Author Topic: In Which I Review Movies Part II  (Read 2803 times)

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Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies 2019
« Reply #150 on: May 27, 2019, 06:05:03 PM »
Documentary.



One of Us (2017), directed by Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady

Orthodox Judaism is a subject I seem to have been exploring over the last few months, but I swear that this is unintentional and merely a result of going down lists that are already made, that I attempt to adhere to. What I'm saying is that this was not a conscious choice, and I'm not trying to compare anything I do to this documentary in any way, but this is a documentary where the state of play for the people involved was not a conscious choice for them. The lack of a conscious choice to become a Hasidic Jew is made clear throughout the film, the case of the people involved is very well stated. I have also read things in recent weeks that make it more clear to me why the oppression of this community is not reported on the way that it could be. The most obvious reason is that these works further enforce anti-Semitic stereotypes. I cannot disagree with this idea, we know that a lot of people believe anti-Semitic things and that these beliefs are becoming stronger again. Another reason is that people don't exactly understand this community in the first place and could be poorly informed by simply listening to or reading one work related to it. The last thing that sticks out is that people in the community do not want to be filmed. Many of them do not believe in it, the Hasidic community has fostered these feelings against outsiders for a very long time, and with good reason. After all, these feelings are a result of the Holocaust, that's a perfectly logical reason not to trust other people. The problem with the logic of this community is that they use tools to keep people from leaving it, the law helps them do these things as well. I suppose I will have to explain.

One of Us follows three subjects who are in various stages of leaving Hasidic Judaism, all of whom are fully committed to what they intend to do or have already done. Ari Hershkowitz is the youngest, and admittedly the least interesting subject as well. He grew to leave this community for many reasons, chiefly among them childhood sexual abuse and the way in which this community attempts to control the thoughts of children and the environment they grow up in. Ari is a young man who came to feel this way because of the internet, which was banned for use in this community, but when someone wants to do something, they're going to do it anyway. Luzer Twersky is an actor who left the Hasidic community many years before. He had questions that could not be answered, he wanted to be free. The secular world is something he'd always wanted to live in. When he turned 18, as is customary, he was obligated to find a wife and create his own household. He had two children with his wife, but he has moved on and not seen them in years. This is the way the world works. Etty Ausch is a woman who was forced to marry at 18 years old, this has had a much greater impact on her than it did on Luzer. She was forced to have seven children even though she did not love her abusive husband. Now that she wants a divorce and has an order of protection against him, the Hasidic community is bonding together in an attempt to deny her custody of her seven children. From what we know about Luzer, this will surely succeed.

The reason the mother is not allowed to retain custody of the children even though they lived in a religiously oppressive marriage, is explained in this documentary as being due to status quo laws taking effect in custody. The mother of the children wanting to leave the religious lifestyle her children were also engaging in, is a change in the status quo of their lives. Hasidic children have to go to religious school, there are standards in their life that must be upheld regardless of whether or not these things should be allowed. This is a country that believes in religious freedom to a fault, this is one of those faults. When a married person wants a divorce and they want to leave their oppressive community, the law works against them and forces them to abandon their children. This is why Luzer did so without a fight, there was no point to attempting to take the children with him. It is not possible. The point of all these restrictions is in order to ensure that people do not leave this community, that's the point of all this. The documentary tackles that as best as is humanly possible. The part where Etty is explaining to her support group the situation with how she has to leave her children in order to end this fight and at least ensure some modicum of visiting time (one supervised hour a week) makes for devastating viewing. I could hardly watch this part.

One of Us is unable to give a balanced viewpoint because the other viewpoint would not get in front of the camera, so the viewer is obligated to take these things at face value. Fortunately, I have no reason to doubt a single thing that was said in this entire documentary. The directors shot 300 hours of footage and made their decision on what to include, what could easily be found if fact checking, and this is all very well done. The question I would ask anyone questionining whether or not this is true, is why you would doubt this story in the first place? This is a rather haunting description of religious oppression, it should bother everyone that this is taking place. The problem with questioning it, as the directors describe it, is that the Holocaust will come up rather quickly in conversation. It comes up during this film and Luzer gives what he thinks is the reason for the entire system of ostracization and why these children are born into the world for this purpose. This is also not the director's first attempt at making a movie about religious people who take things too far. They also directed Jesus Camp, which I have not yet seen. I thought it was very interesting how the directors decided not to show Etty's face until 42 minutes into the film, I would like to know why they did this.

I think everyone would like to see a documentary where the religious people give their reasoning for these ideals and their systems, but I don't think we're going to get that. If one exists, I would like to know. There is a section of this movie where a rabbi is giving a speech about the ills of the modern world. That is as close as we're going to get I'm afraid. I did find there to be one huge flaw in One of Us though, one that knocks the film down a fair bit. For whatever reason, the directors decided to ignore the part where Etty had decided to come out as a lesbian. While this would have made no impact whatsoever on the child court case, it seems as if Etty was very mad about this and with good reason. I don't like the idea of making a documentary where a person can decide to leave such an important piece of knowledge out of the film. It helps further explain her impetus to leave the community. I think it's also a bit ironic to make a film about people leaving an extremely oppressive community only for aspects of their journey to be removed. That doesn't really sit right with me. I have also read that this was Netflix's decision and not that of the directors. Why? Who the hell knows. The fact is that we learn a lot about why these insular communities thrive and are successful when it just doesn't make any sense in the first place, and for that reason alone One of Us is worthwhile.

7.5/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline cobainwasmurdered

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Re: In Which I Review Movies 2019
« Reply #151 on: May 27, 2019, 11:58:36 PM »
I haven't been commenting on these in the thread since we talk about them in chat usually but I try to read most of them even when I don't say anything. Keep it up!

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies 2019
« Reply #152 on: May 28, 2019, 06:43:04 PM »


The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017), directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

I put off watching this last Lanthimos English-language movie in hopes there would be another announced by the time I wrote this review, but none has yet initially been announced. There are rumors that Lanthimos is working on adapting a Western book, to which I say I cannot imagine how exactly that would work. I also can't wait to see how it works if that's what happens. One thing I noticed in the aftermath of The Favourite was that some people were comparing him to Stanley Kubrick. I will admit that I did not see that when I was in the theater, but now that I am aware of the comparison I should probably give The Favourite another look. Even after seeing The Killing of a Sacred Deer, I think The Favourite is probably Lanthimos' best work, but I now do see the comparison to Mr. Kubrick. The Killing of a Sacred Deer is a fever dream of sorts, the way in which this is filmed is incredible. The feeling is that this is something that would have been made in the 1970s, except for the fact that we know it isn't. The Killing of a Sacred Deer is a disturbing piece of work, one that made me cringe to the maximum, which made me feel as uncomfortable as I think I could feel. The problem with a devilish story like this is that the viewer is also unable to look away. In not looking away, in not wanting to turn this off because you want to know what happens, it is a tacit admission that you really enjoy something like this. Oh yes, if you watched this and finished it you enjoyed the film even if you can't admit it. And it's dark. It's so dark.

Steven (Colin Farrell) is a man who works as a cardiac surgeon, this is his specialty and he is very good at it. He finishes an open heart surgery as this film begins, it is a very gruesome scene that sends a person straight into the deep end. Once he's done, he goes to a diner and meets a teenage boy, Martin (Barry Keoghan). The way in which this story is told, if you don't know the premise and you're flying completely blind, you may think that Steven is a pervert. The thought certainly crossed my mind because I wasn't understanding this as it played out. Lanthimos does not give anything away. After this meeting, Steven returns home to his wife Anna (Nicole Kidman) and their children, Kim (Raffey Cassidy) and Bob (Sunny Suljic). Kim and Bob have kid issues, Bob needs a haircut and is a bit of a wild child, and as Steven tells his friend, Kim has had her first period. This is information that seems unimportant, but it seemingly explains some of the things that follow. Or it fucking doesn't. You can make of it whatever you want. Steven and Anna have a strange sex life, I don't know what to make of that either, but they seem happy enough. Eventually, things are made clear and Anna is told by Steven that Martin's father died in a car accident some years before, that Martin's father was a patient of his, and that Martin is going to come over for dinner. Much less nefarious than I thought. Or is it?

When Martin comes over for dinner, the scenes without Steven in them, as well as some of the ones Steven takes part of, make clear this kid is a creepy fuck. He is interested in Kim even though he's 16 and she just had her first period, he's fascinated with body hair and his lack of it, and most importantly he just won't leave Steven alone and that's how things got to this point in the first place. Martin contacts Steven the very next day, he suggests that they go to Martin's mothers house for dinner. Steven wants to leave, but Martin insists that they watch Groundhog Day. During the film, Martin heads upstairs because he's tired, leaving Steven with his mom (Alicia Silverstone). His mom instantly tries to make a move on Steven, but Steven is happy at home and that's not going to happen. So, he leaves. In the meantime, Martin is attempting to become close to Kim, while Steven is entirely ignoring his phone calls. Steven is just done with this guy. One morning, Bob can no longer feel his legs. He is paralyzed. When they go to the hospital things are alright, but when it's time to leave, he falls down again and he's done. Can't move anymore. The next day, Martin is finally able to get some time with Steven, and he breaks the situation down for him. When Steven killed his dad on the operating table, he fucked up. Doesn't matter how this happened, but there is balance required because Steven destroyed his family. Steven must kill one of his own family members. They will all get sick in a four stage process, they will lose their ability to walk, then they won't be able to eat, then they will bleed from their eyes, and shortly after that they will die. Better make a decision fast, but does Steven believe this?

The Killing of a Sacred Deer is exquisitely crafted as a Lanthimos film should be, I shouldn't have been this surprised but my jaw dropped at some of the shots here. What I was left thinking as this film was going on was that that this is one of the most underrated films I have ever watched. I do not understand what people were missing when they watched this. Is the concept too morbid? Arguably, but the concept is also unique and this is an amazing revenge film. But how can anyone not see the filmmaking talent that goes into creating a unique story like this? The performances are off the charts, with Keoghan leading the way. I thought his role was totally ridiculous, yet all of it works without exception. The absurdity of the scenario, the way in which every little thing is framed, you just don't see stuff like that. The score is excellent as well, I have a hard time believing everything that was in this. Nothing is out of place, the mere limitation on the film is how good the concept can be. That's how a film should be, the stuff in this film isn't quite beyond compare but it's about as good as a film can be with the morbid restrictions that are placed on the concept. Finding out every little detail has emotional weight of some kind, I couldn't help but react to everything here.

When a film leaves me engaged like this, as I said before, that's what it required for me to unequivocally say that I thought something was a great film. You just have to watch this to see what I'm talking about. The film feels like something Kubrick made, where even if you don't like the content, the level of control and commitment given to every single scene is something that everyone would appreciate. The decision itself, you know it's coming, and once it does, as a viewer I was entirely ready to see how it would play out. I so badly don't want to spoil The Killing of a Sacred Deer at all, I've done my absolute best here not to do so. The problem is that I don't think people are going to watch this film or that it even has much of a streaming life. Once The Killing of a Sacred Deer gets to Netflix, which it will, we'll see. That Netflix exposure brings light to all kinds of subjects. I do think The Favourite is barely a better film than this, but again, I'm now curious to find out if that film carries the same kind of Kubrick feel. The Killing of a Sacred Deer is so much morbid than I thought, I was a bit surprised by the Metascore and that's why I saved it for so long, but this was STRAIGHT UP MY FUCKING ALLEY. INJECT ALL OF THIS INTO MY VEINS.

There are also some thematic things that I could discuss, but I'm often a bit out of my depth when I try to do so. I think in that sense, the point is that one's actions can come back to haunt them and that the universe does require some level of balance. Perhaps that is the director's take on things, but I would need to listen to a commentary in order to be sure. I also thought that Martin was one of the strangest characters I've ever seen in a film, one of the characters I will absolutely never forget for the rest of my life. A film does not often leave those marks. One might think this is a film that's too morbid, but the way that very famous actors lean into the material assuages those concerns from my perspective.

9/10

2019 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   Darkest Hour
24.   A Ghost Story
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   It
28.   Battle of the Sexes
29.   Brad's Status
30.   Okja
31.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
32.   Kong: Skull Island
33.   It Comes at Night
34.   Crown Heights
35.   Split
36.   1922
37.   Personal Shopper
38.   Landline
39.   Beatriz at Dinner
40.   Chuck
41.   Atomic Blonde
42.   Shot Caller
43.   Wheelman
44.   The Lego Batman Movie
45.   Megan Leavey
46.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
47.   Marshall
48.   Menashe
49.   Walking Out
50.   American Made
51.   Beauty and the Beast
52.   Imperial Dreams
53.   Gifted
54.   Murder on the Orient Express
55.   The Zookeeper's Wife
56.   The Glass Castle
57.   Free Fire
58.   Win It All
59.   The Wall
60.   Life
61.   My Cousin Rachel
62.   Breathe
63.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
64.   Maudie
65.   Sleight
66.   Alone in Berlin
67.   A United Kingdom
68.   Trespass Against Us
69.   The Mountain Between Us
70.   War Machine
71.   Happy Death Day
72.   Lowriders
73.   Justice League
74.   To the Bone
75.   Ghost in the Shell
76.   Wakefield
77.   Bright
78.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
79.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
80.   The Mummy
81.   The Greatest Showman
82.   Rough Night
83.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
84.   Sand Castle
85.   The Circle
86.   CHiPs
87.   Death Note
88.   The Belko Experiment
89.   The Great Wall
90.   Fist Fight
91.   Baywatch
92.   Snatched
93.   Wilson
94.   Queen of the Desert
95.   The House
96.   Sleepless
97.   All Eyez on Me
98.   The Book of Henry
99.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies 2019
« Reply #153 on: May 29, 2019, 06:27:46 PM »


The Dark Tower (2017), directed by Nikolaj Arcel

Quick admission here, I have not read any of the Dark Tower books, I've hardly read any Stephen King, so I do not know what to expect here. I do, however, know exactly what The Dark Tower gave to me and I know that I did not like it. The Dark Tower is a project that kicked around Hollywood for absolute ages, apparently with good reason. It is clear that this could not be adapted as a film because it is too difficult to understand, because a film isn't where a story like this should be told. This story belongs on television where there is room for grand exposition, where I will not be bored to tears as I was when I was watching this. I must reiterate that I have never been more bored watching anything that I have reviewed. I am trying, and failing to come up with a way to summarize this film as I usually do. The way I guess I'm going to put things is this. The Dark Tower is a film that reminded me of bad science-fiction in the way that the sets all felt so low rent. The plot is completely incomprehensible to a point where I didn't understand what I was watching, and I paid attention to everything and hit the rewind button if I thought I needed to. You know how bad a movie has to be where I don't understand the plot and can't be bothered to look any of the details up? This is a big problem. The movie is shit.

The Dark Tower starts off with a camp full of children in a land that clearly isn't Earth. There are weird looking people strapping them into machines, which are overseen by Walter (Matthew McConaughey), the Man in Black. A girl subsequently sends a blast towards a tower, and I don't understand a fucking thing that I've just watched, but apparently this was a dream. The dreamer is Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor), who is 11 years old and takes up far too much of the film, ruining it with his presence alone. He experiences visions of a Man in Black who is seeking to destroy a tower and destroy the universe as a result, but he is opposed by a Gunslinger. I do not understand very much of this at all because it is never explained properly, and the things that are explained are nowhere near as important as the fundamental driving point of the film. The dream takes place in the middle of an earthquake in New York City, which is where Jake lives with his mother Laurie (Kathryn Winnick) and stepfather Lon (Nicholas Pauling). Lon and Jake seem to hate each other. Jake has to see psychologists because of these dreams, which are said to be related to his father's death. They are not, obviously. Jake has another dream of Mid-World, this one being of the Gunslinger, Roland (Idris Elba). Roland is with his father Steven (Dennis Haysbert), but they are attacked by Walter and Steven is killed by him. Roland, for some reason, is immune to Walter's magic and he can escape.

The dreams continue, of course, because there's not much of a film without those dreams and they're used in place of giving us a cohesive plot. Jake dreams of an abandoned house and finds a picture of it, which leads him to ask on an online forum if anyone knows of the place. Someone does. At the same time as he learns someone does, Lon has planned to send Jake to the mental hospital. Jake sees that there's a scar on someone's neck, which means they are using fake skin in order to cover up whatever kind of creature it is they are, so he asks to use the restroom. When he does that, he bails out the window, and it's off to Brooklyn where this house is. At this house there's a portal to Mid-World, and Jake hops in not knowing where it leads. Jake walks through the desert and eventually encounters Roland, who thinks Jake is working for Walter. The film is a complete mess and there's no context given to why any of this would be the case. In any case, eventually Roland calms down and is able to explain the situation to Jake. Walter is trying to use kids with "shine", which is a special power that allows them to see into someone's past (I guess?), in order for them to destroy the Dark Tower. If Walter brings it down, as Roland said, monsters will be able to come into Mid-World and Earth. Roland and Jake can't let that happen.

I know that a lot of people say the book series is great, that the source material is too good to give this treatment to, but I'm never going to read the books. What I do know is that a book series cannot possibly be this incomprehensible. It took until 30 minutes in for me to even have a modicum of understanding what The Dark Tower was about on any level whatsoever, but I still don't understand the purpose of the tower or the purposes of Roland and Walter. When a person doesn't understand a movie like this one, when there isn't action to suffice in the absence of understanding, I'm left with one emotion. The Dark Tower is a fucking boring film. This is a fantasy movie that lacks fantasy in the filmmaking, everything in this is so bland. There is no reason that a movie with Idris Elba as a Western hero should ever have these kinds of problems. The film simply lacks in far too many things for me to find this acceptable at all. I'm not going to go through all of them because I'm bored. The plot is lame and the dialogue really sucks outside of one of McConaughey's scenes with chicken. I'm sure you know the one if you've seen this. The inability for the film to have lengthy exposition is a problem, but the movie is also so short. I don't think this would have been good with more exposition, but it would have been better, and I strongly question someone's filmmaking ability when they make a 90 minute film that needs more exposition in order for an audience to understand it. That sentence is illogical in every way.

The problem with making a film like this one where a person decides to distill a book series into one movie, is that I don't understand what the gunslingers are or any of that shit, so it just doesn't work. I don't understand who the audience for this film was. Anyone who read the books wouldn't like this, people who don't know about the books like myself are lost completely. I guess this is why the project kicked around Hollywood for so long, there was no way to produce this in a way that would make people happy. Is that true though? You could try to work this into a film series, but even then, that feels like a bastardization of what are rather long books in some cases, not too long in other cases. I bet Stephen King drives people nuts with how he releases these too. We have a series going since the 80s which is not yet complete, I already know how people feel about that from George R.R. Martin. Maybe people are different though. I don't know what the TV series on Amazon will consist of, but I have seen that they've done some initial casting and I intend to check it out. That's probably the best way to dive into something like this without reading the books, which I will repeat, I do not intend to ever do that. Anything would be better than this weak attempt at a film though. It's tough figuring out where I want to rank this because I've already watched so much junk from 2017. This is the 100th thing listed, and I chose The Dark Tower tonight for that specific reason. I knew it wasn't going to be good but I didn't expect it would be like watching paint dry.

3/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   Darkest Hour
24.   A Ghost Story
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   It
28.   Battle of the Sexes
29.   Brad's Status
30.   Okja
31.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
32.   Kong: Skull Island
33.   It Comes at Night
34.   Crown Heights
35.   Split
36.   1922
37.   Personal Shopper
38.   Landline
39.   Beatriz at Dinner
40.   Chuck
41.   Atomic Blonde
42.   Shot Caller
43.   Wheelman
44.   The Lego Batman Movie
45.   Megan Leavey
46.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
47.   Marshall
48.   Menashe
49.   Walking Out
50.   American Made
51.   Beauty and the Beast
52.   Imperial Dreams
53.   Gifted
54.   Murder on the Orient Express
55.   The Zookeeper's Wife
56.   The Glass Castle
57.   Free Fire
58.   Win It All
59.   The Wall
60.   Life
61.   My Cousin Rachel
62.   Breathe
63.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
64.   Maudie
65.   Sleight
66.   Alone in Berlin
67.   A United Kingdom
68.   Trespass Against Us
69.   The Mountain Between Us
70.   War Machine
71.   Happy Death Day
72.   Lowriders
73.   Justice League
74.   To the Bone
75.   Ghost in the Shell
76.   Wakefield
77.   Bright
78.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
79.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
80.   The Mummy
81.   The Greatest Showman
82.   Rough Night
83.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
84.   Sand Castle
85.   The Circle
86.   CHiPs
87.   Death Note
88.   The Belko Experiment
89.   The Great Wall
90.   Fist Fight
91.   Baywatch
92.   Snatched
93.   Wilson
94.   The Dark Tower
95.   Queen of the Desert
96.   The House
97.   Sleepless
98.   All Eyez on Me
99.   The Book of Henry
100.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #154 on: May 30, 2019, 06:17:52 PM »


American Assassin (2017), directed by Michael Cuesta

I remember seeing the commercials for American Assassin on television. I think I know what the people who went to see this in theaters were thinking. "HELL YEAH, IT'S TIME TO GIVE THOSE ARABS WHAT THEY DESERVE," or some variation of that over and over again. If one really gets enjoyment out of cliched anti-Arab films, this one is for them, but it's even more the case if they really enjoy anti-Iranian films. Iran is all the buzz now, of course our current dumbshit is being cajoled into going to war with them because very powerful people want to sell more weapons, and seeing this in a film is a little bit of a problem to me. At least the filmmaker did the right thing and the terrorist was the white guy who wanted the bomb for himself, but that's the most minor "at least" I could ever give as it comes to a film like this one. The reality of things is that this is the kind of trash that Hollywood used to make in the 1980's, with the exception of a few inspired scenes that also reminded me of something made in the 1980's. I should make clear that this is not much of a compliment. I should also make clear that Michael Keaton is not the main character here. American Assassin would be an average film at best if he was, but instead a younger actor takes his place. That younger actor is not that great, but the script just destroys any chance he has to give the character depth beyond the few lines he receives and repeats over and over.

Mitch Rapp (Dylan O'Brien) is a guy on vacation with his girlfriend Katrina (Charlotte Vega) in Ibiza. Great place to vacation, that's for sure. The vacation is because Mitch has the intention of proposing to her, which he does and she accepts. Moments later, terrorists arrive on the beach, you can guess that they're Arab, and they start shooting up people with assault rifles. Eventually they get around to killing Katrina, Mitch is wounded a few times, and it's time for our story to move forward. About a year or so later, Mitch has decided to learn Arabic and starts training in kickboxing, wrestling, Brazilian ju-jitsu, learns how to use assault rifles. It obviously is not because he wants to join a terrorist cell. He goes on a message board and makes comments about wanting to join in jihad, leading to a chat with a real terrorist. He is quizzed on history facts important to that specific terrorist, which leads to Mitch taking a trip to Libya. Mitch has the intention of killing all these guys, but he cannot because he has been tracked by the CIA. The Special Forces kill everyone in the room besides him, and he is carted off to Langley for a 30 day debriefing. Oh yeah, he stabbed the terrorist who killed his girlfriend when the guy was dead. Many times.

During the debriefing, Mitch is offered a chance to become legitimate. The logic that the deputy director Irene Kennedy (Sanaa Lathan) uses is totally backwards and idiotic, she theorizes that he doesn't have to be unwound from any time in the military and won't have to get over his bad habits because he shouldn't have any. He doesn't have any bad habits? I think infiltrating a terror cell with no help and no real plan is a pretty fucking bad habit. Irene then decies to send Mitch off to a black ops unit called Orion, which is led by Stan Hurley (Michael Keaton). Stan's goal is to teach Mitch and other recruits about unconventional warfare, including hand to hand combat, how to assess risk and targets in a specific area, who they should shoot and who they shouldn't. Of course, the main thing is, this job is not personal. Same shit you see in basically every other movie. The difference between this and most other films of this kind is that the training scenes are actually good. For the first time in the film I felt engaged. The problem Orion is facing relates to a man named Ghost (Taylor Kitsch), who Stan trained and he decides to keep that fact from Mitch because it isn't important to the mission. I can't believe some of these sentences I'm writing. Orion needs to find out why Ghost is trying to sell weapons grade plutonium to Iranians, so it's off to Turkey where the Americans have an agent on the ground already, Annika (Shiva Negar).

I cut myself off at the end of the last paragraph, because fuck it. Like, really. Just fuck it. American Assassin is a bad film, not the worst I've watched recently, but pretty bad. Everything here is so cliched and so boring with the exception of a few things, which I should address from the top. The training scenes, as I already stated, are fun. There is a torture scene that I thought was acted out in a way that I had a hard time not laughing because of it. I will spoil this film because I don't think anyone cares, but the nuclear weapon does go off and this leads to a ridiculous scenario where aircraft carriers are not capsized by an absolutely enormous wave. Maybe that happens in reality and maybe it doesn't, but it was hilarious. The last thing I was expecting from a cliche fest like American Assassin was for the bomb to go off. This is particularly disappointing because Michael Cuesta has a decent track record directing good TV shows and Kill the Messenger, but that seems to not matter at all. The film is shot on location in Rome and takes absolutely no advantage of that. Most everything is indoors, and that's just how it is. I don't understand why someone would make a film in another country and do this when they were allowed to film in that country, but there you have it.

I explained clearly how the film was so full of cliches, and that was my main problem with it. American Assassin is also extremely violent, but that's strange because this feels like it's supposed to be a character study of Mitch, except for the times when it isn't. The tonal inconsistency of this film drives me nuts. The fact is that the film is also about the wrong assassin, I don't think anyone would have wanted this. The story is adapted from a book series, which is just laughable and yet another example that not all books work on screen. The trainee is more interesting on paper than they are in reality. I also think that, beyond the criticisms of the film that I've already had, that these films are made for a bigoted audience that I don't want to be part of. Yes, I watched the movie, I did not pay for it and I did not enjoy it. I am not part of the target audience. The last year or so has been a lot better about not making these bigoted, boring movies. I guess that's the real sin for some people, isn't it? The latent bigotry in the story is a problem because this is not a true story and it's something that a person made up. It's also a problem because the movie is really fucking boring. This just wasn't for me at all, and the lead was too boring to make things click on any level. I did like some of the scenes that related to character growth and not trying to track down these caricatures of terrorists.

4/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   Darkest Hour
24.   A Ghost Story
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   It
28.   Battle of the Sexes
29.   Brad's Status
30.   Okja
31.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
32.   Kong: Skull Island
33.   It Comes at Night
34.   Crown Heights
35.   Split
36.   1922
37.   Personal Shopper
38.   Landline
39.   Beatriz at Dinner
40.   Chuck
41.   Atomic Blonde
42.   Shot Caller
43.   Wheelman
44.   The Lego Batman Movie
45.   Megan Leavey
46.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
47.   Marshall
48.   Menashe
49.   Walking Out
50.   American Made
51.   Beauty and the Beast
52.   Imperial Dreams
53.   Gifted
54.   Murder on the Orient Express
55.   The Zookeeper's Wife
56.   The Glass Castle
57.   Free Fire
58.   Win It All
59.   The Wall
60.   Life
61.   My Cousin Rachel
62.   Breathe
63.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
64.   Maudie
65.   Sleight
66.   Alone in Berlin
67.   A United Kingdom
68.   Trespass Against Us
69.   The Mountain Between Us
70.   War Machine
71.   Happy Death Day
72.   Lowriders
73.   Justice League
74.   To the Bone
75.   Ghost in the Shell
76.   Wakefield
77.   Bright
78.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
79.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
80.   The Mummy
81.   The Greatest Showman
82.   Rough Night
83.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
84.   Sand Castle
85.   The Circle
86.   American Assassin
87.   CHiPs
88.   Death Note
89.   The Belko Experiment
90.   The Great Wall
91.   Fist Fight
92.   Baywatch
93.   Snatched
94.   Wilson
95.   The Dark Tower
96.   Queen of the Desert
97.   The House
98.   Sleepless
99.   All Eyez on Me
100.   The Book of Henry
101.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #155 on: June 01, 2019, 05:51:59 PM »


Annabelle: Creation (2017), directed by David F. Sandberg

Once I see the third Annabelle film later this month, that will be the last of these Conjuring franchise films that I watch for some time. The most frustrating thing about these movies is that only one of them was particularly good, that being the first one. It's strange that there have been so many of these yet I can clearly say which was the second best of these films, and it was this one right here. I don't know how to bring myself to write a full review tonight because I don't have the attention span, so I'm not. I just don't have it in me tonight. I'm simply going to tell you that after watching so many of these, this one was alright. The director is clearly more talented than most of the jabronis who direct these, so he has that going for him. The film also makes up for the horrible first Annabelle movie.

6.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   Darkest Hour
24.   A Ghost Story
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   It
28.   Battle of the Sexes
29.   Brad's Status
30.   Okja
31.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
32.   Kong: Skull Island
33.   It Comes at Night
34.   Crown Heights
35.   Split
36.   1922
37.   Personal Shopper
38.   Landline
39.   Beatriz at Dinner
40.   Chuck
41.   Atomic Blonde
42.   Shot Caller
43.   Wheelman
44.   The Lego Batman Movie
45.   Megan Leavey
46.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
47.   Marshall
48.   Menashe
49.   Walking Out
50.   American Made
51.   Annabelle: Creation
52.   Beauty and the Beast
53.   Imperial Dreams
54.   Gifted
55.   Murder on the Orient Express
56.   The Zookeeper's Wife
57.   The Glass Castle
58.   Free Fire
59.   Win It All
60.   The Wall
61.   Life
62.   My Cousin Rachel
63.   Breathe
64.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
65.   Maudie
66.   Sleight
67.   Alone in Berlin
68.   A United Kingdom
69.   Trespass Against Us
70.   The Mountain Between Us
71.   War Machine
72.   Happy Death Day
73.   Lowriders
74.   Justice League
75.   To the Bone
76.   Ghost in the Shell
77.   Wakefield
78.   Bright
79.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
80.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
81.   The Mummy
82.   The Greatest Showman
83.   Rough Night
84.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
85.   Sand Castle
86.   The Circle
87.   American Assassin
88.   CHiPs
89.   Death Note
90.   The Belko Experiment
91.   The Great Wall
92.   Fist Fight
93.   Baywatch
94.   Snatched
95.   Wilson
96.   The Dark Tower
97.   Queen of the Desert
98.   The House
99.   Sleepless
100.   All Eyez on Me
101.   The Book of Henry
102.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #156 on: June 03, 2019, 05:56:30 PM »


Sweet Virginia (2017), directed by Jamie Dagg

Sweet Virginia is the kind of name a person gives to a film when they have no idea what to call their film. That's just how it feels anyway. I tried to watch this last night, but my internet was cutting out on me and as a result I could not, but at least I hadn't really gotten started. I absolutely hate watching any parts of films over again in a short span, and I hate it even more when I have to break up the viewing of a film into two days. That's why I never do it. I was a little busy tonight so I decided to restart with Sweet Virginia as it was rather short and I only got a minute or two into things the first time. The first two minutes of the film give one absolutely no idea what this is going to be, but the poster features someone with a gun in hand and that's always going to be good enough for me. There's only been a few films like this to come out in 2019, so I'm by no means burned out on this sort of thing. What is it actually? You'll have to keep reading to find out. Sweet Virginia is quite an interesting film in that it follows a character who is truly detestable and disturbed, but surprisingly this is a character who does not do disturbing things to the extent that other characters have done in assorted films. I recommend watching this because I bet most people haven't heard of it, but I'm trying not to give that much away.

