Author Topic: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers  (Read 352 times)

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Offline Firmino of the 909

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2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« on: January 08, 2020, 06:07:06 PM »
I will properly split this out once I watch four movies from 2020.



The Grudge (2020), directed by Nicolas Pesce

Luckily for me, if this film was any indication, I have not seen any of the other entries into this franchise. I'm glad I didn't and after watching this movie I really don't want to. Writing a full review about something this boring is rather difficult, as I nearly fell asleep twice and was barely hanging on after a mere 85 minutes. When the movie was over, everyone laughed, and that wasn't the first time during this movie that happened. Not a particularly good sign for a horror movie. This is also barely a horror movie now that I think of it. There are two or three jump scares in here mixed with someone attempting to make a sad and poignant dramatic movie...and none of it works at all. One of the scenes here has the most horrendous choice in music, and that was one of the other times everyone in the theater was laughing. I don't know what to say here, I'm at a loss. I gues sI should explain the movie.

The Grudge attempts to tell its story in a non-chronological way, similar to Westworld although in the case of Westworld, you don't realize that the events are told that way while you're watching them. Or you aren't supposed to. The film starts out with a focus on Fiona Landers (Tara Westwood), who is leaving a house in Tokyo that I can only assume is the house from the original movie. Whatever. She tells someone that she is returning to America, and subsequently she arrives on her home at 44 Reyburn Drive. This is in Pennsylvania. After this, we move forward to a different story focusing on Detective Muldoon (Andrea Riseborough). Muldoon has moved to this town in Pennsylvania with her son after her husband has died from cancer. She was a police officer wherever she came from, and her new partner is Detective Goodman (Demian Bichir). Goodman and Muldoon are called to the woods, where they see a corpse of someone who had written down in their glovebox that they were visiting...44 Reyburn Drive. I can barely bring myself to finish the rest of this, but Goodman says that he thinks the house is cursed. After that, we see how and why the house is cursed, and that's pretty much the entire movie.

I don't know why there are good actors slumming it in this film, but in addition to the two I already mentioned there's also Frankie Faison, Lin Shaye, Jacki Weaver, and John Cho. Look, this movie fucking sucks and it's boring. Boring things are hard to hate enough to work up the gumption to talk about them. The horror in this movie is decent, but it's also few and far between. This movie is so tiresome, the back and forth cuts between plots just don't do it for me at all. I understand that I'm also tired because of stuff that I have to do at home, but I've never been this close to falling asleep in a movie theater. I don't understand what this movie was really trying to accomplish, but I feel like the director was not attempting to get people to laugh at everything. I do think this was all rather easy to understand, but perhaps it was too easy. If I had to pay attention I assume I wouldn't have been so bored, but the film isn't engaging enough. Perhaps the worst thing in the movie was the dead pregnant woman. So, there you have it. This is probably a good way to start off the year and properly readjust my rating scale.

2.5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1. The Grudge


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Sty Guy Kamala

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2020, 02:01:11 AM »
I was baffled when I saw an ad for that. Why the hell would you make a reboot/remake of a non superhero movie (that is another remake btw!) that is less than 20 years old!?!

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2020, 05:45:32 AM »
I was baffled when I saw an ad for that. Why the hell would you make a reboot/remake of a non superhero movie (that is another remake btw!) that is less than 20 years old!?!

The thing that really got me is how this was even released knowing how boring it was. Perhaps they knew it wasn't salvageable from a test screener, I see no way that a screener could ever have ended without the audience laughing at it.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline fazzle

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2020, 07:00:35 AM »
I just saw The Grudge today without seeing your review and wow, I was fucking shocked to see just how incredibly DULL it was.  I was the only person in the theater and was so bored I spent the majority of the second half fucking around on my phone.  Also, the director of this latest one has said he wants to do a crossover movie with The Ring which... WHY?

Although with Like a Boss (and Underwater) coming out tomorrow, I have a feeling this movie won't even hold the title of Worst Movie of 2020 very long.

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2020, 08:41:09 AM »
Also, the director of this latest one has said he wants to do a crossover movie with The Ring which... WHY?



That's not even an original idea. They already did it in Japan and it was called Sadako vs Kayako. It was kind of fun and had the right amount of cheese, but an American version would be boring and self serious.

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2020, 08:56:45 AM »
I was baffled when I saw an ad for that. Why the hell would you make a reboot/remake of a non superhero movie (that is another remake btw!) that is less than 20 years old!?!

The thing that really got me is how this was even released knowing how boring it was. Perhaps they knew it wasn't salvageable from a test screener, I see no way that a screener could ever have ended without the audience laughing at it.

The first or second weekends of the year have been a dumping ground for bad to truly godawful horror films for over a decade now. Escape Room, The Forest, The Bye Bye Man, The Woman In Black 2, Texas Chainsaw 3D, The Devil Inside, The Unborn and on and on.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2020, 04:58:09 PM »


Underwater (2020), directed by William Eubank

How many movies filmed in 2017 are going to be premiered in 2020? I assume the number is not very high at all, but I know of one more. Underwater was filmed early in 2017 at that, so this movie does feature T.J, Miller, who has largely been buried by Hollywood and with good reason. I'm confused as to how this was even made, but 20th Century Fox made a lot of bad movies before they were acquired by Disney. This wasn't even the worst one. The New Mutants was also filmed in 2017, and I don't understand why the release of that has been held for so long too. I guess we'll see in a few months. For now, when it comes to Underwater, I feel like a lot of stuff was left on the cutting room floor. I also feel like this would have been a bad movie if not for an amazing reveal later in the film that popped the whole theater. This wasn't terrible, but Underwater didn't really bring a whole lot to the table either. It isn't boring though and that should be something I mention first thing. For a movie like this to not be boring, that is probably the most important piece of the puzzle. Unfortunately having a good story and stuff went by the wayside somehow. I think this was also supposed to lead to a sequel of some kind which is completely laughable.

We are introduced to the world of Underwater with some newspaper clippings that explain what's going on. A company called Tian Industries has decided to drill to the bottom of the Mariana Trench. You know, for oil...or whatever. Before anything else happens, we are introduced to Norah (Kristen Stewart), who is brushing her teeth and doing a monologue in her head while playing with a spider. All of a sudden, an earthquake hits and a section of the station she's on begins to implode upon itself due to pressure. While running away she encounters Rodrigo (Mamoudou Athie), and with his help they are able to close the bulkhead. In doing so, they kill everyone in that part of the station, but they prevent everyone else from dying. This is an acceptable loss. Along the way, they also rescue Paul (T.J. Miller), while they're on their way to the captain, who is named Lucien (Vincent Cassel). The escape pods on this station are gone, so they must continue to move through the station, where they encounter Emily (Jessica Henwick) and Liam (John Gallagher Jr.). Here's the deal. They need to get in their suits and walk a mile on the ocean floor to another station that has escape pods. Problem is, there's...something out there. They don't know what it is or what to do, but the creature is very aggressive...

