WWE Superstars – 10/31/2013
When Aksana is the episode graphic on Hulu, you know it is going to be a solid show…
The Funkadactyls come out dancing and Brodus Clay comes out as well. Looks like Naomi will be in singles action. Tensai has too much to do to be here apparently.
Here’s Aksana. She is accompanied by Alicia Fox. Now we know why Brodus is here.
Naomi vs. Aksana
Brodus took off his clothes to stand ringside too. Cool.
Aksana gets a quick advantage as we hear about her success in the Arnold Classic. Naomi makes a big hit and starts smiling and clapping and we hear that Total Divas will be back soon.
Aksana nails a back suplex and drops an elbow to the head. Despite my jokes, Aksana may have improved some.
Fox is applauding ringside while A-Ry talks about Aksana being like Michelle Pfieffer Catwoman, not Halle Berry or Anne Hathaway but specifically Michelle.
Aksana carries around Naomi yelling “You want some?” before dropping Naomi. She kicks the Total Diva in the face while Riley and Phillips are still trying to figure out what Batman movie was Batman Returns.
Aksana continues the control and undressed Brodus now has Naomi’s pom poms.
Naomi rolls up Aksana a few times before both women do a double clothesline.
Both up, Aksana misses a clothesline, the former Orlando Magic dancer Naomi nails a jumping head scissor take down and uses some unusual offense.
Riley calls Naomi Lebron James because he is apparently racist.
Aksana taunts Naomi but Naomi hits that Rear View butt smack for the win.
Cameron and Brodus come in the ring celebrating with the winner.
Cena’s return on RAW is advertised as being up next.
The show joins the Cena-Sandow match in progress, not discussing the cash in or anything surrounding the match happening other than Cena’s arm.
Daniel Bryan-HBK segment airs.
Kofi Kingston comes down to the ring for singles action.
His opponent is announced as Santino Marella. While these two battled for the Intercontinental Championship on Pay Per View in the past, odd to have this face versus face match on Superstars.
Kofi Kingston vs. Santino Marella
We hear how Kingston just opened a Yoga place in Tampa, as well as the frequently promoted Marella Battle Arts. We hear how both men have held the US, IC and Tag titles and the announcers say both men have had very similar careers. Never forget 2009, Kofi.
Kofi rolls up Santino off a power-walk but Santino trades a pinfall attempt with Kingston.
They trade move for move – arm drags, hip toss, dropkicks. Kofi kips up, so Santino throws himself on the mat and is unable to do it. The crowd chants for it to the delight of Riley.
Marella throws Kingston to the outside but Kofi skins the cat. They copy the spot where Santino struggles to do it. Kofi pulls a heel move by tipping Santino back to the outside.
Kofi acts like he is going to leap onto Santino, who backs away. Kofi laughs, Santino looks frustrated and the match goes to commercial.
Returning from break, Santino is tied up by Kingston. The Milan Miracle gets out of the move and tries for a cover but only gets a one count. Santino wraps Kingston around the waist and yells at him to give up.
The announcers talk WWE 2K14 and when Phillips states he can have any match he wants, pointing out “Doctor of Thuganomics” Cena vs. current Cena, Riley pushes for Nick Bockwinkel versus Retro Nick Bockwinkel. Phillips questions what Retro Nick Bockwinkel would be.
The two in the ring just continue to do even exchanges before Kofi finally hits a Boom Drop. He signals for Trouble in Paradise. I cannot remember the last time he got it on first attempt and that continues. Kofi goes into the ropes.
Santino goes for the Cobra, he nails Kofi with the Cobra and Kofi falls outside of the ring, out cold.
Santino makes the pin but Kofi is in the ropes. He pulls him away and makes the pin but enough time passed for a kickout. The crowd boos.
Kofi hits a Trouble in Paradise, not on Santino, but on the Cobra. Kofi makes the pin for three.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
The two go for a handshake, Kofi makes Santino remove the Cobra sleeve first. Both men hug and they let Santino celebrate to his music.
The WWE Championship segment from RAW airs to close out the show.
WWE Superstars Win/ Loss Totals (beginning May 16, 2013)
Damien Sandow 5-0
Sin Cara 3-0
The Miz 2-0
The Great Khali 1-0
Cody Rhodes 1-0
Jack Swagger 1-0
Rob Van Dam 1-0
Antonio Cesaro 4-1
Brodus Clay 3-1
Kofi Kingston 4-2
Big E Langston 2-1
Jey Uso 2-1
Jimmy Uso 2-1
Dolph Ziggler 2-1
Wade Barrett 1-1
Curtis Axel / Michael McGillicutty 1-1
Santino Marella 1-1
Tamina Snuka 1-1
Justin Gabriel 3-4
Titus O’Neil 2-3
Heath Slater 1-3
Darren Young 1-5
Zack Ryder 1-7
Brie Bella 0-1
Nikki Bella 0-1
Brooklyn Brawler 0-1
Alicia Fox 0-1
Big E Langston 0-1
Curt Hawkins 0-2
Alex Riley 0-2
Jinder Mahal 0-3
Drew McIntyre 0-5