Chat! culturecrossfire.slack.com

ITT it's 2003: Kamala Live Blogs TNA

Valeyard

Retarded sexuality and bad poetry.
Messages
14,076
Reaction score
6,654
Points
253
Yeah I think it is. It was Mitchell who scalped him, though, because Shane Douglas is a totally rational ally of the New Church. But that was so gross. All these years later I still triple check to see if I'm holding trimmers the right way.
 

Laz

Making dumb observations since 2002
Messages
19,838
Reaction score
2,572
Points
253
Location
Music City
Mitchell was using sheep shears, the kind used at wool factories. Because that was all he could find that didn't need a cable.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
1/29


We open up with a ECW-esque video package on the first AMW-Triple X match last week. Huh. As great and as important as that match was, it seems like something more important happened last week that they'fd want to open with.

Montage of nerdy fans of the TNA Asylum. Sign: Total Nonstop Athena. Jingus?

Mike Tenay talks about how Raven stole the NWA World Title last week.

"Come As You Are" knockoff. Raven is in the bleachers with the NWA World Title. Possession is nine tenths of the law. Jeff Jarrett doesn't get the great tradition of the NWA World Title so he took it upon himself to take the title back. Raven will do what he must to show Jeff Jarrett the error of his ways. He will urinate in his bone marrow. Crowd: Eugh!

Man, it takes a lot to gross out a Tennessee rasslin crowd.

He welcome Jarrett to his Clockwork Orange House of Fun.

Jeff Jarrett clobbers Raven with a garbage can.

Don West is apoplectic that Raven would take something that doesn't belong to him.

Thanks to Russo's help, Raven is able to superplex Double J through a table and keep the belt.

Jerry Lynn, Ron Killings, and AMW run in to use Raven and Russo to scram. Little late guys.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Goldy Locks is with Jorge Estrada who has cut his giant 'fro. Jorge Estrada ponders joining SEX. His career has been one disaster after another so he has to consider the offer to join SEX.

Tenay and West recap events of last two weeks as some slack jawed yokel kids look on.

A SEX video package that blatantly rips off the '96-'97 NWO video packages.

I like them adding a bomb sound effect to Scott Armstrong kicking his brother in the balls.

Jeremy Borash is scream yelling his in ring introduction for some reason. I think this is a title matcH? From Brooklyn, New York, it's Amazing Red!

Mike Tenay doesn't get it. He thought Jorge Estrada stood by the values and tradition of NWA.

Mike Tenay says a lot of people have been reaching out to him to support him in defending the traditional values of the NWA and he will bring him to the ring later this night.

Amazing Red really should have been TNA's Rey Mysterio. I'm bummed we never got an Amazing Red-Rey Mysterio match. It looks like they faced off in a tag team a few years back but prime versions of them.

Don West and Mike Tenay talk about The Flying Elvises winning the first match in TNA history. What an omen.

Red wins a decent opener with the Infra Red and the Red Star Press.

Mike Sanders comes out to "SOL" chants. He thinks Jorge doesn't need the people. He should come over to SEX and quotes Billy Madison. Jorge clobbers him.

IT'S DISCO INFERNO GLENN GILBERTI!

Mike Tenay: Look at this jackass! Another one of Russo's cronies!

Shoot comments that aren't meant to be shoots.

GLENN GILBERTI IS SEX'S DIRECTOR OF TALENT DEVELOPMENT!
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Goldy Locks is with Bullet Bob. Jeff Jarrett shoves Bullet Bob against the wall and tells him to give him Russo and Raven. Ron Killings comes in to save Bullet Bon and tells Jeff Jarrett to calm down. You know times are strange when Ron Killings is the voice of reason.

David Flair and his mysterious burlap sack are out to face Jerry Lynn.

Jerry Lynn has had enough of the shit and grabs the burlap sack. He feels like SEX is ruining his career. He has a daughter to feed. Before Vince Russo brought in SEX, Jerry Lynn was dominating the X Division. He was voted the MVP of NWATNA in 2002. He was? Maybe I will go bak and watch the first six months for the 20th Anniversary next year.

Somehow Vince Russo's Pro Wrestling Tees shop doesn't have an SEX shirt. Dammit.

David Flair replicating his dad's spots was generally embarrassing but his Flair Flop was solid enough.