As I already said, there is a great reveal near the end of the film and I must reiterate that. The movie is to some extent saved by this. I'm not sure Underwater was worth sitting through to get to that point, and I can get into further detail about that. For starters, all of the action is filmed much too close to the characters, so it can be difficult to decipher what's going on. Also, the director isn't particularly skilled in the sense that I can't tell which characters are dragged away from the pack at any given time. This seems like a huge oversight, and fixing this alone would very much have helped the film. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a horror movie, or science-fiction, or an action movie, or what. The money was in this being a horror movie where T.J. Miller's character stuck around for a long time in order to lighten up the proceedings with jokes. For what it's worth, a lot of people laughed at these jokes. I know that this movie was trying to be like Alien, but this is something from an era gone by as studios no longer try to do this. Fox sure did, and that's part of why they sold the company. I'd have to do some math, but their losses over the last year or so would have been in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Almost every holdover release from before their merger with Disney has bombed.

Anyway, I think there's a lesson to be learned from this movie. It is that sometimes you need to film character closeups when those characters are being carried away by monsters. In addition to that, it seems like the first twenty minutes were removed from this film in an attempt to shorten it and make it more palatable, but this doesn't work either. If nobody filmed those first twenty minutes, this movie was doomed from the start. We are literally dropped right into the action.

5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Underwater
2.   The Grudge


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline RedJed

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2020, 02:07:07 AM »
Ended up actually watching both Underwater and The Grudge remake (actually technically could be considered a subtle sequel) on Saturday.

Underwater....I certainly liked it better than you. I thought it had a lot of interesting facets to it. I wondered if there was a story with the character of Stewart maybe being some sort of hybrid human or something. There was weird instances where there was some serious stuff on that end going on. Maybe a cloned synthesized version or something. Just seemed like she was extraordinarily pulling off feats of incredible things compared to the other characters. I thought this was perhaps a nod to the Alien series in that aspect too. Stewart, of course, had Ellen Ripley written all over her too.

That said, could it have been better? Certainly. You were right on with the muddleness of the characters being attacked. I had no idea who was who in those scenes. Visually though, impressive effects here. This felt like a film maybe originally intended to be 3D as well by the way it was presented. If this was shelved since 2017, it very well may have been.

The Grudge was.....wow......what a mess. The Grudge franchise is very deep, 14 films in all I believe. Most of them Japanese. I did watch the original Ju-On before this (which isn't even the first film, there was two prior to that) and then dived into the American trilogy of Grudge remake films. This was a much more visceral version of the other American ones, but really not much different than especially the shitty Grudge 3 in alot of ways. The lack of telling the story chronologically is a staple of these films too, so I guess that explains why they felt the need to do it again. But my god, this was an unnecessary reimaging/sequel for sure. The ending was just so....there. The content of the film was just so dull, boring, and done before. The performances were tedious and underwhelming. And yes it did make for some laughs here and there.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2020, 05:56:20 PM »


Like a Boss (2020), directed by Miguel Arteta

I can't explain why I decided to see Like a Boss instead of some of the other movies out at this time. I guess I would say that the times of the movies worked out better for me. I can however explain why I chose the picture above, and you can probably already see why. So, there's that. I don't know what to say about a movie like this one other than to point out that there are now very few comedies released in general. I can't tell you the last time I saw a straight out comedy movie in theaters. In going back to look, I see that it has been since I saw the second Zombieland movie back in October. That's a long time! In watching this movie tonight, I learned how the comedy genre has gotten to this point. There is a distinct lack of talent in this space, but more than that, there's an issue with how these movies are written and structured. The constant comedy trope where the two characters have to fall out before redeeming themselves is some shit that I'm really tired of. This is the kind of bad movie that people watch when they're forced to sit on a long flight and there's nothing else to do. What's crazy is that this director has helmed a good drama movie, Beatriz at Dinner. Why is this so bad?

The very few people who gave this movie a positive review and tried to spin this into a movie with some grand message, good for them because I don't know how to do that. Mia (Tiffany Haddish) and Mel (Rose Byrne) are best friends, and they've been best friends for a very long time. This extends to them living with each other in what was Mia's mom's house. At some point in their friendship, they made the decision to start a cosmetics company, which is called Mel & Mia's. Really inventive, right? These two have totally different personalities. Mia is the creative side of the business is and Mel is the accounting side, one has confidence and one does not, you can derive which is which based on what I've just said. At their business, they have two employees, Barrett (Billy Porter) and Sydney (Jennifer Coolidge). There are some issues with the way things are going, and they are largely related to money. Their business is massively in debt and has never recovered. This issue will lead to the loss of their business in six months if they don't do something. They're going to do something.

Eventually, through some notoriety they have achieved with one of their products, they are approached by a cosmetics giant, Claire Luna (Salma Hayek). Claire wants to buy into their company and wipe out their debt, but she has her own ulterior motives. While she tells Mia and Mel that she wants to promote their product and give them a large amount of money for doing so, what Claire really wants is to steal their idea for herself. This sounds like a good idea, right? With her crappy assistant Josh (Karan Soni), they are going to put their own scheme in play and make things happen. The easiest way for them to do this is to split the friendship of Mia and Mel up, once and for all.

I tried my best to fluff things up, but I couldn't do more than that. Like a Boss has one major inherent problem in that the film is so short that something from every single scene is in one of the trailers that has been played hundreds of times before every movie that I've seen in the last six months. This is a major issue, and while the trailers don't completely spoil every gag in the movie, they ruin a lot. The script is also bad and so is the premise. There are a few bright spots, and there aren't many scenes in which those people really get to do good work with the horrible material. Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne are alright, and Billy Porter is good, but that dude is barely even in the movie to begin with. The movie also dives off a cliff in the last half hour or so, and it wasn't too great to begin with. Obviously, that's a problem. I did laugh a bit, but none of this has any real sticking power, and the film greatly lacks in consistency. It isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be though. That's about all I can say about this movie, which hopefully will bomb hard and show that there's no market for shitty comedy anymore. Most of the gags that are the worst gags in the movie are also in the trailer though, so you know what they are and there isn't a whole lot I can say about them.

