“The Best of Eddie Gilbert” Volume 3

Eddie Gilbert’s best promos and angles from Bill Watts’ UWF are highlighted

UWF Promo

Rick Steiner and Sting are lifting weights as Eddie Gilbert cuts a promo with Jim Ross serving as the roving reporter. Gilbert announces Missy Hyatt (and her big money) has merged with Hot Stuff International. Gilbert hints he’s banging Missy to boot.

We flash to Ross sitting at Hyatt’s mansion – poolside. Hyatt reveals she needed more men to take over the UWF. John Tatum (Missy’s boy toy) is oblivious to the fact that she is shutting him out as he swims in the background while occasionally calling for Missy to watch his moves. He then preens himself as Hyatt gushes over Steiner and Sting’s bodies. Tatum is assured he’s still Missy’s man but Hyatt’s tone suggests Gilbert is getting her goods. Good bit from all involved here. The sex toy not realizing his sugar mama is getting ready to dump him was told with enough nuance that it will be fun to watch Tatum fall into the trap.

UWF Tag champions The Fantastics vs. Sting and Eddie Gilbert

John Tatum appears with the heels and Hyatt. He’s desperately trying to keep Missy by his side as she ogles Gilbert. The Fantastics go all around the ringside area kissing and hugging all the women. Michael Hayes drools over Hyatt’s cleavage on commentary.

Gilbert tries to strut, but Bobby Fulton downs him with a punch and does the Fargo strut instead. The crowd eats that up. Sting tags in to use his size against the diminutive Fulton. A proto-Stinger Splash misses and Rogers gets a hot tag. All four men go at it, leading to Sting being downed and Gilbert being taken out with a few double team moves. Sting charges back in and wipes out Fulton and the ref with a tackle. Rogers gets a long visual pin on Gilbert as a result. Uh-oh….I can see where this is going.  A second ref runs down and he is quickly taken down as Rogers kicks Gilbert into him. Rogers gets another visual pin, but again there is no ref.

Hyatt cracks Rogers with her Gucci bag and Gilbert steals the pin and the titles after around 5 minutes of action. A wrestling staple is at play here as the faces prove superior when things are fair, but the heels cheat to unjustly capture the win.

The Missing Link and the Fantastics (with Dark Journey) vs. Eddie Gilbert, Sting and John Tatum (with Missy Hyatt)

The Fantastics again go all around ringside kissing and hugging all the ladies. The Link is not accustomed to being near the fans and has a bewildered look as Dark Journey guides him. The faces start fast as Tatum is attacked on the floor and splatters on the concrete as Link assaults him. Gilbert is trapped alone and takes a number of double-team moves from the Fantastics to the crowds delight.

Once things get started proper Tatum takes abuse from all three faces and flops to the mat. The crowd is red hot despite four of the men being “small”. Vince McMahon would be baffled at this sight. Gilbert tags in and meets the same fate as Tatum as all three faces batter him. Sting comes in as the muscle and has a little better luck. Gilbert gets in a cheap shot to swing things to the side of evil.

When we return from commercial the heels are still enjoying control with quick tags. Fulton and Gilbert connect with simultaneous blows to set up Rogers being given the hot tag. A six-way brawl breaks out immediately as the crowd loses their collective minds. Missy tries to run interference and is chased by Dark Journey. Journey is blocked by the ref. This allows Hyatt to swing her loaded Gucci bag at Rogers, who ducks the blow. Gilbert is whacked by the object accidentally and falls down unconscious. Rogers snags the win off of that to gain a modicum of revenge for being screwed out of the titles. Gilbert comes to with his face soaked in blood.   God is it fun to watch wrestling where the fans are so invested and hot for the product.

Hot Stuff Conference

Michael Hayes and JR introduce a special interview with Eddie Gilbert, Missy Hyatt, and John Tatum. Hayes talks up the feud between the “broads” as JR scolds him for such language.