Don West is on edge. He's constantly looking over his shoulders and wondering what's next. I'm not saying Don West being the color commentator in '00 WCW would've made things good but having someone like him oversell the dramatics in color commentary role (instead of Mark Madden lamely quoting Kevin Smith), it would've only helped.

Thankfully, this match is mostly Jerry Lynn kicking David Flair's ass. Flair gets a flukey win after Ron Killing accidentally whacks Jerry Lynn with the burlap sack. Don West DOES NOT THINK THAT WAS INTENTIONAL.

Video package of the Armstrong Family Feud. I wonder why Brad never showed up in TNA.

Mike Tenay has a sit-down with BG James (who looks more and more like my dead uncle every week). He's wearing a ridiculous red and yellow fuzzy bucket hat and red sweater with grey and orange wind pants. BG James was the most entertaining man in wrestling and the centerpiece of Degeneration X. Not really how I remember it. The Armstrong Family is jealous of BG James' success. He sold out Madison Square Garden 20x in a row. He has platinum albums. Scott Armstrong is a zebra and he is a crocodile.

SCREW THIS! Scott Armstrong isn't going to take anymore. Mike Tenay tells the cameramen to cut it. This isn't about pro wrestling stables. It's about family!
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Hey! Hold on! AMW shove Jeremy Borash to grab a mic. They started as America's Most Unknown now they're America's Most Wanted. They've given all the fans in the Asylum 110% every damn time they've come out.

Don West: Amen, brother!

AMW want their rematch and they want it tonight!

SEX interrupt. BG James tells them that Triple X have the night off but says if they want some SEX, they're going to get some group SEX. We get a 6 on 2 beatdown until...The Rock N Roll Express run in for the save.

NO WAIT! RICKY AND ROBERT ATTACK AMW!

Don West; WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HER!? THIS IS SURREAL!

You're damn right there, brother!

THE RNR EXPRESS ARE PART OF SEX.

BG James says AMW like ROUGH SEX!

THE ROCK N ROLL EXPRESS HAVE TURNED ON TRADITION! Is this the only time Rock N Roll Express have been heels? I know Ricky Morton was a singles heel in '91 WCW but as a tag team? I don't even think they were heels during the dumb NWA Invasion of 1998.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
It's time for Mike Sanders in singles action. He's facing Ron "The Truth" Killings. Tenay is not sure if the TNA Asylum thinks that Killings hitting Jerry Lynn was an accident. Don West says it was a freak accident.

Mike Sanders is rocking a new singlet that looks like he handed his gear designer a picture of 1998 Scott Steiner and just told them to replace the nWo's with SEX.

Announcers talk about how tough it must be for R Truth to set aside his own World Title aspirations to try and fight for the NWA Tradition.

Mike Tenay talks about his former associate who will share his thoughts later this evening.

Mike Sanders offense is pretty boring so I look at his Wikipedia page and I guess he does stand up comedy now. I wanna do a show with "Above Average" Mike Sanders. Hopefully he doesn't tell me my career is SOL.

I wonder why there are little pauses for commercial breaks to be inserted added into this show. I'm assuming it's because these aired somewhere internationally?

David Flair and Jerry Lynn come out and fight over the burlap sack. Ron Killings pretty obviously knees Jerry Lynn in the gut. Now Don West's suspicious have been raised. Weird sound issues and we can hear I think Goldy Locks talking with someone.

She's in the SEX locker room. Goldy Locks thought she liked the Rock N Roll Express.

Ricky Morton talks about when him and Hoot had to work for all their meals and all the tits were real, they knew what sports entertainment was all about. The Rock N Roll Express invented sports entertainment. They were the first to use pyro and entrance music.

Bob Armstrong has had enough of this shit. He books America's Most Wanted Vs The Rock N Roll Express. What a night.

Mike Tenay is fired up. He wants to see The Rock N Roll Express Vs America's Most Wanted. Where you, at @The Valeyard ?
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
AJ Styles is here in his The X Styles shirt that @Springtime for Epic was(is?) proud owner of. He yells ZIP IT a bunch. He's not affiliated with Mortimer Plumtree or SEX. Mike Tenay is yet to be convinced. He is the Mack Daddy of the X Division but now he wants the NWA World Heavyweight Title. He's beaten Ron Killings and Jeff Jarrett. He even beat Larry Zbyszko. And he would have beat him twice in ten minutes. He's not leaving the ring without the NWA World Heavyweight title.