3.5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Underwater
2.   Like a Boss
3.   The Grudge


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2020, 06:34:17 PM »


Bad Boys for Life (2020), directed by Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah

So, it's 2020. It's 2020 and there's going to be another Candyman movie, another Top Gun, a Ghostbusters sequel, a Bill & Ted flick, a Sopranos prequel movie, Sonic the Hedgehog, another Halloween, and a Coming to America sequel. Whew, that's a lot. These movies soon to debut all have one thing in common, they are reboots of old intellectual property. In most cases this kind of thing has proven to be a failure as people do not want to see old IP dragged out there. Some of the movies I mentioned above inevitably will fail. Hollywood has been producing a lot of sequels that nobody ever asked for. But, what about the ones that people did ask for? Bad Boys for Life is in that category. I have heard a lot of people over the last few years ask for a sequel that wasn't quite as bad as Bad Boys II, that didn't have Michael Bay involved, and that did bring back important pieces from the other two movies. Bad Boys for Life brings all of that. All of the bad shit from the second movie is removed, and it's clear to see why nobody wanted to make a third movie as long as Bay was attached to this project. The guy cannot make a profitable movie anymore and nobody really cares what he has to say about anything. You know what's really crazy? This might be Will Smith's first really good movie since before he last made one of these. Before I continue I should also point out that 2019's first good movie premiered at around the end of February. That is not the case this year.

Man, you know all the characters from this shit, don't you? Bad Boys for Life begins with Marcus (Martin Lawrence) and Mike (Will Smith) speeding with a police escort to be at the birth of what will be Marcus' first grandson. After this scene, we are taken to Mexico. In Mexico, Isabel Aretas (Kate del Castillo) is making her escape from prison. The reason why is something you find out much later, and because the plot holes are so absolutely gigantic we are treated to brilliant comedy (not being sarcastic) that makes us gladly forget about all of that. She is able to escape from prison partly as a plan of her own, but the help of her son Armando (Jacob Scipio) is crucial to actually breaking free. There is a reason for all this, it is because Isabel wants Mike dead for some reason. Again, we find out why later. Armando is tasked with coming to Miami and killing everyone involved with putting his mother in prison for such a long time. Last on the list is supposed to be Mike. Last on the list is not Mike.

Mike and Marcus go to a celebration party with their group, and to this point the only known character in said group is Captain Howard (Joey Pants). While at the party, Marcus starts talking about retiring, which makes Mike mad. They decide to have a running contest in order to measure each other's manhood, and during said running contest Mike is shot by Armando. This is not good. Armando goes on to kill everyone else that his mother told him to while Mike is laid up in the hospital and in a wheelchair. Once he gets out, and around six months later, Mike can walk again. Things have changed though. Marcus, he actually went through with retiring even though he had made a pact saying that he wouldn't. Seeing his friend near death was too much for him. Mike wants help, Marcus is not going to give that help. He just won't. After some cajoling and self-investigating on Mike's part, he eventually works his way into being somewhat on the case of finding out who shot him. He is going to consult with AMMO, a unit with Miami PD who specializes in technical surveillance and/or raids. On this unit we have the leader and Mike's ex-girlfriend, Rita (Paola Nunez), the hotshot Rafe (Charles Melton), very big tech geek Dorn (Alexander Ludwig), and hot, very easy to be undercover Kelly (Vanessa Hudgens). This unit will find out who Armando is and stop him. Or won't they?

There seems to be a shock of sorts that this movie is doing great business at the box office. I understand why people are surprised, but they shouldn't be. Minority audiences are very much undercatered to at the box office, but even more than that, there are hardly any comedy movies that get people's attention anymore. This, by the way, is very much a comedy and it is very funny. Nearly every joke lands, and the ones that don't are easy to ignore because something else comes up very quickly. There are some massive plot holes here, but it seems that the directors are completely aware of this and decided to fill that spot up with Martin Lawrence telling the best jokes of his entire career. This would wear thin if he was not written out of 30-40 minutes of this movie, but it seems that everyone involved with this iteration of Bad Boys had some very good ideas. This isn't a great movie, but it's pretty good and if you enjoyed Bad Boys II for any reason at all, you will like this. The last few minutes of this movie are also completely ludicrous, but it needs to be said that I do not care.

I have to go back to what I said about the audience though. At the end of the year, absolutely nothing debuted in theaters that was rated R, a comedy, and a crowd-pleaser all at the same time. There are maybe five other films I've seen in the last two years that made people this happy. In addition to that, look at what movies came out last year. You know how many action comedies with black actors even made it into a theater? Jumanji is a family movie, but we'll count that. I count Hobbs & Shaw, and Shaft. That is literally it. While I may have said at some point very recently that I don't believe in  racially diversifying awards nominations just to make people happy, when I bother to type things out and think about them, it's easy to see why movies featuring minority actors aren't nominated for awards. It's because there aren't any of them. When those movies are made, they are usually made by directors who don't have the ability to make a good movie out of the material. Directors like those who made this movie have never directed an English language feature. You see, it's easy to figure out what's wrong with Hollywood when you look at a list of movies that premiere on a yearly basis, and go back a few years in the process of doing that. You will see more often than not that certain kinds of people only directed one movie in that timeframe. The surprise in Bad Boys for Life having a high box office total clearly lies in the fact that studio heads don't really give a shit about minorities and that audience doesn't factor into their projections or what leads to them deciding to make a movie. The only reason Bad Boys II didn't make money was because it was grossly overbudget. But at the same time, that movie was something that defined the era in which I went to high school. People talked about that movie...FOR...MONTHS.

Also, the media can talk about progress or really whatever the fuck they want to, but I look at the upcoming list of films and I see the same issue where there aren't movies like this one. I shouldn't be surprised though. After all, this movie was "way too risky" for anyone to try to make for 17 years. Studios need to realize that not everyone in the world is going out to see Star Wars or Joker. One of those is a great movie, but there are people in this country who want to see something more representative of how the world actually looks. Anyway, I really enjoyed this, but I was thinking about that as I went to finish my review and had to get it out. The only other time I laughed like this in a theater over the last 12 months was when I saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. On repeat viewings I find comedies to not be quite as strong, but I don't think that should mean anything when giving a movie a score.

7.5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   Underwater
3.   Like a Boss
4.   The Grudge


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2020, 04:57:43 PM »


Dolittle (2020), directed by Stephen Gaghan

By my standards, this review is going to be very brief. I would like to think when I was a kid that I wouldn't laugh at most of the things in Dolittle, although I know that's probably not true and that I probably would laugh. Grading this movie on a scale for little kids is pretty easy though. This is a bad movie all the way around. There's been some commentary stating that this movie is crass and rude, and it really isn't with the exception of a scene where a dragon is dying because the doctor needs pull some old armor out of the dragon's ass. This is done in the most benign and inoffensive way, with the exception of a fart, the lone fart in the movie. What I'm really not understanding is why a studio would pay $175 million for an inoffensive, largely rated G movie. The lack of offensive moments in the film is a serious problem for adults as you might assume, there has to be something to get people to take their kids to the theater and this movie doesn't have anything like that. What a pitiful display.