Sweet Virginia kicks off with three men in a bar playing poker, doing the things that men just happen to do. Tom, Mitchell, and Lou are at Lou's bar, and a man we learn later is named Elwood (Christopher Abbott) asks to be served. The bar is closed, he does not like hearing that. Eventually Elwood calls Mitchell out by name, then gets up and goes to get his gun. Not good news there. He comes back and kills all three of them before robbing the place, so in the end this looks like a robbery gone awry. We snap forward to the next day with Sam (Jon Bernthal) dreaming about being a bull rider. Sam runs a motel called Sweet Virginia's, which explains the name, but beyond that he's obviously from Virginia. He's made his way to Alaska as a form of escapism from something, but in truth it could be many things. There's a picture of a woman and child in his room, and he has physical problems from injuries that he got while doing the rodeo. His right arm doesn't work and he limps when walking, so those days are long gone. There's a bit of a rhythm to this film where everything has purpose, and he starts off his day by responding to a disturbance in room 128. This does not go that well for him and he's told to fuck off. At the motel, there's Maggie (Odessa Young), who obviously is supposed to remind him of his daughter. He watches over her because her dad is a piece of shit, such is life.

Anyway, after we're introduced to these things, Tom's wife Bernadette (Rosemarie DeWitt) is having a gathering at her house for her now dead husband. Lila (Imogen Poots) was Mitchell's wife, and she's there talking to her about stuff. Bernadette is being very, very loose with her words and not paying much attention to any of the information that she's putting out there, but I guess there's some level of trust between the two. Sam arrives at the gathering, and Bernadette asks him if she can come by, which lets us know that they had been having an affair of some kind. Sam tells her no, but in the end, those wishes do not matter. There's much more to the story going on here, but all Bernadette can talk about is her husband and Sam seems to be feeling bad about this whole situation. The realization that you might be a bad person doing bad things comes on you quick. At the same time as this is going on, Lila is doing some bad things of her own. You know how her husband died and shit? We are shown a scene of Lila meeting Elwood and asking him why he killed Tom and Lou instead of just killing Mitchell. Elwood doesn't really give a fuck, but it's time for him to get paid. He wants $50,000 as they'd agreed, and if he doesn't get it, some really bad shit is going to happen.

Of course, when a movie has a threat like that, some bad shit is going to happen. Chekhov's Gun is a thing when it comes to films like these, or at least it should be. There are no questions and everything here is answered except one thing. There's a part where Bernadette has a dream where her husband comes home beaten up, but I doubt Sam is capable of doing that, so I'm curious to know if that was merely a figment of her imagination and guilt. I'm sure nobody will answer that question because I'm sure nobody knows the answer to it and this was a small film in the first place. Every other little piece of information is important though. When these people come into contact with each other, it is interesting to find out what will happen next. This is the kind of slow-burn film that's right up my alley. Christopher Abbott's performance here is quite strong, these scenes when he's talking to himself are a great picture of how mental problems can lead to someone becoming so violent. Maybe he was violent all along, but that's not the kind of information the film gives out without it meaning something, therefore it is not here. This question is one of the film's negatives, but I think the answer is that people do not just decide to become hitmen. There's a buildup to that, but I don't know how common real hitmen actually are. Doesn't matter to me, his performance here is good.

It's also strange to see Jon Bernthal as a lead actor when almost everything else he's in is a part that doesn't last particularly long. Some of them are memorable, like Baby Driver or Wind River, and stuff like Rampart is not. I am hoping that Ford v. Ferrari is like this, a larger part that I am not expecting. What if I tell you that he's playing Johnny Boy Soprano and nobody's talking about it yet, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT BECAUSE YOU BETTER. Talk about something I can't wait for, that's a project that I absolutely need to see and need to be good. I have to get around to watching the Marvel stuff on Netflix as well. Overall, obviously I do very much like this quite minimalistic movie. It's up to each individual viewer to decide whether they can handle how slow this is, and I assure people that it really is quite slow. There are some great twists here, most of which come out of nowhere. The ones that are more predictable are rather good too. The small town gives Sweet Virginia the feeling of being a Western where the people in the town all know each other, but the focus is on such a very small amount of people. I really wish there was a little more to this, and because there wasn't that's what keeps this from being a great film.

7.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   A Ghost Story
24.   Darkest Hour
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   Sweet Virginia
28.   It
29.   Battle of the Sexes
30.   Brad's Status
31.   Okja
32.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
33.   Kong: Skull Island
34.   It Comes at Night
35.   Crown Heights
36.   Split
37.   1922
38.   Personal Shopper
39.   Landline
40.   Beatriz at Dinner
41.   Chuck
42.   Atomic Blonde
43.   Shot Caller
44.   Wheelman
45.   The Lego Batman Movie
46.   Megan Leavey
47.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
48.   Marshall
49.   Menashe
50.   Walking Out
51.   American Made
52.   Annabelle: Creation
53.   Beauty and the Beast
54.   Imperial Dreams
55.   Gifted
56.   Murder on the Orient Express
57.   The Zookeeper's Wife
58.   The Glass Castle
59.   Free Fire
60.   Win It All
61.   The Wall
62.   Life
63.   My Cousin Rachel
64.   Breathe
65.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
66.   Maudie
67.   Sleight
68.   Alone in Berlin
69.   A United Kingdom
70.   Trespass Against Us
71.   The Mountain Between Us
72.   War Machine
73.   Happy Death Day
74.   Lowriders
75.   Justice League
76.   To the Bone
77.   Ghost in the Shell
78.   Wakefield
79.   Bright
80.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
81.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
82.   The Mummy
83.   The Greatest Showman
84.   Rough Night
85.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
86.   Sand Castle
87.   The Circle
88.   American Assassin
89.   CHiPs
90.   Death Note
91.   The Belko Experiment
92.   The Great Wall
93.   Fist Fight
94.   Baywatch
95.   Snatched
96.   Wilson
97.   The Dark Tower
98.   Queen of the Desert
99.   The House
100.   Sleepless
101.   All Eyez on Me
102.   The Book of Henry
103.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #157 on: June 05, 2019, 06:37:53 PM »


Flatliners (2017), directed by Niels Arden Oplev

I didn't bother to watch the original version of Flatliners, and to be truthful after watching the remake I do not see the point. The original is a film without great reviews but it's one that has a more high powered cast whereas this remake has very little punch at all, and it also has far worse previews. I knew that before, but one of the reasons I was watching this is because I was specifically asked to so I could tell someone whether or not this was any good. The answer is that it was not, but the answer they are going to receive is that Flatliners was a good film that is well worth their time. That's the best thing I could ever tell someone after they forced me to sit through such an enormous pile of garbage. This isn't the worst film of 2017, but it's pretty close and in an elite category few could hope to reach. I would never watch this again for the rest of my life, no matter what. There are other bad films that I cannot say the same thing about, which is what makes Flatliners so uniquely awful. From reading Wikipedia, it seems like a lot of the things in the original film were changed, because the events in this one give off the feeling of being far more sanitized. You know how bad it is when a weaksauce psychological horror movie feels sanitized? Just watch this for two hours and you'll see how.

Courtney (Ellen Page) is a medical student in Toronto who is obsessed with what happens when people die or during their near-death experiences. Flatliners begins with her driving her younger sister and getting into a car accident when she gets distracted. When they fall off the bridge, her sister drowns and dies while she lives. The film comes forward nine years to her residency, and we are shown some of how they work with a bit of Kiefer Sutherland sprinkled in as a nod to the original film. Courtney has an idea that she really wants to work on, but first we have to meet her team. The characters are not initially given, but we have Marlo (Nina Dobrev), Ray (Diego Luna), Sophia (Kiersey Clemons), and Jamie (James Norton). These are the young doctors we have been blessed with the ability to get to know, and this is the film that we get. Courtney's idea requires Jamie and Sophia to head down into the basement, which is a setup for something so much worse than this seems to be. Her experiment requires her brain to be recorded while she uses a defibrillator to stop her heart, then she is supposed to be revived after 60 seconds. When Jamie and Sophia object, she tells them they will not be responsible for whatever it is that happens. I know when someone tells me I'm not going to be responsible for killing them, I just go ahead and do it based on that alone.

When they begin the experiment, Courtney has an out of body experience where she floats out onto the roof of the hospital when she'd never been there. The problem is that nobody can revive her and after a minute this could lead to potential brain damage, but there's actually none of that in this film. Eventually Ray is called down there and so does Marlo, and Courtney is revived. That night, she's rather euphoric, and the next day her intelligence has increased massively. Of course, you know what this means for the rest of the film, all of her friends are going to flatline and go through this for themselves. Ray does not do this because he has common sense. Of course, there would be no film if there wasn't a negative effect of doing this, so we continue on from there. The negative effect is that everyone sees visions from their past that are haunting them. Courtney's are obviously of her sister, Marlo has visions of a man she accidentally killed and fudged the autopsy report of, Jamie is bothered by an ex-girlfriend he pressured to get an abortion, and Sophia is haunted by a girl who she decided to spread nude pictures around of to her entire high school. Isn't that child pornography or some shit? That doesn't matter to this film at all, nothing makes sense. The fact is that these hallucinations are going to get far worse, and when the hallucinations manifest themselves in some ways, this is absolute trash.

I don't know how to compare this to the other film so I won't do that again, but Flatliners can basically be distilled into a movie where most of the people (except Courtney) are haunted by bad things they did and didn't feel bad about until they were haunted by them. The production of Flatliners looks absolutely ridiculous on its face, pretty much passing for any television show set in a hospital, and the film can simply not overcome that even when it leaves the hospital. Flatliners looks cheap, the script is cheap and ripped off of something else, and this is why people lacking inspiration should not remake movies from the past. The actors don't bring anything to the table and the most interesting, and rather only sympathetic character is killed off for seemingly no reason. This decision has no emotional impact even though this character is the only one in the film who is motivated by learning something good. The rest of these either don't want to learn anything or are genuinely bad and vain people. In any case, I can't really drone on about this very stupid movie. It's poorly produced, the script is poor, the acting is rather uninspired. Diego Luna and Ellen Page are way above this and shouldn't have been in a project like this one, but I guess the allure of a film someone watched when they were younger was too strong to pass up. Or the money was.

I should also point out that Flatliners was only successful to begin with because the people in it came to be more popular. That's not going to happen with the remake and therefore the point of making it  is completely beyond me.

2.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   A Ghost Story
24.   Darkest Hour
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   Sweet Virginia
28.   It
29.   Battle of the Sexes
30.   Brad's Status
31.   Okja
32.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
33.   Kong: Skull Island
34.   It Comes at Night
35.   Crown Heights
36.   Split
37.   1922
38.   Personal Shopper
39.   Landline
40.   Beatriz at Dinner
41.   Chuck
42.   Atomic Blonde
43.   Shot Caller
44.   Wheelman
45.   The Lego Batman Movie
46.   Megan Leavey
47.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
48.   Marshall
49.   Menashe
50.   Walking Out
51.   American Made
52.   Annabelle: Creation
53.   Beauty and the Beast
54.   Imperial Dreams
55.   Gifted
56.   Murder on the Orient Express
57.   The Zookeeper's Wife
58.   The Glass Castle
59.   Free Fire
60.   Win It All
61.   The Wall
62.   Life
63.   My Cousin Rachel
64.   Breathe
65.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
66.   Maudie
67.   Sleight
68.   Alone in Berlin
69.   A United Kingdom
70.   Trespass Against Us
71.   The Mountain Between Us
72.   War Machine
73.   Happy Death Day
74.   Lowriders
75.   Justice League
76.   To the Bone
77.   Ghost in the Shell
78.   Wakefield
79.   Bright
80.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
81.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
82.   The Mummy
83.   The Greatest Showman
84.   Rough Night
85.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
86.   Sand Castle
87.   The Circle
88.   American Assassin
89.   CHiPs
90.   Death Note
91.   The Belko Experiment
92.   The Great Wall
93.   Fist Fight
94.   Baywatch
95.   Snatched
96.   Wilson
97.   The Dark Tower
98.   Queen of the Desert
99.   The House
100.   Flatliners
101.   Sleepless
102.   All Eyez on Me
103.   The Book of Henry
104.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Harley Quinn

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #158 on: June 05, 2019, 11:13:42 PM »
I haven't been commenting on these in the thread since we talk about them in chat usually but I try to read most of them even when I don't say anything. Keep it up!

Right there with CWM. Also enjoy seeing your takes and how they (sometimes) differ from mine in relation to various movies. Best is seeing you cover stuff I've seen e.g. Disobedience but also covering dreck like Book of Henry that I'll never bother with.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #159 on: June 06, 2019, 06:06:38 PM »


Brigsby Bear (2017), directed by Dave McCary

Have you been waiting for me to get weird? This is one of the most strange and most offbeat films I've watched in a while, but most importantly this is also a film that also achieves its goals in feeling uplifting and sentimental. These kinds of things just aren't made very often anymore. A film like Brigsby Bear has hardly been made at all at any point. The film follows a unique character in a unique situation, doing things that hardly anyone in the real world has ever had any experience with. The concept is great, but pulling it off is rather difficult and the filmmakers do a good job of bringing that concept into reality. Prior to the release of this film, the plot was so guarded that of course there was hardly any interest in the film to begin with, which is rather foolish all things considered. Will Brigsby Bear become a cult film over time? I doubt it, we don't seem to live in that world anymore. I don't watch Saturday Night Live very often anymore, so I'm a little surprised that the people who are part of that were able to give us something like this. That's weird! So, why is there a film made with what can best be described as what looks like a pedo bear? Read on if you really want to know.

Brigsby Bear is a movie with a plot that can best be described as bizarre and rather sad. James (Kyle Mooney) lives in an underground bunker somewhere in Utah with his parents Ted (Mark Hamill) and April (Jane Adams), he is not allowed to go outside. Sometimes Ted leaves with a gas mask on, but the presumption is that the air is toxic and James cannot leave for that reason. Ted also makes clear that the outside world is dangerous beyond that, so things are what they are. James spends his days watching a show called Brigsby Bear, he owns every episode, all the memorabilia, and talks about it on a fan forum. One night he decides to go outside with a mask on and sees multiple police cars coming, which gives up that something's going on here. When the police go into the bunker, we see that Ted and April are arrested while James is not, and as such we can surmise that James was abducted at some point. James is devastated as he believed these were his parents, that there were people talking to him about Brigsby Bear, but this was not true. It was either Ted or April doing so. I should point out that James is so strange that he's only ever seen one girl near his age, she was on the show at some point and it isn't explained how until very much later.

As happens when someone is saved from their abductors, James is brought to the police station where he meets Detective Vogel (Greg Kinnear). Vogel breaks things down for James, saying what I've already said, but he says even more. Brigsby Bear was not a real show and was made by Ted specifically for James, that Ted disappeared in the 80s and was tracked down from the studio he was making this in order to find the bunker. James is then introduced to his real parents Greg (Matt Walsh) and Louise (Michaela Watkins), and it turns out that James has a sister, Aubrey (Ryan Simpkins). It's hardly surprising that everyone thinks James is weird, but James was abducted and never introduced to the outside world. When James is told about things in the real world, all he can talk about is Brigsby Bear. That's just the way things are. One night, Aubrey decides to break that pattern by taking James to a party, where he meets Spencer (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.). James starts talking about Brigsby Bear, and surprisingly the other people are interested, which leads him to feel he has something he really needs to do. What is it? The Brigsby Bear series has not been completed due to Ted and April's arrest. James wants to complete it with a movie, and Spencer is going to advertise it by uploading episodes of the show to YouTube so more people can watch them.

The viral aspect of other people viewing these videos is completely ridiculous, but I think that was the point. Due to how old the lead character is, the film is even more bizarre because we're seeing someone actively enjoy something like Teddy Ruxpin. It is all completely sincere, and because of that the film has meaning and purpose. In not playing anything for laughs, even though I don't think this is a great film, it feels quite authentic. The concept on its face is totally ridiculous, but the execution of it just doesn't feel that way. The lead performance is quite strong and I'm surprised someone was able to deliver these lines at any point without breaking, this is quite an accomplishment. The film is also well cast, and it doesn't overstay its welcome by kicking around for too long. It's short, sweet, and to the point. I think there's some interesting commentary on what happens to people who become all too obsessed with things that exist solely in their bubble, but I am not the person to wax poetically about that. The obsession in this case was placed in by his abductors to keep him from realizing the reality that he was trapped, and that leads to a very uneasy feeling for the audience should you be unable to ignore that fact. I could not.

There are many different tones someone could have decided to take with Brigsby Bear, but the one that it settled on was clearly correct. It was also different. It doesn't hurt that the show within the movie is patently absurd and worthy of being given this sort of treatment. I didn't laugh very hard, but I did think this film was rather amusing and touching. I can't explain why I thought it was touching for an abduction victim to become an adult and remain obsessed with this show, but it was. The ending of Brigsby Bear is also very nicely done, and it's clear as I write this out that this was a very good screenplay. Ultimately, the Brigsby Bear stuff leads to the guy finding his own place in the world, and he does so without hurting anyone else. It's hard for me to hate something like that. Now, on the other hand, there are some negatives of the film and they are largely related to the idea someone would be obsessed with this show when they leave a bunker to find a world that was beyond their imagination. The experiences one is robbed of, those have always been clearly stated by experts and those who have experienced being abducted. This is a good film though. The originality of it, how awkward the film is, the tone and deadpan humor, that material really worked for me.

7/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   John Wick: Chapter 2
21.   The Lost City of Z
22.   First They Killed My Father
23.   A Ghost Story
24.   Darkest Hour
25.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
26.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
27.   Sweet Virginia
28.   It
29.   Battle of the Sexes
30.   Brad's Status
31.   Okja
32.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
33.   Kong: Skull Island
34.   It Comes at Night
35.   Crown Heights
36.   Split
37.   1922
38.   Personal Shopper
39.   Landline
40.   Beatriz at Dinner
41.   Chuck
42.   Atomic Blonde
43.   Shot Caller
44.   Brigsby Bear
45.   Wheelman
46.   The Lego Batman Movie
47.   Megan Leavey
48.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
49.   Marshall
50.   Menashe
51.   Walking Out
52.   American Made
53.   Annabelle: Creation
54.   Beauty and the Beast
55.   Imperial Dreams
56.   Gifted
57.   Murder on the Orient Express
58.   The Zookeeper's Wife
59.   The Glass Castle
60.   Free Fire
61.   Win It All
62.   The Wall
63.   Life
64.   My Cousin Rachel
65.   Breathe
66.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
67.   Maudie
68.   Sleight
69.   Alone in Berlin
70.   A United Kingdom
71.   Trespass Against Us
72.   The Mountain Between Us
73.   War Machine
74.   Happy Death Day
75.   Lowriders
76.   Justice League
77.   To the Bone
78.   Ghost in the Shell
79.   Wakefield
80.   Bright
81.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
82.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
83.   The Mummy
84.   The Greatest Showman
85.   Rough Night
86.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
87.   Sand Castle
88.   The Circle
89.   American Assassin
90.   CHiPs
91.   Death Note
92.   The Belko Experiment
93.   The Great Wall
94.   Fist Fight
95.   Baywatch
96.   Snatched
97.   Wilson
98.   The Dark Tower
99.   Queen of the Desert
100.   The House
101.   Flatliners
102.   Sleepless
103.   All Eyez on Me
104.   The Book of Henry
105.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #160 on: June 09, 2019, 06:29:25 PM »
subtitles, Korean



Mother (2009), directed by Bong Joon-ho

I think, although I cannot be certain of this, that this is the first South Korean film that I have ever watched. I haven't watched many foreign films in the first place, although when I catch up to where I started going to the theater, this is going to change in a hurry. Even though I haven't seen South Korean films, I have been fortunate enough to see one of Bong Joon-ho's projects before, the eccentric and strange Okja. Mother is nothing like that and is entirely different, it's fair to say this was the right time for me to watch a film like this one. The rather devilish twists and turns seem to fit with a longstanding ideology that I've always felt to the core, that many mothers will look to protect their child regardless of what they are accused of doing. This film is so much better when you don't know what happens, so if you're reading and have the intention of seeing this, I encourage you not to continue. Mother is the kind of film cinephiles will watch for years, not the least because other cinephiles will consistently recommend something like this when recommendations need to be made. There is one thing I need to know though. Is it remotely acceptable to have laughed at anything in this movie? I ask because I did laugh a few times, and I do think that's one of the flaws with the film. The storytelling can be very unclear at times, but this is something that ultimately works to the benefit of the story. Mother is on Netflix until the 13th so if you want to watch the film, you better get to it.

Mother (Kim Hye-ja) is a woman who lives with her mentally handicapped son Yoon Do-joon (Won Bin) in seemingly rural, small town South Korea. Mother has problems beyond her son's issues. She does unlicensed acupuncture, which is apparently a big deal, and she's extremely protective of her son because of how he is. Do-joon has been taught by his mother to attack anyone who makes fun of him for being what he is, and this is something prevalent throughout the film because other people cannot help themselves. Do-joon does have a friend, Jin-Tae (Jin Goo), and this guy is not a good seed to put it nicely. One day, they're hanging out across the street from Mother's herb store, and Do-joon is hit by a car. He and Jin-Tae give chase and eventually hail a cab, the cab follows the Mercedes to a country club because as Jin-Tae says, where else would they be going. They catch up to the car in the parking lot and Jin-Tae kicks the mirror off the door. To say that Do-joon is mentally handicapped is somewhat of an understatement, he has a horrible memory, can't read, and can't make sense of pretty much anything in the world. Eventually the two friends attack a group of professors who were out golfing, and it was their car, which leads to everyone being hauled into the police station. While there, Jin-Tae blames the broken mirror on Do-joon, and this leaves Mother to pay Do-joon's expensive debts.

Mother and Do-joon are poor, this is made clear. That same night, Do-joon is supposed to meet with Jin-Tae and Jin-Tae never shows up. On the way home after getting plastered, he follows a high school girl, Moon Ah-jung (Moon Hee-ra) onto a pathway. She's scared of him of course, and she throws a rock at him to scare him away. This works, Do-joon is scared of everything, and that's that. He crawls into bed with his mom and that's how his day went. The next morning, Ah-jung is discovered dead on a rooftop with her head having been busted open. The police are keen to arrest Do-joon, he's an easy suspect, too stupid to defend himself, and someone has placed a golf ball signed by him at the scene of the crime. The police easily trick him into signing a confession and lock him up. Although there will be a trial, finding a lawyer is difficult and measures must be taken. Mother is determined to clear her son's name, she wants to do her own investigation. She knows that her son is simply too unintelligent to do anything like this, she is going to clear him even though she doesn't have any money. The thing I liked most about this is that her name is never given, and her attempts at detective work are entertaining the whole time.

The key to this film is that all of the twists and turns are entirely unexpected as some of the rules of formulaic cinematic storytelling are broken. Important characters are introduced later in the film. Seemingly important characters disappear. The film easily shifts point of view from one character to the next. Mother also ensures that we have a complete character description for many of the people involved. The movie builds slowly with no obligation to the audience to speed anything up. The big moments of the film are genuinely shocking and seemingly come out of nowhere. There are conventions that need to be busted in order for a filmmaker to create something spectacular, and the opposites of all things mentioned are not present. Mother is not a perfect film, but it's a great one. I did not mention the entire picture, but regardless of how it actually ended, I do not think I would have seen it coming. There are so many events in this that I didn't really have time to think about who killed the girl. I was attempting to process everything that I was seeing. The little moments here make everything work, and there are things left in question about the backstories of these characters. I really want to know some of these questions as well, but the answer will never be given.

The tricks here, of which there are many, suit the story so well and some of them made me quite happy. The only one I can actually talk about concerns the grandmother of the victim. The framing of the shot leads the viewer to believe that she is going to take a header down a cliff. That is not what happens. It's one of those things better seen than described. The overall point I've been trying to make is that this resonated with me strongly. There were numerous times that I audibly reacted, and that's when I know a murder mystery has truly made its mark. The viewer is rewarded for sticking with the slow buildup, and I will also point out that I thought one of the characters was one of the most evil that I've ever seen. There's a difference between an evil, well-rounded character and an evil caricature. There are plenty of evil caricatures out there. If you want to know the difference, watch this and see what you feel. It is taking everything inside of me not to spoil this, so I'm going to stop. If you haven't seen this, make time to see it. I'm telling you now. Every character is important and what we have here is a great piece of work. I will probably be thinking about this for a while.

9/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #161 on: June 12, 2019, 05:22:41 AM »


Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017), directed by S. Craig Zahler

Obviously, I have been waiting to watch this film for quite a long time. Everything in it seemingly straight up my alley, but I thought I would work my way towards the end of 2017 before I finally turned this on. Bone Tomahawk was a strong debut film, but the time I had between watching both of these enabled me to forget about how gory that previous film really was. This, it turns out, was not so good. Being prepared for the gore in Zahler's films is a necessity when you watch them, because if you aren't ready the stuff in them is going to shock you. Anyway, I wish I'd remembered. Brawl in Cell Block 99 is the very definition of a grindhouse exploitation movie and almost all of it is so good, it is unpredictable to its core, it is exactly what I wanted. When someone said that Vince Vaughn kicks ass in this movie, I laughed but now it is obviously true. The best way to describe Brawl in Cell Block 99 is as a movie where someone kills their whole way through prison. Although the film has flaws, and I will get to them, there's a part of me that can easily handwave them away. Who really cares, after all? When a filmmaker gives the audience what they want, it is easy to accept and embrace the movie for what it is.

Bradley Thomas (Vince Vaughn) is a former boxer who is, obviously no longer a boxer, and at the start of this film he works at an auto repair shop. He goes into work and is fired almost immediately, laid off because they don't have work for him to do. So, he's mad. Bradley heads home in his shitty Pontiac Firebird Formula, which is to say that he drives a really fucking old car that isn't classic. When he gets home, he sees his wife Lauren (Jennifer Carpenter) talking to someone on her phone, and he knows something's up. He's mad, sees a hickey on her neck, and when he hears from her that she's been seeing someone else, he goes fucking crazy. I don't want to say what he does because that defeats the purpose of watching this. Bradley and Lauren talk about their failed relationship, and Bradley wants to do much better. He forgives Lauren and decides that he's going to become a drug mule again, working for Gil (Marc Blucas). Things go well with Gil for some time, and Brawl in Cell Block 99 fast-forwards 18 months to a life where Lauren is pregnant and Bradley has bought a nice house. They have nice things now and life is very good.

After a delivery where we see how Bradley gets shit done these days, he is introduced to Eleazar (Dion Mucciacito), a new supplier who will take care of some of the issues Gil and Bradley have with their heroin and crystal meth supply. Bradley seems to have problems with the way this is going to work out. He doesn't trust Roman (Geno Segers), a really big guy who won't listen to him and seems to not respect his authority. The fact is, this has to go well, so Gil makes some promises to his employee. So, Bradley takes Roman and another guy out on a trip with a boat, where they have to retrieve a trunk from the water. When they get back, Bradley thinks they're walking into a trap and throws the bag in the water, but there are two more and the two other guys have them. They ignore him and start shooting at the police, but the film establishes rather early on that Bradley is a patriot who just might believe in that Blue Lives Matter shit. Plus, he was pretty clear in not wanting to hurt anyone. When he attacks Roman and the other trafficker, this leads to Bradley getting caught. As was already established, he was headed into a trap. Once arrested, he's told that he will get four years and serve all of them for drug trafficking, but that was bullshit. He's getting seven years because the court system pulls that stuff on people, but it's not as if he doesn't deserve it. He is a drug trafficker after all. Now, if you want to know what Brawl in Cell Block 99 actually means, you'll have to watch this because I'm not saying anything else.

Obviously, like basically everyone else, I really enjoyed Brawl in Cell Block 99. The guy who doesn't believe in violence being forced into doing very bad things to save his family is often a good story, but not often to this extent. The level of the violence and the lack of music during those scenes is what makes them. I do have some things to say that may feel like complaints, but they're actually strengths. For starters, the film is too long. The thing about Zahler's films is that when they're too long, it's because he wants to round out the characters as much as is humanly possible. You can see this when he gives interviews because he does the same thing when answering probing questions. I accept the length of the film because it works, because it allows us to understand what it would be like to go into prison, or to have these things happen to you. The length of the film makes the violence more palpable, every scene has a point and Vince Vaughn is completely convincing while doing this. This is someone who has done a lot of bad comedy movies, yet the funniest line of his career is in this film. I have a feeling that I will revisit Brawl in Cell Block 99 at some point. The film is a very slow burn, but that suits me fine and I feel like I had the opportunity to enjoy the characters. Don Johnson's role here is fantastic too.

There's one thing about the film though, or at least one that people keep talking about when it comes to Zahler. There's the matter of a lot of people with bad political beliefs also enjoying his films to a great extent. What exactly does, and what should that mean? Should that mean you should feel bad for enjoying the film? This film and the last, are for people who wanted a western horror movie or a jailhouse combat flick. I do not understand what's wrong with enjoying that just because some bad person also does. Granted, I have not continued on yet to the most controversial one, but I'm a person who judges things once I watch them and not before that. Do I think he's a racist? I don't know, but I do know that he's great at writing characters who bring something realistic to the table. Some of those characters are racist and some are not. I don't believe that a person who writes a blatantly racist character should be automatically judged for doing so, as if those beliefs reflect on their own feelings. Their actions outside of that script are what matters. I do think this film could have been trimmed, which would have eliminated a lot of these lines, but they all do a job to explain why the characters think what they think.

I need more films like this one where characters do bad things, where their motivations are explained along the way as in Shot Caller. Of course, both of these are prison films, but they couldn't be more different from each other if they tried. I think there are some issues with Zahler's approach in the sense that any given scene can be interpreted by the audience however they want, and he's talked about that before, but it's also rather different and quite welcome. I don't always like things being laid out in a film to the extent where everything is spelled out for you, where you are made to feel a certain way and can feel bad for not thinking that way. Again, the film is too long, but this is one of the greatest displays of ass kicking I have ever seen, and as such it would be impossible for me not to enjoy it. The way all these fights were framed was like something straight out of my brain.

