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Offline RedJed

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Bad Movies 2019
« on: January 13, 2019, 06:15:25 AM »
Sure didn't take long this year for a shit-heap of a film to be released....

Replicas: I had seen a brief trailer for this on the AXS movie trailers show but that was literally it, I think. I had also seen an article headline maybe a few months ago touting this as Keanu Reeves' worst film he's ever done. Thought that had to be hyperbole given what I saw in the trailer (a perhaps substandard but tolerable wacky sci-fi flick) but wow.....this was some kind of terrible.

I guess the most glaringly noticeable part of it all was the overtly wooden and really awful acting across the board. This had to have been rushed or something. The director must have been both equally non-engaging on what he wanted out of scenes, and had no patience with numerous takes. Reeves is normally a bit monotone in delivery at times, but my god.....this was having someone trying to not deliver some range and emotion where it desperately needed to be given what kind of tone they were taking this nonsensical farce of a story. I almost wondered if the director was intentionally trying to make the actors deliver their lines like cloned robots because that's how it almost came off as during most of it. Alice Eve and Tom Middleditch (verizon guy/Silicon Valley star) also came off just as bad, certainly in all cases a strong amount of unintentional hilarity at just how bad it was. I don't blame them as much as this horribly pretentious script though, it was going to be impossible to make anything in this convincing. They were adding weird and confusing extra tech-related CGI that wasn't being explained whatsoever, including the idea of storing memories and complex algorithms inside lit up energy sources? Which then could be transferred to robots or other cloned humans? The cloning aspect was so terribly arranged too. Lots of WTF layers in this. But its so much of it and so acid-trip bizzare of stuff that its worth checking out. The scene shifts are harsh and the story goes in so many directions that it leaves you dizzy at it all. I mean that in the best way possible...

You always know you have a really bad movie too when a character legit asks, "what does brutal mean?" and you want to yell out, "THIS MOVIE SO FAR!" Yes, that really was a scene.

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2019, 09:39:41 AM »
Cmon folks.....there is PLENTY of bad movies that are around this time of the year. The annual January dump sure brought us some.

The one that stands out from recently is Serenity. Did anyone else catch this piece of shit? It was a total zero advertising to it dump from a barely holding on lameduck studio that picked up rights to a film that nobody wanted rom a few years back in what had significant star power but such a terribly put together confusing tone deaf story to it. The performances were, I guess, ok but you literally felt like the entire film was in a dream sequence kind of. Well turns out it kinda was.....

Spoiler: show
The big twist they pulled out third act in this shitfest was that all of the characters on this remote island (where the film took place) was figments of a little boys imagination and not only that but they were characters he created in a GODDAMN VIDEO GAME with his experiences from his childhood. There was some confusing as fuck subplot as well as how the main character was becoming to be self aware of that point, but then at the same time you learn that his character was not only the kid's father (and he's trying to protect him and his ex from being beaten by her current bf),  but died in the Iraq war years later. Confusing as fuck.


I guess I didn't see the big picture here as this was quite the epic mess for sure. Diane Lane and Anne Hathaway tried to turn up the sex factor to distract from the cosmic what-the-fuckness of all of this, and MM was being portrayed as this playboy fisherman type which was kind of a weird combo to boot. All in all, total hot garbage that easily is the worst stuff I've seen so far this year.

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2019, 12:13:41 PM »
I saw it and reviewed here:

http://culturecrossfire.com/forums/index.php?topic=13802.msg992461#msg992461

One of the absolute worst movies I could have watched. I do understand the point of Matty M's character being a playboy like that, but seriously what the fuck.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline AA484

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2019, 12:30:00 PM »
How does a move with those three suck so bad?  I love Diane Lane on a level that is probably unhealthy but no way am I seeing this garbage.

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2019, 12:35:14 PM »
How does a move with those three suck so bad?  I love Diane Lane on a level that is probably unhealthy but no way am I seeing this garbage.

Spoiler: show

They're all in a video game being controlled by some kid who wants to kill his step-dad


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2019, 12:45:09 PM »
I saw it and reviewed here:

http://culturecrossfire.com/forums/index.php?topic=13802.msg992461#msg992461

One of the absolute worst movies I could have watched. I do understand the point of Matty M's character being a playboy like that, but seriously what the fuck.