Dr. Dolittle (Robert Downey Jr.) was a married man, a doctor who could talk to animals. His wife could as well. The two separated so that his wife Lily could travel in search of a fabled tree, and on that trip his wife died. This is supposed to be a little kids movie and they just drop that shit on people. This event sends Dolittle into a depression, and we continue on to the plot. Dolittle now has locked himself in his house, away from all human beings. He lives with his animals, who are all voiced by A-list actors even though that likely cost a massive amount of money. I could hardly tell who was doing the vast majority of these voices as well. Anyway, a boy named Tommy Stubbins (Harry Collett) is out one day hunting. He doesn't want to kill any animals, but he accidentally shoots a squirrel. Dolittle's house is nearby, and the kid basically breaks in with the help of Lady Rose, a princess. Rose is at his house because Queen Victoria (Jessie Buckley) is in need of Dolittle's help as she is sick. Dolittle eventually comes out of the house, and tasks himself with finding the cure, which is what Lily (his wife) was looking for all those years ago.

At least if this movie was crude I would have something to talk about, but I feel like I was misled by people who made up shit about the film. A Twitter account can be a powerful thing and people have the ability to use it for many different purposes. This movie is straight out boring by the standards of a kids movie, and if I knew that I never would have went to the theater tonight. There are very few worse movies than this one that I can think of. The CGI isn't all that great, and Downey has never given a worse performance in his entire life. It is incredible that someone decided to fund this project, I can hardly believe it. That this movie is rather sad is an extremely huge mistake, nobody should make a depressing kids movie that is this bereft of content. I don't know how that happens.

2.5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   Underwater
3.   Like a Boss
4.   The Grudge
5.   Dolittle


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline cobainwasmurdered

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2020, 05:06:37 PM »
are you telling me he doesn't go down on a squirrel?

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2020, 05:23:42 PM »
are you telling me he doesn't go down on a squirrel?

Lol hell no. He gives it CPR cause some kid accidentally shot it. That tweet had to be viral marketing or some shit.

This is almost a totally innocent kids movie. Except the start is depressing and the movie is fucking boring. Besides all that anyway.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2020, 05:06:44 AM »
I'm glad for this review because I was almost gonna watch this for bad movie reasons.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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Re: Re: 2019-20 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2020, 10:10:41 AM »
I'm glad for this review because I was almost gonna watch this for bad movie reasons.

Same... if I can't trust people I never heard of on Twitter giving Dolittle snippet reviews like I would wax on and on about Charlie St. Cloud then who the hell can I trust damn it? Only this man and this thread, brudda.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #15 on: February 01, 2020, 04:10:25 PM »


The Last Full Measure (2020), directed by Todd Robinson

Before I get started, I need to make mention of something that usually tells me when a film isn't good. The Last Full Measure was filmed in the middle of 2017. That was a long time ago, right? That was the first year of Trump's administration and hopefully this is the last one. In the case of The Last Full Measure, I see exactly why this movie took so long to be released. It's not just that the film isn't good, it's that this is totally unmarketable and something best portrayed in a documentary. I do not know how this film even received financing, especially considering its cast. Now, I shouldn't say too many bad things about the movie. It's just that everything here is better told in a different format, but the way its done here feels like something that would have been better released on the History Channel than in a theater. I will say at least that this film was powerful enough to some, but I thought everything here was presented in a heavy-handed and emotionally manipulative way. That being said, I don't have any servicemen in my family or anything of the sort. So, take that for what it's worth.

The Last Full Measure is the story of William H. Pitsenbarger (Jeremy Irvine), an Air Force Pararescueman who saved over sixty lives through heroic acts during the Vietnam War. Pitsenbarger did not survive, but his memory lived on in the hearts of those who served with him and saw what he did. Scott Huffman (Sebastian Stan) is a career-minded, me-first staffer working at the Pentagon in 1999. Advancement in the bureaucracy of Washington is his way forward in life. He has a son and wife, and maybe he works a little too much, but there isn't much insight on that end. One day, he is approached by Pitsenbarger's best friend, Tully (William Hurt). Tully had scheduled a meeting regarding Pitsenbarger's inability to receive a posthumous Medal of Honor. He was rejected for whatever reason, and given the Air Force Cross instead. This meeting with Tully sparks a review, which Scott believes is going to be perfunctory and not mean much of anything at all. See the cliches here? Scott is subsequently tasked with tracking down everyone who has testimony to give about what Pitsenbarger did, and it will be decided what to do about the Medal of Honor after this review.

Over the course of the rest of the movie, when these testimonies are given, we are taken back to Vietnam so that we can see what happened. The testimonies themselves are given by people who are for the most part quite traumatized. Ray Mott (Ed Harris) returned home from Vietnam and became a school bus driver. He is one of the only soldiers featured in this movie who came back without those problems. Jimmy Burr (Peter Fonda) was not so lucky. He was severely traumatized and now cannot sleep at night. Some of this stuff was like a caricature, but I have more to say about that later. Takoda (Samuel L. Jackson) blames himself for everything that happened on that day. This is the kind of movie that this is.

To say this is the kind of movie that The Last Full Measure is, is kind of an understatement. The first thirty minutes of this film felt so long, and I kept closing my eyes, but fortunately I didn't fall asleep and start snoring and ruin everyone's night. This is a movie for boomers who think it's still 1983. I don't know how else to put it and I know that this is probably an insensitive way to talk about a movie featuring the story of a Medal of Honor winner. The problem is that everything in the film is melodramatic, boomer loving type trash and I just can't handle that kind of stuff anymore. For a cast like this to put in such shitty acting performances is rather mindblowing and unexpected. I don't know what else I can bring to this review other than what I've already said, but this isn't worth your time. I was bored. Pitsenbarger's story is worth telling, but definitely not in a movie about people trying to get him his Medal of Honor. That kind of stuff is best placed in a documentary. The Vietnam scenes would be better placed in a movie that solely featured Vietnam.

