WWF Royal Rumble '96

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

http://culturecrossfire.com/wrestling/royal-rumble-96/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook#.U6BGK_ldXd4
Brody just posted a review of it...and the RAW episodes on the Network should get me to the point of this PPV in about six months. I've always liked this Rumble even though it's probably the second most predictable of all time behind '98.

 

[BruiserBrody]

I was pleasantly surprised by the whole card until Bret and Taker somehow managed to have a terrible match. Bret legit hurt his knee but that was in the last 5 minutes.

 

[Mattdotcom]

Does the Network version begin with Sunny taking a bath?

 

[BruiserBrody]

Does the Network version begin with Sunny taking a bath?

Yes.

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Ahhh...no Duke the Dumpster vs. HHH match.

MATCH #1: Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett. Decent match, bad finish. Ahmed looked good, even doing a somersault senton off the top at one point (and missing). The finish was ridiculous and didn't bode well for Ahmed in the future, even if it was a beautiful guitar shot. I like Jarrett, but he definitely should have jobbed here.

MATCH #2 (WWF Tag Team Championship): The Smoking Gunns vs. The Bodydonnas. The Smoking Gunns were a lot cooler when they had the dusters and revolvers. Sunny is way more over than anybody in the match. Sunny gets knocked off the apron by Billy and the fans start booing him heavily for it. Billy goes to see if she is alright, but she was faking and he gets jumped. It is astonishing how good she was at this point. Gunns win anyways. Satisfactory match.

Billionaire Ted. I maintain that this first skit was actually a quite entertaining one shot advertisement. It was when Vince took it further and it became more vindictive that it became Wrestlecrap. One part funny in retrospect is Ted asking why he can't just buy the WWF's New Generation Stars. In two months the real WCW would do just that and dominate the WWF for two years.

MATCH #3 (WWF Intercontinental Championship): Razor Ramon vs. Goldust. This is really the first true attempt of a more adult product that would eventually become the Attitude Era. I cared far more about this match at the time than the World Title match later, which is a good sign of how effective it was. Goldust keeps trying to feel Razor up. Tons of stalling. 123 Kid runs in from the crowd and attacks Razor giving Goldust the title. Bad match, great angle.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Royal Rumble time. This is the first time it didn't main event.

#1 is Hunter Hearst Helmsley by virtue of his defeat to Duke Droese on the Free for All. Too bad they didn't put the Free For All matches on the Network. #2 is Henry Godwin.

#3 is Bob Backlund. This is the first year they play the entrance music for each entrant.. It was a long time coming. As a fan, I had been wanting them to do it since the beginning.

#4 is Jerry Lawler. Lawler goes after the slop bucket, but Godwin escapes Backlund and HHH and throws it at the heels with Lawler getting the worst of it.

#5 is Bob Holly. HHH almost eliminates Godwin. I have to mention I really like the job Hennig has been doing on commentary. He's done his research and is doing a good job of putting the wrestlers over. Vince is horrible as always, of course.

#6 is King Mabel. Not much going on.

#7 is Jake Roberts to a big pop. He clears the ring with Damian. Except for Lawler, who he catches and gives the snake treatment too. Lawler bails and hides under the ring. A lot more comedy spots this year than in previous Rumbles, much more in line with modern Rumbles.

#8 is Dory Funk Jr. Man, he looks old. He goes after fellow old-time, Backlund. This must be about the longest a Rumble has gone without somebody getting eliminated.

#9 is Yokozuna. Backlund gets the Chicken Wing on Funk, but gets nailed by Yoko from behind and eliminated. Yoko then goes after Mabel in the Battle of the Fatties.

#10 is 123 Kid, pursued by Razor. Kid escapes, and the officials drag Razor to the back. Kid gets pummeled by Mabel.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Royal Rumble time. This is the first time it didn't main event.

I'm gonna be the dork who points out the Young Stallions/Islanders 2 Out of 3 Falls Match closed out '88. Can't really call it the main event though since it was just timefiller before the show ended.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

#11 is Takao Omori with Orient Express Theme.. Perfect trying to put over these wrestlers and Vince shitting all over them is very annoying.

#12 is Savio Vega. King of the Ring 1995 Finals Rematch takes place as if anybody wanted that. Yokozuna eliminates Mabel. Roberts eliminates Omori. Perfect knows who's next, and can't wait for this one.

#13 is Vader making his WWF debut. Savio eliminates Funk.

#14 is Doug Gilbert. Perfect talks about being partners with Eddie Gilbert in early 80s WWF. Jake Roberts eliminated by Vader.

#15 is Squat (or SWAT, I'm not quite sure) Team Member #1. Vader eliminates Gilbert. Squat Team Guy eliminated by Vader. Camp Cornette explodes as Yoko attacks Vader.

#16 is the other Squat Team Member, and both come back to the ring. Vader destroys both of them. Vader eliminates one and Yoko the other. I can't tell which one was the guy legally in the match.

#17 is Owen Hart. Yoko and Vader doubleteam Savio.

#18 is Shawn Michaels. Vader eliminates Savio. Shawn attacks fellow Clique members HHH & 123 Kid. Vader's mask comes off and he slugs it out with Yoko. Shawn eliminates both Yokozuna and Vader. Shawn Gorilla Presses the 123 Kid out.

#19 is Hakushi. Yoko and Vader get in a fight on the floor. Vader comes back in and eliminates Shawn Michaels. Fans are in shock over that one. He tosses everyone else too. Monsoon comes out and orders Vader out. Vader shoves Gorilla on the way out of the ring.

#20 is Tatanka. All the guys eliminated by Vader are allowed back in, telegraphing HBK's victory in this thing. Shawn tosses Cornette. Owen Hart eliminates Hakushi.

#21 is Aldo Montoya. Perfect: "He's got his jock on the wrong part of his body." Michaels goes for a walk. He finds Jerry Lawler under the ring. Lawler gets tossed back in and eliminated by Michaels. Montoya is eliminated by Tatanka.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

#22 is Diesel. He eliminates Tatanka.

#23 is Kama. Diesel accidently punches Michaels.

#24 is Steve Austin. Austin eliminates Sparky.

#25 is Barry Horowitz. He gets attacked by Diesel upon stepping through the ropes. Vince starts doing his usual 'WHATAMANEUVER' bullshit and Perfect corrects him as to the actual name right after. Diesel eliminates HHH.

#26 is Fatu, who I doubt will make much a difference in this match.

#27 is Isaac Yankem DDS. Horowitz is eliminated by Owen. Owen hit Shawn with the killer enzuigiri. He goes to eliminate Shawn and Diesel comes up from behind and tosses him out, which is missed by Vince because he's too busy looking at the replay of the enzuigiri.

#28 is Marty Jannetty. Shawn and Marty fight.

#29 is The British Bulldog. Bulldog eliminates Jannetty. Fatu eliminates Austin. Yankem eliminates Fatu.

#30 is Duke Droese by virtue of his victory over HHH earlier. Michaels and Bulldog spill outside and Owen Hart runs back down to attack Michaels. Michaels eliminates Yankem. Droese is eliminated by Diesel and Kama.

Final Four: Diesel, Kama, Michaels, Bulldog.

Michaels eliminates Bulldog. Diesel eliminates Kama. Shawn nails Diesel with the SCM from behind to win his second straight. The ending was rushed, but a number of fun spots throughout makes this one of the most underrated Rumbles and my favourite since 1992 thus far.

Diesel reacts poorly to the loss and attacks Kama. Shawn starts stripping, but Diesel interrupts him. He decides to celebrate...this time.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Royal Rumble time. This is the first time it didn't main event.

I'm gonna be the dork who points out the Young Stallions/Islanders 2 Out of 3 Falls Match closed out '88. Can't really call it the main event though since it was just timefiller before the show ended.

Yeah, it was basically background noise for the Hogan and Andre interviews. Plus it wasn't even PPV. It was more like an extended SNME.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

MATCH #5 (WWF Championship): Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker . Taker and Diesel have a confrontation during Taker's entrance. This is during the mask period, where Mabel broke Taker's face. This match is very slow and boring. I expected much better out of these two, and they would do a lot better a year later. Crowd reaction is mixed to say the least. Bret plays heel, like he did with Diesel a year earlier, although the results aren't nearly as good. Bret takes off the turnbuckle pad and rips off Taker's mask. I guess he had healed by this point. Bret rams Taker into the exposed turnbuckle. Big boos for that. Bret gets caught in the Tombstone and Diesel runs in for the DQ. Way to make your champion look strong. Maybe there was a good 15 minute match in there somewhere, but it stretched for nearly 30 minutes and it took forever, then had a crappy ending on top of that. Diesel flips off Taker.

Well...the show was going along pretty good but then the last match just left a real sour taste in my mouth. Can't recommend the show, but the Rumble itself was good.

Best Match: The Rumble
Worst Match: Taker/Bret

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

I just want to add that Diesel was great on this show. This is the character he should have been for that year long run, instead of the kiss ass babyface.

 

[OG]

I feel like his time in WCW gace Nash has such a (deserved) rep for being lazy that people overlook that he worked his ass between winning the title and leaving the WWF. The booking was awful but he improved substantially over that time.

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

From Survivor Series 1996 to Good Friends, Better Enemies, he was arguably the best the thing in the WWF.

 

[Skywarp!]

Is this the best Jake Roberts ever did in a battle royale/Royal Rumble?

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Is this the best Jake Roberts ever did in a battle royale/Royal Rumble?

He lasted a little over 20 minutes in the 88 Rumble, so I would go with that.

 

[BruiserBrody]

Is this the best Jake Roberts ever did in a battle royale/Royal Rumble?

He won at least one house show Bunkhouse royal in early 88/late 87. Memorably he won a 2 on 1 finish over Demolition via Damien usage.