From the WWF Network: Wrestling’s Tough Guys

Badasses, steroid monkeys and even some Bushwackers collide to determine who’s the best!

Sean Mooney and “Lord” Alfred Hayes are our hosts. Mooney is in the (then) new Hulk Hogan shirt and does a silly bit about his muscles. Judging by the intro verbiage, “tough guys” equals one who pumps up with steroids. That sounds about right for the “era of excess”.

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov

Mooney and Hayes call the action. Nikolai Volkoff joins his tag partner at ringside. Hayes hilariously says Duggan has “not an ounce of fat on him” just as Duggan bends over and we see his belly drape over his tights.

We get stalling to start as Duggan plays with his 2×4. Once we get going, Duggan scores with his fists, but a headbutt proves faulty as Zhukov’s skull is too hard. Zhukov goes right for rest holds for his heat. Headlock. Bearhug. EXCITING! Bore-us Zhukov?

Duggan rallies and hits a series of clotheslines. Volkoff distracts Duggan, then the ref and Duggan argue as Volkoff slides his 2×4 to Boris. Zhukov is still dazed, so Duggan grabs the board, cracks Boris and makes the pin. This was fine for an easy cheap heat low card match.

“Rugged” Ronnie Garvin vs. Haku

I’d pay to see a shoot fight with these two. They square off in very much wary battle stance. Haku tries for a handshake with Garvin. He then shakes Heenan’s hand, which made me smile. The men trade stiff chops and headbutts as this match offers flashes of the awesome potential these two unleashing on one another could provide.

The fisticuffs trading continues, along with more HARD chops. Ric Flair and Wahoo McDaniel approve.   The fans don’t react much to the hard blows, but squeal for some face biting. The men spill to the floor and whack at one another until both are counted out. These guys teased something awesome, but the WWF in 1989 was not going to be the place for this match to reach it’s potential. The camerawork was surprisingly bad at times too, with jump cuts causing us to miss several moves, including the final high spot when Haku charged at Garvin on the floor, only to run into the ring post.

The Bushwackers vs. The Powers of Pain

This horrible, horrible match appeared on “SuperTape 1”. Why on Earth they felt the need to repeat it on here, when they had hundreds of matches on tape they could show instead is beyond me. We get a lot of stalling, a lot of goofing around and a lot of Wacking of Bushes….Ugh.

Hercules vs. Akeem

This match is also taken from a previous release, SuperTape 2. I’m annoyed with the WWF for putting so little effort into some of these releases back in the day. They had so much video readily available in their archive and chose to take this route. This match was fun for what it was though.

Tito Santana vs. Dino Bravo

Santana seems to perhaps be favoring his leg, as his entrance seems a bit slower than normal. He is wearing his Strike Force tights, so maybe he was just too depressed thinking about Rick Martel turning on him to show more enthusiasm in his entrance.

Bravo is upset that the fans are cheering for Santana, so he takes a walk. They trade some basics once things get going, with Santana out classing Bravo. This causes Bravo to go to the floor for another time-out.

Monsoon explains that Bravo used to be technically graceful, but then added 80 pounds of muscle to his frame. (And now he SUCKS!)  Santana controls with arm work as the announcers marvel at Bravo’s mass.

Bravo catches Santana attempting a monkey flip and dumps him on his coccyx. Bravo locks on a chin lock, and to his credit Monsoon does his best to put over the move as a spine bending torture hold, instead of a move resigned to let Bravo suck wind.  (Because he SUCKS!) A bear hug follows. Monsoon rips on the execution of the hold, as he tends to do while on commentary. Santana breaks free and gets in a few moves that rattle Bravo. Santana attempts a flying forearm, but he runs into a side slam and is pinned. My disdain for Bravo continues.

We close with a reveal that Mooney attempted to tangle with some guys at the gym and wound up bandaged and bruised.

Final thoughts: Give me more Haku vs Garvin! This otherwise was not worth viewing in the least.

 

Written by Andrew Lutzke

The grumpy old man of culturecrossfire.com, lover of wrasslin' and true crimes.

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