Andrew Lutzke
April 1986, Boston Garden
Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes call the action.
Dan Spivey vs. Don Muraco
Spivey is a Hogan doppelganger here as he has the long blond hair, the height and the yellow tights and boots. Spivey floated around the WWF for a something like 3 years and never did a thing of note. The only memory of him I have as a child is that he was part of a cavalcade of wrestlers who saved Hulk Hogan after Paul Orndorff had turned on him in the summer of ’86. His off and on again partnership with Mike Rotundo squandered in the mid-card and if I recall correctly Spivey finished up as a heel before jumping back to the NWA in 1988.
Muraco stalls to start. Don then tries to shake Spivey’s hand; Spivey takes note of this for a gimmick idea ten years later. Lord Alfred talks about Florida Championship Wrestling in veiled terms, which was a no-no in the WWF at this point. Several minutes in Muraco is still stalling. He’s rubbing his fists into his own head as some form of “oriental concentration method” according to Monsoon. Then he bails to the floor to waste some more time. Spivey catches him on the way back in and lays the boots to him, so Muraco heads back to the floor. Spivey keeps the pressure on and works Muraco over until Don catches him with a cheap shot and then tosses Spivey to the floor. Muraco flings Spivey into the barricade and the whole section tips over! Monsoon says young workers like Spivey lose because they “start to think about the good old days of college” in the middle of matches. Muraco tosses Spivey into another barricade section. The Magnificant One gets a near fall off a suplex. Spivey starts to unload on Muraco with fists and dropkicks Don over the ropes and nearly onto the announce desk. Spivey tries a suplex and is cradled for the pin. Not much to see here.
Davey Boy Smith and Pedro Morales vs. Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine
Dynamite Kid is out due to an illness in his family. The Dream Team had just lost the tag titles to the Bulldogs only weeks before this. Davey shows up Valentine early, so Beefcake comes in and stalls a bit before losing a test of strength. Morales enters and controls Beefcake thanks to the heels twice colliding into each other. Hammer comes in and wears at Morales with a series of elbow smashes to the chest and head. Both men take turns smashing Pedro’s nuts. The heels double team Pedro as Davey Boy argues with the ref. Beefcake fails to earn the pin with a suplex. The Hammer comes in and starts to work over Pedro’s leg, but the figure four is blocked and Valentine is kicked into the turnbuckle. Davey gets the hot tag and knocks the heels heads together and he nails a vertical suplex and a powerslam on Valentine. Pedro comes in and the heels are tossed together. Davey Boy tries to hit a diving headbutt, but Johnny Valiant shoves him off and Smith is crotched on the top rope. That’s enough to earn a pin for the Hammer. Sort of surprised Smith took the pin, but I guess it helps set up a Bulldogs vs. Dream Team rematch. This bout was mostly a bore.
JYD, Ricky Steamboat and Haiti Kid vs. Jimmy Hart, Dory Funk Jr. and Jimmy Jack Funk
DORY FUNK VS. A MIDGET! I smell shenanigans afoot!! The Funks attack JYD right away and choke him with their bullrope. The Dwarf steals the Funk’s cowboy hat. Steamboat is double teamed but makes his own save and tosses JJ Funk into a JYD forearm. Steamboat slams the Funks and JYD crawls on all fours and delivers headbutts. They snag Hart and try and set him up for the Midget but Hart is pulled to the floor. JYD tosses the Haiti Kid into JJ and the midget gets a 2 count. Dory comes in and JYD puts Funk’s head between his legs so the Kid can bite Dory’s bottom. Shades of Brisco/Funk circa 1976 I’m sure…Steamboat comes in and dropkicks both Funks. Haiti Kid wants in but after some stalling Hart refuses to come in to wrestle. Steamboat and JYD take turns working on JJ’s arm, then JYD holds him up for a chop from the midget. Dory and JYD do a series of running crisscrosses until JYD stops and just watches Dory keep running oblivious that JYD has ended the game. Dory can’t pull off this “comedy” wrestling nearly as good as Terry. Dory’s infamous European upper cuts are no sold by JYD and Steamboat helps him toss the heels together. The Funks start working over JYD, and since he’s lazy its just JYD laying down and taking kicks. Steamboat is tagged in and he takes his turn taking a beat down. Steamboat teases several comebacks and finally out strikes Dory and gets the JYD back in. JYD drops a headbutt and hits a side Russian legsweep that somehow hurts him too when delivered. JJ sets JYD up for Hart to tag in and Jimmy lays the boots to the Dog. JYD no sells and atomic drops Hart into the faces corner and lets the midget practice karate on Hart. A 6-way brawl erupts and during the skirmish JYD is laid out with the mega phone and Dory slams the midget and Hart gets the pin. This had its moments but Dory wasn’t suited for this type of match.
And that’s it for this card as it’s another 1 hour edited job. Why? Just show the whole damn card WWE! Phooey.
I looked up what they edited off: Tony Garea vs. Mr. X (Danny Davis IIRC), Moondog Spot vs. Jose Luis Rivera, Haku vs. Tiger Chung Lee, Lanny Poffo vs. Psycho Capone (Who??), and Ted Arcidi vs. Big John Studd. That’s a BRUTAL card.
