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Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« on: October 07, 2009, 08:40:55 AM »


Quote
Unspeakable evil has fallen on a quiet river town. Sheriff Logan is thrust into a chilling nightmare of death and mayhem that paralyzes the town. He then learns of the community's seedy past and the evil that has risen from purgatory to exact revenge on the town. He is confronted by the spirits of old river squatters, "The Jacobs Boys," who possess the very essence of evil.

Gold medal-winning Olympic wrestler turned professional wrestler Kurt Angle portrayed a psycho sexual serial killer in Koehler's End Game. This time Angle makes a face turn playing the heroic sheriff out to stop a bloody trail of vengeance from being left behind by three hulking brothers killed by a lynch mob thirty years earlier.

Fellow pro wrestlers Kevin Nash (who has also appeared in The Punisher and The Longest Yard) and Psycho Sid Vicious, along with Bill Laing, the actor portraying the Mothman in The Mothman Prophecies, oppose Angle as the hulking Jacoby Boys.

Bill Hinzman, best known as the very first zombie to appear in the opening minutes of the original Night of the Living Dead, is Harvey Hix, a reclusive vigilante who knows an awful lot about the town's seedy history.

Other recognizable faces appearing include another pro wrestler, Ray Lloyd (known to WCW fans as the Mortal Kombat-inspired grappler "Glacier"), Allan Rowe Kelly of Don't Look in the Basement, and My Bloody Valentine 3D's Sam Nicotero.

I, for one, salute Kurt for finally finding a life for himself outside of pro wrestling and becoming the Z movie king.

Offline Jingus

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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2009, 08:46:37 AM »
I'd way rather watch this than just about any of the stuff the WWE is putting out.  Seriously, locked in a room and given the choice of this, Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia and The Marine 2, you telling me that "Sycho Sid and Diesel as undead hellbeasts" wouldn't be the one you pick? 

Offline Venkman

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« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2009, 08:54:14 AM »
I didn't know what to say to Angle at the BCW Meet and Greet session that wouldn't be a lie, but "I can't to see you vs. Zombie Sid and Nash in River of Darkness" seems to be an honest thing I can say.

Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2009, 08:56:16 AM »
I want to see The Marine 2 because I have a feeling every scene is going to be Ted jumping away from an explosion.

Offline The Buzz

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« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2009, 09:03:21 AM »
While I like a lot of wrestler movies...mainly in the..they are so bad they entertain me for the simpleness type of way. But here are a few of my favorites.







Offline Detective Ventriloquist

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« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2009, 10:05:21 AM »
THEY LIVE is fucking great. It's such an awesome horror/sci-fi film. I'd watch it in a marathon with ALIEN NATION and ENEMY MINE.
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« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2009, 10:19:15 AM »
I just bought my buddy a Mr.Nanny/Suburban Commando 2 movies on one DVD dealie for his birthday. I was unaware of its existence but I bought the latter on DVD the week it came out back in '01/'02. Still watch it once or twice a year.

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Offline Two-Time Hall of Famer

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« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2009, 10:45:51 AM »
Hogan's wife in the Thunder in Paradise pilot was such a babe.  I was looking forward to seeing more of her.  Then second episode and it's like, "Spencer's wife was a great girl.  How'd she die?" and I was all LOLWHAT?

In typical boneheaded fashion, the pre-UPN WWOR channel 9 aired TiP head-to-head with Raw.  That was some bullshit.

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« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2009, 11:15:46 AM »
I've actually never seen Shutterspeed but have always wanted to. I think it only aired once and that was following a Nitro in 2000. I remember back in 8th grade, my buddy who was a huge Sting mark told me he loved it but I missed out.

Offline THE TUGSTER

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« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2009, 11:19:44 AM »
The Nostalgia Critic recently did a review on Suburban Commando.
@alfdogg765 on Twitter FOLLOW ME


Offline Venkman

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« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2009, 11:22:01 AM »
Yeah, I actually thought the birth of this thread was from me mentioning that over in Rasslin.

Offline The Buzz

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« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2009, 11:24:17 AM »
Yeah Shutterspeed was apparently a pilot for a tv show, so it's been impossible for me to find a copy of it, or even a download for it. I saw a small part of it when it came out, but had to miss the rest and never saw the one replay they did. I have managed to see a vhs copy of it at a friends house, and enjoyed it. If I didn't hate VHS, I'd just ask him for a copy.

Mr. Nanny is another classic Hogan movie. Of course No Holds Barred is a good movie to watch if you want unintentional comedy.

