Through the Years: WWF The Main Event 5

Heading into this episode of the Main Event, there were big things going on in the WWF. The most important thing was that WrestleMania VII had to be moved from the LA Coliseum to the Sports Arena. According to the wON, there were more tickets out than seats in the Sports Arena. This was attributed to the program they were doing at the time, with Slaughter and all that. More will be explained at the end of this as well.

 

– Taped to air February 1st, 1991, from the Coliseum in Macon, Georgia

 

Ugh, pretty much immediately they showed footage from Hogan’s USO tour. Totally unnecessary on every level.

Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper are the hosts here, and Vince says that Jack Tunney will announce the WrestleMania VII main event! Sgt. Slaughter will also have his first title defense here.

 

Earthquake & Dino Bravo (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Hulk Hogan & Tugboat

Pre-Match Thoughts: Finally the feud that never ends will be over! This feud had gone on for so long, it was completely played out and unnecessary. Tugboat was garbage as well, hence my not watching this pairing at any other time. The partners of Quake and Hogan had the potential to drag this thing down a lot from whatever it is Quake and Hogan could do in a singles match, which wasn’t always much.

Match Review: Hogan and Bravo start the match, and Hogan gets pushed into the corner. Hogan gets out of that and shoves Bravo back, showcasing his strength. He backdrops Bravo and knocks Hart off the apron, and follows that with an atomic drop to Bravo, who pinballs from one opponent to the next. Tugboat tags in, and puts a wristlock on Bravo. Tugboat’s charge to the corner gets blocked, and Bravo follows with an inverted atomic drop. Quake tags in for the first time, and looks quite a bit smaller than Tugboat. Quake misses an elbow drop, so out Tugboat goes. The crowd is going crazy here, I can’t believe it. Hogan hits Quake to knock him into the ropes, and slams both Bravo and Earthquake to a massive cheer. Hogan hits Quake with a clothesline in the corner, and tags back out. They hit Quake with a double big boot, but Quake comes back with some kicks to knock Tugboat down. Tugboat gets trapped in the corner and beaten up, and Quake finally hits him with that big elbow drop for a 2 count. Bravo tags back in, drops elbows of his own, and spits at Hogan to draw him in. Quake gets in as well, and they hit Tugboat with a double clothesline. Tugboat comes back with a splash in the corner, and follows that with a big clothesline that puts Quake down. He runs the ropes again, and thanks to Hart’s distraction, Bravo hits Tugboat in the back of the head with the MEGAPHONE as we head to a commercial.

Back from the break, Quake is working over Tugboat with elbows and the like. Bravo tags in and does the same with kicks, and blocks the referee from seeing a tag. Bravo and Quake drop Tugboat with a double slam, and Quake signals for the BUTT SPLASH. He runs the ropes, and Hogan clotheslines him to stop it. Hogan makes the big tag in, hits Bravo with a big boot, and rolls him right up for the win at 8:56.

My Thoughts: I liked the finish because it wasn’t similar to any of Hogan’s usual finish. This match did suck, and I’m glad the feud is over. That’s what really matters here. All in all that makes this a positive thing, even though I’d only give this *1/4.

 

After seeing Hulk Hogan pose, it was time to run down some of the events at the Royal Rumble, specifically Randy Savage attacking the Ultimate Warrior and Sgt. Slaughter winning the WWF Championship.

 

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter (w/General Adnan) for the WWF Championship

Pre-Match Thoughts: Slaughter and Adnan have a promo before the match, in which Slaughter does make comments of a military sort, but doesn’t mention Iraq. That’s different. Hopefully Hacksaw has enough left to have a good match with Slaughter, and hopefully Slaughter bumps like a much younger man once again. No Iraqi flag brought to the ring, either. Hacksaw brings Hulk Hogan out to the ring with him wearing the American flag, I wonder if Hogan will intervene here. He was sent to the back for the match, though.

Match Review: Hacksaw gets the big USA chants going, and shoves Sarge across the ring. Sarge comes back with big punches and a choke, but gets thrown hard into the corner and knocked around by Hacksaw. Hacksaw backdrops Sarge, and follows that with a clothesline that sends Sarge over the top! Great bump by Sarge, as per usual. Hacksaw goes for a bodyslam, but Adnan trips him and Sarge falls on top for 2. Hacksaw then tries to knock Adnan around, and Adnan sets Hacksaw up for a double team, but Sarge hits Adnan on accident. Hacksaw hits Sarge with a back elbow, but the punches of the champion take over again. Sarge drapes Hacksaw over the apron and hits him with an elbow, then goes to the head with the 2×4 thanks to his manager’s distraction. Sarge covers while standing up, but Hacksaw kicks out at 2. Sarge rakes the back, eliciting a big laugh out of me, and he gets trash thrown at him from the crowd. He rams Hacksaw into his spiked boot, and into the turnbuckles, but Hacksaw is a no-selling machine. He sends Sarge hard into the corner and over the top, the guy taking another great bump. He rams Sarge into the steps leading to another big bump, and posts him. Adnan tries to hit Hacksaw to stop him, and Sarge now grabs a chair. He clocks Hacksaw over the head with it, and that’s a disqualification at 6:50.

