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Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #200 on: August 03, 2019, 11:15:53 AM »
Why is an uncharismatic guy like Andy Garcia the President? That kind of question I cannot answer because there isn't an answer. Garcia is the kind of actor you get to do a movie when nobody else wants to do it. He's been in one good franchise and that's just about it. It's fitting that he's in a film starring Gerard Butler. These two are the same kind of actor.


Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #201 on: August 04, 2019, 06:11:19 PM »


Cargo (2018), directed by Ben Howling and Yolande Ramke

Someone, at some point, is going to have to answer to me why there is now so much zombie related material. I cannot only be because The Walking Dead was once popular, because now that it isn't, that rationale does not hold up. This zombie thing is now an obsession that studios now truly believe we all want to watch material about. Possession flicks are in the same boat, too many of them are being made, and at some point it has to stop. Of course, Cargo is only a Netflix entry, which means my expectations for the enterprise were naturally lowered a fair bit. After all, Netflix did not commission the production of this film. They saw it, liked it, and bought it to put on their service. Cargo is a film with some entertainment related issues, I would say. The film isn't completely terrible or anything of the sort, and it isn't bad, but I think my accusation that Cargo fails to entertain holds some merit. Because of that, this is an average film, and it certainly feels like it, but there are more inventive aspects than I was expecting. The story, for example, is completely abnormal for these zombie horrors and I cannot think of anything specific to compare it to. The other issue is that I would rather have seen how the Aboriginal tribe depicted here dealt with these problems than to know how the lead character did. Take that for what it's worth, of course. Apparently the directors had already made Cargo as a short and had decided to enhance the movie a little bit.

Cargo takes place in the Australian Outback, in a world overtaken by an epidemic as tends to happens in these zombie films. In this one, when people are bitten they turn into zombies around exactly 48 hours after the bite. There are no exceptions to this and nothing can be done to stop it. Our film follows a family, consisting of Andy (Martin Freeman), his wife Kay (Susie Porter), and their baby Rosie are trying to make a life in this horrible world. Food, obviously, is a concern. This family lives on a boat and is beginning to run out, the houseboat is in a river somewhere and they have been there for quite some time. Life is safe enough, but in these worlds, the living humans are dangerous too. There is a family on shore that Andy is interested in approaching, but the man has a gun and brandishes it. That's not going to happen. Andy sees a sailboat a bit downriver and goes to inspect it, retrieving a lot of supplies in the process. He's stoked with what happened, but Kay is too excited. She goes back to look for even more, but there was something in the bathroom of the sailboat the entire time. It's roused by her noise and bites her, so her life as she knows it is over. Kay accepts this, but Andy cannot, and he knows they have 48 hours. He intends to abandon the houseboat and seek help. Big mistake, of course.

At the same time, we are shown an Aboriginal girl named Thoomi (Simone Landers). Thoomi is trying to keep an infected man alive, and it's obvious that this is her dad. She feeds him stuff and keeps him locked up so that her mother doesn't kill him, because she believes that his soul can be restored to his body. Obviously, it cannot be. Andy and his family leave the houseboat at the same time as this, looking for a hospital. Thoomi's father wanders into the road while they're driving, and they crash very hard into a tree, which impales Kay and kills her. Andy falls asleep, and when he wakes, he's bitten while getting Rosie out of the car. Andy then notices that the zombie from the road is still wandering around, but Thoomi appears and prevents him from killing her father. Of course, he must push on regardless of what happened to his wife and himself, but he is now going to die. His quest is to find a home for Rosie before the 48 hours expire, before he's a zombie that would eat her. Andy arrives at a school and meets a teacher, but she's older and clearly has cancer, so he's going to push on again. When he finds a truck, he encounters Vic (Anthony Hayes), a lunatic who has shelter and seems to have a wife, Lorraine (Caren Pistorius). The issue is that Lorraine is not his wife, first of all. Second of all, Vic's trapped and enslaved Thoomi in a cage as bait to kill zombies with. His idea is that when the world goes back to normal, he'll have a lot of valuables to trade for things that actaully matter. Clearly Rosie can't stay there either, but they're running out of time.

There are some questions I have that remained unanswered, most of which pertained to the orange marmalade that would seep out of the people who have been bitten. Even though I have those questions, I thought Cargo was alright. The performance by Martin Freeman isn't particularly spectacular, he's outdone by the Aboriginal girl to name one, but the story entirely revolves around him. This creates an issue with my ability to enjoy the film, and the same can be said for the relative lack of action in this zombie movie. I hesitate to call this a horror because it really is not. There's nothing overly scary about Cargo and the film is about the placement of Rosie into a new home before the father meets a disappointing end to his life. I struggled massively with the pacing of this film more than anything else. Cargo is properly nasty to look at, the way it should be, and the zombies looked and acted the way that they should. The stuff with the zombies digging their heads into the ground is a neat touch. I can't quite figure out what that means, but it was interesting to see. The problem is that even though there's good in the film, even though the story is strong, I turned on a zombie movie to see someone mowing them down. I'm not going to lie at all, this wasn't what I wanted to watch tonight. Cargo has what I'd consider to be a heavily inflated Rotten Tomatoes score, and you know, meh. This was okay at best. The lack of true resolution with Vic was also a problem.

5.5/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Roxanne Roxanne
49.   Mary Queen of Scots
50.   Aquaman
51.   Ideal Home
52.   Outlaw King
53.   Overlord
54.   Ready Player One
55.   Ben Is Back
56.   Monsters and Men
57.   The Mule
58.   On the Basis of Sex
59.   Bohemian Rhapsody
60.   White Boy Rick 
61.   Papillon
62.   Game Night
63.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
64.   Instant Family
65.   Alpha
66.   The Front Runner
67.   The Predator
68.   Apostle
69.   The Angel
70.   The Commuter
71.   Beautiful Boy
72.   The Nun
73.   Operation Finale
74.   The Equalizer 2
75.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
76.   Cargo
77.   Yardie
78.   Bird Box
79.   12 Strong
80.   Venom
81.   Skyscraper
82.   The Meg
83.   Assassination Nation
84.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
85.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
86.   22 July
87.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
88.   The Little Stranger
89.   Tomb Raider
90.   Night School
91.   The 15:17 To Paris
92.   Peppermint
93.   Mile 22
94.   The First Purge
95.   Hunter Killer
96.   The Cloverfield Paradox
97.   Mute
98.   Kin
99.   Hell Fest
100.   Proud Mary
101.   Robin Hood
102.   Traffik
103.   The Happytime Murders
104.   The Outsider
105.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #202 on: August 05, 2019, 06:18:09 PM »


Cuba and the Cameraman (2017), directed by Jon Alpert

What we have here is a rather simple documentary. Such documentaries usually follow a very narrow track and there's only so much that can be said about them. Cuba is the kind of country that leads Americans, and for that matter other people around the world, to think about the nation in one of two lights. There is little room for nuance when it comes to this subject. Cuba and the Cameraman is a documentary that to some extent provides exactly that. The thing is, because of what the subject actually is, it's also possible to leave the film feeling like your mindset has been affirmed. You may believe that Cuba is the way it is because other forces have interfered in order to ensure that was what happened. You may also feel that Castro is the reason that Cuba is this way in the first place, that he did things to economically destroy Cuba and ensure people there were impoverished as a result of his policies. Cuba and the Cameraman does not outright seek to provide that middle ground, but it still does so because an examination of the Cuban people is just going to do that. It's clear that I'm not entirely familiar with people who create documentaries, so I am unable to provide any insight about Jon Alpert. Apparently he has been nominated for Academy Awards before. After seeing a documentary filmed in this style, I can see exactly how that would be the case.

The way Cuba and the Cameraman works, was that Jon Alpert had decided to start visiting Cuba at some point in the 1970s. Through some good fortune he had been in an interview room for one of Castro's interviews, after which Castro spotted Alpert toting around his video equipment in a baby carriage. The man was intrigued, and this led to Alpert accompanying him to New York City and interviewing him. There is some footage of Castro in this section that can best be described as one of a kind. That's not all though. Jon Alpert makes the decision to befriend some people along his way. There are three brothers, farmers in rural Cuba who were quite old when he first met them, they persevered past their 90th birthday before dying.  Cristobal, Gregorio, and Angel, they'd seen it all. From the start of La Revolucion, to successful times farming in the 1970s, to the 90s when the island was incredibly impoverished. In the 90s, their oxen were stolen so that other people could have food, the men were rendered unable to till their fields and forced to suffer. Alpert is able to follow them, to some extent anyway, all the way to their death at a very old age. This kind of journey is something I would love to have the opportunity to take on and document, something that a person could never forget. This path spans so much of Alpert's life as well.