8/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Wind River
15.   Thor: Ragnarok
16.   Logan Lucky
17.   The Beguiled
18.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
19.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
20.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
21.   John Wick: Chapter 2
22.   The Lost City of Z
23.   First They Killed My Father
24.   A Ghost Story
25.   Darkest Hour
26.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
27.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
28.   Sweet Virginia
29.   It
30.   Battle of the Sexes
31.   Brad's Status
32.   Okja
33.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
34.   Kong: Skull Island
35.   It Comes at Night
36.   Crown Heights
37.   Split
38.   1922
39.   Personal Shopper
40.   Landline
41.   Beatriz at Dinner
42.   Chuck
43.   Atomic Blonde
44.   Shot Caller
45.   Brigsby Bear
46.   Wheelman
47.   The Lego Batman Movie
48.   Megan Leavey
49.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
50.   Marshall
51.   Menashe
52.   Walking Out
53.   American Made
54.   Annabelle: Creation
55.   Beauty and the Beast
56.   Imperial Dreams
57.   Gifted
58.   Murder on the Orient Express
59.   The Zookeeper's Wife
60.   The Glass Castle
61.   Free Fire
62.   Win It All
63.   The Wall
64.   Life
65.   My Cousin Rachel
66.   Breathe
67.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
68.   Maudie
69.   Sleight
70.   Alone in Berlin
71.   A United Kingdom
72.   Trespass Against Us
73.   The Mountain Between Us
74.   War Machine
75.   Happy Death Day
76.   Lowriders
77.   Justice League
78.   To the Bone
79.   Ghost in the Shell
80.   Wakefield
81.   Bright
82.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
83.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
84.   The Mummy
85.   The Greatest Showman
86.   Rough Night
87.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
88.   Sand Castle
89.   The Circle
90.   American Assassin
91.   CHiPs
92.   Death Note
93.   The Belko Experiment
94.   The Great Wall
95.   Fist Fight
96.   Baywatch
97.   Snatched
98.   Wilson
99.   The Dark Tower
100.   Queen of the Desert
101.   The House
102.   Flatliners
103.   Sleepless
104.   All Eyez on Me
105.   The Book of Henry
106.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #162 on: June 12, 2019, 06:06:40 PM »


Olympus Has Fallen (2013), directed by Antoine Fuqua

There is another one of these films coming out in August, so I felt the need to watch them all even though I'd never started or had any particular interest in this. There was a reason I'd never had any interest in this. One time I turned around and my dad was watching White House Down, and I always thought it was Olympus Has Fallen, but it wasn't. The movies are so similar and I can't believe anyone would release the two one after the other like this. In a sane world, the release date for White House Down would have been booted down the road. Maybe they could've fixed the film while they were at it. While Olympus Has Fallen isn't quite as bad as that was, this is a film that is profoundly stupid. There are very few people who have been in as many bad theatrically released movies as Gerard Butler has been. Olympus Has Fallen is actually on the upper end of his scale, but that's not a compliment of any kind. I do not know how someone can pick as many bad scripts as he has chosen. That would seem to be impossible, but it is clear that anything is possible after all. The film basically rips off of every other similar subject that you can think of, does so gladly without any thought as to whether or not those scenes even work. The crux of the film is incredibly stupid, the large concept that allows all these people to get in a room with each other is absurdly flawed. The greatest sin is probably that the terrorists are beyond incompetent.

Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is a former Army Ranger turned Secret Service agent, he is in charge of the President's (Aaron Eckhart) detail. They are at Camp David on a snowy night, where President Asher is with the First Lady (Ashley Judd) and their son Connor (Finley Jacobsen). It's time to drive to a campaign fundraiser, but the car shouldn't be on the road in the first place and everyone knows that. This shows you the level of detail in the script. Anyway, a bridge falls off a tree and hits a car, which leads to a collision in the motorcade, and the car with the First Family crashes while on a bridge. It's about to go over, and while Banning is able to pull the President out of the car, the First Lady dies when the car falls onto the frozen river below. Their son also makes it out of the car, but I don't remember or could not figure out how. Take your pick. Of course, in the aftermath of such a thing where Banning is unable to save the First Lady, he's given the boot and now works at the Treasury. The film kicks forward eighteen months, and I have no idea why this matters, but Banning is a married man with a wife who works as a nurse, Leah (Radha Mitchell). I don't get the inclusion of this at all and her scenes are rather strange. Now that I've established the way things worked out with Banning, I have more work to do.

The President is meeting with the South Korean Prime Minister, but it turns out that South Korea is a really incompetent country in the world of Olympus Has Fallen. His government detail has been infiltrated by a North Korean terrorist organization, to the point where nearly everyone in his group was part of this operation. The organization is led by Kang Yeonsak (Rick Yune), who reveals himself after some of the things I'm going to describe. The start of the attack features a plane flying over Washington D.C. with the intention of causing as much havoc as possible, opening fire on civilians and obviously the White House as well. Down into the bunker they go, with the President, the Secretary of Defense Ruth McMillan (Melissa Leo), the Vice President, and Dave Forbes (Dylan McDermott), a former Secret Service agent who works for the South Korean PM now. That just doesn't sound right to me. Anyway, in the bunker, it turns out that the PM's trusted adviser is Kang, who shoots him in the head. Forbes joins in on the fun and he's part of the terrorist organization as well, they are seeking to bring famine and devastation to the United States. First, they must capture the White House, the most important key of which is Connor, who they need for...reasons. The way things play out, the Director of the Secret Service (Angela Bassett), the Army Chief of Staff (Robert Forster), and the acting President Allan Trumbull (Morgan Freeman) are tasked with getting the situation under control. Their ace in the hole, of course, is Mike Banning.

At its core, this feels like a 90's movie in terms of the tone, the violence, and the plot. The plot is razor thin, this is a very standard terrorism movie, but one of the things I liked about it is that there were no goofy political messages of any kind. The villains are also not those prone to rampant stereotypes, North Korea is a joke and therefore they're free game. Olympus Has Fallen does boast some good action scenes, I will admit. Some of them are also overkill. An example of a good one is the way Mike deals with advance weaponry. The worst is the way the terrorists take the White House in the first place. That scene felt like Call of Duty, the amount of people getting mowed down was completely ridiculous and I didn't see the point of executing the scene in this way. The film as a whole seems to not have much a reason to exist and I don't understand why these kinds of films were so popular. They no longer are and don't make money, but I'm confused about the appeal of this. The film is very obviously not filmed in anything that even attempts to look like the White House, the interiors are all awful without exeception. The story doesn't make sense and the plot revolves around getting a code out of the President when he'd already been unable to withstand seeing people get hurt. The logical answer is that the terrorists would keep torturing those people, but apparently not!

One thing I was pondering on was that the world has changed a lot since Olympus Has Fallen was filmed in 2012. This is apparent when watching the film today. The technology is very outdated, the cars in the opening scenes are as well, and so is the CGI. The CGI being dated is actually a major problem. Olympus Has Fallen was heavily reliant on using that CGI to recreate Washington D.C. because they did not film in Washington. When the initial attack is happening, it's outdoors during the day, and it completely fails from where I stand. I just could not believe in what I was watching. Olympus Has Fallen is also rather long, and I'm sure you can tell that I am not going to give this a good rating. It turns out that I now know what I want from my action movies. I want well choreographed, long take hand to hand combat without camera cutting. I do not want people brainlessly shooting each other unless there is some ingenuity in the filming of it. I think it's for the best that action films have taken the turn they've done. I would rather see the genre be unable to draw money without creating something great than for there to be more films like this one. I do intend to watch the other two, and I'm sure the one coming out this year will bomb very hard, but I think Mr. Fuqua made a lot of uncharacteristic mistakes. This thing stunk and the humor in it wasn't any good, which is a rather fatal flaw. Levity and common sense are crucial and Olympus Has Fallen lacks both those things.

4/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #163 on: June 19, 2019, 06:46:41 PM »


Lady Bird (2017), directed by Greta Gerwig

While I'm not done with 2017 yet, I believe this is the last of the Best Picture nominees I will watch. Sorry, but a man wooing a 17 year old boy is not for me and I will not watch that movie. Anyway, this was how I intended to close out with the nominees for that year. It turns out that I would not have nominated Lady Bird for Best Picture, but that's alright and that doesn't mean this isn't a great movie, which in many ways it is. I know by now that the perspective of the coming of age movie makes no difference on whether or not I find it to be good. Eighth Grade was the true test of this, and I really liked that, so of course I'd enjoy this. In some ways this is a spiritual sequel of sorts although the film I'm saying was a spiritual sequel premiered before the other was released. You can also tell very much that in some ways this is Greta Gerwig's biopic about herself, you just need to look at some material regarding her background to figure that out. Lady Bird does a great job at capturing the moment of what it would be like to be a girl in a predominantly white, religious high school in that part of the country during 2002. The film doesn't work without a good actress in the lead role to capture people's attention, but this is a film that was also heavily praised for one of its supporting performances. 2017 is a year with a lot of variety in terms of its best films, I find that there are not a lot of great ones, but the ones that are on that level could not possibly be more different than one another. The key to making something different than everything else is to add a personal touch, and Lady Bird has that.

Lady Bird is set in Sacramento during 2002, as already mentioned, and Christine McPherson (Saoirse Ronan) is a senior in a Catholic high school. Christine has decided that she wants a new name, as some people do at that age. Hence, she is called Lady Bird. Lady Bird wants to get out of Sacramento because it has no culture, which is true because it does not. Her family doesn't have very much money to support these ambitions of higher education in a different state, but kids have dreams and hopes and don't always have a concept of such things. Lady Bird's mother Marion (Laurie Metcalf) is working double shifts at the psychiatric hospital, while her father Larry (Tracy Letts) has lost his job and is now unemployed. They don't have the best house or best car, but there are dreams. Marion thinks that Lady Bird is ungrateful for what she has and tells her so all the time, she's a hard ass and rides her daughter into the ground. Her brother Miguel (Jordan Rodrigues) and his girlfriend Shelly (Marielle Scott) also live in their house, but they support themselves as best as they can by working at a grocery store. Times are hard. Lady Bird wants to get into university and the best path for her to have a good application is to join theater, because that's something she can do with her best friend Julie (Beanie Feldstein). Her school life, as stuffy as it may sound, is rather good. Her favorite teacher is Sister Sarah Joan (Lola Smith), and Julie has a crush on another teacher, Mr. Bruno (Jake McDorman). She thinks he will reciprocate, but of course he will not.

In theater, Lady Bird seems to find herself and become more confident. She meets a boy, Danny (Lucas Hedges). They have an interesting little relationship, and Lady Bird really comes to like this kid. So, they go to his grandmother's house on Thanksgiving, which really makes Lady Bird's mother angry, but the house is one that Lady Bird had always dreamed of living in. There's a problem though, it's kind of important. When they go out to eat one time with people from school, Lady Bird walks into the men's restroom and finds Danny kissing some other guy in one of the stalls. So, that's that. After the fling is over, Lady Bird gets a job at a coffee shop and meets Kyle (Timothee Chalamet), a very douchey musician she saw at a show some time before. Lady Bird starts dating him, and it's time to drop Julie as her friend too because she's hanging with a new crowd. Her new bestie becomes Jenna (Odeya Rush), a girl who hangs out with Kyle's friends, and this leads to Lady Bird dropping out of the theater program. The ultimate point of the movie is, what exactly is Lady Bird going to do with her life? She wants to leave Sacramento, but her grades aren't that great. Her family doesn't have the money to put her through school, but she's sending out applications everywhere. She has to find herself and come to grips with becoming an adult, because a lot of children are cast out into the world and have to make the most of themselves.

From where I sit, Lady Bird is a rather joyful film, but from where someone else sits that may not be the case. I thought that this was the kind of movie someone makes when they've experienced these things and earned the cache to make the film before they've forgotten what all those experiences were like. The best coming-of-age movies I've seen were not directed by old people, unless I'm missing something or simply haven't seen them. The fact is that there's something here for everyone. When the film may feel like it's lacking in the meaningful drama that inhabits other great films of the genre, there's comedy and the feeling that we've lived some of these experiences. At my age, yeah, I guess some of us have. I didn't run off to buy a Playgirl when I was 18, but I know the feeling of that moment. There's some goofy stuff with the choice in music, but I can't really critique this as I was not a young girl in 2002 and do not know what they listened to. I think this was lacking Hoobastank, though. Lady Bird's greatest drama exists in the mother-daughter relationship space, where one person knows that they know better than the other about someone's future, and the other person knows that they can do better than what the other person expects of them.

Lady Bird feels like an authentic film, a movie that encapsulates the era and feeling of living in the US after 9/11. Everything is more important as ever, or maybe it isn't, everyone has their own unique experiences of the time. The film also boasts good craft, the cinematography and overall feel of the story was quite nice. Slick visuals are not always welcome in such a film and I was glad they were not here. The attention to detail, like with Ronan's face having acne scars, are well appreciate. She and Laurie Metcalf had strong performances, but Metcalf's was clearly the best of the year and I just don't know how anything could have surpassed that. We'll see when I check out I, Tonya in a little while. What I am now curious about is the roles that Greta Gerwig played in her past to inspire this directing effort. I've only seen one of them, so I am going to have to go back. It's as simple as that, and I don't know what she was doing, but it is now clear that I should know. I'm not going to say that the praise was overboard, but to me I don't see that this is the best film of that year, but it's very strong and great in its own ways. All the characters make an impact in their short roles, and the film has the levity that I think this story really needs. Stealing the gradebook without any goofy music or a chase scene? I'm there. Give me all those kinds of scenes instead of ridiculous cliches. I don't think the plot is the best in the world, but the film has strong substance, strong emotional connective tissue, and that's what's important.

8.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Lost City of Z
24.   First They Killed My Father
25.   A Ghost Story
26.   Darkest Hour
27.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
28.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
29.   Sweet Virginia
30.   It
31.   Battle of the Sexes
32.   Brad's Status
33.   Okja
34.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
35.   Kong: Skull Island
36.   It Comes at Night
37.   Crown Heights
38.   Split
39.   1922
40.   Personal Shopper
41.   Landline
42.   Beatriz at Dinner
43.   Chuck
44.   Atomic Blonde
45.   Shot Caller
46.   Brigsby Bear
47.   Wheelman
48.   The Lego Batman Movie
49.   Megan Leavey
50.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
51.   Marshall
52.   Menashe
53.   Walking Out
54.   American Made
55.   Annabelle: Creation
56.   Beauty and the Beast
57.   Imperial Dreams
58.   Gifted
59.   Murder on the Orient Express
60.   The Zookeeper's Wife
61.   The Glass Castle
62.   Free Fire
63.   Win It All
64.   The Wall
65.   Life
66.   My Cousin Rachel
67.   Breathe
68.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
69.   Maudie
70.   Sleight
71.   Alone in Berlin
72.   A United Kingdom
73.   Trespass Against Us
74.   The Mountain Between Us
75.   War Machine
76.   Happy Death Day
77.   Lowriders
78.   Justice League
79.   To the Bone
80.   Ghost in the Shell
81.   Wakefield
82.   Bright
83.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
84.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
85.   The Mummy
86.   The Greatest Showman
87.   Rough Night
88.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
89.   Sand Castle
90.   The Circle
91.   American Assassin
92.   CHiPs
93.   Death Note
94.   The Belko Experiment
95.   The Great Wall
96.   Fist Fight
97.   Baywatch
98.   Snatched
99.   Wilson
100.   The Dark Tower
101.   Queen of the Desert
102.   The House
103.   Flatliners
104.   Sleepless
105.   All Eyez on Me
106.   The Book of Henry
107.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #164 on: June 21, 2019, 04:37:43 AM »


The Disaster Artist (2017), directed by James Franco

I have a bad admission here. I have never seen The Room and I will now probably wait around a year to do so. Is The Disaster Artist a film that would benefit from knowing the source material? Almost assuredly that's true, but I think I loved most of the film anyway. I am a big fan of projects that lampoon filmmaking and the general machinations of Hollywood, this is one that really works on that basis alone. It does matter to have seen The Room, but in this way it feels like it doesn't, to know the source material is to have expectations of every scene and the film may or may not meet them. That's how I see it, anyway. The Disaster Artist feels like an embodiment of how a film should mix its humor. There's something here for everyone, even though the film fits into the general pattern of a buddy comedy. Somehow it does, I should say. Making a movie about the making of a bad movie seems like it shouldn't work, because the comedic talent and acting ability required to pull that off is an unreasonable expectation, but when it happens this well, it's great. I was curious to know what the point of making such a film was, but it's obvious. There are a lot of fans of The Room, and making a movie that honors their dedication to that film is an obviously wise creative and financial decision. Maybe if James Franco hadn't done bad things this would have launched his career to another level.

The Disaster Artist kicks off in 1998, with Greg Sestero (Dave Franco) taking acting classes in San Francisco. At these classes, he encounters Tommy Wiseau (James Franco) while Tommy is doing a recreation of a scene from A Streetcar Named Desire. His performance is hilariousness, and Greg loves it, which leads to the two of them becoming friends after practicing another scene in the middle of a diner. The reality of the scene in the acting class was that Tommy was called up there after Greg had completely shit the bed and been criticized for not being fearless, which Tommy was. Tommy has some ground rules about their friendship, he wants Greg to not ask him anything about what he does, where he gets his money, or where he comes from. Rules are made to be broke, of course, but these two are close friends. Eventually, they have conversations where Tommy tells Greg about how he really wanted to be an actor, and Tommy makes the decision that they should turn their dreams into reality. He has an apartment in Los Angeles that Greg did not know about, and he wants them to move down there to stay and become actors. Greg decides that he'll join him, and despite the protestations of his mother (Megan Mullaly), it's going to happen and they head down to Hollywood. There's a fantastic montage after this, I laughed very hard many times, and that's what you need to know about the film. It's very funny.

When they head down to Los Angeles and get started, Tommy starts taking method acting classes taught by someone who looks like Bob Odenkirk, and Greg takes some pictures and gets an agent who we never see again (Sharon Stone). Greg also starts dating Amber (Alison Brie), which makes Tommy quite jealous. He had his best friend and moved down to Los Angeles with him, and some woman is coming between them. This is how he thinks of it anyway. Tommy isn't able to find work, but he and Greg have a revelation. They just need to...MAKE THEIR OWN MOVIE. The movie, of course, is The Room. To make it, they need money, and it turns out that Tommy Wiseau has a whole lot of it. To make a movie, they'll need a script, which Tommy writes. They'll need an assistant director, Sandy Schklair (Seth Rogen). A director of photography is also required, that's Raphael Smadja (Paul Scheer). Do they need love interests for the film? Yes, they do. Robyn (June Diane Raphael) and Juliette (Ari Graynor) will suffice here. They also need an older woman for one of Tommy's written scenes, so they have Carolyn (Jacki Weaver). They also need equipment, which they get from Peter (Jason Mantzoukas) and Bill (Hannibal Buress). Lastly, they need some actors for side characters, Philip (Josh Hutcherson) and Dan (Zac Efron) will suffice. With that, IT'S TIME TO MAKE A FUCKING MOVIE.

The Disaster Artist is funny enough simply as a buddy comedy where two guys want to make a movie. Even if The Room turned out to be a good movie, The Disaster Artist would be a strong film because of the humor and chemistry between the brothers acting out these two parts. When you add in the making of a horrible cult film, and when they show clips from it at the end of the movie, it all comes together into one of the better comedies in recent times. There were also surprisingly poignant moments, the best example being the one during the movie's premiere. I can't speak to whether or not all the performances in The Disaster Artist are faithful representations of the actors in The Room, or of the characters that were in The Room. I just know that I liked it and that this is a great example of a quality film where people are trying to live out their dreams. I don't think that watching the other film is a requirement, I really don't. The characters have the feeling of being authentic, the performances are strong, and most of all they're hilarious. There is no exposition in the entire film either, nothing that explains why Tommy is this way, and the questions everyone would have going into a viewing would still remain when the film is over.

In short, this is the kind of cult movie about a cult movie that it isn't surprising people heavily enjoyed. The Disaster Artist features a great performance by James Franco, hilarious scenes for days, but I think there's a lack of an attempt to figure out what makes Wiseau tick. This isn't necessarily a complaint, but some scenes like those would have fleshed the film out to a great extent. You would also think that a film with as many side characters as this one would go off the rails and become hard to keep focused, but The Disaster Artist does not have those problems and the side characters have their funny moments before the film moves on from them. In the end, I wonder what Wiseau thought of all this. The ending of the film depicts a man who couldn't handle the criticisms leveled towards his film, someone who was in tears before deciding to cover for himself by claiming this was supposed to be a comedy all along. Knowing that it wasn't, knowing that someone is or at least was masking their own pain before coming to grips with reality, it makes me wonder how they felt about The Disaster Artist. The Disaster Artist is directly making fun of its subject while at the same time bringing their pain and anguish to the screen for other people to see.

As it relates to The Room itself, I intend to watch it but I couldn't be more confused by the copious use of green screen.

8/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Brad's Status
34.   Okja
35.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
36.   Kong: Skull Island
37.   It Comes at Night
38.   Crown Heights
39.   Split
40.   1922
41.   Personal Shopper
42.   Landline
43.   Beatriz at Dinner
44.   Chuck
45.   Atomic Blonde
46.   Shot Caller
47.   Brigsby Bear
48.   Wheelman
49.   The Lego Batman Movie
50.   Megan Leavey
51.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
52.   Marshall
53.   Menashe
54.   Walking Out
55.   American Made
56.   Annabelle: Creation
57.   Beauty and the Beast
58.   Imperial Dreams
59.   Gifted
60.   Murder on the Orient Express
61.   The Zookeeper's Wife
62.   The Glass Castle
63.   Free Fire
64.   Win It All
65.   The Wall
66.   Life
67.   My Cousin Rachel
68.   Breathe
69.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
70.   Maudie
71.   Sleight
72.   Alone in Berlin
73.   A United Kingdom
74.   Trespass Against Us
75.   The Mountain Between Us
76.   War Machine
77.   Happy Death Day
78.   Lowriders
79.   Justice League
80.   To the Bone
81.   Ghost in the Shell
82.   Wakefield
83.   Bright
84.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
85.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
86.   The Mummy
87.   The Greatest Showman
88.   Rough Night
89.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
90.   Sand Castle
91.   The Circle
92.   American Assassin
93.   CHiPs
94.   Death Note
95.   The Belko Experiment
96.   The Great Wall
97.   Fist Fight
98.   Baywatch
99.   Snatched
100.   Wilson
101.   The Dark Tower
102.   Queen of the Desert
103.   The House
104.   Flatliners
105.   Sleepless
106.   All Eyez on Me
107.   The Book of Henry
108.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #165 on: June 21, 2019, 06:10:32 PM »


Mute (2018), directed by Duncan Jones

When it comes to 2018's Mute, I think this is a film that perhaps better than any other defines a film that is complete shit when the people making it did not think it would be shit. This isn't a case of actors making something fun when knowing the material sucks, they all tried their best and this was the end result. The script, such as it is, is one of the most nonsensical things of last year. The film makes absolutely no sense at all. Perhaps the worst thing about it is that Duncan Jones stated this was a spiritual sequel to Moon. Has anyone ever insulted their own work to this extent? I don't understand how anyone could make a comment like that. I also can't imagine how a person could start their career with quality and descend to this level so quickly, but that's what the film is. It's one of the worst movies I've seen from 2018, but it isn't the absolute worst. That's one of the only compliments I intend to be giving here. I think what we have in Duncan Jones is a director who knows how to create a good world for his characters, but doesn't actually know what to do with those characters. The characters in Warcraft and Mute never come to life, and in the latter case absolutely none of them feel like real human beings. The film is bizarre, enough so that I was intrigued to see things out to their conclusion. Even in wanting that, I encountered another issue, it was that the film is far too long and tries to keep the viewer on the string well past the point which anyone could feel anything for what's taking place in front of their eyes.

Our film begins with a childhood accident, one can presume that it is of our lead character or it would not be here at all. Leo (Alexander Skarsgard) was an Amish boy in Germany in the distant future. He was swimming in a lake or river somewhere, and there was an accident where a boat's engine had impacted his chest and left him unable to speak. His mother was very devout and did not believe in the the technology for surgery, so Leo did not have surgery at all. When the film kicks forward to Leo as an adult, the world is even more futuristic, and I will have to give a compliment to that as well. Duncan Jones is, at the very least, very imaginative in the sense of creating intriguing worlds. The menus and graphics for everything were rather incredible.  Anyway, Leo has had to adapt with the world because the times demand it. He lives in Berlin and works at a strip club, he is a bartender even though he tries to avoid technology in line with what his mother thought. I know this makes no sense. Leo has a girlfriend, Naadirah (Seyneb Saleh), and she also works at the place as a cocktail waitress. This club is the place where we get to know almost everyone involved in the film. Luba (Robert Sheehan) is someone else who works there, and he's Naadirah's best friend that she confides in. She tells him that she hasn't told Leo about her past or how much she needs money, or for that matter what she does to get it.

The owner of the club is Maksim (Gilbert Owuor), and he's a criminal of course. One night, some British guys are harassing Naadirah and Leo isn't going to stand for that, but she tells him that she need the job and he needs to relax. Later that night, or some other night, she goes to Leo's apartment and needs to tell him something. Leo tells her that she doesn't have to tell him anything, and it's time to flip over to the other side of the story. Maksim is a mafioso, he has guys of his own, and they need help from surgeons. Cactus Bill (Paul Rudd) was already in the club, so we've met him, but Duck (Justin Theroux) is his partner and best friend. Bill wants to get out of Berlin, and the political situation is such that he's gone AWOL from the military. Bill and Duck are Americans, they were deployed, and Bill just doesn't want to back to Afghanistan. He also now has a very young daughter, Josie. Duck intends to stay in Berlin, but Bill needs papers from Maksim, and the British guys Leo was told not to beat up factor into that plan. Of course, Leo gets into another disagreement with them, this time Naadirah isn't there, and he gets into a full blown fist fight that leads to him losing his job. When he gets home, he can't find out where Naadirah is, it seems that she has disappeared. A guy like Leo? He has nothing else good in the world, people shit on him all the time because he can't speak. He is going to find his girlfriend.

The length of time which it takes all these events to play out is thoroughly displeasing. The film is overindulgent and needed numerous plot points removed from it entirely. I haven't even stated half of the things that happen here, and all the things I didn't mention were pretty bad. Mute is a pretty bad film as a whole. The commentary on a futuristic hellscape such as the Berlin shown here, that commentary doesn't even exist. These things are shown, it is clear that the director does not like the idea of these things, and I suppose that's really all that's said. This doesn't feel like a world inhabited by real people. All of the characters, without exception, are pretty bad. Leo being a mute merely serves to make the lead character a plot device. He goes in somewhere and fucks shit up, he can't say anything because he can't ask questions, and this means the viewer receives no answer to the questions that should be asked. This makes Bill's share of the film essential to understanding the plot, and unfortunately this section follows around two really bad characters. One is a sociopath and the other is a pedophile, the pedophilia is ignored by the person who isn't one, and the contrast of these two characters says it all. The length of the film absolutely killed me because I could not handle these three leads.

I can't get into a film like this one when I'm struggling to understand why Leo is an Amish bartender who refuses to get surgery to fix his voice years after his mom is gone, while he's doing things that aren't fitting with his religion and fornicating with a woman. Could anyone understand that? According to IMDB, this film's tagline is "he doesn't need words." Leo really fucking does need words! This kind of protagonist is absolute nonsense that needed to be left on a page, or rather made into a book. I'm not saying that every film with a mute lead character has these problems, but the film requires him to beat people up and find answers to his questions. This format simply doesn't work. I already stated my complaints about the voiced characters and how they provide said understanding to the plot, but the way this all comes together is also horrible. Obviously, I really didn't like this film and I'm struggling to properly state why I feel this way, but I think I've mentioned enough. I was kind of bummed out, I thought there was a good film buried in the first few minutes, but the concept just doesn't work. I did find some humor in the cameos of Sam Rockwell's character from Moon, but that's also a problem, that shit wasn't supposed to be funny at all. I thought Moon was a really serious film, one that posed a lot of questions and didn't bash the viewer over the head with a hammer at any point. This is the opposite of that, and it seems from the cameos that Duncan Jones doesn't understand why Moon was a good film in the first place, so this guy is just an idiot who suckered good actors into being in his shitty movie.

3/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Black Panther
10.   If Beale Street Could Talk
11.   The Sisters Brothers
12.   A Private War
13.   Avengers: Infinity War
14.   Stan & Ollie
15.   Green Book
16.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
17.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
18.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
19.   On My Skin
20.   Private Life
21.   Climax
22.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
23.   Mid90s
24.   Eighth Grade
25.   Sorry to Bother You
26.   Suspiria
27.   Vice
28.   The Old Man & the Gun
29.   Vox Lux
30.   Bad Times at the El Royale
31.   The Other Side of the Wind
32.   Searching
33.   A Simple Favor
34.   The Hate U Give
35.   Unsane
36.   Disobedience
37.   Boy Erased
38.   Bumblebee
39.   Mary Poppins Returns
40.   Creed II
41.   Hold the Dark
42.   The Land of Steady Habits
43.   Halloween
44.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
45.   Beirut
46.   Mary Queen of Scots
47.   Aquaman
48.   Outlaw King
49.   Overlord
50.   Ben Is Back
51.   Monsters and Men
52.   The Mule
53.   On the Basis of Sex
54.   Bohemian Rhapsody
55.   White Boy Rick 
56.   Papillon
57.   Game Night
58.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
59.   Instant Family
60.   Alpha
61.   The Front Runner
62.   The Predator
63.   Apostle
64.   The Angel
65.   The Commuter
66.   Beautiful Boy
67.   The Nun
68.   Operation Finale
69.   The Equalizer 2
70.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
71.   Yardie
72.   Bird Box
73.   12 Strong
74.   Venom
75.   Skyscraper
76.   The Meg
77.   Assassination Nation
78.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
79.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
80.   22 July
81.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
82.   The Little Stranger
83.   Tomb Raider
84.   Night School
85.   The 15:17 To Paris
86.   Peppermint
87.   Mile 22
88.   The First Purge
89.   Hunter Killer
90.   The Cloverfield Paradox
91.   Mute
92.   Kin
93.   Hell Fest
94.   Proud Mary
95.   Robin Hood
96.   The Happytime Murders
97.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #166 on: June 23, 2019, 06:07:01 PM »


Human Flow (2017), directed by Ai Weiwei

Documentaries like Human Flow often leave me without words and too depressed to write anything of consequence. So, I'm going keep this short and to the point. Human Flow seems to have been filmed over a whole year, it is a documentary that seems to be a cry for help on a subject that needs so much more exposure. The refugee crisis did not stop, it merely faded out of public consciousness because it is easier for people to ignore that this is happening than it is for the world to do something about it. The focus of Human Flow winds up being on migration to Europe, it's unavoidable for that to become the focus due to the amount of people entering Europe and the ease with which someone can make a documentary film. There are many clips from Middle Eastern countries, but naturally those are more dangerous, the stories are more difficult to expose, and I applaud the filmmakers for going there at all. The goal is not to merely report and show our current refugee crisis, but those that we have forgotten long ago. The camps in Lebanon, the prison camp of Gaza, Calais, Jordan, Egypt, the list goes on and on. These are still refugee camps but the end result of the lack of resolution to these situations and the unwillingness of the governments housing refugees to do something about it has led to those camps becoming people's homes. They are born in them, they never leave, and presumably they are going to die in those camps as well.

This film can best be described as an epic, Human Flow is careful not to focus too much on any specific group of people, the film is keenly aware that there are too many groups of refugees on our planet and shows as many of them as possible. The thing I found most depressing about Human Flow was the inevitable likelihood that there will be more refugees and a world more and more unwilling to house them. We are going to have to learn how to live with one another because countries are going to become less inhabitable. This leads to a lot of moral questions about bad people from those countries that I cannot answer or even begin to put down. Their existence is what jeopardizes the refugee, leads to xenophobia, and to countries disallowing them from entry, but the film is apolitical and entirely focused on the refugee and not why these things are happening to them. There is no way to answer these sorts of questions in any case, all matters are complex beyond a simplistic paragraph or two. A refugee is stripped of their humanity, of their home and their rights, of their ability to have food, but it's better than what's currently going on in their countries and that's what we know. I am also a believer that in some of the cases where these people come from, the refugee crisis is a long time in coming, these are groups that have wanted to leave their awful conditions for generations. Social media, in some cases the new lack of brutal dictator, the ease of transportation, and the desperation when the conditions have never improved is what has led to this.

