Royal Rumble 1991

[Kahran Ramsus]

We begin with the Star Spangled Banner as Vince falls back on one of his favourite storylines, the evil foreign menace against the good ol' US of A. Some people complain about the ethics of exploiting the Gulf War for entertainment, but I personally never had any real problem with it.

Interestingly, Vince's announcements of the Rumble participants ends with Randy Savage instead of World Champion Hulk Hogan as usual.

Gorilla & Piper are on commentary.

The opening match is Badd Comp...err...The New Orient Express vs. The Midnight Rockers. This is the version of the Orient Express that should have been around since the beginning. Jannetty gets dumped right away leaving Shawn alone against both guys. It is probably good that the Rockers are in a tag match after their pathetic performances in the Rumble match last year. This is like a bazillion times better than their Wrestlemania VI match. The Rockers are really peaking as a team around this point, so of course they are broken up within a year. It was probably for the best given how quickly Jannetty washed out of the promotion after the breakup. Shawn gets beat on for most of the match, and makes the hot tag to Marty who almost loses within a minute. Shawn takes a rough bump from the top rope to the floor. Kato sets up Marty for a slingshot, but he reverses it into a Sunset Flip on Tanaka for the 3. Excellent opener!

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Sean Mooney interviews the Macho King who says Sgt. Slaughter has given him a commitment to a title shot if he wins. He's sending Queen Sherri to get the same commitment from the Ultimate Warrior.

Sherri goes out to the podium with Mean Gene to issue a challenge to the Ultimate Warrior. This brings out the WWF Champion in a USA jacket and trunks. Sherri tries to seduce him. It doesn't work. She gets on her knees and begs, but Warrior refuses and storms off.

Savage throws things around in the locker room and runs out after Warrior.

The next match is The Barbarian vs. The Big Bossman. This is a result of Ravishing Rick Rude making insults about Bossman's mother and now he's going through the Heenan Family to get revenge. Bossman runs in and grabs Barbarian's coat. I quite like both of these guys at this stage in their careers. I'm still surprised that Barbarian never got a short run with Hogan or Warrior. Barbarian hits Bossman with the flying clothesline, but Bossman gets his feet on the ropes. Bossman Slam, but Barbarian gets his fingertips on the ropes. Piledriver and Barbarian goes for a Steamboat-esque Flying Crossbody, but Bossman rolls over for three. Second very good match in a row.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Sean Mooney interviews Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan. Say what you will about this gimmick, but the heat he got was through the ref. I think he often gets unfairly blamed for the LA Memorial Coliseum not selling out for Wrestlemania VII.

Mean Gene interviews Ultimate Warrior. Warrior is surprisingly coherent tonight. I prefer crazy Warrior.

Next is the first WWF Championship Match in Royal Rumble history. The Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior cleans house and rips apart the Iraqi flag to start, then stuffs it down Slaughter's throat. Slaughter may have been past his prime, but he was still a champion bumper. Slaughter goes flying and Sherri comes out. Warrior goes after her and Savage blindsides him in the aisle and attacks him with a light fixture. Slaughter prevents the ten count and takes over once Warrior manages to crawl back to the ring. Slaughter spits on Warrior as the crowd let's him have it. Crowd is going crazy throughout this entire match. Slaughter gets the Camal Clutch, but Warrior is outside the ring. It takes Hebner about a minute to realize it. Worst! Ref! Ever! Slaughter thinks he's won, but Warrior makes his wardance comeback. Sherri runs back out and Warrior drags her in and gives her the Gorilla Press and throws her onto Savage. Slaughter nails Warrior with a knee from behind and Savage nails Warrior with the sceptre. Elbow drop and we have a new champion. This is one of the most controversial title changes of all time, but you know what? Fuck the haters, this was great! And the payoff at Wrestlemania VII was even better. A house show I was at soon after this was supposed to have Slaughter give Savage his title shot that he had promised him, but Savage had an injured wrist so Warrior got the title shot instead (he lost by DQ).

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

They are still advertising the Memorial Coliseum at this point.

