Author Topic: Etiquette  (Read 1956 times)

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Offline Jaxxxson Mayhem

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Etiquette
« on: April 03, 2009, 01:48:47 PM »


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Posted by: bigolsmitty March 31, 2009 11:44 pm
I'm just going to throw out some things as they pop into my head.

-wait until the host or guest of honor starts eating before you eat
-don't clink your glass to get folks' attention
-cover your lemon if you're going to squeeze it into tea or water so you don't squirt other people
-stand up when women excuse themselves from table or when they're sitting down
-for white wine glasses (the thinner ones) hold by the stem, this keeps the heat from your hand from warming wine
-for red wine glasses, you can hold by the stem or the glass

SOUP
-scoop AWAY from yourself and wipe bottom of spoon off on side of bowl/cup
-bring the soup up to your mouth, rather than bending over toward the soup
-lightly sip from side of spoon
-don't pick up to scoop out last bits of soup, or pick up bowl & slurp (unless you're in Asia, then slurp like a motherfucker), but it's cool to lightly tilt the bowl

RSVPing
-this means you HAVE to respond, even if you don't intend to come

More to come. If you feel like it...if you have questions, I may be able to answer

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Posted by: Sesquipedaliantique March 31, 2009 11:46 pm
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ March 31, 2009 07:44 pm)
-don't clink your glass to get folks' attention


Well, obviously.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty March 31, 2009 11:46 pm
Also, don't clink your glasses together for a toast if you're using nice glasses or crystal. Simply hold your glass up toward the other people at the table, make eye contact, & smile.


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Posted by: pbone April 01, 2009 01:01 am
Oh my god dude. My girlfriend can't fucking hold a fork to save her goddamned life. She holds it in a fist. I'm going to cut her hands off some day.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 01, 2009 01:22 am
QUOTE (Sesquipedaliantique @ March 31, 2009 07:46 pm)
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ March 31, 2009 07:44 pm)
-don't clink your glass to get folks' attention


Well, obviously.

I don't know about in Britain, but Americans sometimes hit cutlery against the side of a glass to get people's attention for a toast.

Regarding the aforementioned "continental" vs. "American" eating styles: either is acceptable, not doing one of them isn't. I'm gonna cut & paste from another site.



QUOTE
-The correct way to cut your meat, whether eating American or continental style, is to grasp your knife and fork in a relaxed, natural manner, never with clenched fists.
-In the American style of eating, after cutting your meat, you switch the fork to your right hand, place your knife on the plate, spear a piece of meat, and then eat it.
-In the Continental eating style, you keep your fork in your left hand and convey the food to your mouth after cutting each piece.  The knife remains in your hand and may be subtly used to get meat or any other food.


 

In neither style should you do any "scooping" of food w/your utensils.

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Posted by: Vitamin X April 01, 2009 02:12 am
You know, that's really funny about American vs. Continental. When I was a little kid and figuring out how to use fork and knife, I naturally went to the Continental style because I found it the most efficient. Why all the switching of hands for the fork? Just keep it in one place and cut with your right. Of course my parents yelled at me over and over and over again for doing it that way, so in protest for a while I only used chopsticks (works surprisingly well for Cuban food, not so much for the steaks though). This was kind of a valuable skill as when I went to eat with my friends I was the only non-Asian kid they knew who even as a pre-teen, knew how to use chopsticks.

I wonder if, in the Continental style, it is acceptable to use your knife in your left hand and just continue to use your fork in your right? That's pretty much what I do most of the time, although when I'm being extremely conscious of when I'm eating i.e. at a dinner club, first date, and other formal dinners, I've been conditioned to do it American style.

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Posted by: special k April 01, 2009 02:54 am
I may have to try eating continental style someday. I'm a lefty, and I hate bumping elbows, which only happens when everyone's really close at a nice family dinner or something. It makes me look like an oaf. Which I am, but still.

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Posted by: Agent of Oblivion April 01, 2009 08:11 am
Bite your fork and I'll stab your fucking eyes.

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Posted by: EricMM April 01, 2009 08:38 am
I'm pretty sure I'm a fairly uncouth eater.