Haha yep what a total mess this film was. I had recently read the backstory behind this films total post production collapse and it's epically awful. I'm still left confused at the swiss cheese plotholes as well as literally almost everything made zero sense by the end of it all.

https://bombreport.com/yearly-breakdowns/2019-2/serenity-2019/

Online Harley Quinn

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2019, 11:56:15 PM »
Patrick coming out on February 15th seems like the next in line of the dog-centric family kids movies reminiscent of the 1980s and 1990s but critics are not fans giving it an average of 4.8. Probably not a worst of the year contender but will be completely forgettable.

I never know how to weigh such films but I kind of agree with Doug Walker at times that even if they are just "kids movies" they deserve to be good movies in and of themselves.

Offline Saints_Fan_H

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2019, 02:29:56 PM »
I see that Unplanned has finally hit theaters. The apparent "true" story of a former Planned Parenthood who has a conversion to be anti-abortion. The obvious people are excited about it.

I might have mentioned this elsewhere, a friend of mine works in film props and other parts of the process. He was assigned to make the aborted fetuses and body parts for this film. It was such a huge undertaking for one man that he missed a LOT of social engagements with our group, but they paid him extensively. His wife even met us out one night in a complete piss ass mood at all the "dead babies around my fucking living room!" but it was a gig and the money was enough that principles were compromised.

When he was finally finished with, "that piece of shit propaganda film" he let out a slew of obscenities that'd make Andrew Dice Clay blush about the financial backers and the Catholic church specifically. But he was paying for our drinks  and wiping his ass with hundred dollar bills (metaphorically on the latter) so we didn't call him taking the gig in the first place. Love that foul mouth fucker.

Offline Gary

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2019, 09:57:17 AM »
Wonder what a "Hellboy" movie that Guillermo Del Toro had nothing to do with would be like? Wonder no more

"go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse"

Offline Sty Guy Kamala

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2019, 08:18:28 AM »

Amy Smart deserves better

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2019, 09:25:40 AM »
Steve Rannazzisi is right where he should be though.

Online Winter Epicland

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2019, 09:41:28 AM »
Is he the guy who lied about being inside the Twin Towers during 9/11? If so, then yeah, right where he should be.

Offline Sty Guy Kamala

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2019, 12:30:38 PM »


I like how everyone on that poster looks miserable to be there, to some extent. Except Simon Rex, who looks amped to be getting work anywhere in the year of our lord 2019.

Offline Youth N Asia

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2019, 12:30:21 AM »


Looks way worse than I thought it would (and my bar was low)

Online Winter Epicland

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2019, 12:32:58 AM »
Really? I think this actually looks better than I was expecting (and I also set the bar pretty low).

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2019, 01:15:46 AM »
Yeah, I don't think that trailer looked really that bad at all. Granted I'm a fan of the Askew Universe and this looks like it's playing to that fandom with a shit-ton of throwback cameos from other characters in the universe, etc. Sure, its juvenile humor up the yinyang, but that is par for the course with the whole Jay and Silent Bob gimmick. I'll be going to the "Reboot Roadshow" they are doing for sure.

Would have loved a Clerks 3 instead, but ah well...

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2019, 03:12:52 AM »
I'm in the YNA camp. Besides blending in the How High universe (Should've got a sequel to that instead.), that looked godawful. And more and more people I like just keep showing up in it to saw dick, cock, or asshole or cock.

Offline strummer

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #17 on: July 19, 2019, 06:48:15 AM »
Maybe it's because I have an irrational dislike of Jason Mewes but I thought that looked terrible as well.  Mewes's voice sounds as hoarse as ever.  Is he still using? (Sober since 2010)

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2019, 10:25:32 AM »


Written and Directed by Sir Fred Durst

Online Winter Epicland

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2019, 10:34:02 AM »
Nick Cave should really be the only musician allowed to make movies.

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #20 on: August 21, 2019, 10:38:55 AM »


Filming for this began in 2014 and it looks so bad to me. Like it feels like it's from 2007 or 8.

Offline Gary

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2019, 04:00:24 AM »
Did you know they remade "Jacob's Ladder"? Now you know. Oh, and another "Fill in the Blank Has Fallen" movie.

"go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse"

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2019, 03:40:12 AM »
This somehow slipped through the cracks



yall can watch it now on Netflix

Offline Baby Shoes

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2019, 03:50:29 AM »
90s Eddie Murphy is proud
[img width=800

Quote
Fan: WHY CAN REY BEAT BIG GUYS BUT NOT KIDMAN
Kevin Nash: Kidman wears a wife beater

Offline Sty Guy Kamala

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #24 on: September 04, 2019, 06:21:32 AM »

They won't let us watch The Hunt but Kevin Sorbo can murder antifa? Bullcrap!