Raven interrupts. He says He has to face him for the World Title. AJ isn't ready to face him.

AJ Styles: Is that a syringe in your skirt or are you happy to see me?
Raven: Real funny coming from someone who looks like Elton John's life partner and is wearing an NSync starter kit.

AJ Styles tells him to hand over the title so Raven can go back to the SEX locker room so he can shoot more heroin.

Man this exchange aired p. poorly.

Refs try and break it up. Triple J runs in and kicks both guys ass and takes back his title.

"My World" is a fittingly annoying theme for Triple J.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Larry Zbyszko is back. He took exception to AJ Styles saying he could beat him twice in ten minutes. He rambles about the public domain. AJ reminds Larry of himself in 1974. Everyone from Mike Tenay to Gunner the Cameraman can tell AJ that he lacks wisdom. Brother, Mike Tenay and Gunner The Cameraman might say the same thing about AJ Styles in 2021. Zbyszko tells him he can guide AJ Styles through the school of hard knocks. If AJ Styles can beat Larry Z twice in ten minutes, he'll use his old man wiles to try and get AJ Styles an NWA World Heavyweight Title match. If he can't do that, he has to bring on Larry Zbyszko on as manager. A fate worse than death.

Don West doesn't really see incentive for Larry in this match.

Crowd seems way more into Larry this week. Some fans of the Human Game of Chess must've made their way out to the show.

I'm enjoying this match more than last week.Now that I know what to expect, Grapplefuck AJ is a fun novelty.

AJ wins one fall with a inverted DDT as Mike Tenay yells at Keith Mitchell to put up a clock. AJ has 3:46 to get another pin on Larry.

Here comes that damn Mortimer Plumtree. He doesn't want Larry to win. He wants to be AJ Styles manager!

Larry Zbyszko avoids the brass knuckles and some powder. HE KNOWS ALL THESE DIRY HEEL TRICKS.

AJ cannot pin Larry Z twice. Larry celebrates to the TNA theme music. Larry Zbyszko is now AJ Styles manager as Mortimer Plumtree flips the fuck out.

NWA ECCW is in Langley, BC on Saturday February 1st. cc @cobainwasmurdered
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
A bored and/or depressed Goldy Locks wants to invite Percival Pringle III into the ring. Poor PPIII sounds winded just walking into the ring. PPIII says on the first week of April, he will be in Las Vegas, being honored at the Cauliflower Alley Club Convention. He's worked his behind off in his career unlike that VINCENT RUSSO! Russo will never know the feeling of being honored at the Cauliflower Alley Club. PPIII vows revenge on SEX. He's not going anywhere.

Tony Schiavone wanders in dressed like me in 2003 or a hungover classic rock DJ
1620784491379.png
That's who Mike Tenay brought in. Tony Schiavone wants to know why he hasn't had a damn job in two years. He slutshames Goldy Locks. She puts the Tits N Ass in TNA. Tony Schiavone understands SEX but Goldy Locks makes Pamela Paulshock look like Diann Sawyer. Tony Schiavone tells Goldy to step up to the mic (and he ain't talking about the one he's holding in his hand)

Mike Tenay says TONY HAS CROSSED A LINE!

Tony Schiavone wants Mike Tenay in the ring. Some fan screams a pained "C'MON WE WANT WRESTLING!" Tony thought TNA would be his vehicle to get back into wrestling. When he was interviewing Harley Race, Tony Schiavone was working in Las Vegas. He was there with the Rock N Roll Express when Magnum TA had his crash and The Great American Bash happened WHILE TENAY WAS WRITING DIRTSHEETS! Jeff Jarrett WOULDN'T RETURN HIS CALLS! Mike Tenay busted his ass to try and make Tony look good.

Fans chant "Shut the fuck up!"

Canonically, it's nice to know that Tony Schiavone had the same character in 2003 TNA that he does in his current Impact Wrestling.

Fans hate this. Percy Pringle III is just standing in the background wondering why he is still in the ring.

Russo comes out and yells over everyone as Jingus waves a "WHO CARES?" sign. Russo can't believe the best announcer in the world has been out of work for two years. Russo invites Schiavone to be the official voice of SEX.

Tenay says Schiavone kissed butt for whoever was in charge. Tony Schiavone has two kids in college, he doesn't want to put up with this shit. He just knows Scott Hudson could do Tenay's job and not charge Vince Russo for airfare.