*sigh*

O = I do it X = I disobey this rule

O -wait until the host or guest of honor starts eating before you eat
O -don't clink your glass to get folks' attention
X -cover your lemon if you're going to squeeze it into tea or water so you don't squirt other people
XX (why!?) -stand up when women excuse themselves from table or when they're sitting down
O -for white wine glasses (the thinner ones) hold by the stem, this keeps the heat from your hand from warming wine
O -for red wine glasses, you can hold by the stem or the glass
X -scoop AWAY from yourself and wipe bottom of spoon off on side of bowl/cup
X -bring the soup up to your mouth, rather than bending over toward the soup
X -lightly sip from side of spoon
X -don't pick up to scoop out last bits of soup, or pick up bowl & slurp (unless you're in Asia, then slurp like a motherfucker), but it's cool to lightly tilt the bowl. I slurp like crazy. Usually, yes, in Asian restaurants. But it just makes sense.
O -RSVP, this means you HAVE to respond, even if you don't intend to come

And I hold my utensils WAY too tightly.

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Posted by: Dandy April 01, 2009 08:56 am
Very good thread. I have been to many formal events and banquets and have had a couple of "classes" on etiquette. I was also taught from as early as I can remember to hold a pencil or eating utensil in the correct manner. Etiquette is not only around to not offend others, it's the most effective/efficient ways to dine. For instance, the reason that you spoon soup away from you is to allow the soup to drip into the bowl instead of spoon it right up toward your mouth and having it drip on your shirt.

A good one to add is how you let an educated server know that you are done with your course. Turn your utensil over and have the handle resting on the lip of the plate in the 5 o'clock position.

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Posted by: EricMM April 01, 2009 09:05 am
How about this one:

When eating a burrito or similarly mess sammitch, do you wipe your face off with a napkin whenever you get a schmear of mustard on your face or do you wait until you've finished the entire meal before you wipe off? Lets say if you're dining alone?

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 01, 2009 09:08 am
Hopefully you wouldn't be eating a burrito at a formal dinner, but you should just dab the stuff off of your face. If you're dining alone, just put the burrito on your plate and eat it like a dog.

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Posted by: EricMM April 01, 2009 09:24 am
But what if you're AT a Chipotle, say.

And I very rarely go to formal dinners, and I can understand that you simply act differently.

But I see etiquette as something to be followed whenever you're eating with other people, anywhere...

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Posted by: Dandy April 01, 2009 09:32 am
Etiquette should be followed at all times. It's hard to stay in practice if you just sit around eating spaghetti with your hands. It's not hard, just some common sense explanations of how not to get food all over yourself.

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Posted by: EricMM April 01, 2009 09:36 am
Then again, what if you frequent Ethiopian restaurants...

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Posted by: Dandy April 01, 2009 09:39 am
Don't look them directly in the eye and eat your food as quickly as possible.

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Posted by: Golgo April 01, 2009 10:35 am
I'm bad when it comes to eating with others, so thankfully I don't attend many formal events. Just a couple weddings to my credit, or the occasional semi-nice restaurant, but I can hold a fork and I know enough not to be rude. I'm revolting when I'm by myself, however.

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Posted by: Twisted Intestine April 01, 2009 11:47 am
Yeah, I chew with my mouth closed. Good enough.

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Posted by: Byron T. Bulb April 01, 2009 04:17 pm
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ April 01, 2009 03:44 am)
-stand up when women excuse themselves from table or when they're sitting down


Get that antiquated normative gender role bullshit out of here. I thought you were better than that, bigolsmitty.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 01, 2009 04:36 pm
Eh, I'm mostly for getting rid of all the stuff that's mean to women, like pay discrimination, sexual harassment, religion and the like. I'm okay with antiquated nice things.

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Posted by: Incandenza April 01, 2009 04:41 pm
smitty, I want to punch you in the balls.

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Posted by: fazzle April 01, 2009 04:45 pm
Food goes in mouth.


There. That's the only rule you need.

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Posted by: treble April 01, 2009 04:57 pm
I had to take a course last year where we spent a few weeks talking about this shit. A lot of it just seemed like common sense to me, although some of the rules for eating the dessert seemed a little weird. Like, we were eating this baked apple thing and all they brought us was a spoon.

I have a friend who eats like a pig, though, and it's embarrassing to eat with him in public. Last time I went somewhere with him, he put his napkin in his Pepsi to wet it and clean his hands. It was only Pizza Hut, but still.

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Posted by: Jingus April 01, 2009 05:50 pm
Proper eating etiquette annoys me. For one thing, I've got cerebral palsy. This means that the nerve impulses controlling the fast-twitch muscles in my fingers do not work correctly. This means that I have difficulty holding a fork or spoon in the way that etiquetters insist on. I more or less have to hold it fist-style if I don't want to drop the damn thing. This also means that I do have to lean over the bowl and/or plate when I'm eating, since I will inevitably drop some bits of food during the meal just through sheer clumsiness. It isn't my choice, it's imposed upon me from birth. I also have handwriting like a retarded seven year old. So it pisses me off when uptight people get legitimately offended that I am not doing something which I can't do even if I wanted to.

