seen guys return such as Shane Douglas, Mike Awesome, maybe Bam Bam Bigelow among some others.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 04, 2019, 07:26:30 AM
I was trying to discount the guys Vince bought out and the guys who stayed with the Time-Warner contracts, but wasn't sure about the latter. I know Bigelow road the money train for the duration of his deal. I do think they'd have brought Road Dogg in and Sabu would come back, but what I really would've liked is Scott Steiner for a little bit. ECW Poppa Pump with Francine feels right.

Tag division would've ruled, though. I think Corino and Credible would've been a really solid team, and it looked like they were going that way. But I would bet everything Punk and Cabana would've come in, Trent Acid and Johnny Kashmere, Homicide and Maff. Basically the ROH and CZW types, but a year earlier.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on March 04, 2019, 02:05:28 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBOs1eYzqM4

Here's that one Kid Kash WCW match I was talking about a few posts back. Funny enough, it was against EZ Money! It's crazy that the company would close only five days following this show.

It's weird seeing how hard they pushed Jason Jett during the last breaths of the company considering he was such a slimy heel in ECW and then emerges in WCW as a fighting, white-meat babyface. They obviously had big plans for him. I'm also shocked no one has taken his finisher in this day and age.

Wondering if Kash was under any kind of contract or if this was just a try-out.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 04, 2019, 03:02:20 PM
The only other person I've seen use the release suplex with any regularity has been Chris Hero. EZ's was better.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 04, 2019, 03:20:30 PM
TNA missed the boat on EZ Money. He should've gotten the huge face push Kazarian did when he first came in.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 04, 2019, 03:47:32 PM
IIRC, EZ did the indies for a while after WCW went under, even showed up on a few early ROH/TNA shows after being released from a WWF developmental deal. He retired for a bit and only made ring gear, but it looks like he got back in and mostly works smaller indies. He's a guy who definitely deserved a much better shot than he got, but he also didn't do a whole lot to stand out. By the time he was free to really work during the indie boom? He'd been passed by with Joe, Ki, Styles, etc.

Oh shit, that awful Kazarian run...you can link the Asylum's decrease in fan support to Kazarian's run at the top of the X-Division. I'm glad he paired up with Daniels because hot damn was he lousy on his own.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on March 05, 2019, 04:36:18 AM
I saw EZ Money live at an indy here in NY in the early 2000s. He was pretty over but I think he left the business shortly after before resurfacing a few years ago.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 05, 2019, 06:30:41 AM
EZ should've been a big X Division guy. If they could keep getting guys like Jason Cross and Jerelle Clark booked, they could've given EZ a better shot. No way, under any circumstance, should a promotion have signed a Julio Dinero over an EZ Money. Especially if he could design everyone's tights at the same time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Epic Reine on March 06, 2019, 05:21:35 AM
I was always a fan of EZ but was very hot-and-cold with Julio Dinero. The Hot Commodity tag team didn't do much for me, personally.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 06, 2019, 10:16:08 AM
Julio botched half of what he tried. Do you know how hard it was to get a bad match out of Raven during that 2003 run? A completely out of shape Shane Douglas and the dumpster fire called Vampiro couldn't do it but Julio could.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 06, 2019, 02:56:53 PM
I gotta call bullshit on Douglas. That match where Douglas blew up instantly and puked everywhere was not good.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 06, 2019, 04:40:47 PM
And it was still better than the stuff with Julio. THAT'S how lousy he was.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 07, 2019, 07:16:05 AM
I'd much rather have shitty Julio than pathetic Douglas, personally. That post-Destiny run really killed Raven for a long time.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 07, 2019, 01:20:28 PM
Randomizer hit Royal Rumble '96. Fine, cool.

------

Sunny opens the opens the show, drinking champagne in the tub, warning us that parental discretion is advised. I really, really, really miss that Sunny. She was a very pivotal figure in my life, as I'm sure she was many guys out there.

Video package, who gonna win, '90s video package narrator, same as it ever was.

1.) Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson.

--Ahmed was fucking scary looking. Wasted potential out the ass. Super quick, too. I was a big Ahmed fan at the time, as was my dad (he was that kind of parent who "didn't like wrestling" but always was around or interested in what was going on). Thought he'd be the next big guy.

--Jarrett is awesome. I appreciate him now. Kid me fucking HATED him and was happy he came back for this weird month long run just to get steamrolled by Ahmed. It was the tights, man. The suspender tights are the most hateable fucking thing, right up there with sheer ass-trunks.

--But Jarrett's not got a lot to work with. The best and worst thing about Ahmed (the worker) was that he was more or less a shitty Road Warrior Hawk. He just has the mindset of selling being something from another planet, and just kinda no-sells, but flops a little more. Looking now, it's easy to see Ahmed's not ready for primetime and Jarrett was the perfect guy to put him against because he's a really safe worker. Ahmed, though, wipes him out a few times with some stuff he shouldn't. Story of Ahmed.

--Jarrett just says fuck it and guitars him off the top rope. Awesome guitar shot, too, none of that baby powder Attitude bullshit. Ahmed quickly no-sells it and chases Jarrett to WCW. Jarrett might have actually gotten a main event in '96.

Pettengill is with Diesel, who finally is allowed to be himself. I feel like Roman Reigns needs a tweener run and the chance to just riff. Diesel will win the Royal Rumble. That's just always how these shows go. But there's a fake Vince laugh, so we got that going for us.

2.) WWF Tag Titles: The Smoking Gunns vs The Bodydonnas.

--Sunny means **** instantly. The Bodydonnas were a legit good team, though. They had a match with the New Rockers later in the year that is a forgotten gem, I think from one of the Free 4 Alls.

--Short-haired, bleach blonde Tom Pritchard never was right and bordered on me kinda feeling sorry for him. It's like when Boxcar Valentine had to dye his hair for Rhythm And Blues. But I feel like he helped out Candido a lot, much like Kevin Dunn just helped the world with that Sunny upskirt just now.

--The Gunns, though. I never got it. I couldn't reconcile them getting the tag team god push after the Steiners left, back when the Gunns were those twats with capguns at the crickets in the audience with the porno staches. Best of a bad batch, I guess, since 1995-96 had at most five whole teams. The Sidewinder was a cool finisher, and at least Billy was good during their heel run later in the year. Don't @ me.

