Author Topic: Bad Movies 2019  (Read 159 times)

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Offline RedJed

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Bad Movies 2019
« on: January 13, 2019, 06:15:25 AM »
Sure didn't take long this year for a shit-heap of a film to be released....

Replicas: I had seen a brief trailer for this on the AXS movie trailers show but that was literally it, I think. I had also seen an article headline maybe a few months ago touting this as Keanu Reeves' worst film he's ever done. Thought that had to be hyperbole given what I saw in the trailer (a perhaps substandard but tolerable wacky sci-fi flick) but wow.....this was some kind of terrible.

I guess the most glaringly noticeable part of it all was the overtly wooden and really awful acting across the board. This had to have been rushed or something. The director must have been both equally non-engaging on what he wanted out of scenes, and had no patience with numerous takes. Reeves is normally a bit monotone in delivery at times, but my god.....this was having someone trying to not deliver some range and emotion where it desperately needed to be given what kind of tone they were taking this nonsensical farce of a story. I almost wondered if the director was intentionally trying to make the actors deliver their lines like cloned robots because that's how it almost came off as during most of it. Alice Eve and Tom Middleditch (verizon guy/Silicon Valley star) also came off just as bad, certainly in all cases a strong amount of unintentional hilarity at just how bad it was. I don't blame them as much as this horribly pretentious script though, it was going to be impossible to make anything in this convincing. They were adding weird and confusing extra tech-related CGI that wasn't being explained whatsoever, including the idea of storing memories and complex algorithms inside lit up energy sources? Which then could be transferred to robots or other cloned humans? The cloning aspect was so terribly arranged too. Lots of WTF layers in this. But its so much of it and so acid-trip bizzare of stuff that its worth checking out. The scene shifts are harsh and the story goes in so many directions that it leaves you dizzy at it all. I mean that in the best way possible...

You always know you have a really bad movie too when a character legit asks, "what does brutal mean?" and you want to yell out, "THIS MOVIE SO FAR!" Yes, that really was a scene.

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2019, 09:39:41 AM »
Cmon folks.....there is PLENTY of bad movies that are around this time of the year. The annual January dump sure brought us some.

The one that stands out from recently is Serenity. Did anyone else catch this piece of shit? It was a total zero advertising to it dump from a barely holding on lameduck studio that picked up rights to a film that nobody wanted rom a few years back in what had significant star power but such a terribly put together confusing tone deaf story to it. The performances were, I guess, ok but you literally felt like the entire film was in a dream sequence kind of. Well turns out it kinda was.....

Spoiler: show
The big twist they pulled out third act in this shitfest was that all of the characters on this remote island (where the film took place) was figments of a little boys imagination and not only that but they were characters he created in a GODDAMN VIDEO GAME with his experiences from his childhood. There was some confusing as fuck subplot as well as how the main character was becoming to be self aware of that point, but then at the same time you learn that his character was not only the kid's father (and he's trying to protect him and his ex from being beaten by her current bf),  but died in the Iraq war years later. Confusing as fuck.


I guess I didn't see the big picture here as this was quite the epic mess for sure. Diane Lane and Anne Hathaway tried to turn up the sex factor to distract from the cosmic what-the-fuckness of all of this, and MM was being portrayed as this playboy fisherman type which was kind of a weird combo to boot. All in all, total hot garbage that easily is the worst stuff I've seen so far this year.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2019, 12:13:41 PM »
I saw it and reviewed here:

http://culturecrossfire.com/forums/index.php?topic=13802.msg992461#msg992461

One of the absolute worst movies I could have watched. I do understand the point of Matty M's character being a playboy like that, but seriously what the fuck.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline AA484

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2019, 12:30:00 PM »
How does a move with those three suck so bad?  I love Diane Lane on a level that is probably unhealthy but no way am I seeing this garbage.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2019, 12:35:14 PM »
How does a move with those three suck so bad?  I love Diane Lane on a level that is probably unhealthy but no way am I seeing this garbage.

Spoiler: show

They're all in a video game being controlled by some kid who wants to kill his step-dad


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline RedJed

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2019, 12:45:09 PM »
I saw it and reviewed here:

http://culturecrossfire.com/forums/index.php?topic=13802.msg992461#msg992461

One of the absolute worst movies I could have watched. I do understand the point of Matty M's character being a playboy like that, but seriously what the fuck.

Haha yep what a total mess this film was. I had recently read the backstory behind this films total post production collapse and it's epically awful. I'm still left confused at the swiss cheese plotholes as well as literally almost everything made zero sense by the end of it all.

https://bombreport.com/yearly-breakdowns/2019-2/serenity-2019/

Offline Harley Quinn

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Re: Bad Movies 2019
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2019, 11:56:15 PM »
Patrick coming out on February 15th seems like the next in line of the dog-centric family kids movies reminiscent of the 1980s and 1990s but critics are not fans giving it an average of 4.8. Probably not a worst of the year contender but will be completely forgettable.

I never know how to weigh such films but I kind of agree with Doug Walker at times that even if they are just "kids movies" they deserve to be good movies in and of themselves.