From the WWE Network: Wrestling’s Superheroes

Demolition vs. The Powers of Pain and Mr. Fuji

This is from Wrestlemania 5. The heels get a tepid reaction. Did the P.O.P. lose their music when they went heel? I honestly don’t recall. Demolition gets a better reaction, but nothing overwhelming. The Trump Plaza crowds were just a killer for heat. Supposedly there are over 18,000 fans in attendance.

Ax and the Warlord kick things off. Ax quickly downs the Warlord with forearm shots, then brings in Smash to help him drop bombs. Ax plays to the crowd and no one responds.

Demoliton then beat down the Barbarian with their roughhouse stylings. Demoliton just totally dominate the first 5 minutes or so. I’m surprised the WWF didn’t add audio sweetening to give this match some pizzazz on this release.

Ax falls prey to Powers of Pain, and even Fuji gets in on the action as he delivers some chops and a headbutt to Ax’s groin. Fuji comes in a second time and misses a “flying” leg drop. We’ll go with “falling with style” instead.

Smash makes the “hot” tag and unloads on both of the muscular heels. He whips enough ass that even the dead crowd has to react. Ax takes out the Barbarian as the Warlord holds Smash back for Fuji. Fuji accidentally tosses salt in Warlord’s eyes and Fuji gets nailed with the Demolition Decapitation for the win at 8:20.   Demolition pretty much dominated things, giving this fued a definitive finish.

“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

This is from Saturday Night’s Main Event. Ron Garvin is the ref, needing a new career after Valentine ended his career. Valentine attacks Snuka before the bell, and Garvin fails to convince him to stop the assault. Snuka gets a brief flurry, but lands a headbutt on the wrong part of Valentine and hurts himself.

Valentine wears at Snuka, ultimately tossing him to the floor and blocking his reentry. Valentine kicks Snuka several times, while ignoring Garvin’s orders to back off. Garvin physically shoves Valentine. As Garvin and the Hammer face off Snuka sneaks to the top rope. Garvin slugs Valentine, who turns around in a daze and finds himself bombarded with a flying crossbody for the win at 3:14.  Valentine attempts to attack Garvin afterwards, but Garvin dispatches him to the floor.

They got a lot into a hurried match and moved the storyline along nicely as well.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. “Ravishing” Rick Rude

The WWF apparently lost the rights to Rude’s music. Ugh. This match is being held in a cage. Hillbilly Jim and Gorilla Monsoon call the action.

Rude jumps Piper as soon as he gets through the door. Piper turns the tide quickly, producing a belt and giving Rude a nasty series of blows with it across his back. Rude’s face is then gnawed on.

Piper mockingly watches Rude try and scale the cage in a great deal of Pain. Piper pulls him down and smacks his head into the steel. Piper climbs but Heenan distracts him long enough for Rude to yank him off the cage and drop him onto the top rope crotch first.

Rude attempts to crawl out, but Piper clings on for dear life. Rude gets back to a vertical base and delivers a “Rude Awakening” neck breaker. Rude is still wonked and can’t even find the door as he crawls about in a daze.

Both men go down after a collision. Both then climb side by side up the cage in an exhaustive state. They race down, jumping at the same time and landing together. Howard Finkel quickly announces that the ref has declared that the men tied and thus the match must continue. They went to the announcement way too fast, barely letting the fans soak in the moment. It took some of the starch out of the developments for me.

Rude secures a chair and wallops Piper on the floor. He then lays a dazed Piper down in the ring, climbs to the top of the cage and leaps off, connecting with a fist drop. Piper kicks out, despite being badly rattled.

Rude delivers a piledriver and climbs to the top of the cage for another attempt at an aerial assault. Piper shakes the cage and Rude crotches himself on the steel. Piper ties Rude up on the top of the cage, with Rude hanging upside down. Hot Rod attempts to go out the door, but Heenan slams it in his face. I totally bought that as the finish.

Heenan hands Rude a foreign object, but Piper wrests it away. Piper KO’s Rude and walks out the door at 12:55.  This was a good match, with lots of hatred and memorable spots.

WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan vs. Hercules Hernandez

This is from Saturday Night’s Main Event. Hercules wins a test of strength, but Hogan pumps up. Herc cheap shots him and starts to deliver some bombs. Hogan roars back, forcing Heenan to distract Hogan to try and buy Hercules some time. Hercules jumps Hogan, but Hogan fights right back until he misses an elbow.

Hercules locks on a bearhug, then drives Hogan’s back into his knee. Hogan gets trapped in the Torture Rack. Jesse Ventura thinks Hogan submits and Hercules drops him. Herc wastes time posing, and then tries to make a cover. Hogan kicks out, Hulks up and starts to beat Hercules from pillar to post. Big boot. Leg drop…1…2….3….6:30. This was pretty much a house show match in fast forward for the national TV audience. There was little in the way of selling, but the they didn’t want to expose Hogan by dragging things out.

WWF World Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior

The crowd is HOT. Savage tries to get the jump on Warrior, but he no sells and blasts Savage out of the ring with a flying shoulder block. He chases Savage to the floor and press slams him back in the ring.

Savage lures Warrior into chasing him, and gets the jump on Warrior. Warrior shakes that off, then catches Savage trying to leap into him. He dumps Savage upside down in the corner and lays in some kicks. Warrior mounts Savage and throws ten of the fakest punches possible – right in front of the camera.

Savage maneuvers the Warrior into a trap and dumps him to the floor. He drops the double axe handle down on the Warrior, then tries to wear him out with choking and headlocks back in the center of the ring. Warrior powers up, but Savage catches him with a clothesline. Savage follows that with a double ax handle, but Warrior won’t even stay down for a one count!

Warrior reverses a suplex attempt as Rick Rude comes to ringside. Rude flexes, trying to get the Warrior to turn his back on the World champion. Warrior keeps wrecking Savage, until he lands on Savage’s knees on a splash attempt. Warrior gets cracked with a few blows, but he shakes the ropes and is invincible once again.

Warrior drops the champ with a series of clotheslines, and hits a powerslam. Warrior then decides to attack Rude at ringside. Well, he’s an idiot. While Rude is being choke Savage drops a double axe handle down on Warrior, helping him earn a count-out victory at 9:34

Rude and Savage celebrate in the ring. Warrior comes in, dumps the World champ like an afterthought, beats up Rude, and dumps him with a press slam. This was a good match, with Savage willingly bumping like a pinball and making Warrior look like a Terminator.

Final thoughts: Hold your nose through the needlessly repeated PPV and TV matches and check out the house show gems.

 

Written by Andrew Lutzke

The grumpy old man of culturecrossfire.com, lover of wrasslin' and true crimes.

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