--That said Billy Gunn as the face in peril against Chris Candido and Tom Pritchard is pretty weird. I don't wanna sound like a McMahon, but he's too big to be getting his ass beat by these dudes who aren't even cheating right.

--Bart gets the got tag. Bart was good stuff, charisma or no. The biggest flaw is that he was named Bart. Much like Candido being named Skip. But Bart, he always felt miscast. He wins with a small package, titles defended. Mr. Perfect is on color and is apathetically upset.

Vince introduces the "very popular" Billionaire Ted in a compilation. Savage being labeled "disloyal" is the answer to every question. Russo being in these slipped my mind, though.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 07, 2019, 01:51:03 PM
Recap of the Razor vs Goldust feud. Real start of the Attitude Era was Goldust. Razor just beating the fuck out of him backstage at Raw is one of my favorite Raw moments, just because you can see Scott Hall is not down for any of this storyline. Dustin is probably one of the most versatile guys ever.

3.) IC Title: Razor Ramon vs Goldust.

--Debut of Marlena. Marlena was as attractive as Terri Runnels was annoying. All she did was never talk, wear cool dresses, and barely talk. She was like the evil Bizarro Elizabeth.

--Razor's theme is ripped off from the Eagles' "Those Shoes," and is also a slowed down version of Austin's theme. I knew the former, but the latter just occurred to me. I feel bad knowing this was Razor's last gasp of relevance, because I was the biggest Razor fan in the world and wanted him around forever.

--Razor's rattled, and you can just see in Scott Hall's eyes that he has the homo anxiety happening. I mean, he's the one who chose to wear the short tights with his sexy hairy chest all puffed out and roll around with the guy in the skin-tight, genital-showing gold outfit. Wrestling's weird.

--Big "Faggot" chant. I hate that shit. Every time it happens, at every show it would ever happen at, they always show the guys at ringside who are exactly the kinda guys who'd chant that. Probably got bumped to the front row this time, given all the empty seats. Oh ew, this was in Fresno.

--As always, I fucking love Scott Hall's punches. That's what made me a fan of the guy as a kid. Razor's Edge was awesome, too, but his punches just always felt perfect. These guys aren't clicking, though. Goldust looks really good out there, but Razor's not exactly feeling it. Phoning it in just enough. But we're at a sleeper-into-comeback sequence. Razor just kicks him in the dick. Gotta respect a good dick-kicking.

--Tim White is the ref, and fucking sucks. Vince and Perfect have been just assuming Goldust will somehow violate Razor in some form for a few minutes now, and I must say that's a little much. Vince, though, seems to actually get the character for once and is almost positive he's just mindfucking him.

--Marlena comes in the ring, but twists her ankle or something, just as Razor is setting up the Edge the 123 Kid appears. Razor just had shitty Rumble luck. When the best you can do is barely beat IRS, that's a jinx. But then he did win the diaper match the next month. Goldust wins the title.

Dr. Jeffrey Unger, Shawn's doctor, is absolutely sure he's able to compete. That collapsing angle, I bought that look line and sinker. I didn't think he'd be back until Mania at the earliest, but then he was able to recover, and the writing was on the wall for the Rumble. Owen was the real victim in all this. He should've gotten a PPV title match. You don't forgive the dude who smashed your brain by himself, without needing 400 Marines to help.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 07, 2019, 02:59:06 PM
Pre-Rumble promos from all the dudes, more or less. I was PSYCHED Jake was back. In my mind he was still the old Jake, though.

Okay, seriously, why did Vader spend like two months wearing his tights backwards? The guy I remembered from WCW, no matter what, could put his fucking clothes on right. That's the kind of stupid decision that feels very Vince.

4.) The Royal Rumble.

--Number One: Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Number Two: Henry Godwinn. This just isn't cool. Beanpole HHH and that slob had fought enough. HHH being built like a relatively normal guy is so weird. Totally different guy.

--Number Three: Bob Backlund. They're hammering the Backlund Presidential run angle, and I wish they'd gone through with that more seriously just because crazy-ass Backlund in a debate would've been a total low point in history. These guys are just are just trying to toss each other and failing.

--Number Four: Jerry Lawler. "Burger King" chant, and I never got why that bugged Lawler. It just was lame. He and Lawler get slopped, despite trying to escape. I wonder what was in the slop tonight.

--Number Five: Bob Holly. Nothing is happening and everyone knows these guys won't win, or last, until someone like Vader comes out. Punches all over.

--Number Six: King Mabel. Ohhh shit. Clean this shit out, dude. Mabel was badass. Sir Mo is at ringside, but he fucking sucked. Either way, there are too many people in there. Backlund just not giving a fuck and going nuts on people is fun, though.

--Number Seven: Jake Roberts. Biggest pop of the night for the music, then you see him in that vest and don't care, but then the snake comes out and he's the most over guy in the world. Snake gets put away, so do the cheers. This run was really sad, yeah, but I was just happy Jake was back. I wanted more "old" generation guys, you know? Lawler has run off and is hiding under the ring.

--Number Eight: Dory Funk Jr. Vince touting ANYONE as a former NWA Champion is fucking weird. He and Backlund are beating up each other and I really think that Backlund and Dory in '96 would've been pretty great. "DDT" chant. Lawler's still under the ring, peeking out. He's not Zelina Vega. But the fighting goes on. Throw someone fucking out.

--Number Nine: Yokozuna. Kill some fools. Backlund's gone, then we get the fat dudes fighting with he and Mabel. Yoko is just too fucking fat. Mabel is too, but Mabel's able to move without wheezing. More fighting.

--Number Ten: The 123 Kid, who is immediately chased around by Razor. How the fuck did Scott Hall never get in a Rumble match? That's bullshit. Mabel just hits him because he can. Kid gets a Dory Funk airplane spin. Bring that shit back.

--Number Eleven: Takao Omori. Oh really? He gets the Orient Express theme, naturally. This is such a fun collection of guys. It's like eras of action figures fighting. Yoko and Jake are fighting on one side, Kid and Dory on the other, HHH and Holly in the other, and Mabel is just hitting people. Writing these is hard when nothing fucking happens of note.

--Number Twelve: Savio Vega. Savio's big push was totally fine. Yoko takes out Mabel, Jake takes out Omori. People finally getting eliminated. This is a mess. I don't remember it being so clogged up. I need Big Van Drano to fix all this.

