CXF Seasonal Viewings: Holidazed 2024

[Big Papa Paegan]

With how many of us actively focus on seasonally relevant movies between October and December, it's high time we congregate into one big viewing list that anyone participating can weigh in on.

Since October is already full steam ahead, it doesn't make sense to start with horror movies to get us in the mood for Halloween, so let's plan ahead for the Holiday Season. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, etc. Any genre. The only rule is that the holiday has to be integral to the story (which means Die Hard is fair game, but Lethal Weapon isn't).

Ideally, we'll come up with a list of movies and share what platform they're available on, so that any one of us can enjoy it.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Alright folks, reading @Youth N Asia 's foray into the Silent Night, Deadly Night series is our pre-season kickoff.

Let's come up with the list. Movie title, and the service to find it on.

1. It's a Wonderful Life (Prime)

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Christmas Do-Over (2006 with Jay Mohr) can be seen on Prime & Roku. It's a decent little era classic take on Groundhog Day just Christmas themed with Mohr's character trying to have a Christmas dinner with his ex-wife/son.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Dear Santa with Jack Black wasn't bad actually. It blends adult humor with family friendliness pretty well. I say this ages better than most recent holiday films.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer holds up pretty well for the most part although the Abominable (Snowman) is kind of a pretty lame antagonist and some of the Misfit Toys didn't look that misfit!

The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy: Billy & Mandy Save Christmas (S4x14) was a lot of fun to watch although the arc of Mrs. Claus was kind of feh by the end. Santa being a 'vampire' was pretty entertaining though.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Let It Snow (2019) feels like a Lifetime Original version of what would happen when the ghost of John Hughes decides to blend Love, Actually and Empire Records. That's a mouthful of an analogy, but I assure you that it's an accurate one. Adapted from the fix-up novel of the same name by John Green, Lauren Myracle, and Maureen Johnson, where it fails in plotting it makes up for with a strong and charming cast.

To break it down as easily as possible:
On Christmas Eve, the high school seniors of Laurel, IL have their lives intersect in various ways during a snowstorm. Julie (Isabela Merced) is accepted to Columbia University but doesn't want to go as she's focused on caring for her terminally ill mother, and her paths cross on a train with hit singer Stuart Bryant (Shameik Moore), who's looking to get away from the hustle of his fame for a few days. Tobin (Mitchell Hope) tries to muster the courage to tell his best friend Angie (Kiernan Shipka), who he nicknamed "the Duke" back in kindergarten, that he's in love with her, but his plans are thrown off when he senses that she has an interest in college freshman JP (Matthew Noszka) who's come home for the holidays. Addie (Odeya Rush) is desperately trying to get her boyfriend Jeb (Mason Gooding) to call/text her back, as her mother has left her alone to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend, and eventually finds herself relying on the town's crazy lady (Joan Cusack) to get around town. Dorrie (Liv Hewson) hooked up with cheerleader Kerry (Anna Akana) at a party the week before and has been thinking about it ever since, but Kerry has been ignoring her. Keon (Jacob Batalon) had plans to throw an epic house party as his family was going away, but their flight was canceled and so, too, were his plans.

All of their stories intertwine and resolve at the Waffle Town restaurant, where several characters work.

This is such a mediocre movie brought up by the quality of its cast that it isn't even funny, but that's the real charm of it. Give it another 10-20 minutes of runtime to flesh out certain stories, cut others down a bit, and this would be a legitimately good movie. As it is, it feels like so many other Netflix originals, where there just isn't enough care in the editing room to make something special and just push push push the content.

But hey, it's fucking Christmas, boys n' girls, and this is an enjoyable little comedy that feels like the cheap candy your aunt sends you for a stocking stuffer. It isn't great, you wouldn't seek it out any other time of year, but dammit it feels like Christmas. 6/10

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Enough with the dumb "it counts, it doesn't count" arguments. Die Hard (1989) counts in my book, and it's required viewing in this house.

9.5/10, it's a classic and we all know it. Yippie-ki-yay.

 

[Valeyard]

The original airing of the Muppet Family Christmas, with the commercials and songs before copyright hit, is top two of all time. Only one that works as much is Blackadder's Christmas Carol which is masterful.

Most of the Doctor Who Christmas specials get play, but I think I only enjoy like two or three. Christmas Invasion is a constant, though.

And I'm probably in a weird minority but I always put on the All In The Family episode with the draft dodger because that's some of the most brilliant TV in Christmas history.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Muppet Family Christmas holds a special place for me because it's a tradition for a close friend of mine (who housed me for a couple of my worse years), and she shared it with me.

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If Let It Snow is trying to be the Empire Records of Christmas movies, then I think El Camino Christmas (2017) is aiming for that late 90s "saccharine indie" feel that you'd find on HBO at 11pm Tuesday night. Its cast delivers what's expected of them, but maybe another draft or two would nail this one out into something genuinely above average. It's not awful, I've certainly seen worse (and will continue to do so), but it's one that you won't feel the need to watch again.

