Author Topic: America's Least Essential Restaurant  (Read 16883 times)

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Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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« on: May 14, 2011, 04:20:49 AM »
The state of Sbarro's

Just read this semi-interesting article calling Sbarro, America's least essential restaurant. Writer makes a decent enough case but it's hard to argue Sbarro being any more or less inessential than say Au Bon Pain or Arby's---all of three of which are staples of the Maine Mall food court.

Offline Amy pats fan

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« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2011, 09:54:27 PM »
Arbys is mad essential dawg.  I think that was the first place I ever had curly fries.  F'n beef & cheddar with hot sauce.......gooooood shit

I'd say "Roy Rogers" is probably the right answer here.  It's everything you love about a fast food burger joint only way crappier

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2011, 12:43:23 AM »
Ruby Tuesdays

Offline Wizard of Maz

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« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2011, 02:29:38 AM »
I'd agree with the author. Sbarro's is pretty useless, the taste is middle of the road at best, and since I've only ever seen them in shopping malls their prices are inflated.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2011, 07:45:19 AM »
Ruby Tuesdays

endless fries refills fuckface they are essential

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2011, 07:50:14 AM »
Arbys is mad essential dawg.  I think that was the first place I ever had curly fries.  F'n beef & cheddar with hot sauce.......gooooood shit

I'd say "Roy Rogers" is probably the right answer here.  It's everything you love about a fast food burger joint only way crappier
I'll second that. And not just because on my way back to Maine from Pennsylvania, I stopped at a highway rest stop where the only restaurants were Roy Rogers and Sbarro and they were both closed at 9:15 P.M. Ugh. WHO THE FUCK CLOSES AT 9 P.M.? The Slim Jim and Sprite I had at the little convenience store there probably ended providing more sustenance anyways.

I kind of like Arby's but I don't think it's very good outside the curly fries and Jamocha shakes and you can get those at other fast food joints.

Offline Kinsey

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« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2011, 08:09:10 AM »
Ruby Tuesdays

endless fries refills fuckface they are essential

and cheddar biscuits!

I've never eaten at a sbarro. If I'm in a mall, I'm hitting up Panda Express, dawg.


Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2011, 08:53:32 AM »
Ruby Tuesday cheddar biscuits are p. p. bad.

Offline Star Ocean 3

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« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2011, 09:14:04 AM »
Panda Express is a regular restaurant now, with locations outside of malls. The Mongolian BBQ places have taken over inside malls.

Offline AA484

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« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2011, 11:14:15 AM »
Any place that has a salad bar is straight up with me.  Ruby Tuesday's gets a pass.

Offline Kinsey

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« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2011, 11:18:47 AM »
Any place that has a salad bar is straight up with me.  Ruby Tuesday's gets a pass.

A good salad bar is pretty killer. Just reading that made me want a nice salad now...


Offline AA484

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« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2011, 11:27:50 AM »
Anyone here remember Quincy's steak house?  Salad bar, hot bar, soft serve ice cream.  When I was a young 'un I used to beg my parents to take me there at least once a week.  I haven't had it in years (most, if not all, of them have closed) so my advanced palate would probably reject it, but I wouldn't mind having a meal there for old time's sake.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2011, 02:24:01 PM »
I remember Quincy's.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2011, 02:32:28 PM »
"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!" is the funniest thing Sherri ever said on The Simpsons. Or was it Terri?

Offline Edwin

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« Reply #14 on: May 17, 2011, 02:45:20 PM »
Any place that has a salad bar is straight up with me.  Ruby Tuesday's gets a pass.
The Ruby Tuesday salad bar is like an unholy butt garden.  That shit is disgusting. 

Offline Beer Baron

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« Reply #15 on: May 17, 2011, 02:52:13 PM »
Ruby Tuesday's is at least better than the Olive Garden

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #16 on: May 17, 2011, 03:07:12 PM »
Haha no it's not

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« Reply #17 on: May 17, 2011, 03:37:34 PM »
If including Canadian chains, Kelsey's is the least essential Restaurant.

Fact. I have never been to a TGIFridays or an Applebees.

Offline Edwin

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« Reply #18 on: May 17, 2011, 03:38:36 PM »
I would call Ruby Tuesday's and Olive Garden two sides of the same miserable, tearful coin.  Sbarro is the result of their bloodcum Willem Dafoe Antichrist hammer-smashed cock union.

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« Reply #19 on: May 17, 2011, 03:45:56 PM »
I mean for chain Italian restaurants, The Old Spaghetti Factory is miles ahead of the Olive Garden here in Canada. Though I see commercials for East Side Mario's, I have seen maybe 10 or so locations across Canada.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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« Reply #20 on: May 17, 2011, 04:42:05 PM »
If including Canadian chains, Kelsey's is the least essential Restaurant.

