Author Topic: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!  (Read 5805 times)

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Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« on: August 19, 2010, 08:53:52 AM »

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This pisses me off more than a message forum has ever pissed me off before. Even though it's just text from someone that I will never meet, it pisses me off. Not just because I'm a Morley mark, but because people are so dimwitted they have to always use the same excuses for everything.

His matches are repetitive? Fuck you. Alright. Just straight fuck you. This is the WWE. EVERY match is repetitive. Every fucking one. That's what happens when you only get four minutes to work. I think, no fuck that, I KNOW Val is the best wrestler on RAW. Yeah, that's right. Better than Jericho, better than RVD & better than Lance Storm. You can call me crazy all you want, but I know what I have seen. Morley always...ALWAYS entertains me. On the stick, in the ring, everywhere. He should be a main eventer by now. Especially after having to go through all the "Val Venis" bullshit.

He is WAY above average in the wrestling department. "Average at best?" Fucking please. Rodney Mack is average at best. Test is average at best. Morley is better than half the roster (including Smackdown). Average at best means that when he has his best nights, it's only average. Or, it could mean if you added up all of his matches and rated them on quality, then divided by the number of matches you would end up with a number that was "average" based on a scale that would have to be made up as well. Fuck that. Did you even think before you typed that?

His offense is rather dull aside from a few moves like the Blue Thunder? Why's that? Because not every single move he uses is exclusive to him? I beg to differ. He executes all of his moves well. He has a great finisher. The 'Money Shot' is highly underrated. Everytime I see it I just have flashbacks to Jimmy Snuka days. Just because he doesn't do twenty moonsaults and six corkscrews before hitting a body splash doesn't mean that it can't still be impressive.

I swear, it's like people have selective viewing habits. If you don't think Morley is talented, you shouldn't be allowed to form an opinion about wrestling on a wrestling forum. The same people that preach about Chris Jericho, Booker T. & The Hurricane had better damn well see something in Morley.

Now I'm bitter. I can't believe that someone would go out of their way to call Morley average. I've never even seen Morley botch a spot! Remember his feud with D-Lo way back when for the IC title? Yeah, he was even good back then. I've also never heard about Morley being hard to work with or causing problems backstage. In fact, whenever I do read something about him, it's usually just something like him going to another wrestlers wedding. That just shows that he's a nice guy with a lot of friends. I guess we all know where nice guys finish.

I just think it's a case of the good old TSM double standard again. I have no doubt in my mind that if people talked about Morley as much as they talk about some other 'Smark Darlings" everyone would act like they liked him. Why? Because this place is full of fucking sheep. Just a bunch of damn bandwagon jumpers. It makes me sick. It's like everyone just tries to fit in. Everyone likes the same five wrestlers...and I know that they are talented, but I guarantee half of the people that act like they like Guerrero or Jericho only say that to try and fit in here. The reasoning is because they don't want to be "ran off" for having a different opinion. Don't act like it wouldn't happen either, because it's happened in the past.

It's not just a difference of opinion either. You might not like Morley as much as me, that's fine. You might think other wrestlers are better than him, that's fine too. Those are opinions, I'll admit that. Saying the man is not talented or is average is not an opinion. Not to me. To me it's false information. It's bullshit. He obviously has talent. OBVIOUSLY. If you can't see that, quit watching wrestling because you wouldn't know talent it it took you out into the middle of the street and blew your brains out.


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It pisses me me angry more than ever the message forum. It satisfies me to have someone, even just text, it pisses me? I have marked not only Maury, because people are so, so they always have to use stupid excuses all the same.

His game do you repeat? Fuck. Yes. Just straight sex. This is, WWE is.  Every game is repeated. Every damn one. What happens when it happens to get a job just four minutes. I do not fuck, I know Val, RAW I think the best wrestler.  Yeah, that's right. Betajeriko, and even more than the RVD Ransusutomu. If necessary you can call all the crazy, I know I've seen. Maury is always ... always amuse me. Stick, Ring, where the main eventer he is now in. You must. Especially all the "Val Venis" to pass through the bullshit.

He is far above the average of the wrestling. "Average at best?" Please shit. Rodonimakku is the highest average. The test is the best on average. Morley, the list includes more than half of Exciting () is. His average was the best way when the best night, it is average.  You rated on quality and match his all, then divided by the number, if you add up, or it will end with the number of times that a story like that on the average "average" to be configured as not well matched according to size. Fuck it. Did you even think before you type?