Eric (Luke Grimes, "Grimey" to his friends) arrives in the little town of El Camino, Nevada, where he books a motel room from innkeeper and local sheriff's deputy Billy (Dax Shepard) before traveling to an address where drunk Larry (Tim Allen) currently resides, under the guise of looking for a man named "Michael Roth." Eric is soon harassed by Deputy Carl Hooker (Vincent D'Onofrio) on suspicion of drug smuggling due to his credit card, nice car (Chevelle SS), and wad of cash in his pocket. Carl has been chastised on and off by Sheriff Fuller (Kurtwood Smith) for drinking on the job, excessive force complaints, and trumped up charges that don't stick; all of which occur during his interaction with Eric, leading to Billy leaving the cell door open and letting Eric leave. As Eric tries to leave town, Carl gives chase, leading to a hostage situation at a local liquor store run by Vicente (Emilio Rivera) and staffed by Katie (Michelle Mylett), whose young mute son Seth is also trapped in. Meanwhile, local fluff reporter Beth Flowers (Jessica Alba) yearns for a chance at reporting on bigger stories, and comes across the standoff ready to go to work.

This is one of those movies where I'm not sure it counts as a Christmas movie. It's the setting, sure, and you could argue that there's a clear Christmas miracle, but the Christmas Eve timeframe has no bearing at all the plot. The story could literally take place at any other time of the year and be the same, as the holiday is only referenced with a handful of visual gags (Santa hats, "Feliz Navidad" written on the liquor store windows, etc.) and some of the rantings by Larry.

The "twist" about Eric and the "Michael Roth" hunt becomes obvious early on, but the reason for "Michael Roth" disappearing holds more weight than this movie really deserves. Tim Allen owns his turn as Larry, which makes me hate that he's apparently such a prick on set. Michelle Mylett playing another character named Katie got a chuckle out of me (as she plays a Katie on Letterkenny), and a heap of praise should be given for the handling of her son's apparent ASD, right down to his body language; Ashton Essex Bright does great work here, and I hope he's as solid in stuff like Uglies and afrAId.

Overall, not a bad movie, something that would have paired well with stuff like Best Men or Suicide Kings, but nothing great. 6.5/10

 

[Hawk 34]

It’s very important that everyone here finds themselves in a place in life where you can enjoy holiday trash and folks, it doesn’t get better or trashier than HOT FROSTY, a stirringly emotional journey of a snowman magically come to life to save the heart of a small town and a grieving widow with his bright smile and ripped abs.

If that isn’t enough for you, we got more trash excellence this holiday season with The Merry Gentlemen, a delightful Netflix (where else) rom com about the most festive event one can experience, that is of course, male strippers saving a small town.

 

[Valeyard]

Additional specials/media (Christmas a huge deal growing up and while it is much less so now, I love the specials) worth watching:

--Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas is a lowkey great Henson achievement that needs to be seen at least once. The scale is absurd and it's just as perfect a Christmas special as you can make on top of it. The Christmas Toy deserves a mention too since no one talks about it but it's wonderful.

--The two-part "It's A Bundyful Life" with Sam Kinison is classic. Objectively it might be the first truly legendary Married With Children show but it hits everything perfectly. I'm a huge fan of the episode where Santa plummets to his death, as well, because young me always remembered the warning before and how it made it seem like I shouldn't watch it despite it being hilarious.

--Pretty much all the Rankin Bass specials are worth it for their own reasons, but the original Rudolph is by far the best. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town is the worst.

--I can 98% honestly say I have seen every version of A Christmas Carol committed to film at this point, as it was my mom's favorite. Two of the most solid and easiest to watch are the condensed (yet still cover a ton) Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol and Mickey's Christmas Carol (it's on Disney + thank god). Latter is just so much fun visually and it covers all the important parts, even getting shockingly dark. Former has some of the best music ever in any special, and I will die on that hill.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

It’s very important that everyone here finds themselves in a place in life where you can enjoy holiday trash and folks, it doesn’t get better or trashier than HOT FROSTY, a stirringly emotional journey of a snowman magically come to life to save the heart of a small town and a grieving widow with his bright smile and ripped abs.

If that isn’t enough for you, we got more trash excellence this holiday season with The Merry Gentlemen, a delightful Netflix (where else) rom com about the most festive event one can experience, that is of course, male strippers saving a small town.

They're on the list already! Nothing like overt trash to brighten a morose holiday season.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town is the worst.

You shut your whore mouth! Burgermeister Meisterburger is a legend.

 

[Valeyard]

He's awesome, but the neutering of the Winter Warlock and the annoyingness of the Kringles make it a pain in the ass. Meisterburger and Topper are the shit, though.

 

[tekcop]

I watched It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie from 2002. It's not good, but it is fun to remember when pre-Disney Muppets could have the slightest bit of an edge. Muppets work best as a PG product, not G.

 

[Valeyard]

Also The Shining is a Christmas movie.

 

[treble]

The only reason I watched Hot Frosty is because they filmed it in my town. I actually had breakfast in the room where he was melting on Saturday morning.

I just watched Trapped in Paradise, which is fine. No movie with Richard Jenkins in it can be that bad.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Community, S2E11, "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas."