The director himself is a refugee, he is rich but he was also a political prisoner and is unable to return home. His experiences as an activist serve to drive the film, he knows what people need to see and how to bring it to us. Human Flow has what I would consider to be haunting cinematography. The images show the world as it is, a beautiful place to be certain, but it is one that humanity has done a horrible number on. We accept that people have to live next to sewage and shit, to burn and pillage as they please, to imprison groups of people, this is just how it is. I think there are a few problems with the approach of the director though. I loved the grand scope of the film, but the way it is filmed presents a problem where the imagery is not gritty enough. I don't think I care for the tracking shots here at all even though I understand the point of them. Human Flow has no levity, which I thought was fine, but it's very difficult to recommend that someone watch this as a feature. Human Flow also lacks a driving point and doesn't outlay what it is attempting to achieve, and the subjects aren't shown for very long as things skip around. I think this is still a strong documentary and intelligent piece of filmmaking. There are so many devastating things shown here, when the film was over I had nothing to say, but I've pushed through to provide some information because it's eating away at me. What I think this film is most effective at doing is making sure that people understand the grand scope of this crisis, and the failures of humanity are here for all to see.

8/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #167 on: June 25, 2019, 04:51:05 AM »


The Outsider (2018), directed by Martin Zandvliet

The Outsider is Mr. Zandvliet's follow-up to Land of Mine, which I thought was a great movie. Land of Mine was about land mines after World War II, when German prisoners were forced to clean up the mess their superior officers decided to make when they placed land mines all over Danish beaches. These two movies could not possibly be more different than each other. Zandvliet continues with the post-WW2 motif, but this one isn't good, it isn't nearly as related to World War II. In a sense, it's an examination of what could happen to an American who stayed in Japan, but it's a horrible one. This film is too long, it does not need to feel like this, and it's extremely boring. I think I have a lot to say about this one, but I'm struggling with an opening paragraph. One of the questions I have here is why Jared Leto would go from playing the Joker to this, it defies all logic and his character looks too much like the Joker to see anything else at all. There is nothing even slightly good about this, what I'm curious to know is why the director would go from making what he made to making something so absurdly unrealistic. I'll try to help you understand the premise so that you can see exactly what I mean. I'm laughing as I write this because as I'm formulating the sentences in my head, this sounds crazier and crazier. How did this even get made? The Outsider was in the can for over a year before being dropped on Netflix last March, so I'm sure everyone involved knew this wasn't any good.

The Outsider refers to Nick Lowell (Jared Leto), who is for some reason imprisoned in Osaka after the Allied occupation of Japan has ended. He is the only gaijin in this prison, he hardly understands the language, and this is a situation that I would not want to be in. He seemingly doesn't care for this situation either, and because he can't speak Japanese, the guards treat him like shit. Most of the people in there are Yakuza, and at the very start of the film, he saves a man named Kiyoshi (Tadanobu Asano) from being hanged to death. Saving Kiyoshi, it turns out, was a very beneficial move that set a lot of things in motion. Kiyoshi is part of the Shiromatsu Yakuza clan, he wants to repay the debt by getting Nick sprung from jail. But first, Kiyoshi must do something to get out of jail himself. I don't want anyone to watch this, so I'll just spoil the movie. He has to knife himself in the gut in order to make that happen. When everyone gets out, he is offered a job by the Yakuza. There is an American with a factory, Anthony Panetti (Rory Cochrane). Nick is sent to deal with him however he must, and it turns out that things aren't going to go well for the Shiromatsu's. Anthony has already been talked to by a rival clan from Kobe, the Seizu's. They sent an American the first time they met him, and that made the deal happen. Nick responds to that by beating the guy to death with a typewriter.

Nick's solution to everything is to respond with violence, and when his backstory is filled in later on, we learn that he may have committed war crimes, and that may be the reason he wound up in prison. The Outsider is just not the kind of film that expands on these things or bothers to make sense. After this happens, the Shiromatsu clan retreats to their strip club. The Seizu's walk in, and there's a disagreement that nearly ends in a shootout, it is further confirmation that Nick is dangerously aggressive. Kiyoshi likes this and tasks Nick with more violent jobs, and there's other ones like driving his sister Miyu (Shiori Kutsuna) home. Nick winds up sleeping with her, but there are some issues even though he becomes more involved with the clan. That night Nick slept with Miyu, he was followed by Orochi (Kippei Shiina), the #2 in the clan. Their leader is Akihiro (Min Tanaka), a much older man who won't take any shit. Over the course of the movie, we see some rituals done to and by Nick, in some ways they feel like fetishizing of the Yakuza and I don't particularly care for them. I suppose the best way to end this paragraph is by talking about the impending war between the Seizu and Shiromatsu. Yeah, it's definitely going to happen and this gaijin is a large reason why. He's coming into the clan and doing more and more things for Akihiro, this isn't going to be something accepted for long.

The best way to describe this movie is that it is a much worse version of The Last Samurai. It's worse because the Yakuza are not something to be respected and the director centers his movie around trying to do so. Their traditions and what they do to people is not to be respected, they are bad people. I haven't seen The Last Samurai in an extremely long time, but while both films feature a white protagonist doing foreign things for a group of people, The Last Samurai has more respect and honor for the traditions displayed in the film. I won't say this is a white savior movie because there is not a single good character in this movie. I found Nick to be a destructive force who brought harm to everything he touched, to be a bad person who was said to have committed war crimes, and I don't understand the logic of anything that I just watched. The length of the story just kills me, and this blatantly attempts to be a Refn flick and simply cannot match up. We have a protagonist who doesn't talk, surrounded by other people who have to drive the story, but in this case the director doesn't know how to pull that off. The film is also not visually pleasing at all, everything is played too safe in that regard. The film contains just about every cliche you can think of. Silence it certainly is not, and this may be the worst case of an gaijin infiltrating Japanese society that I have seen.

To the point of the man becoming Yakuza and all that stuff, it's complete bullshit and I think just about everyone knows that. The plot is also telegraphed, so there's no solace to be found in that either. The point where this guy is getting tattoos all over himself without knowing what they mean is a parody of sorts, I don't know how anyone could have thought those scenes were a good idea. Every character presents similar problems to me. The hot sister only exists so that Nick can fuck her, because of course she would want to bang the American guy. The characters that can and can't speak English also amuse me for various reasons. I don't think this would have been good, but The Outsider would have been better if it was focused on the Japanese perspective of having an American come into their clan and do all these things. This is simply a really bad screenplay, a film that should not have been made. I have to cut myself off here, everything about this was boring and the film was very difficult to get through. There are no redeeming qualities I can think of at all, the only thing that wasn't a failure was the craft of filming the picture. One thing to keep in mind is that there is nothing worse than being bored.

2.5/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Black Panther
10.   If Beale Street Could Talk
11.   The Sisters Brothers
12.   A Private War
13.   Avengers: Infinity War
14.   Stan & Ollie
15.   Green Book
16.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
17.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
18.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
19.   On My Skin
20.   Private Life
21.   Climax
22.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
23.   Mid90s
24.   Eighth Grade
25.   Sorry to Bother You
26.   Suspiria
27.   Vice
28.   The Old Man & the Gun
29.   Vox Lux
30.   Bad Times at the El Royale
31.   The Other Side of the Wind
32.   Searching
33.   A Simple Favor
34.   The Hate U Give
35.   Unsane
36.   Disobedience
37.   Boy Erased
38.   Bumblebee
39.   Mary Poppins Returns
40.   Creed II
41.   Hold the Dark
42.   The Land of Steady Habits
43.   Halloween
44.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
45.   Beirut
46.   Mary Queen of Scots
47.   Aquaman
48.   Outlaw King
49.   Overlord
50.   Ben Is Back
51.   Monsters and Men
52.   The Mule
53.   On the Basis of Sex
54.   Bohemian Rhapsody
55.   White Boy Rick 
56.   Papillon
57.   Game Night
58.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
59.   Instant Family
60.   Alpha
61.   The Front Runner
62.   The Predator
63.   Apostle
64.   The Angel
65.   The Commuter
66.   Beautiful Boy
67.   The Nun
68.   Operation Finale
69.   The Equalizer 2
70.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
71.   Yardie
72.   Bird Box
73.   12 Strong
74.   Venom
75.   Skyscraper
76.   The Meg
77.   Assassination Nation
78.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
79.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
80.   22 July
81.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
82.   The Little Stranger
83.   Tomb Raider
84.   Night School
85.   The 15:17 To Paris
86.   Peppermint
87.   Mile 22
88.   The First Purge
89.   Hunter Killer
90.   The Cloverfield Paradox
91.   Mute
92.   Kin
93.   Hell Fest
94.   Proud Mary
95.   Robin Hood
96.   The Happytime Murders
97.   The Outsider
98.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Gary

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #168 on: June 25, 2019, 08:29:45 AM »
Every time I see Jared Leto, I just get irritated. Also, this was originally supposed to star Tom Hardy and was also meant to be Takashi Miike's english language debut. What could have been.

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Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #169 on: June 25, 2019, 08:30:58 AM »
Every time I see Jared Leto, I just get irritated. Also, this was originally supposed to star Tom Hardy and was also meant to be Takashi Miike's english language debut. What could have been.

I'm glad they didn't do it because of how bad the script is. I don't see any way to elevate this material more than to around a 6.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Bladelock

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #170 on: June 25, 2019, 08:32:26 AM »
The script is bad, but Miike excels at crazy nonsense. So with him directing and an actual actor as lead it may have been salvaged to a 6.5

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #171 on: June 25, 2019, 06:24:43 PM »


Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017), directed by Luc Besson

In Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, we have a film that received some truly horrible reviews. I am curious to know why the lead actor was cast when everything was so obviously wrong with his casting, and why he wasn't replaced at any point during the film. High concept science-fiction has gone by the wayside because of how much it costs, because there is very little reward at the end of creating something original. The fact is that people don't really want to see original, huge budget science-fiction. I do not understand why someone would make this film with that in mind, but they did. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is adapted from a French graphic novel that I know absolutely nothing about, that I'm sure nobody else outside of Europe knew anything about either. Surely this could not have been something a person imagined would make so much money? Except, obviously they did, and when a film bombs to this extent there are major ramifications. As soon as the film bombed, Luc Besson was encountered with rape accusations, which I'm sure are true because they nearly always are, corroborated by multiple actresses who said the same thing. I am not sure what to think about that, but there is a trend that these accusations come out when someone's power and status has waned. Anyway, fuck this guy, but I'll still watch his movie because I'm curious. I'm going to see Anna as well because the preview interested me. But, as it comes to Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, I would say that someone should ignore the reviews and judge for themselves. A person may like this, or they may find the film far worse than what they thought it would be.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets boasts one of the most audacious film openings that I've ever seen, it's nearly impossible for me to describe what happened but I can tell you some of what happened. The film starts off at the point of our joint mission to space with the Soviets, and we establish the International Space Station some time after that. As that goes, along come races of different people from different parts of the galaxy, and they create a cluster of ships and technology. Once it becomes so enormous it may fall out of orbit, it is relocated to deep space and called Alpha. In the end, Alpha becomes inhabited by about 30 million people or so, who come from thousands of planets. The film subsequently kicks over to a planet which is clearly not Earth, called Mul. There are creatures who live on Mul, they fish for pearls that contain large amounts of energy, then there are small animals who ingest the pearls in order to replicate them. Wreckage from a battle above comes down through the sky, then an enormous spaceship falls and causes an explosion that pretty much serves to kill everything on the planet. A few of the people are able to trap themselves in a discarded vessel that had crashed on the planet some time before that, and they also trap themselves inside. Unfortunately, the princess of the planet does not make it, but she sends a telepathic message to someone.

The telepathic message is sent to Valerian (Dane DeHaan), a major in the United Human Federation. This is a world government formed by Earth's countries, it has been tasked with preserving peace across the galaxy. Major Valerian has a partner, Sergeant Laureline (Cara Delevingne), and she doesn't put up with his shit at all. He has a major crush on her, and this is one of the worst facets of the movie. They have a mission, even though he has received this signal across time and space. The mission is to retrieve a converter that is able to replicate anything it eats, and there's no surprise that this is the animal from Mul. The animal is one of a kind and owned by someone like Jabba the Hutt, Igon Siruss (voiced by John Goodman). For some insane reason, Valerian asks his partner to marry him and that's dropped on us out of nowhere, but she doesn't want to because he's a scum. When they arrive on the planet their mission takes place on, we learn that the converter absolutely is the animal seen in the mission. Here's the deal. Their commander is Arun Filitt (Clive Owen), he is stationed on Alpha. He says that the center of the station has been infected and is now toxic and the infection is growing. This converter is very important, but why? What is the infection in the first place?

You see, the plot for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is pretty much all over the place. I didn't know how to end my synopsis because it takes so long to get to the point of the film. You would have to be on LSD to come up with some of the shots and concepts seen in this film. The colors of everything, the ideas for these aliens, the costumes are all beyond ridiculous to an extent that is still impossible for me to believe. The side characters were far more excellent than the leads, which is another big problem. Dane DeHaan must have been asked to do a Keanu Reeves impression, and it was absolutely terrible on every level. The role desperately needed someone with the charisma to match the side characters played by people like Rihanna and Ethan Hawke. The lack of that just kills the plot absolutely dead, but this isn't a wonderful script in any way either. It takes far too long to get to the point and I thought there was some difficulty with tying everything together. There were loose ends left with the intention of creating a sequel, but I thought there were more than merely loose ends. The performance from DeHaan, I've already mentioned it but it defies description. The movie is so full of extraneous parts that everything he does is overshadowed and I'm left wanting to see more of those parts than I do him. The film is about what happens when groups of people come together, the cover-up that may result from doing bad things, but in the end it's mostly about Luc Besson wanting to dress people up about crazy costumes and go crazy with his CGI budget.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets should have been a good film. All the elements are here to ensure that's the case, but the title character and plot torpedo the shit out of that notion. I will admit that I could very easily have loved this film, but the stuff with Valerian himself is absolutely laughable on every level. I don't understand how someone could create a world that I perceive to be so interesting and bog it down with something so bad. I don't think the film would have been a success in any case, largely because when it comes to space epics, all people want is Star Wars. Nothing's going to change that either. Ultimately the film also drops too much information on the viewer, but in some ways that's appealing to me. Why? I can manage to keep up with it is why. I'm surprised that I agree with HQ in the case of a film such as this, but oddly enough I really do. There's a bit of camp in play here as well, and the film is too long, but again I appreciate that a film drops a lot of information on me when the information makes sense, which this does. The exposition is on point, but the lead character is not, and he's really bad. I don't know what to say about that, but Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets does receive a passing grade from me. What that means is, I could watch it again without changing the channel. The visual effects are enough on their own.

6/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Brad's Status
34.   Okja
35.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
36.   Kong: Skull Island
37.   It Comes at Night
38.   Crown Heights
39.   Split
40.   1922
41.   Personal Shopper
42.   Landline
43.   Beatriz at Dinner
44.   Chuck
45.   Atomic Blonde
46.   Shot Caller
47.   Brigsby Bear
48.   Wheelman
49.   The Lego Batman Movie
50.   Megan Leavey
51.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
52.   Marshall
53.   Menashe
54.   Walking Out
55.   American Made
56.   Annabelle: Creation
57.   Beauty and the Beast
58.   Imperial Dreams
59.   Gifted
60.   Murder on the Orient Express
61.   The Zookeeper's Wife
62.   The Glass Castle
63.   Free Fire
64.   Win It All
65.   The Wall
66.   Life
67.   My Cousin Rachel
68.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
69.   Breathe
70.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
71.   Maudie
72.   Sleight
73.   Alone in Berlin
74.   A United Kingdom
75.   Trespass Against Us
76.   The Mountain Between Us
77.   War Machine
78.   Happy Death Day
79.   Lowriders
80.   Justice League
81.   To the Bone
82.   Ghost in the Shell
83.   Wakefield
84.   Bright
85.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
86.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
87.   The Mummy
88.   The Greatest Showman
89.   Rough Night
90.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
91.   Sand Castle
92.   The Circle
93.   American Assassin
94.   CHiPs
95.   Death Note
96.   The Belko Experiment
97.   The Great Wall
98.   Fist Fight
99.   Baywatch
100.   Snatched
101.   Wilson
102.   The Dark Tower
103.   Queen of the Desert
104.   The House
105.   Flatliners
106.   Sleepless
107.   All Eyez on Me
108.   The Book of Henry
109.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Harley Quinn

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #172 on: June 25, 2019, 11:55:56 PM »
That's one of the few films that I genuinely don't understand how anybody can give it a 4/10 or lower type score. The plot is messy, the lead actor is one of the worst casting decisions in a movie, but the visuals and the ambition are just so larger than life that it has to count for something.

I've also noticed Besson has this weird thing about casting... flat actors in general for his films. Even going back to Leon and The Fifth Element, while good actors in Jean Reno & Bruce Willis, they've never resonated with me as super charismatic. Especially opposite Gary Oldman or Chris Tucker and even Natalie Portman (IMO) had a bigger vibe when on screen with Reno. Then you follow that up with the casting of Jet Li in Unleashed opposite a fun performance from Bob Hoskins to the casting of Scarlett Johansson in Lucy and it becomes a noticeable casting quirk of his.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #173 on: June 27, 2019, 11:07:47 AM »


Leave No Trace (2018), directed by Debra Granik

When I first started going to the theater, I had badly wanted to see Leave No Trace. Ben Foster in a realistic drama? Sounded great to me. The problem was that there wasn't any theater near me showing the film, therefore I never saw it. It took until now, this long point of working through a backlog, to finally get something I'd wanted to watch for nearly a whole year. Was it worth it? That's something I can answer in the affirmative, this was a quality film the whole way around. There's a lot that goes into making a film like this one, I didn't initially know that Leave No Trace was adapted from a book, but I was going to say that it takes a very intelligent original script. The film also requires the subject to be handled with the care it deserves, for there to not be anything unrealistic in the film. Everything must remain grounded, when a wrench is thrown into the mix it needs to be for a damn good reason. Leave No Trace didn't have the emotional impact on me that it seemed to have on a lot of other people, but as I sit here longer and longer, the more impact the film seems to have had. Leave No Trace is rather unique in that it approaches a problem not yet addressed by media in the aftermath of our wars, of a homeless crisis that is wildly unreported upon, and the subject itself is one that explains why some people do this to themselves. The question one must pose to themselves when they decide to watch a movie is what they hope to get from it. If the answer is something realistic, something that feels real, made with craft and care, then you should probably watch Leave No Trace.

The setting is Portland, Oregon. Will (Ben Foster) is an Iraq War veteran who has major PTSD, he and his 13 year old daughter Tom (Thomasin McKenzie) live in a public park that could best be described as the woods. I don't actually know where this is, and I can't admit to knowing anything about Portland in the first place. Their life is rather easy even though they live outdoors. They catch rain water and drink it, they play games like chess and Tom learns how to read and write. This is a choice on Will's part because he cannot handle society, it's simple as that. The details are not filled in, but that's more because the viewer does not need to know all of them in order to get the picture. Will and Tom sometimes walk down into Portland when they need more food to store, but they do eat well. Will needs money to do that, obviously, but he manages by selling his VA-issued medications to veterans who want and need them. The medication does not help him, so he doesn't take it. He still suffers from dreams at night, waking up to the sound of helicopters, who knows what he did overseas. Tom is educated even though she does not school, and they do drills during the day to ensure they are not caught. The problem with this is that they did not account for one thing. One day, Tom is reading out in the woods and a jogger hears her. When the jogger hears her, here comes the police. With the police comes a dog who can sniff the two out, which was not expected. Will is summarily arrested.

When Will is arrested, this is not good, the crime is that they were living on public land. Rather ironic considering that public land is supposed to be owned by the people, and that they were living safely. The question, obviously, is whether or not Tom was receiving the proper care a child deserves. Someone who lives outdoors cannot possibly be cared for properly. The two are taken to Social Services, where both are questioned about their lives. There are questions that Will simply cannot answer about his psychological state, but he is a veteran and this is to be expected of our veterans. The woman questioning Tom finds that she is cared for and educated, so there's no need to separate the two. The way it goes is that a farmer, Mr. Walters (Jeff Kober), he had seen their story on the news and was interested in helping. They are given a vacant house out in rural Oregon and things that will help them build their life back together. Will is given a job packing Christmas trees and Tom is supposed to go back to school. Helicopters are required to transport these trees, which Will simply cannot handle. They are also asked to go to church and deal with other people, but Will has problems with social interaction and can't take very much of that either. Even though Tom makes a friend while out one day, that simply isn't going to last. Will cannot stay in the house and Tom is his daughter. With no destination clear in mind to travel to, Will decides they should leave the house.

I usually say that a film picks up after a certain point, but when it comes to Leave No Trace that point never comes because the film already started at an elevated level. The ending of the story, such as it is, is rather sad. I have read a good complaint about Leave No Trace that I can't automatically disagree with, but I don't feel like posting it as it will taint my review. What I thought was that Leave No Trace was a great achievement in screenwriting, and that this film has been heavily ignored despite its accessible subject matter. Once again, we have a case of a movie that is tied to something very important and people don't want to watch it. In this case, the homeless crisis and how we treat our veterans is in play, but the veteran is given his medication and does not want to take it. So, to me this is more about the causes that lead to homelessness and how people deal with that. Some people, sad as it is, cannot be helped. There is no logical reason for this. The film is inherently sad as a result of this, and Leave No Trace makes no large statement attempting to solve these problems, it merely shows them to you. In showing them to you, they feel more important. There's absolutely nothing here that I would classify as being goofy. I think I am going to wind up haunted by this film, it has brought my mood down from excellent to dreary and an hour later those feelings are not gone. We'll see what I really think tomorrow.

Now that it is tomorrow, I find that the craft of the film also matches the sensitivity of the subject it handles. The cinematography is excellent, and you'd think that a film full of greenery would automatically bring that to the table, but they don't. Into the Forest is one notable example of a film that does not. The great cinematography is also not just in the forest, that would be absurd. There is one notable shot inside of the house that I thought exemplified what it would be like to tame a wild man. Will is sat on a couch wearing normal clothes that frankly look like shit and don't suit him, waiting for a daughter to come home when this was never a problem before, crawling inside of his skin because he can't handle it. The space which the character is allowed is not existent in the scenes when they are living in the woods. Anyway, I know the director has created two nicely acclaimed films before, but I have not watched either of them. I really need to because it feels like everything in her film mattered and had importance. I wouldn't say I enjoyed the story, rather I fully engaged in the experience of it and felt the lows. This is a great film, probably one of the best of 2018 even though I'm nowhere near finished with the year. There were things I missed in theater, foreign films that have value, and other films that came out before I started going. I do expect this will land somewhere in the top 20 once I've completed this list, though.

9/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Beirut
47.   Mary Queen of Scots
48.   Aquaman
49.   Outlaw King
50.   Overlord
51.   Ben Is Back
52.   Monsters and Men
53.   The Mule
54.   On the Basis of Sex
55.   Bohemian Rhapsody
56.   White Boy Rick 
57.   Papillon
58.   Game Night
59.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
60.   Instant Family
61.   Alpha
62.   The Front Runner
63.   The Predator
64.   Apostle
65.   The Angel
66.   The Commuter
67.   Beautiful Boy
68.   The Nun
69.   Operation Finale
70.   The Equalizer 2
71.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
72.   Yardie
73.   Bird Box
74.   12 Strong
75.   Venom
76.   Skyscraper
77.   The Meg
78.   Assassination Nation
79.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
80.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
81.   22 July
82.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
83.   The Little Stranger
84.   Tomb Raider
85.   Night School
86.   The 15:17 To Paris
87.   Peppermint
88.   Mile 22
89.   The First Purge
90.   Hunter Killer
91.   The Cloverfield Paradox
92.   Mute
93.   Kin
94.   Hell Fest
95.   Proud Mary
96.   Robin Hood
97.   The Happytime Murders
98.   The Outsider
99.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #174 on: June 27, 2019, 06:37:24 PM »


Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond – Featuring a Very Special, Contractually Obligated Mention of Tony Clifton (2017), directed by Chris Smith

Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond is a documentary I wasn't too sure that I should watch. I have not seen Man on the Moon, but it turns out that seeing the film is not a deterrent to watch the documentary. I'm going to be shorter than usual because there's no reason to set anything up. The film is about Jim Carrey's decision to method act as Andy Kaufman. The film decides to focus on how zany and goofy it was rather than the actual impact of his method acting and how harmful it was both to himself and to the other people on set. I am perhaps not the best person to talk about this film after the fact because I already did a lot of my talking while I was watching things. The film is largely made up of unearthed footage from the shooting of Man on the Moon, but there are two other factors. Effectively this is a documentary about Jim Carrey, one which is narrated by himself in both the past and present. The documentary is also directed by someone who has a clear fascination with Jim Carrey, he has included a lot of things that I found amusing, but those things also serve to muddy the picture up and distort what I thought the documentary should be about.

Ultimately, the focus of the documentary is wrong. I think this is a good documentary because the footage from Jim's past is illuminating, it lets us know what kind of person that he is and how committed he was to his craft. This, however, is not a good thing. There is no reason to take method acting to this extent, this is also not a proper application of the medium. There is nothing in method acting that states you are supposed to be a cunt to everyone you're involved with. Was Andy Kaufman? I don't know, but there's something to be said about separating yourself from a character. If Daniel Day Lewis was playing a bad person, there's no requirement for him to go out and kill someone. The problem with the documentary is that the director is incapable of making this distinction where the method acting of Carrey playing Kaufman and Tony Clifton is not just a joke gone bad, but a joke gone offensively wrong beyond repair. It's not a joke at all, the movie shouldn't be about Jim Carrey being so zany because he became Andy Kaufman, but the director is incapable of making that more clear. I thought Jim Carrey was actually trying to say that, but he's either too much of a narcissist to know how, or the director did a poor job of making that clear with some of the background footage he was showing. I haven't decided yet.

There are other issues with method acting as it relates to a dead comedian. When the joke goes too far, it's way too far. Kaufman's family member who was on set found it cathartic, but the other actors who knew Kaufman certainly did not. There's a bit of gall to act like such a douchebag when there were people on set who knew Kaufman. The stuff with Jerry Lawler was absolutely ridiculous and stupid, but I think there's something more insipid about that than meets the eye. There are scenes where people are goading Carrey into saying bad things about himself under the guise of being Kaufman, and that's where I found some poignancy in the film. Carrey seemed a bit unable to admit that to himself when talking in the present about this, and while the whole situation as engineered was certainly his fault, the encouragement people were giving him to destroy his own mental stability is rather beyond the pale. The way people would laugh at Carrey as Kaufman saying horrible things about Jim Carrey was rather sad. I think the documentary is good even though the director seems to not realize that.

I also think that a lot of the people who reviewed Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond seemed to land on the side of the director and not quite understand what they were watching. There are certainly ways to say this is a bad documentary. Jim Carrey is an asshole and there is nothing good about what he was doing, end of story. In that way, it is illuminating because we see the side of method acting that we haven't often seen before, method acting gone wrong. The whole documentary is rather surreal. Let me explain what I mean. The focus of the documentary is off to the point where a magazine wrote this in their review:

"Jim & Andy is fascinating, but it lands on a weird message: Thank goodness Andy Kaufman existed so Jim Carrey could play him in a movie."

Doesn't everyone see the sickness in an industry where someone can type that out with a straight face and mean it? The problem with this documentary is that the director is unable to pose those questions to Carrey, because he's intimidated by someone he thinks is a comedic genius or because he knows Jim wouldn't answer them. I don't know which is true. That's what's wrong with this documentary. Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond could have been an all-time classic documentary though. What was needed was for someone to push the right buttons, and those buttons were there to be pushed in order to make Jim Carrey answer why he did these things when filming Man on the Moon. It seems to me that his sadness and mental problems are of his own creation, but that's a question I have that will remain unanswered. If every documentary was like this, where the director incorrectly focused on someone being wacky instead of why they were driven to do these things, that wouldn't be so great. The counter is that there's so much enlightening material, it takes the viewer deep behind the curtain to see the production of a film that sounded thoroughly unbearable to be a part of. For that reason alone, I liked it.

7/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #175 on: June 28, 2019, 08:13:05 AM »
I thought it was great, personally. Carrey likes to pontificate and sound like the smartest guy in the room these days, sure, but here's a piece that steps into not only a case of method acting gone mad but the mentality of those who even go method. Add in some really solemn moments as Jim talks about those he loved who died and it becomes clear that we're not watching a doc about an actor playing a role, we're seeing the consequences of forcing identity instead of allowing it to develop.

Offline The Valeyard

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #176 on: June 28, 2019, 10:31:21 AM »
I disagree completely, but you knew that. 3 points too high, at best.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #177 on: June 30, 2019, 06:03:02 AM »


Ideal Home (2018), directed by Andrew Fleming

Ideal Home is a movie that I didn't know existed until I was alerted that it would be expiring from HBO in July, at which point I Googled the thing and found out what I wanted to know. Onto my list it went. Ideal Home is a very standard concept movie, one that you'd think you'd seen before except you haven't seen it in this context. It's cool that the film was made in this context. I found the characters to be incredibly realistic instead of being stereotypes as often happens in movies with gay men. I'm not a huge fan of Paul Rudd, but his performance here was pretty good and he reminded me of what my brother will be like when he's older. That's a strange thing to say about a movie, when someone looks enough like my brother where I can feel that as things are playing out. I am not sure that has ever happened before, that a character felt like it represented him. So, on some level you can see what I think about this movie and I am going to give it a nice score as a result of that. This is the kind of movie that feels like a diversity movie and is still good, contains its own story and is not trying to send a message to the viewer. At the end you should just feel that way anyway because it is the rational way to think. After the day I had, spending time with my brother, to come home and watch this was strange and oddly cool. There weren't movies like this one a very short time ago.

Paul (Paul Rudd) and  Erasmus (Steve Coogan) are a gay couple who lives in New Mexico. They both work together on a cooking show that Erasmus hosts, it is similar to Rachael Ray's show. One time when Erasmus was young, he had a heterosexual encounter with a woman who decided to have their baby, who was named Beau (Jake McDorman). Beau had a son of his own (Jack Gore), they are camped out in a motel in Albuquerque. The reason for that is because Beau beat up a hooker and has serious substance abuse problems. Anyway, Beau is about to be arrested, he has no wife because she died due to substance abuse issues, but he doesn't want his son to wind up with CPS. So, he shoves him out of a window with Bible in hand, some money, and some directions. Of course, the kid winds up with Paul and Erasmus. Erasmus has never met Beau before, nor met Beau's son, so he's not entirely sure of what's going on until he reads a note. Beau winds up in prison, and there's not all that much to this story. First, the couple needs to figure out the kid's name. His name is Angel, he prefers to be called Bill because he hates his name. They also have to learn how to take care of the kid because they've never done that before. Of course, their relationship also has some issues.