--Number Thirteen: Vader. Prayers fucking answered. Perfect is marking for Vader, as he should. There's a dream match I wish happened. Vader is biding his time. Savio eliminates Dory. Dude, Vader. You're not killing people. Savio does get the corner punches and is now a target of aggression. Vader not taking all these guys out fucking DUMB.

--Number Fourteen: Doug Gilbert. Hahaha. Vader takes Jake out in such a way it looked like he hit Jake SO hard he backed up three feet and lost his balance. That was pretty nice. Lotta Holly/HHH interaction.

--Number Fifteen: Headhunter A. I think A. Vince insists he is half of the Squat Team. Ok. Vader is dismembering Doug Gilbert, then tosses him. Headhunter tries to fuck with Vader, and he gets his ass beat and thrown out. Vader and Yoko start their long-ass feud.

--Number Sixteen: Headhunter B. Both the Headhunters are coming in the ring now, but they can't tell the legal one. Uh oh! Vader's all "Fuck you" to one and Yoko's all "Fuck you" to the other one and they're both gone. HHH has yet to actually do anything of note since this started.

--Number Seventeen: Owen Hart. Camp Cornette is going to run the table. Everyone only cares about Vader and Yoko, who double team and just crush Savio. I forgot one of Vince's favorite words was "cahoots." They keep beating Savio's corpse.

--Number Eighteen: Shawn Michaels. Well that's that. Vader tosses Savio. Shawn eventually makes his way to Owen, but fuck all that Vader's mask is off and the fat dudes are stiffing each other. That's what's up. Then Shawn eliminates them, crushing all my suspension of disbelief. Then he press slams the Kid out, doing it further. Vader and Yoko are throwing down on the floor as

--Number Nineteen: Hakushi. makes his way out. Talk about your missed chances. Vader comes in and clears the ring. I'm sorry, but that's the end. He even threw Owen through the middle ropes, which is some nice subtle work. Monsoon is out, and we begin that angle (another of my favorite Raw moments was Monsoon getting his ass beat). All the guys come back in the ring.

--Number Twenty: Tatanka. Ha really? Ok. I wish Hakushi fought all these guys at some point, even Tatanka. Shawn/Hakushi? That'd be titties. The lack of Shawn trying to destroy Owen is bugging me. Hakushi is taken out by Owen.

--Number Twenty-One: Aldo Montoya. Shawn got knocked through the ropes, but since I didn't see it I'm just going to assume he pussed out because Aldo would fuck his shit up. But he drags Lawler out, who pulls out some cables and a bottle of water with him. That shit isn't safe! He could've gotten that on the headset he was wearing to give him his cue and killed the WWF.

--Number Twenty-Two: Diesel. He promptly tosses Tatanka, then throws down with Shawn. They should both be attacking Owen like true bros. This has cooled that feud so fucking hard.

--Number Twenty-Three: Kama. Now that he's bald, you can see a little Shango in there. Voodoo Shooter is a great gimmick no one has used yet. Vince announces that Ahmed has finally been taken to a hospital. Who cares? that was a million years ago. Kama, Owen, Diesel, Shawn, HHH and Holly are still in.

--Number Twenty-Four: The Ringmaster. Austin is being put over hard by Perfect, and he eliminates Holly. But fight.

--Number Twenty-Five: Barry Horowitz. Those were the days. Austin and HHH are in the corner. Kama's done nothing but either hit or get hit by Diesel, it seems like. Diesel tosses HHH. Clique dudes tossing Clique dudes all through this match, then. Aldo is gone and I missed it but who cares.

--Number Twenty-Six: Fatu. Making a difference, Fatu attacks Kama. Horowitz has been in there too long already. Fatu still had his Samoan iron-skull powers.

--Number Twenty-Seven: Isaac Yankem. Horowitz is gone. Too many guys in there again. Owen enzugiri's Shawn, but Shawn eliminates him with his babyface powers. Austin attacks and mocks Shawn. What should've been, man. Yankem looks terrible.

--Number Twenty-Eight: Marty Jannetty. He goes right for...Diesel? C'mon. This is the one thing Jannetty is good for, I don't care how superface Shawn is. Ah there we go! All is right with the world! Austin is getting some good time to hang with the main event guys. Both of them.

--Number Twenty-Nine: British Bulldog. Always preferred long tights Bulldog. We cut to Diana in the audience, plantin' them seeds, just like Shawn did. FATU eliminates Austin! That storyline was YEARS in the making. They always had beef. He was making a difference for the Rock, making sure he and Austin wouldn't cross paths at the Survivor Series. Or something. I'm running on empty.

--Number Thirty: Duke The Dumpster Drose. Owen and Bulldog jump Shawn like they're 1900 Marines at a bar. Fatu's gone. It's Duke and Yankem get tossed.

--Final Four: Shawn, Diesel, Kama, and Bulldog. Man is one of those things not like the others. Shawn promptly eliminates Bulldog. Jesus, dude. Diesel takes out Kama and juuust as he turns around to face Shawn, he gets kicked in the face and eliminated. That was a dope ending. Diesel beats Bulldog to the back before Dok Hayes can get an interview. Shawn does that "I'mma pull my pants off" celebration thing he was doing for a while. That's not babyface.

Diesel comes back in, and we get the ol' high five. I remember at the time feeling like, when Shawn came back, he fucking sucked as a character. Took me years to know I wasn't alone. 1995 Shawn, he was the guy I wanted back, not proto-Cena. When he shaved that beard, he shaved off his edge.

I'll do the title match later. Bret and Taker for half an hour is exactly what I don't need right now.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 14, 2019, 02:50:12 PM
WWF Title: Bret Hart vs the Undertaker.

--Diesel, on his way to the back, shoves Paul Bearer and picks a fight with Taker. That was the match I'd wanted since Diesel became relevant. I gotta thank Diesel, though, because this trying to throw down had Taker take off the hat and coat in record time and giving what has to be the fasted entrance of his career.

--Vince is already pretty much telling us we're getting Bret vs Shawn at Wrestlemania. We could've had Taker/Diesel as the main event. Bret puts his glasses on a kid with Down's Syndrome, so you know who the face is. I didn't see Taker giving his mask to anyone with a disability.

--I remember liking this a lot the last time I saw it, by the way. It's moving at '91 Taker pace right now, but I'm sure I was right. I'm sure of it. I miss Taker's just uppercut with his fingers to the throat. That was always the dumb shit people'd do on the schoolyard or my brother would try to do to me, and that could fuck someone up royal.