That's not all, of course. There's quite a lot of footage depicting the Mariel boatlift. Alpert was able to capture numerous men stating that they'd come straight from prison and been told to leave the island. There were Cubans beaten in the street by their fellow man for seeking asylum via the Peruvian embassy in Havana, there's footage of that as well. Alpert also did not merely follow those four brothers. There's Luis, a man Alpert decides to follow who is eventually imprisoned for trading black market goods. He also meets a family in Havana, one which eventually fractures, with the little girl becoming the matriarch and heading to the United States to provide for her adult children. Such is life in Cuba, as Cuba and the Cameraman presents it. The 1990s were clearly a very terrible time for all Cubans, and Alpert is able to get some footage where Castro explains to him exactly why he feels this to be the case. The people depicted in Cuba and the Cameraman can best be described as salt of the Earth, real people with real problems, there is not anything else I know that gives such a strong insight into the life of the average Cuban. Cuba and the Cameraman is not a perfect documentary either. Alpert's kindness towards Castro, some would describe it as sympathetic or even being fond of him, creates an issue with the objectivity of the journalism in the scenes where Castro himself is speaking. That, however, is how one gets to make a documentary like this one.

I can't say if Alpert was nice to Castro in hopes of making this documentary, there's no way for me to answer that. His lack of agenda and interjection of his own political beliefs allowed him to make this documentary, but many of the Cubans he encountered made obvious their feelings. They did not care for living with Castro and thought the country was bullshit. The people who encountered Alpert saw that he had no agenda of his own and said as much as one could possibly say to a person they hardly knew. As time passes on, one can easily see the problem with Cuba as a whole, and if they haven't made up their mind already this film will certainly help someone do so. The problem is clearly that the blockade has disallowed Cuba from modernizing. The Cuban approach to this problem hasn't helped either, when you hear about how people selling bullshit to tourists make more money than doctors, all you can really do is laugh. The worldwide approach to communism did not give Cuba much of a chance to create a viable country after the Berlin Wall fell, but you can see that may not have mattered anyway. At no point after Alpert's visit in 1979 did Cuba look like a thriving country. The stories of the people who lived in said country, that's who made this documentary worthwhile. It's fair to say that the American public has never had a true depiction of anything related to Cuba. This sort of insight is invaluable.

8/10


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #203 on: August 06, 2019, 06:19:35 PM »


Last Flag Flying (2017), directed by Richard Linklater

Clearly it was time for another one of Richard Linklater's films. Linklater has another one coming out in a few weeks, it is Where'd You Go, Bernadette. I don't know if that's going to be any good, because it was delayed numerous times and it seems like people have decided not to watch his movies. I don't know why people haven't watched his last three efforts, but it's clear that they aren't. In the case of Last Flag Flying, I really don't understand because what we have here is a strong trio of actors. I'm sure that I'm not the only guy who wants to see Steve Carell stop playing these roles where he has to be extremely serious, but I'm fine with seeing him do anything and can live with the idea that he may not ever return to being goofy. Anyway, about the film itself, this is a rather strange movie. It's one I liked, and one I'm not going to say bad things about, but it's different. We have a film focused on people who aren't often focused upon, directed by a filmmaker who does not always know when to leave ideas that bombed out of his movie. I think if you've seen Last Flag Flying, you may know exactly what movie I'm talking about. This can best be classified as a sad road trip flick that made me laugh even though it was sad. This isn't one of Linklater's best films, but it's a strong effort from where I sit. Some people disagree and that's fine, but this is a movie about what happened to your brothers long after they departed a combat zone. When the roles are played by some of my favorite actors, it proves very difficult to remain impartial. I'm not sure that I want to be impartial.

Last Flag Flying is set in 2003, the height of the Iraq War, when the mission was still unaccomplished and immediately after the Bush Administration dared to make such a stupid claim. The mission was so accomplished in fact that our countrymen continued to die in a country they never should have been sent to in the first place. Larry "Doc" Shepherd (Steve Carell) has decided to go on a trip from his home in New Hampshire, visiting the bar of Sal (Bryan Cranston), a Marine that he served with in Vietnam. You see, Doc was also in Vietnam, but he was in the Navy and served time in the brig for things that he'd done. Those things are revealed to you as the film plays out. Anyway, the brig was in Portsmouth and that's where Doc stayed afterward, deciding not to live. Doc and Sal set out from Sal's bar at Doc's behest, with Doc telling Sal that he has a surprise. Does he ever. His surprise is their old buddy, another former Marine, Richard Mueller (Laurence Fishburne). You see, Richard, he's changed. Everyone else remained the same, but he isn't. Doc is still a good guy regardless of what happened in Vietnam, he's quiet and reserved just the same. Sal is boorish and has to talk about everything, he's also an alcoholic who can't hold his liquor in the least. Richard, on the other hand, he's become a preacher. He has a congregation and he has a wife, life is good for him, and the things that happened in Vietnam are in his past.

The thing is, Doc came to find Sal and Richard because there's a taste of Vietnam in his life, because he needs something from them and cannot ask anyone other than those he served with before being given the boot from the Navy. Doc had a son, he joined the Marines as well. The thing is, he was killed in a firefight and Doc needs his friends from the past to go with him to his son's burial at Arlington National Cemetery. Richard doesn't want to go as he feels his time in Vietnam represented a very dark period in his life, and he doesn't really want to get involved with his old friends again. His wife insists, though. So, these three guys decide to push on to Arlington, and we find out that Doc did not quite understand where he was supposed to go. He was not supposed to go straight to Arlington, he was supposed to go to Delaware where his son's body was being transported to. Along the way, we are given a glimpse of the group dynamic, and I had a very difficult time not laughing at this even though one of the people was grieving. I think that my high score for Last Flag Flying is directly related to how funny I thought these scenes were. The official story that Doc was told about how his son died, that's not true though. It's very, very much not true. Sal and Richard are told the real story by Larry Jr's best friend, LCpl. Washington (J. Quinton Johnson). As is often the case in this film, Sal and Richard are at odds. Sal wants to tell Doc the truth, but Richard does not and think it's better to leave things as they are. One of them will get their way.

Last Flag Flying isn't Linklater's best film, but it's strong in large part because of the group dynamic. The events don't quite hit me as hard as they probably should, but I found that Linklater's meandering style didn't bother me in large part because of that dynamic. This film absolutely does meander, that's not something I'd find to even slightly be in question. The thing is that the film hits really hard when it needs to do so. The moments in a road trip movie are rarely all good, and Last Flag Flying is no exception, but the story regarding Doc's trip to the brig really hits hard. The film, of course with the roles I've already laid out, is largely about people who are long forgotten by society. The military has had an tremendous impact on their lives and is still continuing to do so, their role in this machine is obviously placed into question. They had done things, their time passed on and other people were sent to do those things, and the machine keeps on moving as though nothing actually happened to this country at all. There were things that we could have had instead of these wars, but those were things that we were never going to have had in any case. The only people impacted by the wars are those in other countries and those who are sent off to go fight in them. This is clearly difficult for people to accept. Pulling this off in the context of a film is very difficult, but it works. Sal actually comes out with the lines that explain what this film is actually about.

Of course, a film like Last Flag Flying is nothing without its performances, and in the case of this film we have three actors with a very strong screen presence. Some of the gags, like the thing with the U-Haul truck, do not land like Linklater probably expected that they would. That's okay. His film has so much merit beyond that, that it is quite easy to forget about the problems his story has. I already mentioned the conclusion of Doc's Vietnam related story, but there's also the end of the film itself with Larry Jr's funeral. The father knowing what the son would really have wanted is something that rings strong with me. Carell's performance is a particular standout, but Cranston was so different in this role that my mom could hardly recognize him. Apparently this is a sequel to The Last Detail, which I have never seen, but it features Jack Nicholson so I am now quite interested. For me, this film as a whole is one where the positives greatly outweighed the negatives. The period gag with Eminem was when I realized I was probably going to like this film no matter what, and in the end that was true. Even though I liked Carell's performance, I still have a major problem with him taking these roles and find it heavily distracting at best, a detriment to the quality of a film at the worst (Beautiful Boy). This is still well worth your time should you decide to give it a look. Moral questions were presented all over the place.

7.5/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Last Flag Flying
28.   Hostiles
29.   Darkest Hour
30.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
31.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
32.   Sweet Virginia
33.   It
34.   Battle of the Sexes
35.   Stronger
36.   Brad's Status
37.   Okja
38.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
39.   Kong: Skull Island
40.   It Comes at Night
41.   Crown Heights
42.   Split
43.   1922
44.   Personal Shopper
45.   Landline
46.   Beatriz at Dinner
47.   Chuck
48.   Atomic Blonde
49.   Shot Caller
50.   Brigsby Bear
51.   Wheelman
52.   The Lego Batman Movie
53.   Megan Leavey
54.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
55.   Wonderstruck
56.   Only the Brave
57.   Marshall
58.   Menashe
59.   Walking Out
60.   American Made
61.   Annabelle: Creation
62.   Beauty and the Beast
63.   Imperial Dreams
64.   Gifted
65.   Murder on the Orient Express
66.   The Zookeeper's Wife
67.   The Glass Castle
68.   The Foreigner
69.   Free Fire
70.   Win It All
71.   The Wall
72.   Life
73.   My Cousin Rachel
74.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
75.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
76.   The Fate of the Furious
77.   Breathe
78.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
79.   Maudie
80.   Patti Cake$
81.   Sleight
82.   Alone in Berlin
83.   A United Kingdom
84.   Trespass Against Us
85.   The Mountain Between Us
86.   War Machine
87.   Happy Death Day
88.   Lowriders
89.   Justice League
90.   To the Bone
91.   Ghost in the Shell
92.   Wakefield
93.   Bright
94.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
95.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
96.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
97.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
98.   The Mummy
99.   The Greatest Showman
100.   Rough Night
101.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
102.   Sand Castle
103.   The Circle
104.   American Assassin
105.   CHiPs
106.   Death Note
107.   47 Meters Down
108.   The Belko Experiment
109.   The Great Wall
110.   Fist Fight
111.   Baywatch
112.   Snatched
113.   Suburbicon
114.   Wilson
115.   The Dark Tower
116.   Queen of the Desert
117.   The House
118.   Flatliners
119.   Sleepless
120.   Geostorm
121.   All Eyez on Me
122.   The Book of Henry
123.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Bladelock

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #204 on: August 07, 2019, 02:21:24 AM »
Last Detail is a great film that is worth watching and it is definitely of the same vibe. Cranston is kind of doing a Jack impression in this and the two characters are very similar.

