Kayfabe, Lies and Alibis: Breaking Kayfabe with Kevin Nash

Presented by Kayfabe Commentaries

Hosted by Sean Oliver

This series is designed to mostly skip the wrestling BS and get into more personal questions with the guest.

Nash talks about getting a spot in “Magic Mike” and the WWE Hall of Fame over the course of the past year.

When asked how he’s maintained his marriage for nearly 30 years in a business full of divorces, Nash credits true love in the face of his infidelity. His wife loved Nash before he was ever in the business.

Nash had a blue collar Detroit upbringing and it has driven him throughout his life.

As a kid Nash was 6-8 and 180 pounds. The self awareness of being a lanky, awkward teen still sticks inside of him.

The WWF road life in the 90’s was rough. Nash admits he’s exhausted just watching the guys work now.

Oliver jumps to Nash’s kid. Fertility was an issue, so they went to a clinic. Nash jokes about the gross stained porn he was suppose to use. He asked if his wife can get him off in the cup instead. He claims it took him 45 minutes to get a sample and jokes about the walk of shame to hand the specimen to the nurse. Do you shake hands after doing….that?

Nash wasn’t the issue, and eventually his son Tristan was born.

Kevin came from an era where dad’s didn’t play with their kids.

WCW came calling right as he became a daddy and they gave him plenty of days off to be with his family.

The road still comes calling to this day and Nash ends up traveling over half the month most of the time.

His wife was not a fan of wrestling. Nash kept his wife away from business because she would see the life of sex and drugs wrestlers keep.

During a recent Christmas Eve Nash’s now grown son got bombed on booze and went wild when he came home. Nash tried to calm him down and things escalated physically. Nash grabbed him in a bearhug and his son tried to rip out his father’s eye, just as Kevin had taught him to do when getting into a fight. Nash did his best to labor his son’s breathing in order to calm him down.

Nash’s wife called the cops to have them help settle Tristan down. Nash ended up arrested instead.  He told the cops right away that they fucked up and he’s going to have their badges.

The cop finally realized it was Nash’s house and the cop freaked out and started to use his personal cell phone to cover his ass. The cops wrote up several different incident reports as they tried to make it sound like they didn’t screw up the arrest, but their superior kept sending the forms back.

Once Nash ended up in jail, the cops began to act much nicer to him.

As they got out and went home in separate cars, Nash and his son joked via text over the shitty jail food.

WWE fired Nash as soon as the news got out about the family fight.

Kevin wanted to put camos on and walk around on his balconies with a gun – just to rile up the press that were stationed outside his house.

WWE is corporate now, not wrasslin’ so things like Nash’s arrest and Hogan’s racist rant have to be dealt with harshly. Nash thinks Hogan should have been allowed a period of “sensitivity training” and such to make good on his deeds. That would allow Hulk to remain on as a brand name superstar.

Nash thinks taking Hogan out of the Hall of Fame was entirely too extreme. The guys joke about Hogan bringing in Mr. T and coming to RAW to show his love of other races.

Scott Hall went to rehab a million times and often the group therapy sessions only led to Hall realizing he’s not nearly as fucked up as other people and it hurt his recovery.

Nash’s kid went to rehab. They tried to charge Kevin 1500 dollars for a 75 dollar piss test because of the way they label an out patient case vs. getting it done via a rehab center. He called the leader of the rehab center and threatened to charge him with fraud and suddenly all the bills disappeared.

Kevin’s dad died young and many of the other Nash’s died young, so Nash keeps a steady schedule of medical tests for his heart to keep himself alive and well.

A doctor misidentified that Nash had a heart attack. After spending the night in the cardiac unit, it turns out Nash is in great shape.

After his dad died, the Nash family went through some hard times and it proved to be embarrassing for Nash as he was poor and had to go to school to be mocked. He had nothing to tell kids about as far as receiving Christmas gifts and such.

Nash developed into an agnostic at an early age. His son explained to him one day how Michelangelo’s painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is actually a hidden message that God only exists in man’s mind.

Nash jokingly asks why none of the Popes have looked at Adam’s (of Adam and Eve) navel and just said “Can we get a fucking paintbrush and get rid of that thing?”

We abruptly jump to the Kliq talk. Nash explains that having five buddies together as a unit created a safety net for them and allowed the Kliq to get Vince McMahon to do their bidding.

You can’t get power unless you produced results. Sean points out that by putting over themselves they perpetuated their own value on top.

Kevin is writing a screenplay based on life as a Kliq member. Mickey Rourke’s The Wrestler would have been much better had they shown the high life he lived as a star in order to put over how far he fell when he was stuck working the indies.

As a 56 year-old man, Nash feels a lot of pain and hates sleeping in hotel beds compared to his special bed at home.

Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible) was never in the Kliq but Louie Spicolli (Rad Radford) was.

Nash and Waltman remain incredibly tight. They call and talk often.

HHH and Nash see each other less, but when they do, it’s still a long, deep conversation. They talk family, not wrestling.

Vince McMahon is admired by Nash and Vince loves Nash to this day. Shawn Michaels was a true pain in the ass to Vince in the 90’s.  Shawn would fight, Nash would just let Vince scream.

The promoters have all the power, so being able to jump ship to WCW for a boatload of cash was the only way to one-up Vince.

