WWE Superstars – May 30, 2013

WWE Superstars – 5/30/2013

Welcome to this week’s edition of WWE Superstars– Moderately fresher than AM RAW!

As we are welcomed, What’s Up hits and R-Truth makes his way to the ring.  It’s nice to see after that awesome heel run, Truth is back to where he started, except now he doesn’t even rap.

Next to the ring, Antonio Cesaro.  In the winter, this was a PPV feud for the US Title.  Now it opens one of the least watched shows.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

The two men lock up while Striker does a cheap plug for the Payback pay-per-view.  Antonio hammers away on Truth until he throws a kick and Truth catches his leg.  Truth takes does Antonio, does a What’s Up, an elbow, some dancing and Cesaro gets some boos by going to the apron.

As Truth comes over, Cesaro chokes Truth by dropping his neck across the top and is in the ring for a quick suplex and a one-count.  We get the tidbit that Antonio is so disciplined that he has not had desert in years.  Supposedly, this match came about because Truth was playing his rap CD backstage, disturbing Antonio’s classical music listening.  That clearly makes him a bad guy, for being upset about getting disturbed.

As Antonio does a feat of strength before toying with Truth, Striker points out several athletes share a birthday as Cesaro and this is why we should take him as a credible athlete.  Because he shares a birthday with Cole Hamels.

Cesaro and Truth go back and forth as Truth throws one of his impressive aerial kicks.  Truth clotheslines down Cesaro in what we are told is a “man-sized” collision.  Truth dominates but gets frustrated after a 2-count. He plays up to the crowd but misses a big dive in the corner.  Cesaro rolls him up but only two.  Cesaro plots and goes for a sleeper but gets tossed.  Now Antonio misses Truth in the corner, R-Truth with the Lie Detector and it is over.

Winner: R-Truth

Striker tells us the WWE Universe is in shock because Cesaro has been on a roll lately.  I can’t remember the last time I saw him win.  We are told this shows us anything can happen in WWE, like the emergence of Curtis Axel.  Super smooth transition to tell us what the replays taking up the bulk of the show will be.

We come back to commercial to hear about how “illuminating” the Highlight Reel is, going to the build up for Punk/Jericho at Payback.

This takes up a good eleven minutes or so of the show before another commercial for Wrestlemania XXIX, now on home video.  I wish Todd Pettengill would give me video game tips on the disc.

We come back to commercial to jump straight into more replays, this time Team Hell No vs. The Shield on RAW.

When the old clips stock, we get a commercial on Dolph Ziggler that is pretty awesome but it turns out it is only hyping WWE Magazine.  I can’t remember last time I saw an issue but I do hope to see more reviews from Connor “King Kamala” McGrath, right here on Culture Crossfire.

Back in from commercial is the 3 Stage of Hell promo for Payback.

Whistles blow, I’m happy, it is THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS!

As some little boys that look like little girls boo the amazing team in the ring, Justin Gabriel is coming out.  Striker suddenly is playing heel, as he endorsed the Players and says he can’t stand Gabriel because he always comes up to you and brags about jumping out of planes.  I guess he just hates Gabriel because he says amazing stuff about Sin Cara.  He says they will make an interesting team before saying he hates Justin Gabriel because his sister has a crush on the Capetown Werewolf. #UnbiasedJournalism.

Prime Time Players vs. Justin Gabriel & Sin Cara

Sin Cara and D. Young start off in the ring.  As the back into the corner, Young quickly scuffles out of the ring.  As Titus checks on him, Sin Cara does a baseball slide to break it up and the commentary team just starts listing off names of Mexican baseball players.

Gabriel in with Young and he ties his former Nexus stablemate up, only to make another quick tag to Sin Cara.  Sin Cara works over Young in the corner, another quick tag and Gabriel hits a nice floatover suplex for a two-count.

Gabriel grounding Young.  Not sure where this match was taped but the crowd is loudly chanting WE WANT TITUS.  Classic.

Back from commercial, Young is in control but Gabriel breaks the submission and gets Sin Cara in.  Young moves Sin Cara into his corner and Titus gets tagged in for the first time and the crowd goes bonkers.  Titus flips Sin Cara but the Mexican grappler tries to reverse the tide, going to take out the legs of O’Neil.  As Sin Cara tries to get fancy off the ropes, Titus catches him and slams him.  The crowd loves Titus and I love this crowd.

Darren back in and now the PTP on the offense and doing the quick tags they were victim of earlier  A couple exchanges.  Sin Cara fights him way out of a lock up, flips out of a Darren suplex and is able to enziguri to get to Gabriel who dives in with a nice crossbody.  Tony Dawson tries to say Capetown Werewolf but says something else.  Too weird to get.

Nice tornado DDT by Gabriel to Young and Titus breaks the count.  Sin Cara takes out Titus, takes down a charging Young and dives off the top to Titus.  Gabriel up top for his 450 splash and the crowd is going crazy for him being up there.  This has to be a Canadian crowd, I just remembered where RAW was.

Winners: Justin Gabriel & Sin Cara

We get some highlights of the match.  The high-flyers celebrate in the ring and we see the PTP shamefully head to the back before hyping we can FINALLY see the Cena/Axel match from Monday. Hallelujah.

Another nearly 5 minutes of the Cena-Ryback, hey Axel was there getting a win, Superstars ends.  Woo-wee.

WWE Superstars Win/ Loss Totals (beginning May 16, 2013)

Sin Cara                                                                2-0

Cameron                                                             1-0

Brodus Clay                                                        1-0

Justin Gabriel                                                     1-0

Naomi                                                                   1-0

R-Truth                                                                 1-0

Cody Rhodes                                                     1-0

Tensai                                                                   1-0

Brie Bella                                                             0-1

Nikki Bella                                                           0-1

Antonio Cesaro                                                 0-1

Michael McGillicutty                                       0-1

Titus O’Neil                                                         0-1

Jey Uso                                                                0-1

Jimmy Uso                                                          0-1

Darren Young                                                    0-1

Alex Riley                                                            0-2


Written by B. Patrick

Currently residing in Phoenix, Arizona, B. Patrick's interests include comedy, basketball, wrestling, comic books and can change as quickly as a butterfly flaps its wings.

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