Don West: Huh. I don't know what else can happen tonight.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
We get a crappy recap package of the feud between Sonny Siaki and Desire Vs Kid Kash and Trinity. I guess we got mixed tag team action coming up next.

Mike Tenay is still rattled from Tony Schiavone betraying him.

Trinity isn't really that bad and of course, Tenay oversells it. Don West wonders if Kid Kash has been mentoring her.

Looking at Wikipedia, I guess Desire and Sonny Siaki got married IRL afterward then Desire appeared on The Biggest Loser in 2012.

Ring attendant Athena barges in and helps Trinity and Kid Kash get the win. They beat SEX at their own game.

Tony Schiavone comes in and makes fun of Tenay for knowing the names of the moves.

He interviews Sonny Siaki. Next week, he will be facing The Amazing Red.
Here comes Konnan to beat the shit out of Sonny Siaki with the kendo stick. HIT TONY! HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING IN THE BUILDING! KONNAN WANTS AN INTERVIEW WITH TENAY!

We get an awesome Tenay face.

WE GOT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON! THIS HAS HAPPENED FOR THREE STRAIGHT WEEKS!

Jeff Jarrett is with Goldy Locks. Jarrett says Russo will regret the day he ever met him.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Man, The Rock N Roll Express entering to the SEX theme is something.

Mike Tenay calls out Rock N Roll Express wearing TNA Wrestling t-shirts. Someone couldn't give Punk & Hootie SEX t-shirts.

RNR even has NWA on their tights but hey look, I don't expect them to get custom SEX tights for a one off.

It's weird that Punk & Hootie seem more washed in their late '90s/'00s appearances than they did in their recent ROH/NWA appearances.

It is kind of a fun novelty to see them being annoying heel lackeys.

Elix Skipper helps Ricky & Robert get the win with a belt shot while the referee is distracted. AMW has lost two weeks in a row.

Hey wait a minute. It's the Disciples of the New Church. Don West is love ing it. THE DISCPLES ARE GOING AGAINST RUSSO! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. Don't show Don West SummerSlam '94

Don West has a coughing fit as Mike Tenay describes what a crazy week we've had. Next week, Mike Tenay has an exclusive interview with Konnan. Next week, there will be a four corner elimination between Jerry Lynn, Ron Killings, David Flair, and Mike Sanders. Plus Don West's man Amazing Red challenges Sonny Siaki for the Division Title. Plus Triple X defend their NWA World Tag Team Titles against The Disciples of the New Church.

Wait we got something in the back.

Tony Schiavone: Thank you David Crockett and Johnny Weaver!

Tony is with Vince Russo and Raven. Jeff Jarrett breaks into the SEX locker room to kick Raven's ass. They brawl through the crowd as a terrified Borash flees. They're headed to the broadcast table. Russo comes out to help out Raven.

Jarrett puts Raven through a table. He wants Russo one on one. AJ Styles runs in. IS STYLES WITH RUSSO NOW!?

AJ Styles hits Jarrett with The Stroke and steals the NWA World Title. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?

DON WEST CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON OR WHO IS WITH WHO ANYMORE!


More misses the hits this week but I definitely can't say this show was not interest.
 

Valeyard

Retarded sexuality and bad poetry.
Messages
14,076
Reaction score
6,654
Points
253
Tony coming out like heel Dante Hicks and working some shoot is way less funny now. Not that it was hilarious or anything then. How is it TNA didn't bring in Pamela Paulshock at least a couple times, though?

It's about here where Jarrett is officially cancerous. At least he was working circles around HHH, I guess. But for me getting screen time and a title because you own the promotion is very different than using that time and influence to derail things. But fucking Planet Jarrett, man. Way more annoying a reign of terror if only because he was still having good matches.

Hope you weren't too invested in the Nikita stuff.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
2/5

It's my day off so let's start off with TNA and Eggs

Immediately this episode seems like it has a much hazier video quality. Closeup on fan with fuzzy purple Viking hat. Man, a real cross section of 2003 people in the TNA Asylum. Goths, rednecks, fat kids, nerds. Jingus.

Oh fuck. We're starting with a Larry Zbyszko promo. He drops a "Human Game of Chess" reference. He has a "handsome hunk of gold" around his arm. Its Jeff Jarrett's NWA World Heavyweight title. Larry Zbyszko, in the power invested him as Wrestling's Living Legend, to demand an NWA World Title shot for AJ Style.

