Author Topic: My Well Nutritioned Breakfast  (Read 16963 times)

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Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« on: April 06, 2011, 05:59:13 AM »
I've just realized that the only times I've ever have a good breakfast would be when my mother would make them. When left to my own devices I have some truly vile stuff for breakfast and it's no wonder I dominate for the rest of the day because I just prepared my body for some shit hits the fan type of shit if that shit does indeed hit the fan today.

So consider this thread my blog for my championship level breakfasts. Do you wanna dominate everyday for the rest of your life? Then chow down like a real man does. So yeah here we go, my breakfast of today.



The main course for today and I have to say this is the right way to get energy for the day. I'm no fucking horse so leave the oats to them and give me this masterpiece. You gots meat, cheese, bread... that's like half the food groups you need right there. I eat the whole thing which is 1000 calories... efficiency is my forte. Now I also got one of my fruits in for today during this.



Vitamin C is really important to me, so I got my fucking orange right here. Fuck somehow I'm still hungry, but I got the perfect side dish.



I heard eating spicy things is good for some bodyparts for you so I have about half of these and I have to say I feel good right about now. Now it's time for me to begin my deep breathing exercises.



I smoke a Newport and begin with my meditation. I have another one and 10 minutes later I'm ready to take on the world.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2011, 06:02:39 AM »
Consider this life my changed. True story, I didn't eat any fruit besides apples until I started smoking weed. I don't know a better place to post that factoid, Jackoid.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2011, 07:29:36 AM »
You're going to die soon :'(

Offline Incandenza

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2011, 07:34:25 AM »
Can you imagine the farts this guy has?

Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2011, 07:55:59 AM »
Quote
The main course for today and I have to say this is the right way to get energy for the day. I'm no fucking horse so leave the oats to them and give me this masterpiece. You gots meat, cheese, bread... that's like half the food groups you need right there. I eat the whole thing which is 1000 calories... efficiency is my forte. Now I also got one of my fruits in for today during this.



This part is pretty funny when you scroll down to see the Sunkist.

Offline Kinetic

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2011, 05:38:04 PM »
My roommate/brother-in-law has pretty much this exact diet, although the frozen pizza is usually reserved for dinner.  Breakfast is half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a cup of coffee.

Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2011, 05:52:42 PM »
Who eats the other half?

Offline Kinetic

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« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2011, 06:11:53 PM »
Vermin.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2011, 11:29:55 AM »
I haven't eaten anything yet today as I got food poisoning and can't keep anything down so I slept most of the day.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2011, 03:05:14 PM »
I had a salad, a plate or broccoli, and a protein shake for dinner tonight. This seems like a good thread to share that bit of info in.

Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2011, 03:37:49 PM »
I had a salad, a plate or broccoli, and a protein shake for dinner tonight. This seems like a good thread to share that bit of info in.

So which was it?

Offline Byron The Bulp

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2011, 01:04:10 AM »
Just the plate.

Offline #sorrynotsorry

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« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2011, 05:34:59 AM »
I had a blunt and a beer for breakfast today. I think I may be watching too many rap videos on Youtube.

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2011, 06:15:56 AM »
Can you imagine the farts this guy has?
Addendum: Let's take a moment to consider that this thread was started by the same guy who made this other thread.

Offline BPSS

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« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2011, 01:59:35 PM »
I think he also posted once about how bad his balls smell. I wonder why.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2011, 07:51:25 PM »
It's the price of eating like a reall fucking man

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2011, 04:19:46 AM »
Wake and Bake Grape Ape

8 pieces of french toast

left over nachoes from last night

Apple Cider

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #17 on: April 11, 2011, 04:20:14 AM »
Sometimes I do go with a coventional breakfast

Offline the max

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« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2011, 11:28:37 AM »
Wake and Bake Grape Ape

8 pieces of french toast

left over nachoes from last night

Apple Cider

av/post combo.

Offline Wrestlemania/Limp Bizkit WINNER

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« Reply #19 on: April 13, 2011, 12:14:16 PM »
8 pieces of French toast?  You wanna start looking like Cory In The House again?

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #20 on: April 13, 2011, 12:28:23 PM »
that won't happen I train hard son

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #21 on: April 18, 2011, 06:22:43 PM »
I had a big bowl of salad for breakfast. I haven't shat in 4 days so I'm gonna have to take precautions and eat like a normal person now once I take my shit, but until the shit comes it's nothing but a big bowl of salad and rasin bran for snacks.

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2011, 01:27:26 AM »
Fiber One's better at getting the bowels going than Raisin Bran.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2011, 01:40:32 AM »
I had a big bowl of salad for breakfast. I haven't shat in 4 days so I'm gonna have to take precautions and eat like a normal person now once I take my shit, but until the shit comes it's nothing but a big bowl of salad and rasin bran for snacks.

Drink coffee

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #24 on: April 19, 2011, 01:41:58 AM »
Also, given KOAB's diet, how often do you suppose he goes through these doo-doo droughts.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #25 on: April 19, 2011, 01:45:14 AM »
Once every three months.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #26 on: April 19, 2011, 01:46:28 AM »
4 cups of coffee + a banana every morning keeps me regular as a Swiss time piece. I can't even fathom going multiple days without shitting. wtf does that even feel like?

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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My Well Nutritioned Breakfast
« Reply #27 on: April 19, 2011, 01:57:25 AM »
It's bad.