The trio are sitting around a table with JR. Tatum tries to hold Hyatt’s hand and she subtlety avoids doing so. He then takes her hand as rubs his chest with it. Hyatt asks him to go find her brush in order to get rid of him. In the meanwhile, Gilbert produces his own brush for her, so Tatum combs his own hair.

Hyatt is not worried about Dark Journey because a lot of people have tried to get rid of her and no one has been successful to date. Hyatt wants all the titles in the UWF. Tatum promises that despite the rumors, Missy still loves him.

John Tatum and Missy Hyatt Lunch Date

JR and Tatum await Hyatt, who is late picking them up for a planned lunch date. Tatum promises that Gilbert is only interested in Hyatt’s money for business deals, and not in her personality.

A limo pulls up and Missy springs out. Tatum makes her assure the home audience that nothing is wrong with their relationship and Eddie Gilbert and her are “strictly business”. They prepare to leave when Gilbert pops out of the limo. Even a dunce like Tatum thinks this is fishy, but Hyatt assures him they were merely talking business. Both men gently shove the other in an effort to sit next to Hyatt in the limo. JR is left at the curb. Fun vignette.

The Fantastics vs. UWF tag champions Eddie Gilbert and Sting

We clip to the end as a brawl with Rogers and Sting brawl on the floor. Tatum sneaks in the ring and Fulton is blinded by a handful of powder he tosses. Gilbert scores the win off of that. So Tatum is a good soldier. I bet this leads to the favor not being returned…

UWF TV champ Terry Taylor vs. John Tatum

One week later and this is clipped to near the end as Tatum is in control of the situation but Gilbert comes down and hangs out next to Missy. Tatum fails to win the title despite scoring several near falls. The men trade punches as Taylor mounts his comeback. Taylor hits a suplex but misses a crossbody and ends crashing his throat on the top rope. Taylor hits the flying forearm but Hyatt runs in. Taylor and the ref are distracted, allowing Tatum to catch Taylor with a flying knee. Hyatt takes a bump off that as well. The ref checks on Hyatt as Gilbert sneaks in the ring with a handful of powder. Gilbert tries to blind Taylor with it but Tatum is blinded instead. Taylor snags the pin off of that. Hyatt is pissed at both of her charges after that blunder. Good sensible storytelling to keep feeding the angle.

Valet for a Day Match:

The Missing Link vs. “Hollywood” John Tatum

The winner will get their opponent’s valet for 24 hours. Link goes on the attack right away, using his head to send Tatum staggering. Hyatt cracks Link with her purse, giving Tatum control briefly. Gilbert tries to leap into the action from the top rope, but Dark Journey pushes him off into Tatum. Link gets the pin after that. Surprisingly quick match.

Hyatt argues with Tatum and Gilbert. Tatum ends up smacking Gilbert. They brawl until Sting runs in and attacks Tatum. Jack Victory runs in and evens the odds. A four-way brawl ensues briefly. Hyatt is torn between the two men, but ultimately chooses to stay with Tatum as they walk off together. Good facials from everyone with that post match angle.

Tatum and Hyatt promo

Hyatt is horrified by what Dark Journey’s potential plans for her. Tatum storms off. Hyatt talks about re-unifying Gilbert and his men with Tatum and John screams from off camera about how they don’t need them. Hyatt then tries to butter up Ross so he won’t bring cameras to the scene where Dark Journey will have Hyatt at her beck and call. When he refuses her come-ons, she pouts and storms off.

UWF tag champions The Fantastics vs. Jack Tatum and Jack Victory

Fulton out shines both heels as they take turns attempting to best the champion. Rogers comes in and the Fantastics double team both heels and send them into retreat. The heels have no luck over the first several minutes as the Fantastics use their speed to leave the heels baffled.