--Taker is working the face, which makes a level of sense. Smother a guy, you can pin him. But this is feeling a lot like Taker/Hogan from '91, and I'm getting worried. People are actively leaving, too, which makes the empty seat problem look worse. Never get those times when the Rumble isn't the main event, especially when this was absolutely a show where you had to send people home happy.

--Vince reminds us all of the fucking awesome Bulldog match from the month before at In Your House, a match I personally like way more than their Summerslam one. Favorite Bulldog match by a mile. I mean, it isn't this, where it's at a snail's pace and I truly feel like I must've been inebriated in some form when watching it last time. Between the character and having a year where he literally couldn't hit his finisher on the guys he feuded with, Taker is a step behind. Bret seems like he wants to work the Diesel match from last year.

--Suspension of disbelief was always hard with Taker. Like, what good is a submission hold on a guy who just sits up? Why would a zombie ever want to be in a tag team? Around this time I thought kayfabe died when Taker broke his orbital bone and they actually TOLD us. Related: that Taker/Diesel/Shawn vs Camp Cornette six-man from Raw at the end of '95 is one of my favorite Raw matches ever. Bill Watts at his best.

--I object to Perfect putting Bret over so hard. I get it, but still, Bret put you on the shelf for a year and a half storyline-wise. He said his dad could beat up Perfect's dad. Fuck the niceties, Perfect.

--For a dead guy, Taker had some really nice hair.

--The fans can't wait for Bret to get on offense because he's quick and makes things happen. It's weird, the fans are torn to an extent, but they all hate Taker being on offense.

--I can't remember if I was a big Bret fan at this time or was just happy anyone was champion except Diesel. I do know I had a measure of OCD when it came this run because he was a three time WWF champion but only a two time tag and IC champion. It was great seeing new matches, though. The Diesel and Taker matches were basically boss fights for Bret after all the (really good) pirates and (shitty) dentists.

--Bret's untying the turnbuckle pad. Fans boo for him using it. The heat is real, though; these are some gripped fans.

--Taker hits the Tombstone, and Diesel pulls the ref out of the ring at two. Crowd is edged. Diesel smirks and flips him off, which I remember was a BIG deal in my house because "well how dare they!" but it was wrestling. Bret looks like a total puss.

This was just dull. Picked up a little, but not enough.

Pettengill is with Gorilla Monsoon books Bret and Diesel for the next month.

Dok PS Hendrix is with Shawn, who buries the "dinosaurs who ran wild" and is in full obnoxious babyface mode in the worst kinda way. Keeps calling Diesel "my big buddy."

Todd and Gorilla are back, and are interrupted by Taker, which makes Gorilla make the Bret/Diesel rematch a cage match.

Dok Hayes is with Diesel who drops the "You don't gotta like me, you gotta love me, 'cause I'm the best thing goin' today!" He makes a weird analogy about how if a car breaks down, you want Diesel with you, not Taker. Gotta be some inside shit. Diesel is at peak Diesel, but not yet Nash.

Todd is now with Cornette and Vader, who still has his goddamn tights backwards. Vader was the real winner, see.

The end. I swore this was a show worth watching once. I don't see myself revisiting it soon.
Title: Re: Sporadically Updated Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 15, 2019, 02:55:43 PM
I tried. I really wanted the liver enzyme show, but I must honor the bullshit of the randomizer.

Uncensored 1996.

Doomsday Cage. This opening video is just the bad guys saying they hate Hulkamania.

This is the day Bobby Heenan truly died. You can see it in his eyes. He feels like an idiot. Dusty don't care, he's probably mad he didn't think of it in 1986.

1.) WCW US Title: Konnan vs Eddie Guerrero

--"This is our one and only title match tonight!" So literally everyone else is in the cage? Fucking Christ. I won't lie, I was hoping this was the beginning of the Iaukea era.

--Eddie's Tony Orlando look made me just hate him at the time, no matter how they pushed him. I could accept him being good, but he just did not look anything close to a star at that point. Then you had Konnan, this big hairy guy with tassles and a look to him, but sucked pretty hard.

--"Eddie!" chants. I was wrong. "Konnan!" chants. I was wrong there, too. Eddie is carrying this, if that's any kind of surprise. The announcers mention JL and Malenko, and it seems miles away. Eddie gets a camel clutch on Konnan for a bit. Dusty calls Eddie his homie.

--They're playing the crowd to give the illusion of them having a good match. Konnan is also the Mexican Heavyweight champion but that is apparently not on the line here. Why not? I mean, give them a chance to make the fake belt seem like it's worth something to the humanoids.

--THIS IS FUCKING BORING. Why is this in slow motion? I want a real reason. Was Hogan just that afraid of being overshadowed? Do Eddie and Konnan just not click? Are the drugs kicking in?

--The announcers are trying hard to sell this as a mat classic and it's just sad. Konnan fucking suuuuucks. Botched powerbomb hits Eddie in the nuts, so Konnan takes the pin. Fine. Get the fuck out of here, both of you.

25 minutes. I don't know what happened. Maybe this is what is killing me. Maybe this keeps me alive.

Gene shills Compuserve, and we get to an interview with Col. Parker and Dick Slater. He's gonna beat Madusa the beating she deserves. Dick Slater just looks like a wrestler. His dick being dirty made me laugh at the time.

Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 15, 2019, 03:59:23 PM
2.) Lord Steven Regal vs The Belfast Bruiser.

--Finlay ain't fucking around. This is going to rule hard.

--I'm all about the British style, particularly everything these guys personally did when they were lightening fast and beating the goddamn shit out of each other. Now they're doing it like MEN.

--Regal hooks Finlay's arm behind his head and palmstrikes. Oh this is what's up. Nonstop Euro violence is just behind nonstop Japanese violence.

--Pedro Morales was their Spanish announcer? The heck you say. These guys are out to beat the shit out of each other because they're friends. The fans have no idea what to do. The mat wrestling matters and the strikes are the hardest you'll ever see. Basically this some worked pasty MMA event.

--Back and forth just assault. Finlay's back is red, Regal's chest is red. Finlay casually bashing Regal in the face during a headlock is why he's a legend. LARIAT for two, and Regal just seems fucking pissed.Regal suplexes Finlay outside.

--This is a totally different thing than the states had seen, or at least aren't familiar with in 1996. Super stiff Euros could've been the cruiserweights. Even the rest holds look like they will give you a compound fracture. Heenan is into it.

