Happy Thoughts on WWE Smackdown for 05/09/2014

 

WWE Smackdown

05/09/2014

Buffalo, New York

 

United States Championship Match – Sheamus © vs. Dean Ambrose

They take to the mat to begin the match, with Ambrose winding up on top.  Sheamus powers out and grabs a side headlock, following up with a shoulderblock and a clothesline for just one.  Sheamus works on Dean’s shoulder, the same shoulder that was being favored at the very start.  This devolves into a slugfest.  Ambrose slugs Sheamus to the outside, but bounces off of the announce table.  Ambrose returns fire with a suplex on the floor.  Dean breaks up the count, but is picked up and hit with a rolling senton from Sheamus before we go to break.

We return with Dean elbowing out of a hold and getting a crossbody off of an Irish whip.  Sheamus misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post.  Dean follows him outside with a dive into the barricade.  Back inside, Dean hits a chop block from the second rope.  They botch a dragon screw, but Dean quickly moves into a figure-four.  Sheamus gets to the ropes.  Sheamus gets the Irish Curse for two, answering back.  Sheamus then locks on the Cloverleaf.  Dean gets to the ropes and retreats to the apron.  This is a bad idea, as Sheamus pulls his shirt over his head and clubs away.  Sheamus carries Dean back in, and they fight over a backslide.  Sheamus gets the boot up, leading to Dean rebounding in hitting the clothesline to put them both down.

They trade in the middle of the ring.  Dean looks for the dropkick into the ropes, but a Sheamus Brogue Kick sends him out of the ring.  Ambrose is just able to make it back into the ring.  Dean slowly works back to his feet, as Sheamus gets ready for another that finally puts Dean away.

Final Thoughts:  **1/2.  I’m still not so sure where this heel turn is coming from.  He hasn’t done anything more annoying than he usually does.  The thought that a legal move performed in order to win a match is considered a heel turn is baffling to me.

 

Rob Van Dam and Big E vs. Cesaro and Bad News Barrett

Before the match, Barrett delivers the bad news that due to climate change, the fans and Big E will be forgotten in history.  Rob begins with Barrett.  They talk some trash to begin, but BNB begins to pound away.  Rob gets the boot up in the corner and kicks Barrett from the ring.  Cesaro baits RVD into coming outside.  Barrett hits a clothesline and send Rob back in for two.  RVD fights back, and Big E and Cesaro enter.  A suplex and a big splash get two for Big E.  RVD accidently kicks Big E in the head and the Neutralizer finishes for Cesaro.

Final Thoughts:  Well, this wasn’t a great use of talent.   There’s not much to say other than we aren’t moving forward with this segment.  Also, a two minute match is no good for anyone.

 

Kofi Kingston vs. Rusev

Lana has a glowing recommendation of Russia before introducing Rusev to beat Kofi.  Kofi hits some kicks to begin, but walks into a jumping side kick that might have broken his neck.  Kofi fights back in the corner and hits a dropkick.  Kofi punches in the corner, but gets pulled out.  Kofi gets a dropkick and a crossbody.  Rusev catches him, slams him down, and then puts on The Accolade for the win.

Final Thoughts:  Lana is kind of the star of this whole thing.

 

-I had thought that The Wyatt Family was about to cut a promo on Rusev, but instead, Bray tells Cena that it’s quite alright to fear him.

 

Fandango and Layla vs. Santino and Emma

Stop it.  Santino and Fandango start.  Santino gets a hip toss, an arm drag, and a headlock.  Fandango batters him in the corner and hammer throws him into the opposite.  Fandango misses a kneedrop and tags are exchanged.  Emma takes Layla down, and then dodges a corner charge before putting on the DilEMMA (tarantula).  Emma then dives in for the sandwich and pulls out her new sock.  Santino dumps himself over the top, and Layla gets a rollup for the win.  After the match, Fandango and Layla embrace and kiss.  It seems to bewilder Emma and Santino.

Final Thoughts:  Cole delivered a great line after the match.  Poor Emma.

 

Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry

Henry shows off his power to begin, winning and tossing Roman on some lockups.  They slug it out, and we get to see Reigns sell.  Henry delivers some terrific trash talk, as he always does.  He could teach a course on this.  Reigns gets tossed outside, and then is crushed against the steel post.  Reigns works on coughing up a lung.  Roman answers with a clothesline off of the whip and hits a corner clothesline.  Roman goes for another, but gets run over.  Cole and JBL are using their annoying voices that convey concern.  Reigns is able to take Mark out of the corner and hits a Samoan drop.  Reigns wins it with the spear.