We come back from a commercial to see Fulton being sent into the railing and the ringpost to firmly place him in the face-in-peril spot. The heels double-team him back in the ring to keep control. Rogers makes the hot tag after a few minutes and this segues right into all four men battling in the ring. Eddie Gilbert uses the mayhem as his opening to bring Hyatt a bouquet of roses. Hyatt tries to decide whether or not to follow Gilbert to the back. Tatum gets wind of what is going on and he starts to mouth off to Gilbert. This allows Rogers the chance to score the roll up pin after eight minutes or so of action.

Gilbert and Hyatt almost walk away, but Victory and Tatum confront them. Gilbert is dragged in the ring and the men prepare to attack him. This draws in Rick Steiner and Sting to save him. Hyatt cracks Tatum with her Gucci bag to hammer home the point that they are through. This story is building and twisting each week ever so slightly.

Awards Ceremony

Dark Journey was voted by fans as the top woman personality in the UWF for 1986. Before she can say anything about the honor, Eddie Gilbert and Missy Hyatt run in and smash her flowers. Dark Journey scurries away.

John Tatum vs. Eddie Gilbert

Later in the same show as the Awards Ceremony. Tatum storms the ring and starts throwing punches right away. Gilbert strikes back with blows of his own. Gilbert takes control and enjoys rocking Tatum with a stiff clothesline, The momentum changes back as Tatum hits a suplex. Things break down after only about four minutes as Dark Journey runs down and attacks Hyatt. Hyatt and Gilbert both hit Journey with Hyatt’s loaded purse. Gilbert paints her yellow before Iceman Parsons and the Missing Link run in to make the save.

Eddie Gilbert’s Contest

Gilbert does an in-ring promo. He reveals a self portrait while running down the local women as illiterate. Nonetheless, he plans on awarding the picture to some lucky lady who sends him the best letter. Gilbert announces he is no longer from Kentucky, but from “Every woman’s dream”.

The Contest – part two:

Gilbert is back in the ring, this time with Sir Oliver Humperdink in tow. Gilbert claims 100,000 letters have already poured in. The UWF is forcing him to end the contest next week.

The Contest – part three

A new week sees Humperdink and Gilbert back in the ring. This time JR is interviewing them. Gilbert announces that the portrait was stolen in the past week. He offers five grand to anyone who can locate his portrait. Porkchop Cash, dressed like a Blues Brother, complete with “Soul Man” music, comes down. Cash wonders who would want that “honky” picture. He promises he’ll get to the bottom of this and does a ridiculous dance as his music plays.

His partner, Mad Dog Boyd, comes down to ringside and they reveal they have the portrait. They admit to stealing the portrait.  Gilbert refuses to pay them since they committed the crime. They bust the portrait over his head and dance away. Without more context, that seemed like a lot of effort to go through just to start a feud with a goofy tag team. From what I can see on the results pages online, the feud went nowhere fast.

Koko B. Ware and Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Sting and Korstia Korchenko

This is clipped to the end as Blade Runner Rock (The Ultimate Warrior) comes down and helps attack the faces. Duggan is battered as Gilbert orders his men to drape the USSR flag over Hacksaw’s prone body. Dr. Death runs in to try and make the save, but the four-on-one odds are too great. The heels tease covering him with the Russian flag, and Watts notes on commentary that they’ll have to kill Steve Williams first. Skandor Akbar appears and the heels hold Doc up for what appears to be a fireball assault. Duggan runs in with a chair and blocks the flames. He then clears the ring with his weapon. Korstia was horrid and the Blade Runners were green as hell. Despite the jingoism making the angle work, the actual ring action leaves much to be desired.

Russian Flag Debate

Bill Watts, acting as UWF president, warns Gilbert that the Russian flag will no longer be allowed to be placed on anyone or else. Sting and Warrior join Korchenko and Gilbert in the ring. Watts warns the men that an ambush will lead to their termination. Dr. Death, still fuming about the prior attack, storms down. Watts and a horde of refs try to keep the peace. Watts then cheap shots Koritsia. “HE HATES RUSSIANS!” screams Ross. Oh, I guess it’s ok then. All the heels feed themselves to Watts and fly from his punches. Watts is great, but it does look a bit silly for all the monster heels to be taken down by the old, chubby, bald man. Dibiase runs in to aid AMERICA. The heels flee. Fun angle.