Now now now IT'S MY WORLD!

Jeff Jarrett tells Larry that possession is nine tenths of the law is NOT an actual law. AJ Styles hasn't asked him for a title shot face to face. As soon as he does, Triple J would be glad to give him one. Now he wants his title back. Larry can either hand it to him or Triple J will stomp up there and pull it out of his ass. Larry rightfully says "MY ASS!"

Larry goes after Triple J but AJ Styles (in sweet green gear matching his X STYLES shirt) jumps him from behind. Larry Zbyszko tries to calm AJ down but Jarrett clocks him and fights off AJ to get his title back.

Now a bunch of dudes in fatigues and black ski masks attack Double J. WHAT IS GOING ON!?

They put a hood over his head and drag him out of the Asylum. Yikes. I'm guessing this didn't get some sort of backlash for invoking beheading videos surely by process that no one except @Laz and Jingus watched these 2003 TNA PPVs.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Jorge Estrada anachronistically comes out to some generic nu metal instrumental with his Elvis gear on. And his giant afro is back. He's facing Glen Gilberti. He's dressed up in camoglauged version of the Disco Inferno gear, which gets a chuckle out of me.

Mike Sanders in a military uniform and ski mask joins the announce table. So that confirms SEX were the mysterious masked men. They couldn't have dressed as themselves? Also this was right around the time The Iraq War was starting! GD TNA.

West and Tenay talk about the lost potential of the Flying Elvises. They beat AJ Styles, Jerry Lynn, and Low Ki in the first match in the company's history. A novelty trio defeating your three best light heavyweights...GD TNA was TNA from the start.

Mike Sanders yells a lot about character development as I start getting excited we're going to get asskicking babyface Glenn Gilberti that @Laz loves so much in a few weeks.

It's weird that Disco Inferno didn't start doing the Village People's Elbow until after WCW. Or if he did it in WCW, it was very very late in its run. That seemed like a spot that would've gotten super over in '99-'00. Now of course, WCW already had a tremendous Rock parody.

Don West is new to the biz but he knows that Glenn Gilberti does too much damn prancing.

Jorge Estrada gets the upset by blocking the Chartbuster and hitting a backslide.

JORGE ESTRADA HAS EMBARASSED SEX.

Mike Sanders and Glenn Gilberti strip Jorge Estrada to his skivvies.

Fans proudly chant "USA!" Guys, Glenn Gilberti and Mike Sanders aren't actually members of the military!
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Goldy Locks is with Bullet Bob. This is gone beyond the realm of wrestling. They've dragged him out of the building and taken him into parts unknown. I love Bullet Bob's cranky dad act. He doesn't know why the hell he's talking to Goldie Locks. Jeff Jarrett's wife and kids are worried sick! Jeff Jarrett might not only not wrestle again! He might not live.

Oh God. Vince Russo in camouflage paint and with fake medals on his camp shirt welcomes us to OPERATION SEX! He's got their World Champion then he's going to take out the fans that root for these SCUM BAGS

Oh no. Russo's not waring camouflage paint but green and black paint that spells out F U. He's not gonna harm Jeff Jarrett, bro. He kidnapped him for his own good. Don West and Mike Tenay are NOT BUYING THIS! Vince Russo is the only one who loves Jeff Jarrett. Everyone wants to take advantage of Jeff Jarrett and exploit him. His own father is trying to exploit him.

Vince Russo talks to a balaclava clad Glenn Gilberti. When Vince Russo talks about character development, Jeff Jarrett doesn't know who he is but Russo knows that Jeff Jarrett IS HIS FRIEND! He wants Glenn to develop the character of Jeff Jarrett. He wants Glenn to force Jeff Jarrett to turn heel. MOST IMPORTANTLY, HE WANTS TRIPLE J TO FLUSH TRADITION DOWN THE DRAIN!

Dusty wanders out in his Canadian Tuxedo and lucky Cleveland Browns t-shirt and kicks Glenn Gilberti's ass. Russo wakes Disco up and tells him to not get sidetracked.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Dusty just got here in his pick up truck and Bullet Bob told him Jeff Jarrett was ABDUCTED by a bunch of thugs. Dusty Rhodes came here to step up to the plate for tradition. This type of BULLSHIT has got to stop. He calls Truth, Jerry Lynn, Amazing Red, and America's Most Wanted.

the 2003 Jerry Lynn shirt is absolutely hideous. C'mon EBay.

