Sage Cortez
So, after a WrestleMania that was certainly a commercial success, we head into a Saturday Night’s Main Event that is a loaded card from top to bottom. We have a 2 out of 3 falls match for the WWF Tag Team Championship, a big tag match with Hogan involved, and a match between Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat. That certainly sounds good! There is only a week’s worth of stuff from April at most, so moving forward to a show that took place in May is not a very big deal for me. This is, as many of the other SNME’s had to this point, taking place in a building that seats around 12,000.
– Taped to Air May 3rd, 1986, from Providence, Rhode Island
The show opens with a video summing up the matches tonight, including Paul Orndorff vs. Adrian Adonis. Oh shit, it’s playing on the gay thing pretty seriously, with Adonis saying he wants Orndorff. What the hell. Hogan and JYD have a surprise for the Funk Brothers, too. Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are our commentators tonight. Noooo! No Ventura!
The Funk Brothers (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Hulk Hogan & Junkyard Dog (w/Haiti Kid)
Pre-Match Thoughts: I guess Hogan’s way of combating Jimmy Hart’s influence is to have a midget at ringside. In any case, this is JYD’s revenge match for what happened at WrestleMania, which was his defeat against the Funk Brothers. Seeing as Hogan doesn’t have a new program yet, this is perfect placement for him! Before the match, the Funks and Jimmy Hart have a little skit and promo. Both are not worth further mention, until JIMMY JACK FUNK shows up. Hogan and JYD have a promo as well, but there’s not a lot to say. JYD looks to not be in the best of shape, blinking a lot and that kind of thing. During the entrance, Hogan gets mobbed. Should make the aisle wider.
Match Review: JYD slams Terry first thing, and gives those slams out to both, then Hogan headbutts the Funks and does JYD’s dog taunt. Haiti Kid tried to attack Jimmy Hart, but nearly got caught and scurried back to his side of the ring. Ha. Dory tried to slam JYD and was given another bodyslam for his trouble, and he bails to the outside. Terry comes in now, and drives JYD back to the corner. He misses a charge to the corner and goes out of the ring, which is another hilarious bit from the master of taking excellent bumps. Yes, I’m going there. Terry is a master at it. JYD gives Terry a clothesline, but he reaches his corner and tags his brother. Hogan tags in too, and they criss-cross. Terry runs in, they do some silly shit, and Dory gets beaten up and slammed very hard by Hogan. Hogan drops an elbow for 2, and tags in JYD for a clothesline. Cover got 1. Terry tags in now, and chops JYD as best he can, before dragging him to his corner. Dory and Terry work over JYD, and Hogan tries to make the save, but cannot. The Funks give JYD a double clothesline, but Dory misses a charge to the corner, and Hogan whips Terry into the corner, causing him to flip to the outside. Then, Jimmy Hart does the most heelish thing I’ve seen him do in the WWF, which was hit Haiti Kid with the branding iron, knocking him out cold. How can you hurt a dwarf like that? JYD carries the Kid to the back, and we head to a commercial.
It’s Hogan by himself after the break, and he’s beating up both of his opponents until JYD comes back. Dory gives Hogan some hard uppercuts, but gets his suplex reversed. Hogan’s cover got a 2 count. Dory sends Hogan to the outside, and Terry clocks him in the ribs with the branding iron. He and Jimmy Hart both stomp on Hogan, then Terry throws him into the guardrail. Unfortunately for Terry, JYD runs over and bodyslams Hogan on the concrete. Then Hogan BACKDROPS Terry on the concrete, what a nut that Terry Funk is. Back in the ring, Hogan gives Dory a big boot, and it seems that Haiti Kid is back at ringside too. JYD tags in and gets knocked down with an uppercut, then Terry tags in and they both clothesline each other. Terry gets up and slams JYD, then heads to the top. He tries a diving headbutt and pretty much kills himself, then Hogan tags in. Clothesline, leg drop, match over with Hogan and JYD winning at around 10:00 shown. That certainly was a short buildup to the finish.
The Funks then get their hands on Haiti Kid, which was the real goal here. They set him up to get slapped by Jimmy Hart, who knocks him out with a slap. While Hart is setting HK up for a branding iron shot, Hogan pulls him out of the ring and Haiti Kid slaps Jimmy. HAHA. Jimmy Jack Funk is in the ring now, so the Funks have a numerical advantage, but they leave anyway.
My Thoughts: Unfortunately, it seems that Terry left the WWF the next day, That’s the way things go sometimes. It does seem that things were on good terms, so maybe Vince wanted him to come back, but as we know that didn’t happen for a long time. It’s unfortunate that I won’t be watching any Terry Funk matches for a while, as they were very enjoyable. Outside of my review series (which is WWE, WCW, and ECW), it seems that the only way I will be watching his matches is if WWF shows I’ve watched already, or territories that are not part of this series, are shown on WWE Network. This was a wild match. Very well put together, and the parts with JYD didn’t drag at all. That’s a positive sign. I wasn’t a huge fan of the finish and that will prevent me from giving out a higher rating, but the post-match angle and stuff with Haiti Kid was pretty good. **1/2.