Let’s see what’s next…
Boston Garden December 1986
Monsoon and “Killer” Ken Resnick on the call.
Pedro Morales vs. Harley Race
Pedro is near retirement here. Harley is in King of the WWF cartoon mode. Harley bumps all over to try and make Pedro watchable. A dream match 10 years too late. Harley chokes away as Ken and Monsoon talk about the NBA and NHL. Stomps and elbows give Pedro a chance to lay around. Suplex and a head butt for a near fall. Piledriver gets 2 and Pedro rakes Harley’s eyes to survive. Morales knocks Harley to the floor twice. Harley rolls Morales up with his feet on the ropes for the duke. A one man show here. Meh.
Haku and Tama vs. Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine
Tama was the Tonga Kid and he headlined briefly in 1984 for the WWF as a very young man in a feud with Roddy Piper. I believe he made a money play and Vince shipped him off. Haku had already headlined in several promotions as well. The Islanders never really clicked IMO. Haku ties Valentine up in a head scissors/armbar combo and then grinds him into the mat with a half nelson. Tama and Valentine take turns no selling the others chops. Haku back in to work over Greg’s leg with elbow drops and a half crab. Valentine is trapped for over 5 minutes by the Islanders. Haku spreads Greg’s legs with his own and stares Greg down instead of dropping a nut shot. Beefcake finally interferes and gives Greg a chance to blast Tama with an elbow that sends Tama flying to the floor, which hurts his leg. Tama is wore down by both heels and some quality distract the ref cheating. Beefcake struts and poses more than actually working. Shocker I know. Valentine piledrives Tama and locks in the figure four. Haku saves. Tama reverses a suplex to finally buy enough time to tag in Haku. Haku wipes out both heels with chops and headbutts. Tama nails a flying crossbody as time expires. Not a bad little match.
Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala
Kamala’s theme TERRIFIED me as a kid. It wasn’t until Undertaker scared Kamala at Summerslam ’92 that I got over it. I was 9…leave me alone. Kamala leap frogs Hogan(!) and that befuddles Hogan into retreat. Hogan fails at a slam and Kamala chops away at the wounded Hulkster. Hogan rebounds and delivers punches in bunches. Kim Chee stops that and Hogan is blasted with The Wizard’s Horn/Spike. Hogan is busted wide open and the cannibal gnaws on his wound. Kamala chops and chokes away. Hogan hit a nice gusher here, his tights even end up with blood stains. Kamala tries a top rope splash, but Hogan crawls away before Kamala can reach the top rope. Big splash gets 2. No Hulk up off that. A few chops later Hogan starts shaking. Hulk up. Punches, big boot, slam, leg drop. 123. I enjoyed this, as Hogan’s blade job helped this rise above feeling formulaic.
MSG November 1991
Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan and Lord Alfred Hayes host
El Matador vs. Kato
“Ole!” yells Vince. Kato tries a sneak attack but Tito avoids it and sends Kato to the floor. Tito controls with a very armbar heavy attack. Kato chops his way into control and gets a pair of chinlocks. Hayes kills the psychology of the move by suggesting Tito is resting up, Vince corrects him. Santana escapes but eats a boot almost right after. Tito rebounds with a big clothesline and a flying elbow to the back of Kato’s neck ends it. Totally basic stuff.
“Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich vs. The Berzerker
Kerry is jumped from behind and eats a big boot to the mush. Berzerker hits a big shoulder block but misses a drop kick. Kerry dumps him to the floor twice, but Kerry runs into the corner when he charges at Nord. They take turns smashing each other into the stairs and Kerry rolls in for a count out win. Match barely started. The abrupt finish baffles the announcers.
Virgil vs. Skinner
Virgil bobs and weaves and shadow boxes toward Skinner. Skinner controls with stomps, biting and tossing Virgil to the floor. Virgil rebounds back in but launches himself through the middle ropes and onto the floor. Gator breaker (reverse DDT) gets two. A little surprised that didn’t finish it. Virgil runs into an elbow and Skinner gets a 2 count. Vince blames the ref being fat and not getting over for the pin fast enough. Virgil hits a sunset flip for the win right after. Another nothing match in more ways than one.
Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair
Well the match quality certainly jumped fast! “We want Flair!!” chants. Ric is carrying a tag belt that is “blacked out” by orders from Jack Tunney as it’s really supposed to be the NWA’s big gold belt. Hogan is extra pissed as Flair just cost him the world title a few days before. Flair goads Hogan into chasing him and he attacks Hogan when they roll in the ring. Punches and chops rock Hogan until he returns the favor and Flair flops out of the corner and to the mat. Hogan bites Flair and punches him until Flair flops again. Hogan clotheslines him over the top rope and drives his head into the railing on all sides of the ring. Hogan then suplexes Flair on the cement floor for good measure. Flair chops away but Hogan no sells and whips Flair up side down in the corner. Hogan has his eyes raked but no sells the follow up attack and sends Flair flying over the turnbuckle and greets him with a clothesline that sends Flair to the floor. Flair takes a walk but Hogan throws him back in. Hogan no sells a throat drop onto the top rope and pokes Flair’s eyes for good measure. Flair tries a top rope move but he’s slammed off and eats a series of punches and big boot and a legdrop for the 123. Flair’s leg was on the rope though. Flair attacks Hogan from behind while Hogan argues with the ref and Flair and Perfect both slam his leg into the steel post. Hogan’s knee is worked over as the fans chant “Hogan!” Figure four leglock. Hogan fights his way out. Flair KO’s Hogan with brass knuckles and GETS THE PIN?!?!!?!?! Whoa! Wasn’t expecting Hogan to take a pin. Tony Garea comes down and tells the ref about the cheating and Flair is DQ’d. Hogan clears out the ring of the heels. Hogan sells the knee instead of flexing. Hogan brings a little kid in the ring and Hulk needs his help to get in the ring in a cute moment. Now he poses. Fun match.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. The Barbarian
Barbarian tosses his cape at Duggan and Hacksaw beats it up with his 2X4. The bulls lock up and neither can gain an advantage. Duggan rocks him with a shoulder block and a series of fists. Barbarian drops Hacksaw in response with a series of shots. He tastes Duggan’s face and locks on a bear hug but Duggan escapes almost right away. Barbarian drives Duggan into the turnbuckle several times and returns to the bear hug. Duggan breaks out and fails to down the Barbarian with a couple of clotheslines. Barbarian sends Duggan into the corner and Hacksaw nails him with a clothesline…for the pin?!?! Another out of nowhere finish. Match wasn’t too bad for a pair of hosses.
IC championship: Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. The Mountie
Heenan quips that The Mountie is the “Excellence of Electrocution”. Mountie blocks Bret from getting in the ring by holding the cattle prod toward him. Big Bossman sneaks
in and levels the Mountie and runs off with the weapon. Bret slams Mountie’s head into the turnbuckle and abuses The Mountie by raking his eyes across the ropes. They take turns biting each other. Bret controls until Bret charges into the corner post. A big flying elbow is followed by a vicious whip into the corner by The Mountie. Mountie locks in a chinlock and switches it to a blatant hair pull. Bret is tossed around by his hair and then locked in the “tree of woe” and stomped on. Mountie chokes Bret and yanks his hair while Bret is still tied up. Quality cheating. Bret is tossed to the floor and The Mountie jams a chair into Bret’s midsection. Mountie mocks him with some playful kicks and rattles Bret with a vicious looking piledriver. Mountie misses a flying crossbody but he beats Hart to his feet. Bret suckers him in and unloads with fisticuffs. Backbreaker and a elbow from the 2nd rope…gets the 3!?!?! Wow! I can’t say they haven’t surprised me with the random finishes tonight.
Big Bossman vs. IRS
IRS tries a sneak attack but Bossman comes back with a big boot and a haymaker sends IRS to the floor. Bossman uses IRS’s tie to hold him up as he punches his face. He slaps IRS and headbutts him. Corner splash – another one misses and IRS drops some boots to Bossman’s real nightstick. He drives Bossman into the ringpost. Abdominal stretch. Side headlock. Bossman fights out and snags a sleeper. Bossman misses another corner splash. IRS goes back to the side headlock and I go back to sleep. Bossman breaks out and splashes IRS. He whips Rotondo back and forth and the he drags IRS around by his tie and drops him with an uppercut. IRS dumps Bossman to the floor and the Mountie attacks him with a knee to the back. He rolls Bossman back in but IRS’s move attempt from the top rope leads to him eating Bossman’s boot. Mountie distracts Bossman and the ref and IRS hits Bossman with his briefcase and gets the pin. IRS sucks. Dull match.
The Rockers vs. The Nasty Boyz
A fan has 2 Cabbage Patch dolls dressed like the Nasty Boyz. Nasty Boyz stall to start. Saggs clubs away on Shawn. Shawn tries a Thesz press but he’s caught, so he bites SagGs face. (I have to assume all the biting is some locker room gag ongoing tonight). Shawn lures both Boyz toward his corner and Marty nails a double clothesline from the top rope. Marty tries using technical wrestling, but Knobbs beats him down. Some fans head to the exits. Shawn comes in and uses speed and aerial moves to baffle Saggs. Knobbs attacks Shawn from behind and Shawn is posted on the floor and then scooped up and driven kidney first into the post. Sags uses the chinlock to eat up some time. Knobbs comes in for the bear hug. So who thought giving the Nasty Boyz a 20 minute match was a good idea? Sags with a bear hug. Shawn escapes finally with a low blow and Marty gets the hot tag. Marty takes care of both men but Shawn comes in to help and the ref orders him out. Marty gets a roll up behind the refs back – Knobbs flips Sags on top. So Shawn comes in and tries to flip it over again but Marty had already turned it over and so Shawn accidentally gets Marty pinned. Match was largely dull thanks to the Nastyz.