Fact. I have never been to a TGIFridays or an Applebees.
Me neither. Ditto with Red Lobster and Chilli's. I used to be able to say the same thing about Chilli's until 3 or 4 years ago when my friend's girlfriend got to make the lunch spot pick when we were all being indecisive.

My aversion to shitty sit down chains is weird considering how much I love shitty fast food chains but I guess if I'm going to shove mediocre food down my gullet, I don't want to pay $10-15 plus tip for it.

Offline Vitamin X

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« Reply #21 on: May 17, 2011, 06:01:43 PM »
Red Lobster is cool for when they do Lobster or Shrimpfest. Wife and I went a while back and they had some deal for like $15-20 they just keep bringing out different shrimp dishes until you tell them to stop. This along with Cheddar Bay biscuits also being unlimited made it one of the best gluttonfests I've ever had, high or otherwise, but especially high.

I'm not big on chain restaurants in general (duh, I live in Portland, why bother?) but sometimes there's a time and place for them. I can't find any local place that does crab legs, for instance. I know I can just go to the store and boil em myself, but why? I like scarfing them down.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #22 on: May 17, 2011, 07:01:49 PM »
Haha no it's not

lol now I know where your main dating spot is

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2011, 12:28:25 AM »
 ;)

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2011, 01:23:57 AM »
FUN FACT: If you ate at the Olive Garden in Tuscaloosa between 2003 and 2006, you probably have an STD.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2011, 03:17:46 AM »
FUN FACT: If you ate at the Olive Garden in Tuscaloosa between 2003 and 2006, you probably have an STD.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2011, 03:23:03 AM »
That's not so fun  >:(

Offline BPSS

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« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2011, 03:34:18 AM »
FUN FACT: If you ate at the Olive Garden in Tuscaloosa between 1818 and 2011, you probably have an STD.

You see, 1818 is when Tuscaloosa County was formed. Also, it's Alabama.

Offline Kinsey

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« Reply #28 on: May 18, 2011, 03:39:04 AM »
olive garden is pure shit. I had a friend who worked there, their meals come in frozen portions, and they essentially just heat it up when you order it. gross.

fridays can be decent, but never order a steak there, ugh.


Offline Wizard of Maz

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« Reply #29 on: May 18, 2011, 05:46:38 AM »
I think the steak advice holds true for most cookie cutter chains, barring the occasional chef who actually knows what they are doing or is working some kind of voodoo back there.

I don't mind Chili's (the one here is actually really, really good) or Applebee's as kind of a tweener place to eat. They serve their purpose, they are nicer than McD's for a date, but not so fancy that you feel the need to go all out for. Sizzler can eat a bag of dicks though.

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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« Reply #30 on: May 18, 2011, 05:54:45 AM »
I second the nomination for Applebee's being inessential. There used to be three within quick driving distance from my house. Now there's one. With a Chili's, a Longhorn, a Bugaboo Steakhouse, and a pair of 99's within the 5-mile radius for mid-sized dining, Applebee's got really fucked over. The one in town is now a British Beer Company, which is phenomenal compared to Applebee's.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #31 on: May 18, 2011, 06:28:40 AM »
Ruby Tuesdays is like a shittier Applebee's.

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« Reply #32 on: May 18, 2011, 06:28:41 AM »
Whichever "steakhouse" serves barrels of peanuts and has the floor covered in peanut shells is the worst thing.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #33 on: May 18, 2011, 06:29:14 AM »
LONE STAR

Offline Firmino of the 909

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« Reply #34 on: May 18, 2011, 06:30:12 AM »
The last time I ate at Applebees it was one of the worst meals of my whole life.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #35 on: May 18, 2011, 06:30:45 AM »
As far as those sorts of places go, Outback is really the only one I'd ever maybe voluntarily decide to go eat at.

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« Reply #36 on: May 18, 2011, 06:30:46 AM »
Nah, it's Logan's

Offline Byron The Bulp

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« Reply #37 on: May 18, 2011, 06:31:32 AM »
I don't know what that is.

Offline Firmino of the 909

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« Reply #38 on: May 18, 2011, 06:36:02 AM »
Chili's is okay. At least they can make a meal or two that doesn't taste like BBQ'd dog food. Outback is pretty good. But I hate chain restaurants.


koab [8:27 PM]
damn i thought you guys were good little cucks who would shit themselfs so a POC could peacefully protest

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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« Reply #39 on: May 18, 2011, 06:40:17 AM »
Chili's has its Cajun Chicken Pasta, delicious fries, and serves IBC. This holds it above most other chain restaurants for me.