Dusty motivates the troops. IT'S TIME TO TAKE BACK TO THE ASYLUM! He wants Ron Killings to lead the troops. They're going to take care of the building while Dusty Rhodes goes on the search for Jeff Jarrett.

If Dusty Rhodes couldn't find Sapphire at SummerSlam '90, I don't really expect him to find an abducted Jeff Jarrett.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Next it's an X Division Title Match. Amazing Red is already in the ring because he was in last segment probably figured "Aw what the hell? I might as well just stay here." Idk if it was on purpose since so many of these shows (and I just listened to an interview with Russo on his first TNA run that confirmed this) were loosely scripted. But giving Red a jobber entrance helps with story of the match.


Bumps that wouldn't happen today---Red getting whipped headfirst into the announce table. Just the thud noise it makes.

Don West is crestfallen. A sick mastermind like Russo has Siaki prepared to inflict punishment.

This Impact Plus subscription has been worth it just to remind myself how much I loved Amazing Red. Somehow even more than seeing Red wrestle live twice in 2019. Current Red is just wrestling equivalent of a band that doesn't play their old hits (or plays tossed off rearranged versions of them at the end).

Sonny Siaki get the win with Siakalypse Now (which is too cool off a finisher name for him) after Siaki trips the referee and Desire shoves Red off the top.

An amazing performance even in defeat but today is not Red's Day says Don.


Red gets into a shoving match with Desire and then gets beat down. Kid Kash and Trinity make the save.

Later tonight, we will see Trinity Vs Desire.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
We get a recap of Konnan beating the shit out of people with kendo sticks the last three weeks. Once again, there's a good brief freeze on a Tenay Face.

Mike Tenay is sitting in the interview set with Konnan. Konnan says Tenay won't Operation Desert Storm him like he did Russo. Konnan brags about his history in Mexico. WCW didn't use him to his full potential. Mike Tenay was in Mexico when the cooks in the restaurant in Tijuana came out of the kitchen to watch Konnan on telenovelas. Konnan helped Mike Tenay get a job with WCW when he did World's Collide. Wrestling promoters are racist. They've gentrified lucha libre into the X Division. Wrestling industry is racist. Eric Bischoff, Vince McMahon, that good ol' boy Jerry Jarrett. They aren't willing to accept that Latinos are integral in sports. They'd rather lose money than let Latinos have a chance. No Latinos are in position of power. Konnan says everyone in TNA is racist including Mike Tenay. He'd rather instill fear than provoke firings. He's here to make sure that Latinos never get fucked over again.

P. great promo that rings as true in 2021 as it did in 2003.

Goldy wants an update from Bullet Bob. Every time Goldy sticks a mic in his face, it prevents him from doing his job. BG James interrupts but we can't hear what he's saying to audio issues. Bullet Bob tells him he has a surprise in the ring for BG James.

BG James: I love surprises. You want to come to the ring with me, Goldy?
Goldy: Not really no.

BG James' surprise opponent is the Tenacious Z! It's Baby Zach Gowen. He started wrestling less than a year ago. He lost a leg due to cancer but that didn't stop his wrestling dreams.

Was It TNA or WWE that signed the wrong one legged wrestler? It SEEMS like a TNA story but I *think* it was actually WWE.

BG James wants to know if this is a rib. Mike Tenay talks about how Hulk Hogan visited Zach Gowen in the hospital and inspired him to be a wrestler. Did Hogan tell Tenay that story? I remember very specifically Zach Gowen on WWE Confidential talking about how Make A Wish Foundation asked him if he wanted to be a wish recipient and he thought of picking Hogan but ultimately turned it down cause he knew he was going to beat the cancer and thought it should go to someone more deserving.

Hey waitaminute. Scott Armstrong is officiating. There is a lot of animosity brewing between them the last few weeks.

Tenacious Z wins with a rollup.

Raven ruins the inspirational moment by decking Tenacious Z. Scott Armstrong and the referees drag him out.

Raven wants that debris out of his sight. He calls out AJ Styles for stealing his belt. He cuts a very Raven-y promo on AJ Styles challenging him to an impromptu title match. AJ Styles hasn't beaten anyone until he beats someone in Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun.

