Somebody Call 911! Connor is Watching Wrestling On Fire (10-19-13)

We start with the WOF opening credits. Even though they’re only a few months old, they seem kind of outdated although I think they’ve at least edited out Da House Party.

Our host this week is Mario Savodli Jr, who is filling in for Ken Reedy, Ray Ray Marz, and Tommy Savoldi. Great. We’ve got a fourth string host. Savoldi has Charlie Minn levels of false enthusiasm as he sells the main event between ECPW owner Gino Caruso and Andrew Anderson.

We go to ringside for a promo from The Conn Man. No, I’m not on the company payroll all of a sudden. It’s WOF Official Bob Conn. I got to say Bob Conn might be the least charismatic authority figure I’ve ever seen. He makes John Lauranitis look like Vince McMahon at his hammiest. Except Conn is supposed to be a babyface. His promo delivery has all of the excitement of your neighbor describing his trip to Applebees with his wife and mother-in-law last weekend. The Conn Man goes over the story of the WOF Title being held up and the ECPW/WOF Merger for the zillionth time and mentions that the first match in the tournament will be our main event tonight between Caruso and Anderson.

Conn introduces Caruso, who puts over the ECPW/WOF merger as being what’s best for busi—er, wrong company—the fans. Mr. Italy then talks in disgust about Anderson’s attack of Ken Reedy. Ken Reedy hobbles into the ring on crutches. Reedy’s trying to look in pain but somehow, his facial expression reads more “vaguely embarrassed” than in excruciating pain. Caruso says Ken Reedy is going to be in his corner for the main event.

Speaking of embarrassing, the next segment is an incredibly dopey montage showing Reedy’s “recovery” from the attack, complete with close ups of the x-rays of Reedy’s “injured knee” and Reedy walking around on crutches outside of a hospital and moping.

Back in the studio, Reedy is on his cellphone, talking about how he’s afraid Andrew Anderson might murder him. Charlie Savoldi wanders in and tries to calm him down and assure him that won’t happen.

Andrew Anderson (with Doug DeVito)  Vs Gino Caruso (with Ken Reedy) 

Anderson wears a shirt that says “I Broke Ken Reedy’s Leg”. As dopey as this storyline is, there are a few ECPW fans that are really, really into it. There’s one guy screaming, red faced, at Anderson. I get a laugh when Anderson sleazily tries to hit on some sixty-something woman in the front row, who’s giving him the business. Caruso is one of those guys who’s been around the Northeast indy scene for decades and decades and never really got a big break, outside of a run in the pre Extreme ECW in the early ’90s and appearing a few times as enhancement talent in mid ’90s WCW. He’s semi-retired now, mostly working behind the scene and wears a singlet that makes him look like Santino’s Dad.

 

Anderson and Caruso start off with some old man brawling around ringside. If I had more liquor at my disposable, I could do a drinking game for this episode  and do a shot every time they do a close up of Reedy looking on sadly. This match is about what I expected from a 50 something mostly retired wrestler and a forty something, somewhat out of shape wrestler. They worked around their limitations but it wasn’t pretty. Anyway, heel tomfoolery occurs as DeVito jumps on the apron and distracts the referee and we get a CLASSIC SWERVE as Reedy hands Anderson his crutch and reveals he wasn’t injured at all and was in cahoots with Anderson the whole time. WHA? Everyone in this room is now dumber for having watched this. Although, I really should have seen this coming since Reedy showed up with a goatee (which makes him look like my friend’s dad!) on this week’s show. Anderson, Reedy, and DeVito celebrate the victory with some jumping jacks (his knee wasn’t injured at all! THAT JERK!). An infuriated Caruso runs in for revenge which triggers one of the laziest locker room clearing brawls ever. Caruso challenges Anderson to a street fight at the ECPW Arena. One of the negative after effects of ECW is that any mom and pop promotion can call their home video “an arena”. Sorry,  a 75 seat American Legion Hall basement is not an arena. Anyway, none of this any sense and the in-ring action didn’t overcome the nonsensical storylines. But I can’t say our feature match wasn’t interesting so that’s something.

 

The WOF Title Tournament not only got underway but started with another fascinating train wreck. I doubt Ken Reedy: Heel Mastermind will set the wrestling world on fire but I’m still curious to see where they go with the tourney and who the heck is in it. Until next week, make sure to check your kids’ Halloween candy for razor blades and remember not to feed your dogs chocolate.

 

Written by Connor McGrath

Connor McGrath is a public access television show host and part-time amateur comedian, who resides in Portland, Maine. He contributes reviews of Northeast independent wrestling promotion, NWA On Fire along with occasional guest articles.

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