RAW Before The War (5-8-95)

WWF Monday Night RAW
May 8th, 1995 (Taped on April 24th, 1995)
From The Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska
Announcers: Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

The show opens with footage of SID’s heinous attack on Razor Ramon during last week’s show. Was it a bullying act of cowardice or was SID trying to send a message to Diesel? Uh, can’t it be both, Vince?

Vince McMahon says Jerry Lawler looks like the cat who swallowed the canary. Lawler is so excited to get his hands on Bret Hart. For two years, Bret Hart has insulted him and his family and called him BURGER KING and finally he’ll get his hands on him.

Jeff Jarrett (with The Roadie) Vs Doink The Clown (with Dink)
Double J won back the WWF Intercontinental Championship yesterday on Action Zone.  Lawler chuckles reminiscing about the time him and Double J pied Dink. Mem’ries, like the corner of my mind…This is a non-title match because Double J wasn’t Champ when this was signed. Doink kicks The Roadie when Roadie tries to interfere. King thinks there should be a DQ. Doink tried to kick an innocent bystander. Doink seems paunchier than usual… Doink hits a Stone Cold Stunner. This is like the third or fourth RAW feature match this year that when it was announced the week before I was like “Eh! No thanks”, that ends up being surprisingly decent. Or at least, not as terrible as I expected. Just as I typed that, Dink bites Jeff Jarrett in the butt. I retract the statement about this match being decent… Jarrett wins after Roadie runs in and clips Doink while he has Double J in the Stump Puller.

Up next, more action but first a look at The Bodydonnas. Skip & Sunny heckle the fatsos watching RAW. They’ve elevated themselves to a shape of physical beauty that’s impossible to reach. They’re takin’ over the WWF! They’re The Bodydonnas.

We get an in depth interview with Bam Bam Bigelow. Bam Bam Bigelow mistimed things at the Rumble then he made a mistake when he shoved Lawrence Taylor. He apologizes to Lawrence Taylor! LT was just there to have a good time. Bam Bam says haters say he got beat by a football player but he says he got beat by one of the greatest athletes of all time! Bam Bam respects Diesel as a champion, athlete, and as a man. Bam Bam Bigelow says he’s gonna take down The Million Dollar Corporation, one by one, with the help of the fans of the New Generation.

Vince McMahon says next week, Bam Bam will get his first shot at the Million Dollar Corporation when he takes on IRS in the main event of RAW.

We get a promo for Diesel-SID at In Your House 1! SID says he’s the MASTER and RULER of the WORLD but Diesel says at In Your House he’s gonna get in SID’s face!

Vince McMahon is with SID and Ted DiBiase. Ted DiBiase says he suggested SID as a bodyguard to Shawn Michaels. DiBiase says it was all part of a master plan! Him and SID took out Diesel’s little buddy and now they’re gonna take out Diesel himself! SID is the crown jewel of the Million Dollar Corporation and he’s the next WWF World Champ! Fans chant “Diesel”. DiBiase says it’s too bad Diesel can’t win the house they’re giving away because after SID destroys him, Diesel will need a home. DiBiase then corrects himself and says after SID’s done with Diesel, Diesel will need to be in a rest home. SID hollers nonsensically and talks about being the Super Predator of the WWF. We get some shots of some fans shaking their heads. Probably because they’re dumbstruck by Big SID’s promo.

Hakushi (with Shinja) Vs Gary Scott
As Hakushi enters as Vince wonders WHAT WAS HAKUSHI DOING IN CALGARY? Jim Ross has the answer! Call the WWF Superstar Hotline. Lawler is APPALLED! No one was supposed to find out!  Lawler makes some Helen Hart jokes and Vince wants him to STOP IT! “We Want Bret” chants, Vince says we’ll get plenty of Bret at In Your House! He’s in two matches! Lawler brings up this weekend’s #1 Box Office Hit French Kiss (because this show is LIVE, people) by saying that this whole feud started out with one French Kiss between Stu & Helen that produced twenty lousy kids and one good one (Owen). Hakushi wins with a sweet splash off the ropes.

Todd Pettingell delivers the final In Your House report. In Your House is this weekend! Only $14.95 for two hours of World Wrestling Federation entertainment. Six star studded matches! Diesel cuts a promo on getting his hands on SID. Bret Hart is ready for his two matches, one against Hakushi and one against Jerry Lawler. Plus Razor Ramon is taking on Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie in a handicap match. Jarrett says he’s gonna make The Roadie wrestle most of the match since he thinks Razor is still hobbled from SID’s attack last week. Plus we’ll see Owen Hart & Yokozuna defend the WWF Tag Team Titles against The Smoking Gunns and the King of the Ring qualifier between Adam Bomb and Mabel!

Owen Hart (with Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) Vs Bart Gunn (With Billy Gunn)
Vince McMahon says he’s got the inside scoop on Bob Backlund’s announcement next week, Bob Backlund will announce he’s Duckman. Lawler’s not amused! Lawler says Vince is not funny but Duckman is. Forget about those has-beens Beavis and Butthead  or the neverweres Ren & Stimpy, Duckman is where it’s at! Bart dominates Owen until some conveniently timed heel distraction. Could you imagine what happens once Yokozuna’s added to the fray!? Lawler says he wants Owen’s big brother Bret in the ring immediately after the match with Hakushi is over. Lawler says the “I’m gonna piledrive him so hard, he’s gonna have to unzip his pants to brush his teeth line.” Always a classic. Billy Gunn eventually helps Bart even the odds. Bart gets the huge upset with a schoolboy. Not a bad match. This show is definitely an improvement over last week.

We get a clip of Todd Pettingell and Stephanie Wiand visiting the In Your House house on Mania. God, Stephanie Wiand had to be one of the most annoying personalities in WWF history. Todd acts like an insufferable jackass during this segment. Standing on the counter top, talking about big the winner’s monthly utilities bills are going to be. Do you not want people to enter the contest, Pettingell!?

Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler sit in front of the green screen at the announce booth. The King is going to make a big announcement. But first, Bret Hart’s promo from last week! Jerry Lawler says he’s going to humiliate Bret Hart. He says if Bret will dedicate the match to Helen Hart, he’s going to bring his mother to ringside at In Your House. Then after the match Mama Lawler will challenge Helen to a match! Oh man. If that didn’t make a 1995 WWF fan want to plunk down $14.95, I don’t know what would!

Next Week on RAW: It’s the night after In Your House 1 and RAW is live from beautiful Binghamton, New York! Bob Holly takes on Mantaur in a King of the Ring Tournament qualifier plus Bam Bam Bigelow takes on his former tag team partner IRS. 

Written by Connor McGrath

Connor McGrath is a public access television show host and part-time amateur comedian, who resides in Portland, Maine. He contributes reviews of Northeast independent wrestling promotion, NWA On Fire along with occasional guest articles.

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