'Bird, Bird, Bird' signals the beginning of our next match. Koko B Ware is fighting The Mountie. Sadly this is before his cool theme. Rougeau goes from becoming an American to joining the RCMP in less than a year. The Mountie is, of course, a ridiculous gimmick but Rougeau damn well did his best to make it work. It might be my favourite bad gimmick because of it. He was funny if nothing else. We don't really get to see that here, however, as Rougeau still plays it mostly seriously this early into the run. As a result, this is very boring. And the crowd is dead after the excitement in the last match. The most exciting thing is Jimmy Hart trashtalking Frankie. Oh and Mountie goosestepping. Koko nearly botches a Missile Dropkick. Mountie wins with some sort of clothesline thingy. Basically an extended squash.

Warrior is after the Macho King in the lockerroom.

 

[Ed Wood Caulfield]

They are still advertising the Memorial Coliseum at this point.

They moved the show about two weeks after the Super Bowl that year. By February is when the commercial changes to a generic Los Angeles advertisement.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Mean Gene interviews the new World Champion. He celebrates his victory over the Ultimate Puke. Piper and Monsoon are disgusted. Piper says he's coming after Slaughter. As far as I know those are empty words as I don't recall a match against them.

Messages from the fans for the troops in the Middle East. Nobody does pandering like Vince McMahon.

Gorilla mentions that Hulk Hogan was supposed to have a tour of the bases in Saudi Arabia, but isn't allowed so he's touring US bases instead.

Interviews with some of the Royal Rumble participants. Brother Love is such a poor match with Undertaker.

Sean Mooney interviews Ted Dibiase & Virgil.

Dusty & Dustin Rhodes vs. The Million Dollar Man & Virgil. 24 years later and Dustin is still here. Even more remarkable, he's still a good wrestler. Dusty was on job duty for the last six months or so of his WWF run. This is, I believe, the last match for the Rhodeses in the WWF in 1991. Virgil gets his ass kicked and Dibiase tells him off. Even though this is the blowoff to the Dibiase buys Sapphire angle, the Virgil/Dibiase angle overshadows the entire match. Virgil accidentally hits Dibiase and Dibiase flips out and assaults him. Dustin makes the hot tag to Dusty who jobs after a missed charge to the turnbuckle seconds later. Match was okay, but no more. Dibiase gets on the mic and chews out Virgil. A fan nails Dibiase with something during the promo. Dibiase orders Virgil to wrap the Million Dollar Belt around his waist. Virgil nails him with it, while the crowd and Piper go insane. There was four years of build to this moment and it paid off perfectly.

That's enough for tonight, since the Rumble match is next.

 

[snuffbox]

This is one of the best overall ppvs ever.

 

[Skywarp!]

This was a good PPV. It gets kind of lost and forgotten about--a kind of middle child syndrome--from being sandwiched between '90 and '92. The odd thing about it was how Knobbs was allowed to hang around so late (I didn't realize he was Hogan's buddy until Hogan Knows Best, so that kind of explains it).

 

[Damaramu]

I remember watching this as a kid and loving it because I got to watch that fat tub of goo Dusty Rhodes lose and his son get beat down. Like seriously I cannot communicate to you how much, even as a mark, I hated Dusty Rhodes.

 

[Skywarp!]

I always hated looking at that weird growth on his gut.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Enough of that horrible Bears game.

Mean Gene interviews Hulk Hogan who is the clear winner at this point after Slaughter winning the belt. Hogan dedicates his victory to the troops. Gene delivers a report that Slaughter has defaced the American Flag, something I don't believe he was willing to do which is why it wasn't shown on camera.

#1 is Bret Hart for the second time in four years. #2 is Dino Bravo. Bret nearly gets him out quickly. Gorilla says that one of the first five guys have no chance, one year before he was proven wrong.

#3 is Greg Valentine who goes after Bravo. This is just after Valentine's face turn after the horrible Rythm & Blues stint. Valentine eliminates Bravo, while Bret plays opossum and blindsides him.

#4 is Paul Roma. They have a fun three way match with every combination of two against one only for one to turn on the other.

#5 is Kerry Von Erich. Tornado Punches for Roma and Valentine.

#6 is Rick Martel. He tries to eliminate Bret, but Roma comes over to save him. Martel and Roma go at it and Martel almost gets him out until Bret returns the favour. Martel poses and Roma clobbers him. The first part of the match has been really fun thus far.

#7 is Saba Simba. I still don't know what Vince was thinking with this gimmick. Tornado Punch on Martel. The Model barely hangs on. Von Erich gets the Claw on Roma.