--"This is what WCW is allllll about!" Fuck you Tony. Finlay punches Regal dead in the face. Jesus Christ, my fellow fam. Regal is bleeding everywhere. Finlay don't let up. It isn't even about hate, it's about mortal enemies. World cannot exists with these guys in it. Regal trying the taunts while bleeding all over is pretty badass. But Eaton and Taylor come out for the three on one beatdown on Finlay. I don't know what they had at their disposal, but oh my god they had something.

************3/9

Jimmy Hart and the Giant are with Gene. The Giant was dogshit on the mic, and I really wish he didn't try the poetry.

Oh and the hotline says basically Hogan comes back as a heel. Fuck all that, though

3.) Col. Parker vs Madusa.

Gotta piss.

--Anyway Madusa looks good and her rack has grown a bit.

--Parker keeps locking up with her and giving clean breaks. Madusa remembers her joshi muscles and flings him with the biggest grin on her face. She was so happy to be there, just wrestling.

--Parker hits her with an airplane spin for two, and we have already gone past funny. Unless we get dickplex, nothing is worth it. Even then, I mean, what do I as a fan get out of it?

--It ends when Dick Slater interferes and the Colonel wins. Whatever, fine. It's over. Back to the kitchen with her.

Lee Marshall is breaking down the cage on a chalkboard. Oh, I don't know about this. But wait, interference from the LOD. Whoa. LOD vs Booker T and Sting.

4.) Diamond Dallas Page vs Booty Man.

--DDP without the Nirvana ripoff is bullshit, like always, but he looks like he put weight on and fucked up his hair. Booty Man is so out of left field and I feel like it deserves and explanation. Brutus looks better than ever, yeah, but why the fucking Booty Man? Crowd still loves him, though.

--This angle should've gone on longer. Make DDP the wrestling version of Rickety Cricket.

--Fans have really woken the fuck up to Brutus. Announcers talking about how he was the spy on the Dungeon of Doom. I know he'd be my first choice to be a spy. Give that midget money, the leprechaun.

--I feel so many bad things about the shots of the cage they try to take. I refuse to believe it's what I remember.

--Kimberly is now the Booty Babe. Kim Page had to pretend to be sexually attracted to Ed Leslie for months. She is a lost hero in the Monday Night Wars.That all said, she's wearing this stupid tutu thing when she should just get some of Brutus' ass tights. I feel this is only fair for all involved.

--Are DDP's pants ripping? Man they went all in with that gimmick. Mero really fucked them up.

--While Kim creams for some cyberfaced barber with an ass fixation, we have a side headlock. I bet I know what happens: arm flops twice, Brutus powers up, High Knee (ugh), pin. Maybe some Kim shenanigans.

Called it.Kimberly carried them both.

I'm done for now.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 15, 2019, 11:12:46 PM
Inner clock is fucked.

Luger and Jimmy Hart talk to Gene. Luger was so good.

5.) Loch Ness vs The Giant.

--FUCK YES. Freakshow with the worst worker I have ever seen! I know what I'm in for.

--Giant was a total specimen. He could do anything. But can he beat Giant fucking Haystacks?!" Giant is much taller. Jesus.

--Ness was in his fifties at this point, and I think he died not too long afterwards. Keeping that in mind, holy SHIT he sucks. He's working harder here than I have ever seen him. He jobs to a legdrop, which is bullshit because I wanted my fat fuck chokeslam. Giant as a result gets a title match with Flair the next night on Nitro. That's probably a rockin' match.

Lee Marshall is with Sting and Booker T. Booker is carrying himself like a star, Sting's not doing his best work. That post-surfer, pre-Crow undyed hair period was just a lotta off days. Sting trying to sound street is hilarious.

6.) WCW Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs Booker T and Sting.

--Street fight. This cage looming over everything is fucking hideous. That's going to hurt a little bit.

--They pair off, and Hawk gives Booker more offense than he gave anyone between 1986 and 1990. Booker is sticking out like crazy; the facepainted guys all have black tights, but Booker has those purple Harlem Heat ones, and it is a definite change.

--So WCW at one point had, in the tag division: Sting and Luger, LOD, the Steiners, Harlem Heat, the Nasties, the Horsemen, the Rock n Roll Express, Stud Stable, American Males, the Barrio Brothers, and the Outsiders on the way. That's fucking CRAZY.

--Booker's getting a great rub by being out there, yeah, but most of the focus is on Sting being a face and fighting his bros. I say this just as he gives Hawk a chairshot to the head and he just crumbles. This is a pretty good match. The weak link is Animal, but that's always the case.

--Hawk and Sting by far have the best stuff happening. I would've liked a one on one match with them around this period. They're clicking. Why did Hawk get so dicked over by Hogan, anyway? He'd have been the perfect fourth wheel behind Sting.

--I think Booker and Animal's segment is one of those due-paying tests they like. All Animal can do is club you and hit a really cool powerbomb when he wants to. Sting and Hawk are the opposite. This is all action and I'm so pleasantly surprised. For a street fight with basically no plunder and no blood, this is some good shit.

--I just realized this is everything I expected the LOD/Nasties Summerslam match to be but never got. That stings a little bit, but I'm over it.

--Animal hit Booker with a bottle of Sprite. Oh shit. Booker is hanging in there, and looks much better than the announcers make it sound. The LOD aren't exactly easy guys to make yourself look good against, but he's working his ass off. I do gotta say that there's a distinct lack of chaos. That Sprite bottle, and maybe a poorly-sold chair, have been the plunder. Street fights in Chicago, they're pretty low key.

--Booker and Sting go for chinlocks like fucking goobs, and Booker's works much less well than Sting's. We're approaching THQ levels of just move spamming, for lack of a better term. But Booker hits a DDT on the outside, which should make Hawk as dead as he is now. Some moves just should be the end, you know? All of them are working hard, but Booker is working to prove a point. Sting is absolutely the glue to all this, however.

--Spinarooni into a Harlem Sidekick on Hawk, but he got nothin' left. Sting and Animal chair the shit outta each other's backs. I should mention I have no idea who will win this, however I have an idea, and it's making this much more fun. Sting, though, heads to the back for some reason so Booker can get his ass beat. Sting is back, with brooms. Suddenly it makes sense why they hide shit under the ring now. Stopping a match dead for someone to run to the back and come back with something would be death. But why brooms? Of all things.