What is the movement of some boring like Blue Thunder and not attack his side? Why? Since not all he uses one hand, you are exclusive with him? Unfortunately I disagree with you is different. / Unfortunately can not accept. / With all due respect, I beg to differ. He performs all his movements. He has a great finish.  'The Money Shot very underrated. I have flashbacks every day is just Jimisunuka, please see it. Before pressing his body splash, 20 moonsaults just because 06 is not without a corkscrew can not impressive yet.

I swear, it is customary that people choose to watch. Morley you, you can not form an opinion on the wrestling forum wrestling when I do not think talent is not allowed. Kurisujeriko, Booker T & please see was something better I feel in motion the same people who preach about the hurricane.

Now it is bitter. I can not believe I'm going to call someone on their way mean motion. I've never seen Molly foiled spot too! The D - and a feud with his back to low. IC title when you? Yes, he's a good time. Morley or hard work I have never heard of backstage that is causing the problem.  In fact, I always do read something about him, usually going to be some other wrestlers wedding just like him. It just shows him a nice guy with many friends. We would like to know where all the nice people quit.

I'm just that good old case of TSM double standard I think. I have my mind with doubt, and several other of their 'Smark Darlings "They are people like him is why the story almost as Maury People talk to action? This This is because the place is full of sheep shit.  Damn just a bunch of bandwagon jumpers. It makes me sick. It tries to fit like the wrestlers of the same five everyone in. Just like everyone ... and I, they are but have the talent, I act, such as Jericho, and Guerrero to say ensure that half the people trying to fit in here.  They "ran away to" I do not want to have different opinions, and reasoning. Would not act like that happen either, because it happened in the past.

This is not just a difference of opinion. Many of you and me, it's not like I'm Morley may not have. You have other wrestlers better than him, I think it may be too good. These views, I'll admit it. The man with the opinion that the talent does not mean to say or not.  I want. I do not false information. That's bullshit. He is obviously talented. Clear. If you're unable to see you out in the middle of the street that you can find talent missed because your brain can quit watching wrestling.


Rikishi vs Val Venis Cage match


Offline Kahran Ramsus

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2010, 09:07:12 AM »
They had something with Val Venis in 2000 when he was with Trish Stratus, but then they screwed it up by putting him in Right to Censor.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2010, 09:26:33 AM »

How did Val Venis get second entrance in a match with Triple H in 2005?


Offline 2GOLD

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« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2010, 09:45:07 AM »

Ahh Val vs Ken...

"Slap me"

Offline Byron The Bulp

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2010, 09:53:17 AM »

Offline Baby Shoes

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2010, 10:09:07 AM »
Venis rules. Its too bad his only t-shirt was written in jizz.
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Offline ForKnox

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2010, 10:16:40 AM »
I can't be the only one that liked the Venis & Viscera tag team.

Offline Papacita

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2010, 10:56:41 AM »
They had something with Val Venis in 2000 when he was with Trish Stratus, but then they screwed it up by putting him in Right to Censor.

Agreed.  That was probably my favorite period for Val.

But then again, I also enjoyed the choppy choppy pee pee stuff...

Offline Sabre

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2010, 12:34:08 PM »
NOT VAL VENIS!

Offline Gary

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« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2010, 12:36:47 PM »
NOT VAL VENIS!
Rando started that, didn't he?

"go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse"

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2010, 02:58:37 AM »
I wish he'd kept that sped up club remix of his theme that he had when he was with Trish



It's like I'm at the club gettin' down

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2010, 04:19:13 AM »
When I was playing with WWF Bone Crunchin' Action figures back in the day (three months ago), I pushed Al Snow and Val Venis as the modern day equivalents of Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude respectively. One time, I had Raven's boss ass WCW figure win the WWF title, handcuff Vince to the ropes, and break it apart piece by piece in front of him. It was fucking awesome.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2010, 04:21:38 AM »
Val Venis as the 2k Rick Rude kind of happened for like two months but then Vince McMahon had to be a dick and put Valbowski in the Right to Censor.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2010, 04:25:21 AM »

I did not know this match existed.

FANTASY BOOKING: The Straight Edge Society begins campaigning against the evils of pornography leading to the return of The Big Valbowski and his good friend, The Godfather. Might as well bring back the 500 Pound Love Machine Big Daddy V, while we're at it. Hey, he did feud with CM Punk like three years ago too.

Offline Jaxxxson Mayhem

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2010, 04:26:49 AM »
I recently watched the choppy choppy pee pee shit recently and still find it great.  him saying the cold chopping block saved him and brought in john bobbit in the ring as part of the promo.  great shit.