Scott Hall alerted Nash in the shower one day that he was jumping to WCW. A few weeks later Nash was facing Bret Hart at In Your House for the World title. Nash wanted to powerbomb Bret to set up the Undertaker interfering and ruining Nash’s shot (and build more to Taker/Nash at Mania) Hart refused because he didn’t want to look that weak. Nash tried a power play and was shot down. Not getting his way at that moment was when Nash decided he was going to seek a WCW contract as well.

To this day, Nash isn’t sure that jumping to WCW and leaving Vince and the WWF family was the right choice. Nash’s wife was pregnant and basically demanded he go to WCW’s much lighter schedule.

The WWF had a very unpredictable pay schedule, which meant the guys had to take draws from their eventual paychecks in order to pay bills at home. It would take three months to find out what kind of PPV payday you were getting. This led to Nash being very stingy with his money and he in fact still drives the vehicle he picked up new in 1993.

If you’re a wrestler you must be nice to the fans. The kids bring the parents (and the money) to the show. Be sure to kiss up to the parents because they are the ones with the cash and they might be swayed to buy your merchandise later.

Nash tries to tell the indy geeks today how to preserve their bodies and not do stupid spots.

Drinking wine while watching a great film is Kevin’s idea of paradise.

The guys talk about film editing and how far it has come since only a few decades ago.

Drugs were being used daily by Nash, but he says he was never addicted. After one bad night with too many somas…Nash just quit.

In 1981 Nash destroyed his knee playing basketball, then in wrestling he hurt, tore or broke a great many other body parts and that led to using somas to quell the pain.

Nash broke his neck but didn’t have it fixed. This led to nerve damage and muscle failure in his arm.

The WCW luchadores were bringing huge stashes of somas in the U.S. with them. The quality of the drug inconsistent so some nights you basically O.D’d and other times you had no buzz.

Shawn and Nash would take somas before working with one another. When the pills kicked in, they knew it was time to finish the match.

They go on a sidetrack about Nash’s basketball games. I don’t find this portion interesting. Nash struck his coach and got kicked off the team.

Wrestling has evolved just like everything else in entertainment. Nash watched Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks have a great match in NXT and they worked a whole different style than the WWE’s big move-big move-big move-kick out-kick out-kick out style.

RAW needs more wrestling. Every week is full of lots of talking. The WWE doesn’t have competition and thus aren’t challenged to change.

Nash thinks the WWE Network should have a one hour Friday night show that is raunchy and violent. The shareholders prevent the creative team from doing such things though.

The 3 hour length of RAW is also a killer. How many other shows on TV expect you to sit down for that long each week?

Seth Rollins is incredible. Kevin Owens and John Cena had a fantastic angle. Why not either let wrestlers wrestle and if you need promos, make them heated?

The WWE have a guy who keeps track of how much time each race gets on screen in case a lawsuit is ever raised. The suits are thrilled with Roman Reigns because he’s not caucasian and yet they feel they can push him to the moon.

Nash doesn’t care about his legacy because it’s only wrestling. Who cares? Kevin wants to be remembered as a guy who helped others get rich by helping spark a wrestling war.

In the mid-80’s a specialist told Nash his days as an athlete were over. Nash got a 25-year wrestling career despite basically having one leg that was useless.

R&B and classic rock is all Nash listens to. His DVR is full of House Hunters, Empire, Tyrant, Homeland, Veep, Game of Thrones, Modern Family and Nashville.

If a movie were made on his life Gene Hackman or Ernest Borgnine would play Nash.

Red wine means you have to have red meat.

McDonald’s double cheeseburger is his cheat meal.

Masturbation is a guilty pleasure. Sean won’t take that answer. Massage? No… Finally he gets Nash to say he wishes he could have spent time as George Michael in his prime.

The mail kept being stolen, so Nash just knocked his mailbox over with a sledge hammer and started picking his mail up directly.

Jesus is Nash’s pick for a dinner date. He wants to ask why God didn’t clue him into why he was forsaken. Sean says “It’s a fairy tale…an angle….Jesus is over as fuck! Look how long this storyline has lasted.”

Joel Osteen was robbed on a random September Sunday after service. He lost $600,000 from donations on that day alone.   Nash wants to do a Jesus hologram and take it town to town to rake in donations.

Spiders must DIE.

Kevin wishes he had been a doctor.

St. Peter is going to tell Nash to be Heaven’s bouncer.

Despite being very well off, Nash can’t shake his poor roots and feels he has to work whenever possible. He wants to paint, write movies, and maybe a book. He can’t write a real biography because all his friends were wild and he can’t work around all the sex, drugs and craziness and still have a true narrative of his life. Ruining his buddies marriages isn’t worth it.

Women are taking over the world. Ronda Rousey. The NXT Divas and soon to be Hillary. Trump is showing the GOP are a bunch of fools.

Final thoughts: I have a true love/hate relationship with Kevin Nash. I generally can’t stand to watch his often zero effort work rate, but I am often mesmerized by his shoots as the man has the gift of gab. This video is no different as Nash gives us a glimpse into his personal side and tells us the truth as he sees it. Well worth the watch.

 

Written by Andrew Lutzke

The grumpy old man of culturecrossfire.com, lover of wrasslin' and true crimes.

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