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #25 on: September 10, 2019, 03:03:08 AM »
Don't Let Go: Wanna see a film that is paced possibly worse than any film in years? How about a tone that leaves you confused what is exactly the point? And swiss cheese plotholes that are never explained in terms of how and why the events of the film are occuring as they are? Or maybe the most obvious and predictable who dun it ending in recent memory as well? Then go seek this really underwhelming film. I was surprised Blumhouse attached themselves to this as it was neither horrifying, terrifying, or even really engaging.

I was surprised this was as weak as it was given the star power in it. Just one of those throwaway films where they don't use the talent nearly as effective as they could be (ie terrible direction) and hardly nothing made sense by the end of the film (ie terrible writing). The narrative was hard as fuck to follow since there was a constant flow of time shifts.

Just a terribly executed film that never should have seen the light of day, at least for a theatrical release.

Offline Sty Guy Kamala

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #26 on: October 03, 2019, 07:41:11 AM »

Hey Tom Six has a new movie coming out. How does he try to top The Human Centipede trilogy? How about a movie about rich white women masturbating at footage of Syrian refugees!

Offline delmiss

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #27 on: October 06, 2019, 03:27:50 AM »
The one that stands out from recently is Serenity. Did anyone else catch this piece of shit? It was a total zero advertising to it dump from a barely holding on lameduck studio that picked up rights to a film that nobody wanted rom a few years back in what had significant star power but such a terribly put together confusing tone deaf story to it. The performances were, I guess, ok but you literally felt like the entire film was in a dream sequence kind of. Well turns out it kinda was.....

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #28 on: October 07, 2019, 01:18:29 AM »
The one that stands out from recently is Serenity. Did anyone else catch this piece of shit? It was a total zero advertising to it dump from a barely holding on lameduck studio that picked up rights to a film that nobody wanted rom a few years back in what had significant star power but such a terribly put together confusing tone deaf story to it. The performances were, I guess, ok but you literally felt like the entire film was in a dream sequence kind of. Well turns out it kinda was.....

Why is this newbie posting a portion of a review I wrote myself in this thread??? WTF

Admins, check through on this.....seems phishy....

Offline cobainwasmurdered

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #29 on: October 07, 2019, 11:47:40 AM »
its some kind of bot, i banned it

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #30 on: October 07, 2019, 02:20:28 PM »
Thank ya sir!

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #31 on: November 06, 2019, 01:16:02 AM »
Have I ever seen a plethora of garbage lately....

Countdown: This was a more complicated and tenuous version of Final Destination with really a gaping and confusing story on why and how people are getting killed via an app that tells them when they die. Probably the most pretentious PG-13 "horror" I've seen in a few years. I can't say this was the one of the year's worst, but it was pretty bad and offered nothing of substance.

Inside Game: After watching this over the weekend in the theater, I caught myself wondering how such an amateurish film could even be rolled out in mainstream theaters like AMC. I guess it had a few stars from the 90s. It just felt so low budget and tone deaf in every way imaginable. I thought the premise was going to be following a ref who fixed NBA games to appease to his bookie friend. The way they explained how this went down was confusing as fuck as someone who doesn't follow the sports books and the focus of this crap was so misdirected....it should have been on the ref itself, but instead we got more on the bookie itself (Will Sasso, who played a drug-fueled cokehead, which had some fucked up moments for sure) and his middle man party buddy (Scott Wolf) who was in on this thing too. This played out terribly in terms of a flowing cohesive story that was engaging. Total waste of time really.

The Current War-Directors Cut: If this was the director's cut, I can't imagine what the original film was like. This was such a scattered mess of a narrative that moved at a snail's pace. I could not stay awake during it whatsoever, I think I passed out three times during it. This was one of the last Weinstein grabs which then got shelved for a few years because it generally sucked beyond the connection to Weinstein. I was shocked to see so much star power in a film like this. I think it could have been very interesting, but as it was presented, I was left wondering what was the point of this other than showcasing how much of an entitled asshole Thomas Edison supposedly was.