I also want Carrell to go back to doing goofier performances, but I think he is great in this movie. If he is going to continue to do depressing roles, I'd prefer if he'd wear heavy make up and be unrecognizable like in Foxcatcher. Larry Fishburne probably steals the movie for me. He gets some funny lines.

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #205 on: August 08, 2019, 02:06:48 PM »


Tag (2018), directed by Jeff Tomsic

Tag was on the list of movies I was going to see when I started going back to the theater without paying for each ticket, but I decided it had already been out a few weeks. That meant I would save it, it turns out I didn't see Tag for another year, and here we are. If I really thought Tag was going to be great, I obviously wouldn't have waited so long. I did, and that's in large part because of Ed Helms. Doesn't everyone hate Ed Helms? Why is he the lead of a movie and how could anyone think he's appealing as a lead? Apparently some people did, but I can't figure out how, and don't know why a studio would do this. Anyway, Tag is a movie that is apparently inspired by a true story, and for proof of that there's video footage at the end of the film showing old guys playing tag with each other. I suppose that last year was the year of comedies that featured adults playing games. I don't know how this started, but I did see that both Game Night and Tag were produced by New Line. The likelihood is that some executive thought this was a hell of an idea and commissioned both films on the spot. I am just guessing though. What's next? A Monopoly movie? You have to think that is, but I would expect another rated R comedy and there apparently isn't one. Warner Bros. is all in next year on stuff like Barbie and a Scooby Doo movie. So, you know, that really sucks. Or does it? I probably won't watch those, but it's likely something else will be released and I won't feel like I'm watching nothing.

Tag is obviously about a game of tag, but what I didn't realize was that it was about five people who were playing the same game of tag since they were nine years old. The rules of the game are rather simple. You tag someone in the month of May, and they're it. When the month ends, the person is it for the rest of the year, and they're a loser until the game starts again the next May. It turns out that Hogan (Ed Helms) was the last one tagged the year before, and he has a plan to start things off. He's going to tag Bob (Jon Hamm), and Bob is now the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, so Hogan has to crash an interview. Rebecca (Annabelle Wallis) is a reporter with the Wall Street Journal and she's writing a profile of Bob, but this whole charade that kicks things off is more interesting than her original profile of Bob to begin with. So, it's time for Rebecca to tag along, but she can't play tag with the boys. They have a rule long standing since they were nine that girls weren't allowed to play with them.

After that, it's time for Hogan and Bob to pick up the rest of their crew. Coming along with them is Hogan's wife Anna (Isla Fisher), who also isn't allowed to play because of said rule, and the rule hasn't been overturned because she is far too competitive. They head to Denver first, where they encounter  "Chilli", otherwise known as Randy (Jake Johnson), but Randy is a shitty name. That's when we also meet Anna, and they tag him after a long chase, which leads to a true. Afterwards, it's time to jump over to Portland, where Kevin (Hannibal Buress) lives. He's had a hard time with his marriage, but he's always up for tag and this is no exception. Last, they have to go to their hometown of Spokane. Why Spokane? It isn't just their hometown, the last of their group still lives there. Jerry (Jeremy Renner) is a gym owner in the area, he is the guy who has never been tagged. It is an obsession with not getting tagged to the point where he didn't invite any of these people to his wedding. He is a professional at this and knows exactly how to get away from this group of goofs. He has his own ideas though. His fiancee Susan (Leslie Bibb) has been sure to write up a contract for everyone to sign, ensuring that they won't mess up the wedding. Jerry also knows that Bob and Chilli have always had a crush on Cheryl (Rashida Jones). So he's just going to invite her to distract them both. Time to find a way to see out the rest of the month.

A movie like this one, where the premise is so stupid sounding, is entirely reliant on the actors to ensure that people laugh throughout. With the exception of Ed Helms, who has never been funny to me at any point in my life, I thought everyone did a pretty good job with this. I do understand what the point of this film is, it's about having life long connections with your friends, but it's rather difficult for most people to relate to that. I don't have any friends that I had when I was that age, and I'm sure most people are in the same boat. The ending comes a little bit out of nowhere near the end, and I'm not sure that I cared very much for it. These movies always have to try to bring some drama into the third act, and I hate it. I'm so sick of it that I cannot even describe how sick of it that I really am. Of course, some is better than others, but nobody is going to make me feel sorry for Ed Helms. Tag is a rather generic comedy movie and there's no reason to mince words about it. There are some good concepts here, more so than there are bad ones. I also thought Isla Fisher went some degree to reducing how bad this could actually have been.

6/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Roxanne Roxanne
49.   Mary Queen of Scots
50.   Aquaman
51.   Ideal Home
52.   Outlaw King
53.   Overlord
54.   Ready Player One
55.   Ben Is Back
56.   Monsters and Men
57.   The Mule
58.   On the Basis of Sex
59.   Bohemian Rhapsody
60.   White Boy Rick 
61.   Papillon
62.   Game Night
63.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
64.   Instant Family
65.   Alpha
66.   The Front Runner
67.   The Predator
68.   Apostle
69.   The Angel
70.   The Commuter
71.   Tag
72.   Beautiful Boy
73.   The Nun
74.   Operation Finale
75.   The Equalizer 2
76.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
77.   Cargo
78.   Yardie
79.   Bird Box
80.   12 Strong
81.   Venom
82.   Skyscraper
83.   The Meg
84.   Assassination Nation
85.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
86.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
87.   22 July
88.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
89.   The Little Stranger
90.   Tomb Raider
91.   Night School
92.   The 15:17 To Paris
93.   Peppermint
94.   Mile 22
95.   The First Purge
96.   Hunter Killer
97.   The Cloverfield Paradox
98.   Mute
99.   Kin
100.   Hell Fest
101.   Proud Mary
102.   Robin Hood
103.   Traffik
104.   The Happytime Murders
105.   The Outsider
106.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #206 on: August 09, 2019, 01:08:55 AM »
The best parts of that movie were the end credits and the Predator references at the golf course.

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #207 on: August 10, 2019, 06:33:08 PM »


The Cured (2018), directed by David Freyne

After what I've watched in the last week, I must admit that it is a little strange I would watch another zombie film. One, after all, was only slightly better than the other, but the two were about extremely different perspectives. Can there be two different perspectives on a potential zombie apocalypse? I suppose so. The Cured is a film that blatantly leans into sequel bait at the end, this is an independent movie someone thought would get strong distribution and a good box office. Of course, that did not happen and we now know that, but this is an interesting case of a movie. This does not happen very often where an independent movie takes that on with that amount of ambition. Is the film good beyond that? I mean, it's good enough and features a good concept, but the ending is so hackneyed I could hardly believe it. Of course, to talk about the movie it is essential to write an explanation, because the title does not go to any lengths to describe what kind of movie this really is. When watching a movie like The Cured, and when the characters do such baffling things that bother me, it's often very difficult to succinctly describe my thoughts. I'll try my best.

The Cured takes place in a different society, and this is not post-apocalyptic at all. There is a title screen that describes the situation and I will do my best. There was a plague called the Maze Virus, it swept through Europe and affected Ireland worst of all. The virus created a horrible situation that led with much of the country evacuated and the rest economically destroyed, but there's more. Of course, this being a zombie movie, the virus transformed the infected into zombies that ate the things they came across, but the Irish were fortunate and their country was not entirely wiped out. A cure was eventually discovered, which separated the country into three groups. There were those never infected, those cured, and those still infected that could not be treated. The latter group consists of 25% of those who were initially infected. Obviously, some people were simply killed. The disease has been ravaging the country for five years, and some of the Cured were Infected for that long as well. It goes without saying, or maybe it doesn't, that the general population is very fearful of the Cured and hold lots of prejudice towards them. They also think that the Infected still living in hopes of another cure that reaches them is a dangerous proposition that could lead to another outbreak.