Watts’ Gym

Bill Watts cuts a heated promo from his home gym. He hollers about how Dr. Death squared off with a Russian in his NCAA days, and just the look in Doc’s eyes made the Russian forfeit. The Commie cowards are attacking Afghanistan, home of an antiquated military full of donkey carts. As long as Watts has blood in his heart no one is going to put one over on him. Watts retired a while ago but he plans to FIGHT, and things are going to be quick and brutal when Watts meets up with Gilbert’s men. Sign me up for more Watts promos!!!

Perry Jackson vs. Rick Steiner

Buzz Sawyer is with Steiner. Before the match can began, Eddie Gilbert shows up with the Russian flag. Gilbert says he realizes that he should not be supporting Communism as he himself is an American. He asks for Watts to come down so they can make amends. Eddie’s father comes down and convinces him to leave the ring.

We fast forward a few minutes and Gilbert returns to the ring. Gilbert throws down the Russian flag and again asks Watts to join him in the ring. He gives Watts props for being a real man as Bill makes his way to the ring. Gilbert apologizes for putting his own finances ahead of the country. Watts suggests that they signify Gilbert denouncing Russia by burning the USSR flag.

The Blade Runners come down to ringside. Watts perks up, but Gilbert assures him that they are only his henchmen, and no longer have ties to Korchenko or Russia. Ivan and Nikita Koloff suddenly run in with Koritsia. Ivan wraps a chain around Watts’ neck as Gilbert busts him open with the flag pole. The Russians whip him with their chain while stomping Watts down. Dibiase and Doc attempt to save the day but run into the Blade Runners. The crowd is losing their shit.

The Russian flag is placed on Watts as he lay battered. Doc, Dibiase and Duggan finally break through and save the day. The heels walk off triumphantly as Erik and Joel Watts come in and check on their Daddy. FANTASTIC ANGLE!

JR shows us clips of Watts running in the ring later on that same taping. Watts chases the heels with a baseball bat. Ross promises Dusty Rhodes and others will be coming to aide Watts in his war with Gilbert and his men. In truth, the Koloffs never stayed for any matches except for a card in Houston and a Superdome card where Watts, Rhodes and Dr.Death took on Korchenko and the Koloffs. The feud was then dramatically changed right after as….

Bill Watts vs. Sting

Eddie Gilbert cuts an in-ring promo. He reveals that Watts has attacked Blade Runner Rock and Korchenko in the past few weeks and put them out of action. Watts comes down to “Born in the USA”. If Watts wins, he gets Gilbert for 5 minutes. Watts promises to injure Sting and then Gilbert will be all alone. Watts downs Sting with a shoulder block. He then ties Sting in the ropes and runs into him with several shoulder blows. Watts powerslams Sting and beats him with ease. WOW. Watts had to look strong to build to tag matches with the top heels, but Sting got nothing here. Hard to believe he wasn’t leaving the territory the way he got taken out here.

Gilbert is grabbed by Watts and assaulted with punches. Gilbert blades. After using his belt for a few shots on Gilbert, Sting and the Fabulous Freebirds run in and beat Watts down four-on-one. Chavo Guerrero, Duggan, Taylor and others run in to save Watts. They all surround the motionless Watts.

It’s really bizarre to run such a hot angle such as the Russian flag one and then turn around and blow it off in a matter of weeks, only to transition the heat to the Freebirds.

Final thoughts: This all was a hell of a lot of fun to watch unfold. For the guff I gave Watts, I understand that the endgame was showing that the legend still had it. Plus the Missy Hyatt angle was entertaining as well. This was probably the best of the three DVDs.

Written by Andrew Lutzke

The grumpy old man of culturecrossfire.com, lover of wrasslin' and true crimes.

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