It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time: Ringmaster (1998)

“It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time” is a series that focuses on movies that either have a bad critical reputation, bombed in the box office or serve as guilty pleasures. It will largely focus on genre movies, though I will venture outside of that area.

You probably didn’t know this (or more likely, you don’t care) but “The Jerry Springer Show” is still on the air. I’m kind of amazed myself, considering the rest of the world has moved on to the trashier and more exploitative aspects of reality TV to pay any attention to a “it’s not really scripted but it really is” talk show.

Nonetheless, it can sometimes seem hard to believe that once upon a time (the 90’s and some of the 00’s) that this was one of the most talked about things on TV. That a show hosted by a former mayor of Cincinnati, featuring Klansmen, incest and more was seen by both the moral majority and even the most staunch of liberals as the downfall of civilization. That the popularity of the show would lead us to his bodyguard, Steve “The Walking Penis” Wilkos having a show, or that it would possibly predate the rise of the likes of Honey Boo-Boo.

So, after many appearances in movies and other television shows, it wasn’t all that surprising that Hollywood came knocking to give him his own show. Sure, everyone knew that 1.) It would only appeal to his fan base, and 2.) That film critics would savage it. What’s even less surprising is that almost 15 years later, nobody remembers the damn thing, even less so than the show it’s based on.

Our film at first centers around what else, a white trash family from Sarasota, FL. You see, Angel Zorzak (Jaime Pressley) has been cheating with her mom Connie’s husband (Will McNamara.) Connie (Molly Hagan) isn’t going to have none of this bullshit, so she constantly finds ways to get back at her daughter-including fucking Angel’s boyfriend. Meanwhile, in Detroit, the black part of the equation (gotta offend-er, feature a minority) Starletta (Wendy Raquel Robinson) is pissed off because her boyfriend Demond (Michael Jai White) has been fucking all her friends.

So, with all this adultery going on, whose going to be the man who saves the day? Why, it’s Jerry Farrelly (Springer), whose talk show in L.A. is the place where people like to vent their frustrations and air their extra dirty laundry on the air in front of America. Because what better place to reveal a bunch of embarrassing family problems than on TV instead of a psychiatrist.

Unsurprisingly, much of the movie is made up of backstabbing, profanity and things like getting to watch Jerry Springer have sex. Oh, and a sub plot involving a producer picking up a cross dresser. What helps to make this awkward are the rare moments in which it actually tries to drum up sympathy and humanity out of all of this. Granted, trying to make terribly flawed people human is nothing new and completely possible, but the people featured don’t actually resemble human beings as much as they do grotesque, exaggerated versions of bad stereotypes. How am I supposed to feel anything for Connie when she’s almost as awful as her daughter, and not once comes off as a good person?

Even more beguiling is when during the show, someone calls Farrelly out on his bullshit circus. So, how does Farrelly react? Does he have an epiphany? No. He instead stands up for himself, essentially saying “Hey, we get stuff like ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’, so whose to say these people can’t tell their stories?”  I could go on and on about this argument, but that would take a while, so instead I want to point out that it’s obvious the whole speech is clearly disingenuous. Nobody watches “The Jerry Springer Show” for his “Final Thought”, and he knows that. At the same time, it’s disconcerting to watch this monologue because there’s a level of smug self-satisfaction to it all. Springer tries to come off as an advocate for the blue collar American, but nothing about his show or this movie works that way. This is all something that wants you to laugh at these people, not recognize them as flawed human beings. Trying to turn it around into something else is more than a little insulting.

Everything about “Ringmaster” reeks of a relic from the 90’s. It’s not the cool kind of relic like “The Fifth Element” or the kind that you can get ironic enjoyment out of like a bad cartoon show. This is the kind of relic that makes you glad the decade has ended. Everything about it is embarrassingly bad at best or condescendingly cynical at worst. As it all lurches on through bad dialogue and worse humor, I couldn’t help but feel glad that the movie has faded into obscurity. It’s all a part of the decade that revels in the worst aspects of humanity and offers nothing but gaudy, depressing spectacle than makes you hate the human race.

All of that being said, I’m pretty sure Springer is glad that this movie has been forgotten by most. I remember seeing an interview with him about a year ago talking about a game show he hosts called “Baggage.” While it also revels in human fuck ups, it’s at least nowhere near as depressing or awful as his talk show, and he’s probably happy for that fact. Besides, he said it best on one of those “I Love the 90’s” specials on VH1:

“I can’t understand why anyone would want to watch this show.”

Next Time: Hollywood tried-and failed-to adapt the popular “Street Fighter” games more than once. At least the first time was kind of amusing.

Photo Credit: fredcamino