Now that I've explained the situation, I can start talking about the film itself. Senan (Sam Keeley) is an Irishman who is one of the Cured. After being quarantined, he is set to be released to the car of his sister in law, Abbie (Ellen Page). Abbie is not Irish as I'm sure you can tell, but her son was not born in the US, and as such they aren't allowed to move overseas. So, stuck in Ireland is what they are. Senan is troubled after being released, and there's another wrinkle I haven't mentioned yet. The Cured can remember absolutely everything that happened while they weren't in control of their bodies. Conor (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor) is someone who has been presented as a person Senan met while in quarantine, but this is absolutely not true. You have to understand that this cure, such as it is, affected everyone who needed it in different ways. Some of the people who were Infected have kept their predatory instincts, others cannot get over what they've done, and there are some who stick to the pack mentality that afflicts the Infected. Conor has major influence over Senan and it is clear as the film plays out that those things are the reason why. As far as those who believe the Cured cannot be integrated into society, this element of the population is rather large and holds considerable influence. Some of them will treat the Cured like shit. What's really at play here, is what happened while Senan was infected. It's also important to note that a lot of the Cured are fighting to get their rights back, to get back what they've lost after being bitten. Going from working as a lawyer to being a janitor, that's not going to suffice for some.

Of course, with a zombie movie, there are some concerns that I already addressed in my review of Cargo. One is how much gore the film contains. There needs to be quite a lot. There's a lot. The film has far more elements of horror, but it's slow in the same way that Cargo is. The overarching story, on the other hand, that mark goes to The Cured. It's far superior. The problem is that the end is really not, and it's difficult to decipher the motivations of characters both named and unmentioned. The sequel bait is what it is and I've largely made the decision to ignore that. The ending is bad enough on its own. Regardless of that, there's still motivation for the viewer to stick things out and see what happens because the ending is not an inevitable one. There are many routes that the story could have taken, and they don't end with an already bitten character dying after you know that they're going to die for an hour. The director was desperately trying to create something unique, something about reintegrating people into society in Ireland. I don't think I need to tell you what the Cured and Infected are allegories for, if I do need to then you need to pick up a history book. Everything, as far as that goes anyway, could not posisbly be more blatantly obvious. I thought the film was fresh, but I didn't think it was particularly great. There's some good drama, but the ending got me so badly, and I couldn't give my endorsement to a movie with an ending like this one. Regardless of that, as focused on the story as it is, The Cured definitely has its moments and may be worth a look.

6/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Roxanne Roxanne
49.   Mary Queen of Scots
50.   Aquaman
51.   Ideal Home
52.   Outlaw King
53.   Overlord
54.   Ready Player One
55.   Ben Is Back
56.   Monsters and Men
57.   The Mule
58.   On the Basis of Sex
59.   Bohemian Rhapsody
60.   White Boy Rick 
61.   Papillon
62.   Game Night
63.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
64.   Instant Family
65.   Alpha
66.   The Front Runner
67.   The Predator
68.   Apostle
69.   The Cured
70.   The Commuter
71.   The Angel
72.   Tag
73.   Beautiful Boy
74.   The Nun
75.   Operation Finale
76.   The Equalizer 2
77.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
78.   Cargo
79.   Yardie
80.   Bird Box
81.   12 Strong
82.   Venom
83.   Skyscraper
84.   The Meg
85.   Assassination Nation
86.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
87.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
88.   22 July
89.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
90.   The Little Stranger
91.   Tomb Raider
92.   Night School
93.   The 15:17 To Paris
94.   Peppermint
95.   Mile 22
96.   The First Purge
97.   Hunter Killer
98.   The Cloverfield Paradox
99.   Mute
100.   Kin
101.   Hell Fest
102.   Proud Mary
103.   Robin Hood
104.   Traffik
105.   The Happytime Murders
106.   The Outsider
107.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #208 on: August 12, 2019, 07:08:56 PM »


Thank You for Your Service (2017), directed by Jason Hall

When Thank You for Your Service was released, I remember a lot of disappointment because people were expecting a movie that "honored our heroes" and it wasn't to their liking. Apparently it is not honoring our heroes to actually tell the stories of the struggles that they go through. We must show them being Rambo in order for these movies to feel like reality for some people, even if that reality does not exist. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about this film myself. I think it's hard to make a movie about PTSD without it feeling like exploitation of this problem, and it is a major problem that is still largely unignored. There are scenes with real poignancy here, but this is also the kind of film that should have been made 10 years ago and not just now in 2019. That being said, you know, no studio would have dared to do that. We've seen movies like this one, but they're largely related to the physical disabilities that a soldier may encounter, not about this specific subject. We aren't talking about a fantastic movie, but it was good and I found myself invested in the characters. One in particular, the one with a physical disability, absolutely steals the movie away from the lead. Does this really hit new ground though? I'm not sure if it does, but I'm also not sure that's required of a film in order for me to say that it's good.

Thank You for Your Service is about three men who returned from Iraq after their deployments. All three of them were in a different stage of their life. PFC Billy Waller (Joe Cole) is headed home after deployment, looking to get married, but it seems that he's going to push on with the army and head back once again. SSG Adam Schumann (Miles Teller) is on his last deployment, looking to leave the military once he's done. He has a wife, Saskia (Haley Bennett), and two children, one of whom was born while Schumann was overseas this last time. This was his third tour. Specialist Tausolo Aieti (Beulah Koale) is a lifer, at least until he isn't, he's no longer allowed to go back. With a wife at home and baby on the way, there's a problem, he has suffered a traumatic brain injury. Their humvee was blown up by an IED while Schumann was not in it, a fact which he blames himself for. He was not in it, someone else was in his spot, and he died. Aieti is now very much damaged, and for that matter so is Schumann. There's more too. At the start of the film, Schumann was tasked with rescuing another shoulder from a building under fire, after they were shot in the head. Somehow Emory (Scott Haze) did not die from the shot, and he did not die when Schumann dropped him either. Instead, Emory is a cripple and Schumann blames himself for dropping him, but there's also an unspoken element that is not revealed until much later.

Thank You for Your Service does not have a complicated plot, or a huge group of characters, or really anything that would lead to a very long review. It's a movie about post traumatic stress, about traumatic brain injuries suffered in war and the things that could result from that. Solo Aieti forgetting everything was extremely frustrating to say the least, but it was very true to the character and his problems. This is a movie that I feel is perfect for a lot of people to watch and know that others go through the same problems as them. A lot of the families of veterans go through these issues and never receive any help, or the help is too long in coming. I thought that Solo was a character who completely stole the movie away and I was more interested in his scenes than anyone else's. That's a flaw of sorts, I suppose, but it speaks to the level of his performance, or rather how I saw the construction of the character. Thank You for Your Service is a heavy-handed movie, but that's because the subject matter requires it to be one. This is a movie that people who decide to take soldiers off to war really need to watch, it's one that they never would because it doesn't fit into their idea of masculinity. Masculinity, to the people in the White House who've never been off to war, doesn't equate to coming home with mental issues as a result of what happened overseas. Of course, we have a shitty country and that goes without saying, this is one of the reasons it's a shitty country.

The film's heavy tone is welcome, considering what I've watched in the last few weeks. What I was thinking was that I was glad this was relatively free of humor, with only one funny scene coming to mind at this time. The direction of Thank You for Your Service isn't great, the story here is good enough that I could imagine this film being a lot better with a different director. The cinematography and everything like that, it's lacking more than you'd think. The script, which was written by the director, is really strong though. It's not like the film would have a different director when the person wrote it to begin with. It's also crazy that we still haven't removed our troops from the Middle East, not in the context of this film, but when they throw things back to 2007 the viewer is made to realize that we're still there. Anyway, this almost felt like a documentary, and if it had been one, that wouldn't be too shocking either. The scenes at the VA building are very realistic, to say the least. Those places are some of the most depressing on this entire planet. They're full of people who are lied to by our country, given orders to do things they should not have to do, to be a peacekeeping force when that wasn't their role in being sent to foreign countries in the first place. How to deal with that? I don't even know.

Sorry if this feels like a sloppy review, but I am burning myself out a little bit.