Final Thoughts:  This was kept short, and was built by The Shield beating down Henry so often beforehand.

 

Los Matadores and El Torito vs. 3MB and Hornswoggle

They lock up to start, Drew taking chops in the corner, but getting a boot up in the opposite corner.  Drew stomps away and brings in Heath.  Slater drops an elbow and slugs away before bringing Drew back in for another boot.  They slam Horny on top to finish.  Drew keeps slugging away as the table starts cracking jokes.  There’s a botched headscissors in the corner.  Heath tags in, but gets flapjacked.  Lukewarm tag leads to Drew and a matador connecting in the middle of the ring.  It’s El Torito and Horny in now, with Torito biting him in the ass.  Horny answers with a big right hand.  Horny is gored from the ring, and this charges him up.  He yells at Heath for laughing, and takes a giant splash that is broken up at two by Slater.  Heath then jobs to a moonsault from Torito…somewhat convincingly, too.

Final Thoughts:  I mean…it looked like he could be caught off guard. But, let’s just put this to bed now.

 

Batista vs. Seth Rollins

They battle in the corner to begin, and trade in the middle.  Seth gets a dropkick, but misses a corner splash and slams into the post.  Batista hits a clothesline, but gets dropkicked from the ring shortly thereafter.  Batista runs away from a dive, and captures Seth in the apron when Rollins tries the baseball slide.  We go to break after Batista delivers a boot to Rollins on the apron.

We’re back with Batista putting on a chinlock.  Seth fights back, but gets thrown into the second buckle.  Batista works on the bandaged elbow in the corner and give Seth a hard whip into the opposite corner.  There’s a suplex for two.  Seth flips up out of the corner, and dodges a corner charge from Batista.  Seth charges in with forearms and stomps away.  Seth hits his new and spiffy tornado neckbreaker.  On the apron, Seth gets a boot up and springboards back in.  He rolls away, but runs back into a spinebuster.  Seth fights out of the powerbomb and hits him with an enzuigiri that sends Big Dave outside.

Rollins goes up to the top, and leaps off.  Dave directs Seth’s face into the table, though.  Batista rolls back in and beats the count.  Seth doesn’t.  After the match, Batista rolls Seth back into the ring and beats him down.  Batista gets the Batistabomb to make his point.

Final Thoughts:  **.  Dave is noticeably growing a beard and letting his hair grow out a bit.  I wonder if this is just him not giving a damn since he’s reportedly far from happy in the company.  I respect that they wanted to protect Seth with a count-out loss, but Batista desperately needed a nice win and a strong performance.

 

The Wyatt Family vs. The Usos and John Cena

Cena and Rowan start.  John immediately works him over in the corner, hitting a splash and suplexing him back in the middle of the ring.  Harper enters now.  Cena clubs at Luke, and hits a bulldog and big boot.  Jimmy and Jey get some work in before Jimmy takes over, getting a rollup out of the corner.  Luke fights back with a chop to the throat and brings back Rowan.  Jimmy floats out of the corner, gets a right hand, and brings Jey back.  Rowan hits a big, lumbering shoulderblock that turns the tide.  Jey gets worked over in the corner.  Harper hits an uppercut and a right hand to follow up.

Luke hits a guillotine in the ropes and gets a cover for two.  Bray comes in with a stomp, and follows with an elbow drop and some punches.  Jey fights back, but gets smashed in the corner.  Bray’s spider walk scares the hell out of Jey, but he runs into a forearm and gets dumped.  Harper tags in, though.  He breaks up the hot tag and it’s time for the Gator Roll.  Jey goes down on a slam attempt for two, and Harper follows that with a big boot.  Rowan reenters, but is run into the corner.  Still, he hits a scoop slam.  Rowan misses a splash and Jimmy meets Bray with the hot tag.  Jimmy hits a leg lariat and splashes into the corner on Bray.  Harper returns, but takes one of the many superkicks that are doled out.  Cena and Bray brawl on the outside.  Jey splashes out onto them after Rowan joins in, and Harper hits the clothesline on Jimmy for the win.

Final Thoughts:  **.  There’s not all that much here.  It was fine.

 

–I’d like to tell you that this was a straight forward wrestling show, but it was still cramped and lacking in quality.  This was just something that could be tacked onto Raw, and there’s just not much going on here.

 

 

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