WWE Superstars – November 14, 2013

WWE Superstars – 11/14/2013

Somebody Call My Momma Hits, which I feel is how this show opens almost every week.  Probably just change the theme song to this.  Just not the awful JoJo the Total Diva version.  If JoJo wanted to be entertaining, she’d take after her dad Jose and attack people with bats.

It is a Divas tag team bout so not only do we get Naomi this week but the people of the UK really needed to get to see Cameron compete live.

Alex Riley is getting funky and talking Total Divas while the team of Alicia Fox and Aksana make their way to the ring.  The announce team discusses Aksana & Alicia’s recent match with the Bellas on Main Event.  Alicia and Aksana hug and the match sets to begin.

The Funkadactyls vs. Alicia Fox and Aksana

The two workhorses, Naomi and Alicia, start this match.  As they square off, Riley talks about Naomi being the most athletic person in the WWE but tries to relate her to an athlete from this decade this week.

Aksana comes in, Cameron goes in and out, meanwhile A-Ry is talking about women’s ability to dance.

Aksana nails a slam on Naomi and starts crawling around the ring.  The crowd starts chanting “THIS IS AWESOME”.  We will see if in addition to adding YES! to his repertoire, Big Show starts crawling around the ring like a cat.

Alicia back in and Riley actually references Big Johnny Ace finding her in a fashion catalog.  Always love that story.

Cameron hits an ugly hurricanrana as the announcers talk about her making catchphrases on Total Divas.

Cameron shouts “GIRL-BYE” and hits a jumping DDT on Alicia.

Poor Alicia.

Winners: The Funkadactyls


Cameron and Naomi hug.  Alex Riley quotes George Clinton.

Advertised next is the Handicap Match of Randy Orton vs. The Rhodes Bros.

The previously advertised segment airs.

Recapped Handicapped Madness continues with the clipped version of Cena vs. The Real Americans airing.

The Great Khali makes his way to the ring and as Josh identifies him as a former World Heavyweight Champion, Justin Roberts announces this will be a six-man tag match.

The Usos make their way out to partner with Khali.

Darren Young and Titus come out smiling and dancing, it must be a six-man babyface off.

The Miz is out next.  He starts doing the Millions of Dollars dance.


The Great Khali & The Usos vs. The Primetime Players & The Miz

Riley stated he didn’t think anyone could beat Khali & The Usos but raved about the combination on the other side of the ring.  He wants Titus versus Khali.

Miz and Jey Uso start the match, reversing a bunch of nearfalls on each other.

Miz goes for a submission, Uso shakes him and Miz applauds him.  Khali slaps himself in and the crowd boos.  Miz brings in Titus and Josh compares the battle to that of “two Transformers”.  I wish Khali would turn into something else…

Khali starts chopping Titus.  Not fair.

Titus brings in Darren, who gets downed immediately.  Khali does the chop to Darren, who brings in Young.  The former WWE champion gets driven to the corner but takes the chop better than his partners.  Khali dumps him over the ropes but the crowd hates him for it.

Miz and the PTP try regrouping on the outside and the show takes a quick break.

Back to action Miz is working over an Uso.  Darren Young comes in and it appears The Miz/PTP team is dominant unless they are facing The Great Khali.

Not sure what to say.

Titus gets some offense, blows the whistle, gets The Miz in.  Miz continues to battle an Uso, who eventually rolls him up for a two.

Jey is brought back to the corner of Miz’s team, where Titus is brought back in the ring.  Titus whips Jey to the corner and flattens him.

Jey sneaks away from Titus and both men down, they tag their usual partners, as Jimmy Uso and Darren Young come in.

Shades of NXT 2012, the two battle in the ring.  Titus knocks Khali off the apron and madness ensues, the legal men are Jimmy Uso and Darren Young.  Darren has Jimmy up for his finisher, Uso gets out and gets a tag.  Jey Uso splash for the victory.

Winners: The Usos & The Great Khali

In the end, the actual pushed entity in the ring, the Usos, got the pinfall at least.

The Shield-Bryan/Punk handicap match is advertised to be replayed next.

Recap Handicap wraps up another Superstars.


WWE Superstars Win/ Loss Totals (beginning May 16, 2013)

Damien Sandow                                               5-0

Natalya                                                                 3-0

Sin Cara                                                                3-0

The Great Khali                                                 2-0

Layla                                                                      2-0

Christian                                                              1-0

Fandango                                                            1-0

Cody Rhodes                                                     1-0

Ryback                                                                  1-0

Jack Swagger                                                     1-0

Rob Van Dam                                                     1-0

Antonio Cesaro                                                 4-1

R-Truth                                                                 4-1

Brodus Clay                                                        3-1

Jey Uso                                                                                3-1

Jimmy Uso                                                          3-1

Kofi Kingston                                                     4-2

Naomi                                                                   4-2

Tensai                                                                   3-2

Cameron                                                             2-1

Big E Langston                                                   2-1

The Miz                                                                          2-1

Dolph Ziggler                                                      2-1

Wade Barrett                                                     1-1

Curtis Axel / Michael McGillicutty             1-1

Santino Marella                                                                1-1

Tamina Snuka                                                    1-1

Justin Gabriel                                                     3-4

Titus O’Neil                                                         2-4

Zack Ryder                                                          2-7

Heath Slater                                                       1-3

Darren Young                                                    1-6

Brie Bella                                                             0-1

Nikki Bella                                                           0-1

Brooklyn Brawler                                             0-1

Epico                                                                     0-1

Kaitlyn                                                                  0-1

Big E Langston                                                   0-1

Primo                                                                    0-1

Aksana                                                                 0-2

Curt Hawkins                                                     0-2

JTG                                                                         0-2

Alex Riley                                                            0-2

Alicia Fox                                                             0-3

Jinder Mahal                                                      0-4

Drew McIntyre                                                   0-5



Written by B. Patrick

Currently residing in Phoenix, Arizona, B. Patrick's interests include comedy, basketball, wrestling, comic books and can change as quickly as a butterfly flaps its wings.

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