#8 is Butch. He marches around without attacking anybody. Simba tries to slam model over the top, but Martel hangs on and Simba falls out over the top.

#9 is Jake Roberts. Martel jumps him, but loses the slugfest. Crowd going nuts for Jake pummeling Martel. Jake signals for the DDT and Martel escapes through the bottom rope. Jake nearly gets Martel out when the Model was on the apron jawing with the refs.

#10 is Hercules. Power & Glory start working together against Butch. Bret has Martel almost out and Valentine comes along and almost gets him out too. Martel escapes back in and ties Jake up in the ropes. Von Erich saves him.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

#11 is Tito Santana. Roberts eliminates Roma. Tito immediately goes after Martel, of course. Martel has almost been eliminated several times now and hung on.

#12 is The Undertaker. He picks up Bret in a two-handed choke and dumps him to the floor.

#13 is Jimmy Snuka. Undertaker tosses Butch.

#14 is The British Bulldog. The ring is starting to get a little crowded.

#15 is Smash. He goes after former enemy Davey Boy Smith. Jake once again can't get the DDT on Martel. Martel pulls out Roberts from the apron. Martel gets caught gloating by Snuka.

#16 is Hawk. He hits everybody, which doesn't go well for him when they decide to team up against him.

#17 is Shane Douglas. Taker tosses Von Erich. Hawk tosses Snuka right after.

#18 is...Nobody. Monsoon and Piper start questioning the identity of Entrant #18. 18 has until the next entrance to come out.

#19 is Animal. 18 is officially eliminated. LOD clothesline the Undertaker out. Martel takes advantage and eliminates Hawk, then almost falls victim himself to Santana. This is one of the all-time great Rumble performances from Martel as he's in the mix of everything and has barely held on the entire time. This isn't one of those lying around resting 'Iron Man' performances.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

#20 is Crush. Demolition doubleteams Bulldog. Valentine is having a great Rumble too.

#21 is Hacksaw Jim Duggan. This is first appearance since his win in the first Rumble.

#22 is Earthquake. He eliminates Animal.

#23 is Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect. He takes his time getting to the ring. Perfect eliminates Hacksaw. Piper likes Perfect which is odd since he was feuding with him at house shows around this point.

#24 is Hulk Hogan. Smash is the first victim. Then he goes after Earthquake. Perfect saves him and Quake nearly gets Hogan out.

#25 is Haku. Hogan eliminates Valentine after 44 minutes. Lots of guys going a long time in this one. Martel nails Haku with a Flying Axehandle. Earthquake with a two handed chokelift on Perfect.

#26 is Jim Neidhart. Earthquake tosses Tito. Fellow Heenan Family members Perfect and Haku take turns traded chops with each other.

#27 is Luke. In one of the most famous moments in Rumble history, Luke marches down the aisle, marches across the ring, is casually tossed by Earthquake, and marches back down the aisle without breaking stride.

#28 is Brian Knobbs. Half the ring gangs up on him. Knobbs eliminates Hercules. Heenan insults Hercules on the outside.

#29 is Warlord. Hogan eliminates Crush. Martel has broken Dibiase's record time from last year. Hogan eliminates Warlord. Not quite as quickly as in 1989, but Warlord still did really bad.

#30 is Tugboat. That means the Macho King was the missing participant. Perfect goes flying off an Anvil shoulderblock. Douglas is eliminated by Knobbs. Quake steps on Perfect. Hogan goes at it with best friend Tugboat. Tugboat almost gets Hogan out and turns his back and Hogan comes back in and eliminates Tugboat. Remember this next year, Hogan! Perfect gets crotched on the top rope and dropkicked out by Bulldog. Heenan throws the towel into the crowd in disgust. Martel eliminates Neidhart. Bulldog eliminates Haku. Martel goes after Hogan and Piper and Moonsoon are really impressed with him. Martel makes the mistake of going up top, gets crotched and clotheslined out by Bulldog.

