Jonathan Dehn
WWE Monday Night Raw
09/30/2013
Some Place in Mississippi that WWE doesn’t want to mention.
-CM Punk is out to start the show, and he’s in favor of being unpredictable. But, it’s predictable that he’ll get his revenge, finally, on Paul Heyman. Punk doesn’t plan on leaving the ring until he gets a fight tonight. Brad Maddox comes out to tell Punk to take it easy. Punk notes the lack of Maddox’s entrance music. Nice pants, Brad. Brad says that Punk’s actions are not good for business. Big E steps out onto the ramp and it seems that he and Punk are about to have a match. Big E attacks Punk quickly but misses a charge into the corner.
Big E Langston vs. CM Punk
We come in from break with Punk and Langston battling on the outside. Back in, Punk goes up and gets a crossbody for just one. Big E reverses out of the GTS and hits a big clothesline coming out of the corner for two. It was more of a slam. Big E gets a big splash to Punk’s back for two. Langston goes to a half crab. Punk gets out and throws some kick and chops. Langston runs through Punk for two. Punk gets a sunset flip for two, but Big E fires off a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Punk gets the big kick to the head after a battle for two.
Big E reverses the GTS into a short-armed clothesline for two. Big E misses a second big splash and misses a charge. Punk comes forward with a leg lariat and swinging neckbreaker. Punk gets the corner knee and clothesline to set up the Savage Elbow. It hits, and Punk signals for the GTS. Punk hits it flush and picks up the win.
Final Thoughts: **1/2, with not really enough time. Still, a refreshing matchup and a good crowd here. I’ve noticed that Punk was working in some Van Damme and Chong Li taunts from Bloodsport. That’s a great movie to rip from.
Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston
Fandango has a pink shirt for breast cancer month, as does Kofi. Yet, King wears a bright yellow shirt. Anyways, they slug it out a bit to start and trade some shoulderblocks and flying elbows. Kofi floats over out of the corner for a head scissors, but Kofi gets turned inside out by a clothesline for two. Fandango follows with a snap suplex for two. Kofi flips out from Fandango’s grasp and gets a DDT. Kofi makes the comeback but gets a snake eyes. Fandango misses a corner charge and takes a Trouble in Paradise following a miscommunication of sorts. After the match, The Wyatt Family comes on out. There’s no clapping this week, unfortunately. Kofi grabs a chair, and Bray sits outside to talk. Bray has a pink pin on his fedora, of course. Bray speaks of the looming threat of himself.
Final Thoughts: *, I guess. There wasn’t too much going on, but I have to say that even Bray putting a pink ribbon on his hat is a tad much.
-Backstage, Orton shows up to creep out Brie and asks her just when she and Bryan are getting married, but Bryan won’t make it down the aisle, because he won’t be able to walk.
-Renee is backstage to continue her money feud with Paul Heyman. Paul says that Punk has to live with his failures and his obsession with him. Renee points out that Curtis Axel is hiding behind some equipment and Ryback is waiting just around the corner. I like that image of Curtis Axel hiding behind a trunk with that smile of his plastered to his face. Paul says that everything is a trap for Punk, but that Punk is welcomed to try to attack him again.
3MB vs. Los Matadores
I have no words for this entrance. They have a little person with them, who is the star. It’s going to be Jinder and Diego, apparently, starting the match. Primo hits a ‘rana and a monkey flip to bring in Fernando. Heath is in, as well. He takes Heath down with a head scissors and there’s a double team backbody drop. Jinder tags in and hits a high knee and a suplex for two. Slater comes in for a kneedrop that gets two. Boring chants begin to start during the comeback. Diego gets the lukewarm tag and cleans house. It finishes with a double Samoan drop for the win. Imagine that.
Final Thoughts: Well, the mini-bull guy is entertaining, but will quickly overshadow the act. Anyways, this won’t catch on, and Lawler is going to have a hell of a time not calling the guy a midget.
-Stephanie and HHH come out to officially welcome the Rhodes family out to the ring and offer them a “lucrative” business opportunity. HHH welcomes out the Rhodes, and out they come. Goldust in a suit looks great. There’s plenty of swagger here. HHH and Stephanie don’t like their looks of hostility. HHH just kinda rips on them for a while. If Cody and Dustin can defeat Reigns and Rollins on Sunday, then they get jobs. But, if they lose, Dusty loses his job with development, as well. Of course, Dusty brings out some swagger that HHH could never hope to attain. After Stephanie and HHH leave, The Shield attack and leave the family laying, finishing with powerbombing Cody to good heel heat. HHH’s line about Dusty never being a draw was complete bullshit, of course.
R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel w/Paul Heyman
Truth’s rap during the verse of his song was pretty terrible. Axel is so far, the only grappler who doesn’t give a damn about cancer. Axel gets an armdrag and bashes Truth’s dancing in the middle of the match. He gets a right hand for his trouble. Axel gets kicked around the ring like his dad would. Truth gets some punches in the corner, but gets dropped on the top rope.
They slug it out, but Truth runs into a great dropkick for two. Truth gets a couple of clotheslines and hits the suplex stunner for two. Axel gets the upper hand, but Punk’s music plays. Truth hits his finisher in the first time in a few months to set up a hasty title defense at Battleground, most likely. Paul is actually proud of Punk’s ploy, even if it’s the most common mind game used in WWE.
Final Thoughts: *. Same old stuff, here, I guess.
Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella
Brie gets dumped out of the ring to start and tosses inside to be choked. Alicia gets a northern lights suplex for two. Fox hits a nifty facebuster for two. Brie hits a flying clothesline and stops to lift up her hot pants, which would drive Trish Stratus crazy. Brie floats out of a suplex and hits a slap that leads to a facebuster of her own for the win.
Final Thoughts: I’m not sure who the faces are right now.
-Ryback shows up to calm down Axel and Heyman, who freak out about Punk getting in their heads. Ryback offers to take care of Punk, and Heyman is so enamored with him that plans to go out to the ring and propose to him.
-Renee is backstage and asks The Big Show how he is holding up. Big Show is a moment or two from crying. Big Show recalls how he can’t look Dusty Rhodes in the eye and decides that he can’t take it anymore. He looks pissed as he walks off to find and knock HHH the hell out.
-After coming back from commercial, Truth comically leaves the conversation with Maddox about an IC title shot when The Big Show comes in and chokes Maddox against the wall of the office. Maddox has no clue where HHH is and scampers off.
Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ryder hits a hiptoss to start and misses a corner charge. Ryder flapjacks him and sends him outside with a clothesline. Ryder misses a body press to the outside and gets taken apart. Back inside, Del Rio gets two and puts on the chinlock. Ryder fights out and gets a sunset flip, but runs into the backbreaker and a grounded kick. Ryder fights back with a facebuster, gets the knees up in the corner, and gets a missile dropkick. Ryder nails the Broski Boot for two. ADR counters the Rough Ryder and gets a German suplex for two. Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker for the win.
Final Thoughts: This was better for Ryder than most of his squash matches.
-After some lukewarm applause for breast cancer survivors in the first row, Heyman heads out to the ring with Ryback. In a terrific segment, Paul proposes to Ryback to be a “Paul Heyman Guy”. CM Punk interrupts, jumping out of the stands and “hurting” his knee. Instead, he suckers everyone in and lays waste to Axel with kendo stick shots and a GTS after Heyman and Ryback run off.
The Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler and The Usos
Dolph and Dean start off. Off of an exchange, Dolph gets a standing dropkick. He follows with a crossbody and hiptosses the entering Rollins. In comes Jimmy, and he gets one from a headbutt. Jey tags in for a quick double team that gets a two count. Dean reenters and slugs it out with Jey, gaining the advantage and helping Rollins return to stomp away. Reigns enters, but an Uso double-team and a Ziggler clothesline to Reigns over the top leads to the Usos splashing down to the outside right before we go to break.
We return with Seth with a chinlock on Jimmy. Jimmy blocks a suplex and gets one of his own. Dean gets back in before Jimmy can get the hot tag. Jimmy fights out of the chinlock, but takes a back elbow. Reigns comes in and shows up Ziggler with an elbow drop for two. Reigns hits a suplex for two to follow up. Jimmy ducks out of the way and dumps Reigns. Roman tries to cut off the hot tag but gets a superkick. Rollins gets backdropped and Ziggler comes in to take on Ambrose, a house of fire. All hell breaks loose, with bodies flying everywhere, with Ziggler being torn in half by a Reigns spear for the win.
Final Thoughts: ***1/2. A good, fun match as we’d expect. There might have been a bit of confusion in the break down, but you couldn’t tell for sure.
-The Big Show is still made in that office, but then the police show up because someone told them that someone was threatening someone on a wrestling show. Stephanie stops the officers from detaining Big Show, but then drops the bombshell that his wife told her that he can’t get it up at home. I’m not sure why Big Show’s wife would mention that to his awful employer. Big Show punches a HHH poster that’s on the wall, because that’s as much as someone can get one over on HHH.
-Elsewhere, Rob Van Dam tries to show Alberto Del Rio just what a hardcore match is.
Santino w/The Great Khali and Hornswoggle vs. Antonio Cesaro w/Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger
Oh no. Santino grabs a headlock to start. Santino gets an armdrag, but takes an uppercut. Cesaro charges in with another in the corner, and hits a slam. Cesaro gets a double stomp for two. Santino fights out of the Giant Swing and gets the hip toss and headbutt. Cesaro avoids the headbutt and gets the Giant Swing. Santino hits the same cradle from a few weeks ago on Cesaro and picks up the win.
Final Thoughts: It was similar to the match they had in Toronto, but not with the same energy from the crowd. It’s amazing how much of a difference that can make.
-We have our main event confrontation, and it’s overshadowed a bit by Bryan’s engagement to Brie, as the host, Lawler, brings it up at the start. Anyways, Orton says that he’s bigger and stronger and a better predator than Bryan. Bryan says that he never needed motivation to get the most out of himself…he kind of buries himself as small and weak, answering back to Orton. Randy sees that he should be the one sleeping with Brie. A brawl erupts, with Orton getting the upper hand. Brie comes out to perform some awful acting and further derail Bryan’s main event push as she tries to stop Randy from doing further damage. The show ends after Randy hits the RKO through the announce table and Brie cries on top of Daniel.
–Well, the entire CM Punk and Heyman storyline segment was brilliant and needs to be seen. The payoff to Big Show’s angle was lousy, with him just being taken down another peg, wherever the hell that leaves him. The Rhodes family held themselves with a natural swagger that was noticeable. And, we had a good tag team match to enjoy. I didn’t care much for Bryan’s main event push to be supplemented yet again with others leaching off of his heat. I expect him to go through another Dusty finish, just because it worked so well the last time.
