Skinemax and your pre-internet spank bank

[BruiserBrody]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1389712908637069319

Middle school was of course the peak of self loving, but with the internet barely being a thing in 94-96ish, we had to make due.

My buddy legit had like a Shopko bra ad I found by his bed one day for instance.

But the real treat was heading to the trailer court where my other comrade had Cinemax. We spent hours on Friday nights watching smut as his mother slept a few rooms away. This was a broken family, with the mother working and trying to raise 3 boys with their Dad elsewhere. So many memories of their house:
Reggie White, a dog who humped pillows and came all over the place.
A hole in the wall where a drunken boyfriend had punched a hole in.
The night we called a gay sex chat line for the lulz (and got me banned for a while from visiting as we ran up a 20 dollar bill or something like that.)
Hillbilly Brody being worried we were about to commit a hate crime when my buddy asked if I wanted to go "Ni__er knocking" which is known more widely as "Ding Dong Ditch"
And waking up very early to watch WCW Pro only a few hours of sleep after Skinemax went back to normal TV.
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My video sexual awakening was "Emmanuelle 2: The Joys of a Woman. This introduced me to lesbians, finger fucking, doggy style, voyeurisms, rape, and dirty 70s style sex. I think my love of pussy hair stems from this movie. No Hair, No Flair indeed.
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I actually got in trouble in middle school in the Fall of 94 (I remember because I had a Hulk Hogan comes to WCW PWI with me) as me and my buddy vividly described the porn we had watched to a school bus full of people, including the bus driver who heard it all.

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I have a white whale of Skinemax porn. It's been 25 years or so, but the story was about a royalty member who brought a woman in to be either his maid or maybe his nephew's tutor or something like that. Of course she ends up seducing the virgin nephew, encouraging him to "suckle her fruits" as he had done as an infant.
The older royal member discovers the fuck fests that are happening and banishes the woman away. The final scene is of a very large woman waddling in to be the replacement.

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TL, DR - Favorite Skinemax films or other spanking materials for us pre-internet barbarians. ,

 

[King Kamala]

TMI...I never got the appeal of watching of porn or skin flicks with friends for the lulz. At least back then. I could probably tolerate it now, theoretically but it'd be super weird if one of my thirtysomething friends put on a skin flick.

In my more virile days, I never liked watching Skinemax with my friends because RE: of my level of attraction to performers on screen, I'd always feel the urge to masturbate but I was way too bashful to whip it out and crank it in front of another straight dude.

 

[BruiserBrody]

I think personally it would be weirder to watch it now w/ a gathering.

Back then it was more of a locker room/nudie bar kind of situation where we were all geeked up to see tits. The internet and age has certainly removed the appeal.

I saw this a year or 2 ago on TBS and fucking HOWLED. I find the first 25 seconds to be very spot on.

 

[King Kamala]

I think personally it would be weirder to watch it now w/ a gathering.

Ykw. You're right. I don't want to watch porn with anyone else (except maybe a sexual partner) at any age.

Comparing it to strip clubs seems a bit of false equivalency, for me at least. Part of the appeal of strip and burlesque stuff is the tease. When you take that away and are just watching outright sexual activity, that just seems like something best enjoyed from the comfort of your own home.

This thread is making me realize I'm much more of a prude than I thought maybe...

 

[BruiserBrody]

I own a copy of Stallone's porn he made pre-Rocky. It is the 2nd most bothersome porno I own. 1st place belongs to a gross gross gross scene that came on after the feature attraction of my "One Night in Chyna" VHS.

I'm set in my damn ways now. Same handful of stuff when needed for the most part. Nothing would be from even the 2000s if I hadn't found the twin towers known as Hitomi Tanaka. And believe me, searching though Japan's twisted porn makes me feel like a prude at times with as far out there as they go.
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This is softcore, but got rave reviews when we watched it as a group with my co-workers:

 

[Incandenza]

Hoping to catch a bit of tit on the scrambled Playboy channel because it was 1 in the afternoon and your mom and sister went to a movie and you didn't go and you had pretty much no other option for jerkin' it outside your imagination

 

[Incandenza]

I had a Playboy and a couple issues of Gallery I stole from my friend's dad's extensive collection but you could only spank it so much to the same pictures

 

[King Kamala]

Fun fact: I have never looked at a porno magazine (or a Playboy). I'm probably at the age cutoff where looking magazines was still a thing. Anyone slightly older than me has probably looked at one.