--Animal chokes Sting with a broom handle, but Booker saves. Animal and Booker fight in the back, right by Luger who is preening. Animal knocks Luger into some trash. Luger is fucking pissed, yells for Jimmy, and suddenly we have Booker, Stevie Ray, and Luger just beating the shit outta Animal backstage while Hawk and Sting beat the shit out of each other in the ring. The three of them tie Animal to a pole backstage. That was awesome.

--Booker makes it back to the ring, misses the Hangover. Stevie Ray cracks Hawk in the back with a chair, and Booker pins Hawk. This was really fun, and I'm really glad they gave Booker the pin. Backstage Stevie Ray just beats on Animal because he can. That was a really good match, furthered a lot of things along, and the right guy went over. What the hell, WCW?

"What could follow that?!" Tony, no.

I'll wrap this up before long, because ain't no way I'll stay awake through that Doomsday Cage bullshit. I shouldn't be awake now.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 17, 2019, 12:59:06 PM
What a horrible day.

Heenan talking about "40, 50 stories" of cage. Rules: Hogan and Savage start at the top and have to work their way down. Good. When this got announced, I thought it might be cool. My mind had basically the stupid Ready To Rumble cage over the ring, and it would look good on camera. Then it went opposite.

Buffer is here for this. The cage is off to the side, over another ring, where everyone has been making their entrances. I'm pausing to look at it now, because it truly is a spectacular waste of money and looks really unsafe for anyone in it, yet at the same time is structured in such a way no one can see a goddamn thing. Next to it is a giant scaffold.

This going to go half an hour. Jesus Christ.

7.) Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Kevin Sullivan, Lex Luger, Zeus Gangsta, The Bane Solution, and the Faces of Fear.

--Flair is out first with Woman and Liz. Liz looks amazing. Buffer announces Meng as being "from some unknown part of the planet earth." The Barbarian is "banned from many countries." Arn is in a sweatsuit because he's not fucking stupid and cheese-gratering himself. Announcers are talking about Pillman not being there. Pillman was supposed to be in this garbage? Smartest man in wrestling.

--Savage has been a total afterthought whenever this match has been brought up tonight. Hogan, though, is "303lbs of SUPERHERO," says Buffer. As we follow our heroes up the scaffold, Hogan immediately gets a "we're really fucking high up, brother," face.

--Oh my god. Split screens in a cage with purple lighting and four guys trying not to crash through the floor. Flair's playing it the smartest, not getting off any of the poles. Savage and Arn aren't, and you can see Arn looking scared to death. Tony's talking of "maybe there's a trap door" which is some key information for all involved. Heenan is selling his drunken soul about the "miracle of television!" this is.

--Luger and Sullivan are reaching up through their deathtrap to hold Savage in place by his tassles while Flair hits him a bunch of times. Best part, calling it now. Stereo figure-fours from the Horsemen. Stereo figure-four reversals. Powder just came from somewhere.

--So Savage and Hogan make it through the trap door to the next level, eliminating Arn and Flair, apparently. Now it's Luger, Sullivan, and the Faces of Fear. I swear to god I remember the Faces of Fear literally doing nothing. Still no sign of Zeus or Ultimate Solution. Hogan has now locked the Faces of Fear into a separate chamber. The camerawork is fucking atrocious.

--Hogan and Sullivan are now outside the cage and fighting on the scaffold because why bother. It's a Doomsday Cage. It has literally one job. I'm all for the potential of Hogan being thrown thirty feet off a scaffold, but it's a fucking Doomsday Cage. Hogan and Sullivan are fighting on the floor, now Luger and Savage are out there, and it's going to the main ring.

--This is fucking STUPID. Why bother with any of this if you can just leave the cage whenever? Savage is looking like a total joke; camera either cuts away from him doing a move, the announcers don't mention him unless he's getting his ass kicked, or a combination of both. Luger and Hogan in the ring. I think Hogan just literally blew air and knocked Luger down. There's a giant board in play somewhere.

--Flair, Arn, and the Faces of Fear are somehow stuck in the cage or something. The coolest bad guys aren't even getting a chance to bad guy, while a shitty version of the earlier street fight is happening with the Mega Powers and Luger/Sullivan. They got the fucking gall to have the split screen for it and have their shitty chryon thing say Doomsday Cage.

--Oh finally we get Zeus and the Solution (band name, called it). So they're now in the ring under the cage, to give the illusion of danger. I don't know if one ring can take Jeep Swenson and Zeus. Swenson and Hogan are in a battle of the weakest strikes while Savage and Zeus do the same shit Zeus did in '89. And of course we get exactly the same spots from Hogan and Zeus.

--Savage deserves so much better. But now Flair and Arn (now in his trunks) come back in. Thank god. The Faces of Fear are just chillin' upstairs, looks like. Now we get Booty Man throwing throwing pans, so they toss powder at everyone and Hogan cracks people. But Luger, he has a BLACK GLOVE, and misses. Flair's out. Savage actually pins Flair and that's it. Camera after reveals the Faces of Fear just bounced when they got told they weren't needed for the finish.

Listen. This was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I don't understand how this happens. I mean, I do, Hogan's shit and creative control and all that. But how do you make it so visually terrible? That isn't even asking why more than half this this trash wasn't even in the goddamn cage, but I truly think those two complaints go together because no one could see shit in that stupid cage. They all looked scared to death at various points. Savage gets the pin, Hogan's music plays, and the announcers are all "Hogan did it!"

One match undid a show that wasn't too bad up to then. I'm glad Young Me was all about Bret, Shawn, hogpens, and all that. I'm actually mad about this.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 20, 2019, 01:42:08 PM
I don't get this life thing. I don't. If by some miracle I'm as crazy as I feel, I can at least take a little solace in being confused.

Speaking of, Wrestlemania 2000. Glad the randomizer caught this because 'tis the season and all that shit. Anyone wants the original DVD with all the special features, we should talk. Seen a lotta action.

So we're in Anaheim for Wrestlemania 16. Lillian sings the anthem. Crowd is just signs and happy people. And the video package: A MCMAHON IN EVERY CORNER, with some wrestling maybe. I just saw a bunch of guys with what looked like a "Woodland" sign, which for those who care or know CA in any way is random as shit and hilarious.