Sarge still has the chair, and hits Hacksaw with some super weak looking shots in comparison to the first one. He whips Hacksaw with a riding crop, and out comes THE HULKSTER. SARGE HITS HIM WITH THE CHAIR TOO, AND SPITS ON HIM. WHAT A CHAMPION! Despite the beating, Hogan quickly rises to his feet, helps up Hacksaw, and waves the American flag around.

My Thoughts: I’m going to give this *1/2 with half a star for each of Sarge’s great bumps. Otherwise, this match was junk and as bad or worse than the opener. Still, good bumps are better than nothing at all. Slaughter getting disqualified was dumb in that a champion should go over strong in a match like this. As it was, he didn’t get the chance to do that, WM 7 wasn’t a big business success, and the WWF went to shit. It’s all connected, man.

 

The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. Legion of Doom

Pre-Match Thoughts: This is a fun matchup, and it’s different! The Express will definitely make LOD look like stars, something the WWF has completely and utterly failed to do. Animal and Hawk had a promo to give, and they talked some real shit. I didn’t understand it. Man, with this being a WCW area and all, LOD got a bigger babyface reaction than usual.

Match Review: Kato and Animal start the match, and Animal ragdolls him around the ring for a little bit. Kato leaves the ring to get away from him, and Animal chases him around it, but Kato got to land some kicks. Animal comes back with a big powerslam, and Tanaka runs in, as does Hawk. They give Tanaka a gigantic double backdrop, that was sick. Hawk tags in there, as does Tanaka, and Hawk runs him over with a shoulderblock. Hawk does it for a second time, and the third, Kato trips him and the Express tries a double team. Hawk takes Tanaka out with a clothesline, then grabs Kato and Kato ducks to the outside, where Animal press slams him back into the ring. Hawk clotheslines Kato over the top to send him right back out, and Animal hits Kato with a clothesline that leads to a somersault sell. That was awesome. Tanaka and Animal are still in there, and Tanaka gets hit with a clothesline that is sold in the same fashion. Now, the Express is given a noggin-nocker, but Fuji has salt he throws into Animal’s face. Tanaka takes Animal out with a superkick, and brings Kato in for some face rakes and stuff. The Express uses a double team leap attack onto Animal’s back, then get nailed with a double clothesline. Hawk makes the big tag in, and destroys Kato with a flying shoulderblock. After knocking Fuji off the apron, Animal hits Kato with a clothesline in the corner. It’s time for the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, and OH SHIT KATO GOES FLYING. HAWK COVERS, AND LOD WINS AT 5:11.

My Thoughts: This was really fun even though it was a total squash. It was totally geared towards making LOD look great, and they sure as hell did look great. Tons of stiff moves, great spots, interesting selling, **1/2. Very fun match to watch, and the best LOD had looked to this point in the WWF. By my standards, anyway.

 

Jack Tunney is in the ring to announce the WrestleMania main event, and everyone’s interested in it. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out the main event, but to some people, perhaps it did. Gene Okerlund suggested that Ultimate Warrior was deserving of a rematch, as was Hacksaw Duggan. He also mentioned Randy Savage. Tunney states that Slaughter’s opponent will be…HULK HOGAN. Not a big reaction to that, not one piped in either.

Slaughter is in the back with Sean Mooney, and he says he’ll stoop to any depths to defend his title. That sounds great! His promo wasn’t that bad.

Hogan comes out to the ring for his own promo, and hypes up his time spent at military bases, which is just disgusting. This is so abhorrent to exploit something like this. He drops so many shitty ass lines, talks about Scud missiles and shit. I’m done, I can’t watch any more of this shit. If it got any better, I didn’t see it.

 

Well, I can see why the ratings for this show were so terrible, and I can see why NBC subsequently kicked the WWF off their network. The rampant explotation of an actual war is just ridiculous. It was also all over this show to the point where I couldn’t go 5 minutes without being reminded of it. The only thing on this show that was worth seeing, was LOD destroying the Orient Express. The rest was junk and I can’t say that strongly enough. Absolute shit, and like I said, no wonder the WWF’s business went straight downhill. They turned off way too many consumers with this stuff when they were already struggling to keep people buying tickets. Next up for me, I have a month’s worth of WCW stuff from Clash 14 to WrestleWar. It looks interesting too!

Wrestling Time: 20:57. Not a whole lot there, honestly.

Best: LOD vs. Orient Express. It was a lot of fun.

Worst: Exploitation. Everywhere.

Card Rating: 3/10. I’ll never watch this again for any reason. Really disgusted by it, even though it was a long time ago.

Written by Sage Cortez

Sage is a boisterous Los Angeles sports fan. Unsurprisingly, like many other loudmouth LA fans, he also likes the Raiders and a range of combat sports.

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