Don West is incredulous that these men are fighting for a belt that they don't even own.

Hey and people say Russo didn't care about title belts.

Larry Zbsysko makes the save but Raven has the title back.
 

Valeyard

Retarded sexuality and bad poetry.
Messages
14,076
Reaction score
6,654
Points
253
Vividly remember getting this one and hating it. Just way, way too much Russo and not enough else to balance it out. Konnan being 100% justified and Dusty putting the core guys over were great. I marked big for Gowen.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Laz

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Goldy is with Bob Armstrong and Disciples of the New Church.

He's GOT NO NEWS. Stop pestering him. AMW wants their damn rematch. Jim Mitchell says they'll give AMW the title shot. Bullet Bob says AMW has got the next title shot no matter who wins.

'00s match graphic hypes up a four corners match between David Flair, Mike Sanders, Jerry Lynn, and Ron Killings.

I wonder if we'll find out what's in David Flair's damn burlap sack. This is essentially a 2 on 2 match but it's every man for himself.

Tenay and West wonder if there's dissension with Lynn or Killings or if their emotions have gotten the best of them.

Here comes Jorge Estrada to missile dropkick Mike Sanders behind the ref's back. Lynn pins him. Oh I guess this is an elimination match.

Jerry Lynn pins David Flair with an inside cradle. SEX has been eliminated.

David Flair hits Jerry Lynn with the burlap sack and Truth wins.

I guess this isn't the week for me to find out what's in the burlap sack.

NOW DON WEST IS SUPICIOUS THAT TRUTH IS WITH RUSSO! THERE ARE TOO MANY DAMN COINCIDENCES FOR MIKE TENAY!

Jerry Lynn does not want to be consoled by Ron Killings. WHAT IS GOING ON!? THE TNA LOCKER ROOM NEEDS TO GET ON THE SAME PAGE!

NWA ECCW is at the Esquimalt Elementary School in Esquimalt, BC this Saturday. Is that a crappy town, @cobainwasmurdered ? NWA Main Event is doing a benefit show for Chris Champion this weekend, @BruiserBrody

Goldy Locks interviews Triple X. Elix Skipper sings Sister Sledge, Low Ki talks with his super deep voice. Desire barges in and wonders she isn't getting interviewed. Her match is next. She criticizes Goldy's boob jobs and sys her nipples are supposed to be pointed up, not looking down for loose change. Wellll then.

Mike Tenay says that's interesting geography from Desire. More interesting than me wondering about Esquimalt, British Columbia, I guess.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Trinity charges past Kid Kash. Both competitors wearing Blue Pants. Hey remember Big Cass thinking he could sing? Remember when NXT was fun?

Tbh, I'm still thinking about Goldy's nipples looking for change.

Btw apparently, Goldy Locks has a show on Vince Russo's podcast network. I kind of get the one but Stevie Richards seems like he deserves better than being a Russo lackey but if Daffney and Shooting Star are to be believed, MAYBE NOT.

Ya know what? Desire getting fat and having to go on The Biggest Loser is probably karmic punishment for her being mean about Goldy's nipples.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this feels like worst match I've watched so far in this rewatch. Guess it's interesting in the sense to see how far, North American women's wrestling has come since 2003.

Trinity wins with the moonsault. They could have accomplished that in about half in the time. It was 8 minutes but felt like twenty.
 

Valeyard

Retarded sexuality and bad poetry.
Messages
14,076
Reaction score
6,654
Points
253
Trinity was special.

Desire was what she needed to be, which to me was a hotter version of Kimber from Nip/Tuck.
 

King Kamala

Integral Poster
Messages
60,449
Reaction score
8,296
Points
293
Location
Vacationland
Mike Tenay and Don West recap the show as some yokels (including a discount Scotty 2 Hotty and discount Erik Watts. Wait isn't Erik Watts already the discount version of Erik Watts?) chant TNA!

It's NWA World Tag Team Title Match time. Don West and Mike Tenay can't believe it. The fans have gotten behind the Disciples of the New Church.

It kind of says something about the tone of this show that it's culminating with a Heel Vs Heel match.

Fans are getting behind Disciples with a "Let's Go Evil!" chant. Don West wouldn't say they're about tradition, they're about power nd title belts but that's better than SEX.

Low Ki's mouth gets busted open.