Offline Tigger

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« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2009, 11:24:48 AM »
The whole board doesn't revolve around you.

Offline The Buzz

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« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2009, 11:26:21 AM »

Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2009, 11:46:53 AM »
I think WWE Films is slowly getting better. At least with their theatrical releases. See No Evil and The Marine were terrible. The Condemned was much better, and 12 Rounds was a perfectly adequate action movie (even if it did seem like something from the 1990s.)

Continually putting John Cena in their movies is a mistake, though. For whatever reason, his charisma doesn't translate onto a movie screen and he comes off as incredibly generic and bland. Austin's a better actor because you can kind of see glimpses of his wrestling charisma when he acts.

Stacy Keibler's another example: she was really something special in wrestling and always stood out, but her acting career never went anywhere because she's just another generic hot chick (she's not a terrible actress, but she's not great either).

Offline mellow

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« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2009, 11:50:38 AM »


This movie is fucking funny and in an intentionally hilarious way too. Total B-horror comedy with a great sense of humor about itself. I actually own this.

And They Live was a legit awesome movie last time I remembered seeing it.

Offline CuckBright7831

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« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2009, 01:23:27 PM »
I remember being so frustrated in that fight that Roddy Piper had with Keith David. Why didnt he just put on the glasses? What's the worst that could happen?


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Offline Jebus

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« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2009, 01:24:45 PM »
I WAS FROZEN TODAY!

Offline Venkman

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« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2009, 01:33:41 PM »
I also agreed with NC's take that the neighbourhood tough guys were legitimately the funniest characters in the movie.

"It's the 90s - we're gonna sue ya!"

Offline 2GOLD

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« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2009, 01:57:38 PM »

How could one forgot the 80's classic "Body Slam"? Come on man, ROCK AND WRESTLING!

Offline spman

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« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2009, 02:01:52 PM »
I'm still dying to one day get a No Holds Barred DVD with commentary from Vince, Hogan, and Zeus

Offline Brodypedia

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« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2009, 02:05:55 PM »
The next WWE film will be a straight-to-DVD built around Big Show, who will essentially play the giant version of the role Jack Black played in “Nacho Libre,” (a wrestler who does so to make money to support all the kids at the orphanage).

- WON


Offline Venkman

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« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2009, 02:06:01 PM »
Quote from: 2GOLD
How could one forgot the 80's classic "Body Slam"? Come on man, ROCK AND WRESTLING!

I saw that on TV sometime this decade (let's say around 2002 or so... I think it was on Spike when Spike was still 'The New TNN') and thought it was awesome. It just seemed so random to have this farce with King Tonga and Piper being different people, then they have a scene where NWA Champion Ric Flair is in the house.

Hey Gogo Gatdget Chaos, can you edit the thread title to remove "appalling". I feel bad talking about classics like "Body Slam" in here.

Offline Brodypedia

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« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2009, 02:06:18 PM »
I also agreed with NC's take that the neighbourhood tough guys were legitimately the funniest characters in the movie.

"It's the 90s - we're gonna sue ya!"

i perfered jack Elem's Drunken General

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« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2009, 02:07:07 PM »
I just watched Bodyslam a week or two ago in YouTube! Fun, cheesy '80s movie. It had a Rocky IV number of montages there. You can't get more tacky than the wrestling talk show scenes. Charles Nelson Reilly! A cussing Billy Barty! Captain Lou hollering!

Offline alkeiper

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« Reply #25 on: October 07, 2009, 02:10:03 PM »
Kurrgan has a budding acting career, he had a part in "300" and he pops up in "Sherlock Holmes" coming out later this year.


Offline Venkman

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« Reply #26 on: October 07, 2009, 02:11:34 PM »
To me, the greatest audience moment at the first Dark Knight screening I went to was a little kid who obviously wasn't even born in 1989 saying "Zeus!" when Lister appeared on screen. The pencil trick was second.


Offline tekcop

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« Reply #27 on: October 07, 2009, 02:15:42 PM »

The only Santo DVD I own at this point. I know they're all really bad, but this one, specifically, is just so boring. It doesn't even have that "so bad it's good" factor.

Offline Conspiracy_Victim

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« Reply #28 on: October 07, 2009, 04:11:38 PM »
Don't forget Nathan Jones making a film career out of getting beaten up by small Asian men and jobbing to Brad Pitt in 5 seconds.

Offline Gary

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« Reply #29 on: October 07, 2009, 04:13:38 PM »
Hey, "Ong Bak" is awesome thank you very much.