There isn't much to the film beyond what I've already said in these two paragraphs. I've been trying very hard to shorten reviews of films that aren't great and aren't poor, I still haven't figured out how I'm going to do that. I'm trying and that day is coming though. What I thought was that there are very few depictions of a realistically gay couple. Almost every gay character, including those played by gay men, has to be stereotypically gay in some way. That doesn't really exist here, and because of that I liked the film even though it's a rather generic comedy. The events are predictable but there are interesting variations on the story, in large part due to the performances of our two leads. Rudd and Coogan make for a funny couple and I wasn't expecting that at all. These guys tried very hard to make things work, I appreciated it. There aren't many side characters as I think I've made clear, the only one I didn't mention was Melissa (Alison Pill), who was a CPS agent doing the things you expect in this kind of movie. That's it though. I laughed a lot as this story played out. So, I thought it was good, not great, not poor. This is a short review because of the content of the movie, but I need to figure out a way to shorten nearly all of them to this extent. I just haven't figured out how.

7/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Beirut
47.   Mary Queen of Scots
48.   Aquaman
49.   Ideal Home
50.   Outlaw King
51.   Overlord
52.   Ben Is Back
53.   Monsters and Men
54.   The Mule
55.   On the Basis of Sex
56.   Bohemian Rhapsody
57.   White Boy Rick 
58.   Papillon
59.   Game Night
60.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
61.   Instant Family
62.   Alpha
63.   The Front Runner
64.   The Predator
65.   Apostle
66.   The Angel
67.   The Commuter
68.   Beautiful Boy
69.   The Nun
70.   Operation Finale
71.   The Equalizer 2
72.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
73.   Yardie
74.   Bird Box
75.   12 Strong
76.   Venom
77.   Skyscraper
78.   The Meg
79.   Assassination Nation
80.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
81.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
82.   22 July
83.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
84.   The Little Stranger
85.   Tomb Raider
86.   Night School
87.   The 15:17 To Paris
88.   Peppermint
89.   Mile 22
90.   The First Purge
91.   Hunter Killer
92.   The Cloverfield Paradox
93.   Mute
94.   Kin
95.   Hell Fest
96.   Proud Mary
97.   Robin Hood
98.   The Happytime Murders
99.   The Outsider
100.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Baby Shoes

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #178 on: June 30, 2019, 07:19:30 AM »
Strange coincidence, I was looking through my HBO recordings on my DVR the other night and watched Ideal Home a few nights ago too.  Think you summed it up well.  I had a few good laughs, I enjoyed it but there was nothing special or of major substance to it.  Glad it wasn’t a stereotype parade and I have a soft spot for some of the cast.  The kid was played by the main child from that Kids Are Alright sitcom and a bit of a different role, so was interesting watching him play a completely different character.
[img width=800

Quote
Fan: WHY CAN REY BEAT BIG GUYS BUT NOT KIDMAN
Kevin Nash: Kidman wears a wife beater

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #179 on: June 30, 2019, 06:30:29 PM »
Strange coincidence, I was looking through my HBO recordings on my DVR the other night and watched Ideal Home a few nights ago too.  Think you summed it up well.  I had a few good laughs, I enjoyed it but there was nothing special or of major substance to it.  Glad it wasn’t a stereotype parade and I have a soft spot for some of the cast.  The kid was played by the main child from that Kids Are Alright sitcom and a bit of a different role, so was interesting watching him play a completely different character.

I thought it was generic in all but the realism of it. There are basically no comedy movies with gay people that have the catty realistic behavior that exists in a relationship with two men. It's always way overboard, but these two reminded me so much of my brother and his fiance.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #180 on: June 30, 2019, 06:31:05 PM »


Traffik (2018), directed by Deon Taylor

I should have known that the man who directed a trash fest like The Intruder had made something even worse before that. The best you could say about Deon Taylor is that he's learning from his mistakes and that the film from last year is much worse than the one from this year. The problem is that Traffik still exists on the same plane and in the same universe as every other movie. It's bad, really bad. There's an opening screen where it is claimed that Traffik is inspired by true events, which is an absolutely insipid lie that the filmmaker uses to make an absolute disaster of a film. I actually cannot believe that even Lionsgate would allow the movie to be released with that screen at the start of it. It's unbelievable. When you're making something bad, there's a benefit to having the gall to make crazy claims, but when you're making a film about human trafficking, that's not the time to do so. The subject is handled with a complete lack of care, and in some ways that's hilarious while in others it is not. It's a new genre where movies are made to exploit people's racism for a cheap thrill, or a subgenre, or you know, something. This is a movie I would consider to be in that category, where it plays on people's assumptions of racism or on the expectation of delivering it throughout the film. It's really strange, I honestly don't know what to think of that aspect of Traffik. I just know the film is bad. It is very very bad.

Brea (Paula Patton) is a journalist in Sacramento who works for a paper edited by Carl (William Fichtner). Carl has received a story from another reporter who wrote it faster than Brea, it's a pretty good story I guess. When Brea complains, Carl threatens to fire her because her work was just going to be a fluff piece. Afterwards, Brea goes out and we get to meet some friends. There's her boyfriend John (Omar Epps), and another couple, Darren (Laz Alonso) and Malia (Roselyn Sanchez). Darren is a bit aggressive in all forms and conversations, and he's a bit antsy to talk. He tells Brea that John has a surprise planned, a getaway weekend that John has not yet mentioned. You know, whatever. While in the bathroom, Brea says that she thinks John is going to propose, but she doesn't want to get married. This is the most standard, most basic, most lazy setup scenario for the movie that is to come. I still haven't figured out the significance of the first few scenes other than that it needs to be established she is a journalist. There are many better ways of doing that, but Traffik is not a film where that comes into play. Also, obviously, John does intend to propose because his girlfriend is gorgeous. No surprise there.

Apparently John and Brea had a fight, but we are only shown flashbacks of that. When John comes back from wherever he went, he has a classic car that was apparently Brea's dream car, which he had built in his shop before their vacation. How nice. While on their way into the Sierra Nevadas, they have sex in the car and do all kinds of shit that feels like a sleazy director filming these things. This happens over and over again, by the way. When they stop at a gas station, they encounter some weird biker fucks. There's a lot of them. First Brea runs into Red (Luke Goss) and spills stuff all over him, after which he buys her order. Then, in the bathroom, Brea meets Cara (Dawn Olivieri), an abused looking woman who also looks like she's on a lot of drugs. While that's going on, a biker is bothering John outside. John punches the guy in the face, after which the sheriff (Missi Pyle) comes over and breaks things up, sending everyone on their way. After that, we get some stuff on their way to the house, but John and Brea eventually arrive. Darren and Malia are supposed to arrive in a few days, but it turns out that they arrive much sooner. So, everything's good. The issue is that when John punched that biker, he created a shitstorm, and it is the job of Traffik to resolve that in a goofy and very shitty way.

The movie flat out sucks, I already mentioned what I thought about the tie to human trafficking, in a word it's very tasteless. The eroticism of the movie is funny, and it's interesting because of how Paula Patton looks, but this ties into the theme in a way that I don't really think is acceptable. I can admit that too. If you don't know what's going to happen as the film is playing out, I can only assume that you've never watched a movie before. When it comes to people going up to a house and attacking people, and them having to escape from that house and go on the run, everything in this is exactly what you'd think. I straight out did not like this and thought The Intruder was a lot better. The differences are pretty clear, The Intruder is largely confined to a house and committed to building tension, Traffik drops all kinds of shit on the viewer and you have to deal with it any way you can. For example, I didn't understand how Brea was able to crack the code on a phone until about 30 minutes after I finished the film. So, make of that what you want. Traffik also has horrible reviews, so it isn't just me who thinks this is a shitty film. It's pretty poorly made too.

I'm kind of sick of movies that play on racial problems that are fitting of a Trump era, because almost all of them are done in the most lazy way imaginable. When the movie finally starts taking the subject matter seriously after showing you tits and ass for almost a whole hour, I don't know what gives here. What can you say about something like that? The ending screen with all the statistics about human trafficking is one of the best delusions I've ever seen. What can possibly lead anyone to believe their movie was really about making people aware of human trafficking? Give me a break. All the performances here are horrible, no exception. The director is absolute trash on all levels. There is a scene here that uses Nina Simone's music, where she's talking about lynched black people as Brea is captured by Missi Pyle. Like, what? That shit is unconscionable, but as always when I see things that make me feel that emotion, I did laugh a little bit. The balls to make something like this, I don't even know what to say. The way everything plays out, it all happens instantly from one scene to the next as well. As soon as Brea finds a phone with pictures of beaten women (who has those), she unlocks it and looks through it, immediately after which someone comes knocking on the door looking for the phone. Give me a break. I think the director is just too stupid to know what they're actually doing, I don't know how this was even made. I should note that due to how ridiculous the movie was, I never got bored. That has to count for something.

3/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Beirut
47.   Mary Queen of Scots
48.   Aquaman
49.   Ideal Home
50.   Outlaw King
51.   Overlord
52.   Ben Is Back
53.   Monsters and Men
54.   The Mule
55.   On the Basis of Sex
56.   Bohemian Rhapsody
57.   White Boy Rick 
58.   Papillon
59.   Game Night
60.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
61.   Instant Family
62.   Alpha
63.   The Front Runner
64.   The Predator
65.   Apostle
66.   The Angel
67.   The Commuter
68.   Beautiful Boy
69.   The Nun
70.   Operation Finale
71.   The Equalizer 2
72.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
73.   Yardie
74.   Bird Box
75.   12 Strong
76.   Venom
77.   Skyscraper
78.   The Meg
79.   Assassination Nation
80.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
81.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
82.   22 July
83.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
84.   The Little Stranger
85.   Tomb Raider
86.   Night School
87.   The 15:17 To Paris
88.   Peppermint
89.   Mile 22
90.   The First Purge
91.   Hunter Killer
92.   The Cloverfield Paradox
93.   Mute
94.   Kin
95.   Hell Fest
96.   Proud Mary
97.   Robin Hood
98.   Traffik
99.   The Happytime Murders
100.   The Outsider
101.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #181 on: July 01, 2019, 06:49:32 PM »


Stronger (2017), directed by David Gordon Green

I've already watched one movie about the Boston Marathon bombing, it was Patriots Day. Patriots Day was about the investigation of, the things leading to, and events after the bombing, with Mark Wahlberg basically serving as the eyes of the audience, following everything around but not really making an impact on the story. Stronger is about something a lot different, the kind of thing that a disaster should be about. Making a movie about one of the victims can be considered to be in poor taste, particularly when that victim dies, but in this case the movie is entirely about the victim and their struggle after having been bombed. The movie could have went deeper, but I think this was careful in ensuring that it did not make someone out to be a hero when they'd had their legs blown off. A lot of people who say things like BOSTON STRONG in the aftermath of bombings neglect the feelings of the victims, they engaged in the tragedy like it actually happened to them, but people should be aware that it did not. This is the kind of movie that people should watch in order to have some level of understanding about the tragedy. Instead, people did not watch this, Stronger only grossed $4.2 million in North America. That's rather paltry by modern standards, and certainly the film cost a decent amount to make. For what it's worth, Patriots Day didn't make anything either. People do not have the hunger to relive tragedy, but studios believe that we do. It is one of many examples of Hollywood being out of touch.

Stronger begins in a Costco somewhere in Boston, the story being centered around Jeff Bauman (Jake Gyllenhaal). Jeff is a guy who is probably to good to be working in the Costco deli, but I did something like that before and feel like that's the land of underachievement. That's what we do. He lives in a small apartment with his alcoholic, chain smoking mom Patty (Miranda Richardson), and this does not seem to be the greatest existence. The guy drinks a lot too, I wouldn't go so far as to call him an alcoholic, but they showed one scene and I noticed it. Anyway, at a bar, he learns that his ex-girlfriend Erin (Tatiana Maslany) is running in the Boston Marathon. She's raising money for the hospital she works at, and Jeff is definitely down with supporting that. He has what seems to be an ulterior motive though, he wants to get back with Erin. No big shock there. He heads to the finish line the next day to wait for her with a big sign, but as you know, bad shit happens. The Marathon is bombed, Jeff's legs come clean off. He is saved by Carlos (Carlos Sanz), but the best way to describe this in Jeff's mind is that he was "saved". I don't know how a person moves forward from this, I don't think I would have the mental strength to carry on. That's where the inspiration in this film comes from, but there's quite a bit more to go.

As expected after the bombing, Erin did not make it to the finish line. She sees Jeff as a victim on television and jets to the hospital, along with the rest of Jeff's family. Jeff Sr. (Clancy Brown) is his father, and he has a lot of good lines as these things play out. The Bauman family is typically Bostonian. You could call them endearing or white trash, that's up for you to decide. They like to yell at the television a lot. Anyway, Erin arrives at the hospital and somehow manages to sit through this. Eventually, Jeff regains consciousness and is able to tell the FBI about the bomber, the one he saw being the older brother Tamerlan. After a while, Jeff is discharged from the hospital, but picking up and carrying on after an event like this is extremely hard. His mother drinks a lot, as already mentioned, so that's easy for Jeff to fall back into. There are also mental problems that come with experiencing being bombed. This adjustment would be too hard for me. The other fact is that his life as he knew it was over. He could not walk, could not drive, could not do anything without a lot of help. Going to the bathroom is difficult and the way everything is structured leads to someone having accidents. Getting up and down the stairs to his apartment is very painful. His mother is not cooperative and wants him to do things that a bombing victim does not want to do. He has to go through very painful rehab. But, there's Erin. She loves him and feels bad for him. I didn't understood what he thought of her until much later in this film.

I don't think this is a recovery story wrapped around a romance story, the film is rather tough viewing. Stronger is one of those very realistic stories that deals with the idea of being in a wheelchair as you would believe it to be. A person may get shit on themselves and have to dive into the bathtub without help. This would be very difficult. When losing control of one's faculties by getting drunk, it's a much worse situation. I do have high standards for a film like this one and I have expectations of it. The ending of the film does not quite meet my expectations even though the events contained in it are certainly true to reality. This is a very strong performance from Gyllenhaal, Maslany, and Richardson. To play an alcoholic mother interested in pimping your disabled kid out for television fame requires some very good range and acting talent. To play an amputee and make someone believe that this person could have no legs, that's a tough ask as well. The film also realistically handles the reality that being this disabled creates a burden for the people tasked with providing care for their loved one. The focus is well placed on these things, and of being unable to deal with the notoriety that comes with having ones legs blown off in a very public and prominent terrorist attack.

I think where Stronger has strengths beyond what I've already mentioned, is in things like the Boston Strong mindset, or the reality that someone has to put up with when this happened to them and they aren't independently wealthy. Life becomes more difficult than can possibly be described, but Stronger does a good job of this. I don't care for the ending as I already said, but the film has a raw quality that I couldn't look away from and can't describe. You'd have to see it to understand what I meant. The director is also careful to ensure that the scenes are given the time required for a person to understand a legless reality. When Jeff gets in the bathtub, or goes to take a shit and falls down, all of these things take a very long time. It's not enough that someone is a symbol of how tough a city is, their reality is that they are struggling and a lot of douchebags would rather puff out their chest because their city is tough. Stronger didn't make money in some part because it doesn't appeal to that mindset, likely because the film wasn't released quickly enough after the bombing, and because a lot of these realistic dramas don't catch people's attentions. This is the kind of story about an attack that more people should watch. The badness of the ending is in that we're given a lot of those platitudes about how life moves on, but it doesn't and I don't like the idea that someone may come to grips with themselves. The ending also rings hollow when you know that Jeff and Erin's relationship fell apart.

7.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Marshall
54.   Menashe
55.   Walking Out
56.   American Made
57.   Annabelle: Creation
58.   Beauty and the Beast
59.   Imperial Dreams
60.   Gifted
61.   Murder on the Orient Express
62.   The Zookeeper's Wife
63.   The Glass Castle
64.   Free Fire
65.   Win It All
66.   The Wall
67.   Life
68.   My Cousin Rachel
69.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
70.   Breathe
71.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
72.   Maudie
73.   Sleight
74.   Alone in Berlin
75.   A United Kingdom
76.   Trespass Against Us
77.   The Mountain Between Us
78.   War Machine
79.   Happy Death Day
80.   Lowriders
81.   Justice League
82.   To the Bone
83.   Ghost in the Shell
84.   Wakefield
85.   Bright
86.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
87.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
88.   The Mummy
89.   The Greatest Showman
90.   Rough Night
91.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
92.   Sand Castle
93.   The Circle
94.   American Assassin
95.   CHiPs
96.   Death Note
97.   The Belko Experiment
98.   The Great Wall
99.   Fist Fight
100.   Baywatch
101.   Snatched
102.   Wilson
103.   The Dark Tower
104.   Queen of the Desert
105.   The House
106.   Flatliners
107.   Sleepless
108.   All Eyez on Me
109.   The Book of Henry
110.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #182 on: July 02, 2019, 06:43:20 PM »
Potential for Endgame spoilers here, but you really shouldn't be reading these if you haven't seen it.



Furious 7 (2015), directed by James Wan

I'm running out of things to say at the opening of reviews for movies in this franchise. I guess I'll start with Paul Walker. As everyone knows, Walker died during filming of Furious 7, which was a situation I'm sure brought bad feelings to production. I didn't act in this movie, but it would prove very difficult to make it through without tears if I was a person who worked on it and worked with him. I thought the production handled the situation with the care that was required. I did notice that the shots with Walker's face were visual effects, but with advancement in technology I didn't realize it until the very end of the film. There are many tricks that were used here in order to ensure that people did not treat this the same way that the character of Livia Soprano was treated. What I'm trying to say is that the CGI was fantastic, the people playing body doubles did an excellent job and actually felt like Paul Walker. The most strange thing about his death is the way he died while doing something befitting of his character, feeling like he had become his character. I don't exactly have the words to describe how I feel about that, but it's different. When exactly did he become so interested in cars? I don't have the answer to that, or at least I don't know it, but it's something I would like to know. It's also interesting in that the franchise primarily consists of people who haven't done anything with their careers outside of the franchise. I think people get worked into treating these productions like they're real, but I think that's part of what makes the franchise feel important. Anyway, I only have one more film to go before the spin-off that premieres next month, and once I'm done I'll create a ranking of some sort.

Where do you even start with this kind of thing? Furious 7 begins with Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) in a hospital bed, comatose after what happened in the previous film. Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) is his brother, he is intent on seeking revenge. To show what he can do, a destroyed emergency room lays in his wake as he leaves. Meanwhile, THE FAMILY has returned to Los Angeles. There's Dom (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker), Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Tej (Ludacris), and Mia (Jordana Brewster) of course. Mia and Brian now have a son, as we know, and there's some timeline sorting out that has to be done. It needs to be explained what happened to Han (Sung Kang), and bringing the timeline together is really important. When Han and Deckard were shown together at the end of the previous film, Deckard had made some plans of his own. He has sent a package from Tokyo to Los Angeles, it is a bomb, and it destroys the house we have seen in film after film. At the same time, Han is killed, bringing the timeline together. Only took four films after the third one. Of course, Dom has to travel to Tokyo in search of answers, revenge is going to be on the mind. Too many funerals is one of the lines said here. On his trip, we finally re-encounter some of the characters from Tokyo Drift, bringing things full circle. The answers Dom seeks, he does not find.

Meanwhile, there's Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Hobbs didn't go anywhere himself. He's still pushing on with his job, but it's getting boring, nothing as fun as what he was doing during the events of the previous film. That is, until the film picks up, because of course that's how things work. It turns out that Deckard Shaw is in his office, and he's looking for revenge. You don't miss with family, whether it's THE FAMILY or HIS FAMILY. His attack leaves Hobbs in the hospital, defeated but not dead. Of course, everyone closes ranks and it's time to get shit done. During Han's funeral, there's someone spying on them, and of course it's Deckard. Dom gives chase, there's a fight, and all of a sudden a black ops team comes shooting their way into the fight. They are led by Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell), and he has an idea. He says that he will help Dom in killing Deckard if he does something. The goal is to retrieve God's Eye, which is a program that would serve as an extreme government surveillance measure. This thing uses digital devices to track a person down, and the mission is to retrieve Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel). Ramsey is a hacker, she created the program and has been captured by a mercenary/terrorist, Mose Jakande (Djimon Hounsou). If THE FAMILY does that? They get what they want, they kill Deckard, and they'll be safe. Or will they? You'd think Deckard knows what's going on and will do his best to stop them.

The absolute ridiculousness of Furious 7 is something I believe should be applauded. I felt like this was a film so corny that it could have been conceived in the 1980s. I don't know what comes next in the last film, but obviously, I liked this. It took me some time to come around to it, but once things started to click, the scenes flowed together very smoothly. This isn't as strong as the fifth of sixth entry, but it's good enough that it does rate with them. The franchise is so absurd that when a car flies through three skyscrapers, you're actually expecting it and hopeful the scene turns out the way you want it to. There is very little logic to this, it is entertainment given in the most crowd pleasing way possible. I don't think there's much description required when it comes to a movie like this, and I don't need to tell you what I liked and didn't like. I liked everything after the film got past Han's funeral. It's as simple as that. Beyond the action scenes, there's a plot that works for me, and the fact that the actor who died got a great sendoff/tribute is part of the glue in ensuring that this all comes together. Everything here is exactly what you want, unless it turns out that you don't like this franchise at all, in which case you probably never will.

When it comes to some guy, like myself, who watched these characters for the first time when I was 14 years old, this is the kind of franchise that has some real poignancy. Nothing about these stories should lead to me becoming attached to these characters. My problem was that I never bothered to watch the other films because I couldn't imagine they would live up to the image I had planted in my head. They've surpassed that though, they absolutely have. The scene with Statham and Johnson wasn't exactly what I would have wanted it to be, but those aren't the characters I'm attached to. Truthfully I could go for a movie without them, and in 2020 that's exactly what we're going to get. I don't know what to expect, we'll find out, but I can't wait to see that. That isn't to say I'm not looking forward to Hobbs & Shaw, because I absolutely am. It just isn't what I saw when I was still a kid, when I was still able to become attached to multiple characters in a series. I didn't feel anything like that during Avengers: Endgame when one of the characters died, but another one left me floored and feeling like I'd just seen something that couldn't have actually happened. Except, it did. I'm not saying I was attached to Paul Walker like that, but the ensemble as a whole is what is appealing, his loss doesn't change the fact that I still want to see the living ensemble continue to make films. These movies are insanely popular, but the first real test of their popularity is if the living ensemble can draw a huge box office without the Rock. I'm interested to see how that goes and I'll be there on the first day.

7/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #183 on: July 03, 2019, 06:30:27 PM »


Blockers (2018), directed by Kay Cannon

From now on, probably for the next twenty years anyway, when a film is directed by a woman people are going to talk about how the story is from a female perspective. That is true, of course, but what's important is if the story is any good and had cinematic merit. In this case, it would qualify as being good enough. I found Blockers to be very funny, and in the case where there were things I didn't care for quite so much, they can easily be written off as part of the successes and failures of comedy. Some things land and others don't, at the end one is tasked with deciding how much one side outweighs the other. When it comes to comedy, now that I'm looking at the box offices from last year, now I am very confused about why comedies are failing at the box office in 2019. Is it the premise or the people attached to star in them? There have been good comedies in 2019, but none of them have featured John Cena. None of them have been about games and the implication that people are going to be playing them, and only one comedy in 2019 has featured Kevin Hart. The one with Kevin Hart made well over $100 million, so one of my theories is being challenged. The quality of the comedy may not be what draws, rather the people in it. Go figure that one. Comedy may be the only genre in which movie star power still exists. Where Blockers is successful is in its ability to have a message that's actually worth telling people, to feature scenarios that are a neat spin on the usual. Most importantly Blockers does go where a lot of other comedies will not.

Blockers kicks off sometime in the past, with Lisa (Leslie Mann) dropping off her daughter Julie at kindergarten. Julie is joined by Kayla and Sam, the daughters of Mitchell (John Cena) and Hunter (Ike Barinholtz). They all introduce themselves and become close friends, driven by the friendship of their children. When it's twelve years later, none of the adults are close friends. Julie (Kathryn Newton), Kayla (Geraldine Viswanathan), and Sam (Gideon Adlon) still are friends though, they share a whole lot of information with each other too. Julie tells her friends that she's going to lose her virginity on prom night to her boyfriend, Austin (Graham Phillips). Kayla immediately pledges to do the same thing with Connor (Miles Robbins), so we have a pact. Eventually, Sam feels obligated to join in, she's going to prom with Chad (Jimmy Bellinger), who is the definition of a Chad. He even wears a fedora! While this is going on, Lisa sets up a party for the parents and kids, after which the situation is broken down further for us to understand. Mitchell and Lisa don't talk because Lisa doesn't want to, even though she's a single mother she seems to have no friends beyond her daughter. Hunter has divorced Sam's mother after a cheating situation, and he arrives in amusing fashion with a pledge to make this the best night of Sam's life. Is that what's going to happen? You know, on some level, I guess.

When everyone heads out, with particular note being made to Sam and Hunter having an estranged relationship, Julie makes the mistake of leaving her laptop open. Her mom is very snoopy and overly attached to her daughter, she cannot help herself. When Lisa looks at the laptop, she discovers the sex pact and is furious. How dare her daughter do anything without her? That's what I guess this is all about, I still haven't figured out her motivations. I've tried. Hunter is there and makes sense of the emoji messages, which leads to Sam and Mitchell wanting to go stop their daughters. Hunter does not want to do that, and he thinks that Sam is gay, so he's not particularly worried about Chad. The film gets quite funny from here on out.

Blockers is a comedy with a rather simple premise, so there's only so much a person can divulge about the story before they decide they need to write out the whole thing. I don't want to do that. Reviewing this movie would feel like a minefield if I had a larger audience, but I don't. I think it's a very stereotypically male thing to talk about how we all know what losing our virginity is like, and that it's an experience we all know about, because that's not exactly true. The male and female experience is different and varies from one person to the next. So, I don't think this is a movie that really addresses that in any grandiose way. The message I got here is that eventually parents need to let their children go. Those parents who do not do so ultimately damage their children and create a wedge between themselves and their kid that cannot be broken down. A lot of people still have luddite beliefs, but there are also parents who don't know when it's the right time to give their child advice. Finding that middle ground has proven difficult for parents in a modern world that is completely different to the one they grew up in, which has been the case for parents particularly in the last 120 years. Once technology kicked in, this generational gap accelerated and there's no coming back from that.

Anyway, this is a fucking comedy movie and people need to keep that in mind. The gags, for the most part, are very funny. More land than those that don't. There's good physical comedy, which is a rarity these days. The one liners I thought were good but not great. There are some issues with the film even though I enjoyed it quite a bit. The way the ending comes along is too nice and neat for my taste. Blockers doesn't play it safe until it comes time to resolve the story, which is a puzzling thing to me. All of the performers do a good job with the material they're given and feel like representations of their parent characters, which isn't always the case in these sorts of movies. The buttchugging scene is interesting in the light of this film. For a man to humiliate themselves to get what they want and fail anyway is a little bit different. There's nobody here that feels out of place in any way. All six of the important performances hit their marks. This is also a rare film where an heterosexual adult man and woman have a completely platonic relationship and the idea of them hooking up is out of the question for the entire run time.

I'm in a weird spot because while the progressive politics in the film are in complete alignment with my own, I am so used to seeing actual representations of these characters due to where I live and grew up, that it's a bit strange for me to talk about this. I am not the person to talk about those sorts of things because I am so used to them that I am no longer enamored and enthralled by them. I'm fully aware of how that sounds, but I am willing to acknowledge that it is the case. When I lost my virginity it was a matter of the girl I was with doing what they wanted. They put a target on me and did what they wanted. That's what I'm talking about when I say everyone's experience was different. The film is very committed to the reality that people wish different things for their sons and daughters, you would be a fool not to see it, and everything in Blockers plays off of that. I liked this, and it is good, but I'm not sure it's a great film because it doesn't push the premise as far as it could have been pushed. I do also think that the year in which this film was released is something I'm holding against it a little bit. There were a lot of really strong films in 2018. This was one of them, but due to the way I've already constructed my list, I know which tier each film belongs in and this doesn't hit a level where I loved it. Maybe if Chad had been removed I would feel differently, but he was a bad joke that kept on going for too long.

I said that I was going to shorten reviews of movies that are neither great nor bad, and I do mean that, but something about this subject made me want to keep writing.

7/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Mary Queen of Scots
49.   Aquaman
50.   Ideal Home
51.   Outlaw King
52.   Overlord
53.   Ben Is Back
54.   Monsters and Men
55.   The Mule
56.   On the Basis of Sex
57.   Bohemian Rhapsody
58.   White Boy Rick 
59.   Papillon
60.   Game Night
61.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
62.   Instant Family
63.   Alpha
64.   The Front Runner
65.   The Predator
66.   Apostle
67.   The Angel
68.   The Commuter
69.   Beautiful Boy
70.   The Nun
71.   Operation Finale
72.   The Equalizer 2
73.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
74.   Yardie
75.   Bird Box
76.   12 Strong
77.   Venom
78.   Skyscraper
79.   The Meg
80.   Assassination Nation
81.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
82.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
83.   22 July
84.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
85.   The Little Stranger
86.   Tomb Raider
87.   Night School
88.   The 15:17 To Paris
89.   Peppermint
90.   Mile 22
91.   The First Purge
92.   Hunter Killer
93.   The Cloverfield Paradox
94.   Mute
95.   Kin
96.   Hell Fest
97.   Proud Mary
98.   Robin Hood
99.   Traffik
100.   The Happytime Murders
101.   The Outsider
102.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #184 on: July 07, 2019, 06:39:51 PM »


Patti Cake$ (2017), directed by Geremy Jasper

I decided after watching Patti Cake$ that I would pick the most displeasing image possible to post with this review. You see what I'm talking about here? I wanted a picture that would perfectly summarize how I felt about this review too, but I'm not sure this did both. What I was thinking about this movie as it was playing out, was that this was a good riff on 8 Mile, but it turns out that this wasn't a riff and it was supposed to be taken seriously, which I could not do. Once the end came, I had a hard time with what I was watching and how corny this became when I could otherwise have bought the seriousness of the film. It turns out that in the end, I cannot find the greatness in a movie about a fat white girl trying to become a rapper. I actually cannot believe that I watched Patti Cake$ at all. Just two or three years ago there is no chance that I would have, in some ways I cannot believe that I have expanded my horizons and taste out to an extent where I can watch something like Patti Cake$ and even tolerate it. Things change in people's lives it seems and this is just one of those ways. I have just blown what the story of this movie actually is, and I'm probably not going to write a very long review here, because as I said I really wanted to cut down the length of some of these. This is the perfect candidate for an opportunity to do so as the film is not my primary subject matter and it wasn't great, it also wasn't very bad. Just imagine throwing your head into a world you never wanted to enter and that's what Patti Cake$ really is.

Patti (Danielle McDonald) is literally exactly what is pictured here. She is white, overweight, from the lower classes in New Jersey, money is hard to come by. She also wants to be a rapper. Patti has a hero, O-Z (Sahr Ngaujah), he is the reason that she seems to be motivated to do this. She has dreams of his music videos, of performing in them as a guest, this is what she wants to do. The reality of her life, as already said, is not so great. Compounded by the facts of not having money is that she seems to be supporting her mother Barb (Bridget Everett) and her Nana (Cathy Moriarty). This all done while working a job at a bar. Obviously, things aren't so good. In time off from the bar, she hangs around with her friend Jheri (Siddharth Dhananjay), they mess around and he's interested in rap too. He works at a pharmacy, which makes for some of the more strange moments in this film. Patti Cake$ was made on a budget of only $1,000,000 and it shows, the more fantastical portions of this movie have a poor production value I cannot really describe. Anyway, Nana has medical bills that have to be paid for, and Barb is a drunk who won't pay her bar tab, presumably because she can't. Such is life in New Jersey.

