Bad Movies 2020 (and beyond)

[Gary]

Saw this in the "Bad Movies 2019" thread

I think we can add "Dolittle" to the list. Getting slaughtered by critics

And decided that since 2019 has come and gone, we could use a thread for bad movies from this year and maybe even beyond. So, go ahead and talk all that shit about the movies that aren't worth seeing/are worth seeing because of how bad they are.

 

[KOAB]

https://twitter.com/lou_kicks/status/1216877045067735042

I thought this was gonna be a boring by the numbers adventure movie for little kids going by the trailers but it's starting to sound like someone got bored while making this movie and decided to make a terrible crass piece of trash where Robert Downey Jr keeps getting sprayed with farts by all kinds of mythical creatures.

 

[909]

Damn I can't wait to watch this.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/retroag/status/1217915495338430464
The atmosphere will be electric when the Hitman & Corey Feldman meet up onscreen.

 

[Gary]

https://twitter.com/lou_kicks/status/1216877045067735042

I thought this was gonna be a boring by the numbers adventure movie for little kids going by the trailers but it's starting to sound like someone got bored while making this movie and decided to make a terrible crass piece of trash where Robert Downey Jr keeps getting sprayed with farts by all kinds of mythical creatures.

It looks like this ended up undergoing 21 days of reshoots with the director of such classics as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (the one which came out last decade), "Wrath of the Titans", "Battle Los Angeles", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Begining" and "Darkness Falls" doing said reshoots.

 

[909]

https://twitter.com/lou_kicks/status/1216877045067735042

I thought this was gonna be a boring by the numbers adventure movie for little kids going by the trailers but it's starting to sound like someone got bored while making this movie and decided to make a terrible crass piece of trash where Robert Downey Jr keeps getting sprayed with farts by all kinds of mythical creatures.

Man like half of that shit isn't even true. I wish I had a lot of followers and a job in film journalism like this guy claims to have so I could get paid to make up bullshit that makes an extremely boring little kids movie sound interesting. The kids also laughed at the one fart in the movie.

That kind of tweet seems like advertising in order to get people to go see a super shitty movie that's going to lose a massive amount of money.

 

[KOAB]

:'(

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/wild-wild-west-inside-story?fbclid=IwAR230LyxKpBggoIl1IwS-a1hZptcjYU-qXwGy1NlB0811uKk7RUvGN8_Ugs
Not 2020 but the article about the making of the film version of Wild Wild West is p wacky.

 

[RedJed]

Seen a few headscratchers for sure so far in 2020.

The Turning: What in the EVERLASTING FUCK was this?!! I know the novel it was based off of had a very tenuous and ambiguous way to it, but how this got adapted into the massive confusion this film turned out to be....holy shit. It was bearable until it fell off the goddamn rails with the wonderfully shit-tastic "wait, the last fifteen minutes of utter illogical madness was just a dream" formula here. I absolutely hate when filmmakers do this without any proper context or logic. At that point, the film then reset to what I thought was "reality" but then may or may not have yet another dream sequence potentially and then it just straight up ended up ending so abruptly I thought maybe I accidentally fell asleep for awhile and missed some serious plot points. The ending made absolutely ZERO sense to me. This was one of those films that was just so terribly thought out and executed. It blew me away this got a mainstream release. I just didn't get it how studio execs thought this would be a hit. Some seriously weird shit here.

The Rhythm Section: Then came this slow, meandering, goddamn snorefest of a supposed thriller/action vehicle for Blake Lively. Her performance was ok, Jude Law had what felt more like a confusing and phoned in wtf kinda role, and the story in this was so shoddy and inept at actually creating an engaging narrative to follow and feel compelled to do so. Terrible character development all around and I didn't get much from the action/fight scenes although they were quite violent at points. I think this was trying to be an attempt at a Bond-like franchise mixed in with elements of Dragon Tattoo a bit. Ultimately, it felt more like something you have seen a million times before, and so much better in every instance. The tone was so damn dull too that it just felt like it needed to end much sooner than it did. And I guess this has been shelved for a year or two, and was originally over 45 minutes longer, yikes. I can't imagine the torture that would be to sit through that cut. And probably explains why it got dumped in the dead of winter mix.

 

[Baby Shoes]

I’m very confused who the intended audience for Fantasy Island is. Also interesting that none of the advertising I’ve seen has had Mr. Roarke.

 

[Brocklock]

I was thinking it was just a bad generic teen horror movie until I saw the Fantasy Island title and was baffled at why they turned that property into a shitty looking horror film.

 

[strummer]

Probably wrong here but "Downhill" looks terrible. Given the cast and director/writer it shouldn't be but it just looks bad. 41 % on RT to back me up though

 

[Brocklock]

Nah it looks like crap. I don't think an American remake of Force Majeure works. I think making the couple much older is a decent idea, but casting Will Ferrell is a terrible idea.

 

[RedJed]

Once again subjected myself to some torture lately....

Gretel and Hansel: Jesus christ, the mainstream horror drops this time of the year aren't usually this terrible, but after the bottoming out of The Turning, I thought....there can't be more others soon that are to the level of that. Was I wrong. This film is polarizing for sure, I've seen some very strong reviews of it and of course, bad ones. I'm certainly on the side of bad....the only redeeming quality I saw out of this was an eerie atmospheric vibe, visually striking cinematography at times, and the score was pretty awesome. The rest? Yikes. I had zero connection to any of these terribly written characters. The story was boring as fuck and it felt devoid of any logical or reasonable substance to drive the narrative. The third act took things to a point of confusion and ultimately, a bad ending.