Offline Wizard of Maz

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« Reply #40 on: May 18, 2011, 07:08:44 AM »
Whichever "steakhouse" serves barrels of peanuts and has the floor covered in peanut shells is the worst thing.

The chain out here is called Texas Roadhouse, and the waiters and waitresses line dance for you during certain songs, and the music is so fuckin' loud you have to yell to converse across the table. YEEHAW MOTHERFUCKERS!

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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« Reply #41 on: May 18, 2011, 07:17:10 AM »
I remember the Chicken Crispers at Chilli's being good in a mutant food kind of way but they're the only restaurant I've ever been to that fucked up the free chips and salsa.

Oh and the talking moose head at Bugaboo Creek scared the hell out of me as a kid. Between that and the singing waiters, it was easily the most frightening chain restaurant of them all. I remember the blooming onion was pretty decent though I haven't been there in at least ten years.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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« Reply #42 on: May 18, 2011, 07:26:00 AM »
Whichever "steakhouse" serves barrels of peanuts and has the floor covered in peanut shells is the worst thing.

The chain out here is called Texas Roadhouse, and the waiters and waitresses line dance for you during certain songs, and the music is so fuckin' loud you have to yell to converse across the table. YEEHAW MOTHERFUCKERS!

I think I ate at one of those back in November. It was awful.

Offline Wizard of Maz

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« Reply #43 on: May 18, 2011, 07:32:31 AM »
Did you yell YEEHAW MOTHERFUCKERS? That sometimes helps...


...it never helps.

Offline Monsoon Classic

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« Reply #44 on: May 18, 2011, 10:55:02 AM »
Whichever "steakhouse" serves barrels of peanuts and has the floor covered in peanut shells is the worst thing.

The chain out here is called Texas Roadhouse, and the waiters and waitresses line dance for you during certain songs, and the music is so fuckin' loud you have to yell to converse across the table. YEEHAW MOTHERFUCKERS!

My family and I go to the Roadhouse . . . but only on Saturdays like at 4ish. No dancing, no singing, just mellow music and really good steaks, salads, & bread. This one doesn't have peanuts so maybe they don't have the line dancing either.
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Offline Wizard of Maz

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« Reply #45 on: May 18, 2011, 11:27:08 AM »
http://www.texasroadhouse.com/

They all look like this. So if it's not like that then it's probably not the same place.

Offline #sorrynotsorry

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« Reply #46 on: May 18, 2011, 11:38:33 AM »
Applebee's is pretty terrible. So is Red Robin.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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« Reply #47 on: May 18, 2011, 11:48:42 AM »
My brother's a big fan of Red Robin's but will only eat at the ones in Pennsylvania because he claims the ones here absolutely suck. Never been there myself.

To get back to Sbarro's, I don't think I've ever seen an Italian work there. Typically dejected looking Latinos and Asians.  I was shocked when I found out it was actually founded by Italians which really says something. Also unrelated, for whatever it's worth, Burger King is one of two restaurants where I saw the manager verbally abuse his employees. Man, that was awkward.

Offline Saints_Fan_H

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« Reply #48 on: May 18, 2011, 01:28:27 PM »
Applebee's is not a place a like, consequently, it's the only place I can get my fiancee' to pick up the tab.

Olive Garden here is run by a pretty cool guy. I called them when my sis was coming in from the Army one weekend. We wanted to surprise our mom so I coordinated with the OG and they set us up a private table away from the rest of the patrons, but made it not look OBVIOUS that something was up. Me and Fiancee' lured mom there under the presumption to talk wedding details. I told her "Look mom we're going to Olive Garden, I got lunch reservations and as it turns out I'm old friends with the manager!" When we got there I asked for the girl personally, she came out, we bullshitted about "How's...uhh.....your family?"

She sat us, I sent dad the text that we were seated, and they walked up and mom dropped several F bombs in glee. After our meal the entire staff showed up with a cake for my sis, thanked her for her service to the country, and all wanted to take a picture with her.

So say what you will about their food- they're slogan is fucking on the money. They treat you REALLY well over there.


(we're still debating calling them and saying I have a cousin getting released from the looney bin and he wants his first meal to be salad and bread sticks, then not tell one of my friends what I told Olive Garden and bring him for lunch)

Offline wnyxmcneal

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« Reply #49 on: May 18, 2011, 01:35:18 PM »
Applebee's is pretty terrible. So is Red Robin.

Red Robin's steak sliders are incredible