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #28 on: April 19, 2011, 02:02:26 AM »
I can't recall the last time I went more than a day without crapping. I've been constipated only once. I was 8 or 9 at the time. I don't remember much about it other than my mother making me eat a lot of prunes.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #29 on: April 19, 2011, 02:51:07 AM »
I shit once a week until 2006. When I was home for Thanksgiving in 2007 or 2008, I didn't shit for days, including after eating an huge meal for Thanksgiving. I just felt so nervous all the time, like I could feel all this waste inside me. Pretty scary stuff.

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #30 on: April 19, 2011, 03:04:01 AM »
Not only do I crap regularly, I crap speedily. No need for reading material. By the time I find where I left off, it's time to wipe.

Offline Dad Rock

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« Reply #31 on: April 19, 2011, 03:08:40 AM »
I can't go to the toilet without a book or newspaper. Never get through more than a couple of sentences, but it's still necessary. I also seemingly have to take a shit after every single meal. It's charming, really.
met this fat girl (not a huge whale or anything but like 25-26 BMI) at a club in like,,, 2008....shes cool, not my type but giant hooters....we start drinkin gettin real faded, and she takes me out to her car to smoke some dro.....im high as fuck and point blank shes just like "hey man i am down to blow you........" im like whatever and we try but my dick wasnt workin cuz i was so faded and this fuckin weed she had was like....fuck i just couldnt get my head in the game..but im rico suave and i get her digits and she texts me her address the next day and says "come over to get ur cock sucked and blow a load in my perm"

so i roll up and her roommate answers the door, i ask if her roomies around and she says "oh....she DIED TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY...."

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #32 on: April 19, 2011, 03:13:37 AM »
I like playing Kirby Super Star on Nintendo DS when I poop.

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #33 on: April 19, 2011, 05:11:35 AM »
Just had a satisfying shit. Shitting at work is THE BEST.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #34 on: April 19, 2011, 06:14:19 AM »
You know what used to never fail to trigger a bowel movement for me? Going to the library.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #35 on: April 19, 2011, 10:10:25 AM »
about 3 weeks ago I took 20 shits in 4 days.

I'm also an efficient & quick shitter like like Inc.

Offline Kinsey

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« Reply #36 on: April 19, 2011, 10:16:58 PM »
I knock out about 3 shits a day... I can't imagine going a week


Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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« Reply #37 on: April 20, 2011, 10:10:25 AM »
I just took the biggest shit ever I think. Not even biggest in that I was exhausted or anything. Actually probably not even big more just long. It looked like I dropped an anaconda out of my ass, no homo. I was kinda surprised.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #38 on: April 20, 2011, 12:39:48 PM »
I'm pretty sure it was a crazy religious anti-faggot study they did that said taking cock up the ass leads to more cancer because the asshole gets super stretched to get some heinous painous shit out. Makes you wonder just how capable the butthole is.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #39 on: June 23, 2011, 04:32:12 AM »
I just had a pepperoni pizza and fuck my gut hurts.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #40 on: June 23, 2011, 04:49:53 AM »
Okay just had some kush so I'll be fine and well fuck this. I gotta eat healthy from now on.

Offline BPSS

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« Reply #41 on: June 23, 2011, 04:58:40 AM »
I just had a pepperoni pizza and fuck my gut hurts.



Okay just had some kush so I'll be fine and well fuck this. I gotta eat healthy from now on.


Offline The King of Trash

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« Reply #42 on: June 30, 2011, 02:45:19 AM »
What did you eat today?

Offline Dad Rock

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« Reply #43 on: June 30, 2011, 08:54:12 AM »
I had some houmous sandwiches and a plate of chips. Thanks for asking!

edit: this was spread out over the course of the day rather than just for breakfast, and maybe that's why I'm not quite dominating like KOAB does.
met this fat girl (not a huge whale or anything but like 25-26 BMI) at a club in like,,, 2008....shes cool, not my type but giant hooters....we start drinkin gettin real faded, and she takes me out to her car to smoke some dro.....im high as fuck and point blank shes just like "hey man i am down to blow you........" im like whatever and we try but my dick wasnt workin cuz i was so faded and this fuckin weed she had was like....fuck i just couldnt get my head in the game..but im rico suave and i get her digits and she texts me her address the next day and says "come over to get ur cock sucked and blow a load in my perm"

so i roll up and her roommate answers the door, i ask if her roomies around and she says "oh....she DIED TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY...."

Offline BPSS

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« Reply #44 on: June 30, 2011, 09:17:27 AM »
What kind of hummus do you prefer, Alfie?

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #45 on: June 30, 2011, 01:33:13 PM »
I had a bunch of egg rolls

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #46 on: June 30, 2011, 11:59:45 PM »
My breakfast these days



+


Offline The King of Trash

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« Reply #47 on: July 01, 2011, 01:30:25 AM »
Yesterday I had a joint, multivitamin and a protein shake. Great way to start the day I think.

Offline Brooklyn Zoo

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« Reply #48 on: July 01, 2011, 05:52:16 AM »
Is everyone taking these multivitamins? Me too sometimes.

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #49 on: July 01, 2011, 05:56:13 AM »
Yeah, I take 'em, even though they're largely unnecessary if you keep a "well nutritioned" diet. I've bought so much into the hype of multivitamins being Good for You that it'd take a report showing they cause testicle cancer to get me to stop.