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« Reply #30 on: October 07, 2009, 04:22:27 PM »
I love how Sid is billed as "Psycho Sid Vicious" on the poster.

As far as wrestlers in movies go, nothing beats Edge's 5 second cameo in "Highlander" Endgame" and Christian's "blink and you'll miss him" appearance in Clive Owen's "Shoot 'em Up".

Offline alkeiper

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« Reply #31 on: October 07, 2009, 04:24:38 PM »


Bonus points for using the original Rey Misterio and hoping US fans don't notice.

Offline Doc Scurlock

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« Reply #32 on: October 07, 2009, 04:33:23 PM »
Is that the real poster they're going with for that Kurt Angle movie?

Offline Jingus

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« Reply #33 on: October 07, 2009, 04:40:40 PM »
[quote author=Epic Reine link=topic=1764.msg100019#msg100019 date=1254979347Christian's "blink and you'll miss him" appearance in Clive Owen's "Shoot 'em Up".
[/quote]
I've seen Shoot 'Em Up at least a half-dozen times.  It's one of my favorite action flicks of the past decade.  And I've still never once managed to spot Christian's alleged appearance.  When/where does he supposedly show up? 

Offline Big Green

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« Reply #34 on: October 07, 2009, 04:50:15 PM »


Quote
Unspeakable evil has fallen on a quiet river town. Sheriff Logan is thrust into a chilling nightmare of death and mayhem that paralyzes the town. He then learns of the community's seedy past and the evil that has risen from purgatory to exact revenge on the town. He is confronted by the spirits of old river squatters, "The Jacobs Boys," who possess the very essence of evil.

Gold medal-winning Olympic wrestler turned professional wrestler Kurt Angle portrayed a psycho sexual serial killer in Koehler's End Game. This time Angle makes a face turn playing the heroic sheriff out to stop a bloody trail of vengeance from being left behind by three hulking brothers killed by a lynch mob thirty years earlier.

Fellow pro wrestlers Kevin Nash (who has also appeared in The Punisher and The Longest Yard) and Psycho Sid Vicious, along with Bill Laing, the actor portraying the Mothman in The Mothman Prophecies, oppose Angle as the hulking Jacoby Boys.

Bill Hinzman, best known as the very first zombie to appear in the opening minutes of the original Night of the Living Dead, is Harvey Hix, a reclusive vigilante who knows an awful lot about the town's seedy history.

Other recognizable faces appearing include another pro wrestler, Ray Lloyd (known to WCW fans as the Mortal Kombat-inspired grappler "Glacier"), Allan Rowe Kelly of Don't Look in the Basement, and My Bloody Valentine 3D's Sam Nicotero.

I, for one, salute Kurt for finally finding a life for himself outside of pro wrestling and becoming the Z movie king.

The bolded part is the best.

Offline The ghost of bps21

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« Reply #35 on: October 07, 2009, 04:56:13 PM »
I really have to see End Game.  It's got to be so awful.  I'm going to love it.

Offline mellow

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« Reply #36 on: October 07, 2009, 05:00:14 PM »
I really have to see End Game.  It's got to be so awful.  I'm going to love it.

I got it saved in my Netflix queue. Apparently people who liked it also like Bound For Glory 2006 and Royal Rumble 2007.

Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« Reply #37 on: October 08, 2009, 12:51:18 AM »
To who asked, yes, that is the genuine poster for River of Darkness.


It has possibly the best tagline of all time.

Offline AndrewTS

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« Reply #38 on: October 08, 2009, 02:02:58 AM »
I can't believe I've yet to see Hell Comes to Frogtown. 

"Sam Hell" is an awesome name.
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Offline luke-o

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« Reply #39 on: October 08, 2009, 03:15:34 AM »
We've really gone all this time without mentoing:



C'mon! It gave us this:


I will eat all of your dicks if Daniel Bryan ACTUALLY cashes in his MITB at Wrestlemania
7 months and counting...

Offline Tigger

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« Reply #40 on: October 08, 2009, 03:18:46 AM »
Ready to Rumble is awesome.

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« Reply #41 on: October 08, 2009, 04:52:28 AM »
I think WWE Films is slowly getting better. At least with their theatrical releases. See No Evil and The Marine were terrible. The Condemned was much better, and 12 Rounds was a perfectly adequate action movie (even if it did seem like something from the 1990s.)

Continually putting John Cena in their movies is a mistake, though. For whatever reason, his charisma doesn't translate onto a movie screen and he comes off as incredibly generic and bland. Austin's a better actor because you can kind of see glimpses of his wrestling charisma when he acts.

