Chat! culturecrossfire.slack.com

WrestleMania XI

K

KingPK

KingPK
Messages
16,029
Reaction score
3
Points
0
Location
Massachusetts
The opening video exclusively focuses on celebrities. Well, this is off to a good start.

It seems to seriously pain the singer of America the Beautiful to actually sing the song. She's not very good, either. Oh, Wikipedia says it was a Special Olympian. Now don't I feel like an asshole?

Holy shit, the Allied Powers have the best theme ever. They win an unremarkable match against the Blu Brothers....and get pyro. Overcompensating to impress the new viewers much, Vince?

There are technical glitches all over the show so far. Vince probably wanted to murder someone.
 
These photographers are getting in EVERYBODY'S way and Razor's music cuts out before his pyro goes off. Is Kevin Dunn drunk or getting blown by Pam Anderson?

I just noticed the Kid is wearing a kimono. What?

This is another unremarkable match, though it's Jeff Jarrett so what should I have expected?

DQ finish. LAAAAAAME. Then the Kid gets beat up. Real good support there, buddy.

Can we go back to the time Jenny McCarthy was only known for having tits?
 
Christ, enough with the psuedo-celebrities.

Amazing that the crowd is still into these completely bland matches. Either 1995 crowds were easily pleased or this is WWF family and friends night.

An MLB umpire is ref because baseball is on strike. TOPICAL.

Taker just grabs the urn from DiBiase three minutes in. What an angle. Now Kama is out and steals it back. There is a match still going on, right? Oh, and the crowd is dead now.

Slam and a clothesline.....wins? Holy shit, worst match of the Streak by far.

MONGO. The football players cut a variation of the same exact promo. God, Nick Tuturro is horrible.
 
These photographers might want to actually take some pictures of these guys coming to the ring.

Vince might as well have said to the Gunns "You're fucked guys."

OK, Owen and Yoko were a fantastic team. Owen gets in trouble he can just run to the guy that'll just sit on them. Great double team moves by the Gunns too.

I always loved Cornette's rhythmic pounding of the ring to get the fans to chant for the faces.

Yoko squishy squishy's Billy, Owen tags in, goes for the sharpshooter, sees Billy's organs leaking out so he just pins him and celebrates like he did something. Owen ruled. Not a bad match either.
 
The Gonzalez match has be the worst match in the Streak. I think The Undertaker tried to Tombstone Bundy but couldn't grip him, hence body slam.
 
Yeah, the Bundy match is bad but still better than the Giant Gonzalez deal.
 
This is funny. Second time this week, somebody's called Taker-Bundy worst match of the Streak while forgetting Taker-Gonzalez! First time, it was me calling Taker-Bundy "Worst Match of the Streak"!

To be fair... the Gonzalez match is obviously worse but not by as much as you'd think! I've been watching a lot of shoots by guys who were around WWF in '94-'95 lately, apparently Bundy wasn't too keen on putting over New Generation dudes (only three dudes I remember going over him were Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, and HOG...of all people) and was kind of a egomaniacal prick and it sort of shows here.

It still baffles me that Bundy chose to make his comeback in WWF over WCW. He would have fit in well in '94/'95 WCW, relatively speaking but stood out like a sore thumb in '95 WWF.
 
I think Hogan-Bundy II would've been a better Starrcade 94 main event than what we got with Beefcake.
 
Backlund is 45 here? I wish I look that good when I get that age.

WHADDYA SAY?
WHADDYA SAY?
WHADDYA SAY?

So they are basically slapping on every submission hold known to man. I already am sick of this match.

Piper, you don't have to stick the mic in their face after EVERY MOVE.

Apparently AUGUHUHUGUHUGHUH is Pompous Know-It-All for "I quit". Bret's worst WM match and that includes the Vince match.

WHADDYA SAY?

Pam's gone. I don't blame her. Diesel stumbles over his promo. Everyone is off their game tonight.
 
Lawler asks how old JTT is ???

Oh goddamnit I take back what I said about Uecker at IV. Fuck Nick Turturro.

Oh yeah, this is the match where all the fotogs piss Michaels the hell off. He's already almost landed on two of them.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. These idiots must have thrown both guys off their game. And now the crowd is chanting for Sid.

After a quick start the pace has slowed to a crawl. And now here's a sleeper. The crowd tepidly cheers for Diesel as he makes a comeback. No wonder they turned Shawn so fast.

This match should not be this long. And there's an off camera ref bump. Wow.

Sup Faith No More Guy in the second row ringside? Fans boo Diesel's comeback and he blows the powerbomb for the win. I'm shocked Shawn didn't run to Vince and bitch at him right at ringside. A good match was somewhere in there but it was hidden by bullshit.
 
Aw, they cut Salt N Pepa's performance. GOOD.

I still love Volkoff's jacket with the cents symbol. Why does the MNF theme let itself get whored out so much :(?

THERE ARE TOO MANY MOTHERFUCKING PEOPLE AROUND THIS GODDAMN RING

The football players seem a little too much into this. It's fake, guys.

LT gets one of the biggest pops of the night. Mission accomplished Vince. How much did he end up hawking that tracksuit for I wonder.

Ok, LT BLASTING Bam Bam with a forearm at the start was awesome. The guy was willing to learn and Bam Bam is bumping like a boss for him.

This is better than every celebrity stunt match WCW ever did. LT blows a near fall by kicking out too soon so Bam Bam covers by selling a knee injury.

Man, that last flying forearm looked like it killed poor Bammer. Shockingly good match considering who was in there.

So Is this worse than IV?. Honestly, no. 1995 WWF was the drizzling shits so they had to do the celebrity thing to not completely tank the show and there were some decent matches in there. IV is still a lazily booked slog that took place in the height of Hulkamania.
 
This is better than every celebrity stunt match WCW ever did.
Click to expand...

I would have said the same thing until I watched GAB 1996 - Flair/Anderson vs. Mongo/Kevin Green was really good.
 
https://twitter.com/x/status/2031882867941523897

Dibiase "You lost to a football player!"

JR: Used his erection from hanging out with the NFL All Pros until slightly after the age of 67 when he first had to actually use Blue Chew.

---

This made we wish face Bigelow stuck around long enough to be an early Vader victim in 96.
 
Yeah, they should've done Bigelow better. Have someone else put Goldust over at Survivor Series, move Bam Bam into the Wild Card, and, if not a survivor at least give him an elimination or two. He'd be perfect for Vader's first feud. It'd also give Yoko more time to try getting in shape without being rushed back too quick. Vader wins at WM in his debut but it's competitive (maybe some Cornette interference too). Rematch at IYH goes double dq; no stip to keep the spot on the Diesel-Shawn main event. Do a stip for the blowoff at Beware of Dog where the undercard had to be stronger with Bulldog a little below Nash on overness. Then move Vader into the main events after Davey looking even more dangerous. It's summer '96 and you still have a viable Bam Bam Bigelow...keep him face for another year and he's a good opponent for rising Austin, heel Bret, etc. We know Bigelow is still awesome in '98 so, heel or face, there's potential stuff with Taker, Kane, Mankind, Outlaws in tags, Rock, Austin.

Instead of running him out of NY in Nov 1995, Bigelow could've been Big Show's first match and first big WWF win in 1999 instead.
 
Honestly if you put Bigelow in Razor's spot, beating Douglas and being the object of Goldust's affection, and turn in the summer for a fresh main event run with Diesel/Shawn/Bret/Taker, it works out really well for all involved. Even if Bigelow still doesn't stick it out, he's used in a way that actually makes sense and the Goldust feud becomes funnier.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top