WWE Superstars – 9/26/2013
WOO WOO WOO, You Know It! Zack Ryder prances out first for what Justin Roberts informs us will be a tag team match.
Tom Phillips gets the call-up on the announce table, while is far better than Tony Dawson.
Justin Gabriel is out to partner with Ryder again.
Big E Langston’s music hits for their first opponent. Langston teamed with Fandango on the previous night’s edition of Main Event but it is doubtful that partnership will be renewed based on what transpired in their loss to Number One Contenders, The Usos.
Instead it’s Damien Sandow’s to a decent reaction from the crowd and Mr. Money in the Bank will team with Langston.
Zack Ryder & Justin Gabriel vs. Big E Langston & Damien Sandow
Matthews and Phillips discuss the possibilities of Sandow truly winning the World Heavyweight Championship with the briefcase as Gabriel and Sandow circle off.
Gabriel twists and turns out of an armbar by Sandow and as he reverses it, the Capetown Werewolf tags in Long Island Iced Z for some tandem teamwork.
Ryder takes control over Sandow but utilizes a tag to Gabriel for some more high impact damage to the arm of Damien Sandow, which Ryder and Gabriel are working over.
Gabriel does a cartwheel over Sandow and then an arm-drag as the announcers talk about the upsides of Big E Langston, who has been isolated on the apron as Justin and Zack have maintained control. Gabriel works over Sandow in a corner, tags back in Zack Ryder, who makes a quick move before receiving a punch from Sandow. Sandow manages to tag in Langston and Phillips does a good job of calling back to the recent Ryder-Langston match from Superstars a few weeks back.
Langston punishes Ryder and send him to the outside as the show hits its first commercial.
As Superstars returns, Langston performs a big splash on Zack Ryder for a near-fall. Sandow tags his way back into the match, delivering a quick suplex as Matthews lets viewers know who Tom Phillips is once more.
Sandow tries to wear down Ryder who rallies briefly before getting knocked down and receiving the Elbow of Disdain for a two count.
Sandow ties up Ryder a little more before bringing Langston in, who carries Ryder around, occasionally dropping him across his knee for punishment. After a failed attempt, Sandow is brought back in. He shouts “You’re Welcome” at the crowd but Ryder slips out of what appears to be a suplex attempt, hits a neck-breaker and we have both men crawling to their corners.
Gabriel and Langston come in at the same time and Gabriel uses his speed to get around Big E. Kicks connect to daze Big E and Justin howls, diving in the ring onto Langston.
Sandow breaks up the pin attempt and Ryder and Langston go to the outside. Isolated in the ring, Langston punishes Gabriel, drops the straps and hits the Big Ending.
Winners: Big E Langston & Damien Sandow
It is excellent to see Sandow celebrating to Langston’s entrance theme. As they stand in the ring satisfied, The Great Khali’s music hits and he and Hornswoggle make their way to the ring, walking over Ryder and Gabriel, laying on the mat.
Knowing the match is over, Langston just takes off while Sandow receives a big chop from Khali. Khali and Hornswoggle dance in the ring. A goofy white guy dances outside. A couple of kids dance while a solemn guy in a Sin Cara mask stands with arms crossed nearby. Interesting end of a match all around.
A recap of Miz TV with Miz and The Big Show airs.
The CM Punk-Heyman-Ryback story is recapped.
After two recap segments, we come back to the theme music of Tons of Funk. The stars of Total Divas, the Funkadactyls, are dancing and Brodus and Tensai are out next.
Cameron and Naomi do their thing and we see the dancing kids from the Khali segment again. Sadly unimpressed Sin Cara is not in this shot.
Brodus and Tensai wear some Phoenix Suns colors, giving me something further to be reminded and depressed about while I realize I am watching Superstars.
The Real Americans come out next and Cesaro and Swagger charge the ring waving their flags.
Tons of Funk vs. The Real Americans
As Swagger and Tensai start things off, a very strong WE THE PEOPLE chant gets going. Tensai knocks down Jack and tags in Brodus. As they whip the former World Heavyweight Champion across the ring to prepare for a double team move, Swagger catches himself in the ropes and tags in Cesaro.
Cesaro gets slammed by Clay and Big Brodus brings Tensai back in. Sweet T does a power move to Cesaro akin to what he usually does to his prey. Tensai holds Cesaro with a double underhook upside down for a long time and the announcers determine who is better to look at – The Funkadactyls or Zeb Colter.
Tensai tags in Brodus and they knock Swagger off the apron. Tensai splashes Antonio then holds Cesaro in the corner to allow Brodus to get a splash in. As the referee wrangles Tensai back to his corner, Swagger smashes the head of Brodus into the ringpost. Antonio rolls him up and the Real Americans get a quick victory.
Winner: The Real Americans
The Real Americans celebrate their win but it will probably be short-lived, as rumors are they are to be the first victims of the debuting LOS MATADORES!
Recaps of the WWE Championship fallout from Night of Champions leading into the 11-on-3 Handicap match air to wrap up another edition of Superstars.
WWE Superstars Win/ Loss Totals (beginning May 16, 2013)
Sin Cara 3-0
Big E Langston 2-0
The Miz 2-0
Damien Sandow 2-0
The Great Khali 1-0
Santino Marella 1-0
Cody Rhodes 1-0
Jack Swagger 1-0
Antonio Cesaro 4-1
Brodus Clay 3-1
Kofi Kingston 3-1
Justin Gabriel 3-2
Jey Uso 2-1
Jimmy Uso 2-1
Wade Barrett 1-1
Curtis Axel / Michael McGillicutty 1-1
Dolph Ziggler 1-1
Titus O’Neil 2-3
Heath Slater 1-3
Darren Young 1-5
Zack Ryder 1-7
Brie Bella 0-1
Nikki Bella 0-1
Brooklyn Brawler 0-1
Alicia Fox 0-1
Curt Hawkins 0-1
Big E Langston 0-1
Tamina Snuka 0-1
Alex Riley 0-2
Jinder Mahal 0-3
Drew McIntyre 0-5