7/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Last Flag Flying
28.   Hostiles
29.   Darkest Hour
30.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
31.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
32.   Sweet Virginia
33.   It
34.   Battle of the Sexes
35.   Stronger
36.   Brad's Status
37.   Okja
38.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
39.   Kong: Skull Island
40.   It Comes at Night
41.   Crown Heights
42.   Split
43.   1922
44.   Personal Shopper
45.   Landline
46.   Thank You for Your Service
47.   Beatriz at Dinner
48.   Chuck
49.   Atomic Blonde
50.   Shot Caller
51.   Brigsby Bear
52.   Wheelman
53.   The Lego Batman Movie
54.   Megan Leavey
55.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
56.   Wonderstruck
57.   Only the Brave
58.   Marshall
59.   Menashe
60.   Walking Out
61.   American Made
62.   Annabelle: Creation
63.   Beauty and the Beast
64.   Imperial Dreams
65.   Gifted
66.   Murder on the Orient Express
67.   The Zookeeper's Wife
68.   The Glass Castle
69.   The Foreigner
70.   Free Fire
71.   Win It All
72.   The Wall
73.   Life
74.   My Cousin Rachel
75.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
76.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
77.   The Fate of the Furious
78.   Breathe
79.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
80.   Maudie
81.   Patti Cake$
82.   Sleight
83.   Alone in Berlin
84.   A United Kingdom
85.   Trespass Against Us
86.   The Mountain Between Us
87.   War Machine
88.   Happy Death Day
89.   Lowriders
90.   Justice League
91.   To the Bone
92.   Ghost in the Shell
93.   Wakefield
94.   Bright
95.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
96.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
97.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
98.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
99.   The Mummy
100.   The Greatest Showman
101.   Rough Night
102.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
103.   Sand Castle
104.   The Circle
105.   American Assassin
106.   CHiPs
107.   Death Note
108.   47 Meters Down
109.   The Belko Experiment
110.   The Great Wall
111.   Fist Fight
112.   Baywatch
113.   Snatched
114.   Suburbicon
115.   Wilson
116.   The Dark Tower
117.   Queen of the Desert
118.   The House
119.   Flatliners
120.   Sleepless
121.   Geostorm
122.   All Eyez on Me
123.   The Book of Henry
124.   The Space Between Us


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #209 on: August 13, 2019, 05:46:10 PM »


Daddy's Home 2 (2017), directed by Sean Anders

I cannot guarantee that you're going to get the full greatness from me right now. I have a story to tell. There once was a time I watched Daddy's Home with my dad. This was one of the most excruciating experiences, but it paled in comparison to trying to write a review. That was the first, and to this date only time that I have been too disgusted with what I watched to write a review of any length down. There have been others where I didn't write much, but that had nothing to do with the quality of the film itself. I wrote about two paragraphs and trashed it because I could not compel myself to write more. It was making me sick. Now, if you really want to know what sick is, you should watch Daddy's Home 2. I am forcing myself to write this, and I'm just going to post the end result once I get too fed up to continue. I do not think I've ever watched something where I hated all the characters more than I did while watching Daddy's Home 2. Mel Gibson's character was contemptible as well, but when I found myself in a situation where his scenes were the only thing getting me through this, I don't know if there's anything I can say that would help everyone understand this atrocity. Almost nothing I've seen before could possibly compare to a movie where I was hoping for all the characters to get in a plane crash and die at the end of it. All of them.

I don't know how to talk about this, and it was ten minutes between the time I started writing this paragraph and finishing the last one. I'm just going to set this shit up as best as I can. Brad (Will Ferrell) and Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) were feuding step parents in the previous film, and now they're not. These guys are co-dads, they act fucking stupid together, and all that. Dusty has married Karen (Alessandra Ambrosio), and Brad is still married to Sara (Linda Cardellini). Once it's Christmas time, all the kids have to come together in order for things to go more smoothly. Dusty and Sara had their two kids, Sara and Brad have their one kid, and Karen had a kid with Roger (John Cena). Kill me now.

With this being Christmas and all, family has to fly in so that everyone can be happy. We are given the pleasure of meeting Dusty's dad Kurt (Mel Gibson) and Brad's dad Don (John Lithgow). Kurt thinks that his son has turned into a bitch, and Don pretty much is a bitch. Kurt makes the decision to rent everyone a cabin for Christmas, and at this point I realized that everyone traded living in New Orleans for living in Boston, and it is completely unmentioned throughout this piece of shit. Anyway, Kurt's reason for renting the cabin is to stir up some shit, to see everything explodes. He knows what he's doing, I guess. Our journey features gags that don't land, with the exception of one or two that land for the wrong reason. We are subjected to this for around 90 minutes, give or take. This is hell.

The thing that gets me about films like this one, is something I'm sure bothers everyone else. I don't understand how or why someone would debase themselves to this extent for a paycheck. It doesn't even matter how much of a paycheck this is, it couldn't have been that much. The whole thing is embarrassing. The worst part is that Will Ferrell produced the movie, so there's a chance that he just FUCKING LIKED IT. Imagine that shit. I know after one of Ferrell's last movies, it was decided to split his shared production company with Adam McKay, and I can only imagine that it's somewhat related to this movie. The Wikipedia page is telling me that associating with Will Ferrell is very bad for business. There's one bomb after the next, and one very bad movie after the next. All of these movies have bombed and these two guys couldn't possibly have so much money that they could continue to fund them. I hope we are spared of a third Daddy's Home, but I can tell you right now that I am not going to go into a theater and watch that shit if there is one. There's another movie with John Cena that comes out later this year, it's called Playing With Fire and has one of the worst trailers I've ever seen. I'll put myself through watching that, but not in front of other people. There are limits, and I would feel shame.

As for Daddy's Home 2 itself, what can I really say? I think I've said all that there is, because there aren't words for how bad these gags are. I found myself completely turning on John Lithgow, who is a great actor, but this was just embarrassing. That there are people who actually liked this, and they must have considering the box office tuned up a nice $180.4 million total, is an absolutely sickening thought. There is hardly anything in this that a non-mentally handicapped person should be laughing at. If it wasn't for my rule about not turning off movies like this one, I think I would have turned it off about 20 minutes in. The funny part is that this franchise is chock full of toxic masculinity, of cuckery, but in the second film there's no statement made about any of that stuff. There has never been a worse franchise in the history of cinema, that I am sure of. This was such a painful experience. I think I am done with my review because I just can't do more, but I must depart with this. Even people who should have great taste sometimes do not.

https://www.vulture.com/2017/06/sofia-coppola-calls-daddys-home-one-of-her-favorite-movies.html

FUCKING WHAT

1/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Last Flag Flying
28.   Hostiles
29.   Darkest Hour
30.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
31.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
32.   Sweet Virginia
33.   It
34.   Battle of the Sexes
35.   Stronger
36.   Brad's Status
37.   Okja
38.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
39.   Kong: Skull Island
40.   It Comes at Night
41.   Crown Heights
42.   Split
43.   1922
44.   Personal Shopper
45.   Landline
46.   Thank You for Your Service
47.   Beatriz at Dinner
48.   Chuck
49.   Atomic Blonde
50.   Shot Caller
51.   Brigsby Bear
52.   Wheelman
53.   The Lego Batman Movie
54.   Megan Leavey
55.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
56.   Wonderstruck
57.   Only the Brave
58.   Marshall
59.   Menashe
60.   Walking Out
61.   American Made
62.   Annabelle: Creation
63.   Beauty and the Beast
64.   Imperial Dreams
65.   Gifted
66.   Murder on the Orient Express
67.   The Zookeeper's Wife
68.   The Glass Castle
69.   The Foreigner
70.   Free Fire
71.   Win It All
72.   The Wall
73.   Life
74.   My Cousin Rachel
75.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
76.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
77.   The Fate of the Furious
78.   Breathe
79.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
80.   Maudie
81.   Patti Cake$
82.   Sleight
83.   Alone in Berlin
84.   A United Kingdom
85.   Trespass Against Us
86.   The Mountain Between Us
87.   War Machine
88.   Happy Death Day
89.   Lowriders
90.   Justice League
91.   To the Bone
92.   Ghost in the Shell
93.   Wakefield
94.   Bright
95.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
96.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
97.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
98.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
99.   The Mummy
100.   The Greatest Showman
101.   Rough Night
102.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
103.   Sand Castle
104.   The Circle
105.   American Assassin
106.   CHiPs
107.   Death Note
108.   47 Meters Down
109.   The Belko Experiment
110.   The Great Wall
111.   Fist Fight
112.   Baywatch
113.   Snatched
114.   Suburbicon
115.   Wilson
116.   The Dark Tower
117.   Queen of the Desert
118.   The House
119.   Flatliners
120.   Sleepless
121.   Geostorm
122.   All Eyez on Me
123.   The Book of Henry
124.   The Space Between Us
125.   Daddy's Home 2


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Harley Quinn

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #210 on: August 13, 2019, 11:15:30 PM »
I legit never thought I'd see you give you a 1/10 towards a movie... bah gawd the review thread has been broken in half! Caveat: I have never seen either Daddy's Home movie and have no intention to ever bother.

Offline Bladelock

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #211 on: August 14, 2019, 02:43:44 AM »
Will Ferrell's shtick gets really sad as he ages. I can't watch his movies anymore unless he sprinkles in some dramatic stuff like Sandler does.

"Looks at IMDB and sees"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6314510/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_2

Okay, he's worst than Sandler.

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #212 on: August 14, 2019, 04:09:38 AM »
Yeah, he's worse. At least Sandler has his dramatic performances to look forward to. Other than Step Brothers and the first Anchorman, I think I could do without Will Ferrell having ever existed.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Harley Quinn

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #213 on: August 14, 2019, 05:01:32 AM »
Yeah, he's worse. At least Sandler has his dramatic performances to look forward to. Other than Step Brothers and the first Anchorman, I think I could do without Will Ferrell having ever existed.

No love for his performance in Stranger Than Fiction or Elf? I find those 2 the ones I tend to like most, aside from Anchorman, from his film discography.

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #214 on: August 14, 2019, 05:03:59 AM »
Don't like Elf, haven't seen the other.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #215 on: August 14, 2019, 05:07:29 AM »
I think his best performance is in “Everything Must Go.” He should do more like that.

