Somebody Call 911! Connor is Watching ECPW On Fire (5-10-14)


Hello everybody! I’ll start off with a belated Happy Mother’s Day to everybody. Here in the great state of Maine, the weather’s finally heated up enough to melt that last pile of snow in my backyard. I’m in a great mood this weekend. Today’s show is jam packed. Four matches crammed into a twenty two-ish (maybe more? They don’t really have many commercials on this) Will it  enhance or ruin that mood? Read on to find out.


Sonny Kiss Vs Mr. Thursday Night

Our show opens with a guy that’s quickly rising up the ECPW On Fire ranks, everyone’s favorite flamboyant, twerking babyface, Sonny Kiss! He’s facing grizzled veteran Mr. Thursday Night. I’ve seen Mr. Thursday Night on this show about 3 or 4 times now and I have no idea what the gimmick is. My best guess is he aspires to wrestle for TNA maybe? But nobody wants to wrestle for TNA in 2014! Speaking of Impact Wrestling, Mr. Thursday Night kind of looks like he could be a scuzzy older cousin of EC3.

Anyway, this isn’t a review of Impact Wrestling… Color commentator Ken Reedy accuses Kiss of raiding Mr. Thursday Night’s underwear closet. Reedy then calls out Kiss for being more interested in dancin’ than rasslin. Like last week’s match involving Sonny Kiss, this match is an awkward styles clash. Kiss doesn’t seem like he knows quite how to work with a heavyweight like MTN and Mr. Thursday Night doesn’t see like he knows how to work with a little guy like Kiss and the match just seems stilted. Kiss has displayed some great athleticism and his character is unique and has quickly made him one of the most popular guys on the roster but he needs a lot of polish before he can reach the top of the card, even in a promotion as small as this.  Anyway, finish comes when Kiss goes for a sunset flip, Mr. Thursday Night grabs the ropes to block and pin him, referee kicks Thursday’s hands off the ropes and Kiss finally pins MTN with one of the worst/most awkward sunset flips I’ve ever seen. D+ After the match, a kid in the crowd does Sonny Kiss’ butt smacking/twerking taunt. WHERE ARE THESE KIDS’ PARENTS!?


When we get back from break, we see Kenny Bengal in the ring, mid-promo. Haven’t seen this guy in a while and I think only once or twice overall. He’s trash talking some fans and issues an OPEN CHALLENGE to anyone in the building. Some elderly man takes off his jacket and looks like he’s about to get in the ring. C’mon! Dang. Kenny Bengal moves on to trash talking some kids in the crowd before settling on a dude in a long coat with an ugly haircut. Bengal calls him out and the fans go wild. Announcers point out this guy is Mike 3D (not 100% sure on the first name…again, audio issues this week), ECPW Superfan! Mike 3D reluctantly accepts the challenge. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he’s the only guy in the crowd wearing ringboots and wrist tape.

Kenny Bengal Vs Mike 3D

Mike 3D is the second guy tonight who has a character name that doesn’t make much sense to me! Although he wears camo shorts that remind me of the ring gear the Dudleys wore in the early ’00s so maybe he’s just a huge fan of Bubba Ray and D’Von. Fans are already chanting for him which makes me think he wrestles for another indy in the area maybe. Or he’s just a really cool dude to hang out with at a wrestling show, I guess. They have a short, back and forth match with 3D dominating by overpowering Bengal. It seems like 3D will pick up the upset win but Bengals wins via sneaky heel cheating with a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Heh. I was just going to comment on how rare it is to see a heel actually win an open challenge. And then a heel won an open challenge. Match was fine. Wouldn’t mind seeing these guys again on here. C+

Frankie Flow Vs Junior Flow

I immediately thought something was up because they’ve been hyping the possibility of father and son wrestling for months now and it seemed odd that they’d just throw out on a show randomly with little hype. My Connor signal is working well as Junior Flow leaves ringside before the match even started. Reedy and Joey G think that Junior Flow must have had a change of heart and realized that he didn’t want to fight his dear old dad.

We get a commercial break. Afterward, Joey G gets a word with Frankie Flow and they both seem to be relieved that Junior had a change of heart and maybe he’s showed he finally has a conscience. But wait a minute! Here comes Junior Flow again! And he beats the hell out of his pops with a leather belt, choking him and whipping him with it. The referee immediately calls for the bell. I guess Junior Flow has been disqualified (either that or the match is just a no-contest since I don’t think the bell rang a first time?). Flow beats his dad senselessly as Joey G screams in horror. “THAT’S YOUR FATH-UH,  JUNE-YAH! HE GAVE YOU LIFE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!?” Sometimes, I like Joey G being the Italian-American JR and this is one of those times. Looks like this rivalry has only just begun. Match is an Incomplete but I give the segment an A-. Got to give props to Junior Flow, who has really been impressing me the past few weeks. He’s really developing into a great, little chickenshit heel. Frankie Flow’s done a good job during a lot of these segments too. This is a feud that could have very easily been botched (and it almost looked like it was a few times) and seemed over the top, over-sentimental, and hokey but they’ve been doing a surprisingly good job with it. Props to these guys as well as whoever puts these shows together.

ECPW Television Title: Crazy Ivan (c) (with Doug DeVito) Vs Tony Vega

Crazy Ivan channels the WCW Television Champs of yesteryear and defends his belt for the second week in a row. He’s facing the 2013 ECPW Rookie of the Year Tony Vega. Ivan jumps Vega before the bell and they brawl around ringside. Announcers put over Ivan as the “King of the Prison Yard Brawl”. I kind of zone out during this one. Apparently, the announcers do too because I’m jarred to attention during a brief discussion of necrophilia. HEY! What do you think this is? 2002 WWF? I thought this was a family friendly show! Anyway, this is a very similar story to the TV Title match last week. Rookie babyface shows a surprising amount of pluck but Ivan’s too crazy/experienced and retains the title with his  nifty lariat/backbreaker finisher. C


And that’s it for the show this week! Well, we had one really good segment to make up for the other three forgettable ones. I’m looking forward to seeing the Junior/Frankie feud develop in the coming weeks and months. Another Happy Belated Mother’s Day to everybody! And remember in the coming weeks, you’ll be going to a lot of graduation parties where there will be much revelry and celebration but remember, no matter if you have a diploma or not, you should always know to never feed your dogs chocolate! Thanks for reading, everybody. Conn Man out!


Written by Connor McGrath

Connor McGrath is a public access television show host and part-time amateur comedian, who resides in Portland, Maine. He contributes reviews of Northeast independent wrestling promotion, NWA On Fire along with occasional guest articles.

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