King Kong Bundy vs. Uncle Elmer
Pre-Match Thoughts: This may not be good. Apparently they did a weigh-in before this match. Bundy weighed 468 pounds. When it’s Elmer’s turn, he gets buried. He has a bucket that says ‘Uncle Elmer’s Pig Parts’, and he weighs 430 pounds. I’m not buying those weights.
Match Review: Bundy looks small in comparison to Elmer, to be honest. These two goons push each other around, do some silly “you can’t hurt me” shoulderblocks, but Bundy clobbers him down to his knees. Bundy chokes Elmer, but Elmer fights back and drives Bundy back to the corner. Elmer rams his ass into Bundy, and whips him into the next buckle. He lands a corner splash and tries for one more, but misses and Bundy elbow drops Elmer. Bundy goes to cover Elmer, and gets the victory at 2:35.
My Thoughts: I am so glad this was short. Shitty, shit, shit match. Continuing with the theme of guys leaving the WWF, Elmer is also going to be gone after this show. Hooray! DUD.
Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Paul Orndorff
Pre-Match Thoughts: This interview with Adonis is going too far. He has a cardboard cutout of Orndorff and is assessing his body. Orndorff is still very over, and that is clear during his entrance. He shows Gene Okerlund what his routine for a match is, and it’s him being in a sauna. Orndorff has the silliest sounding voice, it’s like a cartoon villain.
Match Review: Over in the ring, Adonis is wearing a dress and is given two arm drags, along with two bodyslams, and he tumbles out of the ring. Orndorff is really pissed, apparently at the prospect of having to put hands on a homosexual (I really don’t know), and he throws Adonis into the corner, but Adonis messes up his bump and tumbles through the ropes. Vince seems indignant over Adrian’s choice of wrestling gear. Orndorff puts Adonis in an abdominal stretch, but Adonis reaches the ropes. Adonis follows by sneaking in a cheap shot and giving Orndorff a hip-toss. Adonis charges in, and Orndorff backdrops him over the top rope! Orndorff grabs Jimmy Hart, and throws him over the top rope onto Adonis. That did not look fun.
After the commercial, both men are in the ring, and Orndorff gives Adonis an AIRPLANE SPIN. Somebody needs to bring that move back. Adonis then pulled Orndorff to the outside, only to be driven by Orndorff into the steel post. After that, Orndorff turns his attention to Hart, who runs away. Orndorff catches up to him, but with the referee unable to see, Adonis hits Orndorff with the MEGAPHONE. Adonis lands a hard knee as well, and tries a knee drop, which he misses. Adonis slams Orndorff, and drops an elbow. Cover gets 1. Adonis suplexes Orndorff now, very uncomfortably in fact. Adrian then heads up to the top, and goes for a big splash, but that fails when Orndorff raises his knees. Orndorff then ties Adonis up in the ropes thanks to a high knee, and pulls Jimmy Hart up to punch him as well. Then, Orndorff dropkicks Adonis, and tears off Adrian’s dress. He chokes Adrian with that dress, and eventually pushes the referee down to the canvas, getting himself disqualified at 9:32. Not very babyface like. He just raged out on Adonis.
My Thoughts: Vince was unbearable in this match. Wouldn’t stop calling Adonis fat, wouldn’t stop talking about Adonis wearing a dress. Completely unbearable. Anyway, Orndorff took a lot of very uncomfortable bumps in this match. It probably attributed to his physical condition later in his career, but that’s part of being a wrestler. The match was fine, nothing special, but very heated and well paced. It didn’t die in the control segments, which is always good as well. **.
So, after that, we cut to an empty arena promo with Mean Gene and Hulk Hogan. That seems a bit out of place at this stage of the card, doesn’t it? Anyway, Hogan watches Bundy’s assault on himself at SNME #5, then wigs out and cuts an angry promo. Now some clips of WrestleMania 2 are shown.
Ricky Steamboat vs. Jake Roberts
Pre-Match Thoughts: Excellent matchup for Saturday Night’s Main Event, one of my favorites yet. Steamboat has an interview before the match, and the story here is that Steamboat is Jake’s first big test. Steamboat doesn’t like Jake’s act with Damien. Roberts has a pre-taped interview of his own, and it’s very good and creepy. Perfect heel promo.
Match Review: Jake ATTACKS Steamboat before the bell, by clotheslining him off of the ring apron. Jake heads down to the floor, AND BAH GAWD HE DDT’S STEAMBOAT ON THE CONCRETE THAT’S CRAZY. Now Jake goes for the snake, and he drops that snake right on Steamboat, what a heel. Best heel in the WWF. Officials run out to help Steamboat, but Jake threatens them with the snake, and obviously they’re scared of that, but he leaves anyway. Steamboat gets taken out on a stretcher…and his wife is shown. Aw. No match after that, obviously.