I fucking love this show anyway, but I made it a point last year to watch all of the Christmas episodes back to back. This year, I'm just doing this one and maybe S3's (the Glee episode).

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Quick fire.

I thought I was a lot tougher than I am, but Haul Out the Holly (2022) kicked my fucking ass within 20 minutes. Not since Christmas With the Kranks have I witnessed a neighborhood so viciously enamored with the frivolities of the season that it was cult-like, but at least Kranks had some redeeming and warm qualities to the neighbors that verbally tormented the titular couple. In this dreadful piece of garbage, Emily (Lacey Chabert) is subjected to lying parents, a psychotic head of the HOA who openly trespasses and harasses her, and a plethora of neighbors that treat her (a professional woman nearing 40) as though she were a child by entirely removing whatever agency she may have to fit in with their own beleaguered vision of the holiday. Fuck this trash. 2/10, and it's only that high because Stephen "Ned Ryerson" Tobolowsky has a supporting role.

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Community's S3 Christmas episode, "Regional Holiday Music," is still the best holiday episode of the series. S2's "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" may have been more heartfelt, but this is the show at its peak. Troy and Abed's Christmas rap is legendary, "Baby Boomer Santa" is amazing, and Britta's unintentional ruining of the play (bringing forth a dark revelation about the history of the Glee Club) is classic. 8.5/10 episode.

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You know, Red One (2024) got a bad rap. It's not great cinema by any means, but it's a super enjoyable romp with some amazing supporting performances, and Chris Evans is carrying this bitch on his back. While watching it, LDP and I had the same thought: this would've been so much better without the extended CG bullshit action scenes, made the worse by some spectacular practical FX during one chunk of the runtime. 6.5/10 seems fair.

Sidenote: The years have been very, very kind to Lucy Liu.

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Arthur Christmas (2011) is a fucking delight. Arthur (James McAvoy) is the younger son of the current Santa, himself the 20th person in the family to wear the suit, and goes on a quest with his grandfather (Bill Nighy) to bring a bicycle to Gwen (Ramona Marquez) after a slight mishap at the North Pole. The story isn't about the bike, it's about the extent that we go to in order to give our kids a memorable Christmas, and how Arthur embodies all that is right with the motivation while his older brother, and heir apparent, Steve (Hugh Laurie) is too cold and logistics-minded to fill the suit. 8/10, for sure going into my yearly rotation.

 

[Fall of Epic]

I'm not a member the whole Hallmark movie audience but dammed if I was gonna miss Hannakah on the Rocks featuring the film debut of Marc Summers plus Ellie from Degrassi!

Silly and predictable film but it accomplishes its mission as cheap, feel good fare.

Yes, there is a Double Dare joke if you dare to watch.

 

[treble]

I was pretty sure I had seen most of Christmas Vacation in bits and pieces before, but I sat down to watch it last night and I don't think I had. Didn't really do it for me, probably one of those movies that if I had seen growing up a bunch of times I'd have a fondness for it. I got a few chuckles here and there, but not much else.

I watched Nutcrackers a few days ago. I liked it even though you know how its going to end the second it starts.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

I was pretty sure I had seen most of Christmas Vacation in bits and pieces before, but I sat down to watch it last night and I don't think I had. Didn't really do it for me, probably one of those movies that if I had seen growing up a bunch of times I'd have a fondness for it. I got a few chuckles here and there, but not much else.

I watched Nutcrackers a few days ago. I liked it even though you know how its going to end the second it starts.

Catch Christmas Vacation a few more times. I didn't grow up with it, either, but it grew on me to the point where it's required viewing every year.

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You know, the Merry Gentlemen (2024) is just soclose to being a legitimately good movie. Some of the jokes land perfectly, the cast delivers what's needed (MICHAEL GROSS!!!!), and there's even a few nice twists in the story. As it is, it's probably the best "film" of the Hallmark-style Christmas schlock I've seen yet, but part of that hangs on my imagination of viewing it as though it were a self-serious dramedy (which it could have easily been). 5/10, not too shabby.

Also, it's hilarious how much Chad Michael Murray looks like Lee Tergesen. And damn, Marla Sokoloff didn't need the work she had. Still would, but...

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Black Friday (2021) doesn't quite fit here, but it's a schlocky monster movie that takes place during the official start of the Christmas season, so why the hell not?

The crew of a toy store - Ken (Devon Sawa), Chris (Ryan Lee), Marnie (Ivana Baquero), Archie (Michael Jai White), Brian (Stephen Peck), and store manager Jonathan (Bruce Campbell) - are beset by a different kind of horror as a meteor shower on the early hours of Black Friday is actually the invading force of an alien race. This is a pretty typical "zombie siege" movie for the majority of the runtime, but what stands out are the practical make-up FX work for the mutated shoppers. They're like a cross between Deadites and Baraka from Mortal Kombat.

Fun, stupid, worth a watch if you've got time to kill but nothing that's going to change your life. 5/10

 

[Valeyard]

All these years and I never noticed Uncle Frank and his family just stayed in Paris while the rest of the family rushed home to make sure Kevin wasn't fucking dead.