Some of the people fade in and out of this film to the point where I can't tell you who is who at times, but there are people in the area who rap as well. Eventually, Patti, or Killa P, or Patti Cakes, whichever name you'd prefer to use, she encounters one of them in a gas station parking lot. They get to having a rap battle, it culminates in her burning the guy so bad he feels compelled to headbutt her. Very scummy thing to do, obviously. Anyway, while at this place, she meets Basterd the Antichrist (Mamoudou Athie). Basterd makes his own music, seems to hate life, and you know what? This is getting hard to describe. The facts are as such. Patti's mom is a slut who is very difficult to deal with, but she's trapped living at home. Barb was also once a musician, but she doesn't think rap is real music. You know, that's what kind of movie this is, and you should know that before you get into it. Patti's intent is to use Basterd's equipment in order to create an album with her grandma and with Jheri, and who knows, maybe she'll feel better about herself along the way. I have omitted some details because they aren't that important.

Patti Cake$ takes the wrong approach to a movie like this one and doesn't go far enough with its premise. The absolute ludicrous of the ending where she had sampled her mom's song and used it to do well in a contest, I don't know bro. Some people find that touching but I no longer do. There has to be something more to the movie, the person getting shit on cannot wind up doing something that makes the awful person happy, and I do not like that. The film needed to be more bold, daring, and break Patti free from her mother and her negative energy. When the movie doesn't do that, I lost my will to write a long review, the functional ending broke me. I was thinking that if someone was making a movie about this subject, they should be bold enough to break boundaries with their story. There is, however, a good part where O-Z destroys Patti by calling her a culture vulture. That's more my speed and the kind of thing I was looking for even if I wasn't hoping for that exact scenario. I will say that even though I don't like the film as a whole due to its lack of vision and willingness to be too crowd pleasing (lot of good that did with the film's low box office), there is one great performance her from Danielle McDonald. I cannot believe that this is an actress from Australia and not a rapper from New Jersey. Her performance is the reason this will get a passing grade, but as a whole I do not like the film too much. There's authenticity, but this isn't 8 Mile. The ending is corny as fucking shit and not true to the lead character at all.

6/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Marshall
54.   Menashe
55.   Walking Out
56.   American Made
57.   Annabelle: Creation
58.   Beauty and the Beast
59.   Imperial Dreams
60.   Gifted
61.   Murder on the Orient Express
62.   The Zookeeper's Wife
63.   The Glass Castle
64.   Free Fire
65.   Win It All
66.   The Wall
67.   Life
68.   My Cousin Rachel
69.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
70.   Breathe
71.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
72.   Maudie
73.   Patti Cake$
74.   Sleight
75.   Alone in Berlin
76.   A United Kingdom
77.   Trespass Against Us
78.   The Mountain Between Us
79.   War Machine
80.   Happy Death Day
81.   Lowriders
82.   Justice League
83.   To the Bone
84.   Ghost in the Shell
85.   Wakefield
86.   Bright
87.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
88.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
89.   The Mummy
90.   The Greatest Showman
91.   Rough Night
92.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
93.   Sand Castle
94.   The Circle
95.   American Assassin
96.   CHiPs
97.   Death Note
98.   The Belko Experiment
99.   The Great Wall
100.   Fist Fight
101.   Baywatch
102.   Snatched
103.   Wilson
104.   The Dark Tower
105.   Queen of the Desert
106.   The House
107.   Flatliners
108.   Sleepless
109.   All Eyez on Me
110.   The Book of Henry
111.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #185 on: July 08, 2019, 06:14:38 PM »


Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House (2017), directed by Peter Landesman

Around two years ago, when I first saw the preview for Mark Felt, I thought this was a film that could be very interesting. At no point prior to the bad reviews this received did I ever think it could be a stinker. In came the reviews, and I accepted immediately that this was a stinker I would watch someday. Today was that day. Accompanied by a very annoying score with a few ear grating sounds, Mark Felt can best be described as a rather boring film. Who would've thought that a movie about a man who spent no time in the field by this point of his life could possibly have a boring story to tell? Due to All the President's Men, we already know enough of what we need to know about Mark Felt, that he was Deep Throat. I was considering writing a review centered around this film's release and how it pertains to the current politics of our country, but I can't do that because this was filmed in early 2016. So, someone thought this was a story that needed to be told about the Nixon White House and Trumpism was not at all the reason Mark Felt was made. There is still the overarching feeling that Mark Felt was made because the message needed to be sent that our institutions are important, but there are also things in the film, and in the reality of Mr. Felt, that contradict how much of a standup man this guy supposedly was. That dichotomy leads to a rather strange story that I can't decipher the point of. The ending of Mark Felt does not help matters either.

As everyone should now know, Mark Felt (Liam Neeson) was "Deep Throat", the whistleblower who helped expose Watergate for what it actually was. I'm not gonna bullshit anyone by saying this was a complicated man of some sort, he was not. He believed in doing things the FBI way, the Hoover way, this is how he was brought up through the FBI. He and his wife Audrey (Diane Lane) had a daughter, Joan (Maika Monroe), she had run away from home after developing leftist viewpoints that were in contradiction of those with her parents. Throughout the film, Mark is attempting to find out where she is so that he can either bring her home or regain contact with her. Early on, we are introduced to one particular shady figure throughout Watergate, John Dean (Michael C. Hall). I must admit that I laughed at this. After this scene, J. Edgar Hoover dies, and in the aftermath of that key moment we are very sloppily introduced to some other characters. Pat Gray (Marton Csokas) becomes the Acting FBI Director, seemingly a problem as he had been working at the White House and had no experience with the FBI. Bill Sullivan (Tom Sizemore) is a rival of Mark's who was effectly forced out of the FBI by Hoover, he would like to get his job back and had become close to the Nixon Administration. We are also introduced to Charlie Bates (Josh Lucas), an agent who worked under Felt, and Ed Miller (Tony Goldwyn), the FBI Chief of Domestic Intelligence. These scenes serve to establish the hierarchy, there is Dir. Gray, then Mr. Felt, Mr. Miller, and Mr. Bates. Felt is the FBI's #2 man.

After all this, it's time for Watergate. The cover-up is made clear and lines are drawn in the sand. Everyone involved with the investigation, particularly Felt, knows that Dir. Gray cannot be trusted with sensitive information due to his ties to Nixon. Angelo Lano (Ike Barinholtz) takes charge of the investigation of the break-in and reports to Felt, this is one of the most strange castings I've seen in a while, but I rolled with it. The gist is this. Gray is trying, or has taken orders from people like John Dean, to shut this shit down and limit the investigation to the break-in alone. Gray is very successful in doing this, which leads Felt to take desperate measures. He is going to talk, he has to talk because his sacred FBI is being ruined by some guy who never worked in it before. The fact that he's forced to stand there during these public charades really eats at him, but he knows a guy. Sandy Smith (Bruce Greenwood), writer for Time, that's his guy. They meet, Felt talks, he can't help himself and he needs to let it all out. I think if you've seen other films about this subject, you know where he turns next.

When it comes to anything I've stated so far being inaccurate, I was going with what the movie told me so that it was easy to understand. Anyway, I think there's a few key differences between this and All the President's Men. Information did not flow so freely at the time All the President's Men was released. There is more obvious intrigue as a result of that, particularly at the time. The direction of All the President's Men is also better, as is the story construction and the purpose of the film as a whole. The story being written and investigated is more interesting than the person who gave the story to those reporters. To this end there is very little investigation of Watergate itself in the film I'm currently reviewing. Mark Felt is a boring movie, simple as that. There is also bad political commentary where some of the FBI's more evil actions are simply brushed away because lives were at stake. Sure they were, lives were also ruined. Mark Felt is a film that shows not all angles of a story are worth exploring, but on some level I think Landesman's script and direction are to blame here. There is a place for a good film about Mark Felt, but none of the things in this one could have been anything other than boring. The story is not worth telling unless you can get Richard Nixon in a room with someone tied to the FBI's end of the cover-up, or unless you tell a story about Deep Throat the same way that All the President's Men did, and we don't need a remake of that. When you don't have that kind of hook, you don't have a film worth my attention. There's a good performance from Liam Neeson here, but I was bored. Simple as that.

Once I'm done reviewing a film, I go looking at some other reviews before I bother to post my own. I see that some people tied this film directly to Trump and I already explained why I thought that was stupid. Nothing about this film other than its release date was related to Trump in any way, it was impossible to have released the film any sooner even though it was all made before that. Timely isn't the word I'd use, timely implies that something is also worth my time to watch. I think I would rather be bored than watch something as stupid as the things I've ranked below this though.

4.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Marshall
54.   Menashe
55.   Walking Out
56.   American Made
57.   Annabelle: Creation
58.   Beauty and the Beast
59.   Imperial Dreams
60.   Gifted
61.   Murder on the Orient Express
62.   The Zookeeper's Wife
63.   The Glass Castle
64.   Free Fire
65.   Win It All
66.   The Wall
67.   Life
68.   My Cousin Rachel
69.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
70.   Breathe
71.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
72.   Maudie
73.   Patti Cake$
74.   Sleight
75.   Alone in Berlin
76.   A United Kingdom
77.   Trespass Against Us
78.   The Mountain Between Us
79.   War Machine
80.   Happy Death Day
81.   Lowriders
82.   Justice League
83.   To the Bone
84.   Ghost in the Shell
85.   Wakefield
86.   Bright
87.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
88.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
89.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
90.   The Mummy
91.   The Greatest Showman
92.   Rough Night
93.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
94.   Sand Castle
95.   The Circle
96.   American Assassin
97.   CHiPs
98.   Death Note
99.   The Belko Experiment
100.   The Great Wall
101.   Fist Fight
102.   Baywatch
103.   Snatched
104.   Wilson
105.   The Dark Tower
106.   Queen of the Desert
107.   The House
108.   Flatliners
109.   Sleepless
110.   All Eyez on Me
111.   The Book of Henry
112.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #186 on: July 10, 2019, 10:07:07 AM »


47 Meters Down (2017), directed by Johannes Roberts

I will be the first to admit that I didn't even know 47 Meters Down existed prior to seeing a trailer in theater for its sequel, a sequel I am now not looking forward to because I know there is no way this director could make a good shark movie. The Swallows this certainly is not, 47 Meters Down is filled with all sorts of bad junk science and stupid characters. The movie is totally ridiculous on just about every level, worse than The Meg in my estimation. At least The Meg is a movie where the people making it knew they were making something goofy that people would talk about. I am still glad that I watched this because deep down, I needed to watch a horror that wasn't about possession type stuff and I needed to watch one fast. Sharks are a good enough substitute, but I do have other things planned over the next few weeks as well. Ultimately, 47 Meters Down is a film that failed to capture my attention, in large part because the script as written was incapable of doing so. The drama in this film, such as it is, is literally exactly what you'd expect the entire time. Take that for what it's worth. There are some good moments here though, and again, take that for what it's worth. This was straight out stupid.

Lisa (Mandy Moore) and Kate (Claire Holt) are sisters going on vacation to Mexico, but they look so dissimilar and don't act like sisters would, they might as well be friends. Unbeknownst to Kate until about four minutes into the movie, Lisa's boyfriend has broken up with her, and that's why Lisa wanted to go to Mexico in the first place. After this bomb drop Lisa places on her sister while crying, they immediately go clubbing and pick up two guys, Louis (Yani Gellman) and Benjamin (Santiago Segura). Who picks up who is ultimately unimportant, the guys suggest that they go to watch sharks from a diving cage in the morning. The boat that comes to pick them up, driven by a man named Taylor (Matthew Modine), is not so great. It's rusted, the equipment looks like shit and all that, but Lisa still lies and says that she's been on a dive before when she has not. This lack of experience is obviously not so good, but it's only really relevant in the sense that something might happen and she won't know what to do. Obviously, something does happen. The cable supporting the cage breaks, and the cage sinks all the way to the bottom, a grand total of 47 METERS FROM THE SURFACE. That's about 154 feet.

The science in this movie is really shitty, but fortunately 47 Meters Down is rather short and easy to explain. The girls cannot swim up to the surface too quickly because Taylor believes they will die from nitrogen sickness, but there's merely a chance of that in reality and this is a stupid film. There's only so much aversion to the truth that I can take in one movie. The cage, as shitty as it is, is fitted with lights that work even though they aren't connected to a power source. The operation as a whole, shitty as it is, boasts some of the most top of the line equipment ever created. The science in 47 Meters Down can also best be described as Fake News. Everything that happens at the depth that it happens is completely unrealistic. Someone without diving training is not going to swim a long distance on the ocean floor. It's not going to happen. This film also features what I would like to call  feats of superheroes, where a very small woman is moving a crane all by herself. You know, maybe that can happen, but the film lives in an altered universe. I usually don't complain about a lack of realism, but when the lack of realism is so apparent that I notice it out of hand without doing my own research, I can't help but call it out for what it is. The director/writer seems to be fascinated with concepts they cannot understand.

As for the film itself, look, this is what it is. 47 Meters Down is a movie where Mandy Moore screams because sharks are trying to eat her and her sister while they're trapped on the ocean floor. The concept is as simplistic as it gets, but it lacks the imagination that something like The Shallows has. It also lacks a decent duck character and someone worth leering at, but I digress. 47 Meters Down is also weird in that conceivably, if these very stupid characters had done what they were told the entire time, they would have remained safe and been brought up by the Coast Guard. You know what else is strange? Why would the US Coast Guard be rescuing divers who went out on a shitty boat in Mexico? This is a stupid film made by very stupid people, I can see why someone would enjoy this, but the flaws are too readily apparent for me and I couldn't help but notice them. Hopefully the sequel has more imagination and some concepts beyond the characters hidding on the ocean floor. The ending is also absolutely horrendous and I couldn't believe what I was watching.

4/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Marshall
54.   Menashe
55.   Walking Out
56.   American Made
57.   Annabelle: Creation
58.   Beauty and the Beast
59.   Imperial Dreams
60.   Gifted
61.   Murder on the Orient Express
62.   The Zookeeper's Wife
63.   The Glass Castle
64.   Free Fire
65.   Win It All
66.   The Wall
67.   Life
68.   My Cousin Rachel
69.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
70.   Breathe
71.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
72.   Maudie
73.   Patti Cake$
74.   Sleight
75.   Alone in Berlin
76.   A United Kingdom
77.   Trespass Against Us
78.   The Mountain Between Us
79.   War Machine
80.   Happy Death Day
81.   Lowriders
82.   Justice League
83.   To the Bone
84.   Ghost in the Shell
85.   Wakefield
86.   Bright
87.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
88.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
89.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
90.   The Mummy
91.   The Greatest Showman
92.   Rough Night
93.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
94.   Sand Castle
95.   The Circle
96.   American Assassin
97.   CHiPs
98.   Death Note
99.   47 Meters Down
100.   The Belko Experiment
101.   The Great Wall
102.   Fist Fight
103.   Baywatch
104.   Snatched
105.   Wilson
106.   The Dark Tower
107.   Queen of the Desert
108.   The House
109.   Flatliners
110.   Sleepless
111.   All Eyez on Me
112.   The Book of Henry
113.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #187 on: July 12, 2019, 06:11:00 PM »


Roxanne Roxanne (2018), directed by Michael Larnell

Roxanne Roxanne is one of those rather obscure movies that premieres at Sundance, but due to the obscurity of the subject is buried for quite a long time before being unceremoniously dropped on Netflix. That isn't to say that this kinds of films are bad, because they usually aren't. It's just that companies can't figure out how to market these things in order for them to find an audience, or that they don't have an audience at all. Except, that is, people like me who want to watch everything, or those who are genuinely interested in the subject. I decided that I was going to watch this tonight in large part because I was very busy and I think Roxanne Roxanne was the shortest film on my list. I also thought that after some things that have happened to me, I didn't want to watch anything violent for one night. I was wrong in assuming this wouldn't have violence in it, but at least it wasn't the kind that I was specifically wanting to avoid. I thought this was a rather interesting film that also feels incomplete, with a very rushed ending and frustrating lack of explanation of what happened to the subject after the film. I guess that's where the thing with distribution problems kicked in. Not that many people know this person's life story and what happened to them after their moment of fame, and if you already know her whole life story, are you that likely to watch the film? The thing is, when a film assumes the viewer knows the life story of the subect, they usually tend to dig very deep. In digging deep, that's where the quality of a music biopic can really shine, and that's reflected throughout Roxanne Roxanne.

Roxanne Shante (Chante Adams) was once merely Shante, doing things as a kid that made her mom Peggy (Nia Long) proud as Peggy was trying to save money to move out of the projects in New York City. The film starts off very early on in her life, as a kid in a rap battle, which she wins. The money goes to her mom, life is good. She has multiple sisters, but I'm going to be honest, I wasn't focused on their names because there were more important things at play here. Wikipedia is also quite unkind because nobody has bothered to ensure that there is a cast listing that would allow me to remember. Anyway, her best friend from childhood to adulthood is Ranita (Shenell Edmonds), and Ranita is also Shante's first DJ. The movie jumps forward a bit, with Shante a little bit older, living with both parents, her father Dave (Curtiss Cook) as of yet being unmentioned. There's a reason for that, even though he presumes to care about his daughter, he doesn't care all that much. When Peggy has saved $20,000 and it's time to go, she tells Dave and he's quite excited. The reason for his excitement? It's because he's going to steal that shit and leave everyone wanting more from life. On that night, Peggy hits the bottle, and that's how life goes sometimes. Hitting the bottle that one time leads to many more times, and Peggy becoming a full blown drunk. A rather successful family from the projects, one that can buy clothes for their children and put braces on their oldest daughter's teeth, can no longer do so now that the single parent is a drunk.

Dave, such is his way, never comes back into the life of his children, which leaves Shante to fend for herself. Someone has to take care of her sisters, and stealing clothes is a way to earn some cash. Beating guys in battle raps is another way, but her mother hates all of these things. When someone becomes a drunk to that extent, they find a way to shit on everything their children do. Nothing is enough even though they themselves have become nothing as a result of their permanently inebriated state. Life is about surviving, and when children are left to themselves, they're going to steal. Now, being a student isn't going to put any food on the table. She babysits the kid of some guy named Cross (Mahershala Ali) in addition to that stealing, sells some drugs. It is about whatever, but she does love rapping and is pretty good at it. She just doesn't do it that much. At least, that is, until one day at home with her mom. She's doing her mom's laundry and is called up to an apartment by Marley Marl (Kevin Phillis). This isn't how things really happened, there's obviously some creative license going on, and that's something I really didn't like about the movie. As soon as I looked up how "Roxanne's Revenge" was actually made, the film was hurt in my eyes. Anyway, they tell it that she was called up to the apartment, cut the track in one go without putting any thought into it, and became relatively famous in a short matter of time.

I left out a lot of the details as far as where the film goes after that recording, but I liked that aspect of the movie. The lack of commitment to the truth is really bothersome though. The film just does not pay attention to or feature any of the music that led to these ongoing battles, deciding instead to focus on how much Roxanne Shante was screwed over by the music business and her personal life. These aspects of the film are really good, the commitment to detail is strong. The lead performance is rather strong for someone tasked with acting opposite Mahershala Ali in many scenes, this all works though. The director decides that there is little point in telling the story of her fame and to some extent that's true, she never became mega famous and faded into the background rather quickly. Being a legend of your own time is still something important though, something worth making a film about. I would have preferred greater attention to detail when it came to the specifics of her music, but this is a different kind of music biopic. It's also really short and that's why I'm having these issues, there's a gap that needed to be filled by something. The personal bits were so heavy that I don't think there could possibly have been more of those. The reality of growing up in an area without hope is fucked up.

There is some goofy stuff in this though, like when you realize some kid who wanted to rap against her turned out to be Nas, but I accept that and that's okay. Remember in Straight Outta Compton when Snoop Dogg is in around two scenes? I accepted that and I liked it a lot, it's the same kind of thing. The standard for a rap biopic though, it's still that. Roxanne Roxanne doesn't punch through, one of the reasons it can't is because I have no personal attachment to the subject in any way. These scenes are still very strong and this is not in dispute. I was feeling things while I was watching the movie. What I was thinking at times, was that I may have given Notorious very short shrift when I was reviewing it. I think I gave that film a 7 (a blatantly wrong rating), but I've been thinking about it a lot over the last year or so. Notorious wasn't the best rap biopic, but it was the one that blended the personal aspect of the subject and their fame the best of all of them. The film is remarkable in the way it is comfortable with portraying their subject as somewhat of a monster. I must admit that I did not expect that. In the case of Roxanne Roxanne, there is the personal touch, but it doesn't resonate with me the same way. There is an innate bias in favor of other subjects that I will admit to, but the facet of her music career not being covered is a flaw in an otherwise pretty good film.

7/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Roxanne Roxanne
49.   Mary Queen of Scots
50.   Aquaman
51.   Ideal Home
52.   Outlaw King
53.   Overlord
54.   Ben Is Back
55.   Monsters and Men
56.   The Mule
57.   On the Basis of Sex
58.   Bohemian Rhapsody
59.   White Boy Rick 
60.   Papillon
61.   Game Night
62.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
63.   Instant Family
64.   Alpha
65.   The Front Runner
66.   The Predator
67.   Apostle
68.   The Angel
69.   The Commuter
70.   Beautiful Boy
71.   The Nun
72.   Operation Finale
73.   The Equalizer 2
74.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
75.   Yardie
76.   Bird Box
77.   12 Strong
78.   Venom
79.   Skyscraper
80.   The Meg
81.   Assassination Nation
82.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
83.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
84.   22 July
85.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
86.   The Little Stranger
87.   Tomb Raider
88.   Night School
89.   The 15:17 To Paris
90.   Peppermint
91.   Mile 22
92.   The First Purge
93.   Hunter Killer
94.   The Cloverfield Paradox
95.   Mute
96.   Kin
97.   Hell Fest
98.   Proud Mary
99.   Robin Hood
100.   Traffik
101.   The Happytime Murders
102.   The Outsider
103.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #188 on: July 15, 2019, 06:22:04 PM »


London Has Fallen (2016), directed by Babak Najafi

I already knew that London Has Fallen was going to be bad, because Olympus Has Fallen was so awful I didn't understand how there could possibly be a sequel. What I didn't know until a few minutes prior to viewing the movie, that this was directed by the same man who destroyed Proud Mary. With that in mind, there is absolutely no way London Has Fallen could ever be a good, or even a decent film. I never thought that would happen anyway, so I don't care that much. There's one obvious problem with this that you notice as soon as you turn the movie on, the racism is kicked up to 100. The film is directly aimed at those who have a disposition towards hating Arabs and being afraid of Muslim people. Knowing that, I refused to give this any money, so I watched it on USA where I assumed this would be edited in some meaningful way, but it turns out that was not the case and I got the full picture of whatever this is. To some extent London Has Fallen is also lacking in action compared to its predecessor, that was also not what I was expecting. I thought that when a movie was trying to follow up on something big, they go even bigger, but that's just not true in every case. The simple fact is that I can hardly muster up the gumption to write this review because I don't really care. The badness in this, including the racism, never hit me hard enough for me to give a shit about what was happening.

London Has Fallen kicks off in Pakistan, with all the intelligence services of the G8 having come together to stop an arms dealer, Aamir Barkawi (Alon Moni Aboutboul). The drone strike doesn't go all that well, a hell of a lot of people die in the process of it. It is presented that they killed Barkawi, they clearly did not. Two years later, there's an attack in Manila, and on the same day the UK PM dies quietly in his home. Arrangements are made for the world leaders to attend his funeral, and because of the attack in Manila, everyone's on edge. Everyone who survived the first film is back, I'm not going to go down the list because that's a fucking stupid thing to do for a shitty sequel. Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is still the top Secret Service protection guy, and his wife Leah (Radha Mitchell) is now pregnant, but he has to go off to London to do his job. Anyway, they all head to London with the President (Aaron Eckhart), and there's obviously going to be an attack, but the key is that you don't know exactly what's going to happen and where it's coming from. I admit that I was interested in this part, but once that was over I didn't care anymore. Anyway, Mike has to get the President out of London, but you knew that.

I know I said I was only trying to shorten the reviews of average films, but this is also a really bad one that I'm going to shorten. The racism here is so dominant that I could never even get into watching the bad movie, which is a shitty feeling. I usually enjoy these to some extent, but that wasn't the case this time. The thing about the first film is that the villains are given some sort of dominant screentime, but that wasn't the case here. The movie is boring, the actors don't seem to care very much, but there are a few funny lines. The director participating in such racism is really strange too, you would think someone born in Iran wouldn't want to do something like this, but the movie revels in that shit. There's no plot to speak of, the violence is totally ridiculous and the lead character never gets hurt while killing nearly a hundred people. There's actually not much worse than what I've already said, this plot is so lazy that it doesn't really have twists and turns, I don't think anyone knew what they were doing. I would prefer not to say anything else about this movie, so I'm not going to. If you want to watch an action movie with a lot of killing, there are so many other options and you should not watch this one.

3/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #189 on: July 19, 2019, 12:43:58 PM »


The Ballad of Lefty Brown (2017), directed by Jared Moshe

When it comes to Westerns, I already full well know that I need to go back and watch the classics I haven't seen. I'm not going to do that yet, I'm trying to cut off the flow of new things that I haven't seen before. Indie westerns are something I've been watching a little bit recently, and I actually have a few more to check out this month. I poorly structured the way I was watching things, but what I was thinking about is the way that this genre petered out. I don't like it, I'm never going to like it, but the idea that comic book movies are going to do the same thing is patently ludicrous. There is an interesting little twist on the way westerns usually work, I will eventually talk about it at some point of my review. I'm caught in between two minds when it comes to The Ballad of Lefty Brown. On some level I found the film to be intriguing, but as things were moving along I thought the story had some problems with pacing and a lack of action. A western that doesn't have action isn't an immediate death knell, so in that case a film in this genre heavily relies on featuring characters that really pop. I'm not sure if these ones did or didn't, with the exception of one who I liked very much. Fortunately, this one was also the lead, not a side character, and as a result The Ballad of Lefty Brown gets a passing grade from me. I did also very much like that The Ballad of Lefty Brown was shot on film. That isn't something that always matters, but when it comes to a Western, I think it does. Digital just doesn't look the same in that instance, I can't describe it.

The Ballad of Lefty Brown doesn't feature a film synopsis or anything, so there's nothing to jog my memory and I tried to write this out as quickly as I could. Edward Johnson (Peter Fonda) and Lefty Brown (Bill Pullman) are partners, I think it was outright stated that they were lawmen. Edward is moving onto a new path in life though, he has been appointed to the US Senate by the Montana Governor, James Bierce (Jim Caviezel). You see, Montana was a new state, and at this point in our union, the people who ran the states still appointed people to the Senate to cast those important votes. The voters had no say in that, and a lot of people would like to put this system back in place. I am obviously not one of them. When Edward is leaving for Washington, he wants Lefty to accompany him some distance along the way. First, they stop at Edward's house, where he lives with his wife Laura (Kathy Baker). This serves to introduce us to the characters and all that, and in a conversation it is made clear that Laura doesn't much care for Lefty. You see, Lefty is best described as a bumbling idiot. He has a limp, can't see all that well and he can't shoot too well either. He's also not the brightest sort. This is not someone I would want escorting me to a destination in the Old West. I would do anything to avoid going with this guy, but Edward likes Lefty and appreciates him after years of friendship. So, they set out on their horses and get to moving.

Of course, you know...and I mean you KNOW the trip isn't going to go all that well. When coming around a bend, Edward is shot and killed by Frank Baines (Joe Anderson), there is no motivation given as to why this would happen. After this scene, Lefty brings Edward's body back to the house and tells Laura that he's going to go get that no good son of a bitch, because of course he is. Frank, on the other hand, is a rather wily sort. There's other issues too. For starters, the Governor went down to Edward's house to give condolences, during which he was begged by Laura to fix Edward's will so that she could inherit his ranch. The laws of those days were rather different. In addition, he brought Tom Harrah (Tommy Flanagan), another law man intent on stopping Lefty from doing harm to himself. Lefty is old in addition to the other things I've stayed. While Lefty's out there, he comes across a kid, Jeremiah Perkins (Diego Josef). They get in a good little shootout, and these things being what they are, the kid is going to tag along with him. The intent, of course, is to kill or capture Frank Baines. There is far more to this story though, as I'm sure any fan of the genre is well aware.

I think I did well summarizing that without anything to remind myself of what happened. This is a really standard western without any frills. I thought there was an interesting twist on the usual kid usage in this movie, where the kid doesn't need to be taught much of anything and already knows what they're doing. It's also nice to see a western that takes the lead perspective of the bumbling idiot, and while Lefty isn't as stupid as I thought, he's pretty stupid. The story is ultimately about Lefty Brown needing to clear his name, so I think you can see where things go from there. I would say that this doesn't have any great direction or a great script, there's an inspiring performance from Bill Pullman and that's about it. The ensemble is very much lacking, it is what it is. I did see that The Ballad of Lefty Brown was shot in just 20 days at a Montana state park, so my expectations were quite low from that point on. How good can a movie be when you put it together in 20 days? Even Victoria, which was filmed in one take, ultimately took longer due to how difficult it proved to be to produce something like that. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's also a film where a lot of the intrigue is maintained by doing it in one take, and the director had already made other features. that wasn't the case with Jared Moshe, and as a result we have a film just above average.

6/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Marshall
54.   Menashe
55.   Walking Out
56.   American Made
57.   Annabelle: Creation
58.   Beauty and the Beast
59.   Imperial Dreams
60.   Gifted
61.   Murder on the Orient Express
62.   The Zookeeper's Wife
63.   The Glass Castle
64.   Free Fire
65.   Win It All
66.   The Wall
67.   Life
68.   My Cousin Rachel
69.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
70.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
71.   Breathe
72.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
73.   Maudie
74.   Patti Cake$
75.   Sleight
76.   Alone in Berlin
77.   A United Kingdom
78.   Trespass Against Us
79.   The Mountain Between Us
80.   War Machine
81.   Happy Death Day
82.   Lowriders
83.   Justice League
84.   To the Bone
85.   Ghost in the Shell
86.   Wakefield
87.   Bright
88.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
89.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
90.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
91.   The Mummy
92.   The Greatest Showman
93.   Rough Night
94.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
95.   Sand Castle
96.   The Circle
97.   American Assassin
98.   CHiPs
99.   Death Note
100.   47 Meters Down
101.   The Belko Experiment
102.   The Great Wall
103.   Fist Fight
104.   Baywatch
105.   Snatched
106.   Wilson
107.   The Dark Tower
108.   Queen of the Desert
109.   The House
110.   Flatliners
111.   Sleepless
112.   All Eyez on Me
113.   The Book of Henry
114.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #190 on: July 20, 2019, 05:05:37 AM »


Wonderstruck (2017), directed by Todd Haynes

Wonderstruck is a movie I've had on my list for two months or so, I'd initially removed it due to the PG rating and put it back two weeks ago. I'm not automatically averse to watching movies with a PG rating, but the IMDB page for this looked strange to me and I considered giving this a pass. After I'd considered it, I saw that Todd Haynes directed this, and I really enjoyed Carol. So, you know, I couldn't pass on the film given that. I can't bring myself to do certain things, that's one of them. With that in mind, I had to enter the film with an open mind. I didn't know what this was about, I just knew that it had something to do with wonder, which implies that there's a journey of some kind, which it turns out that there damn well is. Sorry, maybe that isn't the best word to use in a review about a PG movie, but none of my reviews are PG. Wonderstruck isn't a movie that really made me think about much of anything, and that's why I'm not going to be overly effusive in praise. It is a good movie, but it is also one that I can see being very difficult to become invested in. This is adapted from a book and shows in how awkward the shifts from one timeline to another are. The visual aspects though, there's things in the film that I was not expecting, almost all of which are pleasing, and finding out where some of them actually come from made me pretty happy. But, did I learn anything? I absolutely did not. That's something a person needs to think about when presented with a movie trying to make the viewer feel certain things, that kind of lesson wasn't garnered from the events. That's cool though, this was a good movie.