Offline Shooting Star

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« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2010, 07:51:11 PM »
Why did they start calling him The Big Balbowsky in 2002? His actual ring name I mean, not by nickname.

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2010, 03:18:13 AM »
Why did they start calling him The Big Balbowsky in 2002? His actual ring name I mean, not by nickname.

Probably because of the Big Lebowski?
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Offline luke-o

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2010, 05:25:55 AM »
Why did they start calling him The Big Balbowsky in 2002? His actual ring name I mean, not by nickname.

It was the big Valbowski. And I'd imagine because of the Big Lebowski.

I'm a Venis mark. I thought he was excellent and always made a point of pushing him on EWR.

I will eat all of your dicks if Daniel Bryan ACTUALLY cashes in his MITB at Wrestlemania
7 months and counting...

Offline TheSSNintendo

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« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2010, 11:05:19 AM »
Why did they start calling him The Big Balbowsky in 2002? His actual ring name I mean, not by nickname.

It was the big Valbowski. And I'd imagine because of the Big Lebowski.

I'm a Venis mark. I thought he was excellent and always made a point of pushing him on EWR.

Heh. You said "point" and "push" in a Val Venis thread.

Offline treble

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2010, 11:27:20 AM »
I saw him one time signing autographs on the soft serve machine of food court McDonalds.

Offline DukeTogo

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2010, 04:29:53 PM »
Chief Morley era was alright.

Offline Shooting Star

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« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2010, 05:23:56 PM »
Why did they start calling him The Big Balbowsky in 2002? His actual ring name I mean, not by nickname.

It was the big Valbowski. And I'd imagine because of the Big Lebowski.

I'm a Venis mark. I thought he was excellent and always made a point of pushing him on EWR.

I mean why change Val Venis for Valbowski. It had always been his nickname but in 2002 it became his name. It was something like changing The Rock to The Brahma Bull.

Offline Czech

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2010, 06:19:48 PM »
Yeah, that move was really puzzling. The Big Lebowski came out four years before he was exclusively called The Big Valbowski, which was also about the time Val popped up (so to speak) in the WWF, so he'd been using it all along anyway. Maybe Vince was late in renting Coen Brothers films. Perhaps we forgot the brief stint in 1998 in which Marc Mero went by "The Hudsucker Boxy."

Offline BPSS

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #23 on: August 23, 2010, 01:58:57 AM »
I just assumed it was an attempt to freshen up an otherwise stale character.

Offline Czech

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« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2010, 04:37:15 AM »
But they didn't change his character or his theme song or anything! It was weird, though not as weird as when he stopped being a porn star, and  started wearing white tights and entering to a gay club mix.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #25 on: August 23, 2010, 04:41:52 AM »
It wasn't gay  :-\

Offline Spaceman Spiff 🚀

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« Reply #26 on: August 23, 2010, 05:24:43 AM »
Yeah, that move was really puzzling. The Big Lebowski came out four years before he was exclusively called The Big Valbowski, which was also about the time Val popped up (so to speak) in the WWF, so he'd been using it all along anyway. Maybe Vince was late in renting Coen Brothers films. Perhaps we forgot the brief stint in 1998 in which Marc Mero went by "The Hudsucker Boxy."
It's pretty well established Vince is behind the curve when it comes to pop culture.  He had no clue Paul Birchill was doing a Johnny Depp POTC pirate back when that movie was big, so Vince picking up on "Lebowski" years later wouldn't necessarily be out of the question.

Also, Czech commenting in the wrestling folder.

Offline Byron The Bulp

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #27 on: August 23, 2010, 06:26:59 AM »
I wasn't watching in '02, but was the change to Big Valbowski any more sudden and weird than Billy Gunn suddenly becoming "Mr. Ass"?

Offline Czech

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« Reply #28 on: August 23, 2010, 06:55:18 AM »
I thought that was more of a gradual, casual transition. Billy Gunn was one of my least favorite wrestlers ever, by the way.

Offline Black Lushus

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« Reply #29 on: August 23, 2010, 06:58:33 AM »
That rant to start this thread...was that a Coffey meltdown?

Offline Czech

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« Reply #30 on: August 23, 2010, 07:08:09 AM »
Yeah. We haven't heard from Coffey in a long time. Last I saw of him, his facebook picture was him with a thought bubble of pizza. I think he got fired from a pizza joint that his aunt and uncle ran or something.