But even aside from that, really, what's the point? As long as you don't chew with your mouth open and don't make a mess, who cares how you eat? I've never understood how it makes any difference whatsoever in life. Yet I've been told that people will think I'm a hillbilly if I dare to rest my elbow on the table. Anyone shallow enough to make a judgement about someone's character based on something as inconsequential as that is someone whose opinion we should all disregard anyway. Fuck etiquette.


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Posted by: Brooklyn Zoo April 01, 2009 06:07 pm
I pretty much agree with Jingus. Just don't be rude. That's all that matters.

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Posted by: AboveAverage484 April 01, 2009 06:24 pm
Nobody really puts their napkin in their lap anymore, but I do. Not because I think it's proper etiquette, but so I won't get anything on my pants.

Sometimes I can't chew with my mouth completely closed, but that's because it is difficult for me to breath out of my nose, so I usually do it without realizing it.

I usually wait until everyone is seated before I begin to eat.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 01, 2009 07:57 pm
Jingus, I kind of agree. But I would like to have a job, and some people care. Life ain't fair.

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Posted by: kkktookmybabyaway April 01, 2009 09:10 pm
Are we talking artsy fartsy outings or normal get-togethers? If the former I'll never have to worry about violating at least half those rules.

One thing that gets on my nerves is when people are at another person's house and nobody eats anything.

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Posted by: AboveAverage484 April 01, 2009 10:05 pm
I agree with you, I always try to at least try everything, especially if I'm at someone's house. If they took the time and effort to make it, the least I can do is test it out.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 01, 2009 10:23 pm
QUOTE (AboveAverage484 @ April 01, 2009 06:05 pm)
I agree with you, I always try to at least try everything, especially if I'm at someone's house. If they took the time and effort to make it, the least I can do is test it out.

This is the right thing to do. If you have some kind of allergy, religious restriction, etc. you should tell the host in advance. Otherwise, suck it up and at least have a few bites.

Also, Inc, I'll fucking cut your face.

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Posted by: special k April 02, 2009 12:26 am
I generally have pretty good manners, with one notable exception. I obliterate food.
This?
 

in my stomach in ten minutes. The burrito I mean, not the baby.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 12:48 am
In formal settings, you should generally try to, within reason, adjust your speed to that of the host. Don't finish really fast and then sit there like a jackass while everyone else eats for another 20 min. Same with going too slow--don't just sit there and blab and make everyone wait for you to finish.

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Posted by: geniusMoment April 02, 2009 02:59 am
In general I follow most of those rules if I'm at a nice restaurant. But, the one I don't get is having to eat something someone else made because they put forth the effort. That's just stupid. If I really don't like something I'm not going to force it down just to appease someone. I wouldn't ask someone to do the same for me. And how does any of this relate to getting a good job? I'm not sure where you're interviewing, but sipping your soup the correct way has never been a deal breaker for me.

For my job as a market manager for a publishing company distributer I have to take out college professors to nice restaurants all the time. Honestly, as long as you're not a complete slob I really don't think it matters.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 08:28 am
A guy who was interviewing for a CEO position for a major company was once rejected by the owner because he seasoned his food with salt or pepper before tasting it.

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Posted by: Agent of Oblivion April 02, 2009 08:32 am
That's retarded.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 08:33 am
The owner said he could only assume that the guy made decisions w/o collecting all of the information.

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Posted by: BurningPirateShipSex April 02, 2009 09:12 am
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ April 02, 2009 08:33 am)
The owner said he could only assume that the guy made decisions w/o collecting all of the information.

Bourgeois rubbish.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 09:13 am
Man, a lotta populist backlash in this thread.

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Posted by: EricMM April 02, 2009 10:25 am
Last night I tried to eat my soup raising my spoon away from me instead of towards me so that it'd drip into the bowl.

Seemed okay...

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 11:33 am
As far as silverware goes, if you're at a fancy dinner w/a bunch, generally just go from the outside in. That is, use the fork the furthest from you for the first course requiring a fork, the spoon furthest from you for the first course that you need a spoon for, etc.

Some utensils are optional: for example--you may have a pasta spoon for a pasta course to help you twirl (btw, stringy pasta, like angel hair, should be twirled). It's okay not to use these optional ones. The waiter should take them prior to the next course if you don't use them.

If you have utensils above your plate, those are either for dessert or sorbet.