4.5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   Underwater
3.   The Last Full Measure
4.   Like a Boss
5.   The Grudge
6.   Dolittle


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline fazzle

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2020, 01:32:56 AM »
Oh wow, that movie finally came out?   I remember it was scheduled for release a few times in 2019 and kept getting delayed

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2020, 05:24:00 PM »


The Rhythm Section (2020), directed by Reed Morano

The Rhythm Section hits the double on things I like to bring up when it comes to movies released early in the year. This film began production at the end of 2017, that isn't a good sign! The Rhythm Section has also already bombed. I believe this is now the worst opening wide release of all time. It's not like today was any better. It's a strange feeling going to a theater with over 200 seats and there are only six people there. In this case it's easy to understand why this film has failed. The budget was kind of too high for what this was, it was not a spy movie that could ever have turned a profit. For what it's worth, I think the studio knew that. Before Blake Lively got hurt, this was pegged for a November release date. So, someone thought this would be good and possibly worth an awards nomination. At least until it wasn't. The reason this movie wouldn't have turned a profit is because this is barely a spy movie. It's a story about a broken person who really wants to kill someone even though they're completely unqualified to do so. The movie is extremely slow building and we are treated to a lot of shots where the person is clearly in grief and doesn't know what they're doing. This kind of thing works in a movie gunning for awards. It does not work in a movie that isn't really good, and is frankly too difficult to understand. I will say that critics have shit on this film a little too much though.

Stephanie Patrick (Blake Lively) is a young woman from London, and being young should be fun. In her case it is not. She has become a prostitute and drug addict during her grief, a grief I can't understand because it has never happened to me. Her entire family was on a plane that crashed, killing all of them. Stephanie was supposed to be on that flight with them, but she did not go. One day, while working at a brothel, she is approached by a journalist who wishes to speak to her. For whatever reason, she tells security and they send the guy out, busting his face up. A few days later, she decides that she wants to talk to the journalist after all and runs off so that she can call him. The journalist is Keith Proctor (Raza Jaffrey), and he has a flat in London where they can talk. This movie, cliched as it is, has Stephanie faint and come to sometime later. At Keith's flat, we see that he has a lot of evidence and has been working on what some would call a conspiracy theory, the idea that someone bombed the plane Stephanie's family died on. It's obviously true, and there's a cover-up that's easily explained.

When Keith tells Stephanie who bombed the plane, obviously she wants to know and is going to attempt to track him down. It's not like Keith can keep her prisoner. She goes to encounter the man, who is named Reza, but she finds herself unable to pull the trigger on the gun she's purchased from her drug dealer. After that, she discovers that her bag has been stolen, and whoever stole it has gone to Keith's apartment. Now Keith is dead. She had already figured out where his source in the intelligence community was, now she has to go up to Scotland. Once she does, she finds B. (Jude Law), a former MI6 agent who is naturally quite concerned that someone's snooping around his cabin. So, he throws her into a room and takes away her junk. She'll have to get clean. Of course, B. just needs a little while to find out who Stephanie is, and initially he wants to just make her go away. Instead, Stephanie is able to convince him that she has nothing to lose, and that she'd be the best person to go out there and kill Reza. B. begins to train her, but the thing is, Reza isn't who she needs to be going after. Reza was hired by a terrorist who was given the designation of U-17, the name being because nobody knows who he or she even is. The terrorist bombed the plane to kill a liberal Muslim reformist, and everyone else on the plane was unimportant. Will Stephanie still go through training?

I said a while ago that there isn't much of a market for female oriented spy movies, and while I think that's something that shouldn't be the case I also think it's true. Anna was one from last year that didn't make anything, neither did Charlie's Angels. I can't tell you why they don't make money, I just think they don't based on what's happened in the last year. Now, this one, I already said why it didn't make money, but I didn't think it was all that bad. I was at least interested in seeing where the story would go after the very slow beginning to the film, and while cliched I didn't have much of a problem with the beginning of the film either. My issue with The Rhythm Section is the conclusion of the film and how confusing things become. Those things also seemed to me to not make much sense. The movie isn't too keen on these kinds of details, to the point where a really strong lead performance by Lively is completely wasted. I don't think the movie is really bad, but it's not good either. I wasn't entertained that much, but the journey of the lead character shines through to some extent. The stuff where Lively's character fumbles her way through assassination missions is very difficult to explain. When there's no way that any of this stuff could actually happen, the events should be much more fun than this. That this movie is so serious works as a detriment, but Lively's performance here is really good. I don't know how to rate this movie, but I'll take far too serious over far too boring any day.

5/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   Underwater
3.   The Rhythm Section
4.   The Last Full Measure
5.   Like a Boss
6.   The Grudge
7.   Dolittle


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #18 on: February 06, 2020, 05:34:49 PM »


The Gentlemen (2020), directed by Guy Ritchie

All that seemed to matter when it came to this movie and the details surrounding it, was that Guy Ritchie was going to make a movie that was like the other movies he used to make. I was sold based on that. I've been busy enough to avoid any other details, but I know what I want from a movie like this one. For the most part I got it, and I'm pretty satisfied with that. I think there are some aspects of the film where Ritchie goes too far up his ass, the ending being one of those aspects, but we all probably knew that would happen if we cared enough to know. A movie like The Gentlemen just has to hit certain notes. It cannot be afraid to go too far, to attempt to be completely sanitized and make everyone happy. It is a movie that just has to be this way. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it isn't. The picture I posted describes exactly what kind of movie this is, I think. There's only one place where people dress like that, a certain kind of people in fact. I think there's now such a lack of movies about crime that these sorts are much more welcome than they used to be. Everyone used to try to make these kinds of movies, and there were way too many of them, and now there aren't enough. Does that make sense?

I'll do my best to describe The Gentlemen in my usual two paragraph form, but that may prove very difficult. Big Dave (Eddie Marsan) is the editor of a paper, snubbed by Mickey Pearson (Matthew McConaughey) at a party. Dave wants to know why he's been snubbed and treated like garbage by a criminal, so he hires a private investigator named Fletcher (Hugh Grant). Fletcher has made some discoveries about Mickey, but he has ulterior motives. His intention is to sell those findings to a man attached to Mickey in some way, Raymond (Charlie Hunnam). Look, this sounds way more complicated than it actually is, but it is essential to pay attention to the first twenty minutes of this film. If you don't, you'll be totally lost. The price on this story, which has been typed up in a screenplay, is the grand total of £20 million. That's a lot. The movie subsequently goes back and forth with Fletcher revealing what he's learned, and the viewer being taken both to how those events actually happened, or shown the perspective of what would have happened if Fletcher was actually correct.