I do remember, when I was a middle schooler, lingering outside the small adult section at the neighborhood video store at the dudes who walked out of there. #KinkShamingKamala

 

[Dandy]

I had a Playboy and a couple issues of Gallery I stole from my friend's dad's extensive collection but you could only spank it so much to the same pictures

Was that today?

 

[Incandenza]

After I posted that I looked up Gallery to see if it's still a thing and yes, it is.

Never swiped any Penthouse because my friend's dad didn't have many issues of it. The guy was a racist shithead and probably thought something like this was disrespectful:

 

[Epic Springs]

I never owned a Playboy but I did browse through the pages of ones that belonged to friend's dads or older brothers. I remember when the Sable Playboy issue came out, I was in middle school and my friend somehow got a hold of one and was giving viewings of it in bathroom stalls at school.

I've never paid for porn, by the time I was discovering it, downloading was already a thing so I saw a lot of earlier Bangbus and MILF Hunter that way. Now with streaming services, it's even easier.

I've never watched porn with friends but I've totally watched adult film parodies with buddies and we would riff on it throughout. Lots of gems dating back from high school (Playmate of the Apes, Spider-Babe, Da Vinci Coed, Devil Wears Nada, etc.)

 

[King Kamala]

I do remember in late elementary or early middle school, one of my classmates showed a porno magazine in the bathroom stalls and I either outright declined (see my post earlier ITT) or didn't get there in time cause I didn't see it. But everyone I know who went said it was a photo of a woman peeing on another naked woman and I was relieved I didn't see it. #DirtyDads #KinkShamingKamala

 

[Dandy]

Full disclosure on my post: I meant to quote the previous post by Incandenza, which I thought would have been funnier in absurdist humor.

Now I feel more embarrassed than @King Kamala seeing a Hustler or a Hot Dick in Uniform magazine.

 

[BUTT]

My brother used to tape softcore movies off of TV (as he had a VCR and cable box in his room and I did not) and I would watch them when no one else was home. The first movie I ever beat to was called Seduce Me: The Pamela Principle II. I've never seen part 1, but as I understand it the plots are barely related.

Guess Youtube won't let you view it embedded in my post but that's probably for the best. Y'all don't need my Claude avatar smirking at you while you whack it.

EDIT: Just want to add that this was not an arrangement between my brother and I. He was taping them for himself. Actually I was a bit annoyed that he taped over Rocky V with Seduce Me but I got over it because of the tits.

 

[geniusMoment]

I was never into magazines. Just seemed pointless, and I might as well just use my imagination.

Now, scrambled porn channels, that is another story entirely. The best was when the cable service would unscramble the feed by mistake. Those were VCR days.

There is also that period in-between when streaming became huge but there was internet around to find stuff. I call that the Christina Model era.

 

[Laz]

Emmanuelle in Bangkok brings back memories. Skinemax helped a pre-internet Laz out quite a bit, that's for sure.

I stole, like, a LOT of magazines from my dad's dresser and closet. He, uhhh...turns out the old man was into some kinky shit, in hindsight. The first hardcore flick I ever watched was an Italian release from the early 80s called Pleasure So Deep. I found it on a tube site some years back. Still held up, as far as early 80s Italian porn goes.

 

[Incandenza]

If my friend's dad ever noticed some missing mags from his large collection I never heard about it. I didn't tell my friend I had taken them and he never said anything to me any of the number of times I was invited back to his house afterwards. I limited myself to three, though. I didn't want to risk being found out any more than necessary.