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Posted by: kkktookmybabyaway April 02, 2009 12:23 pm
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ April 02, 2009 04:28 am)
A guy who was interviewing for a CEO position for a major company was once rejected by the owner because he seasoned his food with salt or pepper before tasting it.

I wouldn't want to work for a boss like that anyway.

Good thing my CEO interviews take place at Texas Roadhouse.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 12:54 pm
Nobody in their right mind would make you the CEO of shit.

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Posted by: kkktookmybabyaway April 02, 2009 01:43 pm
No kidding.

My expertise comes in the field of Piss and Vinegar.

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Posted by: Matt Young April 02, 2009 01:46 pm
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ April 02, 2009 05:33 am)
The owner said he could only assume that the guy made decisions w/o collecting all of the information.

You know what they say about people who assume...

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Posted by: BurningPirateShipSex April 02, 2009 01:57 pm
QUOTE (Matt Young @ April 02, 2009 01:46 pm)
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ April 02, 2009 05:33 am)
The owner said he could only assume that the guy made decisions w/o collecting all of the information.

You know what they say about people who assume...

Smitty will make a post lauding their arbitrary criteria of assessment?


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Posted by: Vitamin X April 02, 2009 02:34 pm
I also suffer from the problem of eating way too fast. This comes from having jobs with shifts that are just long enough for me to get hungry during (especially on days I have both work and school) but that are not long enough for me to take a lunch, so I run, buy something to eat, and scarf it down within 15 minutes. Burritos have become one of my favorite foods as a result of this, I've got to say.

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Posted by: bigolsmitty April 02, 2009 02:37 pm
QUOTE (BurningPirateShipSex @ April 02, 2009 09:57 am)
QUOTE (Matt Young @ April 02, 2009 01:46 pm)
QUOTE (bigolsmitty @ April 02, 2009 05:33 am)
The owner said he could only assume that the guy made decisions w/o collecting all of the information.

You know what they say about people who assume...

Smitty will make a post lauding their arbitrary criteria of assessment?

Didn't laud it, just acknowledged it. See my post above. I'm not crazy about all of this formality and tradition, but I recognize that people are judged on things like appearance and manners. As such, I think if you want to be somewhat successful in business or government, you have to follow arbitrary rules to a certain extent.

Offline zio

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Etiquette
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2009, 04:47:50 PM »
Yeah, no idea why you need to stand if a woman excuses herself or comes back to the table.  Stupid rule. 

Same with elbows on the table.  I'm attending a business dinner that's a requirement for my major and for me to pass a course in a few weeks. I'll see first-hand what I'm going to have to do the rest of my life.

Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2009, 05:16:20 PM »
Fuck all the different types of forks and spoons.

Offline Tigger

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« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2009, 11:24:27 PM »
Nigga only need one fork!

What if I order a large chocolate milk and blow bubbles in it? Is that okay?

Offline ericmm

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« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2009, 02:54:16 AM »
Do it politely!

Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2009, 03:00:15 AM »
After I punch smitty in the balls, I am going to surgically remove them and make him wear them as earrings.

Offline 👓bigolsmitty👓

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« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2009, 03:43:31 AM »
After I cut Inc's face, I'm going to teabag him with my nut earrings.
All of my opinions have been thought out as a result of discourse with other people.


Offline Cool, Bad, & Handsome

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« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2009, 04:25:23 AM »
I'm pretty sure you're getting teabagged while the women have left the table for being an uptight prudish faggot.

I EAT LIKE A FUCKING VIKING AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, IGNORE IT

Offline 👓bigolsmitty👓

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« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2009, 04:31:33 AM »
I'm pretty sure you're getting teabagged while the women have left the table for being an uptight prudish faggot.

I'm pretty sure your poor grammar got in the way of your attempted burn.
All of my opinions have been thought out as a result of discourse with other people.


Offline Incandenza

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« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2009, 04:43:43 AM »
It was crudely phrased, but I think he's got you nailed, smitty.

Offline 👓bigolsmitty👓

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« Reply #10 on: April 06, 2009, 04:52:42 AM »
Dammit.
All of my opinions have been thought out as a result of discourse with other people.


Offline 👓bigolsmitty👓

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« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2009, 04:56:48 AM »
Me, about to be ball punched/teabagged:



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Offline GAYGENT OF OBLIVION

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« Reply #12 on: April 06, 2009, 05:17:00 AM »

Offline 👓bigolsmitty👓

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« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2009, 05:31:36 AM »
Didn't notice them eating sushi in there...
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