How is Mickey a criminal though? I buried the lede on that one and for that matter so does the film for a brief moment. Mickey was born in the US, of course. He was poor until he wasn't, he won a Rhodes Scholarship to Oxford, which he used to sell marijuana to the other students. After that, he decided to drop out and build a cannabis empire, which has been very successful. In the process of that, he has had to kill a lot of people. Mickey decides that it's time to call it quits, and he wants to sell his business to an American billionaire, Matthew Berger (Jeremy Strong). Berger is in need of convincing on the sale price, and not to reveal too much, but Mickey is able to convince him. As a result, once the deal is done, Mickey can retire with his wife Rosalind (Michelle Dockery) and leave this life behind. Over the process of this movie, you see how Mickey runs his business and how this might all work. You also learn how Raymond is tied into things. There are some other factors though. There's a man called Coach (Colin Farrell) who seems to hold a lot of sway over what we would describe as hoodlums. They are very willing and able. Dry Eye (Henry Golding) is a heroin dealer and thief who works as a capo for Lord George (Tom Wu), a gangster from Hong Kong. Lastly, how was Fletcher able to find out all these things without getting caught?

The first takeaway I had from this film because he made me laugh so much, was that I've never seen Hugh Grant act like this. It's different, it's very amusing. I really liked this aspect of the film. The Gentlemen isn't as good as Ritchie's best British crime stories, but it slots somewhere in the middle. The ending of this movie was so ridiculous that it made me laugh plenty, but I think you can see the obvious problem in the movie's conclusion being that ridiculous. I would say that mileage may vary on this one. If you're tired of Ritchie's style, sick of these kinds of movies, then you'll probably hate this straight away. If you think its been long enough since the last one of these kinds of movies, then you'll probably like it. It's really as simple as that. It isn't wrong to like or dislike genre fare such as this, but you should know what the film is beforehand. There are hints at a sequel, but this is more meta than anything else. The screenplay is a good hint at that. I will also say that this movie is probably exactly what you think it is. It's a movie for guys, with a cast full of guys, set in London, and it's about crime. You can figure out the rest for yourself, sometimes these movies work and sometimes they don't. This was what I was hoping for though.

7/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   The Gentlemen
3.   Underwater
4.   The Rhythm Section
5.   The Last Full Measure
6.   Like a Boss
7.   The Grudge
8.   Dolittle


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2020, 12:33:01 PM »


Birds of Prey (2020), directed by Cathy Yan

What everyone on the internet seems to be talking about in the aftermath of the release of Birds of Prey is that this isn't doing what people thought it would do at the box office. To that I say, why is anyone surprised? This movie looked far too much like a sequel to Suicide Squad, which in many ways it was. People hated Suicide Squad for a lot of valid reasons. I'm still bummed out though. This movie is better than that, deserves better, but it isn't going to get better. Such is life. I do find it to be very amusing how this isn't really a Birds of Prey movie. There's good reason for that as such a movie would have drawn even less than this one. There has to be questions asked of why Marvel/Disney is able to push their obscure characters in a manner that WB is not. I think this is largely related to marketing or a lack thereof. I saw very little marketing both for this film and for Shazam!, which similarly disappointed. Those aren't the only movies in the last year or so that WB has poorly released. Their marketing department is just not doing a good job. Or, you could say that they're releasing movies nobody wants. I don't agree with that though.

The gist of this movie is as such. After the events of Suicide Squad, the Joker and Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) broke up. She's on her own in Gotham City these days, but everyone doesn't know that she's no longer tied to the Joker. As such, she receives a level of immunity that nobody else does. Nobody will mess with her, but with that comes a personal cost. The way this film tells it, people talk a lot of shit about her and what she'll do, but she really wants to be independent. I'll spare a lot of the details here, but she decides that in order to prove her independence, she needs to blow up the Ace Chemicals factory. Once she does, this has a side effect that she didn't see coming. Everyone that wouldn't kill her because they didn't want to deal with the Joker wants to kill her now. That's not the only thing, the cops want to deal with her now too. While out in the morning getting breakfast, she encounters GCPD Detective Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez). Montoya obviously wants Harley to come with her.

The encounter does not go Montoya's way. Harley is able to get free during a chase with the help of someone wielding a crossbow (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), but she is summarily captured and taken away. This film plays really loose with how it tells its narrative, so I have to bring things back to the nightclub. There's a nightclub that Harley frequents, it is owned by Roman Sionis (Ewan McGregor). If you know anything about Batman, you know that Sionis is Black Mask. They've played around with origin stories a little bit, though. Victor Zsasz (Chris Messina) is Black Mask's right hand man in this movie, but he's still as psychotic as he is in the source material. They both like killing people, let's put it that way. Anyway, he has it out for Harley because of stuff that she's done, but he couldn't do anything. Until now. On the night of the factory explosion, Harley broke the legs of his driver, who has subsequently been replaced by the nightclub's singer, Dinah Lance (Jurnee Smolett-Bell). After that, Roman decides to send Dinah and Victor after a diamond embedded with bank account numbers to a great fortune. The thing is, when they get the diamond, it is pickpocketed by Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco), who has a bounty put on her head by Sionis. I promise you that the movie is nowhere near as hard to follow as I just made it sound, so I'll stop.

Birds of Prey is in fact too easy to follow, because there's an extremely long flashback that ties things all together. Unfortunately, this also comes at a time when I really wanted to know why Harley Quinn was in a police station with a beanbag shotgun. That's my only complaint as it relates to the film, but it is a very large one with merit. As for everything else, I thought the characterizations were spot on. I couldn't understand why this was rated R, as the only rated R things here were bad language and some blood. I'm sure that will be looked at and examined by WB in the aftermath of this box office. This isn't a perfect movie or anything, but it is fun and Margot Robbie makes a perfect Harley Quinn. If you don't like this, I suppose that's alright, but I found the movie to be funny and feature good action. These kinds of movies have to bring something to the table in order to differentiate themselves. This one does look too much like Suicide Squad, but it isn't that kind of movie. The filmmakers have the restraint to know not to do certain things, as such we are only treated to a few origin stories. Some of them are extremely short.

It's clear that I liked this movie, and it had a good ending so I left feeling satisfied. I don't know how these characters can really continue on from there though. The movie isn't going to make enough money. I also think that the people who put together the trailer made a big mistake, as they did so featuring a lot of the scenes from the film entirely out of context. It is clear that this did not make people want to watch the film.

7/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   The Gentlemen
3.   Birds of Prey
4.   Underwater
5.   The Rhythm Section
6.   The Last Full Measure
7.   Like a Boss
8.   The Grudge
9.   Dolittle


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #20 on: February 16, 2020, 02:38:53 PM »


Fantasy Island (2020), directed by Jeff Wadlow

I was going to see Fantasy Island no matter what, but I should have done some research. I did not know this man directed a Kevin James classic, True Memoirs of an International Assassin. Upon learning that, I was pretty surprised. My first thought just now was that a studio that wasn't Netflix should have given this guy basically no latitude to make a movie. Instead it turns out that Sony didn't care, and we get what can best be described as an insane trashpile. I don't know how a movie like this could even get made, but I see that the budget was very small. At that price point, maybe you'd try anything too. There were many times during this movie where I started laughing at the horror provided within. This is never a good sign. What's worse is that other people were joining me in my laughter and there came a point where I was able to stop covering my mouth. That's bad. I do not remember any other time before where I was able to stop trying to ruin other people's enjoyment of a movie because they also thought it was terrible. I'll say one thing though, at least I wasn't bored to sleep. Though it isn't the fault of the actors that this is a horrible movie, to say all of them did a good job with the material they were given would be a lie.