 

[BruiserBrody]

Fun fact: I have never looked at a porno magazine (or a Playboy). I'm probably at the age cutoff where looking magazines was still a thing. Anyone slightly older than me has probably looked at one.

I do remember, when I was a middle schooler, lingering outside the small adult section at the neighborhood video store at the dudes who walked out of there. #KinkShamingKamala

I find this control over the natural powers of puberty fascinating.
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The only playboy I ever bought was in the mid-2000s when I scored a 70s one on ebay with my man Burt Reynolds on the cover.

That reminds me that I got the RAW magazine in 1996 with Sunny and Sable running around in underwear. Sunny was the cover my subscription sent and her nightie was not subtle. My Dad's reaction was "Why the hell can HE buy this kind of thing and I can't?"

My Mother actually found my porn pics file on our CPU in 99/00 ish. She read me the riot act like a good Catholic mother,

God damn it, that reminds me that my Dad actually caught me one day in 2001 while enjoying myself. He didn't want to believe what he saw I guess and asked me later if my jeans had caused me to break out in a rash from the friction while working in a hot ass factory.
I've told that story on TSM many moons ago because Milky had to one up me and say his mother caught him and he hadn't bothered to even break stride until she left.

 

[SFH]

Not sure how they had it set up, but my best friend's parents had a Cinemax subscription that was only accessible in their room. My house only had HBO which did have risque stuff late night (including a show called Real Sex) but overall I only saw "Skinemax" 2-3 times a year between age 14-17 (not 100% sure of ages). My friend had 3 siblings so the chances to watch the forbidden channel were limited to when his parents went on vacation and asked my parents if they could send me over for the weekend since I was a square and could keep him in line better than any babysitter could (not sure why they didn't just ship him to my place?). As soon as his brother left to go party with his friends we'd watch all the aforementioned stuff and then make sure to put the TV back on whatever channel it was originally on.

In the context of what's available on the internet now the stuff was pretty tame in comparison, but it at least gave us a general idea of what we had to do when we eventually would get girlfriends (we both had girlfriends by age 16). We already had prior access to magazines at another friend's house, this was just the next step in learning from media since apparently our elders weren't ever going to have "the talk" and school sex ed was science based only (Catholic church had a version of Sex ed too but it was very much vocabulary words & dissuading only). Of course when I would actually get the chance to try "it" with a partner, I found out some of the positioning in the movies were a little inaccurate as to how things worked in real time. Apparently women don't actually sit on your stomach during intercourse.

I recognize the Emmanuelle titles. I think there was another reoccurring series. Sometimes a ridiculous comedy would sneak in (Sex and the Single Alien was a hoot).

Things didn't really get too interesting for me until after I was already sexually active and in my later half of my junior year of high school. Sr had a friend that could reprogram satellite access cards for some generic get up they bought at Radio Shack or something. I don't remember the details. All I know is every channel imaginable was suddenly accessible. During sports seasons, I had every game. Wrestling PPVs? Had them. Basically the black box but a credit card looking thing in our satellite receiver. Obviously, as a teenage boy, I had one singular destination when I was home alone.

And other than watching Skinemax in the same room as my friend, obviously on opposite sides of the room because "bruh don't be gross" I never intentionally watched anything NC17 or higher with anyone that wasn't a sexual partner. One night I was with a girlfriend watching a PPV at her Uncle's house and he put it on Spice for a minute just to see my reaction, I was put off by how crass it was of him. And another time in college we were hanging at a guy's house and he put on random porn, again as a "see everyone's reaction" type gag, but other than that, watching porn with a crowd isn't something I'm into. Bourbon street does have a live sex act bar, but I'm not sure exactly what goes on in there, I'm not paying $30 cover to find out.

Good talk guys, good talk.