Fantasy Island: HOLY FUCK THIS WAS THE WORST BLUMHOUSE FILM TO DATE. And that's saying something when they just churned out total shit on a stick with Black Christmas. I am dumbfounded how an actually interesting idea (rebooting the classic show into a horrror) ended up into this. First off, this barely felt a horror at all. Instead it was more a comedy, some intentional but mostly unintentional. Secondly, I've never and I mean NEVER seen any mainstream film suffer from SO FUCKING MUCH LACK OF LOGIC OR COMMON SENSE. The "fantasy" sequence made no sense at all in the big picture, and there was tons of gaps how these moments even would happen in the first place. Plus, similar to Black Christmas, we get THE BLACK BLOOD EFFECT. I absolutely hated every damn character in this, and couldn't even understand which characters were "real" or a fantasy effect in itself. You will see the confusion if you bother with this one, which I'd be hard pressed to advise. Maybe after smoking a fat joint and preparing yourself for a total clusterfuck of epic proportions. Don't even get me started on the multitude of swerves that just flat out made me laugh because they, again, made no fucking sense and also because they went to that well far too often in this. This took the term bad movie to an epic new level of such.

 

[909]

I missed out on Gretel and Hansel due to time constraints (I'll watch it later) but I'm not surprised to see it here.

Also, yeah, Fantasy Island. Hoooo boy.

 

[Gary]

I liked Gretyl and Hansel :-[

 

[fazzle]

My Spy (this feels like the right thread for news on that movie) has been delayed AGAIN, one week before it's scheduled release date, to April 17th.

 

[Baby Shoes]

Damn. I was waiting to go see Big Dave dance like Shrek.

 

[RedJed]

The Jesus Rolls: This is a kinda sorta sequel to Big Lebowski (more a spinoff), with John Turtorro's character Jesus being released from jail and then (terribly stupid and badly written) mostly sexual hijinks ensue. This was, first and foremost, not a comedy as I expected it to. This was more showcased in a serious tone, and not sure why. Upon digging, I found this is actually a remake of a film called Going Places which might explain why it was so dumb. It also had a sheen of grossness to it all with Jesus and his sexual partners (Bobby Cannavale, Audrey Tautou) constantly up to something on a deviant level, and not in a funny way. This just didn't work for me at all, in fact it's one of the lamest films of the year to me. Turtorro did the screenplay and directed this mess. Done in 2016, finally made it to on demand this year in a very unadvertised manner. That's a telling sign of this one being REALLY bad. Also, I can't recall a movie in years that dragged as much as this one. It went on for two hours and I am still trying to decipher what even was the point of this shit.

 

[Gary]

I've seen five of Olivier Megaton's movies ("Taken 2" and 3, "Transporter 3" and "Colombiana" being the prior ones) and "The Last Days of American Crime" is the one that has finally convinced me that he should be banned from making movies. The worst movie I've seen this year so far.

 

[RedJed]

Infamous: This is a very under the radar recent release that's being rolled out in theaters/drive-ins simultaneously with on demand last week, surprisingly this even had a single late night showing at the one local theater in town here. What a total mess this was, I can't say this was the worst of the year but certainly one of the most out there offshoots of a Natural Born Killers meets Bonnie and Clyde type of film that went off the fucking rails. The shittiest part about it was how Bella Thorne looking strung out as all hell was in this one and the storyline revolving her character's need to be social media "famous" by broadcasting crimes her and her runaway bf commit while on the run from the law. I'd say avoid this but this kinda needs to be seen to be understood how terribly hard it was to sit through this hot garbage. I get what they were trying to do but this was a fucking catastrophe.

 

[Smartly Pretty]

Tried twice to get through Artemis Fowl but couldn't do it. I don't think I can laugh through "bad" movies in quarantine by myself, I need to watch something like this in a group. It fuckin sucks, though!

 

[Brooklyn Zoo]

Tried twice to get through Artemis Fowl but couldn't do it. I don't think I can laugh through "bad" movies in quarantine by myself, I need to watch something like this in a group. It fuckin sucks, though!

bad movies would be a good movies to stream in like discord or something

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

David Ayer’s Dumb-but-Fun Movies Aren’t Much Fun Anymore

The man who cowrote ‘The Fast & the Furious’ is back with the VOD film ‘The Tax Collector,’ a Shia LeBouf vehicle without charm or coherence

www.theringer.com

The new David Ayers/Shia LaBoeuf movie sounds NOT GREAT

 

[Brocklock]

Yeah uh I was wondering why Shia would follow up his comeback year with a movie from a director that other than like two movies is pretty bad. But, Shia is a charismatic enigma.

 

[Gary]

So, I have a feeling New Mutants is going to be a mess (it's not screning for critics for one...)

 

[Brocklock]

So, I have a feeling New Mutants is going to be a mess (it's not screning for critics for one...)

I don't think Bill and Ted Face The Music is either if that means anything for that movie's quality.

 

[Gary]

I don't think Bill and Ted Face The Music is either if that means anything for that movie's quality.

"Bill and Ted" hasn't had it's release date moved back a bunch, nor does it seem to have the trouble production "New Mutants" has.

 

[Brocklock]

I gotcha, I'm just saying I get Dumb And Dumber To vibes from the trailers and tv spots. Hope I'm wrong.

 

[Gary]

Hillbilly Elegy is at 22% on Rotten Tomatoes and 41 on Metacritic

https://imgur.com/mnloGCE