DON WEST CANNOT BELIEVE HE'S ROOTING FOR DISCIPLES OF NEW CHURCH! If they win, NWATNA will have one belt (or I guess one pair of belts). ARE WE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?

Ya know I never realized it but Disciples of a New Church Brian Lee is kind of like his version of BikerTaker. Although now that I think of it. Brian Lee was BakerTaker before BikerTaker. What was DOA but just a crappy protoversion of Big Red Evil???

Ref bumps. Slash pins Elix Skipper and Low Ki pins Brian Lee. Two referees. What the hell!? We got a draw! No wonder why teenage @The Valeyard was pissed.

Senior Official Scott Armstrong declares the NWA World Tag Team Titles are vacant. Senior officials have the power to do that. Here comes AMW! Wait here's a couple brutes from SEX. I think it's the Harris Brothers.

Faint "Russo Sucks" chants. Russo in army helmet. Drunk fan dog barks at Brian Lee for some reason.

Crappy brawling. See this is where the loosely scripted feel of these shows backfires. It's like whoever was running these shows was like "Eh. We got ten minutes. Just brawl until the end." Don West wants to know where the hell Jeff Jarrett went/

Jerry Lynn's here. Slash dumps a full trash can on a Harris Brother.THIS IS WHAT ALLYSHIP LOOKS LIKE. Other Harris Brother is just sitting down and sucking wind.

Mike Sanders has thrown Chris Harris in the SEX dressing room. Jorge Estrada runs in but SEX still ha them outnumbered.

Somehow Russo is just wandering around unaffected. See that's another problem I have with Russo as an onscreen character. He doesn't get his asskicked as much as McMahon or Bischoff. I think he totally lacks the self awareness. Kid Kash and Trinity run in.


This feels like the longest damn post match brawl I've ever seen. Amazing Red is here.

Chris Harris is randomly trying to throw Elix Skipper off a balcony.

WHERE ARE THY GOING WITH THIS!?

Bullet Bob Armstrong finally comes out. He decks a Harris Brother as the crowd goes mild. Scott Armstrong tries in vain to stop it. No wait. It was BG James that Bullet Bob was kicking their ass.

Hey here's Raven.

Don West: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?

I'd like to know that too.

Don West: (as fans chant "Russo Sucks") THESE FANS GOT THEIR MONEY WORTH!

THE NWA TRADITION ROSTER HAS BEEN LOCKED IN THE SEX DRESSING ROOM! Russo was good on his word. UNBELIEVABLE!

Vince Russo calls in Col. Sanders (what is this the MIA?) and Corporal Disco. Don West is afraid they've been outnumbered. Vince Russo implies SEX is going to beat up the fans now.

He wants them to bring Jeff Jarrett out first. He asks Disco to give the fans an update.

BUT IT'S NOT DISCO IN THE MASK! He's wandering down the aisle in his skivvies. IT'S Jeff Jarrett IN DISCO'S TIGHTS! Don West freaks out as the show ends.

THIS SHOW WAS ASS!
 

Epic Springs

Epic Reine
Messages
12,612
Reaction score
1,879
Points
253
Location
NYC
I'll always defend "Killdozer" Brian Lee in the New Church. He had a killer nickname and still moved pretty decently. I thought he was gonna bounce around a little longer but I think this run might have been his last in a "major" promotion.
 

Valeyard

Retarded sexuality and bad poetry.
Messages
14,076
Reaction score
6,654
Points
253
Brian Lee was so great in TNA. When he left and they tried to replace him, it was pretty bad. Lee looked great and finally lived up to potential only to get bounced or bail or whatever happened. At least Malice was nice enough to die.

This was at the time called the worst episode up to that point and remains the only time TNA gave me genuine buyer's remorse. I was so mad. SEX jumped the shark here and it never came back. TNA Russo wasn't even funny bad. People weren't paying for this shit in that climate. Raw was probably a better show.

Gowen got big hype, though. A week earlier he had a dark match that people went nuts over because it was a one legged guy doing cruiserweight stuff and they rushed him out. I never got my wish of seeing him take a Styles Clash.
 

Epic Springs

Epic Reine
Messages
12,612
Reaction score
1,879
Points
253
Location
NYC
Here's an obscure Church member, anyone remembers Kobain? Basically TNA's poor attempt to combine Raven's mic work with the Seattle grunge scene.
 
Top