Ice T is brings out Godfather, D-Lo, and the most hoey of all hoes in the greater Anaheim area. Michael Clarke Duncan is at ringside, marking the FUCK out. But this is an especially noteworthy hoe train. And the front row has a Pomona sign. California is all over, man. Godfather is having the time of his goddamn life because when you're a voodoo MMA pimp you just should.

1.) Godfather and D-Lo Brown vs Big Bossman and Bull Buchanan.

--The real SHIELD bros. They had so many tag teams. The TLC logjam was a blessing and a curse, just for the sake of variety. Yeah, any combination of the Hardys, E&C, or the Dudleys against either of these teams would probably suck, but it'd be different.

--Lawler's tried to make the "Hey JR, I bet when you heard Ice T was here you got thirsty!" joke like three times and just gotten no-sold. JR says that "His name's Barry but wants his friends to call him Bull" when Buchanan is getting beat down in the corner. Why expose the business? Buchanan was absolutely a guy who got a lot of hate for no real reason.

--The hoes are on the hard cam, and I'm willing to bet this is to keep any titty shenanigans from happening. Bossman is showing his age, but a pretty sick finishing sequence has Bossman hit D-Lo with the Bossman Slam and Bull following immediately with a guillotine legdrop from the top (which looked awesome). Eh, it was an opener. They kept the older guys to a minimum. Crowd was hot.

Bossman and Buchanan chase the hoes away. "I don't think this is a social call!" says JR. That's a troubling comment, especially with Lawler being Lawler. Kind of soured now, to tell you the truth.

HHH and Steph, at their respective peaks, admire his WWF Title, her Women's Title, and her big-ass wedding ring. Time has been kinder to her, but I'm just going to be very honest and say slutty Steph was a total milestone and a big part of my existence for that year. The McMahon-Helmsley Era is just in general one of my very favorite periods ever.

The ref's gather everyone in the Hardcore title match together to explain the rules. Tim White is a better speaker than wrestler. But Joey Abs mean-muggin' Taz and Headbanger Thrash is so 2000.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 20, 2019, 02:06:50 PM
2.) The Hardcore Title Battle Royal.

I'm not going to much actual following of this plunder shit. Taz should've been doing basically anything else.

Hardcore Holly gets a huge pop, because Anaheim knows what's up. Four guys are legitimately over in this, I feel like.

The Acolytes are two of them. I was a HUGE Acolytes fan.

Pop of the match is Crash, of course.

--They keep talking about how small Crash is, but he's just as tall as Taz. Taz just won the title, by the way.

--I hated this era of the Hardcore division. It was hilarious, but I liked the days of there being just matches instead of the 24/7 rule. I dunno. Plunder overexposure, at least for me.

--Lotta headshots. A lot of it is cookie sheet bullshit, but still gives a little pause, especially when you got guys like Vis who's dead and all just no-selling.

--Crash is bleeding everywhere. Pete Gas is bleeding EVERYWHERE. Good shot of the Woodland sign on the hard cam, which has to only appeal to me. Funaki wins the title while I write that and runs to the back like a fucking smart person.

--Kaientai should've gotten in on the TLC stuff. Lots of stupid action is going on, but honestly it isn't like it matters. The EXACT same stuff happens backstage as does by the ring. They're back out, and we get a closeup of Pete Gas's straight Muta'd dumbfuck bladed face. Taz and Hardcore stiff the shit out of each other. Everyone knows the finish will involve a Holly or an orange midget, anyway.

--2:50 on the clock. I forgot the clock was there. The stuff with the cookie sheets and trashcan lids always bothered me much more in the sense that a lotta times it just looked like it got dragged down people's faces. Having a trashcan lid potentially drag your scalp to your knows always seemed way more scary than mind brain damage. More you know, right?

--Taz keeps reversing pins because he's the only guy who has been in a real match in the last month. Tazmission on Crash, Hardcore hits both of them with the candy dish the announcers have, and we get the weird botched finish where the wrong Holly goes over. Well, the right Holly, because Hardcore was dope and Crash was Crash.

Recap of Axxess. They all look so young or alive. Kane at autograph sessions in the mask is cool. Trish being nervous is cool. Drugged up Shawn less so. Always wanted to do one of those things where you call a match with one of the announcers.

And D-Von Dudley killed my Roku, so more later, maybe.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 21, 2019, 01:54:46 PM
Back, with the Snickers Wrestlemania Blimp. Dude they need blimps back. Replay of the botched Hardcore Title finish, and that's all on Tim White for not calling an audible. Him stopping right before hitting the three was way worse than Crash missing whatever cue he had.

Head Cheese. I liked them as a team. Their act doesn't come close to any of the other variations, but both guys are good by me. We get the midget in the cheese suit, and the announcers talking about gimmicks and getting over and making me hate a segment with a midget. I thought that shit was at least put in cold storage until 2019.

3.) Head Cheese vs T and A.

--Trish is just all ass and boobs, and wildly uncomfortable still. You'd never know she'd turn into THE Trish Stratus. Lawler is the worst, as always.

--As a fan of "two guys doing nothing so let's make them a team," this is my kinda match. Crowd's beyond dead, though. Snow and Blackman work alright together, but Test and Albert kinda blow. That might be because they're at most the third best power team on the roster, behind the Acolytes and the Dudleyz (throw in Bossman and Buchanan wherever if you so choose). Them just being steamrolled by Head Cheese with their cheese midget isn't helping.

--This crowd is dead. I'm not sure I've heard a Wrestlemania crowd so quiet. JR busts out the "bowling shoe tendencies," but...whatever, dude, Al Snow just no-sold the Baldo Bomb. The cheese midget stalking Trish gets kind of a pop. Test's flying elbow was a thing of beauty. It's over, and that gets a pop. They kill the midget, and the crowd isn't sure how to feel, beyond it being the place of the midget in professional wrestling to be destroyed by the bigger people.

Mae Young is the Kat, who's naked but shot Austin Powers-style. Lawler cums a lot.

Dudleys are ready. Bubba Ray is still Southern. He says "strap" like a total mark.

Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 21, 2019, 02:28:18 PM
5.) WWF Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boys vs Hardys vs Edge and Christian.

--As this is one of my favorite matches of all time, I'm probably going to chill and just watch this more than anything.

--Nothing in this is stale yet. Everyone is at their physical peak. Time makes this feel really special, even if it's probably not as remarkable a match by modern standards. The heat for this fucking nuts.