Fantasy Island is about an island, of course. If you don't know anything about the old TV show, you really don't need to. The film starts with a woman (Portia Doubleday) having been abducted and brought to the island. She calls for help only to find that a man who knows her name has answered, and he tells her that she's going to be staying on the island. Summarily she is taken away by some goons. The next day, or some other day, five people arrive on Fantasy Island via plane. I find the descriptions on Wikipedia to be highly amusing, but let's not go there. We have Gwen (Maggie Q), Patrick (Austin Stowell), Melanie (Lucy Hale), and two step brothers named JD (Ryan Hansen) and Brax (Jimmy O. Yang). I don't even remember how those guys became step brothers or what their story was. They have arrived on the island because they've won a contest, and their fantasies will come true on this day. They meet the island's keeper, and of course he's Mr. Roarke (Michael Pena). This is one of the points where he started doing a bad accent and I had to try hard not to laugh.

At this meeting, Roarke tells all the guests that they must see their fantasies to their conclusions. Nobody thinks anything nefarious of this, and they all agree. Over the course of the next night and day, every guest is ferried off to their fantasy. I will list them as best as I can without going into detail. JD and Brax wanted to have it all, whatever that could mean. JD wants all the women he can have and Brax wants all the men he can have. Roarke sends them off to a big party. Good for them. Gwen has a major regret in her past, a marriage proposal she did not accept. She would like to remedy that. Patrick wishes that he'd become a soldier instead of a police officer. Being a cop did not stick, but for whatever reason he's never enlisted. He also wears dog tags and says it's because he wants to immerse himself in his fantasy. Lastly and probably most importantly is Melanie. Melanie intends to get revenge on a childhood bully. It turns out the bully was the woman from earlier, she is named Sloane. I thought these were supposed to be fantasies that didn't contain real people though?

The ending, considering that one of the guests has a different fantasy than the one I listed, is absolutely ludicrous on all levels. This feels like a really trashy television show, but someone decided to make this into a film. It's not like I can explain why because that doesn't make any sense. What I do know is that this film is putrid. There are twists and turns, all of which don't make any sense. The most galling aspect of the movie is that it's intended to be a horror movie when all of this stuff plays as comedy instead. I don't know what the target audience was for this, but I did see a lot of older people who probably watched Fantasy Island at some point. I can say that a lot of things were the worst thing about this, but only one of them really reigns supreme. It's the amount of time this movie takes. This runs nearly two hours, and when you factor in previews, that's a really long time to be sitting there watching a piece of trash like this. The story is terrible but there's some really bad acting too. The guy who plays Patrick is borderline unwatchable and unbelievable. The blatant sequel trap at the end is something too. I don't even know what to say, but rest assured I either laughed or felt like laughing a lot. When homeboy dived on the grenade I lost it. HOW DOES THIS EVEN EXIST?

2/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   The Gentlemen
3.   Birds of Prey
4.   Underwater
5.   The Rhythm Section
6.   The Last Full Measure
7.   Like a Boss
8.   The Grudge
9.   Dolittle
10.   Fantasy Island


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Baby Shoes

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2020, 11:37:54 AM »
I usually wait to read a lot of your reviews until I get a chance to see them.  I had wondered what the audience err Fantasy Island was myself.  The other day I accidentally came into spoilers where everything just sounded so bad, I became curious to the point I wondered if I needed to see it.  See you have a review listed, I had to read.  Did not disappoint.
[img width=800

Quote
Fan: WHY CAN REY BEAT BIG GUYS BUT NOT KIDMAN
Kevin Nash: Kidman wears a wife beater

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2020, 01:06:04 PM »
I usually wait to read a lot of your reviews until I get a chance to see them.  I had wondered what the audience err Fantasy Island was myself.  The other day I accidentally came into spoilers where everything just sounded so bad, I became curious to the point I wondered if I needed to see it.  See you have a review listed, I had to read.  Did not disappoint.

My review also does not do the badness justice. This is definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline fazzle

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #23 on: February 19, 2020, 12:04:25 AM »
I'm not going to defend this movie, because there's no question it's fucking TERRIBLE, but I've still got it above Like a Boss, The Grudge and The Turning in my personal rankings for this year, because at least I'm getting some enjoyment out of mocking it's badness rather than just being bored out of my mind like those three.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #24 on: February 19, 2020, 06:29:41 PM »


Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), directed by Jeff Fowler

The elephant in the room when it came to this movie was obviously what I posted in the picture above. I will never forget how mad people got over something so simple as the animation of this one character. Of course, the studio was wrong to animate the character improperly in the first place. It is still interesting that this movie has been so successful. My assumption was that the people who whined wouldn't even show up to see the film. I was wrong. It turns out that a lot of people have gone to see this. Will it be enough for a sequel? Only time will tell. The changes to this movie cost a lot of money and pushed the budget into what I'd consider to have been insane territory. What we have here is a very large budget kids movie with enough nostalgia for those that played the Sonic games on SEGA. That this is going to gross much more money than Birds of Prey is rather remarkable and unexpected. I was unfortunate enough to go to a showing where there were hardly any people, so I can't say how other people reacted to the movie. I liked it enough though.

Everyone knows the basic story of Sonic (voiced by Ben Schwartz) and what Sonic is, right? This movie puts another spin on things. Sonic grew up on a planet similar to those that were always in the first level of his games. Eventually he runs into some trouble and other creatures on his planet attempt to abduct him because of the powers that he has. He is given a bag of rings by his guardian, and it turns out that these rings open portals to other planets. Sonic is shot through one of those portals, and from there we move forward about ten years. After traversing many planets, Sonic eventually comes to Earth and specifically to Montana. He comes to know some of the locals from afar, but only one of them even knows that he exists. Sonic's favorite locals are a local police officer, Tom (James Marsden), and his wife Maddie (Tika Sumpter). Tom and Maddie are going to make a change, unbeknownst to Sonic. Tom got a job with the San Francisco Police Department and is wrapping things up so that he can move there.