 

[BruiserBrody]

Scorned

After a Truman desperately prostitutes his wife Patricia to his boss to gain a promotion, he not only loses the promotion, but is fired. Humiliated, Truman commits suicide and Patricia vows revenge. Obtaining a job as tutor to the son of the man who got her husband's promotion, Patricia begins...

www.tcm.com

90's Thriller Throwback: Payback (1995)

From The Director of Waxwork and Full Eclipse Comes a Sexy Thriller That Delivers The Goods by robotGEEK Having always been a big fan ...

www.robotgeekscultcinema.com

These 2 are softcore stuff with actual solid plot from what I recall. Payback especially left an impression during the middle school days.
Makes you wish the Hulkster and Vince went for that hard R with Joan Severance in No Holds Barred motel scene!

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I am amused watching guys climax quickly in these softcore flix. And rarely does anyone sweat from the fucking.
Amityville: It's about Time had a great sex scene illustrating the sweaty nature of proper sexual delight.
Stripped to Kill is a Knock off of Dressed to Kill or whatever that 80s movie was called. Anyway the guy in Stripped cums fast and the female actually acknowledges it, unlike most of these 3 mins bang bang scenes.

Can we call in Crucifixo Jones in to give us a proper lesson in porn?

 

[King Kamala]

I watched way more Real Sex than Skinemax and I thought it would teach me the real ins & outs (heh) of sex unlike sex education. I didn't gain much education on the art of lovemaking but it did establish a strong anti kinkshaming stance, long before I probably should have had any concepts of kink in general.

Episode where they visited a cunnilingus workshop permanently scarred me. They had stuff that was 1000x grosser and weirder but for some reason, THAT is the one that stands out in my mind. I'm afraid that before I die, the image of a morbidly obese man voraciously licking a slice of fruit from that episode will flash before my eyes instead of my loved ones.

 

[SFH]

I remember something on a Real Sex episode that involved a segment 15 minutes in with 5 or so grown men in a circle dancing naked with their business on camera flopping around ala "Helicopter dick." I think the reason it only stands out to me is within a month or so my 8th grade English teacher (so that time stamps the event around 94/95) also referenced how gross HBO has gotten. "I don't want to be watching TV late at night and suddenly see a group of naked men in a circle dancing around." He was a really awesome teacher and person so I didn't raise my hand to say, "so you've been watching Real Sex?" Definitely tipped his hand that he's human and not some infallible all knowing figure. Probably was already a top 5 all time educator in my life, and then he outs himself as watching naughty things, but dressing it up as disgust, amused me. The segment was near the middle of the show. You knew what you were doing.

 

[BruiserBrody]

That reminds me of a Fri night in high school where my buddy got a free hotel suite since he mother worked at the place so 4 of us stayed the night so we could use the pool and "party". We watched ECW on TNN at a time when I still did have cable so ECW was very unique to see overall for me. (IIRC Mike Awesome vs Scorpio and New Jack, Sandman and others in a 6 man brawl).
After that some of us watched some sort of sex documentary on HBO or another channel. In the other room the rest of the guys were watching some action movie. So when a scene came on with a circle jerk over a slice of bread, we rushed in the other room and turned their TV to this scene. 20 years later "the bread game" remains part of our running jokes.

 

[SFH]

Sounds like the sloppy biscuit game.

 

[Valeyard]

Resent Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS being here when Ilsa: The Wicked Warden and to a lesser extent Ilsa Harem Keeper Of The Oil Sheiks are arguably superior in content and storytelling.

 

[strummer]

I think I posted this in another thread but Skinemax staple Nikki Fritz died last year (Feb 2020). That really bummed me out. And then Julie Strain earlier this year. Brutal.

 

[Valeyard]

Misty Mundae best live forever.

 

[BruiserBrody]

Resent Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS being here when Ilsa: The Wicked Warden and to a lesser extent Ilsa Harem Keeper Of The Oil Sheiks are arguably superior in content and storytelling.

*Deletes lengthy dissertation on cranking possibilities of each scene.

Real answer: I only watched She Wolf in full. The others haven't found their way into my DVD pile.

 

[Laz]

Sounds like the sloppy biscuit game.

 

[Laz]

Misty Mundae best live forever.

...yes. This is a proper wish. The shitty softcore flicks she's in are delightfully silly and she is adorable.