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #32 on: December 02, 2019, 01:16:57 AM »
Charlie's Angels (3): I put that in parenthesis as this was one of those reboots that actually is cloned as an actual sequel to the other films, but it obviously wasn't marketed as such at all. Anyway, this was one muddling film to say the least. It felt rushed in execution and Elizabeth Banks just took way too much control in all of this. I didn't mind her directing style (albeit that it was kinda drab) and her performance was fine, but her singlehandledly attempting the screenplay was a dubious task that ultimately failed. There was a lot of lines that made me wonder.....why? Also, the narrative just did not flow whatsoever and it became too many swerves going on at the end for my liking.

While the other two CA films were over the top and brazenly unrealistic, bordering on a live action music video, this one pulled that concept completely out of the fold. Because of Banks' involvement, it was less T&A/sex appeal and a more realistic approach in ways. That could have been a good thing, but it wasn't replaced with an engaging narrative and well put together character development at all.

Offline Sty Guy Kamala

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #33 on: January 07, 2020, 03:42:03 AM »
'Mr. Durst, why do you think the Academy failed to recognize your latest film?"

"It's all about the he said, she said bullshit."

Offline The Art of Rasslin'

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #34 on: January 08, 2020, 08:23:15 AM »
Quote
The Fanatic earned $3,153 from 52 theaters in the U.S. on its opening day, making it a US box-office failure.[2][6][7]

I thought that was a typo at first, had to look it up.


I can't believe a guy can be that big, and jump around like he does what a great athlete!

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #35 on: January 09, 2020, 12:54:55 AM »
I saw that Fanatic is on Amazon Prime, I need to see just how fuckin bad that one was.

So did anyone here grin and bear it and go see CATS? I've been told I seriously need to under some heavy herbal sedation. We will see what the weekend holds. I will not pay a single penny to see this hot garbage, but I suppose I can sneak in after another one.

I previously stated I think in the bad movies of the decade thread that I walked out of one film this year and that was Black Christmas. Ended up bailing after it become obvious this was going to be a complete dud. Well, a friend talked me into going back to it at the discount theater last weekend just to see how bad this fuckin piece of shit was.

Was it that bad to get the worst of the year? Very much so. This just had NOTHING GOING FOR IT. The only even subtle connection to the original was in the context of the killer (or in this one, killers) kind of chasing the girls around their house at some point. But that really was it. The second act of this film particularly was a total epic mess that made me legit wondering what the third act would bring. Then came the mythology aspect of the story that made absolutely no sense. Guys were killing girls because of black magic? There was black blood coming out of a statue and also, I guess to keep this PG13 (there wasn't any graphic blood or gore obviously), every guy actually then had the black blood inside them as well instead of red? There was a ritual that supposedly did this but it wasn't explained even close to remotely well.

Blumhouse should be ashamed to put out such tremendous trash. Worst of the year hands down for me. There was nothing so bad it was funny, or so corny/cheesy I could still be entertained on some level. I just wanted this damn thing to end.

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #36 on: January 09, 2020, 02:06:33 AM »
I think I might be nuts, but while The Fanatic is very bad, I don't think it's worst of The year or decade bad. Travolta's strange performance is much more watchable than some of his other recent performances, Devon Sawa is decent actually, it isn't boring, and Durst's directing is dull but competent. It's so much better than something like Gotti.

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #37 on: January 09, 2020, 02:40:36 AM »
Oh man, could we actually start a thread for the worst 2010s films? I'd have the put the enormously racist Gods of Egypt in the top 10 somewhere.

And I watched the Fanatic awhile ago on Prime. It's what it is. For as bad as it is, I agree it's the most memorable Travolta has been in years if that's even saying anything.

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #38 on: January 09, 2020, 03:20:26 AM »
Oh man, could we actually start a thread for the worst 2010s films? I'd have the put the enormously racist Gods of Egypt in the top 10 somewhere.

And I watched the Fanatic awhile ago on Prime. It's what it is. For as bad as it is, I agree it's the most memorable Travolta has been in years if that's even saying anything.

There's a thread out there already for it here (worst of last decade)

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #39 on: January 09, 2020, 03:21:56 AM »

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #40 on: January 09, 2020, 05:39:19 AM »
Gary made a thread for that, Epic.

Offline strummer

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #41 on: January 15, 2020, 05:39:56 AM »
I think we can add "Dolittle" to the list. Getting slaughtered by critics

Offline Gary

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #42 on: January 15, 2020, 05:53:28 AM »
I think we can add "Dolittle" to the list. Getting slaughtered by critics
I figured since the year 2019 is over, that we needed a new thread so here ya go

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