As already alluded to, Wonderstruck is a film with two timelines. I will have to try to describe each of them. In 1977, there is a boy, Ben (Oakes Fegley). Ben is suffering, currently living with his aunt, Jenny (Amy Hargreaves). The reason why he's living with his aunt, it's not such a good one, his mother Elaine (Michelle Williams) died in an accident. Elaine was a librarian in their small town up in the north of Minnesota, and Ben never knew his father for reasons that were never revealed to him prior to her death. Ben, of course, would really like to know about his father and not knowing anything is eating him up inside. One night, there's a storm, and during that storm there's another accident while he's using the phone. There's a lightning strike, and the result of it is that Ben is deaf and can no longer hear anything. He can still speak in a normal sounding, raised voice, but it is unclear if his hearing will ever return. I presume not. When he is taken to the hospital, he sees that his room is outside of the bus station in Duluth. Duluth isn't the largest town in the world, but there is still a common thread between smaller towns and the rest of the country. It exists, but less people use it. This being 1977, more people use it, so the kid gets the right idea in his head to travel to New York City. The reason? He wants to find his father and he knows where his father is supposed to be.

Featuring much less of David Bowie's "Space Oddity", we have the other timeline set in 1927. Rose (Millicent Simmonds) lives at home with her father Dr. Kincaid (James Urbaniak), and she hates it. Rose is deaf, so there is a high emphasis placed on lip reading during these parts. You could say that Rose is abused, actually I would outright say it. Now, Rose has her own reasons to want to run away. As it turns out, her brother Walter (Cory Michael Smith) lives in New York City, while Rose lives across the Hudson in Hoboken. Rose likes to go to the cinema in her spare time, watching silent films of course, but that is not to last forever. The one she was watching featured an actress named Lillian Mayhew (Julianne Moore), who she liked very much. Outside, there are signs announcing that speakers are being installed, the silent films will turn into ones with speaking, and that leaves Rose without a place to understand what's going on during a movie any longer. This spurs her to leave. She goes in search of her mother after chopping off all her hair, crossing the Hudson on a ferry. It's a different time and all that, it will be very difficult to actually find her because she'd run away. After crossing the river, she goes into Manhattan and finds a studio, at which point the viewer is made to realize that the actress in the movie is her mother. Her mother does not want her for many reasons, the greatest one being that if Rose is found in her custody, she will be punished. Again, it's a different time. This leads Rose in search of Walter, in search of a home where she will be loved and appreciated.

I should have pointed out that the scenes in 1927 were filmed in black and white, giving the proceedings some added authenticity as well as allowing the extras not to have to wear complete period clothing. You just can't tell. Anyway, I was interested in why the theater had talkie movies for the first time in 1927, as well as the accuracy of that scene. The Jazz Singer was the very first one, it was an Al Jolson movie that featured him in blackface, but I've never watched it before. Still, the mere mention of blackface carries with it the strongest likelihood that the film is offensive when viewed through a modern lens. Wonderstruck is definitely not that kind of movie, but much of Todd Haynes work has been controversial within small circles, because those small circles are the only people watching the films. I'm sure for long-time fans of his it was strange to see him make something far more sanitized. I suppose this would be considered a movie for kids, although I'm not too sure very many kids would want to watch it. In that way, Wonderstruck may have failed in its goals, but this still very much feels like a kids movie with children going on a journey of wonder not knowing what they may find. I did like the movie and find it interesting, but I am struggling with what the end goal of the story was supposed to be.

The recreation of New York City in the 1970's was rather excellent, I'm always a big fan of this in film and Wonderstruck was no exception. I am puzzled as to how this received a PG rating considering the content in some of those scenes, but that's a subject for a different time. This feels like it's supposed to be a Steven Spielberg movie, except for the fact that it isn't one, but I appreciate the way the two stories are woven together. Julianne Moore has a nice double role here, I wasn't expecting to see her later in the film and by even mentionining it I've just spoiled a massive amount of the story. Oh well. The cinematography is what really stands out more than anything else, and the use of models in the last scenes of the film really worked for me too. This was adapted from a book, and you can tell. I liked this, please don't take everything I've said the wrong way, but I thought I needed to explain some of the issues with the film. The story is still spot on.

7/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Wonderstruck
54.   Marshall
55.   Menashe
56.   Walking Out
57.   American Made
58.   Annabelle: Creation
59.   Beauty and the Beast
60.   Imperial Dreams
61.   Gifted
62.   Murder on the Orient Express
63.   The Zookeeper's Wife
64.   The Glass Castle
65.   Free Fire
66.   Win It All
67.   The Wall
68.   Life
69.   My Cousin Rachel
70.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
71.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
72.   Breathe
73.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
74.   Maudie
75.   Patti Cake$
76.   Sleight
77.   Alone in Berlin
78.   A United Kingdom
79.   Trespass Against Us
80.   The Mountain Between Us
81.   War Machine
82.   Happy Death Day
83.   Lowriders
84.   Justice League
85.   To the Bone
86.   Ghost in the Shell
87.   Wakefield
88.   Bright
89.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
90.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
91.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
92.   The Mummy
93.   The Greatest Showman
94.   Rough Night
95.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
96.   Sand Castle
97.   The Circle
98.   American Assassin
99.   CHiPs
100.   Death Note
101.   47 Meters Down
102.   The Belko Experiment
103.   The Great Wall
104.   Fist Fight
105.   Baywatch
106.   Snatched
107.   Wilson
108.   The Dark Tower
109.   Queen of the Desert
110.   The House
111.   Flatliners
112.   Sleepless
113.   All Eyez on Me
114.   The Book of Henry
115.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #191 on: July 21, 2019, 06:11:28 PM »


The Tribes of Palos Verdes (2017), directed by Emmett Malloy and Brendan Malloy

My review of The Tribes of Palos Verdes is very likely to be one of my new patented short reviews, in some part because the film doesn't merit a long review and in some part due to the film being rather short. The Tribes of Palos Verdes is one of those rich people melodramas, the kind that make a person laugh when the director is not quite able to pull off the seriousness that a film like this needs in order to be good. There are reasons that The Tribes of Palos Verdes isn't a good film, there are also reasons that it isn't completely terrible to a ridiculous extent. I will go through as many of the ones that I can think up while writing this. Of course, when I told some people that I was watching The Tribes of Palos Verdes, nobody had any idea what this movie was. It turns out that sometimes there's a good reason for poor brand awareness. I see exactly what this film is attempting to achieve and I also see how it doesn't work, there aren't enough flashpoints that lead to bombastic arguments or turns in the story. As a whole, The Tribes of Palos Verdes turns out to be rather boring as a result of those flaws. The film is also adapted from a book, so I'm uncertain as to how much latitude the directors and writer actually had to make the film.

Phil (Justin Kirk) and Sandy (Jennifer Garner) have made the decision to move their little family to the rich Los Angeles suburb of Palos Verdes. Phil is a cardiologist, so they can afford it. The Masons have two kids, twins in fact, they are Medina (Maika Monroe) and Jim (Cody Fern). The parents, as you might suspect, only care about themselves and this is a fact made clear throughout the events of the film. It is a wonder they are still married at all considering that Phil enjoys his social life while Sandy would prefer to stay inside wearing her bath robe. Sandy has mood swings and some kind of personality disorder, and coupled with or as part of that she would prefer not to get to know anyone in the area. Of course, Phil, that guy is going to fuck around on a wife like that. I would have bet on it. It's hard to deal with someone like that, but they should have the courage to leave first. Sandy suspects Phil of having an affair and smells perfume in his car, so it's inevitable that the truth will come out. He has found love with Ava (Alicia Silverstone), their real estate agent. He wants to leave, he's going to move out and live with Ava, and nobody's going to do anything about it.

I got so wrapped up in talking about the parents, that much like these parents, I have forgotten about their kids. Medina and Jim are high school age, 16 years old and interested in having fun like anyone else that age. Jim would prefer to be popular and Medina would prefer to do her own thing. They have something in common though, something anyone living by the beach would want to do. They want to surf. There are the typical kinds of gatekeeping surfer bros at these places, they don't want anyone surfing at their beach and stealing their waves. Jim's ticket into that group, into surfing at that beach, is weed. These people are not a good influence at all, Jim goes down a bad path. Medina is torn and sees her mother's narcissism for what it is, her father's selfish behavior for what it is, and realizes that she's basically been abandoned. For that matter so has Jim. When Phil comes to the house to tell them that he's leaving, he and Jim get a fight that culminates in Jim punching his dad in the face. This, obviously, is not good, but it also cements Jim's belief that his father doesn't care about him. So, he turns to his crazy mother and they become more close, which isn't going to lead anywhere good.

This is a coming-of-age story of sorts, but it's also a divorce drama. I'm not sure the filmmakers knew what they really wanted this to be. The dramatic impact of the ending had absolutely no impact on me because I had thought Jim was bringing his sister down with him to begin with. I also thought the story was boring as a whole, lacking punch. Jennifer Garner put in a good performance in an attempt to liven things up, but that's about all that happened. The script just isn't there to make this a good film. I did enjoy some of Garner's meltdowns, and there's nice scenery to look at, but that's all I can say about an average movie like this one was. I did read in a review once I was nearly done with this one, that the book features Garner's character overeating and gaining a ton of weight as a result of the impending divorce, but someone decided that wasn't to be done with this film. A wasted opportunity to be sure, but when a movie like The Tribes of Palos Verdes decides to  commit to being average in the first place, maybe one of the leads should not put on a fat suit and embarrass themselves. It's still a good performance. Anyway, this just doesn't work for me and felt like an average film. I also started laughing near the conclusion, which doesn't happen very often.

5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Wonderstruck
54.   Marshall
55.   Menashe
56.   Walking Out
57.   American Made
58.   Annabelle: Creation
59.   Beauty and the Beast
60.   Imperial Dreams
61.   Gifted
62.   Murder on the Orient Express
63.   The Zookeeper's Wife
64.   The Glass Castle
65.   Free Fire
66.   Win It All
67.   The Wall
68.   Life
69.   My Cousin Rachel
70.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
71.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
72.   Breathe
73.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
74.   Maudie
75.   Patti Cake$
76.   Sleight
77.   Alone in Berlin
78.   A United Kingdom
79.   Trespass Against Us
80.   The Mountain Between Us
81.   War Machine
82.   Happy Death Day
83.   Lowriders
84.   Justice League
85.   To the Bone
86.   Ghost in the Shell
87.   Wakefield
88.   Bright
89.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
90.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
91.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
92.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
93.   The Mummy
94.   The Greatest Showman
95.   Rough Night
96.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
97.   Sand Castle
98.   The Circle
99.   American Assassin
100.   CHiPs
101.   Death Note
102.   47 Meters Down
103.   The Belko Experiment
104.   The Great Wall
105.   Fist Fight
106.   Baywatch
107.   Snatched
108.   Wilson
109.   The Dark Tower
110.   Queen of the Desert
111.   The House
112.   Flatliners
113.   Sleepless
114.   All Eyez on Me
115.   The Book of Henry
116.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #192 on: July 22, 2019, 06:19:44 PM »


The Foreigner (2017), directed by Martin Campbell

Have you ever wanted to watch a movie where Pierce Brosnan and Jackie Chan play against type as best as they possibly can? If so, regardless of the quality of the film itself, The Foreigner might be just for you. There are some issues with the story, but I remember that for a long time people wanted to see Jackie Chan do something different instead of play the same part over and over again. You know, to some extent, this is a similar part. It is a much darker play on that though, and I have never seen Jackie Chan be so serious in a film before. When the film was going to make its debut, I remember that people were talking about how strange the trailer was and how these guys appeared to be doing something different. It was seen as a comeback film for them both, in Chan's case he had not done anything live-action in the English language for seven years. Brosnan works all the time and people simply don't watch it, his star has waned very much and I'm not sure that's going to change. I was going to watch The Son, then I didn't, then it was cancelled. It's not my fault, but it shows that people are no longer watching Brosnan's work. The key here, of course, is that the film has Jackie Chan and as a result it should have made money, which it did. As soon as the movie started, I realized what I was getting into, and I was wondering if an IRA drama was still appropriate viewing in 2019 when we know the damage that was done during the Troubles. The Foreigner is not set during the Troubles, but I am wondering about stereotypes and how they play into a film like this one.

Ngoc Minh Quan (Jackie Chan) is a restaurant owner in London, with one daughter and no wife. It turns out that his other two daughters died in circumstances you find out as The Foreigner plays out, and his wife died some time after he'd arrived in England. He picks his daughter Fan (Katie Leung) up from school so that she can go dress shopping. The problem is that someone else has other ideas for that storefront. A man with a motorcycle parks his bike for a moment and heads off, then it's time for a fight over a parking spot between Quan and someone else. They get in a collision, and as the man gets out to confront Quan, a bomb goes off and destroys the entire dress shop. Afterwards, a news station receives a call from a group calling themselves the Authentic IRA, leaving a code word of phoenix with the news desk. The station tasks people with trying to find out more about the bombing, and Ian (Rufus Jones) heads out to the store. At this point we learn that Fan is dead, and Quan has been sitting there holding her body since the bombing. After this scene, the film moves to the bombers having a discussion about where they should stay in the aftermath of what they've done. They decide that staying at the safe house is their best move. I am curious about this and have always wondered whether or not detection of these terrorist cells comes from their movement out into the world after the bombing. You would think that if these motherfuckers stayed at home afterwards it would be easier to evade the police.

Over in Belfast, there's some panic. The Deputy Minister Liam Hennessy (Pierce Brosnan) was a former IRA leader, such as happens in politics in Northern Ireland. He has attempted to repair the damage that he and others have done. I wouldn't compare his character directly to Gerry Adams, but you know, kind of. He's in bed with his mistress Maggie (Charlie Murphy, not that Charlie Murphy) when he receives a phone call from his wife Mary (Orla Brady) about the bombing. The bombing in London killed 12, and not long after this call he is called again by a British politician, Katherine Davies (Lia Williams). After this, Liam heads over to a meeting where he demands to know who killed civilians, he says that peace is for the best, and it is subsequently stated that the people who did this were probably young. There's an issue though. He is not the only one who wants to know who the bombers were. Scotland Yard's commander is very much interested, plus there's the matter of Quan. You know, Quan isn't just some guy who owned a restaurant in London. It turns out that he's a Vietnam War veteran with US Special Forces training. This is a guy who would know how to deal with terrorists and how to speak to the people he wants to speak with. Knowing that Liam is a former leade rof the IRA, he's going to head over to Belfast to talk to that guy. Nothing is going to stop him from getting what he wants, and he wants the names of the bombers regardless of how that must happen.

The problem with The Foreigner isn't one of lazy storytelling, or of anything else that usually bothers me with a film, this is a foreign complaint for me. My issue is that the film is too complicated. The first case of this I noticed was that I could not tell Liam's mistress and wife apart, and The Foreigner isn't the kind of film to hold the viewer's hand, so I struggled from scene to scene at times. Some of the men also look too similar, and this isn't a deliberate attempt to mislead or confuse the audience, these are scenes told from an honest perspective that don't work due to these issues. It's tough to watch a film that does things like that. Martin Campbell has directed some good films though, and I would say The Foreigner is almost a good film. The Foreigner almost makes that jump forward to being a rather good terrorist intrigue thriller, but the characters looking too similar to one another does not help matters. The film is also rather generic as a whole and it isn't hard to figure this out. Some would call it tasteless, others would say that Chan is miscast in this role. On the contrary, I found Jackie Chan to be rather believable as a grieving father intent on taking his anger out on those he believed did harm to his family. You can't be one of those people who complains about him never being taken seriously in an English language movie and go on to complain about him taking seriously. Maybe the issue is that people have expectations of him that are not met.

Where the film really works, is with Liam and his cadre of IRA thugs and goons attempting to keep Quan from killing anyone. The action scenes, as you might expect, are good. Jackie Chan and good action scenes are a minimum expectation. The way they are directed and filmed is also nice, the choice in shots allows you to see Chan doing his thing without a lot of goofy cuts or shots that feel too close. I enjoyed this movie, but I am obligated to point out that adapting an IRA story to modern times proves very difficult. The scenes work, the story has hiccups due to making such a story modern. I still enjoyed the movie a fair bit, but I am cognizant of these realities. The fact is that if you don't like Jackie Chan being serious and trying to fucking kill someone, I don't know. The guy makes bombs and shoots machine guns. This is the kind of seriousness I always wanted from him even though it's far too late in coming. This movie is cool, and I thought the use of the IRA as the terrorist organization at play was neat. You don't see that very much anymore, it's easier to simply plug some Arabs in there and make a racist story. The Foreigner is not a racist story. Ronin was another good IRA movie, if you could call it that, but the action in it was far superior to an incredible extent. So, this was fine, but it ain't that.

6/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Wonderstruck
54.   Marshall
55.   Menashe
56.   Walking Out
57.   American Made
58.   Annabelle: Creation
59.   Beauty and the Beast
60.   Imperial Dreams
61.   Gifted
62.   Murder on the Orient Express
63.   The Zookeeper's Wife
64.   The Glass Castle
65.   The Foreigner
66.   Free Fire
67.   Win It All
68.   The Wall
69.   Life
70.   My Cousin Rachel
71.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
72.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
73.   Breathe
74.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
75.   Maudie
76.   Patti Cake$
77.   Sleight
78.   Alone in Berlin
79.   A United Kingdom
80.   Trespass Against Us
81.   The Mountain Between Us
82.   War Machine
83.   Happy Death Day
84.   Lowriders
85.   Justice League
86.   To the Bone
87.   Ghost in the Shell
88.   Wakefield
89.   Bright
90.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
91.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
92.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
93.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
94.   The Mummy
95.   The Greatest Showman
96.   Rough Night
97.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
98.   Sand Castle
99.   The Circle
100.   American Assassin
101.   CHiPs
102.   Death Note
103.   47 Meters Down
104.   The Belko Experiment
105.   The Great Wall
106.   Fist Fight
107.   Baywatch
108.   Snatched
109.   Wilson
110.   The Dark Tower
111.   Queen of the Desert
112.   The House
113.   Flatliners
114.   Sleepless
115.   All Eyez on Me
116.   The Book of Henry
117.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #193 on: July 23, 2019, 06:32:58 PM »


Suburbicon (2017), directed by George Clooney

Suburbicon was one of 2017's biggest box office bombs, a film that I was interested in seeing when I viewed the trailer, but after seeing the various scores out there for the film I decided to stay at home for. The concept of someone adapting a long buried script of the Coen brothers is very appealing, this was written in 1986 though. The Coens wrote a lot of scripts, I think the number is in the hundreds, and not all of them were produced. There is a reason that they were not produced. I am having difficulty describing the issues with Suburbicon, but I must talk about some of the reviews. There were some reviews that came out in the aftermath of Suburbicon that were completely glowing. I cannot on any level see how someone would enjoy this movie. There are times when I can see the opposing viewpoint and times that I cannot. I just cannot see how someone could enjoy a lifeless bore such as Suburbicon. It's a boring, piece of shit film, masquerading as a Coens film when George Clooney is absolutely clueless as to how to make the script come to life. How does a movie like this even exist, how can a studio not see there are issues with the adaptation of this script? Perhaps Paramount knew, and perhaps it was too late. Perhaps George Clooney is not the kind of star that a studio wants to piss off. Maybe they thought they'd recoup the budget anyway due to the people starring in the movie and the film's director, but they did not. Mashing genres together with aspects of this being the end result is hilarious once the film is over, but there was hardly anything in Suburbicon that I found funny while I was watching it.

The premise of Suburbicon is as such. It is nearly the 1960s, and Suburbicon is a community that was created for people to live in, the picture-perfect ideal neighborhood of the time. This means there are not supposed to be black people living there, as the film tells it. The Mayers move in, and the whole neighborhood is very much disrupted as a result. Gardner Lodge (Matt Damon) is their neighbor, and he lives with his paraplegic wife Rose (Julianne Moore), their son Nicky (Noah Jupe, and Rose's sister Margaret (Julianne Moore). Suburbicon has been good enough to them and they are rather happy even though Rose is in a wheelchair. One night, these two robbers break in and have plans to take what belongs to the Lodge family. Sloan (Glenn Fleshler) is the leader of these two, and Louis (Alex Hassell) is his partner. They intend to ransack the house while drugging everyone in order to ensure they can't immediately call the police. When doing so, they use a lot of chloroform on Rose, and this leads to Rose dying. It could not possibly be more easy to see where Suburbicon is going from that point forward. At the funeral, we are introduced to Mitch (Gary Basaraba), the uncle of Nicky and brother to Rose and Margaret. He is displeased with what's happened, and wants to rip the murderers apart from their assholes.

So, with that being said, let's push on to the rest of the film. The case is being investigated by an officer, Hightower (Jack Conley). Hightower finds the death suspicious after another person dies in a car accident and it is discovered that person is connected to the Mafia. He had something written down that heavily alluded to him needing to make a pickup of money owed to him by Gardner Lodge. This would explain how Gardner needs money. I should also mention that Margaret is beginning to transform into Rose, everything except the wheelchair coming into play. She has fully moved into the house, begun sleeping with Gardner, and dyed her hair to look like Rose. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Gardner and Margaret hired those two guys to kill Rose. When they're called into the police station to identify some guys who were picked up, Gardner and Margaret refuse to acknowledge that the murderers are right in front of them. They maintain that even when Nicky barges into the room to look at what's going on. Sloan and Louis, they want their money. In order for Gardner to get it, he's going to need a good insurance payout. His self-owned business is completely floundering, he hasn't payed the mortgage on his house. Bud Cooper (Oscar Isaac) is the insurance agent, and brother, he thinks there's something very fishy going on here.

I noticed as I was watching Suburbicon that I will probably associate Oscar Isaac with Mojave for the rest of my life. There are worse bad films to associate a great actor with, that's for sure. Anyway, Suburbicon doesn't really come to life until his character is introduced, which I believe doesn't happen until the last half hour. It takes some doing to make a "satire" that bombs entirely and has no humor at all. I think I laughed at one part, which was also in the last thirty minutes of the film. It was also not a satirical part in the least and featured a person killing someone else. Suburbicon is an extremely boring movie that I found to feature poor direction. The Coens write dry films, but there is the matter of how those films are framed, how they're scored. There is a touch that is lacking from this film. Alexandre Desplat is a great composer, not one of my absolute favorites, but his music and a Coens script? I'm not a very big fan of this. You'll just have to see what I mean if you want to know, because you notice the issue almost instantly. The music is also barfed onto the events by George Clooney. I cannot state enough how much I did not like this film. It isn't one of the worst I've seen, but it bothers me. Not any sucker can adapt a script written by the Coens, but there's also an inherent issue when they don't want to make this script themselves, you have to wonder how strong it is in the first place.

I'm really struggling to think of positives when it comes to Suburbicon, so I'm probably not going to post any at all. There are some, let's be clear about that, but that's no fun. I'd rather continue to talk about what I want to talk about. The scenes with the black family have absolutely no place in this film and are borderline offensive. These scenes, and Clooney's outrage over the way black families were treated, is dropped into this film and onto characters who are given no life or personality. They exist merely for Clooney to drop a social justice plot into a bad crime story. The two stories never come together in any way, and in some ways I think this confirms something I've long thought. There is a reason that some white directors should not attempt to tackle these kinds of heavy stories. They simply do not know how to do so in a coherent manner that gives that plot line the respect it deserves. The black characters in this film exist so that George Clooney can show suburbanites saying horrible things about them. It is egregiously terrible. When you realize that these stories are never going to come together, and that he has marginalized those characters to this extent, I cannot believe that Suburbicon even exists. The largest issue with the film is that these two plots should not run in combination with each other. A great director would not be able to balance them, an average one like Clooney goes down in flames attempting to do so. I am now going to point out that the story where white people treat black people like shit with no comeuppance did not exist in the Coens script. It was added into this already rather shitty movie, which leads to it being a completely shitty movie.

You could not on any level understand what I am speaking of with this second plot unless you watch this movie. I dare you to. Suburbicon is a strange case of a film where the director does not even try to properly illuminate characters that take up a decent portion of the film. It is because they can't, because they don't know how, because they have absolutely no business making a film with that story included in it. Just look at what I ranked above this. It's a nice lesson that even though I enjoy someone's acting, that doesn't mean they know how to write a feature film and direct it. What is the message I was told when watching Suburbicon? I wish I could say, but I still haven't figured it out yet. I did my best though.

3/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Wonderstruck
54.   Marshall
55.   Menashe
56.   Walking Out
57.   American Made
58.   Annabelle: Creation
59.   Beauty and the Beast
60.   Imperial Dreams
61.   Gifted
62.   Murder on the Orient Express
63.   The Zookeeper's Wife
64.   The Glass Castle
65.   The Foreigner
66.   Free Fire
67.   Win It All
68.   The Wall
69.   Life
70.   My Cousin Rachel
71.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
72.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
73.   Breathe
74.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
75.   Maudie
76.   Patti Cake$
77.   Sleight
78.   Alone in Berlin
79.   A United Kingdom
80.   Trespass Against Us
81.   The Mountain Between Us
82.   War Machine
83.   Happy Death Day
84.   Lowriders
85.   Justice League
86.   To the Bone
87.   Ghost in the Shell
88.   Wakefield
89.   Bright
90.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
91.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
92.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
93.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
94.   The Mummy
95.   The Greatest Showman
96.   Rough Night
97.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
98.   Sand Castle
99.   The Circle
100.   American Assassin
101.   CHiPs
102.   Death Note
103.   47 Meters Down
104.   The Belko Experiment
105.   The Great Wall
106.   Fist Fight
107.   Baywatch
108.   Snatched
109.   Suburbicon
110.   Wilson
111.   The Dark Tower
112.   Queen of the Desert
113.   The House
114.   Flatliners
115.   Sleepless
116.   All Eyez on Me
117.   The Book of Henry
118.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #194 on: July 25, 2019, 04:59:59 AM »


Only the Brave (2017), directed by Joseph Kosinski

When it comes to firefighter movies, I must admit that I have watched probably none at all. Does that actually matter? There aren't a hell of a lot of them, but I had seen in previews two years ago that this looked interesting enough. On some level, a person's interest in a biographical film about firefighters is similar to one about trapped coal miners, you know that the only reason you're following the subjects is because something bad happened to them. For some people, that is a difficult ask, and that is the reason that people don't often go to watch these sorts of films the way that producers and studios believe they will. Only the Brave is one of those kinds of movies where people are supposed to learn to appreciate the trade and what people who do these jobs go through in order to keep people safe. What we have here though, is a movie where the characters have enough chemistry to keep things moving in spite of how corny the film could become, and because this is based on a true story it gives the feeling of credibility that another film would lack. Whenever there are issues with a biographical film, specifically the ones that I had, I can only attribute them to the story itself. It isn't the fault of the filmmakers, or you know, of anything. When people die, they die, and that's how life goes I suppose. It's certainly part of that job, but even though people say that a person could get killed while fighting a fire, nobody actually expects that to happen until it happens.

Only the Brave kicks off with one of the largest fires in the history of Arizona, the Cave Creek Complex Wildfire. Eric Marsh (Josh Brolin) is the superintendent of a fire and rescue crew in Prescott, Arizona. His crew are municipal firefighters, they do not get to make the major decisions in dealing with such fires. His recommendation is ignored by a hotshot crew from California, and the neighborhood he would have saved is subsequently destroyed. At this point I should explain what hotshot crews actually are. They are elite firefighters, trained for dealing with all problems. They uphold high physical standards and are tasked with traveling around the country to deal with major problems that need resolved. Their deployment is a hard job, they are rarely home and these situations have a major impact on their home life. Eric is married to Amanda (Jennifer Connelly), and Amanda wants to have kids. Eric does not, he is gone too much and would be an absentee father. This is a cause of conflict in their marriage. Eric wants to take things a step further with his firefighting crew too. He wants them to be hotshots, and talks to the Prescott's fire chief, the guy who can make it happen, Duane (Jeff Bridges). Duane wants the crew to commit to a longer working season and Amanda hates this, but men are going to do what they want to do and this one wants to work.

At the same time, there's a story revolving around Brendan (Miles Teller), a Prescott local with a serious drug and delinquency problem. Brendan is thrown in jail and kicked out of his mother's house, he also has a baby on the way with Natalie (Natalie Hall), his ex-girlfriend. She wants nothing to do with him though. So, with that in mind, and when Brendan is thrown in jail and gets out, he decides that he needs to do something important with his life. He walks into the firehouse where Mike is with his crew, and decides to interview even though the others are staring holes through him. The most important of the other firefighters are Jesse (James Badge Dale), the second in command, and a guy who gives Brendan no end of shit, he is named Mac (Taylor Kitsch). When I write sentences like that, I feel like I need an editor. Anyway, Brendan goes out on a run with them, and even though he's a junkie, Mike wants to hire him and train him into a firefighter. There is a reason for this, but more than anything else Mike thinks Brendan needs structure in his life. There is going to come a time that they're evaluated for their hotshot certificate, it just takes a fire to come for that to happen. Are they going to pass and is Brendan going to make it to that point, leaving his junkie lifestyle behind?

This is the kind of movie that you'd think Republicans would like, that you'd think they would turn out to see, but they did not. That isn't to say that I don't think this was a good movie, because it was, but it was merely good. It is very difficult to believe that the fires filmed for Only the Brave were not real. It is also difficult to believe that someone besides Peter Berg directed this, but in doing so the film has a different tone than it otherwise would have had. Only the Brave is also long enough that the viewer comes to understand exactly how this job works if they're paying attention to the movie. Overall, when I say this is a good movie, everything in the movie is functionally good, but it is limited by the facts of the events. I do not know how it could have been much better because it is one of those films about firefighting and to me, that's only so entertaining to begin with. The conclusion of the film is rather sad, and I don't understand why or how these people died when they were so experienced, but unfortunately they did. The main performances are all strong, but I wasn't ever expecting to see Jeff Bridges in an unrecognizable role like this one. The film does leave out a little wrinkle though, it probably isn't so little in the grand scheme of things. The city tried to completely fuck the families of the firefighters who died, denying their families benefits because shitty red cities believe they should do something like that in an attempt to limit government spending. That's something that should have been covered in this film.