Actually saw “The Farewell” yesterday, glad the director didn’t compromise her vision. Agreed that the movie is relatable for many different reasons and white washing it would’ve damaged the authenticity.

Offline Bladelock

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #216 on: August 14, 2019, 05:12:37 AM »
Yeah, he's worse. At least Sandler has his dramatic performances to look forward to. Other than Step Brothers and the first Anchorman, I think I could do without Will Ferrell having ever existed.

He was great in the SNL context and I like him on The Office a lot. Weirdly enough he was probably the best part of Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, but that might've been his best use. As a weirdo that you can throw in as a funny supporting character rather than make the lead where you have to deal with that for 90-120 minutes.

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #217 on: August 14, 2019, 06:31:13 AM »
Will Ferrell hate and not a single mention of Bewitched?

Offline Epic for the Summer

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #218 on: August 14, 2019, 06:35:39 AM »
Farrell peaked over a decade ago and has been on a steady decline since. His best comedies were helmed by Adam McKay and even during that period he was in shit like Bewitched, Land of the Lost, and Semi-Pro.

His best performance was "A Night at the Roxbury" and I will not hear otherwise.

And speaking of Sandler, he had Punch Drunk Love and the (underrated) Reign Over Me.

Offline Bladelock

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #219 on: August 14, 2019, 07:20:33 AM »
Sandler was really good in the recent The Meyerowitz Stories and is also in the next film by The Safdie Brothers who made he awesome movie everyone should see called Good Time.

Offline YEAAAAAH, WE DID IT AGAIN!

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #220 on: August 14, 2019, 08:49:10 AM »
Sandler was really good in the recent The Meyerowitz Stories and is also in the next film by The Safdie Brothers who made he awesome movie everyone should see called Good Time.
"Good Time" was my favorite movie of 2017 (the other two were "Get Out" and "Brawl in Cell Block 99.")

Sandler actually did a decent job hosting SNL last season. I can't remember if it was the last season or the one before, but I remember really hating Ferrell last time he hosted.


yes i am a "HO"

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Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #221 on: August 14, 2019, 08:56:22 AM »
We need a Good Time thread. Feel like it’s mentioned here and there and we all love it. Should be Good Time thread that turns into the Lighthouse thread.

Offline The King of Trash

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #222 on: August 14, 2019, 10:25:15 AM »
film discography.

LMAO

Ferrell hasn't made anything good in a while but in his prime he was good or great in:

Roxbury (One of the most underrated comedies of the past thirty years)
Ladies Man
Zoolander
Old School (GOAT scene with comedy chat legend SWS)
Anchorman
Ricky Bobby
Stepbrothers

I like all those movies too, though some are barely likeable to me. Also his stuff as James Lipton was hilarious, NBC makes it hard to find that stuff online outside of their site though.

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #223 on: August 14, 2019, 10:28:46 AM »
Roxbury is good too, legit forgot about that. The rest? Trash pile.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline strummer

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #224 on: August 14, 2019, 10:50:35 AM »
Sandler was really good in the recent The Meyerowitz Stories and is also in the next film by The Safdie Brothers who made he awesome movie everyone should see called Good Time.
"Good Time" was my favorite movie of 2017 (the other two were "Get Out" and "Brawl in Cell Block 99.")

Sandler actually did a decent job hosting SNL last season. I can't remember if it was the last season or the one before, but I remember really hating Ferrell last time he hosted.

Ferrell hosted in the 2017/2018 season

Thought Sandler was fantastic as host this season.  By far my favorite episode of the season. He got an Emmy nod for it.

Unfortunately he's now shooting a terrible sounding movie called "Hubie Halloween" with Kevin James

Offline The King of Trash

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #225 on: August 14, 2019, 11:25:25 AM »
Roxbury is good too, legit forgot about that. The rest? Trash pile.



hating on will ferrell sonning james carville smfh

Offline Bladelock

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #226 on: August 14, 2019, 11:32:32 AM »
Old School I remember loving when I was 15 but I haven't seen it in 10 years or longer. It seems very of the time with appearances from Andy Dick and my main man the SWS.

Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #227 on: August 14, 2019, 11:35:43 AM »
Roxbury is good too, legit forgot about that. The rest? Trash pile.


Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #228 on: August 15, 2019, 03:06:50 PM »


Ocean's Eight (2018), directed by Gary Ross

Did you ever want to see a reboot of Ocean's Eleven with a completely different cast? Those movies are so sacred to some that they couldn't handle the idea of a cast completely featuring women, which is absolutely absurd and ridiculous. It is not surprising that some people would freak out over it though. Ocean's Eight isn't a gimmick, I wouldn't say that at all. It is, however, simply not as good as two of the films in the trilogy. There are reasons why and they have absolutely nothing to do with the cast, which is rather strong. Direction is one of those things that is lacking. The fact is, Ocean's Eight didn't have Steven Soderbergh to call on because he's never going to do anything with a large budget ever again. The man has still continued to make heist movies, because it's hard not to do so. Ocean's Twelve was a huge whiff, but the rest of these have all been good to various extents. I'm not overly effusive with praise, it's one of my goals in life to turn that down a little bit, but I liked Ocean's Eight well enough. I also thought this was the perfect movie to watch with my mom on her birthday. I was correct in that assumption. I don't think it's my perspective that's warped here when I say that these films are not sacred, in fact none of them are. I think people need to accept at some point it is time to stop holding works of entertainment dear to one's heart, and it is time to push on in life.

Of course, when there's a film called Ocean's Eight, someone shouldn't be surprised to see that the spinoff is going to create a character related to Danny Ocean. Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock) is his sister, and she has been in prison for five years. Attempting to gain parole is nowhere near as difficult as you'd think it would be for a felon, but she has a plan and knows exactly how to con people. She got in prison in the first place because she became involved with the wrong guy, a man named Claude Becker (Richard Armitage) who framed her for a crime that he committed, but he sure as hell wasn't going to go down for it. Anyway, when she gets out, it's time to put together a crew almost instantly. Ocean's Eight has build, but it isn't the kind of build where you get a bunch of meaningless character shit before diving straight into the heist and planning of it. Debbie's intention is to rob the Met Gala and steal a $150 million necklace from Cartier, but there's a lot that goes into planning such an operation. Fortunately, she's had five years to think about all this and run through every possible scenario. Not just every scenario, but every way in which this could go wrong. As far as making a heist film goes, that creates somewhat of a problem.

So, the crew. Gotta start talking about that as soon as I can. Lou (Cate Blanchett) was her partner-in-crime, and there's a good flashback scene where they see how this is. It made me laugh quite a bit. In order to pull this off, specialists are needed. You have a hacker, Nine Ball (Rihanna); a pickpocket, Constance (Awkwafina); a jeweler who doesn't like her current job, Amita (Mindy Kaling); a fence named Tammy (Sarah Paulson); and lastly, perhaps most importantly, there's the bankrupt fashion designer, Rose Weil (Helena Bonham Carter). Why would a heist team need all these things? Well, you need a mark. The mark is Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway), a famous actress who doesn't have anyone designing her look for the Met Gala. So, you know, there's a window there for some idiot to unwittingly help them steal something. The thing is, this necklace is so expensive that Cartier has a security team with the necklace at all times. It also goes without saying that there will be unforeseen issues, but Ocean's Eight is a movie where things slide into place, where these very talented women are able to steal something specifically because they're women and aren't expected to pull anything off.

While the premise in Ocean's Eight is solid, the way that the team doesn't meet any true resistance is an enormous problem. A similar problem is that James Corden has a role in the film, which takes me out of things instantly. Sorry, he and Jimmy Fallon should go away. The heist team does pretty well and has good chemistry, but the movie is more goofy than it is serious, and once I reached the point at which I realized everything was going to come off without a hitch, that made for difficult viewing. The movie's fun, but I think it should have been more than that. The characters, fun as they are, are a little bit underutilized. Sarah Paulson's character gets more screen time than Rihanna and Awkwafina do. I have no idea why that is and I can't even think to answer that issue. There should be a sequel though. When the team doesn't encounter anything difficult, when the job goes well and everyone is shown to be professional and very capable at doing their job, it doesn't make for the best film in the world. I actually forgot that I had to finish writing this, that's how much of a merely above average movie this was.