--I feel like a cutter off a ladder and a Twist Of Fate off a ladder are more or less the same when you land, except the former has a better chance of the guy giving the cutter fucking themselves up more. That this even crosses my mind while these dues are just so casually killing themselves makes me remember the good times.

--Jeff running the rail and EATING ladder from Bubba Ray is grosser than ever. Fuck. Him being the mobile Hardy is ridiculous.

--That table swanton has been topped or replicated many times over by Jeff, but dude. Just wish they got a better shot of the original.

--The casual dumping of Matt from the table platform into the table next to it is the forgotten great bump of any of these matches. Edge and Christian grab the belts.

I love this match so much. Cemented everyone, but I'm not sure if it holds up. Maybe you had to be around when all this was happening to really appreciate it, you know? Like punk rock, or John Cazale, or Super Mario 3. Regardless this is a masterpiece, I don't give a fuck how much of that is personal or objective, and these idiots kept raising the bar.

The show is now a downhill slide. I'm in no mood for a genuine slog, even if it's a slog I'll probably like more than I remember. More eventually.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Harley Quinn on March 22, 2019, 12:11:20 AM
I remember watching the No Mercy '99 Ladder Match and following that up with the above triple threat and then the Summerslam TLC match (or was Summerslam first? Whatever).

All of them were bonkers and I was surprised at not only how many of the crazy spots held up as legitimately crazy, even given the modern era and stuff that's happened since, but just how smooth the matches were paced too. They never felt like they went too fast or were going spot to spot in an inorganic way. I also got a greater appreciation for the 'lesser' bumps e.g. simple stuff like Matt getting a ladder to the crotch, etc. that still look painful as hell.

Pretty sure I recapped the No Mercy match somewhere. EDIT: http://culturecrossfire.com/forums/index.php?topic=9383.msg743139#msg743139 including my live chat reactions to the tag match
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 22, 2019, 03:32:45 AM
It went No Mercy 1999, WM16, then SummerSlam. I remember a lot of us referring to WM16 as TLC0 sometimes, and I think it's better than any TLC but the second, personally. The chaos was so smooth because you had prime Dudleys there to lead it, and they're probably the best "hardcore" team in wrestling history. They are to tag team garbage/spot matches what Foley was to singles.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 22, 2019, 02:39:14 PM
Table match at the 2000 Rumble is just as important as the No Mercy ladder match, in my eyes. Made the Dudleys instantly and made Jeff into the dude who loves jumping off high shit with the entranceway spot.

What I love about this match is that stuff is always happening. There's no dead zone like many of the matches post-TLC where you get the "so and so is knocked off the ladder, that has to suck, now he's dead for five minutes until the next spot" have now. You can hear guys getting thrown into steps while watching Christian and Matt fight on the ladder. You can see Jeff get his face just wrecked by Bubba throwing the ladder at him just as he hits peak momentum (I forgot all about that spot and it's now my favorite). Best of all, it always felt like it ended just too early, and you're left wanting more. It isn't about who wins, it's about the crazy. I saw this after TLC 2 and the handful they did after, like TLC Vegas. This holds up SO well, and you know if they could we'd be getting rematches forever.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: Avid Warehouse Enthusiast on March 24, 2019, 10:40:19 AM
On point with the constant action. That's what made the Dudley Boyz garbage brawls work: they knew to keep the momentum going and meet up for big spots and the finish, not to have everything 100% in focus.
Title: Re: A Sick Guy Watches Random Shit
Post by: The Valeyard on March 24, 2019, 02:55:25 PM
Exactly, and I don't think they ever had guys as willing as the Hardys and E&C.

Back for a bit.

Fat, busted up Mick Foley puts over the ladder match and does his "I want the title, bang bang" thing despite awkwardly not sure he's ready to be out there.

JR immediately puts over the ladder match and all the guys and talks about their innovations, how they'll "be remembered for a long time." Lawler wants puppies.

6.) Catfight: Terri vs the Kat.

--Special ref is Val Venis, who is being totally wasted. I get what they're going for, but we could've gotten more than one singles match, and Taz/Val would've ruled. Then do this crap.

--Moolah is with Terri, so I assume she rented her out to X-Pac or something before the match and took her cut. Mae Young is with Kat, in a catsuit. Knowing Lawler was with that is just baffling.

--So they make out with Val to get him to be on their side, as women are wont to do. As Val tries hard to keep Mae from whipping her boobs out, we get a false finish in a catfight. After seeing her as Marlena, Terri peaked in 1996.

--A bullshit finish in a catfight. Neat. Mae bronco busts Moolah. Mae and Kat attempt to strip Terri, but it only half works. This paid off on no level.

Radicalz are backstage hyping the next match, and we get what has to be the debut of Latino Heat.

7.) Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn vs Too Cool and Chyna.

--Why they didn't just put Rikishi in this and have Chyna just cause a bullshit finish never made sense. Then you have Kane finally kill X-Pac officially for good. Road Dogg was a total Hardcore Battle Royal ringer. But even then, half the people in this are dead.

--I was beyond done with the Chyna push by this point, and seeing her in this match with these guys is painful now more than it was then. It's not even funny.

--Malenko was the Light Heavyweight champion? Already? What the fuck, man. I know the title was a total joke, but Dean could've had a ***1/2 match by accident with anyone in their range. The more this show goes, the more I wish Wrestlemania was No Way Out and Wrestlemania was Backlash.

--The Worm being the second most over move on the show is crazy. This match is pretty much everything wrong with the product at the time, in my eyes. Russo leftovers.

--For real, why was Saturn not a huge star? He and Dean were a really good team for a while, but got nowhere. That run with Terri wasn't terrible. Dude could even have filled the Venis spot with the Rikishi feud.

--Chyna's only almost killed Eddie once, off a powerbomb. She pins him in there somewhere.

Fans get awarded tickets to get the Ric Flair treatment to go to Wrestlemania. They aimed real high. Not trash people at all.

Shane hypes Big Show. He had no reason to be in this. But he's got his Big Nasty Bastard bib on so shit will get real.

The alliance between Kurt Angle and Bob Backlund falls apart on Heat. That might be the best teaming I can't remember.

Angle is telling the head of security to make sure he lets him know that, as the EuroContinental Champion and Olympic Gold Medalist, that after he wins he may get rushed by some kids (and some adults, too). Kurt Angle is the best.


As my food just got here, I'm stopping. More later. This is a shockingly hard show to watch.