7/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Darkest Hour
28.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
29.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
30.   Sweet Virginia
31.   It
32.   Battle of the Sexes
33.   Stronger
34.   Brad's Status
35.   Okja
36.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
37.   Kong: Skull Island
38.   It Comes at Night
39.   Crown Heights
40.   Split
41.   1922
42.   Personal Shopper
43.   Landline
44.   Beatriz at Dinner
45.   Chuck
46.   Atomic Blonde
47.   Shot Caller
48.   Brigsby Bear
49.   Wheelman
50.   The Lego Batman Movie
51.   Megan Leavey
52.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
53.   Wonderstruck
54.   Only the Brave
55.   Marshall
56.   Menashe
57.   Walking Out
58.   American Made
59.   Annabelle: Creation
60.   Beauty and the Beast
61.   Imperial Dreams
62.   Gifted
63.   Murder on the Orient Express
64.   The Zookeeper's Wife
65.   The Glass Castle
66.   The Foreigner
67.   Free Fire
68.   Win It All
69.   The Wall
70.   Life
71.   My Cousin Rachel
72.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
73.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
74.   Breathe
75.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
76.   Maudie
77.   Patti Cake$
78.   Sleight
79.   Alone in Berlin
80.   A United Kingdom
81.   Trespass Against Us
82.   The Mountain Between Us
83.   War Machine
84.   Happy Death Day
85.   Lowriders
86.   Justice League
87.   To the Bone
88.   Ghost in the Shell
89.   Wakefield
90.   Bright
91.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
92.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
93.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
94.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
95.   The Mummy
96.   The Greatest Showman
97.   Rough Night
98.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
99.   Sand Castle
100.   The Circle
101.   American Assassin
102.   CHiPs
103.   Death Note
104.   47 Meters Down
105.   The Belko Experiment
106.   The Great Wall
107.   Fist Fight
108.   Baywatch
109.   Snatched
110.   Suburbicon
111.   Wilson
112.   The Dark Tower
113.   Queen of the Desert
114.   The House
115.   Flatliners
116.   Sleepless
117.   All Eyez on Me
118.   The Book of Henry
119.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #195 on: July 26, 2019, 06:42:20 PM »


Hostiles (2017), directed by Scott Cooper

I will come straight out with it and admit that I had not watched Hostiles yet because of how long the film appeared to be. It turns out that a decent chunk of that is credits, but the point ultimately remains. Hostiles is a rather long film that does happen to feel long. Is that bad? Not always, not necessarily either. You have to think about whether or not the events deserved to be of that length to begin with and whether or not the characters in the film actually matter. The answer, to me anyway, is that they do. Of course, I should note that the length of this put my dad straight to sleep. Think about that for a moment, and my dad is not the first person who fell asleep or became straight out bored by watching Hostiles. I don't think this is an amazing film, but I feel just about exactly the opposite. It's a strong effort, when the action comes it matters very much, but the other scenes do as well. This is a film that revels in forcing the viewer to be patient, it is deliberately slow and features very strong performances. I have seen interesting complaints about how this film has a race issue, but that's very difficult for me to accept when the National Congress of American Indians has lauded the film for its treatment of native matters. I am past the point in my life where I'm going to get offended on behalf of people who are not offended. Hostiles could have used a greater perspective on one side of the people involved, but that would have made the film a hell of a lot longer, and very likely more people would have complained that this story dragged too much.

Hostiles starts in 1892, with Rosalee Quaid (Rosamund Pike) out on a ranch with her husband and three children. She's teaching them as her husband is going to make improvements to the house, but this isn't going to go well. A Comanche war party is out and looking for trouble, they kill and scalp her husband while shooting all of her kids. The last of her kids was a baby, and the baby was shot instead of Rosalee, who is able to escape. The film pans over to New Mexico, at a fort where Captain Joseph Blocker (Christian Bale) has just rounded up an Apache family and brought them back for imprisonment. I think everyone in the world knows how fucked up that is, but Joe has a bad reputation for killing natives. He says that it's his job, but what he's done is a lot worse than merely a job. Slaughtering is the name of the game as far as he's concerned. His sargeant, Thomas Metz (Rory Cochrane), he's gone along with Joe the whole way and participated in the exact same things. The way he tells it, he's done a lot worse and isn't ashamed to share that with other people. Joe is called to the office of Col. Biggs (Stephen Lang) because there is a mission, one that he really doesn't want to do. He has been directed by President Harrison to escort a dying Cheyenne war chief, Chief Yellow Hawk (Wes Studi) all the way to Montana. Their tribal lands are now a reservation, or they're going to be, so Yellow Hawk and four members of his family need to go back.

Joe, as you might suspect, is furious. There's no other way to put it, and he's forced to take the mission as he'll lose his pension should he not. After they're done with the mission, Joe is supposed to head over to a fort and muster out back East as he is going to be done with the military. Joe is able to pick his detail at least, and of course Thomas is first along with him. Corporal Woodson (Jonathan Majors) is Joe's aide and will also join, then straight from West Point we have Lieutenant Kidder (Jesse Plemons). Lastly, Biggs decides to add a French kid, Pvt. Desjardins (Timothee Chalamet). Desjardins can hardly speak English and he's very new to the Army, it's obvious what's going to happen to this guy. Along with Yellow Hawk, the other natives are Black Hawk (Adam Beach), his son; Elk Woman (Q'orianka Kilcher), Black Hawk's wife; Little Bear (Xavier Horsechief), their son; and Living Woman (Tanaya Beatty), Black Hawk's sister and Yellow Hawk's daughter. I hate having to describe all the cast members in this manner, but there's no choice this time. Anyway, it's time for them to set off on their journey, and after they're away from the fort Joe decides to have the two grown native men put in chains. Of course, the group comes across the destroyed Quaid house and subsequently across Rosalee. The problem beyond her grief, is that those Comanche who attacked are still out there. They want to kill everyone.

The action scenes in Hostiles, when they do come, are horribly violent and rather intriguing as a result of that. I will also admit that I found the story rather unpredictable and didn't know what was going to happen next. The film could have used more of the Cheyenne viewpoint, but it's actually rather clear from my perspective. White people came and took their land while killing people, the Cheyenne killed some too, but they white men had prisons and power they could use against the Cheyenne. There's your perspective. This is the third movie of Scott Cooper's that I've seen, the third one that's good, but also the third one that I felt could have been even better. Cooper is a little too deliberate with his time and pacing and could use these scenes to ensure we see a fully realized perspective of every character. Instead that focus goes on the lead character, which in this case is played by Christian Bale and as a result fully realized because of his talents. The cinematography by Masanobu Takayanagi is as great as you could ever ask for. The scenery is amazing, so that doesn't hurt. Rosamund Pike is another great actor, and as you can see in my cast listing, this is a great cast in general. I've held back on one or two names as well. The film is still missing something that you'd have to see in order to fully understand.

I think what the film is missing is a great script. What we have here is a script intent on creating great, memorable characters. That is fully accomplished. The story itself is not so great as a result of that, because the narrative thread is lacking. This is a film where someone is not inherently trying to redeem themselves, but they realize as the events play out that they are redeeming themselves. I still think this movie is almost great to a much stronger extent than Out of the Furnace and Black Mass. The movie is too damn long and there isn't enough focus on the chief, those are the things I would ding the story for. I still very much enjoyed the movie regardless of that, but I would like it if one of these modern Westerns (as in made in the last five years) would attempt to address genocide against Native Americans head on. I mean, really head on. Pull no punches and hold nothing back. There are stories to be told in this genre, and now there are streaming services that don't care about making money. One should step up to the plate and give the world the story that we need. Now, back to Hostiles, there is another series of rather entertaining scenes that badly obscures what should have been the focus all along. It feels like a detour, and I can't give that kind of movie a really amazing grade, but what I'm giving is quite strong in the first place. It's Christian Bale, and it's a Western.

7.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show
 
1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Hostiles
28.   Darkest Hour
29.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
30.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
31.   Sweet Virginia
32.   It
33.   Battle of the Sexes
34.   Stronger
35.   Brad's Status
36.   Okja
37.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
38.   Kong: Skull Island
39.   It Comes at Night
40.   Crown Heights
41.   Split
42.   1922
43.   Personal Shopper
44.   Landline
45.   Beatriz at Dinner
46.   Chuck
47.   Atomic Blonde
48.   Shot Caller
49.   Brigsby Bear
50.   Wheelman
51.   The Lego Batman Movie
52.   Megan Leavey
53.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
54.   Wonderstruck
55.   Only the Brave
56.   Marshall
57.   Menashe
58.   Walking Out
59.   American Made
60.   Annabelle: Creation
61.   Beauty and the Beast
62.   Imperial Dreams
63.   Gifted
64.   Murder on the Orient Express
65.   The Zookeeper's Wife
66.   The Glass Castle
67.   The Foreigner
68.   Free Fire
69.   Win It All
70.   The Wall
71.   Life
72.   My Cousin Rachel
73.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
74.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
75.   Breathe
76.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
77.   Maudie
78.   Patti Cake$
79.   Sleight
80.   Alone in Berlin
81.   A United Kingdom
82.   Trespass Against Us
83.   The Mountain Between Us
84.   War Machine
85.   Happy Death Day
86.   Lowriders
87.   Justice League
88.   To the Bone
89.   Ghost in the Shell
90.   Wakefield
91.   Bright
92.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
93.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
94.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
95.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
96.   The Mummy
97.   The Greatest Showman
98.   Rough Night
99.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
100.   Sand Castle
101.   The Circle
102.   American Assassin
103.   CHiPs
104.   Death Note
105.   47 Meters Down
106.   The Belko Experiment
107.   The Great Wall
108.   Fist Fight
109.   Baywatch
110.   Snatched
111.   Suburbicon
112.   Wilson
113.   The Dark Tower
114.   Queen of the Desert
115.   The House
116.   Flatliners
117.   Sleepless
118.   All Eyez on Me
119.   The Book of Henry
120.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #196 on: July 29, 2019, 05:14:36 AM »


Ready Player One (2018), directed by Steven Spielberg

Reviewing a Steven Spielberg movie is probably one of the easiest things to do regardless of the content in any given film. The themes are largely the same, there's an expectation from these movies that Spielberg is often keen to fulfill because that's his thing. Ready Player One is not an exception to this in any way, the amount of special effects and the source material do not change this, and for all I know the source material was chosen by Spielberg because it fit his usual themes. The ending, as you might expect, is also very much a Spielberg thing and that's weird in a Hollywood climate where films don't usually end in this manner anymore. I should point out that Ready Player One takes a long time to get to that point, this film is far too long even though there is only so much condensing a person can do to material coming from a novel. This film also has more special effects than perhaps any other that I've watched. Obviously, this is not Spielberg's best movie and I think anyone can see that simply from viewing the trailer. It's also not one of his better movies. It's still a good movie. All those things can make sense in combination with one another, but I find one thing about Ready Player One to be really strange. How do you make a movie about pop culture in the 80s and 90s and leave out almost all of your own work? This decision is really weird, and it's something you notice as Ready Player One goes along, nearly to the point of becoming a distraction. At least he put the T-Rex from Jurassic Park in this because I would have lost it had he not.

In 2045, life has gone to shit somehow even though it is not explained at any point in the film. People seek escape from their shitty lives by playing one single video game, a virtual reality universe called the OASIS. The OASIS is something that can hardly be described in sensical fashion, but once a person puts on those googles and optionally a suit, they can leave their old lives behind and be who they want to be in the video game. OASIS was created by James Halliday (Mark Rylance) and Ogden Morrow (Simon Pegg), the latter of whom left Gregarious Games after a dispute of some kind with Halliday. In Columbus, there's a split between societies as things have changed far too much. Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) lives in a trailer park which has been stacked up to create room for everyone, with his aunt and her abusive boyfriend. Their life sucks, just like everyone else's does. Unfortunately, one of these things is not explained so excellently, so I'm going to do the best that I can. On the other side of the tracks, you have someone like Nolan Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn), the CEO of IOI. IOI is a company that wants to control the OASIS any way possible, using indentured servants and their employees. It doesn't matter how it must be done, but they have to do it. OASIS, it should be pointed out, is something that drives the economy at this point. I believe it was said that Gregarious Games is the the most profitable company in the world.

Now, how this all relates to the plot? Halliday has died at the start of this film, and a pre-recorded message left by his character has announced a game. Ownership of OASIS, and the fortune that comes along with, will be given to the first person that finds the Golden Easter Egg. The Egg is locked behind a gate that requires three keys, and the first person to get that last one wins. Anyone can get the other two keys at their leisure and swoop on in for that last one, but IOI is going to prove very difficult to beat. They have thousands of people working towards finding that third key. Eventually someone working for them will see how to get the other two, so that isn't the priority. Wade's avatar is Parzival, who is best friends with a virtual mechanic named Aech (Lena Waithe). The two don't know each other in real life at all, but they're very close. One day, when everyone is racing to be the first person to get that first key, Parzival meets Art3mis (Olivia Cooke), someone else intent on finding the keys for their own reasons. You see, Wade wants to win so that he can become rich and escape his shitty life in the trailer park stack. Art3mis, on the other hand, wants to make sure that IOI does not gain ownership over the OASIS and destroy everyone's life that way. There is a lot riding on this Easter Egg hunt. We are talking about half a trillion dollars here and ownership of something that everyone is doing. There are also many, and I do mean many more characters that take part in this.

I already said this is a Spielberg movie, so that's taken care of. I don't know anything about the source material and I'm not going to read it either. The reason I said this movie is merely good is because the amount of special effects, and the portrayal of the video game world itself, leads to some detachment from the characters and their emotions. There are also scenes near the end of Ready Player One that straight out don't make any sense. The amount of pop culture here is great and at the same time completely ridiculous. None of the scenes featuring it are capable of comparing to the scene with The Shining, but I think everyone knew that would be the case while this was being made. Ready Player One also has some of the best special effects to ever come to the screen, the CGI is nothing short of incredible. There is an issue though with the presentation of this and the real world, and you have to wonder why the characters weren't putting any of their energy into improving reality. It is also weird for a famous director to make a film with such a strong basis in video gaming, material that is usually handled without care and like it is trash.

I'm not sure if this was the film that Spielberg was actually shooting for, in the sense that I'm sure the use of cameos was not supposed to completely overshadow his work, but it all does. When you have Gundam facing Mechagodzilla, shouldn't someone expect that? It's one of the only things I can think of after a night's sleep. One has to wonder if someone was feeding Spielberg these things the same way that Ben Mendelsohn's character had to get lines from his employees in order to say much of anything of value. Who knows? I could be a pretentious bastard and talk about all the things the film made me feel, but I think the best word to use is that I was pleased. Ready Player One is a film that has pretty much no downtime, moves as quickly as possible, and jams multiple huge special effects set-pieces into the two hours plus running time. That's a dangerous balance that has to play out as well, either the film is going to be good or all the action will fail to land, but it was good enough here. I also struggle with the ending in the scenes that it seems cruel for someone to shut the OASIS off twice a week to force people to spend time in a horrible, dystopian reality. Perhaps in doing so, reality wouldn't be so horrible? Spielberg doesn't do a good job explaining that.

7/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Roxanne Roxanne
49.   Mary Queen of Scots
50.   Aquaman
51.   Ideal Home
52.   Outlaw King
53.   Overlord
54.   Ready Player One
55.   Ben Is Back
56.   Monsters and Men
57.   The Mule
58.   On the Basis of Sex
59.   Bohemian Rhapsody
60.   White Boy Rick 
61.   Papillon
62.   Game Night
63.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
64.   Instant Family
65.   Alpha
66.   The Front Runner
67.   The Predator
68.   Apostle
69.   The Angel
70.   The Commuter
71.   Beautiful Boy
72.   The Nun
73.   Operation Finale
74.   The Equalizer 2
75.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
76.   Yardie
77.   Bird Box
78.   12 Strong
79.   Venom
80.   Skyscraper
81.   The Meg
82.   Assassination Nation
83.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
84.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
85.   22 July
86.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
87.   The Little Stranger
88.   Tomb Raider
89.   Night School
90.   The 15:17 To Paris
91.   Peppermint
92.   Mile 22
93.   The First Purge
94.   Hunter Killer
95.   The Cloverfield Paradox
96.   Mute
97.   Kin
98.   Hell Fest
99.   Proud Mary
100.   Robin Hood
101.   Traffik
102.   The Happytime Murders
103.   The Outsider
104.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #197 on: July 29, 2019, 06:08:01 PM »


The Fate of the Furious (2017), directed by F. Gary Gray

I'm just about spent on material for these reviews now that I've watched and reviewed eight of these films. I'm also going to watch the ninth one before the end of this week, so we're going to see how much I struggle with tonight's review. The Fate of the Furious can best be described as the kind of film that you get when the person directing the film is new to the franchise, which F. Gary Gray was. Perhaps it is also the kind of film that you get when the writer is out of ideas, and the writer has been replaced for the as of yet not officially titled Fast & Furious 9. There was a lot of talk prior to the release of this film that Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel don't get along, and now they aren't scheduled to appear together in any of the two upcoming films. They also weren't on screen together for more than a few seconds in The Fate of the Furious, so the beef is probably real and they probably can't work together. How that relates to the future of the franchise, and the conclusion of it, I don't really know. The fact is that the story needs to conclude with them both in a film, with scenes together, and that'll be that. Everyone knows that these movies are intended to be over the top, but this one was too much so. I think what we have here is a film that I like, but I'm not going to be effusive in praise and this rates exactly where the fourth film does. That is to say, before these films got entertaining in the first place. Of course The Fate of the Furious is entertaining, but I think you know what I mean. The quality control seems to have slipped a little bit here, and I think that requires an explanation on my part.

You know all about these fuckers, right? Nearly all of them are back, Brian (obviously) and Mia are not. Family is most important, but Dom will not have the two people he trusts most to get him through the events that follow. The film starts in Cuba, with Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) on their honeymoon, doing their honeymoon thing as people do when they're on their honeymoon. You get the point? Their honeymoon. Anyway, the day after some classic franchise street racing, Dom is approached by a cyberterrorist who has some serious blackmail material. She is Cipher (Charlize Theron), and Cipher has been pulling the strings on all this terrorism stuff the entire time. You don't see what the material is until later, but when you do, I thought this was the only unexpected thing in the entire film. Of course, after that, there's talk of another attack and Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) is tasked with bringing the team back. Dom brings Letty, Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) with him to Berlin, their goal is to retrieve an EMP device before Cipher can steal it. They do that, but there's a problem. As anyone can tell, Dom has been turned by Cipher in some way, and now he's a traitor. Her intention is to launch a nuclear weapon and hold the superpowers accountable for their wrongdoing. Nothing's going to stop her, and she has the best leverage against Dom that a person could have. She has his son. In order for THE FAMILY to stop Cipher, they will need to turn to Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham). You know, the terrorist from the last film? Yeah, that guy.

The Fate of the Furious has major problems as a result of Johnson and Diesel's feud, but that's only one part of the puzzle and the problems go beyond that, preventing the film from being as good as it could be. The concepts of the action scenes, as well as the writing surrounding a few of them, is not all that great. I did also notice that is Johnson and Diesel were sharing a scene, they were obviously not filmed at the same time. The issue is apparently because Diesel doesn't show up on time for filming and leaves everyone standing around, and you know, I'd feel the exact same way as Johnson. This issue with the two shows up worst in the Berlin sequence. It was poorly acted, far too short, basically everything about it sucked on every level. Due to the storyline, and because everyone knows Dom doesn't want to do any of these scenes, The Fate of the Furious is entirely too predictable. Being predictable isn't a problem as long as the action scenes deliver, which with the exception of the Berlin scene, they did. It doesn't matter that the scenes don't make sense, you expect that. The Hobbs & Shaw spinoff could be worse, but the bar it needs to clear is not that high here.

The Fate of the Furious isn't a bad film or anything, but it felt like a wasted opportunity from a director who should have done better. This is not the only time that happened with this guy though. Men in Black: International was a massive pile of garbage (which I rated too highly at the time), The Fate of the Furious isn't quite that, but it's not great. When you have a cast full of these remaining characters, with nobody else having left the franchise, making an average film is rather inexcusable. The Fate of the Furious is also way too long and not that funny. I'm starting to get the feeling that if this was about anything else, with a different cast, that I would absolutely hate this movie. That's probably true, but there's also lots of joy here. Jason Statham on the airplane is excellent. The NYC scenes are all great without exception, and they take up a rather large portion of the film. The stuff inside the jail was a lot of fun too. It's just that the connective tissue doesn't really hold things together that well. I will say one thing though, I'm glad a villain in this franchise actually got to do some seriously bad shit and live on. However, the way that everyone seemed to forget about Deckard killing Han, with that never having been mentioned at any point in the film, that's a case of bad direction that I cannot forgive. That's why this goes on the average pile.

6/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Hostiles
28.   Darkest Hour
29.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
30.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
31.   Sweet Virginia
32.   It
33.   Battle of the Sexes
34.   Stronger
35.   Brad's Status
36.   Okja
37.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
38.   Kong: Skull Island
39.   It Comes at Night
40.   Crown Heights
41.   Split
42.   1922
43.   Personal Shopper
44.   Landline
45.   Beatriz at Dinner
46.   Chuck
47.   Atomic Blonde
48.   Shot Caller
49.   Brigsby Bear
50.   Wheelman
51.   The Lego Batman Movie
52.   Megan Leavey
53.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
54.   Wonderstruck
55.   Only the Brave
56.   Marshall
57.   Menashe
58.   Walking Out
59.   American Made
60.   Annabelle: Creation
61.   Beauty and the Beast
62.   Imperial Dreams
63.   Gifted
64.   Murder on the Orient Express
65.   The Zookeeper's Wife
66.   The Glass Castle
67.   The Foreigner
68.   Free Fire
69.   Win It All
70.   The Wall
71.   Life
72.   My Cousin Rachel
73.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
74.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
75.   The Fate of the Furious
76.   Breathe
77.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
78.   Maudie
79.   Patti Cake$
80.   Sleight
81.   Alone in Berlin
82.   A United Kingdom
83.   Trespass Against Us
84.   The Mountain Between Us
85.   War Machine
86.   Happy Death Day
87.   Lowriders
88.   Justice League
89.   To the Bone
90.   Ghost in the Shell
91.   Wakefield
92.   Bright
93.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
94.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
95.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
96.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
97.   The Mummy
98.   The Greatest Showman
99.   Rough Night
100.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
101.   Sand Castle
102.   The Circle
103.   American Assassin
104.   CHiPs
105.   Death Note
106.   47 Meters Down
107.   The Belko Experiment
108.   The Great Wall
109.   Fist Fight
110.   Baywatch
111.   Snatched
112.   Suburbicon
113.   Wilson
114.   The Dark Tower
115.   Queen of the Desert
116.   The House
117.   Flatliners
118.   Sleepless
119.   All Eyez on Me
120.   The Book of Henry
121.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Harley Quinn

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #198 on: July 31, 2019, 03:38:54 AM »
If you had told me way back in 2001 that the Fast & Furious movies would be the franchise equivalent for 2 movie watching generations of over the top 80s action cop movies or action 90s thrillers but with cars, I would've laughed so hard. But damn if each film just goes for it in a way that somehow works, from the plot to the acting to the stunts, even though by most measures it probably shouldn't.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #199 on: August 03, 2019, 04:32:08 AM »


Geostorm (2017), directed by Dean Devlin

If only this picture remotely resembled anything what Geostorm is actually like. That's what I wanted, and that's what I did not get. Dean Devlin apparently wrote both Independence Day films, the latter of which should have made clear this guy had absolutely no idea what he was doing. That's not all, though. Devlin also wrote 1998's Godzilla, one of the greatest examples of butchering a great character if I've ever seen one. They real key here is that Devlin had never directed a film prior to making Geostorm. For some insane reason Warner Bros. gave him a huge budget, let him write the script, and sent him on his way to make the film. This was obviously not a good idea. Geostorm is probably best described as a political thriller with the occasional lightning storm, tidal wave, or tornado. There's a little more too, but I think you get my point and what I'm trying to say. This is not the trashy disaster epic that I was hoping to watch. Of course, this should have been expected all along and I'm not surprised that WB tried to sit on this impending flop for so long. The film was first shot in October of 2014, there were reshoots in December 2016 because they could not figure out a window in which to release this absolute pile of garbage. You know how bad it is when you have to release a movie like this on a weekend with four other films? That's pretty bad! There were so many other features out at the same time as well, and when WB spent $15,000,000 on trying to fix the film, it's fair to say that didn't work at all. I knew what I was getting into when I watched this and I was relatively pleased with how bad the film actually was. Geostorm just didn't go far enough, so the score is going to be extremely bad.

Geostorm presents 2019 as being a bit different than it is currently, with many huge natural disasters causing a shift in the dynamic of how the world treats climate change. The way the world does things is going to lead to a climate solution being rather drastic, but this one is not entirely realistic. As Geostorm presents things, the world comes together to create a climate controlling system called Dutch Boy, this stabilizes the climate on our Earth by covering our atmosphere with weather modifying satellites that bring things back to the way that they were in each location. Jake Lawson (Gerard Butler) is the man who put this program together, he has been sent to a meeting after Dutch Boy stops a typhoon in Shanghai. Apparently, Jake acted without authorization in his role, and this means that he should be fired even though he saved lives. He has been replaced with his brother Max (Jim Sturgis), who tried to tell him to lay off beforehand. Even though the Secretary of State (Ed Harris) wanted Jake in this job, he couldn't follow those instructions and that's it.

We bring things forward a few years, to Afghanistan where a group of UN soldiers has discovered a frozen village. It turns out that the satellite covering the Registan Desert has malfunctioned in a horrible way, killing everyone who lived there. How is this not a massive deal? It just isn't. Geostorm doesn't have any depth that would allow us to see the ramifications on society of that actually happening. Makmoud is an Indian engineer working on the new International Climate Space Station, he has copied data from the Afghan satellite onto a hard drive in an attempt to make clear what has happened. This does not go well for him. Someone has clearly hacked into the station somehow, and Makmoud is ejected into space. After this incident on the station, President Palma (Andy Garcia) is persuaded by Max to conduct an investigation. Of course, as part of that investigation, Jake is going to come back to space to work on the ICSS. There's more though, the satellite over Afghanistan is not the only one that was malfunctioning. Cheng Long is the head of the Hong Kong department and he's on the ground there, but the satellite busts, causing gas explosions that nearly kill him and kill a shitload of other people. This leads to Jake centering his investigation on the malfunctioning satellites, but he needs a team. The current station commander is Ute (Alexandra Maria Lara), and the rest of the crew consists of Eni (Adepero Oduye), an engineer named Al (Eugenio Derebez), a computer tech named Duncan (Robert Sheehan), and Ray (Amr Waked). Ray is a guy who walks around carrying a gun for no reason at all. Most of these roles are there to show that this station is truly a world effort, but the fact is that one of these people has created a virus that is causing this sabotage. Jake has to figure out who.

You mean to tell me the only shown computer technician onboard is the guy who hacked the system and is causing people on Earth to die? No way. That's what kind of film this is though. Everything in Geostorm is bad to varying extents. The special effects are not particularly good, everything in the film looks fake and the scenes have no tangible meaning. This becoming a politics related thriller was about the most boring turn that could have happened. There are not anywhere near enough natural disasters for my liking here. That's probably for the best, because other than the tornadoes, none of them looked particularly realistic to begin with. If you ever wanted to see heat destroy places like Moscow, or ice freeze the beaches of Rio, perhaps this is the kind of film for you. I mean, you'd have to turn your brain off, but you could watch it. The audience for these kinds of films has dwindled massively over the last decade or so. The disaster genre is dead because it's increasingly difficult to get people into a theater to watch inherently bad movies with bad stories. The bad story, for me anyway, is part of the appeal. Maybe I'm in the minority here and I just don't understand why someone could ever say that one of these movies made sense. They just don't. We do have a climate change problem, but the film is dumb as fuck. The most insipid part is that Geostorm was piggybacking onto a real problem in order to get people to spend their money on popcorn.

The movie could be more watchable if it wasn't so boring, but it really is. I didn't time this out because I would never subject myself to that, but Geostorm took a very long time for the mooted idea of a Geostorm to actually take place. As the film presents it, a Geostorm happens when the entire world is under siege as a result of what humans have done to the planet prior to manipulating the weather on it. Apparently all these things can happen over the course of an hour or so. The movie is very fucking dumb, for lack of a better word. Geostorm also features horrendous acting. Why is an uncharismatic guy like Andy Garcia the President? That kind of question I cannot answer because there isn't an answer. Garcia is the kind of actor you get to do a movie when nobody else wants to do it. He's been in one good franchise and that's just about it. It's fitting that he's in a film starring Gerard Butler. These two are the same kind of actor. There's another interesting thing I have to bring up before I leave. The one way in which the CGI for Geostorm actually matches up is when they straight out jack scenes from Gravity. Of course, I'm talking about the way that the space station breaks up. The difference between the two scenes, on the other hand, could not be more stark. There is no lasting impact of the massive amount of damage that results from this moment. The score is garbage and Gravity doesn't have that problem. The choice of shot and presentation of the scene in Gravity is far better. The effects are still the same, but this has great impact on Gravity. Perhaps most importantly, the lead character is actually worth caring about and isn't a complete idiot. A movie with the kinds of functional issues that Geostorm has is not even worth my time. Not sure why I even wrote this much. The film is fucking boring.

2.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Hostiles
28.   Darkest Hour
29.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
30.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
31.   Sweet Virginia
32.   It
33.   Battle of the Sexes
34.   Stronger
35.   Brad's Status
36.   Okja
37.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
38.   Kong: Skull Island
39.   It Comes at Night
40.   Crown Heights
41.   Split
42.   1922
43.   Personal Shopper
44.   Landline
45.   Beatriz at Dinner
46.   Chuck
47.   Atomic Blonde
48.   Shot Caller
49.   Brigsby Bear
50.   Wheelman
51.   The Lego Batman Movie
52.   Megan Leavey
53.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
54.   Wonderstruck
55.   Only the Brave
56.   Marshall
57.   Menashe
58.   Walking Out
59.   American Made
60.   Annabelle: Creation
61.   Beauty and the Beast
62.   Imperial Dreams
63.   Gifted
64.   Murder on the Orient Express
65.   The Zookeeper's Wife
66.   The Glass Castle
67.   The Foreigner
68.   Free Fire
69.   Win It All
70.   The Wall
71.   Life
72.   My Cousin Rachel
73.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
74.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
75.   The Fate of the Furious
76.   Breathe
77.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
78.   Maudie
79.   Patti Cake$
80.   Sleight
81.   Alone in Berlin
82.   A United Kingdom
83.   Trespass Against Us
84.   The Mountain Between Us
85.   War Machine
86.   Happy Death Day
87.   Lowriders
88.   Justice League
89.   To the Bone
90.   Ghost in the Shell
91.   Wakefield
92.   Bright
93.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
94.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
95.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
96.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
97.   The Mummy
98.   The Greatest Showman
99.   Rough Night
100.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
101.   Sand Castle
102.   The Circle
103.   American Assassin
104.   CHiPs
105.   Death Note
106.   47 Meters Down
107.   The Belko Experiment
108.   The Great Wall
109.   Fist Fight
110.   Baywatch
111.   Snatched
112.   Suburbicon
113.   Wilson
114.   The Dark Tower
115.   Queen of the Desert
116.   The House
117.   Flatliners
118.   Sleepless
119.   Geostorm
120.   All Eyez on Me
121.   The Book of Henry
122.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest