That time Vanilla Ice went ballistic in front of Jon Stewart, Dennis Leary, Janeane Garafolo, and Chris Kattan

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I feel like when I'm on my death bed, the last thing I'll hear in my head is Chris Kattan screaming "NO VANILLA NO!"

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

You die. The tunnel seems long, dark, and every sound echoes into the abyss. For hours you wander deeper in, a tiny dot of light so far away that you can't help but feel despair, as if you'll never reach it like so many goals you had in life.

Suddenly, you hear it. A faint thud thud thud thud that you feel in what once were your bones. Every step closer makes the light grow, its warmth against your flesh bringing a smile to your withered, ghastly face. Thud thud thud thud.

You can make out a word. Maybe two. "Love?"

"What...love?"

A third.

"...is..."

After months, years, of moving closer and closer, the light grows so bold that you can't remember ever seeing anything else.

"What..."

You can't remember...

"...is..."

...anything else.

"...love?"

Suddenly, you open your eyes. This is paradise. Haddaway pierces through your mind, Chris Kattan holds your hand. You're safe here.

...and then, it falls away. The facade that you've been in paradise this whole time melts into a pool of realization that, no, you are somewhere else.

"VANILLA, NOOOO!"

You. Are. The. Tape.

 

[BUTT]

I'm surprised Kamala made the V-Ice clip the focus of this thread rather than posting the full 25 Lame list and discussing the merits of the videos included.

25. Spin Doctors "Two Princes" (1993)
24. Hammer "Too Legit To Quit" (1991)
23. Wilson Phillips "Hold On" (1990)
22. Chumbawamba "Tubthumping" (1998)
21. Billy Squier "Rock Me Tonight" (1984)
20. 4 Non Blondes "What's Up" (1993)
19. Motley Crue "Without You" (1989)
18. Snow "Informer" (1993)
17. Paula Abdul "Rush Rush" (1991)
16. Warrant "Heaven" (1989)
15. Crash Test Dummies "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" (1994)
14. Aqua "Barbie Girl" (1997)
13. Journey "Separate Ways" (1983)
12. Winger "Seventeen" (1988)
11. Wham! "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" (1984)
10. Debbie Gibson "Electric Youth" (1989)
9. Vanilla Ice "Ice, Ice, Baby" (1990)
8. Milli Vanilli "Girl You Know It's True" (1989)
7. Gerardo "Rico Suave" (1991)
6. Daryl Hall & John Oates "Maneater" (1982)
5. Los Del Rio "Macarena" (1996)
4. Nelson "After The Rain" (1990)
3. Eddie Murphy featuring Michael Jackson "Whatzupwitu" (1993)
2. Chunky A "Owww!" (1993)
1. Don Johnson "Heartbeat" (1986)

However if that's too off-track I can get Brocklock in here to discuss Rob's nu-metal career.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I will use any opportunity I can to bring up “The Horny Song” which somehow might no be top three goofiest Vanilla Ice song.

 

[BUTT]

Now that you're feelin' it I see you gettin' weak
You getting real close
You reachin that peak
You like high altitudes in a Lear Jet
You get them hips like the pistons in a Corvette
Slow down or I'll have to pull you over
Search you handcuff you and do a move on you
You get a G.W.B. that stands for girl with a body
Pumpin' like a hottie
Seems like you got switches and I'm hittin em
Dual wheel motion keep pumpin em
And throw it east to west and put a hump in it
Backstroke, and boogie with a bump in it
Show me how you do it like that
How you got stacked, how you scramble like a quarterback
I want you weak in the knees and shakin' in your pants
All I wanna do is make you dance, come on!
Come on! Feel it!

~i'm comin for you...~

maybe not 100% but THAT'S FROM MEMORY

 

[BUTT]

Really gonna have to ask Kamala to change that tongue-wagging emoji as it conjures the uncomfortable image of him plunging that red mane down south and taking a dip in Mrs. Van Winkle's ice cream.

 

[AA484]

I'm surprised Kamala made the V-Ice clip the focus of this thread rather than posting the full 25 Lame list and discussing the merits of the videos included.

25. Spin Doctors "Two Princes" (1993)
24. Hammer "Too Legit To Quit" (1991)
23. Wilson Phillips "Hold On" (1990)
22. Chumbawamba "Tubthumping" (1998)
21. Billy Squier "Rock Me Tonight" (1984)
20. 4 Non Blondes "What's Up" (1993)
19. Motley Crue "Without You" (1989)
18. Snow "Informer" (1993)
17. Paula Abdul "Rush Rush" (1991)
16. Warrant "Heaven" (1989)
15. Crash Test Dummies "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" (1994)
14. Aqua "Barbie Girl" (1997)
13. Journey "Separate Ways" (1983)
12. Winger "Seventeen" (1988)
11. Wham! "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" (1984)
10. Debbie Gibson "Electric Youth" (1989)
9. Vanilla Ice "Ice, Ice, Baby" (1990)
8. Milli Vanilli "Girl You Know It's True" (1989)
7. Gerardo "Rico Suave" (1991)
6. Daryl Hall & John Oates "Maneater" (1982)
5. Los Del Rio "Macarena" (1996)
4. Nelson "After The Rain" (1990)
3. Eddie Murphy featuring Michael Jackson "Whatzupwitu" (1993)
2. Chunky A "Owww!" (1993)
1. Don Johnson "Heartbeat" (1986)

However if that's too off-track I can get Brocklock in here to discuss Rob's nu-metal career.

In before @The Art of Postin' says that the Winger song kicks ass

"Maneater" is by far the best song on that list, though

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Looking at that panel, you think it is a before they were stars type thing but everyone on the show was already damp s which makes it even worse.

Admitting you like “Seventeen” in 2021 should probably put you on some sort of list.

 

[Mickey Massuco]

In before @The Art of Postin' says that the Winger song kicks ass

"Maneater" is by far the best song on that list, though

That winger song is trash but a lot of other songs on the list are good. Just a bunch of nerds shitting on people who made good art imo

 

[Mickey Massuco]

Damn looking through the list proper like I have found at least ten songs I like these people suck tbh I don’t blame my man Vanny Ice for acting out.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Delayed observation...they were making fun of the music videos specifically not the songs but I'm sure the music had some snark thrown at it.

This special was also the first time I saw "Whazupwitu?". That was the hardest I've ever laughed at the unintentional comedy of a music video until @BUTT posted "Song of Scatland" like a year or so ago. In fact, those two videos are kind of similar

Not sure why that song got buried (besides that it sucked) since it was right before MJ's first molestation scandal. Maybe it was because during Eddie's career low point. I think that was the last time they let him record an album (although he had those surprisingly decent reggae singles 10ish years ago).

Opening track is insane. Just a who's who of insanely successful pop and R&B stars of 1992-93 singing "Yeah" for four minutes.

A track from Eddie Murphy's 1992 album "Love's Alright." Herbie Hancock on keyboards, Stanley Clarke on bass and Stevie Wonder on harmonica. On vocals were Baby Face, Bon Jovi, Garth Brooks, En Vogue, Johnny Gill, Amy Grant, Aaron Hall, M.C. Hammer, Heavy D, Howard Hewitt, Julio Iglesias, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Elton John, Patti LaBelle, Emmanuel Lewis, Paul McCartney, Eddie Murphy, Teddy Pendergrass, Richie Sambora, Luther Vandross, Barry White, and Stevie Wonder.

People really liked the Beverly Hills Cop movies I guess.

 

[Gary]

I'm surprised Kamala made the V-Ice clip the focus of this thread rather than posting the full 25 Lame list and discussing the merits of the videos included.

25. Spin Doctors "Two Princes" (1993)
24. Hammer "Too Legit To Quit" (1991)
23. Wilson Phillips "Hold On" (1990)
22. Chumbawamba "Tubthumping" (1998)
21. Billy Squier "Rock Me Tonight" (1984)
20. 4 Non Blondes "What's Up" (1993)
19. Motley Crue "Without You" (1989)
18. Snow "Informer" (1993)
17. Paula Abdul "Rush Rush" (1991)
16. Warrant "Heaven" (1989)
15. Crash Test Dummies "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" (1994)
14. Aqua "Barbie Girl" (1997)
13. Journey "Separate Ways" (1983)
12. Winger "Seventeen" (1988)
11. Wham! "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" (1984)
10. Debbie Gibson "Electric Youth" (1989)
9. Vanilla Ice "Ice, Ice, Baby" (1990)
8. Milli Vanilli "Girl You Know It's True" (1989)
7. Gerardo "Rico Suave" (1991)
6. Daryl Hall & John Oates "Maneater" (1982)
5. Los Del Rio "Macarena" (1996)
4. Nelson "After The Rain" (1990)
3. Eddie Murphy featuring Michael Jackson "Whatzupwitu" (1993)
2. Chunky A "Owww!" (1993)
1. Don Johnson "Heartbeat" (1986)

However if that's too off-track I can get Brocklock in here to discuss Rob's nu-metal career.

Back in the days when file sharing was a big deal, I decided out of morbid curiosity to download songs from Chunky A (Arseno Hall with a comedic rap persona) and "Owww!" isn't even the worst song