My Thoughts: As everyone knows, Steamboat was legitimately knocked out by that DDT. It was, to this point anyway, the best angle to air on Saturday Night’s Main Event in my opinion. It did a great job establishing Jake Roberts as somebody who should be taken seriously, and again, it puts Steamboat in a role where he can come back from serious injury. That’s what he does best. Recommended.
The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/Freddie Blassie) vs. The British Bulldogs (w/Captain Lou Albano) in a Best 2 Out of 3 Falls Match for the WWF Tag Team Championships
Pre-Match Thoughts: This is right before the wWF’s tag team explosion takes place, and a rare instance of former tag team champions facing current tag team champions in a match on WWF TV. Very rare in 1986. Albano, Dynamite, and Davey have a promo, and some footage of their title win is shown. Sheik, Volkoff, and Blassie have a promo of their own, and the match then begins. This is a gimmick match that needs to return, I believe.
Fall #1: Davey and Volkoff begin the match, with Volkoff missing a charge to the corner. Davey goes for a small package that gets 1, and lands a hard shoulderblock on the Russian. Volkoff then drops Davey throat-first on the top rope and tags in Sheik, who gives Davey a huge german suplex. IN FOR THE CAMEL CLUTCH MAKE THEM HUMBLE AND DAVEY IS MADE HUMBLE at 1:28. That was quick.
Fall #2: Albano comes in to reassure his charges, and after the commercial, Volkoff is putting the boots to Davey Boy. Sheik tags in, and backdrops Davey. Then he spits on Davey, and lands a clothesline. Sheik puts Davey in an abdominal stretch, but the champion reverses it with a hip-toss. Davey misses an elbow drop, and Sheik tags out. Volkoff clotheslines Davey, but is given a sunset-flip that Sheik prevents the referee from counting through a distraction. Sheik then tags in, and gives Davey a gutwrench suplex for a 2 count. Davey fights back by giving Sheik an atomic drop, and covers for 2. Volkoff tags in after the kick out, and Davey gives him a back elbow. Davey goes for the tag as Vince plays up the possibility of Dynamite being injured, and Blassie helps Sheik cheat by holding Davey in place for a shot. And the referee just let him do it! Volkoff slams Davey for 2, but Volkoff thinks he’s won and celebrates, so Davey cradles him up for a 3 count at 5:58! Big pop for that and it wasn’t even the finish of the whole match.
Fall #3: Davey is STILL in there with Volkoff, and Vince confirms that Dynamite Kid’s knee is injured. So, while confirming that, Volkoff takes control again, and tags in Sheik. He LOADS HIS BOOT and kicks Davey in the chest, and goes for a Boston crab. It’s locked in, but Davey reaches the ropes. Volkoff tags in and gives Davey a backbreaker + submission attempt, but that won’t work. Don’t remember the last time I saw that work. Volkoff locks in a bear hug now, but Davey breaks free and POWERSLAMS the Iron Sheik. Volkoff breaks up the cover, and DYNAMITE TAGS IN. FINALLY. Sheik bear hugs Dynamite and takes him to the corner so Volkoff can do the same, and they have Dynamite cornered. Sheik gives Dynamite a gutwrench suplex, and TRIES TO MAKE HIM HUMBLE, but the referee gets distracted by Davey and Volkoff coming into the ring. As the referee ushers out Volkoff, Davey MAKES THE SWITCH, puts Sheik in a small package, and gets the pinfall victory for his team at 9:10. Bigger pop for that Bulldogs win.
And that’s all for the show!
My Thoughts: The first fall seemed to be telling a story of the Bulldogs being naive champions, which I wasn’t a fan of, but in the end the match turned into Davey overcoming the odds of having to keep the titles by himself, and that worked out pretty well. All in all that was an enjoyable match, nothing to put in the pantheon, but short and to the point. Dynamite’s involvement merely served as an opportunity for Davey to “regain his faculties.” **1/2.
This was a very good TV show, and it did a high rating. Good business and good wrestling on it, that means. Set up the summer pretty well, with Steamboat/Roberts as one of the big touring matches. Still nothing for Hogan though. That seems a bit odd, but the WWF doesn’t really have another heel to pair with Hogan. It’s Bundy rematches through the summer, same stuff they’ve been doing with Studd, and maybe time for Hercules and/or Adonis to get involved. Regardless, they are very weak on the heel side now that Savage has a title he needs to defend. Next time out, we’ll have a review of Assorted WWF Matches from April and May 1986!
Best: Jake Roberts/Ricky Steamboat angle. This was a classic, one of those things I’ve never forgotten since watching it for the first time. Set up some great business for the WWF and the attack was of course, a success.
Worst: King Kong Bundy vs. Uncle Elmer. I am SO GLAD I do not have to watch Uncle Elmer matches anymore. I shudder to think what it would have been like to start an Uncle Elmer project, where I’d find all of his house show stuff and watch that too. I don’t want to harm myself, so this is fine!
Card Rating: 7/10. Best SNME yet. Only one thing here was intolerable, and the rest was fun. No complaints.