I think you may figure out the reasons that Sonic has hid himself, but he's lonely and doesn't have any real friends. This is obviously a problem. One night, he plays baseball with himself and this only serves to make him angry. He runs around the field to the point where an EMP goes off that knocks out power across the entire Pacific Northwest. This leads to the Department of Defense deciding to unleash their greatest asset, and you've guessed it, it's Dr. Robotnik (Jim Carrey). Robotnik is rather persistent in finding Sonic, but I think it's obvious where Sonic will turn in a time of great need.

Alright, so, movies like these are the easiest to review because they're supposed to be franchise starters. You know exactly what the formula of a franchise starter is. I was surprised that was the intention of the film but I shouldn't have been surprised. I do also think that this can be a franchise as long as they limit costs and keep Jim Carrey in these movies. Jim has barely been in anything over the last decade or so. People want him to be in more things worth watching. The few people that were in my theater were laughing at him constantly. He is also the only thing that puts this movie above an average line mark. Also, I should note that I'm very biased towards the idea of a Sonic movie in general. This was something that I also wanted, but I didn't care much about the way the character was animated. That was relevant and at the same time it wasn't. I don't think people should be overly effusive in praise though. This movie hit the minimum from a standards standpoint, but they had Jim Carrey in it and he was doing his thing. That is one of the only reasons anyone is giving this a positive score.

6/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   The Gentlemen
3.   Birds of Prey
4.   Sonic the Hedgehog
5.   Underwater
6.   The Rhythm Section
7.   The Last Full Measure
8.   Like a Boss
9.   The Grudge
10.   Dolittle
11.   Fantasy Island


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline fazzle

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #25 on: February 20, 2020, 01:29:00 AM »
The changes to this movie cost a lot of money and pushed the budget into what I'd consider to have been insane territory.

I can't find it right now, but I'm pretty sure I read that the character model changes only added an extra $5 million to the budget.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #26 on: February 23, 2020, 03:37:04 PM »
The changes to this movie cost a lot of money and pushed the budget into what I'd consider to have been insane territory.

I can't find it right now, but I'm pretty sure I read that the character model changes only added an extra $5 million to the budget.

Based on what my BIL said, considering he's uhhhhhhh in that industry I guess I'll say, I have a hard time believing that's true unless the company doing the effects violated their agreement in some kind of way.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Firmino of the 909

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #27 on: February 23, 2020, 03:37:31 PM »


The Call of the Wild (2020), directed by Chris Sanders

When The Call of the Wild was in production, it sounded like this movie might be really cool and different than most of what gets made. After seeing the film, it turns out that this movie is merely different than most of what gets released while in many ways remaining all the same. What I found when watching this film was that the first half had much better content than the second half. Thing is, this is based on a book and those kinds of things cannot be changed. Perhaps a lot of people feel differently than I did. See, to me, this is a better film when it's about a dog working on the Yukon Trail delivering mail with a jovial French-Canadian and his wife. The second half is the whole point of the enterprise but to me, it just isn't as good. I haven't read the book before but I'm getting the feeling that this is much better in book form than it is as a film. As a film, what we have here is an above average effort with some of the weirdest CGI that I think I've ever seen. It's 2020, and we know there's going to be a lot of CGI in a movie, but the engineering of all this is extremely strange and it is too obviously shot in a studio. There is no way that anything here was shot on location anywhere in the world.

The Call of the Wild is set during the Yukon Gold rush, but first we have to be introduced to our lead character. Buck is an enormous St. Bernard who lives in Santa Clara, on a big property owned by the town's judge. The dog is absolutely crazy and rambunctious. One night, he is punished for that and made to sleep outside. That doesn't turn out so well. Buck is kidnapped and shipped all the way to the Yukon as there's a need for dogs up there and they sold for a decent amount of money back then. On the way, Buck is treated terribly, but inevitably the ship arrives and he's set somewhat free. Upon arrival and prior to his sale, he returns a harmonica to a random man, John Thornton (Harrison Ford). He is then purchased by a man named Perrault (Omar Sy) and his assistant and/or wife Francoise (Cara Gee). Buck becomes a sled dog tasked with being part of a team taking the two of them around northwestern Canada, and on that trip the two humans deliver mail. One of the dogs, however, is not so nice. This dog does not like Buck taking more and more of a leadership role in the pack, and there are going to be problems.

I had to cut it off there because this is a very short movie and it would be very easy to summarize more than half this movie. The second half of the movie largely centers around everything that happens after the sled team, with Buck feeling more and more like wanting to leave people behind and become wild. So, basically the title of this movie. The CGI is such that I can't really figure out what is and isn't CGI at times, but I do know that none of the backgrounds were real and that this was not filmed outdoors in Alaska or anywhere like it. That's not such a great thing, obviously. The CGI dog is great though. It isn't terribly realistic, but I liked it a lot. This movie also doesn't have as much action as I thought it would have considering the budget, this movie is more introspective and thoughtful than I thought it would be. This is not a bad thing, of course.

The thing about the CGI is that even with the unrealism of it, the crew has to work around that and present a good looking film. I think that's what happened, although I can't understand why they didn't film anything on location. Ultimately this is also a family/kids movie. This movie won't make back its budget, but it had a pretty good first weekend in large part because the market for live-action kids movies is very much under-served. Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but I can't recall more than three or four not featuring Disney characters in the last two years. When I was a kid, Homeward Bound was probably my favorite movie. That was a better movie than this one, but the same basis of the film remains. Kids really love movies about animals. While The Call of the Wild doesn't feature talking animals, I don't think that hurts the film in any way. The Call of the Wild has some of the heart that film had 27 years ago. Also, wow. 27 years ago. That's pretty crazy. Also, in case you're curious, the movie is far more about the dog than any of the human characters.

6/10

2020 Films Ranked


Spoiler: show

1.   Bad Boys for Life
2.   The Gentlemen
3.   Birds of Prey
4.   Sonic the Hedgehog
5.   The Call of the Wild
6.   Underwater
7.   The Rhythm Section
8.   The Last Full Measure
9.   Like a Boss
10.   The Grudge
11.   Dolittle
12.   Fantasy Island


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline fazzle

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Re: 2020 Movies Review Thread: There Will Be Spoilers
« Reply #28 on: February 23, 2020, 03:40:55 PM »
The changes to this movie cost a lot of money and pushed the budget into what I'd consider to have been insane territory.

I can't find it right now, but I'm pretty sure I read that the character model changes only added an extra $5 million to the budget.

Based on what my BIL said, considering he's uhhhhhhh in that industry I guess I'll say, I have a hard time believing that's true unless the company doing the effects violated their agreement in some kind of way.

From what I read it said that the majority of the effects in the movie weren't done yet by time that first trailer came out, so while there were still a lot of additional costs to come, most of them would have been in the budget either way and that it was an extra $5m to change what had already been done.