CXF’s Official NBA Player Name Cheat Sheet

It’s NBA season, and that means plenty of internet discussions about your favorite players.  But, sometimes you struggle to actually spell out those players’ names without looking like an idiot and pausing before finally settling on typing out “The Greek Freak”.  Culture Crossfire has you covered, and is providing the hoops fans with a cheat sheet for hard to spell player names.  Just look at the big brain on you, now!

 

Emerging Young Talent Familiar to Conversation

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Jonas Valanciunas – Center, Toronto Drakes

Before learning to spell his last name, I referred to him as “Mr. V” in fantasy trade-talk.  A young scoring machine in the post, big Jonas is emerging and blossoming for the Toronto Raptors as they look to build on their strong campaign from last season.  He’s most commonly talked about in discussions where someone watches a Raptors game and questions why Dwane Casey (Don’t tell me I have to do a coach’s version of this.)  doesn’t give him more minutes.

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Giannis Antetokounmpo – Power Forward/Small Forward/Shooting Guard/Point Guard/Point Forward/Stretch Four/Dragon, Milwaukee Bucks

Antetokounmpo is one of the most entertaining players in the league in that he is still so raw, but has so much potential.  He also runs and moves on the court like a baby dragon, perhaps not grasping the power with which he will learn to play the game with as he grows.  Jason Kidd, and no one in the state of Wisconsin, entirely knows which position he should play, or what he should specialize in.  Still, he’ll be in the league for a long time, so it’s best to just buckle down and write his name fifty times on a piece of paper.

Matthew Dellavedova

Matthew Dellavedova – Point Guard, Cleveland Cavaliers

The young guard has been lauded for his defensive abilities by those he has encountered in the league so far, and has already replaced Dion Waiters during crunch time.  It’s wise to say that, in time, he’ll become one of LeBron James’ favorite teammates.  So let’s get this name right before we start channeling our lazy, inner Chris Berman and call him “Matthew Bell Biv DeVoea”.

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Gorgui Dieng – Center, Minnesota Timberwolves

Nikola Pekovic’s backup, Dieng garnered attention at the end of last season after getting some stable minutes in Pekovic’s absence.  His production showed that he would be able to handle the load if Nikola were to be injured this season, which is likely to happen to the big guy.  He’s sure to be a hot property in fantasy leagues at some point this season.

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Nik Stauskas – Shooting Guard, Sacramento Kings

Among the baffling personnel decisions made by the ever-meddling new owner of the Sacramento Kings, Vivek Ranadive, was drafting his man-crush Nik Stauskas instead of a point guard like Elfrid Payton when letting Isaiah Thomas head for greener pastures.  This man loves Stauskas, but remember when spelling the name that it doesn’t sound like “kiss” in the latter stages.  Nik Stauskas will certainly be the designated cherry picker in Vivek’s 4-on-5 scheme coming to a NBADL game near you!

 

The Three Nikola

Nikola Pekovic – Center, Minnesota Timberwolves

Nikola Vucevic – Center, Orlando Magic

Nikola Mirotic – Power Forward, Chicago Bulls

According to Pekovic, the first name of Nikola is not a name as common as Mike in Montenegro.  It’s actually quite the uncommon name and it’s just happenstance that have three players named Nikola in the NBA at the same time.

 

Five Player Names You Should Be Able to Spell By Now

Dirk Nowitzki

Serge Ibaka

Joel Embiid

Anderson Varejao

Manu Ginobili

These are prominent players for a very long time now.  Joel Embiid’s name has been in your face for quite a while and he owns Twitter, I’ve heard.  If you still have trouble in spelling out Dirk’s name, you may have to look in the mirror and not consider yourself a hoops fan any longer.  Log on to the Joel Embiid owner Twitter and apologize to Dirk.  Before you attempt to argue, he won an MVP and is going to score 30,000 points.

And now…the official Cheat Sheet, sorted by teams, alphabetically.

 

NBA Player Name Cheat Sheet

Atlanta Hawks

Pero Antic

Dennis Schroder

Thabo Sefolosha

Boston Celtics

Kelly Olynyk

Vitor Faverani

Brooklyn Nets

Bojan Bogdanovic

Mirza Teletovic

Charlotte Hornets

Bismack Biyombo

Noah Vonleh

Chicago Bulls

Nikola Mirotic

Cleveland Cavaliers

Matthew Dellavedova

Dallas Mavericks

Al-Farouq Aminu

Gal Mekel

Denver Nuggets

Timofey Mozgov

Jusuf Nurkic

Detroit Pistons

Jonas Jerebko

Luigi Datome

Golden State Warriors

Festus Ezeli

Ognjen Kuzmic

Nemanja Nedovic

Houston Rockets

Donatas Motiejunas

Kostas Papanikolaou

Indiana Pacers

Ian Mahinmi

Damjan Rudez

Los Angeles Clippers

Hedo Turkoglu

Memphis Grizzlies

Kosta Koufos

Nick Calathes

Milwaukee Bucks

Giannis Antetokounmpo

Ersan Ilyasova

Zaza Pachulia

Minnesota Timberwolves

Gorgui Dieng

Nikola Pekovic

New Orleans Pelicans

Omer Asik

Alexis Ajinca

New York Knicks

Pablo Prigioni

Orlando Magic

Nikola Vucevic

Philadelphia 76ers

Luc Mbah a Moute

Alexey Shved

Sacramento Kings

Omri Casspi

Nik Stauskas

Toronto Raptors

Jonas Valanciunas

Lucas Noqueira

Greg Stiemsma

Utah Jazz

Dante Exum

Enes Kanter

Washington Wizards

Marcin Gortat

Nene Hilario

 

 

And now, for fun, let’s remember some of the names that we worked hard to learn in the past but now might need to refresher course in.

 

Retired NBA Player Name Cheat Sheet

Dikembe Mutombo

Sarunas Marciulionis

Arvydas Sabonis

Kiki Vandeweghe

Hakeem Olajuwon

Zydrunas Ilgauskas

Andrea Bargnani

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