Offline "Dot Com" Matt Postin (heel)

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #31 on: August 23, 2010, 07:11:07 AM »
Coffey was recently ostracized from the Something Awful Wrestling Forum for Stupid Babies

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #32 on: August 23, 2010, 07:14:12 AM »
The only worthwhile thing I remember Val Venis ever being a part of was a pretty good match with D-Lo Brown at SummerSlam in '98.  Kinda sucks for the guy that he got saddled with what was basically the Attitude era equivalent to the '90s WWF cliche of guys who wrestle as a second job, but it's not like he wasn't given plenty of opportunities to transcend the stupid gimmick that they gave him initially.   

Offline Byron The Bulp

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*hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #33 on: August 23, 2010, 07:22:21 AM »
I thought that was more of a gradual, casual transition. Billy Gunn was one of my least favorite wrestlers ever, by the way.

He had a cool finisher.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #34 on: December 04, 2015, 11:36:22 AM »
Val Venis has changed his name to Kaptain Kannibis and is a 9/11 Truther with a YouTube show where he reviews marijuana strains. So I guess he's turned out better than approximately 95% of the dudes from the Attitude Era. :)





50 is a weird age to start dressing up like a member of the Kottonmouth Kings though :/

Isn't he an ARIZONA MAN? Baby Shoes, please go hang out with Val Venis/Kaptain Kannibis.

Offline Baby Shoes

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #35 on: December 04, 2015, 11:45:30 AM »
I was sad when I found out I missed an autograph signing with him and RELLIK at a Home Depot across town a few years back.

I swear I read somewhere that he is so gung ho on weed because he had some medical condition that he feels is all better since he started smoking.

I think he works indy shows around here, so I will start the hunt for the Kaptain.
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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #36 on: December 04, 2015, 11:58:56 AM »
I would see his Facebook posts years ago and he was already going on about a lot of this stuff. Big time anti-government guy. Taxes, civil liberties, and the war on drugs were pretty much all he'd talk about.

Offline DMann1979

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #37 on: December 04, 2015, 01:20:10 PM »
HELLLLOOOOO DOOOOOOBIES!!

Offline Ed

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #38 on: December 06, 2015, 09:14:27 AM »
So, THAT'S who Kaptain Kannibis is on Periscope. I was under the impression that it was Wiz Khalifa!

Offline BreakingMad

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #39 on: December 07, 2015, 09:53:20 PM »
They had something with Val Venis in 2000 when he was with Trish Stratus, but then they screwed it up by putting him in Right to Censor.

I thought that was when he was a generic bore.

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #40 on: December 08, 2015, 02:06:49 AM »
Chief Morley was my favorite run of his.

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #41 on: December 10, 2015, 02:53:57 AM »
WON

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Sean Morley, 44, the former Val Venis, is now running a marijuana dispensary in Phoenix, using the name Kaptain Kannabis

Baby Shoes, we need a story of you smoking up with the big Valbowski.

Offline Baby Shoes

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #42 on: December 11, 2015, 12:26:01 PM »


Apparently his place is called Health 4 Life Dispensaries and is in Mesa, Arizona.  This is getting more real.
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Offline Richard

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #43 on: December 12, 2015, 06:38:51 AM »
Right in Sheriff Joe's jurisdiction. Wonder what kind of relationship they have with the cops?

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #44 on: February 16, 2020, 12:45:58 PM »
So....Val Venis has some (problematic) thoughts on Nyla Rose:





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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #45 on: February 16, 2020, 01:03:03 PM »
Dude's been a lifelong hardcore conservative, hasn't he?

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #46 on: February 16, 2020, 01:08:00 PM »
He identifies as Libertarian so yeah, pretty much.

Offline Baby Shoes

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #47 on: February 18, 2020, 12:26:59 PM »
Cody did a conference call today where he called Val the “Disco Inferno of the WWE” saying no one wanted or cared for his opinion and to stop paying attention to him so he will go away
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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #48 on: Today at 03:09:37 AM »






Oh Val, just stop.

Offline Bernie Bro Kamala

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Re: *hip swivel* IT'S THE VAL VENIS THREAD!
« Reply #49 on: Today at 03:21:15 AM »
Val has the crazy eyes now. :(  Too much time smoking weed and living in Arizona (no offense, Baby Shoes) has rotted his brain.

I have a feeling we're going to get InfoWars Val Venis in the ring at some point. Definitely not for AEW or WWE but I feel like Impact or MLW or maybe even Joey Janela will bring him back for a run to rile everyone up.

"The ol' Valbowski doesn't need any blue pills. He just needs the redpill, you liberal cucks!"

*hip swivel*