Hi folks! Welcome to your favorite Monday tradition that’s back on a Monday. 2014’s been a whirlwind, folks. It’s already almost May. It seems like just yesterday we were ringing in the New Year and talking about what the hell the WWE Network is going to be about. Anyway, I don’t want to waste any more of your precious time! We got two title matches on the show this week.
The show opens with Frankie Flow pumping iron in the ECPW Training School. Frankie says he doesn’t care if Andrew Anderson is going to WrestleCon in New Orleans this year, he’s gonna take Anderson’s ECPW World Title on March 21st. That kind of dates this show! Also that’s a weird way to berate somebody by saying they’re at WrestleCon. “I don’t care if you’re signing autographs right next to Lena Yada and Van Hammer! That doesn’t make you better than me!!!”
Andrew Anderson responds by telling Frankie Flow to mind his own business and focus on settling his feud with Junior Flow because trying to win the ECPW World title is a lost cause. This is the only reference to the Frankie Flow/Junior Flow/Bandido Jr feud all show, which is weird because the last few months have been centered around that feud (and the show prominently features one of the guys in the feud)
We go down to “ringside” where Joey G and Ken Reedy hype up Anderson and Frankie Flow’s ECPW Title match. In addition to that, we’ll be opening up with the television debut of Aaron Bradley, a recent graduate of the ECPW Training School.
“The German Menace” Kraig Stagg (with Doug DeVito) Vs Aaron Bradley
I know this is Bradley’s debut but I’m not sure if I’ve seen Stagg either. His gimmick seems kind of redundant since we already have one German heel in Josef Von Schmidt but whatever. Stagg wears a yellow and black singlet and vaguely resembles a cross between Ivan Koloff and Barry Darsow circa the mid to late ’90s. This match is a total squash with Stagg throwing Bradley all over the ring. At one point, Stagg grabs Bradley’s arms and does the Heil Hitler salute a few times which thankfully, the announcers totally ignore and just move on from it. I thought this was going to lead to a 123 Kid over Razor Ramon type fluke upset for Bradley but it was just a squash victory for Stagg. Weird. Stagg has a cool finisher where he lifts Bradley up like he’s going to press slam him then he sets him down on his feet and spears him. D I guess them hyping Bradley up was just to make this match seem less predictable since Bradley’s look just screamed greenhorn jobber.
After the match, the announcers bury Bradley and say that’s the last we’ve seen of him. Huh. I don’t know what the point of that was. Unless, they really are doing the Kid gimmick and he’ll be coming back to job a few more times and eventually get the fluke upset.
ECPW Television Title: Crazy Ivan (c) (with Doug DeVito) Vs Sonny Kiss
It’s a clash of over the top gimmicks. It’s the mental patient heel Vs the flamboyant twerking babyface. The announcers do a pretty good job of hyping up DeVito trying to coach his guys and go 3 for 3 tonight. Ivan’s “entrance music” is just a siren going off. For the first time, I’m glad that the sound on this show is only semi-audible. Lot of mugging and stalling to start. A big “Twerk” chant from the crowd and Kiss obliges by shaking what his mother gave him. Kiss slaps Ivan and DeVito’s ass. Yeesh! Usually, the homoerotic aspects of pro wrestling are slightly more subtle than this. We also get a couple closeups of Kiss’ ass shaking in his short shorts. Pro Wrestling: It’s for the kids! Kiss eventually plays to the fans too much and this match turns into an extended squash with Ivan beating the crap out of him. This match is a total styles clash so it kind of makes sense for it to be a squash. Ivan ALSO has a sweet finisher. He hits Kiss with a lariat and then as Kiss is stumbling back, he grabs him and drives his back into his knee. Sort of a poor man’s version of Bray Wyatt’s Sister Abigal finisher. C- Even though, this match wasn’t very good, I liked the booking of it and it’s how I would have done this match. Kiss was the fun but green mid-card babyface who was just out of his depths (and played to the crowd too much) against a reckless lunatic. Announcers also did a good and understated job of selling this story TOO MUCH TIME TWERKING, NOT ENOUGH TIME RASSLIN.
ECPW World Title: “The Re-Enforcer” Andrew Anderson (c) (with Doug DeVito) Vs Frankie Flow
This is the second match in a row where a heel (and Doug DeVito) ripped up some kids’ signs. Looks like a little bit of Memphis has come to New Jersey. Anderson also does a Kamala-esque belly slap to himself for some reason. He’s primed and ready for WrestleCon but he’s got to go through Frankie Flow first. This is another match where we see the first two or three minutes of it, cut to commercial then cut to the last two or three minutes of it. I kind of get a good sense of this match though with what I see. This match is very slow (both of these guys are in their forties) but fairly well worked. My only knock on it is for a power match, both guys seemed to be working too light but whatever. I’m not exactly expecting Finlay-Regal! Anderson wins with a back body drop after DeVito distracts Flow. C I’m surprised Flow’s Title Shot was treated with no buildup and kind of nonchalantly considering how much TV time they’ve dedicated to him.
Anyway, you remember a few weeks back when I said the downside of a half hour show is that you can only include a limited number of guys on each episode and have to have an episode occasionally where you have to remind everybody that certain guys on the roster still exist. This week was one of those episodes! After focusing on Vincent Valentine’s stable of weirdos, they wanted to remind us that Doug DeVito’s actually the guy who manages multiple champions in ECPW. You know, if any of the powers that be at ECPW On Fire are reading this, I’d like to suggest a Crazy Ivan Vs Luka The Sideshow Freak match. I think it’s a wacky enough idea to work.
Maybe somebody from there IS reading this. A few weeks back, they were hyping up a tour of my great, home state of Maine in May. Well, May is five days away and I still haven’t heard anything about it and it wasn’t mentioned in the last two episodes. I haven’t seen live ECPW On Fire/WOF action in almost four years. Ah well. I don’t like leaving the house anyway. That’s it for another episode. Remember, April Showers may bring May Flowers but no matter what the month is, you must never feed your dogs chocolate! Thanks everybody for reading! Conn Man OUT!