6.5/10

2018 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Roma
2.   A Star Is Born
3.   First Reformed
4.   The Favourite
5.   Widows
6.   First Man
7.   BlacKkKlansman
8.   Blindspotting
9.   Leave No Trace
10.   Black Panther
11.   If Beale Street Could Talk
12.   The Sisters Brothers
13.   A Private War
14.   Avengers: Infinity War
15.   Stan & Ollie
16.   Green Book
17.   Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
18.   Mission: Impossible - Fallout
19.   The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
20.   On My Skin
21.   Private Life
22.   Climax
23.   Can You Ever Forgive Me?
24.   Mid90s
25.   Eighth Grade
26.   Sorry to Bother You
27.   Suspiria
28.   Vice
29.   The Old Man & the Gun
30.   Vox Lux
31.   Bad Times at the El Royale
32.   The Other Side of the Wind
33.   Searching
34.   A Simple Favor
35.   The Hate U Give
36.   Unsane
37.   Disobedience
38.   Boy Erased
39.   Bumblebee
40.   Mary Poppins Returns
41.   Creed II
42.   Hold the Dark
43.   The Land of Steady Habits
44.   Halloween
45.   Ant-Man and the Wasp
46.   Blockers
47.   Beirut
48.   Roxanne Roxanne
49.   Mary Queen of Scots
50.   Aquaman
51.   Ideal Home
52.   Outlaw King
53.   Overlord
54.   Ready Player One
55.   Ben Is Back
56.   Monsters and Men
57.   The Mule
58.   On the Basis of Sex
59.   Bohemian Rhapsody
60.   White Boy Rick 
61.   Papillon
62.   Game Night
63.   Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado
64.   Ocean's Eight
65.   Instant Family
66.   Alpha
67.   The Front Runner
68.   The Predator
69.   Apostle
70.   The Cured
71.   The Commuter
72.   The Angel
73.   Tag
74.   Beautiful Boy
75.   The Nun
76.   Operation Finale
77.   The Equalizer 2
78.   The Spy Who Dumped Me
79.   Cargo
80.   Yardie
81.   Bird Box
82.   12 Strong
83.   Venom
84.   Skyscraper
85.   The Meg
86.   Assassination Nation
87.   The Girl in the Spider's Web
88.   The House with a Clock in Its Walls
89.   22 July
90.   Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
91.   The Little Stranger
92.   Tomb Raider
93.   Night School
94.   The 15:17 To Paris
95.   Peppermint
96.   Mile 22
97.   The First Purge
98.   Hunter Killer
99.   The Cloverfield Paradox
100.   Mute
101.   Kin
102.   Hell Fest
103.   Proud Mary
104.   Robin Hood
105.   Traffik
106.   The Happytime Murders
107.   The Outsider
108.   Slender Man


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #229 on: August 15, 2019, 06:26:41 PM »


The Snowman (2017), directed by Jonas Alfredson

What we have here, and what we've continued to have almost the entirety of this week for myself, is one bad decision after the next when it comes to which films I'm watching. I need to space my trash out a little bit better, it seems. After Daddy's Home 2, there's no way it could get worse, that's something I've never been more sure of even after watching The Snowman. The rate at which characters appear and disappear from this film despite being part of a strong cast, with a director who has made some good films, is rather shocking. I have read some complaints from the director about the production schedule, saying that they didn't film the entire screenplay, Val Kilmer had throat cancer and couldn't talk, and the last thing I can think to mention is that they went into production right after getting their budget. Basically, Alfredson says that none of this was his fault and it was entirely due to the production company/studio. So, alright. That's not a good enough explanation. There were things in this movie that weren't right, bad scenes that didn't seem to be filmed in a way where I could understand them, and an absolutely incomprehensible screenplay that would not have been fixed merely be more additional scenes. Alfredson has made a complicated film in a good way before, but this is a film that never should have seen the light of day. The last scene is also a hilarious attempt to make people interested in a sequel, a second case if you will. This film did have characters that should have been interesting, but I am absolutely not interested in another film.

The Snowman begins sometime in the past, in an area of Norway with seemingly no people, a family quite isolated. A woman confronts a man about their son, saying that she is going to tell his wife that this older man has fathered a child with a much younger woman. When the son overhears this, he runs outside to make a snowman, and the man leaves as well. The woman and son give chase, lose him in the snow, and the mother decides to kill herself in a frozen lake. The son departs, and we kick forward to present times. Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) is your typical, cliched excellent cop with a troubled past and present. In this case, his troubles are related to the drink, a bottle he wants to put down he has not yet met. Harry works in Oslo as a murder investigator and it is made clear that he needs to get his act together, but it has been difficult. He's broken up with his girlfriend Rakel (Charlotte Gainsbourg), and their son Oleg doesn't know (Michael Yates) that Harry is his father as a matter of choice. Why someone would withhold that information, I can't yet figure out. Anyway, Oleg mentions to Harry at one point that his mother refuses to let him search for his father. I think you can see how stupid The Snowman is going to be based on this one storyline alone. I will continue though.

One day, Harry receives a letter signed with the drawing of a snowman, and he is paired with a new recruit, Katrine (Rebecca Ferguson). The Snowman is a movie that has not met a cliche that it didn't like. There's a reason Katrine is searching for the person they're searching for, and I don't want you to watch the movie, but it's probably the reason you'd think. Dropped in throughout this investigation are clips of Gert Rafto (Val Kilmer), in the midst of investigating a killer, which we come to find out are one and the same. Katrine is his daughter. Anyway, they're assigned to a missing persons case, and another, and another. It is clear there is a serial killer roaming around Norway, and Katrine seems to think that it's Arve Stop (J.K. Simmons). The reason she believes so, is because he's a business magnate of some kind. He's also very powerful, and I can't really tyell you what other point this film is trying to make because it's indecipherable.

I don't understand how The Snowman was made to begin with, but I suppose that this is based on a series of novels, of which there are twelve. THERE ARE TWELVE BOOKS ABOUT HARRY HOLE. I don't really know what to say about that, but I have to talk about how boring this was. I think this may have been the most boring film I have ever watched. It is not because The Snowman isn't goofy, because it is, but because the subject matter is so dry that it isn't anywhere near goofy enough. The plot is incomprensible and it's hard to actually follow the film. When I saw Chloe Sevigny playing two different characters, and I saw that it being treated like a big nothing, I don't understand what this film was even supposed to be. The serial killer using snowmen as his calling card is properly goofy, but it just isn't played that way. It isn't played for laughs at all, it depends what the viewer is thinking at the time they see the scene. There are also a lot of things in the trailer that don't exist in the film at all. You have to wonder how difficult this movie really was. Why would the director sign on to direct a film with this script? I can't figure that out. The worst thing, and I can't figure out if this is true to the books nor do I give a fuck, is that they just up and killed one of the characters before the end of the film. It's like it was nothing.

If you want to know how bad The Snowman is, let me put it to you this way. Thelma Schoonmaker is Martin Scorsese's editor. She's edited a lot of great films. There is clearly no way in which someone with her talent could edit this film into anything resembling a good cut. You know how bad that is? It's laughable. The scenes where Val  Kilmer's voice is dubbed over isn't even the worst. I'm fairly certain there's a scene where the killer is talking and his audio is edited out. I cannot tell you why this would happen, I'm just making clear what kind of movie this is. Piece of shit movie? Absolutely. It's also horribly made to say the least, but the content in it could have been much worse. Films like The Book of Henry and Daddy's Home 2 are so laughable that I could hardly make it through them at all. I was thinking for the entirety of those pictures that I wanted to shut them off. With The Snowman, I was thinking about how I could make it through the film before falling asleep. As you can see here, I didn't fall asleep. The film is just lacking anything that makes a halfway decent murder mystery. The basics are not here.

2/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Last Flag Flying
28.   Hostiles
29.   Darkest Hour
30.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
31.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
32.   Sweet Virginia
33.   It
34.   Battle of the Sexes
35.   Stronger
36.   Brad's Status
37.   Okja
38.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
39.   Kong: Skull Island
40.   It Comes at Night
41.   Crown Heights
42.   Split
43.   1922
44.   Personal Shopper
45.   Landline
46.   Thank You for Your Service
47.   Beatriz at Dinner
48.   Chuck
49.   Atomic Blonde
50.   Shot Caller
51.   Brigsby Bear
52.   Wheelman
53.   The Lego Batman Movie
54.   Megan Leavey
55.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
56.   Wonderstruck
57.   Only the Brave
58.   Marshall
59.   Menashe
60.   Walking Out
61.   American Made
62.   Annabelle: Creation
63.   Beauty and the Beast
64.   Imperial Dreams
65.   Gifted
66.   Murder on the Orient Express
67.   The Zookeeper's Wife
68.   The Glass Castle
69.   The Foreigner
70.   Free Fire
71.   Win It All
72.   The Wall
73.   Life
74.   My Cousin Rachel
75.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
76.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
77.   The Fate of the Furious
78.   Breathe
79.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
80.   Maudie
81.   Patti Cake$
82.   Sleight
83.   Alone in Berlin
84.   A United Kingdom
85.   Trespass Against Us
86.   The Mountain Between Us
87.   War Machine
88.   Happy Death Day
89.   Lowriders
90.   Justice League
91.   To the Bone
92.   Ghost in the Shell
93.   Wakefield
94.   Bright
95.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
96.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
97.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
98.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
99.   The Mummy
100.   The Greatest Showman
101.   Rough Night
102.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
103.   Sand Castle
104.   The Circle
105.   American Assassin
106.   CHiPs
107.   Death Note
108.   47 Meters Down
109.   The Belko Experiment
110.   The Great Wall
111.   Fist Fight
112.   Baywatch
113.   Snatched
114.   Suburbicon
115.   Wilson
116.   The Dark Tower
117.   Queen of the Desert
118.   The House
119.   Flatliners
120.   Sleepless
121.   Geostorm
122.   All Eyez on Me
123.   The Snowman
124.   The Book of Henry
125.   The Space Between Us
126.   Daddy's Home 2


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline The King of Trash

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #230 on: August 16, 2019, 12:01:46 AM »
damn it was running a 3 rating, what made you drop it another full point?