FINAL FOUR: Bulldog, Knobbs, Quake, Hogan

Quake and Knobbs team up to eliminate Bulldog. Knobbs being here doesn't bug me as much as it does others, as he's the only other member of Jimmy Hart's stable in the match other than Bravo (who was needed for the Valentine angle at the beginning). Earthquake Splash on Hogan, but he Hulks Up and eliminates Knobbs. Big Boot on Quake. Hogan nails Hart. Hogan goes to slam Quake, but can't do it. Big Elbows by Quake. Powerslam. Hulk Up #2! Big Boot. This time he slams him and clotheslines him out for the win. The best finishing sequence of the Rumbles I've seen thus far. This Rumble was a lot better than I remembered. Very good Rumble with one of the all-time great Rumble performances from Martel.

While I still think the 1990 Rumble Match was better, this was easily the best overall Rumble show to this point and probably one of the best PPVs the WWF has ever done. Fantastic show.

Best Match: Rockers/Orient Express
Worst Match: Mountie/Koko

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

Viva La Raza.

 

[Ed Wood Caulfield]

That picture is 1991 in a nutshell.

 

[BruiserBrody]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1885348598746898527

 

[snuffbox]

I haven't rewatched this yet this year but I have a feeling I'll still like Rockers-Orients and Boss Man-Barbarian on the undercard.

 

[AA484]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1885348598746898527

The mustard stain on his shirt is the cherry on top

 

[Valeyard]

I've accidentally watched it a few times since I've just had the Cock playing Rumbles in the background. It's a top to bottom great Rumble card but is still one of my least favorite Rumble matches.

 

[Hawk 34]

I strongly disagree. Move on if you got a Hogan thing who cares, the rest you got the complete nostalgia vibe with the Martel run, Hammer looking like he wants to die, Hercules getting ribbed by having to go 40 minutes completely gassed up, Piper exposing Saba Simba immediately, the iconic bushwhacker elimination spot.

 

[Valeyard]

Like it isn't bad whatsoever. I have no idea why I don't dig it as much as others, really. Like yeah it's a forgone conclusion and Knobs has no business going so far but more egregious shit happens in other years. Just doesn't hit for me.

 

[Brocklock]

It's pretty unmemorable. The top spot is the Bushwhacker elimination. I have a soft spot for every Rumble until like 98 or 99 though. Martel and Valentine getting great runs was nice.

 

[snuffbox]

I don't know if the original plan was to retire Andre with a win at that Rumble but, either way, I'm confident Hogan did a lot of whining to get the win.

 

[strummer]

The Observer said at the time that Valentine lasting so long was punishment for working a UWF taping

 

[BruiserBrody]

I don't know if the original plan was to retire Andre with a win at that Rumble but, either way, I'm confident Hogan did a lot of whining to get the win.

You are setting up Mania with....?

Business was cratering, and they needed Hulkamania fully recharged to try and recover from the Warrior recession.

--
Rumble has Taker vs LOD, which popped me as a youngster

 

[Hawk 34]

I can’t remember which Rumble it was but I feel like it was one of the 90s era ones where someone had a overly long run unintentionally because Patterson forgot to book their elimination spot but I can’t remember who that was. I don’t think it was Hercules in 91 because that had to be a rib but also, I can buy it too.

 

[strummer]

That was Rick Martel I believe.

Prichard mentioned it on his show. Can't remember what year.

Well it might have been this Rumble

 

[snuffbox]

Yeah, I think that was Model Martel in '91.

I like the 1991 Rumble match but that might be nostalgia bias. It has all the moments mentioned already mentioned plus it's still a stacked roster even with big names from the first couple years on ppv are gone...Andre etc. And while the matches are fantastic and/or significant, losing Dusty's star power and the Rockers' bumps hurts it. I agree that Hogan is the right choice to win but the foregoneness of it might be another thing that makes it drag for some people. Macho Man should've been in it.

 

[Hawk 34]

Since the guaranteed title shot wasn’t a crutch just yet, Hogan didn’t have to win to set up his program with Slaughter.

However there aren’t any other babyfaces you can legitimately put over on top there and you definitely couldn’t have a heel go over the same night Sarge just stole the title, so Hogan was the only choice.

I think Savage being chased into the ring and chased out by Warrior would been a greater visual rather than the murky “what happened there” grumble from Gorilla and Piper.

Is Virgil turning on Dibiase still the best non rumble match moment (not match) in the history of the show?

 

[Valeyard]

Hogan had to win after the Slaughter win, like just on a send the crowd home happy level.