Stacy Keibler's another example: she was really something special in wrestling and always stood out, but her acting career never went anywhere because she's just another generic hot chick (she's not a terrible actress, but she's not great either).

I actually liked The Marine.  I watched 12 Rounds last night, and it was terrible.

Offline Venkman

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« Reply #42 on: October 08, 2009, 04:59:49 AM »
I think WWE Films is slowly getting better. At least with their theatrical releases. See No Evil and The Marine were terrible. The Condemned was much better, and 12 Rounds was a perfectly adequate action movie (even if it did seem like something from the 1990s.)

Continually putting John Cena in their movies is a mistake, though. For whatever reason, his charisma doesn't translate onto a movie screen and he comes off as incredibly generic and bland. Austin's a better actor because you can kind of see glimpses of his wrestling charisma when he acts.

Stacy Keibler's another example: she was really something special in wrestling and always stood out, but her acting career never went anywhere because she's just another generic hot chick (she's not a terrible actress, but she's not great either).

I actually liked The Marine.  I watched 12 Rounds last night, and it was terrible.

I see you gave it 2 out of 5 Young-Stars.

Offline AndrewTS

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« Reply #43 on: October 08, 2009, 07:08:48 AM »
We've really gone all this time without mentoing:



C'mon! It gave us this:



Also, that shitty Bif Naked cover of "We're Not Gonna Take It".
The geek shall inherit the earth.

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I gave up watching pro wrestling in favor of something better written, more coherent, and less insulting to my intelligence--girly comic books.

Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« Reply #44 on: October 08, 2009, 08:03:00 AM »
I think 12 rounds is better because Cena was actually playing a character(even if it was just the generic everyman). In The Marine he barely spoke, and there wasn't any attempts to make the character at all realistic. I thought it was more action packed, as well and supporting characters were more fleshed out. They were trying with it, as opposed to The Marine, where everyone was just doing the bare minimum for a movie.

Granted it has a giant plot hole (how could the villain be sure everything was going to go down the way it did for his plan to work?) but I thought it was fine. If it had been released in the mid nineties (when those frantic/on the go action films were huge) it might have been a hit.

Offline Venkman

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« Reply #45 on: October 08, 2009, 09:06:20 AM »
I think 12 rounds is better because Cena was actually playing a character(even if it was just the generic everyman). In The Marine he barely spoke, and there wasn't any attempts to make the character at all realistic. I thought it was more action packed, as well and supporting characters were more fleshed out. They were trying with it, as opposed to The Marine, where everyone was just doing the bare minimum for a movie.

Granted it has a giant plot hole (how could the villain be sure everything was going to go down the way it did for his plan to work?) but I thought it was fine. If it had been released in the mid nineties (when those frantic/on the go action films were huge) it might have been a hit.

Xanatos Gambit!

And you haven't removed "appaling" yet. Come on now chief.

Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« Reply #46 on: October 08, 2009, 09:32:23 AM »
You're right: any film that has Sheriff Kurt Angle hunting down zombies can't be described as "appalling."

"Laughably bad, completely ridiculous, but somehow awesome" maybe, but that probably would fit in the title.

And in anticipation, here's a look at Sid's emmy award winning acting skills:


Goldberg Crushes Sid's Car

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« Reply #47 on: October 08, 2009, 10:03:25 AM »
I've seen Shoot 'Em Up at least a half-dozen times.  It's one of my favorite action flicks of the past decade.  And I've still never once managed to spot Christian's alleged appearance.  When/where does he supposedly show up? 

You have to pay close attention to the scene where Clive Owen's on the plane when the bad guys surround him. Christian is one of the guys who pulls a gun on him. It truly is a "blink and you'll miss him" sort of deal.

Offline Rock Star From Mars

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« Reply #48 on: October 08, 2009, 10:09:15 AM »
Here's a trailer for another Kurt Angle movie called "Chains"

Quote
Inspired from the Story of Job, Jay Uz is a wrongly convicted inmate who must either accept his fate and punishment from a racist prison guard, The Deputy, or find salvation with the help of a group of religious trustees.

Kurt Angle starring in the movie "Chains"



It's like The Shawshank redemption....only really, really shit.

Offline Doc Scurlock

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« Reply #49 on: October 08, 2009, 10:19:13 AM »
To who asked, yes, that is the genuine poster for River of Darkness.


It has possibly the best tagline of all time.

It just looks so amateurish I wasn't sure. They probably could have a better one done up for free essentially if they ran a contest. Winner gets to see their poster used and gets some free swag.