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #231 on: Today at 06:18:27 PM »


Wonder (2017), directed by Stephen Chbosky

Have you ever sat down to watch a movie and felt like you were being emotionally manipulated? I'm sure that's true for everyone, but how many times that you watched a movie like that did you actually feel the way that the director wanted you to. Certainly I wasn't going through Kleenex while watching Wonder, and in truth I can't even tell you the last time that I cried while watching a movie. Wonder was a novel written by an author who had an incident while out in public, where their son had noticed a girl with a severe facial deformity and started to cry. The author subsequently tried to leave the place but the situation got a lot worse. Some of the details in the book are different in order to make things easier for people to understsand and not to overwhelm, but Wonder is one of those movies where you have one character say the title of the movie. Because, of course it is. I was going with this until around that point, but fortunately that point was near the damn end of the movie. I cannot properly illustate how much that bothers me. Even though the film does brazenly mess with your emotions, and make you think about things as you're watching the film, it's not all that bad. There are things I was thinking about my own time in school, and I'm certain that was what the director was intending to achieve. At least this isn't a movie that is actively bashing you over the head with moments that are supposed to make you feel bad.

A person should bear in mind that Wonder is rated PG, and the point is supposed to be for parents to watch the film with their children. Auggie (Jacob Tremblay) is a 10 year old who lives in Brooklyn with his mother Isabel (Julia Roberts), father Nate (Owen Wilson), his sister 'Via' (Izabela Vidovic), and their dog Daisy. Life should be happy, and most of the time it is, but some of the time it isn't. Auggie was born with Treacher Collins syndrome, which can best be described as a genetic disorder that leads to someone being born with a messed up face. Auggie has had 27 surgeries, they've fixed his face the best they can do, and he's been home-schooled for five years now. With fifth grade upcoming, his parents have decided to enroll him in private school. The kid needs to have friends, and his mother can't home school him forever. That isn't healthy. Before the school year begins, he meets with the principal, Mr. Tushman (Mandy Patinkin). It seems clear that the school is going to do everything they can to protect Auggie. He is to take a tour with three other students, Jack (Noah Jupe), Charlotte (Elle McKinnon), and Julian (Bryce Gheisar). It is also very quickly made clear that Julian is going to bully Auggie, and that some other students may do the same. On goes the astronaut helmet.

Wonder goes an interesting route in that the entire story is not focused on Auggie. The viewer is forced to think about the impact that Auggie's disability has on everyone else. Via, as already mentioned, is Auggie's sister and she's in high school as this plays out. Miranda (Danielle Rose Russell) was her best friend, until she wasn't, and Via does not understand why things are this way. Via meets a boy, Justin (Nadji Jeter), and he inspires Via to sign up for Drama Club. Thing is, Miranda signed up too in an attempt to do something different, and Miranda doesn't have the heart to tell Via what the issue is. As this is going on, Auggie is acclimating better and better to school, eventually making a friend in Jack. At least, that is, until Jack says something when Auggie is dressed in his Halloween costume and unrecognizable. Then, they aren't friends. It's time to go back to wearing the astronaut helmet that he was wearing when he first arrived at school and went out in public. As far as Via's story goes, and how it relates to Auggie's disability, the viewer is presented with the reality of being the ignored child. Auggie's problems are more important than everything else, and this is very difficult ground for a teenage girl.

There are two routes that a film like Wonder could have gone, and both are realistic. You have the route where the other children adjust to Auggie's disability and aren't bothered by it. Then, you have the story where the chidren don't ever adjust to his disability and the child becomes a pariah for the rest of his life. Both those things happen, I think the latter is somewhat more likely to happen, but I don't know what mileage there is in a film about that. So, with that in mind, you have to take Wonder for what it is. Wonder is an anti-bullying story, but again there are two different ways of telling one of those. This is not a perfect film though. The actors playing the parents, famous as they are, actually have little impact on the film as a whole. The structure of the movie is a great strength that makes up for this flaw, the chapters and insight into the background of the other kids allow the story to be fleshed out more than the parents are able to do so. Another flaw, of course, relates to one of the parents. We are never shown or told what Owen Wilson does for a living, he's just Auggie's dad and I guess that's all that matters. Is that accurate and true to the reality of a ten year old boy? Yes, sometimes they don't know.

I did like this movie, and I'm going to give it a 7, but most of what I've posted is praise. I need to explain something though. In fifth grade, bullies are a hell of a lot worse than this. I wasn't a bully, but if someone was bothering me, or trying to pull some shit on me, I know that I sounded a lot worse than this when I was 10 years old. Of course, I'm not everyone though. I also got in a lot of trouble for this. It takes the bully in this film nearly the entire story to get in trouble, without talking a lot of shit. Bullies know how to avoid getting in trouble and the person caught cursing back at someone will get in trouble instead. The film is true to life in this way. Ultimately, take it for what it's worth, the movie is a straight forward story about a disabled kid trying to make it in the world outside of his house. His sister has had her life destroyed by his problems, and no focus placed on her development as a result of this. That the film doesn't neglect that issue, and that part of growing up, is somewhat of an achievement. It's also funny that the film focuses more and more on this as it plays out, this is not a film limited to its disabled subject. As someone who has disabled family members, and someone who lives with them, I was surprised that this story seemed to reach me on that level. I get it, I really do, I know exactly how a person feels in that situation. It is very authentic, actually. A person who doesn't understand that may think Via is being selfish, in which case it is hard for me to accept their review of the film.

7/10

2017 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Dunkirk
2.   Phantom Thread
3.   The Shape of Water
4.   Get Out
5.   Good Time
6.   The Killing of a Sacred Deer
7.   Mudbound
8.   Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
9.   Logan
10.   Baby Driver
11.   The Post
12.   Wonder Woman
13.   The Big Sick
14.   Lady Bird
15.   Wind River
16.   Thor: Ragnarok
17.   Logan Lucky
18.   The Beguiled
19.   The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
20.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi
21.   Brawl in Cell Block 99
22.   John Wick: Chapter 2
23.   The Disaster Artist
24.   The Lost City of Z
25.   First They Killed My Father
26.   A Ghost Story
27.   Last Flag Flying
28.   Hostiles
29.   Darkest Hour
30.   Spider-Man: Homecoming
31.   I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore
32.   Sweet Virginia
33.   It
34.   Battle of the Sexes
35.   Stronger
36.   Brad's Status
37.   Okja
38.   Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer
39.   Kong: Skull Island
40.   It Comes at Night
41.   Crown Heights
42.   Split
43.   1922
44.   Personal Shopper
45.   Landline
46.   Thank You for Your Service
47.   Beatriz at Dinner
48.   Chuck
49.   Atomic Blonde
50.   Shot Caller
51.   Wheelman
52.   Wonder
53.   Brigsby Bear
54.   The Lego Batman Movie
55.   Megan Leavey
56.   Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
57.   Wonderstruck
58.   Only the Brave
59.   Marshall
60.   Menashe
61.   Walking Out
62.   American Made
63.   Annabelle: Creation
64.   Beauty and the Beast
65.   Imperial Dreams
66.   Gifted
67.   Murder on the Orient Express
68.   The Zookeeper's Wife
69.   The Glass Castle
70.   The Foreigner
71.   Free Fire
72.   Win It All
73.   The Wall
74.   Life
75.   My Cousin Rachel
76.   Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
77.   The Ballad of Lefty Brown
78.   The Fate of the Furious
79.   Breathe
80.   The Man Who Invented Christmas
81.   Maudie
82.   Patti Cake$
83.   Sleight
84.   Alone in Berlin
85.   A United Kingdom
86.   Trespass Against Us
87.   The Mountain Between Us
88.   War Machine
89.   Happy Death Day
90.   Lowriders
91.   Justice League
92.   To the Bone
93.   Ghost in the Shell
94.   Wakefield
95.   Bright
96.   The Tribes of Palos Verdes
97.   The Hitman's Bodyguard
98.   Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House
99.   XXX: Return of Xander Cage
100.   The Mummy
101.   The Greatest Showman
102.   Rough Night
103.   King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
104.   Sand Castle
105.   The Circle
106.   American Assassin
107.   CHiPs
108.   Death Note
109.   47 Meters Down
110.   The Belko Experiment
111.   The Great Wall
112.   Fist Fight
113.   Baywatch
114.   Snatched
115.   Suburbicon
116.   Wilson
117.   The Dark Tower
118.   Queen of the Desert
119.   The House
120.   Flatliners
121.   Sleepless
122.   Geostorm
123.   All Eyez on Me
124.   The Snowman
125.   The Book of Henry
126.   The Space Between Us
127.   Daddy's Home 2


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Online Firmino of the 909

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Re: In Which I Review Movies Part II
« Reply #232 on: Today at 06:19:23 PM »
damn it was running a 3 rating, what made you drop it another full point?

When there's a closing fight scene and the filmmaker can't even show you what's actually happening, where you can't even understand how one of the people attacked the other one, and there's a shitload of other inexplicable scenes like that...that'll drop a movie a point at least.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest