Author Topic: Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies  (Read 1840 times)

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Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Van Damme, Arnold, and Jackie Chan were tied for my favorite action stars growing up.





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Offline Big Beard Booty Daddy

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2011, 04:10:12 AM »
Time Cop and Sudden Death were my 2 favorite JCVD movies. They were awesome.
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Offline 2GOLD

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2011, 05:04:12 AM »

He had the Bruce Lee kill face down well, I'll give him that. And near the end in all of his movies, he was required to do a split.


Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2011, 05:39:30 AM »
Hard Target and Universal Soldier helped shape my youth alongside Terminator 2, Aliens, and Ghostbusters.

Offline Angle-plex

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2011, 09:03:11 AM »
Bloodsport and Kickboxer were my movies when I was younger. JCVD's good movies all still hold up too.

Offline Saints_Fan_H

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2011, 12:08:34 AM »
I like the Timecop rule about the same matter not being able to occupy the same space. Wish Back to the Future had implemented it.

Offline Beer Baron

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2011, 02:20:18 AM »
At least it doesn't follow Timerider rules, which is just stupid anyways.

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2011, 02:58:59 AM »
Another awesome Timecop rule was that you couldn't travel to the future because it hasn't happened yet.

Offline Aero

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2011, 04:54:28 AM »
I caught the ending of Timecop on TV about a month ago. Obviously, movies based on the future always have to have flashy, futuristic, sci-fi-type stuff in them, but I have to say, the cars in Timecop might be the corniest-looking futuristic development ever, especially with the backdrop of an otherwise standard looking neighborhood. Best seen at 7:52 here:



To stay more on topic, JCVD is phenomenal in Street Fighter.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2011, 12:42:15 PM »
Van Damme is the only action star who in his best movies... his buddies and villains are more interesting than him... every time.

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2011, 01:11:50 PM »
Look at who the villains were in JCVD's movies. BOLO, Raul Julia gnawing the shit out of the scenary in the best way ever, Dolph, Lance Henriksen, Powers Boothe. Those guys would overshadow most action stars.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2011, 01:19:25 PM »
But his buddies overshadow him too.

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2011, 01:36:37 PM »
But his buddies overshadow him too.

I thought Hacksaw Jim Ogre was annoying as hell and can't remember any of his other buddies. Maybe wacky cajun Wilford Brimley from Hard Target overshadowed him. Zangiev wasn't originally his buddy, but I guess he still overshadows him. I rank Guile as number three in Street Fighter. He had too many stupid lines to be ignored.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #13 on: September 29, 2011, 02:01:36 PM »
But his buddies overshadow him too.

I thought Hacksaw Jim Ogre was annoying as hell
                                                                                                   
How dare you disrespect Too Buku Jackson

Offline Joyful & Soyful

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Fuck A Steven Seagal, JCVD was the real greatest action star for like 7 movies
« Reply #14 on: September 29, 2011, 02:05:02 PM »
But his buddies overshadow him too.

I thought Hacksaw Jim Ogre was annoying as hell
                                                                                                   
How dare you disrespect Too Buku Jackson

Oh shit, I forgot that was one of your many usernames. I wish the stern old trainer from the first twenty minutes of Bloodsport was in it more.

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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Van Damme is the only action star who in his best movies... his buddies and villains are more interesting than him... every time.


YES.

Offline Gary

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"Hard Target" largely gets by due to the fact that Sam Raimi was one of the producers.

"go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse"

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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Wilford Brimley, dude.

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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ARNOLD. VOSLOO.

Forgetting about him might...hurt...his feelings...

Offline DMann1979

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Offline Gary

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I was honestly shocked that "JCVD" actually was a legit good movie. Seriously, if you haven't, go see it.

"go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse"

Offline Sabre

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Bloodsport is one fucking epic movie.

As is Double Impact.  Two Van Dammes for extra lulz.

Offline Jingus

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"Hard Target" largely gets by due to the fact that Sam Raimi was one of the producers.
Wilford Brimley, dude.
ARNOLD. VOSLOO.

Forgetting about him might...hurt...his feelings...

Lance Henriksen and John Woo certainly didn't hurt. 


I was honestly shocked that "JCVD" actually was a legit good movie. Seriously, if you haven't, go see it.
JCVD was the short of movie that makes giving a good performance relatively easy.  He's playing himself, but not exactly himself, sort of a slightly alternate-universe version.  In most of his scenes, he's clearly being directed to just be quiet and naturalistic and generally do as little "Acting~!" as possible.  And hey, it worked!  I've got a theory that practically anyone can be directed to at least one good performance like this; call it "the Darren Aronofsky effect", because he does it with shitty actors on a regular basis. 

That being said, JCVD had two big flaws.  Firstly, Van Damme was portrayed a wee bit too much like a suffering martyr for my tastes; he acts like being rich and famous for starring in shitty action movies is his version of dying on the cross for our sins.  And secondly, this was WAY too much of a Dog Day Afternoon ripoff during the scenes in the bank.  Even the lead robber was made to look exactly like John Cazale did in the earlier film. 

Offline Youth N Asia

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edit, sorry, didn't turn out right

Offline Avid Warehouse Enthusiast

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Having not yet seen JCVD, I'm initially led to believe that the point of it is less portraying JCVD as some sort of martyr and more showing how action stars aren't really the unstoppable shitkickers their movies make them out to be.

Except for Bruce Willis. I would never, under any circumstances, fuck with that man. That goes double for Jason Statham.

Offline Jingus

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more showing how action stars aren't really the unstoppable shitkickers their movies make them out to be.
It's not about that at all.  There's not even a single fight scene.  It's all about Jean Claude's midlife existential crisis. 

Offline Harley Quinn

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As is Double Impact.  Two Van Dammes for extra lulz.

This.  This movie pretty much was a staple of my child hood and even now I have to watch it.  Speaking of... Another fun movie of his that I love is The Quest.  It's basically a mid 90's variation of Bloodsport but seeing JCVD as a "clown" performer in NY is worth it.

Offline Sabre

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I love the backstage politics revolving Bloodsport being a "true story" when infact it appears Frank Dux made it all up.  Then the Quest got made and Dux sued, but lost.